Re: Weird scenes inside the paste mine.

1

I have no idea if this is objectively true

Seriously, Jonah, one Stephen Colbert is enough. Get a different schtick.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 6:45 AM
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Oh, god! His concluding sentences are too good to be true!

Anyway, there's much I don't know here. But I think it's interesting.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 6:49 AM
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It seems like a disproportionate amount of bloggers who baldly make up facts to suit whatever bug is lodged up their ass are right-wing. I have no idea if this is objectively true or simply a result of the asylum only allowing them limited keyboard access, giving them precious little time to research. But it strikes me as interesting nonetheless. If it's true -- that pulling facts ex recto is a primarily right-wing activity -- then this might tell us something about the underlying, drug-addled impulses driving their behavior. If, on the other hand, it's just that the right-wing asylum has poorer internet access than the left-wing asylum, that might tell us something, too.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 7:27 AM
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JG has clearly studied under the tutelage of many of my 18-year-old freshmen English students. "In today's society," they argue, "we as humans have difficult decisions to make, physically, mentally, and socially. For example, many people think that you can be whatever gender you want when you grow up. This is not true. When you're born, didn't they give you a blue or pink blanket?" Ah, the wisdom of youth!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 7:40 AM
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"Through all of human history, mankind has wondered about the 'big' questions: who am I? is there a God? Now that such philosophy has vanished in a puff of logic(!), we can turn to more interesting questions, like whether the gender of college professors is socially determined.'


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:00 AM
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Maybe it's one of AWB's students who responded to Jonah:

"There are excellent reasons why academics are prone to desires for sexual reassignment. The whole deconstructionist/poststructuralist ethos has bled down throughout the humanities and soft sciences, covering the whole mess like some sort of sex-change magic shell."

Mmm. Magic Shell.

Or maybe Jonah is one of AWB's students:

"I recently had the misfortune of reading a lot by and about Charles Reich — author of metaphysically idiotic The Greening of America — and I think he's probably a very good example of this phenomenon. He was a weird, weird cat. His sexual confusion was profound. And, I think his weird arguments and ideas had a lot to do with his sexual alienation."

"My teacher made me read this book by this guy. The guy was weird. The book was weird, too. My teacher is weird. I think weird people are weird."


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:11 AM
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The magic shell simile, on the other hand, is very strong phrasing. Kudos to "A couple readers."


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:18 AM
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A bleeding magic shell, at that. Or has the blood coagulated?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:24 AM
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An academic's magic bloodshell condenses/coagulates with the conferral of the doctorate degree. At that time, the chocolate-covered, blood-caked entered apprentice presents its gender. (Cf. Cremaster 3)


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:31 AM
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The shell is made of coagulated blood, so not bleeding (but possibly being bled on!). Also, no word as to whether the magic comes from the blood, or is inherent to the coagulation process.

Oh man! But the humanities are being bled through. The shell is both surrounding and suffusing the academic disciplines. I'm gonna be going on about this for hours.


Posted by: Moleman | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:32 AM
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It's actually true that, since receiving a graduate education, I have slowly morphed into a multiply-gendered entity. I have also slowly morphed into a part-bird creature. You can see how feathers are growing on the undersides of my upper arms. Plus: talons. The instant all that deconstruction shit gets on you, it's all over for being a human woman.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:42 AM
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A White Bear, revealed!


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:54 AM
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Do you know what's really yummy? Magic Shell milkshakes. Make a vanilla milkshake in your blender and then right before it's done, pour in some Magic Shell while it's still blending. So, so good. This is also known as the off-the-menu "chocolate chip milkshake" at Dairy Queen.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 8:56 AM
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A White Bear should hook up with Chris.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 9:05 AM
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Given the turn this conversation has been taking, I should make the following public service announcement:

Friends of Buck's once attempted to use Magic Shell while having sex, pouring it over the relevant body parts. They found that as Magic Shell hardens, it shrinks. Painfully. Very painfully. Do not use Magic Shell as a sexual aid, unless intense pain is a desired goal.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 9:33 AM
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Honey, lick faster dammit!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 9:37 AM
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AFAIK, honey isn't a problem.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 9:41 AM
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Friends of Buck's once attempted to use Magic Shell while having sex

That will definitely get you thrown out of the Dairy Queen.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 9:49 AM
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AFAIK, honey isn't a problem.

I beg to differ.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 10:30 AM
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20

You have reason to believe LB knows better?


Posted by: michael | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 10:50 AM
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21

The Chicken Lady: Clearly into Judith Butler.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 10:58 AM
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AFAIK, honey isn't a problem.

Not that it's my cross to bear, but, but hello, yeast infections?


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:12 AM
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The fact that academia won't necessarily fire you if you do gender reassignment surgery probably means that Jonah could be right about the greater amount of sexual reassignment in acedemia without it having much to do with deconstruction or anything.


Posted by: Joe O | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:12 AM
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Hay, all I meant is that honey doesn't shrink painfully when applied to one's bits. You want a full rundown of the health risks, write Dan Savage.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:15 AM
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Hay is itchy.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:15 AM
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Hay is for horses.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:16 AM
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That's good enough for me.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:20 AM
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Hay is itchy.

Beats palm leaves though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:22 AM
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O. M. G.

Jonah Goldberg Madlibs.

We've discovered his secret. You can do it with anything. Viz:

It seems like a disproportionate number of the people who undergo Magic Shell Sexual Mishaps are friends of Becks. I have no idea if this is objectively true or simply a result of Unfogged coverage. But it strikes me as interesting nonetheless. If it's objectively true — that friends of Becks are overrepresented in the ranks of the Magic-Shell-maligned — then that might tell us something about the underlying, overly chocolatized, impulses driving the decision. If, on the other hand, Unfogged has simply chosen friends of Becks to be the poster-persons for this practice, that would be interesting too.

Now try it with:

I think I could play this game all day.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:36 AM
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Seriously, did someone really say this with a straight face?

There are excellent reasons why academics are prone to desires for sexual reassignment. The whole deconstructionist/poststructuralist ethos has bled down throughout the humanities and soft sciences, covering the whole mess like some sort of sex-change magic shell.

But the metaphor is misinformed. The offending ethos is characterized-- which is not to say that its *essence* is constituted-- by the free play of signs unmoored from *logos*. It is Magic Shell perpetually in its fluid state, resisting any attempt to codify or "make (f)rigid" its structure. The hardness of this academic Magic Shell Game is a perpetual possibility, yet it is never realized.

I would do a better job at this sort of comment if I were Kotsko.

Almost not in jest, I can't imagine that there is some amount of reading Judith Butler's prose such that, faced with a choice between
(a) stop reading
(b) have my own penis cut off at tremendous expense
I would choose (b).


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:36 AM
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(b) have my own penis cut off at tremendous expense

You just missed the boat, mon ami. We used to have a place right here in NC where you could get it done on the cheap.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:40 AM
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30 -- are there any authors that would meet that test? It would make a great quote for the dustjacket -- "Reading Coetzee is worth having your penis cut off at tremendous expense! says William Bunter of the Anaheim Gazetteer"

Am I misreading some level of negation in your comment?


Posted by: The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:45 AM
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Almost not in jest, I can't imagine that there is some amount of reading Judith Butler's prose such that, faced with a choice between
(a) stop reading
(b) have my own penis cut off at tremendous expense
I would choose (b).

Yeah, I *really* can't imagine that. I also think I can't parse that construction correctly.

On preview: What TMK said.


Posted by: Tarrou | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 11:47 AM
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29 - "Friend of Becks" makes me think of "Friend of Dorothy", which, given the men in my life, is probably a pretty accurate euphemism.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:00 PM
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McManly,

I love the Jonah Goldberg Madlibs you propose (or is it describe?) in 29. I doubt that there's much of a market for it, but I would love to see a paper version of this for party games.

I also totally want to play War on Terror, the boardgame. (Via My Alter Ego Speaks). So, pre-order your copy today.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:03 PM
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I wonder how often Jonah wonders why the media interview college professors generally. Is it a secret plot? Or is it just that if you want to know about evolutionary biology, it might be good to talk to an evolutionary biologist?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:14 PM
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Wouldn't it be funny if Jonah Goldberg the author really were as much of a doofus as "Jonah Goldberg," the fictional character appearing at NRO? If someone actually thought that sex-change operations were motivated by "overly intellectualized impulses"?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:36 PM
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I know I'm violating a sacred Unfogged custom here, but this whole Magic Shell Sex thang kind of puts a whole new spin on the phrase "There was shrinkage!"


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:47 PM
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The obstetrician that delivered PK was a mtf transsexual. It seems like a disproportionate number of the people who undergo sexual reassignment are obstetricians. I have no idea if this is objectively true or simply a sample size of one. But it strikes me as interesting nonetheless. If it's objectively true — that gynecologists are overrepresented in the ranks of the sexually reassigned — then that might tell us something about the underlying, overly medicalized, impulses driving the decision. If, on the other hand, the media has simply chosen crotch docs to be the poster-persons for this practice, that would be interesting too.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:53 PM
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Crap, "the media" should have been "I."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 12:55 PM
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When women discover that, not only are gender roles constructed, but that science has even rendered biological sex mutable, there will be a terrible run on penises as they—the women—all sign up for envy-quenching female-to-male reassignment en masse.

Where do you think they'll get all those penises, people?


Posted by: Gonad Joelberg | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:03 PM
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Crap, "the media" should have been "I."

Would that it were so, BPhD, would that it were so.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:03 PM
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All bitching, all the time.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:22 PM
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terrible run on penises

I hate run-on penises. Find somebody who's had a colostomy and put their semicolon to good use, I always say.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:25 PM
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Or at least a woman with a period.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:28 PM
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Where do you think they'll get all those penises, people?

They will start culling the hyenas, I imagine.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:29 PM
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Where do you think they'll get all those penises, people?

What I find most interesting is that what Goldberg is trying to do is not to slander transsexuals but academics. In his mind, those who get sex-reassignment are already unquestionably scary and weird. He's trying to use that to paint academics with the same brush, making academia seem, by association, to be freaky and odd and unsure of itself, malleable in a way that he finds threatening and hopes his readers will also find threatening.

That's what fascinates me - not that he finds gender-correction to be distasteful, but that he so fears an informed and educated mind open to new ideas that he's willing to try some sly little word game to equate the two in hopes his audience will come to revile academia with the same passion they normally reserve for teh freeks.

Also, Bridgeplate's "Gonad" character's summary is just hysterical, and I love it.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 1:44 PM
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Those crazy academics and their puerile interest in sex. (Warning: dig deep enough into the links on that site and you'll see titties! OMG!1!)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 2:01 PM
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their puerile interest in sex

Ahem. We've been over this, B.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 2:07 PM
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And you've seen my response.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 2:16 PM
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51

However.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05- 9-06 2:35 PM
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It needs to be said that Kriston's 9 is a marvel.


Posted by: David Weman | Link to this comment | 05-10-06 3:28 AM
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51: Hey, I'm a girl. I reserve the right to be illogical and inconsistent.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-06 11:39 AM
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Hey, I'm a girl.

Oh really?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-06 11:46 AM
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Apo, did you read 53?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 05-10-06 11:58 AM
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Yeah, that was what struck me as funny. Can an inherent trait truly be designated a reservable right?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-10-06 12:02 PM
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