Yes, the title is totally lame but you must admire the restraint it took not to call this post "Dirty Sanchez".
I've thought for a long time that liberals are the main target, not Osama.
Suppose that American Democrats and liberals were totally destroyed politically, but Osama gained control of Afghanistan. I suspect that most conservatives would be very, very happy.
So how does Tia's mom feel about the current administration?
I am not happy to report that, due to a previous ill-chosen pseudonym, I had a post written about me entitled "Dirty Sanchez".
I like Julian's idea; we should refer to the Goldbergs, the Noonans, and the Sullivans as "Butt-sex Republicans." And we should do it constantly.
It's not an uncommon practice to refer to the various Bush apologists as buttboys, bunboys, and bend-over-buddies. But, it should become more common.
4 - Oooh! I like it. And we already have a head start with Santorum.
My mom hates Bush as much as Weiner, but then, if we are to be precise, and remain clear that this is the painful butt sex administration, the love of butt sex, by a receiver, would not signify affection for the president, because the butt sex they had would be much less likely to be painful.
Is this where I explain my theory that the Bush parents gave the shrub to Saudi princes back in his schooldays? Just to show him what life was about, and who is in charge. Suppose not.
we should refer to the Goldbergs, the Noonans, and the Sullivans as "Butt-sex Republicans."
But Sullivan isn't closeted. (And he crossed linesto support Kerry.) Are you talking about a different Sullivan?
One issue that Bush really does push purely to make Democrats mad is Alaskan oil drilling. The oil companies aren't all that excited about it (because there's not a whole lot of oil, because the can afford to wait, and because it might interfere with their real political priorities) but the issue keeps the free-market ideologues all het up.
And the fundamentalists, too, because of the passage in where Mary of Bethany "took a pound of very costly oil, anointed the feet of Jesus, and. wiped His feet with her hair." in John 12:3.
7: Point taken, and my apologies. More of a moderate Republican, perhaps? Oh, I should shut up.
It should be noted that the article which inspired Sanchez's characterization of the administration is utter horseshit. But you all already knew that.
The Bush presidency: deliverance of a nation!
Emerson: Do the fundamentalists then belive that M of B was annointing J's feet with fossil fuel? Seems to me like it would more likely be a plant oil or animal fat. But if they were right, why would that imply that we should drill in Alaska? The more the cost of gas goes up, the more biblical ("very costly") we are. And it's good to be biblical, right?
9: Look we're fightin a war here man, and Sullivan is the enemy. We don't have room to be concerned with niceties of our opponents' sensitivities about their orientations. </whatever>
TMK: Adam Kotsko will explain this to you. I'm not the theologian around here.
My mom hates Bush as much as Weiner
Hey! What'd I do?
Your Mom's sexual tastes must be genitalia-free then. Is that kinky or what?
I so can't wait for Kotsko to show to explain Emerson's version of John 12:3 because that makes absolutely no sense to me. (Also, if you want to exploit every bloody last resource on the planet, there's Biblical evidence that's less, um, obviously pulled out of somebody's ass.)
Young people today are ignorant of the most elementary religious principles.
Genesis 27:11 might clear this up.
Genesis 27:11 might clear this up.
gswift wept.
Psalms 92: 10 also speaks movingly to the question.
But see Jeremiah 24:2.
SB obviously knows something about eating the naughty fig.
This topic, and the existance of this feeling doesn't surprise me in the least. It's the flip side of the feeling I have about Hillery: if they hate her so, she's our girl whether we really like her or not.
This is what partisanship is, what it's made of. It's indispensible, and nothing is more revolting than unilateral disarmament, not on left/right liberal/conservative, where there really are respectable differences, but on republican/democratic stuff.
Hazlitt's Essay "On the Spirit of Partisanship" is the best treatment of this issue ever. I've never found it online.
John is incorrect to attribute the act of pouring perfume on Jesus's feet to Mary of Bethany -- in point of fact, she is not named in the story. There are many women named Mary, however (the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene, Mary of Bethany [sister to Martha and Lazarus], Mary the mother of "James and Joses" [who the fuck those guys are, we may never know]), so there is a good chance that if the gospel writer had named her, he would have named her Mary -- it just seems to have been the female name they most preferred.
John is correct to imply that this unnamed woman used a fossil fuel, probably petroleum, to annoint Jesus's feet. This makes Judas, indignant at the "waste," arguably the first environmentalist.
Also, on the main topic, it seems like one could somehow work in the concept of "reach-around" in coining a anal-sex-related epithet for Republicans. I leave the details to the Unfoggedtariat.
Now, I'm no Christian, but I'm looking at John 12:3 right now and it clearly mentions a woman named Mary (as well as "oil of spikenard"). So I don't understand what Kotsko's talking about in 26.
"Suppose that American Democrats and liberals were totally destroyed politically, but Osama gained control of Afghanistan."
Sure, for some. Because it would be perfectly easy for some to think "once we've gotten those horrible liberal/Democrats that so traitorously and completely prevent our political system from Doing What Must Be Done, we can easily destroy Osama, but meanwhile it's much harder."
And there just might be some lefties who think that it's a higher priority to get rid of Bush/Republicans-in-power because once we do, then fixing Afghanistan/Osama will be vastly easier (and that we can't really fight terrorism while the Republicans are in control of Congress/White House). Just possibly such people exist. Ya think?
Well God fucking damn it. Next time I should look up the passage instead of relying on my faulty memory.
Bad translation, teofilo. The good translation says "#9 sweet Saudi crude".
Gary Farber, I've thought from day one that Bush is a greater threat to me than Osama. I don't see the prolem with that belief. Bush runs the country I live in, and the place where my grandchildren, if any, will grow up. And Bush has a combination of meanness, dogmatism, ambition, ineptness, and unchallenged political control that makes him extraordinarily dangerous.
Without nuclear weapons Osama is a minor threat, and I don't expect him to get nuclear weapons. And I actually think that the major people in the Bush administration agree with me about Osama's threat.
Under certain circumstances Democrats might behave as badly as the Republicans do, but Democrats don't control three branches of government, and the Republicans now do.
Okay, now that John 12:3 is cleared up, what petroleum product passage *was* Kotsko's 26 refering to?
Also, Deuteronomy 3:3 explains a great deal about this website. Pity about that transcription error though.
Jackmormon -- I was thinking of the same one; but there's a similar story, which I believe doesn't involve petroleum products, in which a nameless woman does something similar.
(See, the joke was going to be that I was being picky about one point of biblical scholarship, whereas I was letting the obvious mistake of Jesus's feet being washed by petroleum go. HA!)
Wasn't there some guy who was going to Israel to drill for oil based on a biblical verse which, if translated properly, clearly referred to a vegetable oil?
I think it's a safe bet that any word translated as "oil" in the Bible refers to vegetable oil, rather than fossil fuels.
Adam has let me down.
At the Mineshaft:
JOB 28:4 He openeth a shaft far from the inhabitants of the earth: forgotten of the foot, they hang suspended; away below men they hover.
36: Of course. But I seem to remember there was something in particular about this verse where the word translated as "oil" unambiguously implied vegetable origin. Or something.
36 -- I'm sure the Israelites used animal-fat oil products as well. Would those more likely be translated "lard" or something like that?
Leviticus 24:2?:
Command the children of Israel, that they bring unto thee pure oil olive beaten for the light, to cause the lamps to burn continually.
No, I think it mentioned a particular place, where he was going to get the oil that must be there (since, y'know, God said so and all).
Bible exegesis doesn't work in this kind of literalistic, simpleminded way. None of you are properly trained, so no one can really blame you for your inept, unilluminating readings. The long and short of it is that people who understand scripture on the anagogic level know that this passage tells us that Alaskan oil drilling is a godly task, not to be interfered with by worldly rationalists suc as those who also blame Mary for her pious "wasting" of precious oil on Jesus' feet.
In the same way, John 18:10 tells us that gunownership is a Christian obligation.
While we're talking about weird religious stuff, can one of you nice Jewish boys explain why grocery stores always decorate the Passover food displays with little doilies? Is it because the Passover foodstuffs aren't supposed to touch the unclean shelves? Because sometimes they don't actually line the shelves, they just hang little streamer-ish things.
David Kopel of New Jersey Guns asks, Does God Believe in Gun Control? Long story short, no. (This is the first of over 14,000 Google hits for john 18:10 gun.control.)
Prithee, Brother Emerson, illustrate the steps by which Simon Peter's smiting off Malchus's ear becomes a proof for individual gun ownership, for the proofs will interest me beyond thy ken.
Becks: I assume those are just for decoration, and possibly to draw attention to the foodstuffs thus displayed. And isn't it a little early for Passover stuff? Purim was just last week.
(Also, you never responded to my matzo brei offer later in that thread.)
#43
It's because of the festive, fancy dress look the table is given for seders. The old reform haggadah actually begins with the phrase "The table is given a festive appearance" The dollies represent this.
There you go. Leave it to a goy to have the answer.
45 -- the general lines of the argument seem to be, 1. John 18:10 and similar seem to suggest that Jesus was opposed to deadly violence. 2. But if we look a little closer, we will see that Jesus stopped Simon Peter from killing the Roman because he was concerned about allowing his crucifixion to take place on schedule. 3. ... 4. So we should be allowed to own and carry guns.
"because" s/b "simply because"
47 - Thanks for the answer. I always thought it was an odd choice of decoration as the hanging doilies often obscure part of the labels. They also have Easter stuff out so I guess Passover is fair game, too. If you are ever able to make me your matzo brei, I will make my special Easter deviled eggs in return. They are The Best Ever.
And on preview -- Ah! Thanks Tingley! I knew I gave you that fruit basket for a reason.
I seriously am going to learn how to make matzo brei this year. I'll send you a picture to prove it. No need to return the favor, though; I can't stand eggs. (And yes, I still think matzo brei is the best thing ever. It's just that good.)
I'll send you a picture to prove it.
Somehow, I don't think that's what Becks meant by IYKWIM in the linked comment above.
I can't stand eggs
[shaking head] Am I going to have to start calling you Ted again?
He didn't say what type of picture, eb.
We refuse to buy Passover stuff this far out. We don't actually clean the house of all levened foodstuffs, but we do throw out the bread and take the pasta and cereal and crackers and ramen and everything down to the celler in a box until it's over. We don't buy matzo until just about time, and the 12th is still far away.
Unless digital photography greatly improves in the next year, I don't think a picture would make much of a breakfast. But I suppose it could give you an idea of what's on the menu.
But I suppose it could give you an idea of what's on the menu.
Precisely.
Am I going to have to start calling you Ted again?
Probably. I'm not without my flaws.
Of course, matzo brei isn't exactly much to look at.
Deviled eggs, on the other hand, can be bedeviling.
I always think "festive!" when I see doilies, myself.
In other seasonal culinary news, I'm resisting getting talked into learning how to make peach-lamb koresh for the Iranian new year festival.
My general reaction: honey, if you want to present me with a reason to overcome my prejudices against fruit and red meat, go ahead and cook it up yourself.
Even though I'm the better cook in the relationship (and seriously, how much of that is gender-based?), I have to dig in my heels against carefullly following recipes for foods he craves and I suspect of being nasty.
No, no, peach and lamb is a good combo. Trust me.
Although of course I approve of your insistence that he cook it himself.
Mmm! That sounds yummy...if someone else is making it.
I approve of your insistence that he cook it himself.
Please. Genesis 3:16.
I just returned from eating Moroccan lamb shank with almonds and prunes, and trust me, lamb with fruit is goood. Again, if he wants it, he should cook it as you kibitz, but I'd certainly eat the results.
We do use lace tablecloths sometimes, but I think when the tradition which the Pesach displays in grocery stores adhere to was established, doillies and lace really did represent festive. Up on the North Shore you might not see a display like that, but around my neighborhood there are plenty of poor and lower-middle-class Jews, and the "Spirit of the Ghetto" is easier to imagine.
I'm so curious about it that I think I might cave and cook it myseld. Yet I'm so dubious about it--and don't particularly crave it--that I want him to break my culinary boundaries for me.
I'm just afraid that he'll not rise to the occasion of introducing me to Iranian fruit-meat cuisine. If I don't make it, and I've expressed my skepticism, then he has to cook the dish to combat my skepticism. Tricky, that.
Bu that's one of the reasons I'm agitating for a giant Persian New Year fest: I'll learn to make saffron rice pudding! I already know how to make pomegranite-walnut duck koresh (yum! but very rich). If we make a deal of it, then he can experiment with, and I can try out a peach-lamb koresh without anyone losing face.
I'm so curious about it that I think I might cave and cook it myseld. Yet I'm so dubious about it--and don't particularly crave it--that I want him to break my culinary boundaries for me.
I'm just afraid that he'll not rise to the occasion of introducing me to Iranian fruit-meat cuisine. If I don't make it, and I've expressed my skepticism, then he has to cook the dish to combat my skepticism. Tricky, that.
Bu that's one of the reasons I'm agitating for a giant Persian New Year fest: I'll learn to make saffron rice pudding! I already know how to make pomegranite-walnut duck koresh (yum! but very rich). If we make a deal of it, then he can experiment with, and I can try out a peach-lamb koresh without anyone losing face.
But, you know, it's pretty inappropriate for me to suggest using the Persian New Year for anything, seeing as though last year I wouldn't have known the first thing about the holiday. Ach, dilemmas.
"Gary Farber, I've thought from day one that Bush is a greater threat to me than Osama. I don't see the prolem with that belief. "
I didn't say there was one; I was merely pointing out that I had no problem believing in the existence of many people holding a mirror image of your own views. I'm certainly not going to argue that we're safer with the Bush crowd in charge and that they've been doing a triff job on the anti-terror front, you know.
I otherwise agree with you about Osama.
"While we're talking about weird religious stuff, can one of you nice Jewish boys explain why grocery stores always decorate the Passover food displays with little doilies? Is it because the Passover foodstuffs aren't supposed to touch the unclean shelves?"
That's surely true, but no seriously religious Jew is going to be buying stuff from a non-kosher supermarket, anyway.
"And isn't it a little early for Passover stuff?"
Been in supermarkets here, with the Easter stuff, for at least three weeks, maybe a bit more.
I'm happy to be able to buy some macaroons, when I can afford them. A shame it's so hard to find a real bagel, let alone real lox, around here. (Plenty of bread doughnuts, of course; and Nova Scotia salmon, which the heathen deludedly think is lox [lox being salt-cured, not smoked, of course].) Not that I think there's much market around here for people who know the differences, of course. And I don't think I've ever seen chopped liver for sale anywhere in Boulder, though probably there are places in Denver, I imagine.
If anyone has any leftover deviled eggs, and they're fresh, I'll gladly knosh them. Purely out of altruism, of course.
Another fruit that goes well with lamb is oranges.
pomegranite-walnut duck koresh (yum! but very rich)
Pomegranates are fruits, and duck meat is red.
Pomegranates are fruits, and duck meat is red
Do remember I was raised Mormon, with all the Jello-salad that entails.
High time, then, that you embraced the fruit / meat combo. You're missing out terribly.
For those of you, like me, who are wondering what "koresh" means absent its Branch Davidian connotations, it means "stew". I'm not a big stew fan so that disappoints me. I was hoping you chopped the lamb and peaches together and made a kebab out of the mixture or something.
I'd like to put in a word for vegetable/nut combos.
I was going to wonder that there was something wrong with meat and fruit, but then I found this: "my prejudices against fruit and red meat."
No, definitely not raised by Ashkenazi Jews.
I think that by being raised without reference to religion I missed out on a lot of interesting foods.
I'd like to put in a word for vegetable/nut combos.
Please, let's not refight the Schiavo case.
Do remember I was raised Mormon, with all the Jello-salad that entails.
So this makes you prone to making inconsistent statements? I don't understand.
Gary, we know about your "living in Siberia" problem, but I live in an Orthodox neighborhood, and the 2 big supermarkets in my area are where everybody shops, even if they have vast kosher sections and one has a completely separate kosher deli, with a rabbi on premises, as well as non. "Passover stuff" at most stores is the Maneshevitz line of matzo products, some of which are not actually kosher lo pesach, and the lame matso-based cereal substitutes, sweet wine, etc. All tightly packaged, and not presenting any of the problems meat and dairy do.
I'm willing to embrace it, but I don't want to make it, in case I find it nasty. I'll readily admit that I should be open-minded enough to appreciate what yumminess comes to me, but I'm balking at recipes that suggest combinations that seem a priori nasty to me, who would likely end up cooking them.
(I do think I've won these battle with the relevent parties, but only to the extent that we've shifted the recipe rather than mkaing him prepare a dish I have signaled that I might find nasty. Clearly, what we need is a banquet and unlimited prep time.)
82: Jello is, by its very nature, of an inconsistent consistency. Is it solid? Is it liquid? It is something in between, I declare. It cannot be nailed to a board, of that much we can be certain.
I think you should start mixing your heritages, JM. Lime Jello falafel for everyone!
I don't know about inconsistent with Mormonism, Ben, but my wife fondly remembers hurling jello cubes from high windows in the now-demolished Hutchinson Court dorm towards Robie House. Remarkable bounces are said to have been recorded.
The Jello is nicely bouncy. And it loses its panties in the first five minutes.
What I meant was, Jackmormon's statement that she has a prejudice against the combination of fruit and red meat, followed shortly by her statement of fondness for a combination of fruit and red meat.
84: As a vegetarian who is romantically entangled with a non-vegetarian, I find it's easiest for us to each cook something incredibly elaborate and force other people to come over and eat it all. There was the time a year ago when we decided we wanted gumbo. He made crab and lobster gumbo and I made gumbo z'herbes, and we called people until they came ate it with us. If it weren't for a large network of people in the neighborhood, he would never get to make leg of lamb.
A vegetarian bear? That makes no sense whatsoever.
Well, okay. I can understand that, sort of.
Maybe I could rationalize pomegranites as as seasoning, while the peach-lamb recipe in the book featured gigantic peach chunks in the photo of the dish!!11!
And then, maybe I inherited my Yukon-raised father's wariness towards fruit in general. I'm working on that, I swear.
A shame it's so hard to find a real bagel, let alone real lox, around here.
You can always tell a New Yorker...
Also, 83 gets it exactly right, at least in my experience. Pesach food is packaged, so it doesn't matter where you buy it.
IT'S FUCKING "POMEGRANATE"!!!1!@ Here I tried to be the eensiest weensiest bit more subtle than usual in 74, and I see it paid me no pay at all!
88: The mention of jello and panties in the same sentence is horrifying.
The mention of jello and panties in the same sentence is horrifying.
I just had a thought I'm sure you'd find even more horrifying.
Here you try to be the eensiest weensiest bit more subtle than usual in 98, and I see it pays you no pay at all!
Yes. It involved fruit pectin and vaginal fluids.
Ben, between this and the heart, I think we need to keep you away from foodstuffs for a while.
Jello and panties are in different sentences, B. Or they were until you forced my hand with your trolling.
As long as you don't think you need to keep me away from vaginas.
This would probably not be a good time to mention jello pudding pops.
As long as you don't consider vaginas "foodstuffs."
I'm sure you don't need our help with that, Ben.
106, clearly I don't, else my comment wouldn't have made sense; 107, alas the day.
So I need to get over my cultural squeamishness towards the combination of peaches and lamb, not only because I have previously been proven not to be against the pomegranite and chicken combination but also because my antipathy towards the fruit/meat combination has proven to be logically unsustainable?
Ok, I'll readily be a gracious guest according to that logic. But going out of my way to cook up a peach/lamb dish to dish my palate? I'm still preferring to leave that to others.
In 109: "a peach/lamb dish to dish my palate" s/b "a peach/lamb dish to expand my palate"
So I need to get over my cultural squeamishness towards the combination of peaches and lamb, not only because I have previously been proven not to be against the pomegranite and chicken combination but also because my antipathy towards the fruit/meat combination has proven to be logically unsustainable?
I think he was saying that these are the same thing. Also that pomegranate is spelled without an i.
If we don't see w-lfs-n at the meetup, it's because JM's 109 made him pound his head against the wall so hard his head finally split open.
Oh, but it was worth it.
pomegranite and chicken
You said "pomegranite [sic] and duck". Duck is not chicken, although it's true that my initial thought that duck counts as red meat was mistaken—really it's just that duck is all dark meat.
Still, you should try the combination of lamb and peach. I bet it's tasty!
I was imagining a more Rumpelstiltskin-like end, ripping himself in half.
That does seem more fitting, AWB. Although 113 was suspiciously chipper -- it sounds like it was written from his happy place. Crisis averted...for now?
You couldn't fit a keyboard in my happy place.
There are many types of granite. Surely at least one goes well with duck.
Maybe JM was making Pom©granitas.
106: But abalone are delicious!
108: Fair enough. Cooking something you've never eaten for the first time is probably silly anyway; after all, how would you know if it was coming along correctly?
I'm more than willing to try lamb and peach, oh w-lfs-n of mine; I'm just not willing to cook it, given my whitebread skepticism.
Pomegranate, Pomagranate, Pomegranate.
Ok, I'm halfway to stewing up a full-on Persian feast. For, like, four people. Cooked by a whitebread Mormon from a book. Somebody, please, dissuade me.
How do you get down from a pomegranite tree?
Going for the low-hanging peaches, I see.
At least peaches don't condemn you to six months of hell. Not if you use a condom, anyway.
You couldn't fit a keyboard in my happy place.
Hey, I was talking about keyboards.
Which can, like all good sex toys, be made of flexible, washable silicone.
I'm having trouble believing that the keyboard apo links to is really very ergonomic.
For typing or for inserting into happy places?
123: very carefully?
Or maybe hire some miners to quarry it?
The fact that I don't know either whether people who quarry are miners or members of some other profession or whether quarry can even be used as a verb in the manner I just used it is why Democrats can't win in the west.
Maybe if you have a really thin, pointy stylus.
And get this, w/d: "harriers" aren't the opposite of barbers!
133: You don't. You get down from a duck.
Even more shockingly, farriers have nothing to do with boats, or Titania and Oberon.
Farriers have to do with horses. One can indeed quarry as a verb. Miners do quarry.
Holy disappearing posts, batman!
I'm no longer worried.
I have the sneakiest suspicion that it'll rise from the dead in three hours and fifty minutes.
Three hours and fifty minutes, eh? I'll take that bet.
You're so predictable.
Or should I say...predictible.
I'm tempted to comment on that post here instead.
You know, I haven't yet seen a blog where squabbles and competition between the bloggers themselves were front and center like this. It's so exciting!
Am I the only one who actually didn't see it, but only inferred from the comments here what was going on and, nevertheless, remains quite confused about it all?
Am I the only one
Nope. "Ain't no fun …"
These comments are coming awfully fast.
It's not much of a redaction if you leave your URL in the signature.
Oh, fine. I wrote a post but didn't schedule it to publish until tomorrow morning because I want to go to bed already but want to participate in the comment thread for that post. Check back tomorrow morning for what is sure to be a let down after all of this speculation! Woo!
When the post appears, we all get a kiss from Becks.
157 - The redaction was a joke to go with 154. No comment was actually redacted.
And you'll get a big one right on the lips, Apo.
160: I guessed that. But the URL tempted me to defy the humor.
Becks' favorite pen: REVEALED!!!
Will that be before or after Labs attempts to kick my ass?
140: 139 was a (failed) joke. Otherwise, I, and the Democratic party as a whole, appreciate your insight on these important questions of miners quarrying pomegranite trees.
164 - You have no idea how much entertainment I have gotten out of the mental image of Labs "attempting to" kick your ass.
It's long been my opinion that DC boys are basically an inferior form of east-coaster, and ought to be excluded from generalizations about said coast.
You all are not helping further the "because I want to go to bed already" goal behind scheduling that goddamned post.
It's my opinion that east coasters in general are elitist know-nothings who ought to get their hands dirty working at a ranch sometime.
That was completely worth the speculation.
A shame it's so hard to find a real bagel, let alone real lox, around here.A few weeks ago I made one of my semi-annual splurges to the closest "bagel place," (rather than the supermarket bin "bagels"/bread doughnuts that are only mild improvements on the packaged Thomas' "bagels," and neither of which have even fake salt bagels), to find that, aside from the fact that they were out of salt bagels anyway, and that I still find their product rather dubious (I'm not at all convinced that they actually boil, and I doubt it; they're just nothing like what you can get at a real bagel place in NYC, which I grew up with and still found before I left again in Dec/'01), they had -- along with the other bizarre newage offerings (orange/whole-wheat, boysenberry/chocolate/leprechaun, coconut/pig-bladder/hibiscus-flower, whatever) -- something called an "Italian bagel."You can always tell a New Yorker...
I ask "what's an "Italian bagel"?
"Oh, it's an 'everything bagel'; 'everything bagels' have lots of herbs, you know."
Now, last I was there, eight or ten months ago, they still had "everything bagels," which at least had a combo I was familiar with: onion, garlic, sesame seed, poppyseed, though still lacking in the damned never-found salt.
I don't recall every seeing an "everything bagel" called "Italian" before, but I figure I'll try a couple. What it meant was that it was thoroughly dowsed with oregano and basil, along with onion, poppyseed, sesame seed (and no salt).
You know, just traditional. Somewhere.
And these are the local bagel "expert" specialists. Heathen barbarians.
It's important to remember that I'm living in South Park, with special added university and lots of science institutes. Plus mountains (but that's part of being in South Park).
Lots of choices of varieties of salsa in the stores, though. And a fair number of Thai and sushi places, if one can afford them.
On rare occasion, I'll buy some nova tips, heavily salt them, put them on my pseudo-bagel with plain Philadelphia-brand cream cheese, and try to remember what the real thing tastes like. It's tragic. (Now the supermarkets have "salmon-flavored cream cheese," along with the "strawberry swirl," and the like; it's deeply horrible.)
On the other hand, the Safeway now sells iPod accessories in a vending machine.
Heh. I got stuck in a mandatory training session last week on public speaking, and got tapped to give a 3 minute improv presentation on bagels and cream cheese for the group to critique.
I did three minutes on how when catering a meeting, one must demonstrate competence and understanding by purchasing only bagels in the classic respectable flavors -- plain, onion, poppy seed, sesame seed, salt, everything -- and with the proper well-boiled dense texture. Procuring soft or weirdly flavored bagels would expose you as generally incompentent, and you would lose clients. During the critique period, some easily impressed German associate said "Eet vas like you haf been practising bagel law.:
My mother would procure Thomas' or Lenders "to make us feel at home." when we visited her. No, really, we would say, when we travel we want to eat locally. What's good around here?
Like I said, you can always tell the New Yorkers by their bagel-snobbery. Not that I'm any better, it's just that my snobbery is over Mexican food. I ate at a Mexican restaurant today (which I rarely do, but I came across it and was intrigued) and man was it ever mediocre. Cheap, though.
Oh shit, don't even get me started on Mexican food. I haven't had decent Mexican food in three fucking years. You can't even buy corn tortillas in this hellhole.
Yeah, I tend to avoid it outside of NM (although there are some good restaurants in Arizona and Texas). In the rural Northeast, definitely no.
Even in NYC, it's not good. It's funny, because there are plenty of Mexican immigrants, but Mexican food here is still generally underspiced and lame. There's a chain of Chinese-run Mexican places called "Fresh Tortillas" which are particularly heinous.
Chinese Mexican is a blight on gastronomy. See also: Yummy Taco of Prospect Heights, though I am unfortunately also familiar with Fresh Tortillas.
Mexican in NYC is getting better. There are a few particularly wonderful high-end, hip places (La Palapa, Mexican Radio) and several authentic Mexican takeout joints in Brooklyn.
Languagehat defends Mexican food in NYC, parts one and two.
Even in NYC, it's not good.
That may be the funniest sentence I've read on Unfogged.
That may be the funniest sentence I've read on Unfogged.
In or out of context?
A question for the New Yorkers: does Fox 5 show nightly Simpsons reruns?
According to the ads on the train, yes, at seven pm on weeknights, I think. I don't have a TV, but I do look at the ads a lot and wish I could watch the Simpsons at seven on Fox 5.
Yes, though # per night and scheduling are subject to change with little notice. Or at least they were when I was last paying attention.
182: I'm not sure what you mean by "context" here. I meant only that NYC Mexican food has been, in the past, legendarily bad. It's probably worth noting that when people talk about Mexican food, they normally mean (IME) Cal-Mex, Tex-Mex, New Mex, etc. I don't have a wide experience with real Mexican food, but what little I have suggests that it's often pretty different from any of the above. (And each of the above can be pretty different the other, as well.)
I just meant to inquire if you found the sentence itself funny, or if you found it funny referring to Mexican food in NYC. I see it's the latter.
And you bring up a good point, which I had been considering mentioning; there really isn't such a thing as "Mexican food" simpliciter. Mexico is a big country, and different regions have different culinary traditions. Most of what is called "Mexican food" in this country is actually food from various border regions (Texas, California, New Mexico) rather than from the country itself, although this is changing as the Mexican immigrant population increases. In fact, Mexican food in NYC (or Chicago, or North Carolina, or really most parts of the country) these days is actually from Mexico, which makes it significantly different from places like Taco Bell which serve Mexican-American food of various types. When I talk about Mexican food I generally mean New Mexican, which really is impossible to get anywhere else. You can get good Tex-Mex in Texas. I suspect most Mexican food in California is now Mexican-Mexican rather than California-Mexican, but I don't really know.
I nevertheless stand by my statement that good Mexican food is impossible to find outside the Southwest. If I find any, I'll change my position.
I was responding to a comment about rural NE Mexican food, which I'd presume is generally worse than NYC -- Vermont Mexican doesn't sound appealing at all.
But I'm (snf) glad to have amused you.
Ironically, the main thing I miss about not being in Glasgow is Chinese and Indian food.
Despite the superficially higher level of immigration in the south east of England you get massively better Indian and Chinese food in Glasgow. Or at least, the average standard of cheap Indian and Chinese food is much better -- proper gourmet stuff is more widely available in London than in Glasgow.
And AWB is correct. I am awash in Simpsony goodness.
Just running by and not reading all comments but good Mexican is eminently available in particular neighborhoods of NYC. If anyone's interested I'll post some addresses.
(It is however a project to find lox in NYC. It is available at Zabars, Russ and Daughters, Murray the Sturgeon King, and a couple of places on the Upper West Side and in Queens. Everywhere else you ask for lox and are given smoked salmon. And even at places that have lox you need to specify that you want it rather than Nova.
I remember finding very good pizza in Inverness but it may just have been pizza that I liked rather than pizza that would be considered great by those in charge of the objective evaluation of pizza.
If anyone's interested I'll post some addresses.
Please. I love my adopted city, but as a Californian, I am constantly pained by the lack of good Mexican food in NYC.
"It is available at Zabars, Russ and Daughters, Murray the Sturgeon King, and a couple of places on the Upper West Side and in Queens."
For a while in the Nineties my walk home from work at Scholastic Books to shared railroad apartment on Clinton St. took me past Russ and Daughters. But you neglect to mention that unless Avenue J. in Brooklyn has been nuked in the last year or two and no one told me, there's still real lox (and bagels) there at East 15th St and other nearby environs (Coney Island Avenue).
I thought way back in the thread of pointing out that what most Americans call "Mexican food" isn't Mexican, but figured everyone knew that. Last I looked it was much more hopeless trying to get "Mexican" food of any sort in Britain, though; as bad as asking for pizza (mind, I'm talking turn-of-the-century, so I'm a few years out of date). Of course, it's darned hard to find a double-fried Mars Bar in the States. You'd think there'd at least be a few more fish-and-chips-wrapped-in-newspaper, with vinegar, places over here, though. Maybe with Irn Bru. Hold the brown sauce.
"Please. I love my adopted city, but as a Californian, I am constantly pained by the lack of good Mexican food in NYC."
The question is if the Modesto Kid can find some actual Mexicans living in Mexico to vouch for the restaurants in NYC he has in mind. And if so, living in which region of Mexico?
Gosh, Gary, you sound ultra skeptical that anyone who's not an actual Mexican might know anything about actual Mexican food.
What, Mexicans living in NYC aren't good enough? There are lots of them.
Teofilo -- if you want an excellent tacqueria and can make it out to Corona (in Queens, about 45 minutes from midtown on the 7 train), you should go to La Espiga. Here is Eric Asimov's review of some neighborhood restaurants including La Espiga. Seriously -- great, great food.
194 -- thanks.
196 -- I'll do it a little later or possibly tomorrow. Some other things are calling. But La Espiga would be at the top of the list.
200: Now there are, but there didn't use to be. I don't know why people here hate Mexicans so much, but the few self-identifying chicano students I've had have described a pretty bleak life. And the only people here who hate Mexicans more than the Mexicans do are the Puerto Ricans. Man, they hate Mexicans.
190: Ethnic foods of various kinds were similarly way better in Cleveland. The only Mexican, Indian, and Ethiopian places were fairly upscale, so you were always getting carefully crafted food. In NYC, there are so many bad Indian, Ethiopian, and Mexican places that it's a real hunt to find one that doesn't suck. I have found exactly one great Indian place and I go there all the time.
Oh! if you go to La Espiga don't be distracted by the restaurant of the same name which is on National St. around the corner from 102nd St. It is under the same ownership but is a different restaurant and (IME) not in the same league.
In the threads linked here there are some recommendations. Naturally, I can't vouch for any of them.
teofilo, I'm nodding along with you that good Mexican's tough to find outside the southwest—until you say that "Taco Bell . . . serve[s] Mexican-American food." You're not really counting Toxic Hell as, well, food, are you?
Thanks for the recommendation, MK, but I'm actually not in NYC. The town I am in just falls within the (apparently quite large) range of places where the hotel cable packages carry NY local channels.
That place, btw, is definitely Mexican-Mexican, a category of Mexican that I'm not very familiar with and would be hard put to judge. It does sound good, though.
Of course not, 'smasher. I meant "food" in the loosest possible sense.
Just for Gary, recommendations from a Mexican.
Hey Idealist -- are you coming to the meetup next Weds, in your role as LB's government minder?
How many people are there going to be? Is there a count?
I reject the essentialism of assuming that only Mexicans know good Mexican food, but I totally agree that people who aren't from Mexico or areas close to it usually have no fucking clue what they're talking about, Mexican-food wise.
I know it's wrong, but I love Rick Bayless's cookbooks. That guy really does know his Oaxacan.
recommendations from a Mexican
I thought Ogged was on hiatus.
Bayless is, reportedly, a nice guy, and he totally should have won in the American Iron Chef battle against what's his face, who is an asshole and a cokehead.
Oh, you mean stupid stupid Mesa Grill guy. Yeah, I hate him much worse than Batali.
Oy, you mean Bobby Flay? That guy is not an Iron Chef.
Yeah, I like Batali. Seriously knows his stuff.
Flay seems like a bit of a wanker and a total poonhound.
OK: a couple others off the top of my head. Bear in mind that I don't live in the city anymore and have not eaten at any of these places for min. 3 years. Tacqueria Coatzinga in Jackson Heights, Roosevelt Ave. in the mid-70s like probably 76th, is hit or miss but some of their stuff is just excellent. You will need to eat there a few times before you figure out what is great -- I remember particularly liking their Al Pastor. Lupe, at 6th Ave. and Watts, I loved -- particularly their mole poblano -- but I also knew people who hated it so YMMV. (And I have no idea if it's even still in business.) Tres Aztecas is good, it's at First Ave. (or whatever First Ave. is called after it crosses Houston) and Stanton or so. Here is a thread from 2002 with some recommendations, and if you poke around the site you will find a lot more. There is supposed to be great Mexican food on the Upper East Side like in the low 100s but it is outside my experience.
Yes, we watched the Bayliss/Flay match, first of the new season of Iron Chef America because of Bayliss' Chicago base. Damn near dead heat. Batali is cool. He was funny in Bourdain's show about New Jersey Cousine.
Veiled Conceit does not like Bobby Flay.
Nor does Stephen Philip Quincy Arthur.
Oh -- another neighborhood I have no direct experience of but is supposed to be pretty happening, is Sunset Park in Brooklyn, where the cuisine of Oaxaca is on offer. Here is a report from 2003 by Eric Eto, who is eminently trustworthy in matters gustatory.
There's actually a really good southwestern place in Park Slope. It has the best flan I've ever eaten, but alas, I forget what it's called.
1st becomes Allen, I'll check out if that one is still there and still good in a day or two.
"What, Mexicans living in NYC aren't good enough? There are lots of them."
Their purity is ruined when removed from their native habitat. Like Brooklynites.
Wait, there's more than one Mexican to ask?
Their purity is ruined when removed from their native habitat. Like Brooklynites.
I dunno, you seem pretty pure to me.
BTW Idealist, don't you work in the neighborhood of Grand Central Station? I do. If you want to meet sometime after work, get on the 7 train and make a run out to Corona, I would gladly join you -- reading that Asimov article brought the flavor memories flooding back and now I desperately want to eat some good tacos. (Two very distinctive foodstuffs which I have never sampled anywhere else -- huitlacoche and flores de calabaza -- are respectively one of the tastiest fungi I've ever had and the tastiest flower I have ever eaten, the only flower I know of that tastes meaty.)
I hated Rosa Mexicano. I think the authenticity was the problem.
Let's globalise!
190. I second Matt McGrattan's (I'll call him Gratt for short, and for disambiguation in this Matt-laden environment. Damn, now my parenthetical comment is too long) homage to Glasgow Indian. Some of the best Indian meals I've had were in Queens Park. Or was it Strathbungo? With the added bonus of the doubly incomprehensible Glasgow-Indian accent.
In London I can pay twice as much for food half as good. OTOH at least London lends itself to the following simple culinary rule-of-thumb: if I can afford it, it's no good.
What I want to know is, where's the best Indian in Singapore? Maybe Bill Wang knows.
Oh look at that -- Rosa Mexicano offers huitlacoche too. I have never been there, but from a glance at the review the authenticity there sounds kind of forced and not organic. But that could easily be a misreading.
227 -- Tres Aztecas is still in business. It is however at the corner of Rivington, not Stanton. I posted about it in 1998 -- terse and positive if not exactly enthusiastic; but I seem to recall I went back there a number of times in the late 90's and enjoyed it.
re: 232
If you want to meet sometime after work, get on the 7 train and make a run out to Corona
I do not work near Grand Central, but it is easy for me to get to. An Unfogged Mexican food run would be excellent! E-mail me or, if there is general interest in such an endeavor, comment with your suggested dates/times. I am, of course, unavailable on 3/30/06, because that is the Team Newyorkistan fund raiser.
FWIW: Jetable seems like a great idea - a decaying e-mail address that forwards e-mail sent to it to one's real address, allowing one to initiate e-mail communication and still maintain a layer of anonymity.
Nice to see that the service is also available to speakers of Esperanto.
226: There's a southwest place on 7th Ave. called "Santa Fe Grill" that we refuse to go to because of its horrible mall-restaurant name and decor. Down the street is a good SW place called "Miracle Grill" that is fairly new. It took the real estate of another good (but bizarrely decorated) retaurant that served southwestern food, but I forget its name. Does this jog the memory? A good flan is hard to find.
Is Santa Fe Grill the place on 7th Ave and like the corner of 7th and like Lincoln? My guitar teacher always went there for Margaritas and I never could get the appeal of it beyond the good mixed drinks.
Yes, it's just a block south of there at 7th and Berkeley. I think it's one of the Park Slope places that makes as its primary objective providing an environment for loud spoiled kids while pretending to be a restaurant.
Places with horrible mall-restaurant names and decor can sometimes surprise you by being very good.
Santa Fe Grill on 7th and Berkeley is, however, not a member of the set of places with horrible mall-restaurant names and decore that can surprise you by being very good.