Re: Do you know who I am?

1

Also "Who's your daddy? Come on, tell me who your daddy is!" works.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:27 PM
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walking up to people, asking "who's the boss?," then punching them in the face while saying "Tony fucking Danza!"

The crap Judith Light had to put up with.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:36 PM
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Hoff, a falling down drunk? How can that be? Doesn't everyone sever a tendon while shaving?


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:37 PM
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You know what would be neat? If Alyssa Milano ate a Milano while reading The Mill on the Floss, in Milan.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:46 PM
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Angeler!
Tony!
Angeler.
Tony?
Angeler!
Tony! Tony.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:49 PM
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I'm not much of a cookie person, but I've gotta say that those cookies are fucking good.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:49 PM
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It's a shame they only put, what, three servings in the package.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:55 PM
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Bah, Milanos aren't that great. Now the Bordeaux, and the Chessmen, and the Sausalitos, those are great.

In fact, I think we have some Sausalitos in the kitchen. Hmm....


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:59 PM
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… said Herr Meiwes.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 9:59 PM
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Aren't chessmen just sugar cookies? Milanos, though, I can't make those at home.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:00 PM
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I know none of these exotic cookie varieties of which y'all speak


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:01 PM
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Thanks, B. My joke is RUINED RUINED RUINED. 9 to 7.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:02 PM
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Actually chessmen are butter cookies. And all Milanos are is some kind of grainy sugar cookie with melted chocolate sandwiched in between. You could totally make that at home.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:03 PM
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14

Dude, a joke about cannibalism deserves to be ruined. Sicko.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:03 PM
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Hmm. I'm thinking weekend project here.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:04 PM
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I'm really torn here. Cookies don't go with beer. Which do I want more?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:05 PM
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Cookies, milk, water, beer. In that order.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:07 PM
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Dude, a joke about cannibalism deserves to be ruined.

Aw, baloney.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:08 PM
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Someone needs to invent a kind of alcohol that goes with cookies and yet isn't disgusting.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:08 PM
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18: Har har. Admittedly, cannibalism is funnier than Dave Barry.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:09 PM
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19 - Irish coffee and its ilk?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:12 PM
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Chessmen are awesome! You can now get them dipped in chocolate, but these are not as good as those French cookies.

I used to like Mint Milanos a lot, but they're made with partially hdrogenated crap which is sure to contain some sort of trans fatty acid. Chessmen are made with real butter.

Tony Danza has this horrible new talk show which is like a giant infomercial. I've seen it at work a couple of times. Shannon Doherty was on recently which seemed slightly ironic.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:14 PM
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I need a cookie-baking philosopher, like I've said before. Even good store-bought cookies are inferior to mediocre home-baked.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:16 PM
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See, I think that the "dipped in chocolate" thing is often overkill. Honestly, I don't find the chocolate in those Pepperidge Farm cookies especially good.

Irish coffee, hm, maybe. But then I'd be up all night. I wonder if I can tell myself that whisky goes okay with cookies, as soon as I finish this beer.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:17 PM
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25

19--Champage.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:22 PM
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Champagne.

Oh, the shame.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:23 PM
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I'm sure w-lfs-n would have the perfect answer to your question.

WOOOOLFSOOOOON!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:26 PM
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Fuck, 26 is exactly right. Of course, I have none.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:30 PM
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29

Sherry.

Yum.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:31 PM
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I'm currently going for the spice-matching combination of gingersnaps (TJ's) and hefeweizen (homebrewed). They go quite well together.

Also, imperial stouts work with chocolate anything.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:35 PM
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31

Nathan, what is your field of study?


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:37 PM
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Milanos? No no no. Mint Brussels are much better.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:38 PM
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33

Bitch, I thought you should know that I've been playing with that Pollock thing you linked for over thirty minutes. You are evil!


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:40 PM
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34

Bwahahaha!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:40 PM
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35

Amaretto goes well with the right cookie.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:41 PM
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I was course 6 (EE/CS) plus some 8 (physics), but I'm several years graduated and in the Working World (tm) these days. I should probably switch to the @alum.mit.edu address to be more clear about that.

Beer was never a formal field of study, although I know plenty of yeast specalists in microbiology...


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:44 PM
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Great. You know, back when I wasn't encumbered with a kid, I had a good alcohol selection and could easily have accomodated these suggestions. As is, I think I'm fucked.

However, I shall send said kid upstairs to get in his jammies (yes, he has no bedtime) and see if I can dig something up. Because me must have cookie!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:45 PM
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Cyanide goes well with bitter almond cookies.

Oh, I should cross-post this in the cat thread.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:45 PM
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39

eb is Jessica Fletcher?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:47 PM
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My attempts at Weiner-chivalry have failed.

Hey, I figured this is a feminist blog.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:49 PM
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White russian + good cookie = yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:49 PM
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42

What did you expect him to say, sil?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:50 PM
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43

See, I'd put white russians under the category of "disgusting."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:50 PM
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Alcohol inventory! I have a tallboy Budweiser, two North Coast Scrimshaws, a half-bottle of gin (tanqueray), and same of vodka. This is not really acceptable.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:51 PM
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B is not one to Minsk words.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:54 PM
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46

Well, it's not proper Weiner-chivalry if the person is likely older than you.

Which means I guess I should be hitting on you instead, teofilo.

Also, since w-lfs-n's not here, I'm obliged to say, sil?


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:54 PM
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47

Which means I guess I should be hitting on you instead, teofilo.

Well?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:58 PM
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48

Cabernet Franc. With dark chocolate chips.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:58 PM
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49

I'm trying to remember how to use AWB's eye-contact move, but I can't find the thread.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 10:59 PM
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50

Might as well link this again:

A Virginia judge declared on Monday that 82-year-old Ruth Knueven is unfit to own pets, after animal-control officers seized her 488 cats. Local law enforcement and animal-control officials say they found 120 cats in her house in 2001 and that they've discovered several other cat hoarders in the area over the past year. What's the deal with "cat ladies"?

Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:00 PM
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51

I'm in the wrong thread, aren't I? Oh well. Do you know who I am?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:01 PM
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You're one of those cat hoarders, aren't you?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:03 PM
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I'm in the wrong thread, aren't I?

Sadly, if you hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have noticed.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:04 PM
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54

43: Whatever, square.

1 part Kahlua + 1 part Baileys + 1/2 part peppermint liquor + oreo


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:04 PM
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49: That's making "eye babies," and strictly prohibited around here.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:06 PM
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My claim to fame is the cat herd around the world. Eighty days and not one escaped from the basket.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:07 PM
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I think the weird Russian guy in the laundry room was just trying to make eye babies with me. (Yeah, I'm doing laundry at midnight. And drinking. On a Thursday. Sue me.)


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:07 PM
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58

You're not doing a good job of hitting on me, sil.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:14 PM
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59

41 + 54 = You're confused.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:17 PM
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cookies & booze:

try port or proseco. proseco might go better even than champagne.


Posted by: TomF | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:18 PM
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59. oh no you di'innt! I know my white russians. I was suggesting another drink, a bit more crude in its delivery, but suitable for a sweetness-craving tongue.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:21 PM
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62

Geez, teofilo, patience. I was just about to show you my tits.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:22 PM
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I once considered making 62 the Unfogged Happy Fun Page image but decided against it.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:25 PM
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Hey, you're off there making eye babies with Russian laundry guy. What am I supposed to do?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:25 PM
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63: Good call.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:26 PM
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Bake me some damn cookies?


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:26 PM
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67

Fuck cookies. If you're trying to hit on someone, try this.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:28 PM
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Anyway, I can't, like, make witty online repartée, 'cause I'm too busy objectifying you and stuff.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:28 PM
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B., we don't allow that kind of pornographic material here. This is a Family Website.

[fans self]


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:29 PM
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$22 for four s'mores? Jesus.

Objectifying is good. Let's stick with that for now. Later, eye babies.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:30 PM
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71

A smores kit? Why don't you just woo your honey with Lunchables already.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:31 PM
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My god, that is some fucking hot dessert photography.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:31 PM
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It appears sil would rather objectify the desserts.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:34 PM
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49 + 55= You may be confused.

Also, if 57 is abnormal behavior, I don't want to be right.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:35 PM
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75

Show her some ham and cheese on a cracker, that'll get her attention.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:35 PM
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71: Right, that chocolate is just like lunchables. Handmade marshmallows and 85% chocolate = cheez whiz.

SB, you have no soul.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:36 PM
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75: erect the ham-cheese-cracker on your penis, and you're good as gold.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:38 PM
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78

Silvana, did you see the green box?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:38 PM
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It's bittersweet, though, when you get your hopes up and she says, why don't we be just desserts.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:38 PM
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67 - Wait a minute, B? Didn't you suggest I send that to Ben? Curious....


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:40 PM
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(for thanks for server help, when we ended up sending mystery alcohol instead)


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:40 PM
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I did, actually. Ben and I had a long talk about how that would be a fantastic date activity. Invite someone over for dinner, whip out the s'mores kit for dessert. You're in.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:41 PM
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83

80 would be better w/out the explanation in 81.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:43 PM
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84

Ben and I had a long talk about how that would be a fantastic date activity.

Yeah, for rich people.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:48 PM
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85

eb, you're on fire tonight.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:48 PM
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86

Inviting someone over for dinner plus a $22 box of dessert requires you to be rich? Dude, that's cheaper than a damn movie.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:48 PM
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Apropos 25, 26 and 28:

Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
-- Dorothy Parker


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:50 PM
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Movies: also for rich people.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:51 PM
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89

All right. Tell me of a date activity that costs less than $20.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:52 PM
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Although I should amend 84 to include grad students, which I guess invalidates my whole argument. Still, $22!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:52 PM
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You could buy cookies and chocolate and make marshmallows together. They take two hours to set so you know you've got her there all evening.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:52 PM
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92

A walk in the park: free.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:53 PM
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93

I had a date last night that involved going to watch fireworks. That was free (well transportation cost, but that's negligible). We did spend $40 on dinner beforehand (well, I spent), but you could skip that part.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:54 PM
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Sure, but once in a while you might want to, like, share a meal or something.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:54 PM
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Where do you live that you can't get a meal for less than $10?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:56 PM
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I had another date to cheap lebanese place where we gorged ourselves silly. Total cost: $15. Immigration is good, because it gives us ethnic restaurants.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:58 PM
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In all honesty, the only meals around here for less than $10 = fast food.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 6-06 11:59 PM
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Really? That surprises me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:00 AM
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It's a weird place. There's your fast food, then there's your niceish restaurants. Nothing in between.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:02 AM
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I prefer to go to cheap restaurants for early dates anyway. Less pressure.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:02 AM
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I prefer to go to cheap restaurants period. But then, I don't have any income.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:04 AM
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102

And I live in a bustling urban neighborhood with lots of restaurants.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:04 AM
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102: Bingo.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:06 AM
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104

Still, most places have at least some moderately priced restaurants.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:07 AM
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105

No wonder you're moving.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:08 AM
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106

Most moderately priced restaurants in a lot of America = Denny's. Or the locally-owned version of same. I.e., gross.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:09 AM
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107

Come on. Even in Backwards Midwest town where I am right now, we had cheap takeout Greek for dinner.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:11 AM
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108

The Greek place here isn't especially cheap. There are a lot of "family-style diners" that serve crap like toasted wonderbread and overcooked veggies, though, if you like that sort of thing.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:12 AM
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Sounds like things there are like they were here 10 years ago or so. I don't think we even had a Chinese restaurant until after I graduated from high school. Now we've got Indian and sushi and all kinds of stuff.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:14 AM
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if you like that sort of thing

Which I do (at least sometimes). By which I mean, some family-owned Denny's equivalents aren't that bad.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:15 AM
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'Night y'all.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:16 AM
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'Night.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:17 AM
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113

We do have a good sushi place, but it's not cheap. And we've got a couple good Vietnamese places that are moderately priced (about $30-40 for the three of us). But no taquerias, no burrito places, no inexpensive ethnic restaurants to speak of. It's weird.

And yeah, a good diner is worth its weight in gold. But a crappy one is hell.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:18 AM
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114

Yeah, I too need to get some sleep.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 12:19 AM
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115

I blame KITT.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 1:04 AM
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116

(Thanks, standpipe b.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 1:25 AM
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117

Cookies and alcohol - has to be almond biscotti dunked in Vin Santo. You (well, I) can drink a lot of vin santo that way without noticing.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 5:10 AM
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Shortbread and Licor 43.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 5:29 AM
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119

Or, for that matter, almond biscotti and amaretto. Or nocino (or vin de noix). You could also overmatch with limoncello and lemon squares. Probably a lot of area to be explored with herbal liqueurs.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 5:32 AM
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120

I was on an airplane with David Hasselhoff once.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 8:09 AM
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Did he shout at anyone?


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 10:56 AM
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No, but it was a short flight--Paris to London--so he probably didn't have enough time to get sufficiently plastered to start causing a scene. This was in 1989, by the way. Post Knight Rider, pre Baywatch.

I most likely wouldn't have noticed him at all if it hadn't been for the way he was dressed--black leather biker jacket and a pair of jeans with lots of holes ripped in them. I also noticed that he's pretty tall.

And that, friends, is the tale of my brush with greatness.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 11:13 AM
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I hope his great brushness wasn't visible.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 11:15 AM
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I hope his great brushness wasn't visible.

You mean like this?


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 1:21 PM
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125

Sure is quiet around here.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07- 7-06 10:40 PM
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