And Seattle takes Phoenix for a three-point thriller, 152–149. Who knew we were supposed to be watching basketball today?
For a performance that fine, I believe it's "sklz." Unreal. And this after having scored 60+ in three quarters a month ago.
It is, it must be admitted, very impressive.
Holy smoke!
It pains me to say this, but he's the best player alive. On the plus side, Kurt Angle is once again WWE champion.
Ogged, my Laker h8tred is second to none, but it's high time you recognized Kobe.
I'll give you some time to read the thread, Joe.
I meant, this thread is long overdue. Fucker.
Spurs lost today. Basketball is my enemy.
I would go so far as to call that a wizard cocksucker performance.
Kobe Bryant: class act.
Thank god I don't have to answer questions about things I utter in the heat of passion, is all I think when I read that transcript.
Slightly more seriously, JD, I'm unimpressed by your capacity for hatred. A real hater would say that if LeBron or T-Mac were given the green light, they could score like Bryant. Or that, with everyone and his cousin scoring 30 a game this year, clearly defense is a lost art in the NBA. Or that Kobe is shooting 45% from the floor this year, whereas Michael consistently shot in the low 50s (which really is unbelievable).
No one says he's MJ yet, but for a guy who's been pegged as The Next Jordan for years (along with countless others), he's growing into the mantle (does one grow into a mantle?? I'm posting Becks-style tonight, folks) amazingly well.
And (b), the Spurs have fantastic defense.
And (c), Kobe won't always play for the Lakers, here's hoping.
Re the link in 8: who knew that "cum" really was the official spelling?
Again, he's just following Jordan, the original Wizard cocksucker...
A mantle is an article of clothing, so one could grow into one.
If the United States government recognizes "c-u-m" to be the official spelling, this court will not dispute it.
What's wrong with asking if someone likes Vail, Colorado?
Methinks you're giving too much authority to a humble Colorado police-interrogation transcriber.
I'd really like to see Kobe's demeanor during this interview, because he's saying the right things--he really sounds surprised that she's accusing him. But of course he's evil and would know to do that.
Becks-style: Unforgged is the gayest sports blog ever, and also, did you guys ever read about the federal court opinion which used the lyrics of 50-cent as a source of definition?
baa -
It wasn't in DC that Jordan was getting busy:
"Have you ever had any celebrity lovers?Michael Jordan. The short version of this story is that back in 1993, when I was dancing in Denver before I was even a porn star, The Chicago Bulls were in town to play the Denver Nuggets. A few of the Bulls came into the club where I worked, including Michael Jordan. Of course all the dancers were fawning over him and although I wanted to meet him I wasn't into fighting through the hoards of strippers just to shake his hand, so I just went about my business. Apparently he was intrigued by the fact that I was ignoring him and he had management go get me to do a dance for him." (Porn star Kylie Ireland, NSFW.)
FYI: spouse Juanita Jordan (2 September 1989 - present) 3 children.
I've made my peace with Bird stabbing that crippled guy, ogged. You should do the same with MJ.
SCMT, I never really followed the Jordan infidelity beat, but the rumors had it that his extramarital affairs were absolutely prolific. Do you have any further goods on this topic?
OTOH, I've read that Jordan HAD to marry his wife. She was pregnant and didn't want an abortion, he had endorsements. He's had other fun, too: Jordan has been linked with Robin Givens, Vanessa Williams, and various porn stars (including Kylie Ireland). (Cite.)
Look, "infidelity" is the wrong word. Wasn't Michael quoted calling his relationship with Juanita a "business arrangement?" She's married to him, but he gets to play around. There's no transgression here.
Bird stabbed a crippled guy? I knew he was heartless, but, really?
From SCMT's link: Warren Beatty: Linked with Isabelle Adjani, Brigitte Bardot, Candice Bergen, Halle Berry, Sonia Braga, Judy Carne, Cher, Julie Christie, Joan Collins, Janice Dickinson, Britt Ekland, Jane Fonda, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn, Bianca Jagger, Diane Keaton, Madonna, Vivian Leigh, Jackie Onassis, Michelle Phillips, Diana Ross, Diane Sawyer, Stephanie Seymour, Carly Simon, Barbara Streisand, Liv Ullman, Mamie Van Doren, Tennessee Williams, and Natalie Wood.
Well duh. He's Warren Beatty. (Tennessee Williams?)
Worse, that crippled guy was ... Scottie Pippen.
We haven't had the argument that Pippen was better than Bird, have we?
No, probably because there's no argument to be made there.
I'd rather have Magic Johnson on a team than Kobe. He's a scoring machine that couldn't lead a teammate to a bottle of water, let alone a ring.
Pippen better than Bird? Oh. Hell. No.
I more or less agree with ogged. He and his wife married for business reasons. He was young, good looking, rich as hell, and the greatest athlete in the world. All logic demanded that he sleep around.
The only one I feel conflicted about is Vanessa. I think it was during the time she was married to R. Fox. On the one hand, I hate Fox. (Imagine the trash talk available on the blocks.) But on the other hand, Fox is a Tar Heel, and I'm pretty sure bedding another Tar Heel's wife is against the Carolina Code. Puzzler.
I've consulted The Code, and it's ok to do anything bad to Rick Fox. (And he probably wasn't home waiting for Vanessa to call, ya know?)
No, I don't think so. You can't possibly believe that at their retrospective peaks, can you?
Bird 84-88 (pts, FG%, Rbds, assts)
28.7 52% 10.5 6.6
25.8 50% 9.8 6.8
28.1 53% 9.2 7.6
29.9 53% 9.3 6.1
Pippen (90-94)
17.8 52% 7.2 6.2
21.0 51% 7.7 7.0
18.6 47% 7.7 6.3
22.0 49% 8.7 6.6
Although I would happily concede that Pippen was the better defender by far...
Rick Fox's hair excuses anything Vanessa does.
I don't actually believe it, but I do think that Pippen's defense, lauded as it was, is still underrated. For a few years, he was truly amazing.
Respective peaks, not retrospective. Someone alert Frederick.
You know who's amazing? Smush Parker. He managed to score 13 points, and he plays for the Lakers!
Yeah, Pippen doesn't get his due. Every account I've read says that his teammates loved playing with him, and that, on the Bulls, he was the player others went to with their team-related problems.
But not better than Bird.
I thought you just meant peaks as identified retrospectively, baa. Never admit error.
I think it's great that there's a player on the Lakers named after a line from a Spider Man/Hulk crossover comic.
You know, I thought about the deny, deny, deny route, Ben W, but conclude that powder should be kept dry for the next discussion of Iraq.
I'm coming to like the Lakers' lineup. Odom is forever flirting with a triple double. If they get Artest for nothing by some miracle, I could see them beating Dallas.
I wonder if Kobe got Google stock options for his performance.
Artest is a real threat: the Pacers aren't going to want him going anywhere in the east, and he's likely to completely tip the balance for any number of teams in the west.
Right until he loses his mind again, and drags whatever team is dumb enough to take him down into his latest mess.
Odom is forever flirting with a triple double.
What's really pissing me off is Odom somehow shoots 33% for his three pointers, yet is shooting 69% from the free throw line.
Kobe, on the other hand, is less known for the foreplay.
More on Kobe: "This is the high-wire act of our time. In 15 games since Dec. 20, Bryant has hit 80 points once, 60 once, 50 twice, 40 four times and 30 five times. He's averaging 43.3 points over that span and shooting 46.6% and 37% on three-pointers."
Right until he loses his mind again, and drags whatever team is dumb enough to take him down into his latest mess.
God he can be such an idiot. But it was good times when he went up in the stands. If only he'd gone after the right guy.
That would have made an awesome NBC commercial. "If you chuck a beer on a 6'7 black man, you'd better be ready to fight. The more you know..."
Ignorant question: if Bird was the major scorer on his team, could he be directly comparable to 2nd string scorer Pippen? What about normalizing for the scoring rate at the time and so forth?
In two years, Artest will be the only person who can handle LeBron. Get him now while you can, says I.
I'm pretty sure bedding another Tar Heel's wife is against the Carolina Code.
He later denied it, but it the mid-90s, it was generally accpted that UNC point guard (and head case) Jeff McInnis was sleeping with Ass't Coach Phil Ford's wife. It's a time-honored tradition in sports.
I didn't go to Hollywood or go into pro sports because of the nuisance of the sexual obligations. Between work and screwing, you really don't have time for anything else.
You can hire someone else to do the housekeeping, cooking, childcare, everything, but not the screwing. It's not enough just to make sure that the screwing gets done, you have to do it yourself in person.
You can't just say to Jessica Simpson, "Hi, beautiful, I want to be romantically linked with you, and Raoul her is ready to go!" No, you have to talk to her, oo and ah about her great silicone -- the whole nine yards.
Poor Wilt Chamberlain. 3 a day for 20 years!
did you guys ever read about the federal court opinion which used the lyrics of 50-cent as a source of definition?
Do you mean Ludacris? This Seventh Circuit opinion (pdf link) explains why they changed the spelling of "hoe" to "ho":
The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch "hoe." A "hoe," of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden's response. We have taken the liberty of changing "hoe" to "ho," a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps "You doin' ho activities with ho tendencies."
Forgot to add, the relevant footnote is on page 2 of that link.
Ko-be! Ko-be! Ko-be!
The greatest there ever was, or ever will be.
He looks like Lee Van Cleef. So I say, speak against him only in a whisper.
http://www.wunderblogs.com/soaressilva/images/vancleef6.jpg
http://images.forbes.com/media/lists/53/2005/OKPF.jpg
Lee Van Cleef had a 41" vertical leap.
56 -- that opinion was definitely written by a judge, and totally not by the judge's 26-year-old clerk.
and could disembowel a man by looking at him sideways.
When Lee Van Cleef said, "I like Vail," even women who weren't within earshot became aroused.
And they did not object when he asked to . . .
When Lee Van Cleef became upset with his gigantic, dominating center, the center left town.
I didn't go to Hollywood or go into pro sports because of the nuisance of the sexual obligations.
The comment thread should have automatically closed after that line.
More similarities:
"They trailed by as many as 18 points early in the period, angering Bryant.
" 'He was ticked off,' Odom said.
"When asked what Bryant said at that stage, Odom replied: 'Nothing. That's when it's bad.' "
I think we need to get used to the fact that Bryant, once a little bitch, has transubstantiated the scorn of his peers into arm-smashing, Lee Van Cleef powers. This has manifested itself in Bryant's face, which is now Lee Van Cleef's face. He is evil, yes, but do not complain to him about that.
I interned for a judge, back in law school, who was expecting to preside over a trial involving MC Hammer. The clerks were terribly excited about the possibility of the judge's granting a motion in the words: "Defendant's motion is PROP-AH!"
(My internship ended before the trial -- I assume the judge said no such thing.)
Bryant's face, which is now Lee Van Cleef's face.
With a moustache.
Van Cleef often had a slight one as well. Which means, perhaps, if a person were to shave it whilst either was sleeping, it would produce negative Van Cleef/Kobe.
Negative Van Cleef/Kobe would either be (a) not evil or (b) not powerful. I think in keeping with the law of opposites it would be (a) not evil -- the powers would be redirected in the opposite direction, the direction of happiness.
And therefore, some brave person must shave Kobe.
Or clean-shaven Kobe would just go out and dish 81 assists in a game.
and ogged would be glad.
But you never know, Kobe might grow another moustache more difficult to detect.
text, does a moustache need to be on the face?
no it does not. I was trying to get to that in 73. It can be grown in more sinister places. In order to disguise the effect.
I leave it to more enterprising web-crawlers to find a visual example of such a moustache.
Or clean-shaven Kobe would just go out and dish 81 assists in a game.
You mean, Steve Nash.
77: So I'm just finding out now that Google Image defaults to a "Moderate Safe Search" filter. How long has that been going?
I know, that feature is a disaster.
It's not just the 81; it's that this could easily be the second game this season in which he had 81 points. Just absurd.
Maybe that's why those The Pillow Book stills were disappeared from my google searches.
Sweet that you got that in on comment 81, SCMTim.
From now on 100! will be replaced with Kobe, potentially!
My calculator says 61% from the floor and 54% from behind the arc, Ogged.
Ok, it definately said 7-14 3 point attempts last night, they changed it at some point. I don't remember what the FG stat was originally.
Speaking on Skillz, am I the last person in the world to discover how completely awesome Kanye West is, or just the last person in America?
My only exposure to Kanye West has been the "George Bush doesn't care about black people" episode, so at worst you're next-to-last. Unless that's what you're referencing (which, indeed, was pretty awesomely funny).
Yeah, that was literally the first I'd heard of him too (though obviously he was already a major star, by virtue of the fact that he was appearing at that benefit at all). A couple of nights ago, I decided to check out his latest CD, listening to the 30-second clips for each song that iTunes allows, and was unexpectedly blown away.
It's a Time magazine article, but I thought it was a good introduction to Kanye West. Scroll down for the excerpted article.
I think that's moved beyond excerpting, and into copyright infringement territory. I'm pretty sure the guy just posted the whole article. Interesting, though.
I am both honored and disturbed by the emergence of the term "commenting Becks-style".
Becks, it's only because Michael hasn't sloppy-typed in a while, to the chagrin of many.
I thought it specifically meant "commenting drunk." Sadly, Judy didn't keep it up.
And of course it's a recognition that you achieved the pinnacle of the form, and the rest of us can only aspire to be your epigoni.
the pinnacle of the form
I dunno, Michael's able to do it sober, which is pretty impressive.
I insist that Michael is not able to comment drunk sober.
Hey fuckers, you wanna throw down? I'm ready to bang, anywherewhen!
And Matt, obs. by "excerpt" I meant the whole article was "excerpted" from teh magazine.
Watch where you're swinging that bottle, Michael.
Michael and I should have a drunk-commenting competition. I may be the underdog but I think I could take him.
Thanks, Matt. You can guess how I define "commenting Weiner-style". From one master of their form to another...
Weiner, when it's not the alcohol, it's the meth.
I am in a coffee shop where they know how to make a machiato right and they time the espresso shots. Wonderbar!
the new going out and partying: drinking glasses of cheap whiskey at home and making nonsensical in blog comments! woot!
Wait, does anyone else try to fix you up?
OK, 103 is pretty stiff competition.
Maybe Becks and Michael should get together. It could be a movie -- They were deadly drunk-commenting rivals. But when the beer-goggles came off, they realized it was Love.
Are you giving up on Becks and Ogged now? Or writing an open relationship into the story? Or better yet—blogger sex scandal.
Maybe Becks and Michael hook up after the drunk-commenting comment, because of the beer goggles, and when Ogged finds out he is consumed with jealousy and realizes that his Tivo-resetter* can't hold a candle to the charmingly drunk Becks, but thinks it's too late, leading to Hilarity before the happy ending.
*This comment would be more entertaining if Ogged were the one with the Jane Galt fetish.
No one's mentioned washerdreyer's feelings in all of this.
Won't someone please think of washerdreyer?
Let me know if I go over the line, btw.
Oh, Weiner. That's not how it would play out. More like: Maybe Becks and Michael hook up after the drunk-commenting comment, because of the beer goggles, and when Weiner finds out he is consumed with jealousy and realizes that his matchmaking overtures have really been hiding his affection for the charmingly drunk Becks, but thinks it's too late, leading to Tragedy.
Yeah, now that I've seen Fontana without the beer goggles and dark lighting, I'm back on the prowl.
Weiner, you were going too fast with your narritive. Hilarity is the pseudonym of a barely legal Vietnamese masseuse/sex worker, yes? But then what?
Perhaps Becks leaves me for Ogged, until one day she walks in on him sitting in the dark, naked, with a bowl of jello, watching swimming videos. She's distraught, returns to me, and we continue our downward cycle of cheap whisky and inchoherence, until, bitter, cynical, addled, and half crazy, I write a barely-even-english rant as my masterful philosophical treatise, it runs 900 pages, and is instantly bought by everyone who has never taken more than a couple philosophy classes, propelling me to riches and stardom, where I sober up, realize my unworthyness and the harm I have wreaked upon the minds of the world, and committ suicide by impaling myself on the steeple of the empire state building, where I utter my last, dying words in a barely audible, bloody whisper (picked up by advanced satellite technology), "Who is Standpipe Bridgeplate?" Of course, the teeming masses immediatly form a devout cult around this.
Only two typos. You need a drink and fast, Michael.
Standpipe Bridgeplate is his sled, duh.
Standpipe Bridgeplate is his sled, duh.
Hello, spoiler space? I hadn't seen that one yet.
While I'm happy to be thought of, I'm not sure how my musings on what did or didn't take place at the Manhattan meetup are relevant to Weiner's passion for Becks.
I'm astonished that there isn't more Blue blogospheric chatter about Kobe's feat. The NBA is our game, dammit. At least Kleiman's new guy, Zasloff or some such, is on it. Even if what he says makes me suspect I'm going to disagree with his future NBA opinions.
Also, I approve of Becks-blogging = drunk-blogging. So awesome.
Standpipe is actually dead the whole time.
w/d, I think you're supposed to be upset at our peddling Michael around when you've clearly got dibs.
Standpipe is actually dead the whole time.
But is he/she terrorized?
Standpipe Bridgeplate is a cookbook!
Just when we think the comments can't get any more meta-, they do.
Becks is the drunk blogger around here? My secret is safe with you guys, I guess.
Standpipe is actually the result of a sinister government program.
I wish I knew how to quit you, Standpipe.
Standpipe Bridgeplate is Ogged's father!
Standpipe is, clearly, the being behind the curtain.
Better yet: Standpipe is, in fact, the eidos of Unfogged. He is, therefore, the true Unfogged, whereas the community and/or blog that we usually designate by that title is merely a pale imitation of the real thing. As, after all, the title clearly suggests.
Standpipe is, in fact, the eidos of Unfogged
Eidos? I googled that and got "everyone is doing outrageous sex". Clearly not Unfogged.
n : (anthropology) the distinctive expression of the cognitive or intellectual character of a culture or a social group
Eidos. (The crew here need to get at work on that entry, btw.)
Plato's Allegory of the Cave, which is where I got the term and the metaphor of the shadow.
Eidos.org is perhaps the most politically confused website I've ever seen.
Which one? This is a movie?
The Sixth Soylent Citizen of the Apes Strikes Back.
If Standpipe is Earth, who is World?
We're all living inside Standpipe Bridgeplate.
Listen to me. You've gotta tell them! Standpipe Bridgeplate is people!
Standpipe Bridgeplate is really....a man!
Are we still talking about basketball?
81 points deserves an on-topic thread, dammit!
Nooo! It's bad enough that Yglesias's site has been taken over by sports blogging. We can't let it happen here.
Al's sports comments are pretty good, which is scary in a "dogs sleeping with cats" kind of way.
Agree that Al can be irritatingly smart about the NBA.
There's actually a serious problem here. Happened again on the deli issue.
As I said at the NYC meetup (and got much grief for), I have no issues with Al. He bothers me much less than other trolls and has kind of earned a place in the blogosphere by his persistence and ubiquity. And, as you point out, unlike many other trolls, he actually does occasionally contribute something interesting to a discussion. Some of those newbie TPMCafe trolls, in comparison, I just want to reach through the screen and smack.
I don't actually read the comments anywhere but here, with the occasional exception of CT and BitchPhd. Too many Als floating around, making cyberlife suck.
his persistence and ubiquity
Yeah, Al has paid his dues. Hard not to respect that.
I also basically don't read the comments anywhere else (occasionally at Yglesias's; you may notice my comments in the deli thread), although I have to agree that Al is much less objectionable than the other trolls I've seen.
. . . and Al pulls off his mask to reveal that Al is really . . . Standpipe Bridgeplate!
Of course, in the end we find out what we wanted to know all along: Standpipe Bridgeplate is really a man!
. . . and Standpipe Bridgeplate pulls off his penis to reveal that Standpipe Bridgeplate is really a . . .
I think Becks beat you to it, Tia.
. . . and Standpipe Bridgeplate pulls off his penis to reveal that Standpipe Bridgeplate is really a . . .
. . . frontman for King Missile.
I am preempted, but not pwned, as per Ogged's rules, which I meekly obey.
Of course, in the end we find out what we wanted to know all along
Speak for yourself, Tia. As for me, I prefer to maintain the quantum indeterminacy of Standpipe's gender.
pulls off his penis
the quantum indeterminacy of Standpipe's gender.
Perhaps Standpipe Bridgeplate is an oyster leech. The king of the oyster leeches, even.
Tia's heart leapt at the prospect of the protection and camaraderie of one last inviolate human being: there was the familiar figure of Standpipe Bridgeplate. She rushed closer. Standpipe turned around, pointed, and opened Standpipe's mouth in a high-pitch scream.
Just so long as Standpipe is not an oyster toad.
On the plus side, Kurt Angle is once again WWE champion.
So, so good.
I can't contribute much to the sports discussion except to say that this excerpt from SI about Caltech's bball is entertaining.
It's been 21 years since Caltech, a Division III school in Pasadena, won a Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference game.
"We think too much," says Roy Dow, the Beavers' coach.
And no one has asked the inevitable question yet: How many years since they last saw a real beaver?
there are plenty of girls who like smart guys, ogmb, and caltech isn't all-male anyway.
Lots of women at MIT (Hi!) and our teams were also the Beavers. (Every year, the student newspaper would have the same headline on the annual MIT-Caltech hockey game: "Beavers Win!")
Oregon State is also Beavers, and you don't have all those annoying smart people around.
I worked at a chemical company for a spell and one of our clients was, I kid you not, Big Beaver Adhesives. Google tells me they have since changed the company name to just Beaver Adhesives.
The end of Thomas Pynchon's V. features one Brenda Wigglesworth from Beaver College, which I later found out was a real institution. It was originally located in Beaver County in Western PA (site of this recent sports-related jerkery), though it moved to suburban Philadelphia in 1925. It has since changed its name to Arcadia University.
