My estimate would be "too precious by three-quarters."
Shush, Kotsko-- we finally get new content around here and you have to be all critical.
I promise not to reverse DNS you and post your IP
heh-indeedy.
everyone else will be little gits
See, I'm proven right already. I'm such an astute observer of human nature; everyone should be asking me for advice.
So the idea is that people will email their problems to some random person on the internet so that their problems can be ridiculed for the general amusement of readers and commenters alike?
I'm going to genuinely attempt to give advice, if anyone emails me. I just can't control other people.
Do we have to wait for people to e-mail their problems to the Mineshaft to mock them?
How do you decide at what point a request for advice is so pathetic and/or zany to be deserving of ridicule? And at that point, do you post it anyway?
I am going to treat all requests for advice that seem serious seriously. I won't post any request for advice without also trying to answer the question.
If [any of my co-bloggers] want to give advice, they can indicate so in comments.
I'm always willing to give advice, whether you want to hear it or not.
What about an askthemineshaft@unfogged.com address? I don't want to choose between y'all if I want advice.
I'm willing to give advice, too, but I don't know who'd want it. "Hi Becks, I've always admired your ability to be drunk and irresponsible. Can you help me screw up my life, too? And can you teach me how to crash my server while you're at it? Thanks!"
What about an askthemineshaft@unfogged.com address? I don't want to choose between y'all if I want advice.
Dear Armsmasher,
You sound conflicted, which is understandable when presented with such a dazzling array of minds from which to choose. Clearly, you have some serious sorting out of priorities in front of you before you begin dealing with this particular problem head on. I suggest that the first thing you do is a little investigative searching so you can correct your initial error and go bang your mom's friend.
(Although my comment shouldn't be construed as saying this is a bad idea. I think it could be fun. Some of the blegs people have done here have resulted in really interesting reads and this is basically like offering up Unfogged to blegs from the crowd.)
This is, by the way, a good idea, since we're always making fun of Randy Cohen anyway. If no one writes in, we could just answer old Tennis or Savage questions.
It also has the potential to turn into one of those hilarious Onion columns, like "ask a gut-shot cop" or something.
But I get dibs on the syndication rights to "Ask Steven den Beste."
Well, I think this is a great idea, since I've been knocking around a question I thought the Unfoggedariat could answer. Kudos.
I suggest that the first thing you do is a little investigative searching so you can correct your initial error and go bang your mom's friend.
Yeah. 'Smasher's response to said situation really makes me wonder whether he would go with aliens to explore the universe.
I need advice on whether the following example constitutes a reference, or is just naming, and can't remember the Frege translations that I read three years ago.
The following is on the cover letter for an article:
To: Article Editor
From: [Name]
Date: February 27, 2006
Re: "[title of article]"
I enclose for your consideration the above-referenced article which ...
Isn't the author just wrong to claim that he or she referenced the article above?
w/d: no. He referred to the article by giving its name.
17: That's an empirical question, since it depends on the contents of the second video drawer. I keep thinking about Cartman's mom, and it's creeping me the hell out.
As a practitioner, that's standard lawyer-speak. I open four letters a week with:
"Re: Cats v. Dogs, No: 05-123456
Dewey, Cheatem & Howe represents defendant Dogs in the above referenced case..."
20: I've never seen a full episode of South Park; the "Cartman's mom" reference is lost on me.
I've never seen a full episode of South Park;
I hope you've seen the movie, otherwise you missed Labs' awesome "I don't listen to hip-hop" joke yesterday.
the "Cartman's mom" reference is lost on me.
"Mom, if you were in a German schiesse film, you would tell me, right?"
Mixed with your garden variety Vivid Video fare were amateur fetish tapes of what I now understand to be a humiliation subgenre called CFNM.
Soul of Miss Tia, glorify me.
Body of Miss Tia, nourish me.
Blood of Miss Tia, intoxicate me.
Tears of Miss Tia, wash me.
Oh good Miss Tia, excuse my plea,
And hide me in your heart,
And defend me from mine enemies.
Help me, Miss Tia, help me, help me.
In saecula saeculorum. Amen.
Tia: like Mozart, I am a copraphile. Dan Savage, a supposed "liberal", says that copraphilia is disgusting. Does he think that Mozart's Symphony #40 in D Minor is disgusting too?
Do you hate Mozart too, or are you willing to admit that copraphilia is OK?
D**** in S*****
Dear Tia,
I'm trying to start an online advice column/blog. Do you have any suggestions or advice?
Danke,
Curious in C-ville
Crap. You already used "Curious." I amend to "Albeit in Albemarle," which doesn't make sense but neither does setting up your state as a commonwealth.
By the way, damn you Weiner, I now need to come up with a non-insane reason to reject the article.
I'm kidding, we don't reject articles due to bad cover letters. Bad paper stock on the other hand...
Dear Tia,
What paper stock would you suggest I use when submitting my article?
I only answer questions submitted via email.
Also, Emerson, I think the first word of your pseud had one too many asterisks, the second, two.
Dear Tia,
Why must you be such a little bitch?
Dear Ben,
Given the depth of the identity disturbance you just indicated, for you, I will make an exception. Go to the mirror and repeat the following affirmation: I am Ben w-lfs-n. I must be such a little bitch.
28
John Emerson, an error unworthy of you! Symphony #40 is in G minor!
I'm willing to answer anything.
This sounds pretty much like a challenge. And the only honorable response is to accept. We must collectively come up with a question so inappropriate that Tia is unwilling to try and answer it "with tact and sensitivity."
I volunteer to answer any such question tactlessly and insensitively.
I'd like to see Miss Tia tell fortunes, like Miss Cleo.
I've already gotten two really hard questions for the advice column. I'm a bit nervous about what I got myself into.
You know, there's a blogger out there offering to give advice. Perhaps you should e-mail her at ask-meta-tia at unfogged.com.
Let the record show that 43 was posted by me.
This is reminding me of the thing with the djins in Godel, Escher, Bach, except I can't quite remember it.
I find the best thing to say when people want advice is, "I think you should go across the hall and see the social worker."
I'm formulating an answer to the first one already that I think will be at least decent. So I don't need metatia.
On the metatia theme, it just occurred to me that the best scene in a therapy drama is always the one where the shrink goes to see a shrink.
It also occurs to me that I seem to have seen many therapy dramas.
I thought I thought that Intimate Strangers was a good movie, but can't remember most of it, or even if that's what I thought.
My favorite therapy drama is also French: Diary of a Seducer.
Personally, I can't wait for the screen version of Two Edifying Discourses.
Didn't they make that into a sitcom? Two Edifying Discourses, A Girl, And A Pizza Place?
And what about the domestic drama: The Concept of Ironing?
I see nobody's mentioned Fear and Trembling Factor.
Watch women eat maggots on national television, and yet not humiliate themselves—by virtue of the absurd.
I so want to claim to be "Anticipating in Albuquerque," but such a claim would be inaccurate since that's not where I am.
Perhaps I will sign my missive, Stunningly Ordinary in South Orange.