Re: Something I did not know.

1

Sexist. But undeniably hilarious.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:40 AM
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2

From here "malkin" is said to be the origin of "merkin"


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:41 AM
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3

And "merkin" is also undeniably hilarious. It's a two-fer.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:43 AM
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4

I manage to avoid MM completely, except in her presence in blogs reacting to her. Where do people keep encountering her and her opinions? If weren't for blogs, I wouldn't know she existed.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:44 AM
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5

If you watch FoxNews for any length of time, you'll see her.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:46 AM
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6

Unrelated, but who the hell falls for this scam?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:50 AM
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7

Wait, that guy wasn't a real doctor?!?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:03 AM
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8

They call me Dr. Love, B.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:13 AM
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9

Wait, that guy is you?!?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:16 AM
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10

On the advice of my lawyers, I decline to answer that question.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:19 AM
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11

But you're about due for a follow-up check, you know. Wouldn't want to miss any of your lumps, your lumps, your lumps*.

*This part included especially for Matt Weiner.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:21 AM
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12

Actually, I'm due for a pap smear.

Is there any less sexy phrase than "pap smear"? I ask you.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:23 AM
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13

One person didn't fall for it.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:25 AM
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14

I haven't looked it up, but wouldn't it mean 'cat' as in 'Greymalkin'? Or as a cat name, is the cat being called a slattern?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:25 AM
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15

"trans-urethral resectioning"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:25 AM
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16

Well, "cat" means "bitchy woman." So maybe malkin / graymalkin have the "woman" thing as background.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:27 AM
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17

No, "trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical. Whereas "pap smear" has the flat a, the double p, and the lovely sound of "smear" in it. Yukko.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:28 AM
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18

A graymalkin is a merkin sold at the retirement home.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:29 AM
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19

Do they have cornrow merkins yet?


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:40 AM
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20

"trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical

Scat queen?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:42 AM
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21

Delurking here, the OED says Malkin as a name came first, then to evolve into "slattern" etc. It was originally a diminuitive of "Maud," or maybe "Mary," and came to be used for "a lower-class, untidy, or sluttish woman."

"Graymalkin" or "grimalkin" probably derived from giving some cats that name.

It also lists the phrase "malkin-mad" meaning mad as a hare (because Scots used the word to mean hare). Perhaps this could be converted into a new synonym for "Malkinesque"?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:29 AM
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22

Not sure. I think the sibilant s, the hard t, and the long e sound make "scat queen" kind of fun and playful, no? Like one of my favorite onomatopoeic phrases, "rat's ass."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:30 AM
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23

And yet "pap smear" and "scat queen" scan the same as each other. Read them together: pap smear scat queen. Pap queen scat smear. Pap scream scat queer. Scat stream spat smear. Scat dream pap's queer. You could go on like that for a long time.


Posted by: The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:39 AM
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24

And: how come I never see the third 'o' dropped from onomatopoeic? Most other English words with an oe diphthong, it gets shortened to 'e'. So I would expect to see onomatopeic -- is this usage standard and I just don't read enough English composition textbooks?


Posted by: The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:44 AM
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25

third s/b fourth.


Posted by: The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:44 AM
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26

O, we love our poesy so.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:53 AM
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27

re: slut, slattern etc. I'm fascinated by the close linking of untidy with immoral in all the traditional meanings. Actually Becks used the term that way(untidy, negligent and incompetent housekeeping) just a couple of days ago, it persists, although I think the culture is in the process of decoupling these concepts. Am I wrong? I don't remember the concepts being linked when I was growing up, but I was a boy, what did I know?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:55 AM
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28

Hey Weiner, this post is totally for you.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 11:55 AM
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29

I had the same experience with Anita Brookner's Bay of Angels I think it was. Anyway, what the commenter said about reading them in The New Yorker. Runaway isn't top-form, so I am unwilling to declare unequivocally that drunkenbee sucks.

Alice Munro has, however, written a few stories that would go great in a mystery anthology that wasn't too purist about form: "Fits" especially (which I found utterly gripping), "Something I've Been Meaning To Tell You," "The Love of a Good Woman."

Aggie.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:03 PM
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30

A lot of my colleagues used the slow transformation of "huswife" into "hussy" as a teaching exercise.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:03 PM
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31

No, "trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical. Whereas "pap smear" has the flat a, the double p, and the lovely sound of "smear" in it. Yukko.

You could instead get a pap schmeer, in which they spread a dollop of cream cheese across your rack.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:24 PM
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32

I invented the word "schmear" as applied to bagel spreads.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:35 PM
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33

Schweet.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:41 PM
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34

Call the Lab Supply place; we're out of Petri bagels.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:44 PM
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35

To Becks and her issue I leave nothing, for reasons I deem sufficient.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:52 PM
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36

But she used a c.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 12:58 PM
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37

C, schmee.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:08 PM
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38

But she used a c

Maybe, but ac told me it was all worth it.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:14 PM
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39

Hey, remember "schwing"?

Ah, junior high.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:15 PM
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40

Hey, remember "schwing"? Ah, junior high.

There are drugs that would allow you to achieve erections again, you know.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:18 PM
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41

Schwing low, schweet schwariot.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:19 PM
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42

40 -- you'd know all about that, I guess.


Posted by: The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:21 PM
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43

42 - Of course. I work in the pharma industry.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:22 PM
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44

Where's that blacklist?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:27 PM
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45

Sorry, I don't know from Schwing. Context suggests a relation to my coinage, U&OEs. Am I right?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:29 PM
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46

Pharma pharma bo barma
banana fana fo farma
fe fy mo marma
Pharma!


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:31 PM
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47

Hello, nice site


Posted by: Schwing | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:34 PM
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48

By what criteria would schwing evaluate a site as nice?


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:35 PM
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49

Schwing!


Posted by: Ñongratulations! | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:37 PM
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50

Is anyone else mildly creeped out by the new Cialis commercial, where the nice elderly couple is about to dash upstairs for some beautiful pharmaceutically-enabled love-making, but are interrupted by the doorbell? And it's their children and grandchildren? And so they have to go hug their family and play in the yard, and the whole time, I'm shouting at the TV, "Does no one notice grandpa's erection?!"


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:39 PM
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51

Is anyone else mildly creeped out by the new [redacted name of erectile dysfunction drug] commercial, where the nice elderly couple is about to dash upstairs for some beautiful pharmaceutically-enabled love-making, but are interrupted by the doorbell? And it's their children and grandchildren? And so they have to go hug their family and play in the yard, and the whole time, I'm shouting at the TV, "Does no one notice grandpa's erection?!"


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:40 PM
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52

hello,
diet-schwing-epoxy


Posted by: mihsom | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:41 PM
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53

I don't think I've seen that one; you might try the slash delimiters style of disguising, at least from mechanical searches, what drug you're talking about. I've never seen humor in ads for such products before. The Cialis adds have a pleasant way of making lovemaking between older people attractive, but not funny.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:43 PM
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54

I don't think I've seen that one; you might try the slash delimiters style of disguising, at least from mechanical searches, what drug you're talking about. I've never seen humor in ads for such products before. The Ci/ali/s adds have a pleasant way of making lovemaking between older people attractive, but not funny.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:44 PM
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55

ac told me it was all worth it

As long as it didn't involve a pap smear, it's ok.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 1:50 PM
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56

53 - This installment of Dating Advice from ac was brought to you by Eli Lilly, the market leader in schwing enhancement medications.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:08 PM
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57

52: Oh absolutely, the rest of the ad is lovely, and the nice couple goes for drives to scenic lighthouses, and they relax side by side in matching copper bathtubs and watch the sun go down, and he reaches over and gently takes her hand, and thanks to the C-drug you mention above, he'll be ready, whenever, and that's all just peachy.

But... the grandchildren! Weird.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:32 PM
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58

55: Oh, right! I remember the ad now, the implication being that the drugs that just immediately spring the schwing have drawbacks.

But... the grandchildren!

"Hooray! Grandpa's ready for horseshoes!"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:36 PM
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59

I guess it's the same ad I have seen, but I never picked up on that before. Guess I never knew that the effect was as direct, as U&OE as this discussion implies. I was under the impression that the selling point was that it was not like that, merely shall we say, enabling.
We're all a bit young to have experienced this; what says big Pharma?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:46 PM
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60

That's the point of the ad: that their drug enables schwinging when you want it, not just uncontrollably for the next couple of hours, like their unnamed competitor drug.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:49 PM
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61

The only person I've talked to who's admitted to using Viagra was this one guy a roommate met on Nerve.com who worked as a pharmacologist and sampled every drug that the company made. He was very very thin, so the Viagra made all the blood rush out of his head into his penis and he lost consciousness immediately. When he came to, IIRC, he had a gigantic erection and a blinding headache.

I could see how a more, um, sensitive? formulation could be marketable.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:59 PM
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62

V What
I drug
A would
G you be
R talking
A about, Apostropher?


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:01 PM
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63

Surprised 59 got through; has the term become generic?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:05 PM
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64

spring the schwing

Not schpring?


Posted by: ogmb | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:38 PM
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65

This installment of Dating Advice from ac

I also suggest staying away from coffee enemas. At least on the first date.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:58 PM
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27: PK has a book of supposedly traditional Chinese rhymes, one of which is:

The tidy woman sweeps the floor,
She sweeps the dust all out the door,
Her little home is always neat,
And filled with happiness, and sweet.

The lazy woman something something, which ends with she has pigs in her house.

Ironically, though, in the accompanying illustration, both women are smiling.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 7:16 PM
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Yeah, but the woman with the pigs has nothing against her morals, does she? I think my guess is that lazy girls were presumed to be tempted by a life of sin because of their loathing of housekeeping, analagous to the boy, like Galbraith said the farmers in Ontario said during WWI, who was "tired of doing chores." The behavior threatens the social order.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 7:54 PM
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68

Well, in the poem her household is disorderly and unhappy. I don't think it's implied that she's a slut, though.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why the old guy in Oklahoma doesn't want any pig-worshippers.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 7:59 PM
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Good housekeeping is an essential part of civil defense preparedness. Wouldn't you rather live in The House in the Middle?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:03 PM
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He was very very thin, so the Viagra made all the blood rush out of his head into his penis and he lost consciousness immediately. When he came to, IIRC, he had a gigantic erection and a blinding headache.

That sounds bizarre. Surely the guy must have had an erection before without losing consciousness? And I don't think Viagra produces an erection by itself, either -- my understanding is that the person taking it only gets an erection if he's sexually aroused by something.


Posted by: Frederick | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:56 PM
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AMG only gives Merkin 2 1/2 lousy stars, but it is a much better piece of soft psych than that.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 9:22 PM
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Well, the way I was raised slovenliness and immorality were inextricably bound. But promiscuity and immorality wasn't.


Posted by: David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 9:30 AM
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Surely the guy must have had an erection before without losing consciousness?

Not everybody possesses your superhuman powers, Frederick.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 9:41 AM
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I remember hearing a story of the oversized(tm) passing out, and needing reduction surgery to correct this, but I've never seen this written up. The vi/ag/ra story seems implausible, unless the guy wasn't otherwise having erections.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 9:53 AM
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75

Maybe he was exaggerating. It was his second or third date with my roommate and the story came up during dinnertime "So what do you do?" kind of chitchat. The way he told it and I remember it, though, he was just sorta sitting around at work, took the pill, and passed right out. But maybe there was some wanking involved.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 10:28 AM
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76

But wanking shouldn't matter, unless I'm wrong that these drugs merely enable erections, not make them bigger/draw more blood. I suppose he might have been boarderline due to the thinness you mentioned, so that if there really is a difference in engorgement it could happen. I defer to the experts.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 10:53 AM
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