As a facebook user, I should delurk to give my two cents. The news feed is extraordinarily creepy: anything you do, short of sending someone a private message, is collected and distributed to all of your friends. For example, if you were to list an event, everyone on your friends list sees that you've created an event right when they log in, whether or not they've been invited. If one of your friends sends another one of your friends a public message--known as writing on their wall--the message is displayed when you log onto the site. It does happen to be useful if you want to check to see if anything is new with multiple people, but I, at least, feel unclean reading it.
Laws about what the information can be used for are fine and dandy, but as anyone who has ever been stalked on the internet knows, it's more comforting to have at least some legal protection against involuntarily having a bunch of disparate information that you've provided for specific reasons or audiences gathered together in one publicly accessible place.
3: Right; as I've been saying on every blog I read that mentions this, the most irritating thing is that you can't opt out of receiving the feed. They've mostly dealt with the privacy considerations; you can opt out of having any of your information broadcast (and I have done this) but there's no way to turn off the damn feed itself, which is extremely creepy and takes up most of the screen.
"Warren St. John" would be a great porn name.
I predicted that a firestorm of controversy would cause them to change the News Feed (and the Mini-News Feed) by the end of the week. I love it when I'm right.
Sorry, I can't engage with this conversation. I'm on Cregzlst, posting ur n00dz.
They haven't really changed it much, though, just tweaked it a little.
I'd love a concordance of what is known about unfogged commentators. I think Apostropher is the one who likes bacon.
I believe someone once floated the idea of a wiki FAQ filled with disinformation.
I'd love a concordance of what is known about unfogged commentators.
This would be immense. And not just because it would contain Labs's cock.
Ogged is prissy and only sexually attracted to women who remind him of boy scouts.
It would be pretty funny (or something) if we all anonymously posted pictures of our cocks, and tried to guess each one's owner. Kind of like Sherry's blogparty. Kind of not.
Ogged, that's, amazingly, the gayest thing you've written yet.
Michael spells worse than Saiselgy and his ass gives Chopper needs.
Would we put in a standard object of reference? I suppose not, or Labs would, of course, be no challenge.
15: I wouldn't want to put you all to shame.
Commentator Fact 6: the combined number of lovers of Tia and Bitch is best expressed in scientific notation. The number of lovers of Benjamin w-lfs-n is the inverse of that.
Michael probably won't date uneducated women, but his slippery grasp of parallel construction makes it impossible to be sure.
15: I find this comment exclusionary and sexist. You know perfectly well that we do not all have cocks.
20: Ah, false memory. In fact, I've said on a previous thread that I've had sex with fewer than a dozen men in my life. I think the number may not even hit double digits.
15: I wouldn't want to put you all to shame.
Since when did "girl27" become synonymous with "you all"?
The innocent have nothing to hide.
Sorry, I should slug these all with "Fact!"
Fact! Ben w-lfs-n has slept with all our mothers.
Fact! Teofilo has not.
Fact! Apostropher slept naked while the house he was in was burgled.
15: Weirdly, I had a conversation IRL with someone not three hours ago in which he said that the men of Unfogged should post pictures of their dicks.
I have, like, thirty goddamned dicks, so I'll just put up a page on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
da, was that person ogged? If not, that's pretty weird.
The women can just send photos of themselves, nude, directly to me.
Fact! Profgrrrrl panty-blogged, maybe not just for us, but when she knew we were looking.
i don't really get the problem iwth this, but i don't really have much posted on my facebook account.
30: no, a friend who lurks occasionally.
Seriously, the suggestion contained in 15 has "best. post. evar." written all over it. But judging from how seriously people took the Frappr thing, I don't have high hopes.
How could it really be done anonymously? The pictures would have to come from those in a position to have pictures, if ye ken.
How could it really be done anonymously? The pictures would have to come from those in a position to have pictures, if ye ken.
And that position would be prone? Anyone can achieve that one, except those of us in wheelchairs (less than 50%?)
How could it really be done anonymously?
What do you mean? You mean something more anonymous than sending from anonymous accounts?
So everyone sends their pic to Ogged, and he posts them anonymously. Easy.
judging from how seriously people took the Frappr thing
It's a problem when so many people are pseudonymous.
So everyone sends their pic to Ogged, and he posts them anonymously. Easy.
The problem with that is we have no idea which anonymous Ogged is doing the posting.
36: supine. prone is on your stomach.
38, well, then everyone would have to get anonymous accounts, and whatnot. Think of the logistics! Maybe the logistics aren't actually prohibitive. Whatever.
One can also take a picture of one's tripod with a tripod. If ye ken.
w-lfs-n's just trying to make sure that we remain three removes from the cocks.
42: DAMMIT! I thought I finally had the difference between "prone" and "supine" straight when I memorized the third quote listed here. Now I find that he was actually referring to women lying on their fronts? That's perverse.
The easiest way to do it would be for everyone to just send the pics to ogged, who would then post them. Ogged would know the answers, but everyone else could try to guess.
Ok, so w-lfs-n has something to hide. His cock has a mustache, or something.
47: Are you really comfortable with ogged having that much power? My libertarian impulses are acting up. I only trust ogged to provide police and military services and maintain the roads.
Persons with shoddy wares might be content to give the goods away for free, but I don't see why I should.
Most people here don't even use their real names. Anyone knowing the answers seems like a no go.
You fucking bunch of pussies. I'd do it, and I'm a girl. Butch up.
Obviously, the simplest thing to do would be to set up an @unfogged.com address which would pipe all incoming emails to a script that would extract image attachments and place them, randomly named, in some directory on the server.
This is awesome. It must be done.
In all seriousness, it might be pretty easy pick some out. I am thinking particuarly of our esteemed commenter with the red hair.
Guess apo's going to have to start shaving his balls again.
I think that means you all need to shave your balls. Get crackin'.
54: well the script would have to be written, and I'm not sure if we actually have the means to set up such an address—I know it's possible with root access but I'm not sure otherwise.
We'll have to agree on the camera's distance from the member, the angle of the shot, and the focal length. No tricks.
Guess apo's going to have to start shaving his balls again.
How the hell would you know that he ever stopped?
We can set up extra unfogged.com addresses, I think. Or couldn't we just set up a "unfoggedpics@gmail.com" account, post the password, and have everyone who wants to send a pic send it to ogged from that address? That way they would all be coming from the same anon account so he couldn't tell their source apart. I could not be thinking that thru right -- little brain fried.
You should definitely do this. The ladies will chant and cheer and give you bead necklaces. Randomly, after we get confirmation that you sent in a picture.
No tricks
This from the guy who made his scar look bigger to garner more sympathy.
I love that Becks chimes in from Australia with logistics.
I'll be totally annoyed if I miss this.
This from the guy who made his scar look bigger to garner more sympathy.
It was kinda sad how it went from looking like it was two feet long to just eight inches.
This better be good. I'm expecting at least fifteen penis participants.
ogged will also have to send an email to himself from the anon account, otherwise we'd know which one was his 'cause it wouldn't be in the "sent mail" folder.
I'm not reading 95% of the comment threads while I'm here (only online right now b/c all of our plans for the day got rained out -- yes, we're in a city with over 300 sunny days per year and it's POURING so I'm online booking stuff for the rest of our trip.) You all should really tip me off to the good threads like this via email.
It was kinda sad how it went from looking like it was two feet long to just eight inches.
I wonder if a penis pump could be used to pull out that notch, the same way body shops pull a dent out of a fender.
I've been reassured since that post that the weirdest looking part is an under-the-skin suture that will go away. So it'll be more of a groove. I'm down with a groove.
Guys, if 'Smasher can put on a shirt, tie, and sweater just for us on a Sunday, you can surely all take your clothes off and snap pictures of yr penises.
That is all
I'm expecting at least fifteen penis participants.
No wonder you're popular with the fellas.
You all should really tip me off to the good threads like this via email.
Becks, go vacate. Go flirt with the bellhop or something.
So the notch/groove thing is basically the way the doctors have played this all along. Tell you something much worse than the truth, let you freak out, and then when they tell you the truth it seems like no big deal.
Perhaps not the highest form of medical ethics, but apparently effective.
Question: in the great penis picture post, are the guys who send pics going to admit they've done so *at all*? So the identification guesses are happening within a fixed set of possibilities? Or are the possible identifications to include all potential posters and any exhibitionist lurkers who might be out there?
Because obviously it would be way more fun if it were the former.
If they're too pussy to even send in the pics (except teo), they're probably too pussy to own up to having sent one in.
But I, too, think they should.
That makes no sense. If they don't send 'em in, there's nothing to own up to.
But I agree with you that at this point, Teo is the man.
Teo just wants someone to see that thing before he dies.
I like how a post that's about how random information on the internet can come back to haunt you has now turned into one where we're encouraging people to send in pictures of their cocks.
Well, I'm saying that pushing them past the "send in the picture threshold" is possible, but the "yeah, one of those penises is mine" threshold might be a bridge too far.
But I think we should just continue making fun of them until they do it.
Pussies.
Gswift is just saying that to deflect attention from his being too ashamed to let even one person see his.
Ogged's Persian, so I'm guessing more of a mocha hue, and uncut.
79: Amen. Also, who's to say that Unfogged won't follow Thefacebook's lead and start automatically sending everybody an RSS feed of cock pictures with no prior warning?
Making fun, or egging on, depending.
Think pussies, guys.
(Unless you're Labs or McManly or Stroll.)
82: Nope. Muslims circumcize too.
82 really sounds like you're describing a cat.
I don't think I can set up an email alias the way I thought I could, but maybe there's a panel-based solution I'm not thinking of.
The script works, though.
But if Teo is the only participant, it kind of takes the guesswork out of the whole thing.
I don't have access to a digital camera that I'm aware of. I think to be egalitarian we should just scan them directly in from flatbed scanners.
Gswift is just saying that to deflect attention from his being too ashamed to let even one person see his.
I freely admit, this is something I'm unlikely to do.
uncut
Muslims cut, and I don't just mean the heads off infidels.
And pay no attention to the ladies, 78 was awesome.
89: That would actually solve the distance and angle problem, but I think fewer people have scanners than cameras.
If we're dealing with actual photographs then there's going to be all kinds of considerations of lighting, backdrop, deep focus or otherwise...I mean, no expense will be spared. I really want to win that car.
For example, makeup. This question becomes relevant again.
Apparently mailboxes take around 15 minutes to be activated, but after that time mail to c0ck at unfogged.com will have images stripped and deposited in a publically viewable directory.
No one said 78 wasn't hilarious. I was merely pointing out that it was one of those make-fun-of-the-other-guy things y'all do in order to hide your own embarrassment.
That's c zero c k. Despite the name, the pictures can actually be of anything.
whats the big deal of sending a cock pic?
Hopefully, no one I TA, or apply for a job with, will ever come across this thread, which is already probably damaging enough.
If the job you're applying for involves quick and innovative problem-solving, I think it'd probably help you.
The real problem, obviously, is getting a critical mass. Who'd want to be the lone cock-barer? And who'd cop to it, when he's the first?
Well, maybe the publically viewable directory's location shouldn't be announced until someone has confirmed that a critical mass (say, eight cocks) has convened.
Should there be a consensus about hard or soft serve? Or is that to be left to the artistic vision of the photographer(s)?
I was merely pointing out that it was one of those make-fun-of-the-other-guy things y'all do in order to hide your own embarrassment.
Sometimes you gotta give another guy shit just becuse the opportunity is too good to pass by.
92: A lot of people could scan them at work.
103: Although soft serve would be awesome (and transgressive!) I think the literature confirms that the common cock-metric is that of erect ones, and a bunch of pictures of flaccid penises would probably give less information than we were hoping for.
107: So this is all about measuring? I'm disappointed in you people.
No, Ned, it's about personality.
The thread seems to have fallen very quiet. I can only assume that everyone is off busily photographing themselves.
103: Hard. I can't even believe there's any question about this.
Wait! Possible bug encountered!
109: Or, to be accurate, it's about matching up personality with depersonalized cock, if I'm not mistaken.
Which is one reason I kinda like the idea of leaving the presentation up to the presenter.
I am going to be so very embarrassed for this blog if you crazy people actually go through with this.
What do you mean, "you crazy people." You're sending one in, too.
We're still chatting. All the guys must be off taking pictures. Why don't they just use the same cock pictures they use when answering Craigslist ads?
Ogged, why are you hating? The human body is beautiful and natural, and we would like to see pictures of your cocks.
Wait! Possible bug encountered!
It may look like a bug NOW, but when it gets erect...never mind. I'm sick of explaining that to everyone I meet.
Goodnight, when I wake up hopefully this thread will have been a dream.
Ogged's 114 doesn't seem to acknowledge that this was his idea in the first place.
119: I don't think he expected it to be discussed in a way that suggested seriousness. I agree with 114. And I meant to include this link in 45.
Ah, but the comment in that link was written before the infusion of more womanly content, so its "we" is no longer properly representative.
Well, anyway, everything is, while not perfectly perfect, pretty good on the receiving end, so to speak.
Someone sent in a picture of Foghorn Leghorn.
I don't see how 122 matters. Unless there are representativeness standards for references to (former) in jokes now?
It doesn't, I was just being an ass.
Holy crap! Someone(s) actually sent in picture(s)!
I can't bring myself to look at them. One of them loaded as far as for me to tell that it really was a picture of a cock and I had to shut the window.
Ah, crap. never mind. It's not a homemade pic. Someone's messing with us
I think picture-submitters should write www.unfogged.com on their cocks in magic marker to prevent the submission of fakes.
Wait, we're branding them now? This is disturbing.
I'd better go to bed. I'll see how this turns out tomorrow.
'Night, Teo. Hope the magic marker comes off in the shower.
I'm so not encouraging this project, by the way, as I know what the next logical one would be and I'm not posting a picture of my tits.
Actually, I think it would be even worse than tits, since tits aren't exactly the functional equivalent of cocks.
Tits are a good place to start, though.
re: 144
Kissing, dude. You start with kissing. You're moving way too fast....
I am not writing "unfogged.com" on my boobs with magic marker, I am sorry.
But you'd write it on your functional equivalents?
Why bother when you've already got it tattooed, right?
Some of you prospective cock photographers -- cockarazzi? -- must be familiar with the (possibly apocryphal) circle jerk prank. You know, the one in which some hapless victim is induced into participating in group self-abuse in the dark, and then when the lights come on, he's the only one with his dick in his hand. I'm not suggesting that, say, Ogged would secretly email all the men but one, let's call him Teofilo, leaving one solitary and thus readily identifiable cock in the gallery. But in light of recent cautionary tales of online privacy, a person might want to be careful.
I wish I'd been able to suggest that to Teo before he went to bed. Oh well, the kid's gotta grow up sometime.
Speaking of Facebook, anyone else been following the "If this group reaches 100,000 my girlfriend will have a threesome" saga? Kind of amazing, especially since a) it hit 100,000 in three days, b) it's almost at 300,000 (the point at which the guy promises to publish photos) and c) the participants appear to be roughly split between men and women. Kind of awesome, too.
Wow. I totally thought I'd hit refresh before posting that. Whoops.
I love you guys because you're all insane.
Y'all wait just a sec, okay?
/runs out to get fisheye lens for camera
This is hilarious.
I'm not good at discerning between, "Wait, are we really doing this?" and "Wait, are we really doing this?" so someone let me know if we're really doing this. I can think of no reason not to, assuming you don't have your unfogged alias tattooed on your member.
Prediction: the directory ends up filled with 50 pictures of penises apo downloaded from the internet, and three real pictures from people who end up feeling stupid.
Haven't read the thread, but now have to say that there actually was a pic of my vagina on my old blog, but heavily photoshopped to become an abstract.
I'm not good at discerning between, "Wait, are we really doing this?" and "Wait, are we really doing this?" so someone let me know if we're really doing this.
This was me in October of 2002.
Jesus. Okay, so I'm glad Buck doesn't read the blog. If pictures get posted, can it at least be in some fashion where it will be easy to not see them?
And again, Jesus.
How about an artist's rendering?
You know that if we do this, I'm just going to send in a photoshop blending Jason Fortuny with my cock.
Ok, I've got a tattoo that says "Under Milk Wood, set in the fictional Welsh village of Llareggub, was the first of Dylan Thomas' radio plays to be recorded" (it's the first line of my thesis) and in a couple of minutes of thinking about Madeleine Albright chewing a wasp I'll be ready to go.
Left out the o to google-proof your member?
re: 158
Actually, 'dinna' is some kind of wierd movie bollocks. No-one says 'dinna'.*
Just about everyone pronounces it 'dinnae' with the final syllable to rhyme with 'way' only shorter.
* Actually, before someone points out that their Great-Uncle Hamish says it that way, there probably are some old men who live on farms near Aberdeen and who speak Doric who say it that way, but the basic point still holds.
Thanks ttaM -- I pondered the choice between dinna and dinnae but since I have never heard someone speaking Scots it came down to thinking I've read "I dinna ken" more than "I dinnae ken". Google gives 18000 hits for the formaer, 500 for the latter.
(The top Google hit for "I dinnae ken" is to the following dialog, found at Urban Dictionary:
Hamish: "Di ye ken that lassie tha' lives doon the road?"
Zander: "Naw I dinnae ken her"
Hamish: "Aye ye dae! Ken she's the wan wi the big diddies like?"
Zander: "Aw, I dae ken her noo."
re: 167
Yeah, that's because 90% of the 'fake Scots' on the internet is written by non-speakers. However, the correct pronunciation is here:
http://www.mcgrattan.f2s.com/ken.wav
Sound quality is poor but the mic on my MP3 player is rubbish.
re: 168
Ah, the sophisticated stylings of my native tongue.
166: My grandparents were from rural Aberdeenshire (and thus speaking of the Doric), but they said 'dinnae' too.
It hardly needs saying that I'd participate in the logical sequel.
You mean the one referenced in 142? How?
162 conjures a nice image of Labs using his cock as a stab blender... on Jason Fortuny's face.
The one referenced in 142, I don't know why everyone's kicking about it, Apo did it already.
I would just like to say that I highly approve of the word "rubbish" as adjective.
Ttam is planning to expose the pudenda of his psyche.
177 -- looks more like a predicate nominative to me.
BTW .rM nattarGcM -- is the 'u' in 'pudenda' pronounced 'oo' or 'yoo'?
It's not like you haven't already seen pictures of my pussy.
I say "yoo". Otherwise you'd have a poo-denda, which doesn't sound very appealing.
re: 180
I've always said it as 'oo', however, the OED clearly states that it's 'yoo'. Which makes me very much not an authority on the pronunciation of latinate words.
Otherwise you'd have a poo-denda
Nonono, you'd have a poo-dendum. Pudenda are plural.
You people have actually said the word "pudenda" out loud? I thought it was only found in dictionary entries, following the phrase "vulg: the female".
I've never heard of it used in the vulg way; I've encountered incomprehension because of its obscurity, or because no one hears it pronounced.
I mean that various vulg words in the dictionary have, as their definition, "pudenda".
185 -- but when you read those dictionary entries you've got to pronounce the word in your head right?
Personally, I think "pewdenda" sounds less gross than "pyudenda."
Isn't it only used in the vulg way, first, and second, isn't it, in fact, a not-so-vulg euphemism?
not-so-vulg euphemism
Right, my understanding is it means "shameful parts".
re: 190
Yeah, there's that whole phonaesthetic association with 'putrid' if you pronounce it with the 'y' (i.e. the yogh).
The OED says:
'. 1893 T. M. MADDEN Clin. Gynęcol. v. 59 The value ... of a solution of cocaine freely brushed over the pudendum..is unquestionable.'
and who could possibly deny that?
190: Those look to me like they sound the same (assuming "pew" is pronounced as you would a church bench).
OED says, "neuter gerundive of pud{emac}re to cause shame, ashame, lit. ‘that of which one ought to be ashamed’". Also, that the word refers to genitals, "especially those of a woman". Excellent citation: "The value [for pruritus] of a solution of cocaine freely brushed over the pudendum..is unquestionable." -- 1893 T. M. MADDEN Clin. Gynęcol. -- Does "pruritus" mean what I think it means?
"Pyudenda" are Russian genitals; "pewdenda" are Catholic.
Incidentally, 'pud' is used in Scots slang for penis.* I assume it has the same root.
* And for all I know, in slang elsewhere, I've not heard it used since I was at school.
Does "pruritus" mean what I think it means?
Sadly, no.
This just hit me: many of us may be familiar with the term "punani". Does this have "pudenda" as its root?
This term also starts with "pu" rather than "pyu", possible explaining why people would see "pudenda" and imagine that it begins with "pu".
202 -- "pud" is common among youth of Modesto -- as in "pull your pud" for masturbate.
I assume it has the same root.
*Australian snicker*
202, it is used in the USA as well. I think it dates to less than 100 years ago, though.
re: 204
According to google-searches on teh internets, punani is Hawaiian.
No idea how Ali G picked it up. Then again, Borat's 'jakshemash' catch-phrase in 'Khazak' is just 'how are you?' in Czech.
punani is Hawaiian.
I always thought it came from a Latin root because it is definitely part of the slang associated with Latinos on the US mainland. Possibly because it sounds like "mami" and "papi".
Urban dictionary says:
Function: noun
Plural Form: punani
Etymology: Mod. Hawaiian punani (lit. heavenly flower) from Old Hawaiian pua (blossom); nani (glory, splendor, heavenly)
Of course, that could be a made up or bullshit etymology.
I'm surprised that "punani" is supposed to be Hawaiian. There's a Jamaican dancehall song called "Punanny," by Admiral Bailey. I would have guessed its origin to be African.
Hey so you guys who can know: were any interesting images uploaded to c0ck@unfogged.com?
181: Wow, yours looks just like mine.
202: Might have some relationship to Gaelic, too. AFAIK the word in Irish and Scottish Gaelic both is bod, pronounced like "budh". See the usual old dictionary dance here. And the b in the Gaelic languages is more, is plosive the right word? more p-like than in English.
If I've already shown my erect penis to one Unfogged commenter today, do I get a pass on participation in c/0/c/k/@ action?
One (just one) problem with this project is Chappelle's Theory. Loosely formulated, it runs thus: "I couldn't pick my own cock out of a lineup!'
The validity of Chappelle's Theorem is undertested, so we can argue about it. I happen to think true, but I'm sure Ogged will argue ~true.
216: If we let you get away with that, then Apo's probably off the hook as well; Roberta's been here enough to count as a commenter.
And where would be the fun in letting Apo off the hook?
I couldn't pick my own cock out of a lineup!'
But this says nothing about people in general, just about Mr. Chappelle. So what's to argue about?
Clown, you're saying that Chappelle is so special that he is unique in his inability to differentiate among cocks?
Well he certainly didn't say "Nobody can pick his own cock out of a lineup!" -- he's just talking about himself. I don't see what would be unreasonable about Chappelle and some other people not being able to recognize their own cocks and a different group being able to.
That seems perfectly reasonable. But how large are those two groups? Are they about even, or does one have a clear majority? As I said, I imagine I belong in the former, with Chappelle.
This sounds like an interesting paradox: a penis so unique that it can't be picked out of a lineup.
Or rather, "unique in that it cannot be picked out of a lineup".
Wait, I just now read this thread and am confused. Are we sending cock pics or not? Where is the sign-up sheet?
225 -- Yeah, totally. Send your picture in to c0ck@unfogged.com. (That's a zero in "c0ck".) Most of the other guys on the site have already done it.
Hold your horses, clown. This isn't exactly the sort of project I'm going to undertake here at work, and it'll take me a while to dig up the wide-angle, anyway. Is there a deadline for submissions? (How long will the email address be live?)
And seriously, are we really doing this or not?
And seriously, are we really doing this or not?
I love this question. Seriously, there's no way for you to ever be sure. Until you send the picture in. And then it's too late.
213: All your [illegible] are belong to me!
Once agqin, I take a nap and some thread evolves [devolves?] from Facebook to Scottish cocks.
And people think my brain goes off on tangents...
s/b "again". Brain clearly devolving.
This isn't exactly the sort of project I'm going to undertake here at work
What, you haven't got a flatbed scanner in your office?
Dear persons who have sent in pictures of a chamber of commerce building, chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick, an owl, and glue: those don't count.
I think we should just all send in copies of goatse.
You know, the idea that a man couldn't pick his own cock out of a lineup is just pure bunk. Any healthy adult has had more than enough experience with their own junk to know it from another's.
I guess it's not glue. It's in some sort of tube and is apparently meant for windows and doors, is made with silicone, and is a GE product.
Cause that should count.
Doesn't count because it's obviously not any one person's caulk; it's clearly an image from the web. It's not, like, apostropher's caulk.
239.-- Tits or boobies I could understand. w-lfs-n, are you sure it was an owl?
chocolate chip pancakes and sausage on a stick
I think I know who that was.
And Foghorn Leghorn is LB.
Brilliant
Mocking me for being slow on the uptake? Or did you not get it?
Tits or boobies I could understand.
"Hooters", was my thought.
Did you change the directory these were going to w-lfs-n, you bastard?
(And thanks a lot guys -- I had Brock ready to send his photo in and everything and then Ben busts in with his owls and glue stuff.)
Wait, is this supposed to be our caulk? Or our cork?
(And thanks a lot guys -- I had Brock ready to send his photo in and everything and then Ben busts in with his owls and glue stuff.)
Hey, Brock shouldn't let the mischief others are getting up to stop him from participating, but Clownæ, shouldn't you take the beam from your pants before you encourage others to take the mote from theirs?
249: ogged, are you snooping too?
You know, the idea that a man couldn't pick his own cock out of a lineup is just pure bunk. Any healthy adult has had more than enough experience with their own junk to know it from another's.
If it was taken from above, I'd recognize it. Not if it was taken from the side.
but Clownę, shouldn't you take the beam from your pants
All the work I've done, for nothing.
ogged, are you snooping too?
Fuck yeah.
You weren't fooling anyone, clown. Trust me, if I send a photograph of my cock to the Mineshaft, I'll be doing so with eyes wide open.
And hell, I just might. I'm crazy like that sometimes.
255: This is the place for an incredibly pointless observation that hit me way back when I started reading the Village Voice, about the heterosexism and narcissism of the classic 'phallic symbol' -- rocket ships, skyscrapers, big long straight things, etc. The Voice had an ad for a gay bookstore which must have been called the Unicorn, because the graphic was a unicorn with a curved, blunt-ended horn.
And you know? 'Phallic symbols' don't look much, if anything, like cocks. Cocks are nowhere near straight. Bananas? Look like cocks. Rocketships? Don't look like cocks. The only person who thinks of a cock as a long straight thing is a guy looking down on his own hardon. Women and gay men have a completely different visual sense of 'phallic' than straight men. (You ask 'what about porn?' I'm ignoring it, because it doesn't work with my insane little theory.)
Cocks aren't particularly straight when viewed from above either.
Also bad: guns, some doofus in a hat. Neither of those is actually better than an owl.
In 260, "Cocks" s/b "Teofilo's cocks"
Cocks are nowhere near straight. Bananas? Look like cocks.
I'm sure Buck appreciates having the shape of his cock revealed to all the world. Some cocks are pretty straight.
Teofilo=George Washington?
Seriously, I'm not getting 260. In the absence of a curve to the left or the right, doesn't it look straighter when viewed from above?
262: Well, okay, maybe six or seven of them out of the thirty I have might be straight.
In the absence of a curve to the left or the right, doesn't it look straighter when viewed from above?
I suppose it would.
263: I've seen others. Look, there's a necessary curve in the whole attaching it to the rest of your body bit.
Obviously phallic symbols are just idealizations.
What I'm trying to tell you, LB, is that in no wise does my cock resemble a banana.
And my point in 260 is that even if it looks straighter from above than from other angles (and it probably does), it still doesn't necessarily look straight in the sense that your theory requires.
Some cocks are pretty straight.
Ogged, to sound less gay*, you might want to fein ignorance about intimate geometric details of too many cocks other than one's own.
*NTTAWWT.
270: I would posit that it does. We may be thinking of two different things, though.
Also rocketships and skyscrapers are generally designed without foreskins. What's up with that? I blame the Jews.
269: Sorry to hear that. That must be very difficult for you.
270: Yeah, the point of my theory (which is almost certainly absolute bullshit, this is just the first conversation I've ever seen where it was apropos) is that someone whose primary experience of looking at an erection was looking at someone else's erection probably wouldn't have come up with 'straight' (a primary feature of 'phallic symbols') even as an idealization. For the guy looking at his own, straightness is a feature of a stylized and simplified version; for someone looking at someone else's, not so much.
i don't understand how a cock must [i]necessarily[/] curve, just because it attaches to the body.
I understand LizardBreath's point. It reminds me of something I remember reading about male painters' inaccurate portrayal of breasts, showing a standing or sitting woman with breasts in a form that would not make sense unless she was lying on her back.
[Repressing urge to check LB's theory by generating erection and observing profile in mirror in 15th floor men's room; arguably unprofessional]
Well, in this profession the idea is to act like a dick, not show yours off. YMMV.
277- Hasn't everyone looked at* their cock in the mirror, from a wide variety of angles? Even if never intentionally, I think it just sort of happens through the course of one's life.
* read: admired
Maybe there's a men's room on another floor where it's more professional?
Well, yes, but I usually don't have an erection when shaving.
Well, there's the Australian consulate on the next floor up....
It reminds me of something I remember reading about male painters' inaccurate portrayal of breasts, showing a standing or sitting woman with breasts in a form that would not make sense unless she was lying on her back.
?
There's a Mannerist painting by (I think) Pontormo that features perfectly depicted silicon-enhanced breasts, 450 years too early.
The wife of a guy I climbed with a few years back used to tell a relevant story. Apparently in her high school, some guy's girlfriend told so many people about his noticeable sideways curvature that his nickname was Boomer (Boomerang).
And upon a quick reading of the thread, while this is a poor nickname for Ogged, it just might work for Teo.
280: its more of a sticking it in various objects with holes, to see if its bigger than the hole is.
I am beginning to get the impression that the men of unfogged are completely ashamed of their acoutrements.
I'm also amused that Ogged's all "I'll be so embarrassed if anyone does this" and then next thing you know he's snooping.
I'm still waiting for a ruling on preferred angle.
I find myself unable to pierce bitchphd's sly psychological gambit.
I'm also amused that Ogged's all "I'll be so embarrassed if anyone does this" and then next thing you know he's snooping.
I'll be embarrassed if this becomes the blog of which people say "Isn't that where they all put up pictures of their cocks?" But of course I'll look if I can.
I find myself unable to pierce bitchphd's sly psychological gambit.
Probably because she misspelled "accoutrements."
293: Look, the one time I got Buck to read the damn blog was when w-lfs-n put up the chicken-fucking post. Is there anywhere but up to go from there?
293- yes, such a thing would destroy unfogged's hard-earned and well-deserved reputation for gentility and gravitas.
192: Pierce me, baby.
Anyway, sly is about the last thing you could call me.
291: Ben, it's big, but it's not that big.
297- you want to be pierced in your shameful parts? Kinky.
And the winner gets his cock immortalised in plaster.
299: My Ob/Gyn is a sweet young thing from the Midwest. She confided that she hadn't even known one could be pierced in the fiddly bits before she came to California.
Feh. I was busy.
So, anyways, I already posted way back when that I would post a picture of my cock. And the problems with lighting and whatnot can be resolved easily enough. Just include a ruler.
So, am I supposed to write www.unfogged.com on it or not? I oughta right BitchPhD on it. Shit, I wish I still had one of those ruboff transfer letter packs.
So what is the precise email address of this here troll?
max
['I don't give a shit whether I'm the only one or not.']
Send it to c0ck@unfogged.com. That's cee zero cee kay at unfogged.com, ladies and gents, limited time only.
See, this is the kind of thing that I could probably be peer-pressured into if I thought the results would be really funny, but somehow taking a close-up of one's erect dick just seems a bit creepy. How about a meet-up at a nude beach somewhere?
Do you know of any suitable nude beaches?
I do indeed, but the one nearest me might be a bit remote for the rest of you.
This is where we need the eccentric billionaire lurker to buy everyone tickets to Hawaii.
The thing is, Dave, that it seems like anywhere else in the world we might meet would be a bit remote for you. And probably less fun for everyone.
Hey, Maui's good for me. With the current interisland airfare wars, I don't even need an eccentric billionaire. And for the rest of you, there must be someone with a few bucks and a severe need for good karma somewhere in LB's client base.
(And I really, really want to watch the hidden-camera video of the explanation of what she needs the money for.)
See, this is the kind of thing that I could probably be peer-pressured into
Tsk. Don't give into peer-pressure!
if I thought the results would be really funny, but somehow taking a close-up of one's erect dick just seems a bit creepy.
It IS creepy. So are the ads on MySpace, the President of the United States and the phrase 'human resources'. Welcome to the New Millennium.
However...sending in a picture of my cock on my ex-'s birthday/the anniversary of 9-11 to a bunch of pretend internet-friends because I promised to do so previously in a ridiculous thread about cock-sizing and because I have completely lost all interest in sex is high fucking comedy mister, and don't you forget it.
Unfortunately, now I need to get the damn thing up... I demand hot meaty pendantry from Ben w-lfs-n!
How about a meet-up at a nude beach somewhere?
Sounds wrinkly.
max
['Stacks of cold dimes!']
I made my husband read this thread, but then I said "this is just going to make it hard to explain when you come home to find "unfogged.com" written across my tits with a sharpie."
Wouldn't it actually make it much easier to explain?
easy to explain from the pure comprehension perspective, but more difficult to explain in the "gain retrospective approval/excuse" sense. for some reason he doesn't want me to show my googley-hoohole to all my internet friends, either.
Not to all of them, but what about a subset of them? It could consist of only me; I wouldn't mind.
Hrmm. I am disappointed. I had perfectly good cock pictures, with a ruler: I nuked 'em. Damn.
And, gosh, man, it just wasn't going that well. So ya'll will just have to be satisfied with the picture you got, and maybe I'll get an improved one, and even better! I might even remember the marker!
max
['Well, fuck.']
That's not what your mom said, 'Postropher.
Also, I can't believe I completely missed this thread until this morning. Fucking mono.
A's husband emailed me this morning about something--should I chastise him for his proprietary attitude towards his wife's hoohole in my reply?
Oh, and I'm sorry you have mono, apo.
