It was this great moment of deflation, from being somewhat idiotically pleased with myself to a quick recollection that yes, grownups on playground equipment do look kind of foolish.
At least he didn't say "old woman".
That would have been interesting: "I didn't know crones could do that!"
Perhaps we should start calling LB "Dennis." But I think that one's taken.
I was walking me dogs along a 7 miles linear park the other day when I suddenly encountered a brand new Fitness Station. Click around the link, this one had maybe 10 different pieces of this equipment. Never saw one before, read all the instructions, marveled at the softness and durability of the surface, like soft concrete it was, and moved on. Neat.
6: Sorry, sometimes I forget that not everyone knows most of the script of Holy Grail by heart. And the second reference is to this readable rightie (although I haven't read him enough recently to know whether he's still fun to read; the fiction/parody stuff got old for me pretty fast).
I wish they had playground equipment for adults. You know what I love? The rings, which are functionally similar to monkey bars, but more fun. And the high bar, for doing cherry drops. Do they have these things at gyms? I haven't been to a gym since I finished school.
Come on, LB. Everyone knows what "older woman" is a code word for. He was saying, "Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson."
In that case, that's one precocious seven-year-old.
11: At the risk of extending that thought a little too far, there was an article about that the other day.
Hey LB, we were in your neighborhood today -- visiting a friend who just moved in on Cooper St. I had not been up there in a couple of years. Man what a lovely neighborhood.
9 -- I'm wit'ya. Also nowadays they have this way cool thing which you can hang on that slides along a track -- you grab onto the bar and jump and your momentum carries the bar to the other end of the track, where there is a platform you jump on to. High tech! I want one big enough for me.
LB, you'll swing on the monkey bars but you won't go to a fun party? Hypocrite.
(I can't swing on the monkey bars. I hate you.)
Thesis: Adults would stay in better shape if there were adult-sized playgrounds where we could play, rather than soul-sucking gyms where we work out.
Thesis: Adults would stay in better shape if there were adult-sized playgrounds where we could play, rather than soul-sucking gyms where we work out.
Or just randomly-scattered obstacle courses and piles of cardboard boxes! Weeee!
LB, you'll swing on the monkey bars but you won't go to a fun party? Hypocrite.
Uh, why? These are completely different activities.
I agree with 16. I, personally, would be in better shape if/when I'd/I'll start doing yoga again.
"would" s/b "would/will"; "I'd/I'll" s/b "I'd/I".
Thank you, err again.
Thesis: Adults would stay in better shape if there were adult-sized playgrounds where we could play, rather than soul-sucking gyms where we work out.
Try climbing gyms. Not quite a playground, but pretty fun.
Should've asked while you were here.
I was afraid that if I brought it up at dinner ogged would want in, and I could never be part of a threesome involving two guys and a girl, because, you know, I'm a feminist.
ogged would want in,
So to speak.
You know, it's funny. Every time I try to get some guy to rim me, that's what he says. Weird.
The solution is obviously to ask ogged, the one person who couldn't use that excuse.
Yeah, but he doesn't like slutty girls. Sigh.
Rim jobs are slutty now? Good to know.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Asking for rim jobs on the first date is not in The Rules. (Also, asking for a rim job when you were supposed to be pantsing him was a betrayal of trust.)
But never mind.
The point is, I proposed no rimming. Only, of course, because I feared that the harsh double rejection of Ben and Ogged at the same time would crush my self-esteem forever.
Not, of course, because of some stupid anti-feminist Rules. John, I'm surprised by you.
A pity rim job would have been even worse, of course.
15: I'll go to a fun party if invited. I'll just spend it cowering next to the dip until I find some better place to hide from all the fun.
I have no actual dignity that would get in the way of fooling around on playground equipment, I'm just scared of parties.
In a lazier, but related, vein, I regret that pigtails are so canonically a little-kid hairdo. They look good on me, dammit! And yet they seem unlikely to contribute postitively to my projection of gravitas.
But kinkiness, yes. Especially with a plaid skirt, pennyloafers, and a lollipop.
36: I've seen people pull pigtails off in a sardonic hipster kind of way. I, myself, am completely unable to communicate irony through a hairstyle, but if you can, it's a possibility.
Pigtails, as LB says, can look good in a hipsterish way. Doesn't necessarily have to be sardonic, as such.
P.S. Way to go on the monkey bar thing -- I haven't been able to do that for years. It takes a fairly decent bodyweight/upper-body strength ratio.
You're supposed to stop at each one to do a one-arm pullup.
39: As I said, I was idiotically pleased with myself. My weak link is actually grip strength, I think -- I have a fairly strong back, but weak hands.
Hey BTW LB, do you know about this place? Their fried pork is some of the finest fried pork.
I walk right by them -- if it's the place I think it is, they're half a block from Sally's school -- and I think we've gotten pork from there. That's good stuff, but I have to admit that we don't get it too often, thinking that "Good as it tasted, I just ate a mouthful of fried pork fat."
re: 41
I have decent grip strength compared to my (relative to bodyweight) pathetic bicep and shoulder strength -- years of playing guitar, etc
I could just hang by my hands for ages -- it's the levering oneself with one arm thing I suck at.