Re: War Stories

1

I think it's great. Sad for parents to find out that their children's love is a phenomenon roughly analogous to a hamster salivating at the sound of footsteps at food time, but still funny.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:18 PM
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2

Can we all despair now? Please? Just to save time and effort?


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:20 PM
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3

You've been waiting for permission? I've been despairing for years now.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:23 PM
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4

This will only work if the flat daddies are covered with terry-cloth.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:30 PM
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5

It's a national shame the Guard can't afford Real Dolls.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:34 PM
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6

I've had nightmares like this.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:34 PM
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7

This is just incredibly, incredibly, messed up.

Why? The article says that the program has been enthusiastically received by its intended beneficiaries. There is no evidence that anyone is forced to participate. I think it's a bit weird, but it's not about me, it's about the family members who, if the article is to be believed, like it.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 12:52 PM
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8

Where do you stand on the Real Doll issue, Idealist?


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 1:02 PM
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9

8: Good question. This puts Ideal's quite reasonable and good support for the military in direct conflict with the Republican core principle of tax cuts; Real Dolls aren't cheap, IIRC.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 1:06 PM
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Jim Judkins had at least one precarious moment as a cutout. When cousins tried to stuff him into a suitcase to take on a cruise, they broke his neck. But instead of expensive surgery, all the cutout needed was a little duct tape, Judkins said.
I wish I could come up with a joke about that.
Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 1:13 PM
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9: SCMT, as the world's remaining superpower, we have a duty, I think, to equip our military families with the best damn fake mommies and daddies there are. Of course, some people say you go to war with imaginary friends you have, not the imaginary friends you want. I disagree.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 1:21 PM
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I already can picture the story in the news a year of 2 from now about how the family can't get used to the returned vet -- "Flat Daddy never yelled at me", "Flat Daddy was a great listener", etc.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:09 PM
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13

"year or 2" not "year of 2"


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:10 PM
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14

Sounds like it's a comfort to some people. I do wonder if it helps or hinders kids w/Flat parents when their parent dies or comes home seriously injured.


Posted by: annie | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:15 PM
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15

I wonder if the National Guard has considered venturing into the Flat President market.


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:22 PM
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16

Perhaps they could make that part of the notification process for injuries: "Kids! Get a marker and draw a line on your Flat Daddy where the line appears on the silhouette below. Now get an Exacto knife and cut along the line you've just drawn. Congratulations -- your Flat Daddy now looks like the father that may come home sometime."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:24 PM
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17

I am getting really, really fucking tired of pictures in the paper of families hanging off of their soldier or Marine who's deploying to Iraq.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:34 PM
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Perhaps they could make that part of the notification process for injuries: "Kids! Get a marker and draw a line on your Flat Daddy where the line appears on the silhouette below. Now get an Exacto knife and cut along the line you've just drawn. Congratulations -- your Flat Daddy now looks like the father that may come home sometime."

The old fashioned way is better. You call all of the spouses in and have them line up in front of headquarters and say "OK, everyone whose spouse is still alive, take one step forward . . . Not so fast Mrs. Smith."

[on a more serious note, and not to be a downer(but blame LizardBreath for opening the topic) having once had to tell a family that their soldier son was dead (suicide, not a combat-related death), I can assure you that there are fewer things in life which suck more]


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:37 PM
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19

I think we can all agree that LB's going to hell.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:38 PM
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20

Going? Then what are all these pools of molten sulfur doing here already?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:45 PM
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21

Candygram.


Posted by: Land Satan | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:47 PM
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22

For me? (Opens door guilelessly.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:53 PM
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23

I too don't see the problem with the program, given the response of the people it's for.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:53 PM
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24

You know, it can be not evil, and still reflect a basic incredible-fucked-upness of reality. Even if it helps, saying "Sorry you won't see your dad for two years. To console you, here's this lifesize cardboard cutout," is still fucked all the way up.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 3:55 PM
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25

24 is hard to argue with. Not that I was inclined to anyway.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 4:26 PM
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26

There's not a problem with the program, it's just hilarious and sad.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 4:27 PM
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27

I roll to disbelieve.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 4:28 PM
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28

I remember that when Mr. B. was in the airforce, it was not uncommon for little kids to not recognize their fathers when they came home. Or to run to the wrong uniformed guy. That sort of thing is the main reason I refused to have kids unless he left.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-30-06 10:06 PM
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I agree with 24. I don't understand why so many commenters are saying, 'well, if it makes people happy, who am I to judge?' It's still creepy, and the fact that it makes people happy is to me the creepiest part. I'm not so much concerned with the National Guard, which seems to have good intentions here, as with the families that participate.

It seems like a way to cope with pain by trying to deny its source in what may literally be the most superficial way possible. I'm not saying that families need to wallow in misery for the sake of 'really understanding their situation' or anything, but this seems like it might be on the wrong side of the line between managing a problem, and trying to create some kind of stasis until the problem resolves itself (the soldier comes home).


Posted by: Toadmonster | Link to this comment | 08-31-06 1:00 AM
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It was already mentioned in the thread at Steve Gilliard's, but there was a Sex and the City episode in which Trey, Charlotte's husband at the time, gives her a cardboard cutout of a baby to try to cheer her up during their unsuccessful attempts to conceive. The inappropriateness of the gesture was made clear on the show.


Posted by: Clancy | Link to this comment | 08-31-06 10:44 AM
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