ways to get a goggle tan
I'm trying to imagine the sort of person who would actually want a goggle tan. Like some twisted version of the scrawny kid who searches for "how to get big muscles".
Some of these are great. "are there mistresses in the men's house of yap?" just seems dada to me. "how to deal with pedophile thoughts"? Oh, the pathos! I doubt we helped much on that score. Now, on "assface w-lfs-n," Unfogged may have been a useful resource.
That's hilarious. At least you guys don't get the people looking for ki/dd/ie pr0n the way I do. Or the "fuck my wife, please" kind of hits. Bleah.
"Assface w-lfs-n"? WTF? I'll just assume that was meant for some other w-lfs-n.
And it appears that someone doesn't know that the correct plural of "clitoris" is "clitorides".
I'm just dreading the hits for "menstruation porn bukkkake" that we're going to start getting thanks to this comment and the conversation that ensued. Thanks, Kotsko!
I liked "psychology self humiliation pie". Like humble pie, only different.
bukkkake
The humiliating porn ritual/noodle dish for the racially superior!
Something I never thought I'd write: "bukkkake" s/b "bukkake"
My favorite two search engine referrals ever were "fish blog education" from November '03, and ""get on board" ride the blind conductor prodigal son blues" from last month.
6 - We also had a hit for "clitorious", which amused me.
should i suck tomas' weiner? yes? no?
I love the tag questions at the end.
Also the person looking for pole dancing lessons in Utah. Good luck with that.
13 - Yeah, don't they know that's what googlefight is for?
The result of that googlefight is not what I expected.
Careful correcting BWo. Thew third K was the joke -- hence the "racially superior."
We also had a hit for "clitorious", which amused me.
I had a commenter at apostropher once who went by "The Clitorious R.I.C." I get at least a few hits every month for variations on "how to find a clitorious."
I'm assuming I must have told that story here previously.
loners who have no friends
Isn't that how we all got here?
If "clitoris" were a Latin adjective/adverb, the comparative adverb would be "clitorius", I think.
Clitore, clitorius, clitorissime.
This may not be true.
MMGood, if I parse your comment correctly, Becks was correcting herself.
It's surprising that someone would be aware of the correct use of the possessive apostrophe on words ending with a siblant and yet be cluless as to nature and applicability of search engines.
Are there any words that end with a siblant that don't end with 's'? largesse? But you would never make that possessive. Lattice? "The lattice's weiner." Hmm. I wonder what the rule is here.
19 - You know who has lots of friends? People who answer their email. Just sayin'.
Isn't that how we all got here?
I was looking for ways to defeat catholic terrorism, personally.
I wonder what the rule is here.
If it's a plural <s>, just an apostrophe. Otherwise, <'s>. This person did it wrong.
#23: I don't get it. (I seem to be saying that a lot these days.)
26 - I sent you a message to (what I thought was) your gmail account a few days ago. If you did not get it, email me so I can have your right address and I'll resend it.
Got it. E-mail address as requested: scmtim-@-gmail.com.
Huh. That's the one I used. I resent it.
It's surprising that someone would be aware of the correct use of the possessive apostrophe on words ending with a siblant and yet be cluless as to nature and applicability of search engines.
If one's under the age of thirty, perhaps.
I sometimes have trouble connecting to gmail - like now, apparently. It's like they keep moving something my e-mail client is looking for. But I usually get the stuff later, when I can connect. In any case, I'll check and respond shortly. Tomorrow at the latest.
I was looking for ways to defeat catholic terrorism, personally.
How'd that go, by the way?
Not well. The papofascist threat remains as virulent as ever.
I don't mind confessing complete technical ignorance. Is this a service provided website operators, or something you, or anyone, can get from google by following some process? And these actually represent actual search strings, so far as you know? I understand just putting keywords together, which seems to account for most of them, but still...
I'll add something new for people to search for: "1st Annual 95th Anniversary of the Triangle Shirt Waist Company fire party." Which I was having tonight.
34 - There are a number of sites that offer free services to let you track the number of visitors to your web site, what sites are linking to you, etc. (I like StatCounter.) One of the things they will usually tell you are the keywords people typed into Google that led them to your site. That's what's listed in the post -- these are all actual search engine searches that led someone to Unfogged.
Well, I tried out the first five. Unfogged was never the first hit in the list. Should you have been looking for any of those remarkable objects, other sites would have given you more satisfaction. If you just wanted to talk about them, however...
I'm having boundary issues all of a sudden.
It is only a matter of time before someone does this replacing "ogged" with "Becks."
Last week I got a really sad referring term: "Picture of Jesus Christ that forgive my sexual sin." He was from the Phillipines. I kept imagining what the expression on Christ's face would have to be, or if it would have a caption, or if it has to come in a talking frame.
Ooh, and about an hour ago, "Teen makeout statistics"! My post on wild collegiate makeout parties must have sent their radars flying.
And just since I posted this, we've had:
* what does a musky scent from a girls pussy mean
* 133t bra size
* pictures of girls getting wedgies in thongs
You should take enormous solace in the fact that they spent this week googling you, instead of America.
36: Likely.
45: 133t bra size? that's really a search? I honestly can't figure out what they're looking for, and not because I don't know what 133t means.
I'm impressed. I mostly get idiot kids looking for sneakers. Though I am the quite unlikely number one google result for "the most enormous breasts i have ever seen", admittedly only in quotation marks.
That's funny, JL. I'm the top hit for "show you my massive penis", from an almost 3-year-old post. Second hit? Ogged linking to it.
Huh. That's the one I used. I resent it.
Maybe that's why it won't deliver your email, Becks. Try being a little bit nicer from now on.
* what rhymes with fellatio?
There once was a man named Horatio
Whose talents included fellatio
When his best friend
Fin'ly came to his end,
He said, "May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest".
I think they might have been more than just friends, Ben!
42: glad to
help . Comes with music, too....
Arg, 55 should have pointed here .
Is there a way to game these logs? I'm going to try and get "priest porn" in there.
"I think this difference between men and women is born out by the fact that while the web is loaded with Nun porn, there is a real dearth of Priest porn."
I like the inclusion of a comma in "rimming, altoids"--it looks like the end of a headline.
Isn't that how we all got here?
No, I got here via wireless packet sniffer oink.
wireless packet sniffer oink
Huh. And I thought oinks were only good for sniffing out truffles...
By the way -- I don't generally look too closely at my search engine referrals except when something pops out as interesting, like say "blog fish education" -- but I occasionally notice I am getting a referral from like page 50 or 100 of a Google results set. Why would that happen? Is there some kind of robot that follows popular Google search results?
Internet researchers with more diligence than intelligence?
(randomly clicking to an advanced Google page and randomly clicking a result)
64: Well that was my first reactioin. But I just literally can't imagine somebody (a real person, not a Borges construct) clicking through 50 pages of Google results and following one after another. If Borges were writing today, would one of his ficciones concern Guillermo Pasacràn, a young marketing analyst who becomes obsessed with documenting all 2M hits for mute passing?
jesus. One of my coworkers died over the weekend. No one knows why. I talked to her just last week. She gave me a flyer for a political performance.
Oh dear.
What a rotten thing to be confronted with on a Monday, I am sorry for you, and for her friends and family.
Do you expect you're going to find out? Sometimes this has happened to me, but no one among my coworkers has either had relevent facts or been someone I felt comfortable asking. On the other hand, when something bad has happened to me, a vast train of people I hardly speak to has felt free to ask me for the story, which I've felt obliged to tell because of the curtesy of the question and "works with" always seemed close enough to me to be entitled to an answer.
I came in to work to discover that a sweet old man who I was very fond of, who lives in the housing complex I manage, died over the weekend. But he was 85.
I'm sorry, ac. I wasn't close to this woman, but I did really like her. I think we'll probably find out, at least if they get the answer relatively quickly; I presume the family will be in contact to let us know about a memorial service, etc., so then maybe we'll find out how she died.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Tia. Condolences to hear friends and family.
Oh, it's all right. I didn't know him all that well. And it doesn't give you the same intimation of your own mortality when an old person dies.
Someone was just telling me that he basically stopped eating when his wife died last year.
Sorry to hear that Tia (and ac, proportionately less so).
(that is, I'm also sorry, but... oh hell, you can work out the math)
It wouldn't be age that would bother me, but the I might ever get to a place where I would stop eating.
My grandad died a couple of years ago basically by not eating. I'm very grateful to the staff at the hospital he finally checked himself into that they didn't take heroic measures to keep alive a 92 year-old man who was tired of living.
Well, not eating is different for the very old. When you're ready to die, you feel less hungry; at least that's my understanding. That's one reason why refusing food is a common way for old people to hasten their death--it's not as hard as it would be for us.
Disturbing thought, isn't it. I get worried when young, healthy people casual mention that they forgot to eat: How is that possible? Forget? To eat? Occasionally I forget to focus on meals, but all that means is that I'll be sitting somewhere, realize that I'm chewing, and wonder where the sandwich I'm eating came from.
And Tia, sorry about your co-worker. It is awfully disturbing when a young person dies, isn't it, even if you weren't close.
It is awfully disturbing when a young person dies, isn't it, even if you weren't close.
It sure is. I had more or less the same experience last year (two years ago?), coming in on a Monday to find out a young coworker had died suddenly during the weekend. The whole office was thrown for a couple of days.
Regarding the less serious topic of the post - does it count in the referer log if you have to use "Unfogged" to get from the google search to the Unfogged? Or, more generally, do the connections to Unfogged have to be honest attempts to find information; do the results of gaming not count?
85 -- your question makes some weird assumptions about the meanings of "count" and "not count".
83: It's pretty easy to forget to take a break if you are busy on a project. I've forgotten more than one lunch that way: but it's more like: `i should get some lunch. (looks at time), or make that dinner. whups.'
Unfogged is the 6th result when you google "cock jokes". I think that's a commendably strong showing.
(I'm somehow developing ahabot of commenting on all every thread three days too late. Oh well. I guess I've just been too busy. Don't worry, I'll head to the meetup in NYC in three weeks.)
I'm not sure what ahabot is, but I sure as hell hope I'm not developing it. I am, however, devloping a habit.
The typo in 89 was not intentional, but since it's sort of ironically funny, I'm going to pretend like I did it on purpose.
