If s/he means "MENSCH" why misspell it? Maybe the correct spelling was already taken I guess. Before reading your take on it I was thinking "Maybe that's a jocular shortening of 'mention'" but I could not figure out why somebody would want "mention" on their license plate.
I demand that someone with posting ability start posting about Deadwood. If no one is watching it, I demand that as well, but I think w-lfs-n is, isn't he?
"I'm centered."
"I've got a great sense of humor".
"I'm on hiatus and won't be posting for a while"
Maybe the TSH stands for "thyroid stimulating hormone" and there's a joke I just don't get.
Maybe he/she really likes smoking MENTH[ol]S, and is dyslexic.
Once while driving from SF to Sacramento, I was passed by a car with the plate "MOON UNIT". Could it have been the Moon Unit?
Also, I was once nearly run over by a huge guy with long blonde hair and a plate that said "HULKSTER7".
Any of the predicates asserting non-existance of the speaker could be written down and become true at some point. Except something like "I was never born". (True I guess for certain very special speakers like Athena or Jesus Christ.) e.g. text's example in 10: if you write it down and put it in an envelope with directions to open at the reading of your will it is a perfectly valid assertion.
I believe there is no misspelling involved here.
"Considerate."
Actually, just about anytime someone ascribes good qualities to himself, it's a good bet he doesn't have them. The exceptions, of course, are quantitative qualities, like huge cocks, etc.
15 totally ignores the Seinfeld episode with the "ASSMAN" plate.
No, it takes that episode fully into account.
I used to see a Testarossa around with the license plate "ALLCLASS," which I took to be an ironic comment on the owner's conspicuous consumption, but which, in retrospect, it probably wasn't.
16 -- is that the standard Yiddish spelling of the word, or a gay identity thing? Either way, cool.
I for one would be very amused to see a vanity plate that read "VANITY".
"LIC PLATE" would be equally amusing.
17: Not just that, if one says, for instance, "I'm a bit of a dick" it probably means one is a real jerk.
Minimal research would be helpful in cases like this.
Gary Farber has of course had dozens of posts about this on his blog.
I used to see a Testarossa around with the license plate "ALLCLASS,"
What does ALLCL mean?
The Moon Unit might have belonged to the Moonies.
I admit that the one vanity plate that I thought was pretty ok was some shortened form of eudaimonia.
Ms. Zappa you mean? I believe she was fully owned property of the Universal Life Church.
What other predicates are in this general category?
"Compassionate" and "conservative", especially when the two are combined.
I want to get license plate holders that say "I'd rather be contemplating the eternal", but I worry that it's too long.
Let's not forget "I'm honest," which a couple of my exes used to say when they really meant "I am psychotic and manipulative."
28: For another twist on classical Greek and vanity plates, there's this.
"PRSTDGT8R" would be cool. I don't think this state gives me that many spaces though. I'll have to move.
I used to see a battered old Citroen around Berkeley with the licence plate HWAT.
Vanity plates demonstrate just that.
I like the whole attributing-good-qualities-to-oneself thing, b/c it's such a big formal issue in epistolary novels, and I like getting students to talk about that.
I think sometimes people can be trusted to accurately label their good qualities. But you have to know them pretty well to know if that's the case, in which case you probably know their good qualities without their having to do so.
The damned license-plate people won't do diphthongs or I'd totally be CLOWNÆ.
33: No, "I'm honest" means "I like to say mean things."
w/d: Don't you think this season of Deadwood could be shortened by an episoe or three without any loss in quality if they just nipped the theater thread?
I bet slol watches.
35 -- shouldn't hwæt be spelt "hwet" not "hwat"? I always got the impression that when American spellers of English do away with a vowel pair like that, they retain the latter vowel. eg "archeologist", "clownesthetic", etc.
14: Any of the predicates asserting non-existance of the speaker could be written down and become true at some point.
Wait, what is this relativist shit? Truth is not reader-dependent. At the moment of their writing they are false. God sees you doing it and makes a little mark in your ledger under "LIES TOLD." Nothing that happens after that can alter His judgment.
. . . if you write it down and put it in an envelope with directions to open at the reading of your will it is a perfectly valid assertion.
Trying to hide your lie in an envelope will only make Him angrier.
It'd be interesting to trace the development leading to "honesty" meaning "having the courage to say really negative things."
Finally, a dissertation topic!
A car in my neighborhood in Virginia has the plate RTFM.
43--It might have been HWAET, but it certainly wasn't HWET.
A friend of mine's dad had one reading UFB. He told the DMV it stood for "United Federation of Biologists".
I've always wanted to get a vanity plate that was a meaningless sequence of letters picked randomly from a Scrabble game. Road sadism...
I was baffled by a vanity plate reading FTHE9RS until I saw the Raiders sticker above it.
"Classy," yes (as per #13).
On the other hand, "klassy" generally lives up to its self-ascribed qualities.
There was a "Born Loser" comic strip once where he bragged to his boss about his vanity license plate, then said that he had just picked random letters and numbers.
Any of the following declarations:
"I'm...
...down to earth."
...wild and crazy."
...a deep thinker."
...humble."
...generous/charitable."
...one badass MF."
...kewl."
I think I speak for badass motherfuckers everywhere, annie, when I say that I'm hurt and offended.
Maybe we could also discuss license plates that are fishing for compliments.
53: Then I suppose your vanity plate should express the fact that you're one sensitive badass motherfucker.
Actually, just about anytime someone ascribes good qualities to himself, it's a good bet he doesn't have them.
What about on resumes and in job interviews? Especially when they ask you to tell them about your best qualities?
And speaking of which, regarding "What do you think is your biggest weakness?" Worst common interview question, or worst and most stupidly useless common interview question?
What do you think is your biggest weakness?
My love of clown-related humor.
Does anyone really get asked that? I never get asked that in interviews.
"My biggest weakness is my inability to stop myself from explaining to all of you right here, right now, just how fucking stupid that question is, you dimwitted cunts."
I never get asked that in interviews.
Every interview I've ever had, yes. I've considered applying for jobs I'd never accept, just so that once I can watch the look on the interviewers' faces when I answer, "My biggest weakness? Oh, definitely high school girls. No contest."
"My biggest weakness is my failure fully to appreciate just how completely over-the-top awesome [Company X] is."
A great businessman I've sought out for advice told me a couple of months ago to smile slightly and say, "I don't have any."
"What've you heard? What did they tell you? Oh. Thank God! None, then."
61: even better would be, simply, "Cock."
56: Dumbest interview question ever. With even dumber responses: "My greatest weakness is my desire for perfection, which leads me to put in long hours and work very hard and be a great employee. [thoughtful expression] "
I think this is a useless consulting firm thing. Really, it's like a courtship ritual. They have prescribed questions. You have prescribed answers. No one cares if it's sincere as long as it demonstrates that you've been properly coached.
65: It would kinda ruin the humor if I gave an honest answer, da.
Apostropher's cock weak???
Say it ain't so, apo!!!!
Spellcheck, M/tch. Still, I'm glad somebody remembered that it's Apostropher's Cock Week. There's still time to buy presents for it, everybody.
Where are you (or perhaps I should say " is it") registered, apo?
Thanks, da. M/tch, it's registered in most states as a deadly weapon, of course.
MOST states?
Why the exceptions? Are the background levels of Kryptonic radiation too high for your cock in West Virginia and Idaho?
Some of the western states don't require registration as long as I'm not concealed. And I hardly could be, y'know.
71 has to be the most emasculating thing I've ever seen.
75: Word. The weird thing is, the trunk has all this extra room, supposedly for when the penis gets erect. Now I'm not a guy, but if I were, I doubt I could get an erection wearing that thing.
76: Yeah, plus anyway why pay money for something like that? You could just to take a marksalot and draw on some eyes yourself.
77: Or stick on a couple of those googly eyes they sell at hobby stores.
On reflection, 79 should have read:
78: You're not getting near me with that hot glue gun, honey.
66: Cala, I knew that there was a reason that I didn't go into consulting. I'm not sure how you managed to do it without getting fired. I don't know that I would have been able to hold a straight face.
The one normal, very WASPy guy with great social skills I knew who went into consulting worked for the [Insert name of a famous Greek Building here] Group. They seemed pretty normal and took an equity position in a lot of the companies they were advising. B/C/G always seemed a little bit more tolerant of mild eccentricity (though very white male) than, say, Mc/K. The McK recruiter said how very hard it was to get a job with them, but that we Har/vard students had a better shot than anyone.
Those inscrutable consultants must be wily negotiators.
The end of 81 should have read, "Gawd, they were so pretentious."
A vanity plate I saw in Los Angeles a few years ago:
"JIMMYHAT"
I could never decide if he was just claiming to love blowjobs or advocating safe sex.
I once saw a license plate in Maine that read (give or take):
BEMYWF
Hopefully it was one of those silly proposal stunts. If not...
Apropos of absolutely nothing, who would have thought getting crazy head and waking up with morning wood could be so unappealing?
I need to stop following the links here.
Recent favorites:
ANUSTART - given it was an old lady, I assume she meant fresh beginnings, but "anus tart" is much more compelling
ASK-RAK - their initials are ass crack, HAW HAW
2BAD4MYX - seen on a "champagne" Jaguar sedan being driven by a 40-something honky with a Magnum, PI moustache and a sleeveless muscle shirt.
2BAD4MYX
This must be great for picking up new victims chicks. I'm sure he'll get just the one he deserves.
After I got over the hump of being convinced the guy meant "too bad for Mike's" (remember that gameshow where people deciphered vanity plates? yeah I would totally lose that game) then all I could think was how, yes, the statement in question was probably true in a way utterly unintended by its author, and that I wished someone would add "and current, and future..." to the bottom of it with a handwritten note.
I'm not sure how you managed to do it without getting fired.
In fairness, I only lasted eight months before I left. On the other hand, consulting types are very easy to manipulate if you really have no moral qualms about messing with people's heads. And really, you shouldn't. That's what HR people are there for.
Ahem. I'm one of these consulting types, people. Although, in my defense, I have not and never would ask that stupid question in an interview. And I fully admit I'm a corporate tool.
You do technical stuff, though. (Right?)
I'm on the technical side of things but my job becomes more management-y each year.
If you're not a perky HR blond with a bad chunky highlight job and trendy shoes and no discernible purpose my quibble is not with you. (I am not tempermentally suited for consulting.)
Don't get me started on HR. I think we're on the same side in this.
52: One of the worst self-ascribed comments: "I am SOOOO drunk/high."
Seen on a Ferrari: JUS4TWO
ANUSTART - given it was an old lady, I assume she meant fresh beginnings, but "anus tart" is much more compelling
This made me laugh so hard last night had to flee the computer.
ANUSTART
I as reading this like it was an elision of Anus Start. It sounded like a medicine to me, something pronounced Ann-you-start, with the slogan, "Anustart, to get your anus started right."
RMP tells the truth. Other people here have spotted it. It has even been immortalized in art and in the local dance scene.
Also,
anustart.com
Conservative Christian anustart
Google cache of anustart's blog
anustart on eBay
anustart.com
Conservative Christian anustart
Google cache of anustart's blog
anustart on eBay
Apostropher appears to have sublimed into a pornographic spambot.
I don't see how things like ANUSTART can slip through anymore these days. I've done consulting work for state DMVs, including a proposal for a Large Midwestern State for a web service to let you check whether the vanity license plate you wanted was available. There were LONG lists of disallowed words/letter combinations we had to check for and we had to apply a lot of rules, like whether the mirror image would be offensive (3MTA3). Not saying it doesn't happen due to computer glitches or failures of imagination on the part of people making the lists of disapproved words, but it's probably less likely these days than when it was just the little old ladies at the DMV reviewing applications.
Anybody for anus tart recipe blogging?
Q: Anus tart?
A: Of course. That's why it's all puckered up like that.