The easiest solution is to initiate a sexual relationship with the snorer. Once this is established, you're at liberty to wake them up, scream abuse at them, beat on them and make them sleep in the yard.
Is it because I'm black, w-lfs-n?
That would be uncomfortable if the snorer were of close relation. My grandfather could be heard during his afternoon naps from one end of the house to another. Once, we confirmed his snores could indeed be heard through multiple storeys of a building.
What's with this "objects blunt and sharp?" I submit that "blunt" means essentially, "not sharp," and your fantasies are merely about "objects" (of all types). Brevity is the soul of blogging, Mr. w-lfs-n.
Objects can also be squishy, like an inflatable beach ball or a soft cheese. Ben will get nowhere beating his roommates with a camembert.
I took that as meaning "objects blunt and objects sharp." No?
I claim that "squishy" is merely "blunt, taken to its logical conclusion." Being beaten about the head and shoulders with a wheel of good cheese? It's the tastiest possible rectification.
6 is obviously correct. If someone says "I have grey and black socks", you understand h/h to mean "grey socks and black socks", do you not?
6 misses the point of what I was trying to say. If someone says, "I have black socks, and I have not-black socks," then why not just say "I have socks, of all types," and be done with it?
Blunt/=not sharp. If I hit you with a pillow you don't describe it as a blunt instrument.
There is a range of object types between, say, baseball bat and dagger. Or, what OFE said.
Plus, "I have black socks, and I have not-black socks" is not equivalent to "I have socks of all types", because the former but not the latter statement is true if I have only black, grey, and puce socks, but no maroon socks.
You should get some maroon socks. They'll look nice with a dark brown ensemble.
With objects blunt and objects sharp,
With horns that peep, and horns that parp,
With every kind of snark and carp -
You cannot wake the snorer!
[Next stanza, anybody?]
9: 10 and 11 put another way, "blunt and sharp objects" is not a dramatic placeholder for "objects of all types" -- it's the subset of "objects that hurt to be beaten with."
Stockard Channing reflects on ranking states of affairs.
Earplugs, dude. The foam cylinder kind. If you can induce the snorer to turn on his/her side the snoring diminishes.
Clearly I shouldn't have said, "of all types." That's pretty much obvs, and 11 is absolutely correct, but I still maintain that instead of saying "socks black and not-black," one could simply say, "socks" and be done. "Black and not-black" adds nothing, logically, to the statement.
And how one could argue that being hit by a pillow is not being hit by something blunt, is (like many things) beyond me ...
It's difficult to understand how you can describe a completely involuntary action as hateful or rude. Yes, it's very unpleasant to be the only person in the room who is awake and listening to a symphony of snorers, but they are clearly not doing it on purpose. So stow away the terms hateful and rude and let's move on.
Obviously, 16 has one of the right answers, especially for someone staying in a hostel. As you rightly point out, you don't know these other folks well enough to feel comfortable waking them up. The earplugs seem like the best -- and cheapest -- solution.
Ms. Channing gets it exactly right. There are worse things Ben could do than sleep with a boy or two, especially if he blogs it. But, yeah, stay away from Tim.
If you can induce the snorer to turn on his/her side the snoring diminishes.
But then they'll have weird dreams.
But, yeah, stay away from Tim.
Why the wanton cruelty, Becks? Is it coz I'm black?
Maybe it's because I want you all to myself?
Nah, that's not it.
"Tim's not the worst thing Ben could do
since at least he's not a Jew."
I *am* an occasional snorer and it's bloody difficult to do much about it.
I would be wary about sharing a room with other people though. I don't snore that often but I have no control whatsoever over when it happens. I'd be inclined, for that reason, not to use hostel style beds.
Earplugs, dude. The foam cylinder kind.
how are you going to beat anyone up with a foam cylinder?
You don't actually beat them up with the earplugs, but sneakily insert said earplugs into the snorer's nostrils.
The best fictional exploration of snoring is "Oblivion" by D. F. Wallace. Well, one of them, at least.
Professor Obvious and NCP clearly don't get it.
Arthegall, let's consult the OED! Def 2a for "blunt" is
2. a. Of an angle, edge, or point: Not sharp, obtuse. Of a tool or weapon: Without edge or point. spec. blunt instrument, a loose term covering any large, heavy object that might be used as a murder weapon; transf., a crude threat.
For this notion blunt is now the proper word; and this is also now the leading literal sense, which tends to influence the other senses.
Key is "of an angle, edge, or point"; a pillow, like many neither blunt nor sharp objects (soup, roasted marshmallows, overcooked pasta, foam cylinders) doesn't have angles, edges, or points; it's soft. Even when things do have discernible sides (leaves, say), they aren't blunt because, insofar as "blunt" means "not sharp", it means "not sharp" of things that are susceptible to sharpness. You may be right about "black and not-black" not adding anything to the statement (except that there are at least two colors in play), but it's not analogous, really, to "sharp and blunt".
What drove me forever away from dorm-style accommodation is not so much the snoring, but the wanking. Yes, I can hear you, Mr In-the-bunk-above-me!
22: Nah, that's not it.
So much anger, youngling. You know, but for the hostility, we could have teamed up and fought crime, like Batman and Robin. (Yeah, I shoehorned that in. I've watched that video repeatedly recently. I am powerless before the greatness of the old Bulls. And someone named Myssone, apparently.)
18: Actually, there is technology that works pretty well to quell the problem. (I'm a world-champion log-sawer, so if it works for me I figure it'll work for pretty much anyone.)
Of course, that's not to say I actually [i]use[/i] said technology on a regular basis, since I think it looks kind of dumb. But then I don't sleep in hostels much, either. I think Ben should invest in a box of anti-snoring strips, try surreptitiously pasting them on to the nose of the next snorer he encounters, and say "hey, it was either that or kill you with a crowbar" when the person wakes up and asks him what the fuck he's doing.
My husband and I snore. He can sleep through my delicate, demure snorage, but I most definitely cannot sleep through the racket he makes. I've suggested the nose strips, but he hasn't tried them. I've nudged him when he snores and he rolls over and stops for a spell, but then I've already been awakened, and this happens several times a night. It's really very frustrating bc I don't get good continuous sleep. In the wee hours of the morning, I've been so tempted to just stifle him w/my pillow. But that's a bit harsh. Sometimes I leave for the guest room. I know some people always sleep apart from their partners in order to get a good night's sleep from snoring, cover hogging, tossing, etc., but that doesn't sound very inviting. I can't sleep with him and I can't kill him. Suggestions welcome.
31: But Becks and I have already teamed up to fight Mexicans. Our spirit never falters and our food never touches.
29: Grosssss! That's what the showers are for.
Ages and ages ago I actually did wake up a snoring dude in a hostel in Thessaloniki and asked him to turn on his side.
The obvious solution here is to not stay in hostels.
But the post isn't really about hostels. Or snoring.
Ben is, of course, completely correct. Snorers should be in snorer jail. Years ago, some buddies and I had gone playing pool and drinking, and they crashed at my place, and commenced an evil symphony of synchronized snorning, with one inhaling as the other exhaled. I jabbed them in the ribs with my pool cue, but that had no effect, drunk as they were.
38: The story doesn't end there, surely?
Then I beat them about the face with my enormous cock. That had a nice effect.
ogged, you just edited that comment, didn't you?
An annoyance similar to a snorer is a person who leaves their alarm clock set when not in the house, as my next door neighbor apparently did last night. 5 a.m. rolled around, and thus began the beeping. Fortunately I found my earplugs, as it was still going at 10 this morning. Otherwise I would have been driven quite mad.
An annoyance similar to a snorer is a person who leaves their alarm clock set when not in the house
I do this all the time. Often I'll wake up before the alarm clock and take off—forget about it if I'm out of town or staying somewhere else. Bring on the blunt objects!
42- these are similar at all, except insofar as they are both irritating interruptions to one's sleep. Snoring is blameless, an illness with which some are involuntarily afflicted, whereas leaving-an-alarm-set is pure inconsiderate carelessness, which should bring shame.
You know what else is annoying? Being woken at 3 am by your phone beeping at you with a message that turns out to be from your wife's phone, which is under her pillow, and which she has somehow manged to get to resend a text from the day before while asleep, said message being "You are a poo" sent by your son when he had sneaked off with said wife's said phone.
40: Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
Staying in the bottom bunk in a hostel once, there was a huge snoring coming from above me. Which I endured for a while, but it was really loud and annoying. And the mattress was held up by a bunch of chicken wire, hanging low over me in the middle, which created too much temptation.
So I kicked the bastard. Hard, about in the small of ther back. And he rolled over a bit, and the snoring stopped. For a while.
Once the chainsaw noise had come back steadily for a couple of minutes I kicked again, with similar results.
It was after the third kick that the guy in the bunk above me leant over and said "Dude - that's not me."
The funny thing was the noise was so annoying, that you could hear in his voice that he could understand the kicks and wasn't too bothered by it. Still, I was quite happy that he was gone when I woke up in the morning.
What about a partner who regularly sets his alarm much earlier than he actually intends to get up, so that he can sleep through it and/or hit snooze/reset it two or three times?
Is this grounds for justifiable murder?
What if he's been doing it for fifteen years?
Snoozing two or three times is perfectly normal, and dealing with that is the cost of living with someone. Snoozing five times is over the line.
Is this grounds for justifiable murder?
Please no one kill anyone else for this.
Y'all just wait until you've put up with this crap for fifteen years and get back to me.
What if he's been doing it for fifteen years?
Depends. How many times have you mentioned it as an annoyance over that period?
Well, I used to do the same and god knows I love the snooze. But I'm talking someone who is such a heavy sleeper that he sets his alarm REALLY LOUD--seriously, he even sleeps through those old-fashioned wind-up double bell type alarms--and then sleeps through it or hits snooze only after it's waken me and I've kicked him.
When he really *does* have to get up, he says "make sure I get up when the alarm goes off." So infuriating.
My wife does this. I've persuaded her to advance the alarm from 6.30 to 6.45, but she never gets up before 7.00. I think some people like that "sleeping in a little longer" feeling so much that they set the alarm early on purpose so that they can enjoy it.
I think some people like that "sleeping in a little longer" feeling so much that they set the alarm early on purpose so that they can enjoy it.
I do this, definitely.
Yes. But in so doing, it ruins the ability of one's partner to sleep in a little longer, you see.
i hate snoozing, its just that i sleep really really deeply and quiet sounds take a while to get me awake. that first few minutes coming out of sleep i feel like i got my ass kicked, i feel really terrible.
You snooze people are damn lucky.
My wife has to be up an hour before me, however she's incapable of waking up on her own.
*I* set the alarm for 6.45, get up, make coffee, run her a bath and then go and wake her up. All other alternatives lead to nothing but misery.
66: See, that's what I'm talking about here. Okay, actually, my situation isn't that bad. Thanks for giving me some perspective.
64: Yes, I see. This is not a problem for me, however.
68- This theme can help you work the sour grapes angle until it is.
62: I am definitely one of these people. I drive my wife nuts in the morning, but at least she doesn't have nattarGcM's problems.
In college, I used to have such a problem avoiding the snooze and getting up on time that I moved the alarm clock across the room, thinking that having to actually get out of bed to turn off the alarm would prevent me from getting back into it.
My sophomore year, I slept in the upper bunk of a lofted bed, and would climb down the ladder, walk across the room, hit the snooze button, climb back up the ladder, and sleep for 7 minutes.
Drove my roommate crazy.
re: 67
It gets worse. I don't work weekends. My wife does. That means that even on a Saturday when I have no reason to be up before 9, I'm still up running a bath before 7 am.
In college my alarm clock broke in such a way that the alarm would sound only at 12:00AM. So at night I set the clock time to hit 12:00AM at exactly the time I needed to get up in the morning. After a few months of this, I bought a new clock.
I actually don't use the snooze; I just turn the alarm off and sleep some more. Right now my alarm clock is not within arm's reach of my bed, so I get up, turn it off, and go right back to bed.
re: alarm clocks
An ex girlfriend of mine used to have this 'biorhythmic' alarm clock which was advertised as having been designed by 'scientists' -- of some unspecified type or another -- to wake you up in a non-disturbing way. It made noises that were designed to be randomly spaced and pitched and out of sync with your sleep patterns and somehow game the senses in a way that made you wake up gradually.
I was pretty sceptical, to say the least, but most of the time it did seem to work. You just found yourself waking up without being particular conscious of being woken up.
i often hit snooze & turn off my alarm, and wake up several hours later w/no memory of doing so. its quite jekyl&hyde.
I don't really find alarm clocks that useful; usually my body adjusts to the sound after a few months and I sleep right through it. Luckily I don't generally need them to wake up.
I want to get one of those clocks that supposedly wakes up up with fake natural light.
45 - Teo, I really expected that link to go here.
You know, the problem of annoying others by repeated alarms makes it much easier to get up if I am sharing a bed with someone. If I'm alone, I'll just keep snoozing, and resetting the alarm for another fifteen minutes, but if there's someone else there, I usually just get up the first time.
re: 77
I think the 'bio' clock mentioned in 74 had a light but it was only a little LED type thing rather than full-on daylight.
I really don't understand why someone doesn't invent some kind of vibrating wristband alarm or something.
78: That would have been a bit too subtle for me. I'm all about the broad strokes.
I'm awful with alarm clocks. I have two - one across the room to make me get out of bed (which I'll still snooze 2 or 3 times) and one with the "drop dead" time that's next to the bed.
Also, while I don't believe I snore (nobody's told me I do), I'll give a thumbs up to those Breathe Rite strips mentioned upthread - I have sinus problems during the dry winters and those things are great if you have a stuffy nose. Worth looking like an idiot if you're all congested. I figure the stupid nose things are canceled out by the sleeping topless.
Mobile phone alarms vibrate. If I'm really tired and absolutely have to get up I set mine to vibrate and it will wake me up. Not quite the wrist band thing but part of the way there.
They can be bought though:
http://www.epill.com/medicalwatches.html
Google finds a few others.
Oh man, the best alarm clock I ever had was the one on my last mobile phone. I miss that. Used it every night.
I keep my phone on vibrate and leave it on a wooden table at night. If someone calls me when I'm in bed it'll get me up way faster than any damn alarm.
I use the cell phone alarm on vibrate now, which seems to work fairly well.
My problem is that I get used to an alarm after a while, and don't fully wake up. An extreme case of this was my during my freshman year in college, when I set my alarm for something like 7 or 8 a.m. after going to bed quite late, at 4 or so. The alarm (which was across the room) went off at the appointed hour, and in my sleep-deprived delirium I couldn't figure out the source of the noise. Convinced, apparently, that it was coming from my computer, I began disconnecting all the cables (monitor, ethernet, printer, etc.) from the back of it.
When this failed, I moved on to unplugging every cord in an electrical socket in the room. I eventually got to the alarm clock's cord, which finally shut it off (this whole process took several solid minutes). I proceeded to collapse into bed, awakening hours later to a room that looked as if it had been ransacked, with no memory of the morning's activities. Only later did I slowly remember what happened.
I learned from this that I don't do well on 3 hours of sleep.
I'm going to cop to all the behavior B describes in 60. It's truly despicable.
Worse still, since I quit my job, I've been setting the alarm for 6 in order to wake up by 7:15 or so.
And by 7:30, I'm starting in on a full day of kicking puppies in the ribs.
Okay, so far we've got ogged, Matt F and b vs. 'Smasher and Becks. Anyone else?
I think I'm pretty clearly on team Becksmasher.
team Becksmasher
Smasher sleeps topless too?
I'm not revealing something like that on the internet!
And of course the other group, ogged/matt f/b, sleeps bottomless.
95 reminds me of:
Married life is lots of fun
Two can sleep as cheap as one
It weirds me out that people wear clothing in bed. Seems retro to me, or something like that.
Sleeping naked weirds me out. Nudity is for showering and sex, pretty much. Other than that, we must cover our shame.
I can't understand why anyone in the world would wear clothes while sleeping. Especially socks.
Then there are those women who wear bras while sleeping. Seriously, what kind of crack are they smoking?
Heh. Socks are the only clothes I ever wear when I'm sleeping, which I generally du during the wintertime. They keeps my feets warm.
I'm a big fan of the naked sleep, but the wife has some sort of weird phobia of wetting herself if she's not wearing underwear at night, and consequently can't sleep without it. Somehow in her mind this makes it completely intolerable for either one of us to be naked at night.
Then there are those women who wear bras while sleeping.
I once woke up extremely groggily to a news story about how wearing your bra too long and/or too tight was linked to breast cancer. Something about being all smooshed up= not good. So groggy was I, however, that I'm still not sure whether this was a dream.
In shared living situations, wearing underwear saves you from having to put clothes on if you want to go to the bathroom or get water in the middle of the night. Sleeping with socks on is despicable, though I can imagine climates for which I might, just barely, make an exception.
Dude, Clown... just socks?
There's so much about sleep comfort that isn't rational. I can't sleep without a sheet on top of me, regardless of the temperature or what other bed coverings are in play. My wife used to sleep with just a down comforter, but I put a stop to that.
On preview, I'm on team teo.
(Women's) underwear is the second worst thing to wear while sleeping, after socks, in my opinion. Boxers seem pretty comfy.
If I do wear anything while sleeping, it's porky-piggin' it.
I always sleep in at least underwear. I used to sleep naked but, after all of the fire alarms in my dorm in college, got used to wearing underwear in case I had to throw on clothes and evacuate the building. It doesn't feel "naked" to me since I have so many blankets and comforters.
i can't stand wearing anything, although socks don't really bother me too much. most anything binds up tight when you move around and feels quite strangly. fans are nice to keep everything cool though, and usually require at least a thin sheet.
I sleep in an oversized t-shirt. Teh hott, I know. And though I have on numerous occasions slept while wearing a bra, I am most certainly not on crack.
Socks are almost always necessary in the winter.
But where sleeping comfort is concerned, my big problem is as follows: for about two months now, about five minutes after I lie down, my my legs start to hurt and my feet start to go numb, keeping me extremely uncomfortable and awake. Lately I've found the only remedy is to sleep on my stomach with three pillows under my hips so that my legs are pointing downward somewhat. It's really troubling.
77: They're called dawn simulators. I totally want one too. I don't think that I'll be able to get by without a regular alarm clock, but I think that it would help in the winter a lot.
They are really freakin expensive though. I think that a family friend who is a physicist and electronics geek might be willing to make one for me.
Here's a link to a decent site which describes how they work and provides links to a few brands.
Comforters and duvets are just too light, though they're warm as hell. I want my bedding to weigh down on me, heaps upon heaps of blankets, I want my sheets tucked in and constrictive.
I so, so miss the days of sleeping naked. The pre-kid days. Sad.
(Re. bras while sleeping: dude, at some point--a point I reached while nursing--you need support 24/7, I am sorry. Thankfully, that era is behind me now.)
yeah, the only time i ever awoke naturally was a summer in england in a flat that had no curtains. we'd stay out drinking pretty late, and yet that 6AM sun woudl always wake me up.
Unlike others, it seems, I don't mind what I'm wearing in bed -- nothing in the summer time, t-shirt or pyjamas if it's really cold -- or whether it's blankets or a duvet.
However, I do like to have someone else in the bed. I used to suffer from pretty bad insomnia as a teenager which, I discovered, is mostly cured by not sleeping alone.
re. 115, the down comforter I slept under in Bavaria was pretty divine, it was like a foot thick. Light in weight but I certainly did not need any other bedding to complement it.
In college, when I had been up late but still absolutely had to be up at a certain time (say, to turn in a paper or take a test), I would set my stereo to maximum volume, set the timer for the appropriate time, and drop Psalm 69 by Ministry into the CD player.
Turns out I can get out of a lofted bed and across a room in the time it takes a CD to spin up.
120: If we can trust the google archives, that is the first time anyone on Unfogged has called B a prude. Though I suppose it's possible th t someone who is "on Unfogged" has called B a prude somewhere (like real life) which isn't accessible in the Unfogged archives. The modal ascription of prudeness is either SCMT or ogged, to themselves.
A long time ago my roommate was a jazz drummer. He played in a trio with an electric guitarist and a bassist. I used to sleep right through them practicing in the next room. And here you're worrying about a few unamplified snores, sheesh. All I can say to you is, you're obviously not taking enough drugs.
I sleep naked.
And snore. (Just like my mama.)
And hit the snooze button and/or sleep through the alarm for at least 30 minutes.
These are all parts of my diabolical plan, wherein I render the underlings (non-snorers, easy-risers and clothed-sleepers) so incompetent due to lack of sleep that they are no longer able to function, thereby clearing my way to world domination.
I'm surprised w-lfs-n is the first to notice. I've never even met him.
So I take it no comely lasses want to help me find out if I snore.
Co-ome all ye, comely la-asses,
Come and listen, to Ben sno-ore;
Come deflower, Teofilo-o,
Young Minesha-afte-ers, love you mo-ore.
(Hope you guys can get the tune I'm thinking of here, it's a folk song that I do not know the name of or words to but it's a very nice fit. Are those commas that I put in the middle of the lines called cæsuræ?
(Maybe, a slow, slow version of "You've got to walk that lonesome valley". But probably it is a different song I'm thinking of.)