if you guys really loved me you'd comment on this thread.
It's still morning over there. Cut them some slack.
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
You know I appreciate the information in point #1, but I think it could be presented in a more compelling fashion. We need a tournament in which people get knocked out by the spiciness of the food. It's probably preferable if it's painful.
"drug education" frequently backfires. "They said I would be a junkie by now but I'm fine?! They lied about PCP!!! and so on.
This is something that worries me somewhat, as a specialist in the epistemology of testimony. Tell people a bunch of bullshit about sex and marijuana and things like that, and why expect them to believe you about drugs that actually are dangerous? Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Ah, drug education. Officer Wilson told me in D.A.R.E. that everyone who did cocaine once got addicted immediately. I fantasized about making my "Pledge to Stay Drug Free" an essay about why I was not going to be instructed to make promises about my future by government propagandists, but I wussed out.
I remain very grateful that my drug and sex education in high school was taught by a crazy Latvian psychoanalyst who believed in providing us with the most accurate scientific information then available. She talked about abstinence, sure! 100% effective! but also in embarrassing detail about contraception and STDs. She talked about artists and philosophers taking psychedelics in the 1960s--who however often found that their paintings and writings made no sense when they sobered up. She smoked cigarettes with a special tar-reduction filter out behind the science lab, and she always admitted upfront that she was addicted and that it was going to kill her. An extraordinary woman.
And yeah, a lot of people did pot and psychedelics soon after taking her class (not Mormon me!), but as far as I know, very few were doing harder drugs, which should count for something, right?
I think the reason it usually takes Alamedia's threads a while to get hopping is that the general reaction is "damn, well, how could I ever hope to top that?"
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
Another good plan is to get drunk on grappa on someone else's dime.
The problem with that plan, wolfson, is that grappa tastes like ass-flavored jet fuel.
Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Metaphor, Matt. Metaphor. Children also know that their stuffed animals aren't really alive, but it's unwise, cruel even, to point that out to them when they're worried about one being lost, having hurt feelings, or whatever.
The things you learn when trying to put out jet fuel fires in your ass with your mouth...
Bphd, next thing you'll be telling me that children know that their rabbits and dogs didn't really get sent to a farm. But this is not so.
Grappa's good, just not good enough for how much it costs. So ben's plan is a good one, assuming the other person making free with the dimes is pleasant (enough) company.
Also, think what dsquared meant was that Bourdain's speedballs lacked a certain BAM!
Grappa's good
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty," then I agree wholeheartedly.
12: No, sadly, they believe that one.
One of the more traumatic events of my childhood is that my dad took my cat's two remaining kittens "to a farm" on my birthday. My kindergarten teacher, to whom we'd given the third kitten, lost it and like a total dumbass, actually told me.
God. Now I'm going to have a good cry. Thanks a lot for bringing that all up again, Matt.
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty,"
We're not talking about you, good apoostropher, we're talking about grappa.
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
So kids believe the "went to a farm" stories but not the Santa Claus stories? I'm skeptical.
Yeah, well, I don't even really know what grappa is. So there.
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
Hey, wait a m--
Oh, yeah, you're right.
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years. PK does. He got angry last year b/c some little girl at his school told him Santa wasn't real. But, as PK says, "she believes in God, and everyone knows God's not real. But Santa is."
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor. It's not like a *horrible* secret, the way killing children's pets on their birthday is.
I was down with the grappa, but I sure wouldn't have paid what it cost.
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor.
How do you know this if PK still believes in Santa?
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
Maybe they save the ass-flavored jet fuel especially for the tourists.
Speaking of lowrent, I'm really worried that a bunch of LGM readers are going to come over here and lower the tone of the place.
re: 26
I admire the cunning use of italics, since everyone knows the under 10s can't read italic fonts ...
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years.
It got tricky when I tried to explain that Santa was trapped in the woodstove, so that's when I had to just tell the truth.
I also don't know what grappa is.
Grape liquor.
After you press grapes for wine, all the residue (including stems and seeds) gets used to make grappa.
Pomace, baby! Some people make grappa from the whole grape, though.
I have tried the mythologized grappa, ouzo, and the famous Turkish rak?, and found all of them unpalatable.
Internal Server Error
You mean you puked?
What's wrong with you people? Ouzo and raki taste pretty much exactly like pastis, which is anise-flavored deliciousness in medium quantities on hot days. Grappa, especially when someone else pays for it, is also quite nice.
Now, thinking through spiffy liqueurs I know and like, I'm making myself thirsty for some Calvados, which I really can't afford.
My mother was sorely disappointed when I launched into an explanation of how the whole North Pole thing was simply not feasible, and I was five or six years old. I remember my justification involving a lot of talk about how hard it would be to get food there to feed the elves, or something; something about the economics of it. But, I did get that it was just a fun story. There was no trauma there.
Calvados isn't a liqueur. If you can find Laird's bonded apple brandy (not Laird's applejack, which is blended), it will stand you in good stead, for something like $20.
Maybe my thing is just a dislike of liqueurs generally. Though I like interesting cocktails.
I hate to admit that you're right, Wolfson, and thanks for the suggestion.
It's weird, Drymala, I've become more and more conservative about cocktails and will probably not venture forth from the slightly dirty vodka martini in only a few years. The "interesting" ones seem to be so damned sweet. The first time I had an apple martini--late in the trend, I'll admit--I nearly gagged. What do you recommend I try to reverse my stodgifying trend?
Go retro? All the phony martinis are incredibly sweet, but there are lots of out-of-fashion cocktails that taste good. I'm fond of Manhattans, and gimlets, and rusty nails, to name some.
A plum saketini was the most memorably yummy alcoholic drink I've ever had. The plum pit was floating in it. Mmmm. I think the club was Paisely; this was a few years ago though; I don't know if they still have them.
No such thing as a "vodka martini".
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
I've been, possibly based on a recommendation here but I think based on reading some book or other set in the 30s, been drinking sidecars lately.
Yeah, I guess I don't mind the sweet when I'm experimenting. VYNL and Vintage (conveniently located across the street from one another!) have good cocktails. Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city. I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour. I like a sweet/sour combo in a cocktail. After Wolfson posted about it, I had a sidecar at Blue Mill Tavern, and I enjoyed it, and I might order it again, though it's not really my kind of cocktail.
I like South American drinks -- piscos and mojitos (I guess that's Cuban). I dunno. If I'm in a restaurant with a particular regional cuisine, I like to stick with a drink from that region to enhance the experience, even with beer. Beyond that, I just pick what sounds good.
For me, stuff like whiskey is way too sweet. I can only drink whiskey in a whiskey sour.
I did just realize that I'd named three fairly sweet drinks -- the sweetness of whiskey doesn't offend me like the sweetness of an 'appletini', in that at least it's complex.
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
I'm so glad I don't have pets.
48: It's my opinion that if you (or I, for that matter) were to go to a bartender and ask for a martini, and no qualifying information were subsequently exchanged, there would be at least a 40% of it being made with vodka.
49: been
There's at least one new-fangled martini I like.
Ginger martini? Back when I was a girl you would have ordered a Moscow Mule and liked it.
(You probably would have, they're delicious. Can't get them hardly anyplace though -- no one has ginger beer.)
Your average sour mix is way way sweet, though. (True story! A whisky sour was the first alcoholic drink I ever tasted. It's never really tasted good to me since.)
I've eyed the sidecar on some menus, but it looks awfully sweet. I think your advice to go retro is good, though, LB.
I've enjoyed some vodka gimlets when they were well made. Okay, I enjoyed way too many vodka gimlets at a very expensive place once when someone else was picking up the tab and have looked at them with some trepidation ever since.
ONE mojito is good.
The concept of a saketini is intriguing.
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
I recommend the Old Fashioned if it's made correctly. Unfortunately, it's almost never made correctly. If the bartender says "a WHAT?" when you order, switch to something else.
And Standpipe gets it exactly right. Especially galling is when I order a martini and the sorry-excuse-for-a-barman behind the bar asks, "Any particular kind of vodka?" The proper response is something along the lines of, "I don't know. What do you think would go well with your liver and some fava beans?"
Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city.
"martini" s/b "candyass-drinks-that-come-in-martini-glasses-for-some-reason"
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
Ass.
Someone tried to serve me a "Hudson martini" last night. I asked what was in it, and if I remember correctly the primary ingredients were rum and blood orange. I asked if the only thing that made it a martini was the glass it was in, and was met with a pretty blank stare.
And while we're on the subject, James Bond is an idiot. A shaken martini comes out all cloudy and watery-ass. It should be stirred quickly just to chill it, you don't want to melt a lot of the ice.
The only real reason to shake a cocktail is to make it frothy. And anyway you're not Tom Cruise. Lots of old classic cocktails contained an egg or eggwhite, and they froth very nicely when shaken. But there's nothing in a martini to froth.
vodka gimlets
Is there no end to your preversions?
Also, as Jackmormon notes, most bars err way too much on the side of sweetness when they make things such as Old Fashioneds, Sours, Collins, etc. The main reason for this is that instead of fresh fruit and/or fruit juice, they use bottled mixes which, in addition to being too sweet, often have a cooked taste and just plain aren't very good.
I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour.
Sounds awesome, though I will happily concede that it is not a martini. As does whatever LB is talking about in 54. I've often longed for an alcoholic ginger beer drink.
Go here before trying to reason with me.
All a Moscow Mule is is ginger beer, lime juice, and vodka (hence, Moscow). I don't remember the proportions offhand, but it can't be terribly sensitive. I've read that they're supposed to be served in frosted copper cups, but I've never been in a bar that had such available.
Hm, I simply could not get into the site to reply to M/tch's calumny for a while. Wikipedia had an article (redirected from "vodka martini") explaining that, while the trend in the last twenty years has been towards mixing with vodka, sanctimonious purists hold that there is no martini but gin martini. I lost the url during the "waiting for Unfogged...." business, though. Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Is there no end to your preversions?
We could find out together, Standpipe...
60: (search for "Bond" on the page).
Let's try that again.
60:Thanks, President Bartlet (search for "Bond" on the linked page).
Part of the downside of calling all these things "martinis", besides the fact that it's just wrong, is that little or no thought goes into the names. Adding a "baked" before "apple" is about as imaginative as it gets.
And as some old commenter once said, cocktails invented after about 1950 or so are to be regarded with deep suspicion. People back than drank a lot more than we do, and they knew what they were doing.
I tried to brew my own ginger beer once, following a highly recommended internet recipe. Maybe there was a step I missed, but I could taste the yeast fermentation in the final product and it was gnasty. Other people I served it to liked it, though, despite all my caveats; they even accepted liter-bottles of the stuff to take home!
There's a Carribean place on 14th, about a block east of Union Square, that has wonderful homemade ginger ale (a little too sweet for me). It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Then you have no business ordering a martini, madam.
67,68: Well I'll be. I never watched that show much, but the few times I did I thought it was pretty well written, almost annoyingly so. Anyway, now I want to go drinking with Jed Bartlett. I'm sure he'd pay for everything too, that's just the kind of classy john guy he is.
You brew ginger beer with yeast? I thought it was basically extra-spicy ginger ale.
The first line of 71 should be in italics, as it's a quote from Jackmormon.
Also, I think the frosted metal cups thing for some drinks (I'm thinking particularly of mint juleps) is pretty whack. I don't know what all those people drinking so much back then when the tradition was established were thinking, but it's an indication that we can safely ignore their tastes and opinions.
M/tch, until about 1930, they were serving gin with laudanum, or maybe amphetamines, or maybe a little strychnine just for kicks. Maybe your window should narrow in a bit.
And what the hell should I call a dry, somewhat dirty vodka (non) martini, so as not to offend the purists?
Colder, isn't it? The metal has a higher thermal capacity than glass, so a drink in a chilled metal cup will stay colder, longer, than one served in a glass. (The 'copper for a MM, silver for a mint julep' thing is just silliness, but the metal thing makes sense.)
72 is pretty redundant, except for the last link, but I think what you were brewing and what I like to drink from bottles are basically different drinks. Although if the alcoholic ginger beer came out like what I like, but alcoholic, I would drink it all day.
74: A travesty.
75: Yep, colder, but if your drink gets hot, it means you're drinking too slow. Also, metal sweats more than glass, and I don't like the taste/feel of the metal.
And gin and laudanum is a fine beverage. Just don't go ordering it with vodka.
I told my preschool kids that there is no Santa Claus a couple of years ago.
We could find out together, Standpipe...
My interest is purely scientific, you understand. I'm so very fond of science.
With a martini the classic gin plus touch of vermouth kind is the best, by far, for me. Although I did have one which had pisang ambon and lychee in it which was tolerable -- not overly sweet, just more perfumed than a normal one.
Re: 50 and whiskey being sweet: someone is drinking the wrong whisky. One of those American bourbon type thingies maybe or maybe one of the milder malts. Proper scotch, maybe something like Laphroaig or Lagavulin, isn't sweet, surely? Kind of wierd tasting for some palates, yes, but not sweet.
Re: Moscow mules... the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka. A mix of dark and light rum or maybe one of the spiced rums can be very nice. Just lime juice, good sharp/tangy ginger beer and the rum.
A friend of mine 'invented' his millenium cocktail a few years back -- which was tequila, gin and absinthe, if I recall. Not good. Although very effective...
Czechs drink a thing called a 'beton' which is made from Becherovka and tonic. That's a pretty nice long drink -- similar to a gin and tonic but with a more pronounced herbal taste.
Bottled mixes save time, but suck because they're all corn syrupy. Plus, it's fun to put fruit in a blender.
'Saketinis' are, ime, awesome. Hello and Goodbye, Mr. Braincell. Whee!
Absinthe is delicious on its own--no need to mix, except with water and, to taste, sugar.
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
A friend and I once invented a drink called a Copacetic. I'm told we drank an imperial shitload of them and kept insisting how f&#king good they were.
Noone, especially not my friend or me, remembers exactly what was in them, but the best evidence points to it being basically a gin and tonic with lemon squeeze and a few drops of dry vermouth. Kind of a martini cocktail or a martini/g&t mashup.
Just thinking about that next morning makes my head hurt something frightful, but I've been assured that I was definitely copacetic the night before.
Weiner, that first link gives me some hope. I was dubious about the yeast-based recipe from the beginning, and that one sounds much more plausibly delicious.
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
That's just the kind of irrational accusation a vodka drinker would make!
When I drink liquor, it's almost always gin and tonic, though I'll drink margaritas with a crowd when pitchers are ordered. I've pretty much settled on wine as my preferred poison.
I used to drink lots (and lots and lots) of bourbon when I was young, but I seem to have lost my taste for dark liquors. And nothing red - I have very bad associations with grenadine that now extend to any drink with that color in it.
You know, I'd be much less prejudiced against vodka if it weren't just so goldarned tacky.
So you're a white wine drunk, apo???
In the summer, I drink white wine (I'm drinking an excellent French picpoul right now). When it gets back down below 80, it's mostly reds.
Look, I'll drink gin-n-t's, if that's what on offer, but really: vodka as tacky?
I demand arbitration by the greater Unfoggedariat.
I think you're being trolled, JM.
Ah, I see your point, M/tch. No red liquor drinks.
(Like apostropher, I generally drink wine.)
I guess it's just that any food or drink where the entire goal of producing it is to remove as much flavor as possible is pretty suspect to me.
But I do make time for some vodka drinks. White russians are pretty tasty, although a bit cloying and heavy. And in the right company, e.g. Russians, Poles, gay men, drinking vodka doesn't get my dander up.
Hmm, how to put this. "Vodka martinis" are the cocktail equivalent of "soy chorizo"?
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
I've found I get less hungover with vodka than gin (or other hard liquors); fewer impurities.
Which doesn't mean I don't like the flavor of various single malts. But them's more for sipping. Looked at another way, vodka is therefore more dangerous.
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
You see? Aside from some cupware issues, them old folks knew what they were doing!
When the vodka you're drinking came from a street vendor in Moscow and you've had to turn the bottle over to look at the pattern of the glue on the backside of the label to assure yourself it was made in a factory and not in a bathtub, and it's cold - not because of refrigeration, but because it's the same temperature as everything else in Moscow in January? Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love. So. Good. Mmmmmm. I want one right now. But I generally only drink wine because liquor makes a man mean.
I generally only drink wine
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
I generally drink Zeigen Bock. Have I mentioned that you can't buy alcohol to take home within Lubbock city limits?
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
I figured a big-ass plastic cup would be better than simply chugging it from the bottle. Then my cup ran out and I realized I was so wrong.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love.
A proper Manhattan is delicious. Rob Roys too. I can see the Love part, but what's all this about Diesel Fuel?
Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Like I said, in the proper context (Russians and gay men, a twofer!), vodka is fine. And dandy. But as Farber's comment points out, most vodka drinking is done by folks who want to get drunk but don't want to pay their dues. Such people should stick to Chocolate Choos Choos.
As an aside, a friend of mine who spent years in Russia (mostly Moscow) told me that if you see a guy standing on the side of the road making a horizontal "two" with his fingers against his body at all passerby, it means he's looking for someone to go halfsys with him on a bottle of vodka. Also that the type of vodka he's looking to buy comes with a flip-top, i.e. non-resealable.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
(I believe that drink has a name, possibly "dead mule".)
When I was 20 I mostly drank rum and cokes and Fuzzy Navels and screwdrivers. At my 21st birthday, a friend made a drink and named it after me: three kinds of fruit juice and three kinds of liquor, described at the time as "sweet and fruity, but it'll kick you when you're down." When I first had a Manhattan, a couple of years later (now 10 years ago or so), it tasted wretched in comparison. Underneath the shock of the drink not being drowned in citric acid or corn syrup, however, I recognized something wonderful and my tastes began to expand.
I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that particular sign language - the twosies thing - but it doesn't surprise me. Here's a related tip: never drink vodka from a can. Do. Not. Go. There.
I was once involved in the creation of the drink known as ,for the few days it existed, the "Bushy Visor." The name was from what someone had misheard the phrase "Bush adviser" as a few days previously. The drink was about as good as you'd expect a drink invented by 17 and 18 year olds to be. I believe it was made of rum, vodka, coke, and grenadine, mixed in a Nalgene bottle and served over ice.
Ah, Manhattans. Delicious when made well, deeply sad when made poorly. My default drink is a gin and tonic, partly because they're delicious, and partly because I enjoy being in the minority as a gin-lover.
Ah. I see one of the Matts got there before I. Though I think calling it a "Jamaican Mule" is a bit redundant. The name I was looking for was "Blind mule", not dead.
Following our trainwreck freshmen years, my co-blogger Froz Gobo and I took a year off school, got an apartment, and discovered that cherry Kool-Aid will obliterate the taste of tequila even when mixed 1:1. When we moved out, the carpet was pretty much one enormous red stain.
A friend deeply under the influence of Dostoevsky invented a drink called the Crystal Palace: equal parts Crystal Palace gin and Crystal Palace vodka, garnished with a cabbage leaf and served warm. It didn't catch on.
Some years later, me and my then-current housemates held a party at which we debuted a drink we called the Liza Minelli. We had the taste not to call it a martin even though it consisted of vodka, vermouth, and a green olive served in a martini glass . . . with the olive stuffed with a sleeping pill. It was a short party.
According to this highly entertaining--and informative!--article on malt liquor, economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze. I figured they were good for something.
economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze
Dsquared also has a nice article about whiskey yield curves lurking somewhere in his archives.
It is only appropriate that drunkenness is being discussed in another thread.
Y'all are just wrong. A dirty vodka martini is a perfectly fine drink.
But if you want a non-sweet, summer drink, try Campari and soda, or Campari and tonic. Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
In which case, it bears mentioning, you're a communist.
I'm pretty close, but I still like G&Ts. Never had a Pimms Cup.
There's also that nice German sour beer thing where you add raspberry syrup. Not the woodruff, b/c that tastes like cough syrup. And no, even with a bit of raspberry syrup, it really isn't all that sweet. V. refreshing. Yum.
Are you talking about lambic ale? It is Belgian, not German, and it tastes much better without any fruity flavorings.
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard. It's some kind of sour wheat beer, and it's German.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
Bourbon, while it can be sweet, need not be any sweeter than a good cognac. And, as pointed out upthread, single malts, especially Islays, aren't sweet at all.
In college, a favorite drink was the L/empi M/iller Hot Pepper Smegma, which was greyhound with a teaspoon+ of Tabasco.
I also once invented a drink consisting of tequila and strawberry yo-j, which really tasted no different from a margarita, only slimy. I have no idea why it didn't catch on.
How could it taste no different from a margarita, which contains no strawberries or strawberry flavoring?
It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
If you brew your ginger beer with yeast, it will be slightly, but only very slightly, alcoholic. Plus, if you don't use yeast, how are you going to do it?
A note on sidecars: properly made, and if you omit, as I do, the sugar rim, they won't be too sweet. Possible factors that might increase sweetness: using an ass triple sec; using a mix instead of fresh lemon juice. Take a look at the proofs of various triple secs the next time you're in a liquor store; Cointreau (the original and the best!) is 80; the DeKuyper/Hiram Walker/Bols things are something like 40 or 38, and much sweeter.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
This is known as a Dark and Stormy.
125: sorry, "strawberry margarita." And yes, I know, and no, we don't need a second fucking debate. You know what I mean.
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard.
OTOH there are some lambics that are intensely sour and to which a sweetener is often added.
Gimlets are good. They are also extremely powerful. The first time that I got *really* drunk I was drinking gimlets.
Washerdreyer, sidecars sound really good.
Drymala, mojitos are good.
There's a pretty cool website devoted to drink recipes called Drink of the Week.
Apropos of nothing, I accidentally hit enter, after typing the f in unfogged and landed at unf.com where I learned that Colonel Sanders is wrong.
I know I ordered a drink called a Dark and Stormy once, but I thought it was cognac and something. It was good, whatever it was.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever). I prefer 2.5 brandy to one triple sec.
It is indeed Berliner Weiss, and I did not know about the sour lambics. Live and learn.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever).
What? No. The ratios are ratios of volume, and an eighth of one lemon doesn't necessarily have the amount of juice as an eighth of another. When I say, eg, 2:1:1 something, other, lemon juice, I mean something like 1.5 oz something, .75 oz other, .75 oz lemon juice. You have to use the same units throughout, people!
This is just an absurd criticism, the directions I gave would, in most situations, lead to a perfectly good sidecar. Must I have said that I was referring to a lemon of average size and juice producing capacity in order to avoid confusion? No, because I trust my fellow commenters intelligence. Also, I said "on the order of".
Does anyone know how to remove a red wine stain?
At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, Oxiclean. If you doj't have any around, flooding it with club soda, or water if that's all you have, will help, but Oxiclean takes it right out.
If I put soap and water on it now, will Oxiclean get it out later? The stain's already a few hours old.
I did not know about the sour lambics.
All lambics are sour. They're spontaneously fermented (i.e. left in an open vat to acquire fermenting organisms from the air), and so there are a lot of organisms working on the wort, including ones that produce acetic acid. There are a number of (crappy) lambics that add a sweetened fruit syrup at the end and so end up pretty sweet.
The really good fruit lambics (which is not to disparage the non-fruit lambics, which are delicious too) just add crushed fruit (e.g. wild cherries) at a certain point to the fermented lambic and let the yeast and other organisms on the fruit, plus the sugars provided by fruit, produce a secondary fermentation. The end result is quite dry, but with an intense flavor of the fruit to go along with the complex sourness. There was a pretty decent article in the NYTimes not too long ago about some of the lambics available in the states, but there's a patchwork of labelling laws in the various states that keep a lot of the most unique beers and other alcohol products out. I'm considering starting a Belgian Liberation Front in Texas to change the relevant laws (although it's not very high on my priority list, certainly below food security, farm policy, and the War Against Vodka)
And speaking of Belgian beers, I know Canada, particularly Quebec, has some good local versions of Belgian styles, and probably has a good selection of Belgian imports available. If you can get your hands on any of the Cantillon brews, I highly recommend them.
If the stain is fresh (i.e. still wet) the best solution is to pour salt on it. The salt will absorb the wine. After the wine dries though, I don't know.
I wish I had known that salt thing in the restaurant.
Yeah, tomorrow's fine, even without the soap and water.
Wow, that Oxiclean stuff must be great. Thanks for the advice, LB and M/tch.
The salt thing is mainly a carpet trick (damned servants!). Refined people such as I never spill wine on our clothes.
And you know, I can't help thinking that if you alameida really loved us, she'd comment on this thread.
Boy, I just googled tonight's Nerve date (went pretty well, cute, college prof, athletic, seemed like a nice guy, hug goodnight and he made some kind of kissy sound--I'm not sure where his lips were when he made it), and I saw he wrote a report for a certain non profit for a campaign they ran that was started by a guy I knew for a long time then briefly dated, then tried to be friends with and succeeded for maybe a year, but who then weirdly and snobbily stopped talking to me, so that means my Nerve date almost certainly knows this guy I dated and knew for a long time before that. Freaky. I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
I'm fond of Manhattans
Manhattans made with bourbon: good. Manhattans made with rye: better.
So a college professor spilled wine on you?
Yeah. He kept jiggling the table, and droplets splashed onto my special first date skirt, which already has small bloodstains on it from a time I tried to hurriedly shave my legs before a date. The table jiggling was annoying, but he seemed to have other good qualities.
Maybe he's good with the laundry?
Speaking of red wine, folks in Chile (especially rural Chile) mix red wine and Coca-Cola™, for a drink called "Jote" (sp? -- pronunciation = HO-tay).
And yes on Gin & Tonic. I've slowly lured myself into Gin by insisting at first on Bombay Sapphire, then accepting Tanqueray. Now I'm down to Seagram's, as much more cost-effective substitution. It's the opposite of Gin snobbery!
While Tanqueray Ten is a great great thing, once you mix any gin with tonic, you really can't tell much difference other than rotgut vs. non-rotgut. So I agree with Stanley (Fish?) regarding cost-effective substitutions. One shouldn't ask for single malts in one's whiskey sour either.
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
Sez you.
That means a lot coming from you, wolfson.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
But see, Chopper, you've previously admitted that they're basically supposed to taste like water. After this "perfect pre-dinner cocktail", do you aim for the dinner to taste like nothing? Are you a partisan of Coors Light as well?
For wine stains on carpets or on clothes the trick is to get it out immediately on spilling which is done thus:
Take a clean and dry cloth, napkin or tea-towel - fold a couple of times place over the spill and press down hard. This'll seem like it's going to make it worse, but really it won't.
DO NOT rub, don't move it all, just press down with as much weight as you can -- if it's a carpet place the clean cloth over the spill and stand on it if need be.. Lift.
Usually you'll find the wine will have been completely 'sucked' up into the tea towel or napkin.
As long as the cloth is dry and is pressed straight down, hard, it works. The minute you rub, it's over -- the stuff is then ground in and spread.
Even on red wine which has been spilled on a completely white carpet -- if done quickly enough you'd never know it'd been spilled.
This has been a domestic announcement,
i am egregiously late to this thread.
but grappa is indeed ass. its main use is, if you have a gaggle of ancient crippled looking old italian men laughing at you when you ordered at cafe corretto at age 19, to specify that you want your coffee mixed with grappa. they will get all seriously suddenly. and several will nod at you. because everyone knows that stuff is damn hard to stomach.
on the other hand limoncello is really delicious if you are in italy. i plan to start making it myself when back in boston later on. (three cheers for moonshine).
I'm not sure that I've tasted ass, but if it tastes like grappa I'll steer clear of it. Marc is the same thing isn't it? It also tends to be very nasty.
Never had a Pimms Cup.
This wants rectification. Go find you a bottle on a hot rainy summer afternoon. Get some bitter lemon. Combine in pleasing proportions. Garnish as desired; lime, or English cucumber if you really must.
the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka
That would be a "Dark & Stormy" everywhere except Cotton's on Chalk Farm Road.
Grappa is really quite pricey for what it is, but aguardiente is the same stuff and usually cheaper.
Does the Dark and Stormy have lime juice in it to?
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on. rum and ginger beer is delicious. also, sidecars, manhattans, gimlets, both gin and vodka martinis even though gin is much better, all tasty. real deal fruit lambics, yum. grappa...well, it's pricey for being so paint-thinner-y, but it's ok. wait, are there drinks I don't like? scotch. I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass. or appletinis or chocolate martinis or bailey's irish cream. I got very drunk on white russians one time when I also kinda OD'd on methadone, so now I really can't deal with them. that scene in the big lebowski where he makes a white russian with powdered creamer...oog. my stomach is weaving around just thinking about it. hm. calvados is actually delicious but I was very disappointed with it as a young person because I thought it would taste like apples and it tasted a lot more like BOOZE than I was expecting. but 12-year-old girls all have shitty taste in likker anyway, though I never liked wine coolers so there's some room for pride there. mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone. I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic. also, I love you guys.
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on
I have a suspicion this depends on what country you get it in. Some have stricter labeling / regulatory laws. I recall, in one country that was reasonably strict, looking at the usually mysterious label and finding that the principal ingredient is gin. So, it shouldn't be harder to get drunk on than gin. Depending how you mix it.
I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass.
Surely this depends on which scotch.
I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic.
I'll think that, if you like.
mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone.
Oh yeah. Used to do that with Vintner's Choice red "wine". Another, even cheaper, brand, too, that was utterly undrinkable unless mixed, though I can't recall the name.
The closest equivalent to cheap red wine + cola that I've found is Australian sparkling shiraz. Especially the cheap brands, like Lorikeet. The power of red wine meets the mindfuck of bubbles! All for about $7/bottle. Tastes like carbonated grape juice (which it is, but I mean it tastes more raw grapey and unfermented) and will mess with your head. But in a good way.
I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
This is one of the major plusses about online dating. That way, when you break up with them and/or find out they have a tiny
penis, you never have to see them again.
Also, I like gin. A lot. I want to like scotch, and I'm trying, but I find, like alameida, that at the current juncture, it tastes like peaty ass.
I went for some higher-end stuff one time to try to escape the assness, but it just tasted more peaty and more assy, not less.
If only there were a way to combine gin, campari, and vermouth.
Australian sparkling shiraz
I wish I could have some now! Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20). Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
I just bought a bottle of something called Kasegaran (Health!) which cost about $2 and I have no idea what it is made from, but it is what people here drink when they don't like cap tikus (paint stripper distilled from palm wine). It looks kind of red. When I'm brave enough I'll drink it and give a report.
Get some bitter lemon See, that's a problem for Americans. Alas. We are forced to drink Pimms & soda instead.
and/or find out they have a tiny penis, you never have to see them again. Silvana, you just traumatized half the unfoggedtariat. Not, I hasten to add, that anyone here really does have a tiny penis, but that a surprising number of men worry that they do.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass. At all. It's lovely stuff.
And just in case it doesn't go without saying: if you're drinking fancy single malt scotch, don't put anything in it. No water and no ice. It will taste so much better. People who, strangely, imagine they dislike scotch often dilute it, which is what makes it taste nasty.
But Irish whiskey tastes like insecticide.
If you're not fond of Scotch, there's always good Irish -- Black Bush is very nice, and the Bushmill's single malt is wonderful.
I had a bottle of the 1608 at Christmas the year before last, and my whole family sipping it and making little cooing noises about how good it was. A guest looked at us, said "Huh, I've never had Irish," and reached for the bottle to pour some in his coffee. My father slapped his hand away and handed him the Jameson's.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass
Have you ever tasted a Scotsman's ass? Maybe it's a regional flavor.
I wish I could have some now!
It's a bit early for me, but why not?
Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20).
But then it wouldn't taste so much like cheap red wine mixed with cola, and what fun would that be? Seriously, I've had some of the higher end stuff, and it is better. Lorikeet gets the job done, though.
LB's father is a man of sound principles
You know, I'm having another one of my online dating conundrums. I'm never sure how much to read into someone sounding kind of lame and pretentious, but not stupid, on their profile. On the one hand, maybe they just didn't know how to approach the medium or something. On the other, wouldn't anyone I really want to date have a sense of how to come off well in writing and generally be funnier?
177: Funny is important. My bf had one bad moment in his online profiile, that I admit would have put me off if I'd been going on that alone. But on balance, the thing was hilarious (pretentious in an obvious mocking-the-medium sort of way). Isn't there some way to ask this person directly about whatever-it-is that's bugging you? I've found that that's the great advantage of the online thing--not worrying about tact overmuch initially.
But then I'm a bad person.