Re: Bartleby

1

Link?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:37 PM
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2

link, ogged, link! I must inform myself about the dangers of this mysterious creature!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:38 PM
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3

The dog ate my link.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:38 PM
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4

Fixed, dawgs.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:39 PM
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5

I like it. It has surprisingly sensitive eyes.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:47 PM
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6

How hard is it to keep the vultures away? Are there lots of vultures in Maine?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:48 PM
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7

I hope this will put an end to those mysterious scrivenings.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:49 PM
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8

Another picture here (at the bottom).


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:50 PM
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9

Is the title ("Bartleby") a reference to Bone or to something else that I am not sophisticated enough to understand? Thank you in advance for your reply.


Posted by: Sam Heldman | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:51 PM
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10

It has surprisingly sensitive eyes.

The eye looks almost human. Jesus Christ, Maine animal control people!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:51 PM
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11

Oh, I get it. Very Dennis Miller, ogged.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:51 PM
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12

This wolf-dog-rodent is the secret to something very important. And we're just the cock-jocking, contentious group of procastinators to find out what.

It will be accomplished via free association.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:51 PM
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13

Sam Heldman? Gads, are you still alive? Sam Heldman, of the old school fine liberal bloggers, everyone.

The title, which Bridgeplate has fun with at comment 7, is a reference to the Melville story "Bartleby the Scrivener," in which Bartleby, our scrivener, one day at work answers all requests with "I would prefer not to."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:55 PM
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14

I am still alive, though not blogging, but reading comix instead. Thank you for noticing.


Posted by: Sam Heldman | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 7:56 PM
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But I see you're also still saving the world, so thanks for that, and for your modesty [banned winky emoticon goes here].


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:00 PM
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By the way, in the epic graphic novel "Bone" -- a cross between Pogo and Lord of the Rings -- Bartleby was the one good "rat creature," all of whom were scary monsters except for Bartleby who was cute and good-hearted.


Posted by: Sam Heldman | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:01 PM
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17

I'm trying to come up with a "taxonomy & spend" joke based on -gg-d's first line in the post, and it's not working.

That thing is freaky. Its eye is freaky. Everything about it is freaky and frankly, were I the game warden, I would at least be sorely tempted to reply with a "Google it, I ain't goin' anywhere near that thing," myself. That's based solely on the headshot, however. The bigger picture just looks like a Chow, though what I know about zoology wouldn't fill a thimble.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:03 PM
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18

wouldn't fill a thimble

Wrong thread there, chief.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:08 PM
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19

Well, it is Maine. The phone conversation with the wildlife folks undoubted went something like this:

Caller (probably transplant from out of state): The evil Rottweiler-eating monster from hell that's been terrorizing us for years with its blood-curdling howls and glow-in-the-dark eyes is lying here dead, in broad daylight, and you're just going to sit there and not even come look at it?

Wildlife Official: Ayuh.


Posted by: jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:13 PM
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20

It looks like a Dat. Or a Cog. Poor thing.

Also "It's the weirdest looking thing I have ever seen in my life," said Michelle O'Donnell, of Turner, and Michelle looks like she might well have seen some weird stuff in her time. They seem to have put her photo through the woo-woo filter.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:18 PM
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21

11: I get Bartleby, but why Dennis Miller?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:19 PM
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22

It's a chupacabras! They've made it up to Maine!


Posted by: J— | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:21 PM
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23

It looks like a wild boar crossed with Cujo, and it's obviously the work of Stephen King.

#5: If you think those eyes look "sensitive," you've been hanging with a very rough crowd indeed.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:24 PM
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why Dennis Miller?

For the semi-obscure allusion.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:29 PM
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25

I'm digging its skin color and texture, at any rate. Looks like something from a Lovecraft story. Tekeli-li!


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:30 PM
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26

If you think those eyes look "sensitive," you've been hanging with a very rough crowd indeed.

I'm a lawyer.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:31 PM
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27

But I have rights!

And I think it looks sensitive. Soulful, even. Too good for this world.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:31 PM
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28

Tell that to the Rottweilers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:34 PM
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29

Are you about to claim Jackmormon dated it?


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:35 PM
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30

Oh, Jesus. I hope they send anthropologists out with the police. Hey local police department! You'll have to deal with conspiracy-minded occultists for the next thirty years no matter what you do! You can be villains or invisible; those are your choices, sorry.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:38 PM
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31

29: Of all the anti-Persian slurs...


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:41 PM
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32

29. Hey!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:42 PM
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33

Quick quiz: if Details magazine was going to do a slide show with that picture of that animal in it, what women should appear juxtaposed with it?


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:42 PM
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34

What would the animal be wearing, Tim?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:45 PM
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35


Eh, it's Maine, some sort of L.L. Bean thing.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:47 PM
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36

33: Your mother. Duh.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:48 PM
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37

I've seen that before. Totally the hound of the baskervilles.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:52 PM
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38

I'm thinking the feature is on women with beautiful eyes who terrorize neighborhoods. All purpose celeb Lindsay Lohan, perhaps? Or are we going to go with the easier "dog" theme?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:53 PM
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39

They've probably been getting crank calls about this thing for a generation.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:55 PM
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40

"plate scraper" easily becomes "bowl licker"

But those eyes aren't beautiful, they're dead.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:55 PM
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41

Could be "Women who hide in the bushes for a decade and occasionally rip out the throats of smallish pets". Then we can get a discussion of how some guys think that pet-throat ripping women are totally hott!


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:56 PM
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42

"This is something I've never seen before. It's an evil-looking thing,"

Man have I heard THAT before.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:57 PM
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43

Too bad it didn't get hit in the winter. They would have had more time to get the proper government response. Still, somebody should have bagged it and put it in their moose freezer.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:57 PM
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44

Like Angelina Jolie, for example.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:57 PM
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45

Smallish pets?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:58 PM
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46

Angelina Jolie has a moose freezer?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 8:59 PM
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47

Then we can get a discussion of how some guys think that pet-throat ripping women are totally hott!

I think we've all admitted to various NCBC crushes on the women here already.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:02 PM
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48

Occasionally I'll read the other comments for context into which to insert my comments. But not today.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:02 PM
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49

Angelina Jolie is...Tomb Raider!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:05 PM
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50

32 & 33: Well, it did eat ravenously and Felix was about to wax poetic. It was a natural next step in the chain.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:05 PM
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51

Anyway, the kitten liked it.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:06 PM
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52
Like Angelina Jolie, for example.

I can't quite picture her in an L.L. Bean, preshrunk, all-cotton polo shirt. But otherwise, yeah, sure.

Also, and much as I love her, Katharine Hepburn. And I can totally picture her in that polo shirt.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:06 PM
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53

I'm so slow tonight. I'll never catch a doberman at this rate.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:12 PM
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54

29: reckon it was not tall enough for her.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:17 PM
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55

Anyway, the creature is obviously a macaca.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:21 PM
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56

Shouldn't the slide show feature several obviously beautiful women with a headline implying that they're really dogs, and that ugly is the new pretty? We could send it to Amanda at Pandagon.


Posted by: jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 9:23 PM
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Jesu H Spaghettini, don't any of you recognise a werewolf when you see one? Back when I used to camp in the Maine woods, we ran into them at least once a month. Wicked expensive things, those silver bullets.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 08-16-06 10:37 PM
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"Mama, what's that picture on your computer?"

"It's, um, well, it's a dead animal."

"Oh no!!! Sad!!!"

Thanks a hell of a lot, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 1:24 AM
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59

It's ok, there's probably another one outside his window waiting to eat him.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 1:35 AM
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60

Actually, he seems to have shifted his fears away from monsters and onto cancer lately. Which is still your fault. Bastard.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 1:54 AM
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But those eyes aren't beautiful, they're dead.

Only dead eyes are beautiful, M/lls.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 3:46 AM
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58: Chez moi: "Is that a kitty, daddy?" "No, it's, um, more like a dog." "Oh. It looks a little like a kitty."


Posted by: jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 9:19 AM
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63

What is a chupacabra doing so far north?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 9:50 AM
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64

Mutant offspring of a chow and a badger.
Next question: What's a badger doing so far east of Wisconsin?


Posted by: Lex | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 10:01 AM
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65

More pictures!

Via the website of Loren Coleman, world-renowned cryptozoologist.

It's somewhat less bipedal than I was hoping.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 10:11 AM
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66

On the other hand I have a new favorite blog.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 10:15 AM
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67

The Loveland Frog is a creature (frog-like, obviously) that’s been sighted in Loveland, Ohio on multiple occasions. It has the face of a frog and crouches like a frog, but has the ability to stand upright. The sightings are generally of the creature scared and running away. . .


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 10:21 AM
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68

Today, the Black Hills Pioneer is reporting that the South Dakota School of Mines and Technology is denying that they have the body of a Bigfoot.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 10:32 AM
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One of the routine ways of looking at reports of giant flying creatures from exotic lands is . . . as giant bats (below). But there is another school of thought too.

In Africa, they are called Kongomato (see below - William M. Rebsamen art from Cryptozoology A to Z and a mysterious photograph of one that has surfaced on the internet). In New Guinea, they are named Ropen. Some would have us consider if there are pterosaurs among us still today. A new book, Searching for Ropens, proposes they do exist.

I'm probably going to keep doing this until someone bans my IP address, just FYI.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 11:38 AM
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Keep going, Felix. It's important for me to stay abreast of the giant flying creatures and walking frogs to adequately protect my farm.

Does your new favorite blog have any civility requirements?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 12:08 PM
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It's important for me to stay abreast of the giant flying creatures and walking frogs to adequately protect my farm

Ever the optimist. If you'd seen the horrors I've seen . . .

Though actually The Loveland Frog, as you would know if you had done even the most basic research, weighs only fifty pounds and is among the shyest and most gentle of cryptids.


Does your new favorite blog have any civility requirements?

The commenters there seem surprisingly articulate and even-keeled.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 12:23 PM
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The commenters there seem surprisingly articulate and even-keeled

Shorter Felix: stay away fuckers! It's mine, all mine!


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 12:31 PM
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They're doing serious work and I don't want you people going over there and wasting their time.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 12:35 PM
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74

Can you identify this mystery fish found on an old postcard?

I put it to you that you cannot.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 12:44 PM
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75

Looking at the pictures, the "mystery monster" looks pretty much like a wolf with dark fur. (Loren Coleman clarifies, at the link posted in 65, that this is what the other "unidentifiable" creature in Turner wound up being.)

No wonder the wildlife officials are underwhelmed. I especially love the descriptions of local townsfolk saying things like "it had a stench I never forgot" or "I sensed I was in the presence of evil" -- wow, that's heavy, dudes! I wouldn't go racing off to check out the paranormal action on that kind of say-so either.


Posted by: Doctor Slack | Link to this comment | 08-17-06 7:58 PM
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74: Tiktaalik roseae


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08-18-06 4:50 AM
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77

Impressive! But:

The tiktaalik has a pointed snout and the beady eyes are placed close together on the top of the skull. This is very different from the mystery animal.

I mean no offense, Mr. Englishman, but I have to ask: what exactly are your qualifications in cryptozoology?


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-18-06 5:59 AM
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I read a book on a long flight once.

Well, Tiktaalik would have evolved a bit in 300 million years, wouldn't it? Get in there and claim it as a new species: T. Unfoggedi.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08-18-06 6:17 AM
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I read a book on a long flight once.

More than sufficient!

Tiktaalik would have evolved a bit in 300 million years, wouldn't it?

Even sufficienter!

claim it as a new species: T. Unfoggedi.

This is about the sufficientest thing I ever heard.



Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-18-06 7:19 AM
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