So interesting. I'd love to buy stock in a company that had solved the egg-freezing problem. Also, you might freeze eggs a long time before you had to worry, just to get the most healthy ones (I don't know).
A friend of mine wrote a funny and very short story on egg-freezing, which I think grew out of a conversation we were having on the subject. (Linked it once on my blog.)
Maybe she just meant "young enough that the eggs are still fresh."
Well, $1000 isn't going to get you a lot of elective surgery, is it? Maybe she could get moles removed.
Becks, was it more inappropriate than asking a coworker what elective medical procedures your buddy should get?
I figure that's what she meant, Apo, but there's just something about the whole thing that weirds me out that I can't put my finger on. It's this contradiction of being a young woman today -- Go out! Get a job! Be independent! You don't need a man! But you'd still better get one fast before you shrivel up and are no good for breedin'!
What a weird and tactless thing for someone to say, unless (and even if) it came from, as you suggest, a place of bitter regret.
She could spend it on prescriptions, of course... I assume if she's looking for a way to blow $1000, medically, she doesn't have prescriptions to pay for.
What about electrolysis? Everybody has hairs here or there that they'd rather not.
Maybe she could get moles removed.
Or a metal plate in her head! I've always wanted one of those.
5 - OK, "inappropriate" was probably harsh but it did seem like a pretty big jump from her asking me about my roommate's LASIK because she was interested in doing it and me asking if you can use money from a medical savings account for teeth bleaching to "If she's your age and still single, she should freeze her eggs."
(And I promise this blog won't become completely devoted to Tia and my reproductive issues. Today's twofer was coincidental.)
You know I don't react that badly to that. There are few answers to the question "What kind of medical procedure should friend X get?" that wouldn't be at least a little intrusive, and she was saying it about a third party, not you, so she might have felt that she could step out further on the propriety branch. And if anything, egg freezing is a mechanism to help alleviate biological clock worries--it sounds like she's just encouraging your friend to put a deposit in the bank so she doesn't have to worry about it when she's planning her career, and won't have anything to regret later. I don't see implied either that your friend should be focusing more on babymaking or that she necessarily has to have one.
It's inappropriate because it makes inappropriate assumptions.
1) Everyone wants to have children.
2) Women who are Becks' age and still single are in some danger of not having children.
3) Women who are Becks' age and still single should thus freeze their eggs to ensure they can have children.
All three of those are utter bullshit, in their own ways.
Okay, maybe a little inappropriate. Maybe. I'm certainly not about to freeze my eggs. However: when I'm old and shrivelled and finally able to afford rent, I rather doubt I'll want to implant someone else's eggs.
Also, I think part of my reaction has to do with hearing suggestions of future old-maid-hood before I've even turned 30.
I think what makes it inappropriate or at least tactless is the "your age," the "still single," and the "should."
It's more polite than "She should get liposuction," isn't it?
$1000 isn't even in the ballpark, though.
Tia and my reproductive issues
If you guys are already trying to have a baby, I don't see what the problem is. I'm sure you can find many willing donors at the Mineshaft.
17: Isn't it the case that by saying "Tia and my" as opposed to "Tia's and my" Becks has implied that the reproductive issues in question are ours jointly?
Yeah, that's a rough encounter, but I feel myself drawn more to the well-meant, place-of-bitterness camp myself. I think this is a cruel dilemma, and it's easy for me to recognise it and pity it because I don't have to face it. I'd pour you a drink if I could.
Phi Slamma Grammar aside, it sounds pretty rude to me, for the reasons given in 12, 14, and 15.
And is this not the conclusive demonstration that HSAs are the worst way to address the alleged problem of medical overconsumption?
Becks, aren't you 25 or something?
Tia's is a more charitable reading, but the your age doth irk, if only because it seems the sort of thing unlikely to be said to a 20-year-old, because they have plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing, whereas you, miss running out of time, should save your eggs because by the time you find a man, you may need them!
It may be inappropriate, but if you're 40 and all your friends are busily going to fertility clinics (or if you've been through it yourself), I can see how it would leap to mind. And it may be a case of wishing you could have told your younger self.
(Not 40 myself, but know women older than I am who are a bit crazed on the subject.)
"Tia's and my" is incorrect usage; "Tia and my respective reproduction issues" would have clarified.
If she were a man she could spend it on a colonoscopy. Or do they do those for wimmin too? Will the medical plan reimburse for purchase of a contract to freeze one's head posthumously?
They do those for women too, at least for the ones who have colons.
23 is incorrect! You should be able to take out the "and my" and "respective" and have it still make sense; "Tia reproductive issues" does not make sense.
23: could you give a reference for your first assertion? 'Cause I am calling it into question.
Shoot -- lost my chance to call 23's assertion into question -- Silvana was quicker on the trigger than I. Pwn'd am I.
I agree with 26 that 23 is correct. 18 is exactly what I meant -- I was suggesting that you were trying to have a baby together, and would have to call on one of us for assistance. IYKWIMAITYD.
Well, you called into question the first assertion, I the second. So by Weiner-rules, not pwned.
I disagree with both of the assertions in 23.
have to call on one of us for assistance
I make pretty babies. Just sayin'.
10- no, you can't use it for teeth whitening. And this isn't a medical savings account, it's a flex-spending account. And MSA allows carryover between years, a flex account is what you're referring to with the use-it-or-lose-it declining balance.
I am the w-lfs-n of health care policy.
I have also tried to make my first inside joke.
"Tia reproductive issues" sounds like something someone is going to end up Googling in a few months to find a reference to this thread.
Okay, I looked it up, I'm pwned on this one. Fucking fuck.
I'd say she could blow the money on a lot of contact lenses, or several pairs of fancy designer glasses, but she probably doesn't need those anymore.
You can spend HSA money on over-the-counter medications as well: just go crazy at the drug store and stock up on that kind of stuff.
(This conundrum is, by the way, why I don't have an HSA-- it just seems backward. And who gets to keep the money if you don't spend it? Weird.)
I turned 28 in December. So, inching close to the 30 mark but far enough away that I'm mentally not going there yet.
And I definitely sympathize with 19 and 22. If that's what she's going through, I feel for her and that's what I meant by the "because it's kinda true" comment in the post.
23 looks odd but I wouldn't argue with the Grammar Policeman.
Say, for example, one of her best friends tried to conceive for five years without success and is now, at this moment, in China, combing through orphanages for a child. And, say, that another friend of hers tried for three years to conceive, and wasn't successful until she started drinking some tea recommended by a Chinese herbalist. &c. &c.
And assume that these are the discussions she is surrounded by at every social event. And that she gets regular email updates on these and other stories.
(Examples taken from my cousin's circle, not mine, quite yet.)
I'm inclined to give it the charitable reading. This may be an age thing. I'm roughly Apostropher's/ Weiner's/LB's/Ogged/ac's age, and I know more women than I'd have thought who worry about precisely this sort of thing. At a minimum, however bitchy the comment, I feel bad for the woman in her 40s who would - be in the place? I'm not sure of the phrasing - to think and say it.
If you want kids, you have many, many fertile years to waste before you worry, Becks. My sympathies are with the person past that point, I'm afraid.
On the topic of advice to your roommate from internet strangers:
Contact lenses, glasses, refill of birth control pills, refills of all prescriptions, dental checkup/work, all-around physical, nutrtionist consult, maybe.
On the topic of health plan spending accounts:
Isn't it fucking weird that the health plan doesn't roll over and now she has to burn money or lose it? How is this supposed to be more efficient?
34 - Yeah, it's a flex account. Can you use it for any of the other things that people mentioned, like electrolysis? I don't see how she can go $1000 crazy at the drugstore and, like Weber said in 37, the thing that would most easily suck up money (glasses/contacts) she doesn't need anymore.
Biological clock issues aren't the only reason to worry about future fertility. Accident and disease, at most any age, can impair fertility.
37- That's more legal than teeth whitening, but still quasi-legal- you're not supposed to buy more OTC medication than you can reasonably use to treat a current problem. The IRS reserves the right to ask for your receipts (so save them) and they might ask if they see a lot of OTC purchases. Buying $1000 of Tylenol won't fly. If you want to make things really interesting, however, try buying $1000 of Sudafed.
I believe the sponsoring company keeps the leftover balance- they have to front the money at the beginning of the year and they lose the money if you quit or are fired partway through a year but have used up your whole year's balance.
23 looks odd but I wouldn't argue with the Grammar Policeman.
No, Weiner is the Grammar Policeman!
I don't see anything necessarily wrong with "your age"; I think it could be easily meant to say, "Your eggs are hale and hearty, in prime freezing condition." "Still" is more problematic. As for "should", as others have suggested, the middle-aged love to tell the young what's best for them in undiplomatic terms in all arenas; I don't know if I'd read the "should" as suggesting that the rules are stricter in the reproductive realm; it might just be that she thinks she knows best about a lot of life path issues and doesn't have to hide it.
I know I'm being more charitable than I could be; I just feel like it given how prevalent fertility stresses are for women that age, as ac says.
Sometimes when I think about what I would do if I got pregnant, I think that I would want to have it and give it to a gay men well off enough to compensate me for the myriad financial issues I'd confront if I were pregnant, and have an open adoption, so I could visit Tia-progeny and see what he or she was up too. Then I would have gotten biological child birth out of the way and I could adopt my own kids. When I mentioned this plan to Graham, he became quite agitated, so I hope it doesn't actually become an issue.
in China, combing through orphanages for a child
Really? Or hyperbolically? Because this is not the normal procedure for adopting a child from China.
Sure, MHS, but I kinda doubt that the co-worker was implying that Becks should save her eggs because she could get a disease or be stricken with a horrible accident. Or would have told a male co-worker to freeze sperm.
Doesn't it depend on the prescription? I can get birth control pills in four month prescriptions.
Isn't it fucking weird that the health plan doesn't roll over and now she has to burn money or lose it?
Except if it were not that way, this would be even more of a tax-shelter-for-the-rich deal than it currently is. Right?
Hyperbolically. I just knew this one woman was in China; I'm not receiving the emails myself.
42- Let's see, I have the list from our company plan in my desk- there's a pretty long list, but some possibly relevant things-
Dental insurance, or any other insurance that you could get tax-free through your company (disability, etc.)
Accupunture
Adoption fees (solves the egg freezing problem!)
Birth control pills (does not solve the egg freezign problem!)
Chiropractors
Electrolysis is allowed
Hair transplants- seems like you can go either way with the hairiness
Prescription eyeglasses
Supplemental health insurance
Psychiatrists & psychologists
Prescription vitamins
There's an IRS website that lists everything, including the guidelines for OTC purchases. There's a big list of things that are specifically not allowed, which includes teeth whitening, bottled water, cosmetics, cellulite treatment, marriage couseling, hair growth stimulants (but transplants are allowed?), personal trainers, toiletries, non-prescription vitamins, weight loss programs, and others.
Does the roommate have time to get addicted to painkillers before the FSA rolls over? That can get pretty expensive.
I dunno, JO: one of my friends has a very ill wife, and they have to guess each year how sick she's going to turn out to be, so the money can be withheld from his paycheck for prescription coverage. If they guess too high, they lose all the money at the end. This strikes me as absurd.
Wouldn't it be possible just to cap the fund at a reasonably low amount?
As for "should", as others have suggested, the middle-aged love to tell the young what's best for them
I read the "should" as implying the quickest way to burn through $1000, not as instructing what late-20s women ought to do as a matter of age-driven imperative. But now this is beginning to resemble Ogged's UPS guy story.
Also, therapists but not marriage counselors? That seems arbitrary.
But men don't really have to freeze sperm, do they? Sure, there's sometimes some degradation, but not anywhere like there in ova. (My Mexican honey has a new half sister; his dad is 70.)
hooo boy, that could buy a lot of drugs.
also, once again i find myself wanting to be able to hear the tone of voice indicated by italics. like that weird -gg-d race / class / wha? post, i could see that as implying several things.
Isn't it fucking weird that the health plan doesn't roll over and now she has to burn money or lose it?
IRS regulations, your one-stop-shopping center for fucking weirdness. The legal theory that makes health flex accounts tax-exempt is that they're a form of insurance--you're paying a premium out of each paycheck for the right to claim reimbursement for up to $x in medical expenses for that year. And since it's theoretically a kind of insurance, you shouldn't get your premiums back if you don't claim as much reimbursement as you could have. (The insurance idea is also why you can get reimbursed for any amount up to your annual limit at any time during the year, even if you haven't contributed that much yet.)
They could have an accident, Jackmormon. It could fall off.
A government program that's arbitrary? I've never heard of such a thing.
Here's arbitrary- there's an equivalent version for child care expenses, but for some reason you can only use up that money on a pay-as-you-go basis- if you deduct X dollars a month, and spend X in January, you have to wait until your next paycheck before spending more from the account. For the medical account, you can deduct X dollars every month but you can immediately use 12*X dollars at any point in the year.
Yeah, I understand how it works, and why it counts as insurance. It just doesn't strike me as terribly efficient, though perhaps not more so than normal health insurance; maybe it's just the fact that it's not called a 'premium' and you're allowed to guess how much to pay is what seems weird.
My best friend from college (who is my age) is struggling with some infertility issues right now so I've had a peek of how rough that can be, without even factoring in time pressures because of worrying about advancing age. It is definitely something I hope to never have to experience. The process someone has to go through to freeze their eggs, if it's like egg donation, is pretty brutal, though – it takes months and involves big doses of hormones. That just seems like such an extreme suggestion.
But this may be an issue where, like Tim said in 40, I'm just not fully appreciating the big picture because of my age and should just STFU.
Obviously, you should always underestimate how much to deduct from your paycheck- if you guess too high, you lose all the unused money, but if you guess too low you just lose the tax benefit on the excess you have to spend out of pocket. It's game theory written into the tax code.
It just doesn't strike me as terribly efficient
Oh, it's not efficient. It's stupid. But when you have health policy being developed by employers duking it out with unions and employers' tax lawyers duking it out with the IRS over the course of the last 60 years or so, it's not too hard to end up with levels of irrationality that even Congress would have a hard time matching.
Wait, there's a treatment for cellulite?
And SCMT, to make a totally random observation, I always guessed you were in your late 20s.
massage therapy. 13 times.
Or a boob job. Whatever ;-)
It would be kind of cool to blow the whole stash on acupuncture, electromagnetic therapy, thought-field therapy, that kind of crap, just to have the experiences. Acupuncture is even kind of neat: I once dated a girl whose mother was an acupuncturist, and when I met mom she gave me the full treatment. Useless, but it tingles!
Aha! I see an opportunity...
1. Save too much money in your flexible spending account.
2. Blow it on a bunch of alternative therapies.
3. Write article/book debunking alternative therapies.
4. Profit!
My parents have always done this tax exempt health savings thing, and I'm pretty sure the contributions are capped. They're only allowed to put $4000 in per year (I think), and we've never had a problem using it up. After braces and other dental work, glasses, prescriptions, co-pays, etc., it's all used.
71: i bet she did! hee hee. um. nevermind.
, like Tim said in 40, I'm just not fully appreciating the big picture because of my age and should just STFU.
Oh boy. I really didn't mean that you should STFU, at all. Sincerely. I meant that you should have lots and lots of unprotected sex.
DaveL -- I have a FSA which will only reimburse up to the amount I have contributed so far that year. If I want to claim an expense early in the year I have to resubmit the bill later after more money is in the account. Is this abnormal? Should I raise some heck about it?
Also I frequently have to resubmit the bill a couple of times before their dang accounting or whatever dept. gets around to recognizing that I have indeed sent in a bill. But based on what SP said in 61, my 76 may be mixing up the policies of two FSA's.
So, can you freeze eggs? I thought you couldn't. Embryos, yes, but for some reason not eggs.
Becks, what is this moderating your original comment to take account of other's opinions stuff? You can't do that until comment 559, otherwise the thread will peter into consensus before we even reach 100. Have you learned nothing from Ogged?
78: I'm pretty sure you're right, LB. Whoever solves the problem will be really, really rich.
This is OT, I'm sorry, but an important question got lost in the hurlyburly of the transition: Did I pwn w-lfs-n?
Tia 5, w-lfs-n 0. My intuitions also line up with Tia's, but my grammar-policemanship is in doubt. I'm sure w-lfs-n can find a usage manual somewhere that supports his view.
I have a FSA which will only reimburse up to the amount I have contributed so far that year. If I want to claim an expense early in the year I have to resubmit the bill later after more money is in the account. Is this abnormal? Should I raise some heck about it?
If it's a health FSA, yes, you should raise heck. Tell them to look at Q&A 7(b)(2) of IRS Proposed Regs. section 1.125-2, which says very specifically that the full amount that you elect for the year has to be available at any time during the year (but don't take that as legal advice). If it's an HSA or one of the other more recent Congressional forays into market-oriented healthcare, then the rules are different.
OK, then I try my response to 81 without the link on my name:
Tia 5, w-lfs-n 0. My intuitions also line up with Tia's, but my grammar-policemanship is in doubt. I'm sure w-lfs-n can find a usage manual somewhere that supports his view.
So, how is everyone? I had some toast this morning.
Let me tell you, Brokeback Mountain is some sad.
So, how is everyone?
I'm gradingalicious, thanks.
Extraordinarily thinly sourced story suggesting that Tom Cruise is a jerk. OTOH, after Batman Begins it might not be such a tragedy if Katie took some time off from movies.
(I should say, I don't really place any evidentiary value on that story at all. Link for entertainment purposes only.)
I just got back from the gym, and I saw the cutest thing. So, my gym is a notoriously "gay" gym, which is awesome by me, because it means I can check out hot dudes without worrying about getting hit on. Is it wrong of me to say there's something that's teh ghey, in a good way, about elliptical machines? Anyway, so there are these two dudes, who I think were friends/possibly lovers, being sort of gay on these gay elliptical machines, each of which had a personal tv screen, and each of them with their own headphones, was watching Will & Grace. Teh cute.
And SCMT, to make a totally random observation, I always guessed you were in your late 20s.
Just like … Becks herself! She wants you, Tim.
So, how is everyone? I had some toast this morning.
I'm pretty good. I can't believe it's Thursday already.
I wish it weren't Thursday. I need more time. I have to pwn.
I had thought it was a conscious allusion.
Happiness studies indicate that people who never have kids are on the average just as happy as those who do have them. The exception to this is the people who want to have kids but never do: they register as significantly less happy then the other two groups.
Most of my female friends are around 40 or so. Those who don't want kids don't think about them, but those who do want kids seem to struggle to think about anything else. At 25, they would have punched your coworker in the face for making that suggestion, but now, they're probably wishing they'd done it themselves. (I should note that even at 35 these fabulous women were still too busy taking e every weekend to think about kids, but at 40 or so, things seem to have changed somewhat radically. (They're still taking the occasional e, though, thank god.))
Silvana's super-hero name: The Toastmaster
It was, but then I remembered that the toast was retroactively reinterpreted to mean teh sex.
Also, I just woke up from a fucking dream about Unfogged. What is this, that I should be dreaming about websites?
woke up from a fucking dream
The best sort of dream by far. Bur.. -gg-d? I can't quite see it.
As long as you're up, you may as well listen to the radio.
whoa, despite all the sympathy displayed here for potentially forlorn childless 40 yr olds, anybody telling a 28 yr old they should freeze eggs "if you're STILL single at your age" is just too much.
not just because the comment is obviously going to sting the recipient, but also, factually, it's complete hyperbole. if you are in the right geographic and educational circles, MOST female 28 yr olds are single. and they will eventually have babies. my female friends nearly all fall into the 26-32 category and i can count on ONE HAND the number of them who are married. sheesh. even the one who is currently happily reproducing isn't married. it's NOT A PROBLEM to be single at 28 and enjoy the freedom for a little while.
(of course, i fear a wave of marriages might start to grow in the next year or two...eep)
Stuffy dose notwithstanding, I am consistently impressed by your ability to play this I think are fantastic and things I virulently hate, back-to-back.
I thought the siren-sound was too obvious, and a bit baffling in context.
By "siren sound" are you referring to the stuff at the end of the Jarvinen? I confess: I might not have known it was even there.
I am. I couldn't identify what instrument it was. I thought it strange to do something so obviously allusive in a song designed (or so it seemed) to be totally abstract. The guy was probably so in the clouds he didn't even realize it.
This "Ndio" is fantastic, though! Man! I'm getting all excited because I am going to Kingston Mines tonight. Yay.
I looked them up, and Ian McKellan is clearly in the band.
108- I see your point, but it's not like the woman brought it up completely out of the blue. She was asked about medical procedures, and fertility may be the consuming medical interest of her present or recent past. It may be inappropriate, but she was given an opening. I may be giving her way too much credit, but I see the emphasis being different--she probably assumes someone married would at least be thinking about kids, that for a married woman that thought process would have begun; in someone single, it would not. So I read it as: start the thought process!
That old guy is Hugh Hopper, legendary Canterbury electric bassist, pioneer of fuzz bass and member of the classic lineup of Soft Machine, another of whom, Elton Dean, died just the other day!
Boy, it sure is a good thing these comments can be individuated from each other by the quik-n-easy means of numbers!
And you bring up death, of course, to complete the life cycle on this thread.
Thinking about Dutch Jazz musicians has made me remember this Dutch Jazz pianist I knew for a while when I was young, and had a giant crush on (I think I was 14 at the time, he was 18, maybe?). And no shit, I remembered his name and he's on the internet! Damn.
115 - yeah, i guess i will refrain from indignation since you did ask and, above all, she IS your coworker so it best for your sake to give full benefit of the doubt.
(but, just imagine a barely audible "oy vey!" still going on in the background over here)
It would have to be pretty loud, to be barely audible all the way from Paris.
115- i don't know, ac - lots of single women think about kids. some even have them on their own via sperm donation once they are pushing 37 or 38 and the biological clock starts ticking loudly - a New Trend.
121 virtual sound effects for comments - that would be nice
You have bamboozled it out of me.
75 – I didn't mean that you were telling me to STFU, just that perhaps I should. Not that I'll necessarily follow my own advice on that one, either, Tia (79).
After all, by now you should all know that my two greatest talents are mixing Tom Friedman-esque metaphors and holding a number of wildly contradictory opinions on the same topic all at once.
And, while the egg donation suggestion did come as a shocker, I have drunkenly called dibs on my gay friend Mark's sperm should I need that 10 years from now or so.
I suppose "bamboozle" is more like "bilk" than it is like "cheat"!
I guess you could say that I'm letting Dinosaur Comics have too great an effect on me. I came for the formal niceties—and stayed for the curious kinship I feel with T-Rex!
122- It's an off the cuff remark, how all-encompassing does she have to be? If it's a quick reaction to a question, it's probably based on her own experience.
But really I don't mean to be this woman's great defender, just playing devil's advocate, mostly.
122: The woman made an off-the-cuff response. It sucks to be someone for who that would be an immediate response. I get Becks's shock, but I really don't understand the hostility towards this poor woman. It's not as if she has some sort of magic word power that tranforms her comments into a word fist that will hurt Becks (or her friend) if Becks's friend doesn't follow her suggestion.
I don't feel hostility towards her or her actions. Like I said in the post, I don't think she meant it as an insult or to be malicious. We're still friends and will continue to be.
129: Well, to the extent that there are still a lot of people around telling you you're nothing without a man and babies, I get how it's a magical word-fist; I just disagree that that was necessarily what that woman meant. Since I think the only unambiguously problematic part of her statement was "still", there's not much of a thread to hang her by, IMO.
Hostility is not really the word for my reaction, at least, to the coworker in the story.
The problem in the interaction, I'd say, is that the coworker personalized the comment with regard to Becks; she could easily have made the same suggestion without making it personal.
The point being... I wouldn't want Becks to think she was too sensitive; coworker's foot definitely lodged in mouth.
"She is, after all, in her 40s and without children. Still, it felt like a huge slap across the face.
It's like "I'm glad you're successful and have a fun, happy life that you enjoy but don't forget that you have an expiration date on your ass."
Naw, it's that the expiration date on your ovaries is earlier than that on your uterus. Female fertility starts dropping like a stone after 35. In your late 30s-40s, you can still have a kid, but have to go the egg-donation route, which is essentially like adopting an ovum. You can assume almost all women you hear of having kids in their 40s have done so via egg donation; but they aren't advertising it, understandably.
So unfortunately there's a perception that with fertility technology the age that a woman can have a genetically related child is a lot later than it actually is. The odds of successful IVF with your own eggs are getting down "She is, after all, in her 40s and without children. Still, it felt like a huge slap across the face.
It's like "I'm glad you're successful and have a fun, happy life that you enjoy but don't forget that you have an expiration date on your ass."
Naw, it's that the expiration date on your ovaries is earlier than that on your uterus. Female fertility starts dropping like a stone after 35. In your late 30s-40s, you can still have a kid, but have to go the egg-donation route, which is essentially like adopting an ovum. You can assume almost all women you hear of having kids in their 40s have done so via egg donation; but they aren't advertising it, understandably.
So unfortunately there's a perception that with fertility technology the age that a woman can have a genetically related child is a lot later than it actually is. The odds of successful IVF with your own eggs are getting down
BTW, going on the pill helps to prolong the fertility of the ovaries - less menstrual cycles helps with slowing the rate at which the best candidates for ova are lost.
That's what your cow orker was dealing with, probably, and might have dearly wished that she had some of her ova from her 20s viable and in a freezer somewhere.
(But the technology for freezing ovarian tissue ain't quite there yet, sadly.)
