'...most people understand that an animal does not necessarily cease being or qualifying as an animal or even being referred to as an animal once it's dead.'
Apparently my plans to have sex with a T-bone steak are ruined.
And Portnoy continues to complain.
Oh thank goodness. D.C. may not have a vote in Congress, but we can still fornicate with meat products. That's almost a perfect trade-off.
A dead body has exactly the same configuration as a living one; but for all that is not a man. So also no hand of bronze or wood or constituted in any but the appropriate way can possibly be a hand in more than name. For like a physician in a painting, or like a flute in a sculpture, in spite of its name it will be unable to do the office which that name implies. Precisely in the same way no part of a dead body, such I mean as its eye or its hand, is really an eye or a hand.
Oh yes, meat products are bringing sexy back.
I can't believe someone beat me to the damn Aristotle by comment 5. In any case, the shocking thing here is that it was just some animal he found in a ditch. You don't know where that thing's been!
Even worse, that's one of the few passages of Aristotle outside of NE that I've read, since I had to look at a paper on this during a search. Curses.
Yeah, fucking roadkill is pretty weird.
That said . . . criminal? Again with the crazy pc sensitivity nonsense. Next thing you know, no one will let us fuck vegetables any more, either.
6: When I am offered that dish I will know I am in hell.
9: There is an interesting conceptual issue here. Few, I think, would say that a woman who masturbates with a cucumber is fucking the cucumber. But most would say that the guy who fucked roadkill is actually fucking it, rather than merely masturbating with it.
Size seems to become a factor here. It seems natural to say that guys fuck their real dolls, rather than masturbate with them. On the other hand, it doesn't seem right to say that women fuck that mechanical bull thing.
I guess a lot of factors are interacting here, including size, animateness, and probably also whether you are penetrating or being penetrated.
This is an interesting problem, and I don't know why no philosopher has written a book on it.
I don't know why no philosopher has written a book on it.
Just as soon as Labs gets tenure.
it doesn't seem right to say that women fuck that mechanical bull thing.
If the mechanical bull had a penis, it would. What about the Sybian? Also fuckable. If there was a real doll with a penis, I would say that I fucked it.
If there was a real doll with a penis, I would say that I fucked it.
The simple existence of such a doll would not be sufficient for you to say you fucked it.
(And what about your Canadian Carpenter? How's he gonna feel?)
11: Women don't fuck anything; they are fucked.
I was actually thinking of the sybian when I said mechanical bull thing.
The problem, as B alludes to in 17, is whether we want to be completely descriptive in our conceptual analysis, thus accepting all of the misogynist baggage of our current concept of sex.
I never like being completely descriptive, but I am reluctant to simply draw the boundaries around sex the way I think they should be drawn, thus allowing m.leblanc to fuck anything with a penis.
We need some fucking reflective equilibrium.
I feel the need to mention this book.
Victimless crime. Where are the Libertarians? Where's the ACLU? Even NAMBLA won't touch this one.
17: Unless, of course, they own one of these, in which case, deer in any state of being [and Rick Santorum] are not safe.
21: Victimless, you say? Do you not take into account the great emotional distress suffered by Bambi's surviving family? "Grandma was hit by a car, then her decomposing corpse was violated by a human" is not something one wishes to tell the young around the dinner meadow. Next, you'll be advocating so-called "consensual" sex with reindeer just because they landed on your roof and "tempted" you. From there, it's a short hop to fucking the Easter Bunny. It's the thin end of the wedgie; next, you'll be advocating gay marriage.
Isn't fucking the Easter Bunny a routine part of the DE family Easter celebration? What weird ethnicity are you, anyway?
That's how you make baby Easter bunnies.
I thought that was how you got the Easter bunny to lay eggs.
Of course, you have to make sure you're not dealing with EggBeaters.
fucking the Easter Bunny
What kind of sickos are you people? The Easter Bunny is for flogging, not for fucking.
27: And turn-about is fair play. [nsfw]
Strangely necrophilia appears to be legal in Wisconsin.
30: Yeah, I'm confused by this ruling because it sets a weird precedent, one that was introduced by the defense. If you send a guy to jail for fucking a dead animal, does that mean necrophilia is rape? And does it matter how much of the body is there? Is all sex with no-longer-living things non-consentual sex? If I rub a rabbit fur over my crotch, is that bestiality? If I (gross, but not unforeseeable) touch myself with the ancient bone of a dead child, is that molesting a minor?
Wiconsis is also the leading cannibal state.
Don't hold anything back, AWB.
Perhaps time-since-birth would get you off on pedophilia charges, though.
gross, but not unforeseeable
My word, you live an interesting life.
32, 33: I didn't mean ME, of course. I had a long conversation with the Chestnut about this issue on the phone last week, and he brought up these possibilities in support of the defense's argument.
And here I was imagining you sitting there with a box full of ancient children's bones, casting furtive glances at its contents and wondering "do I dare?"
36: Conversation between me and bones:
"I love you."
"Don't touch us! You are 27! Our love is forbidden!"
"You're not goin' nowhere, bones."
"Noooooooo!"
"Wait. Is that a knock at the door? The LAW!"
"The LAW?! Hooray! We're saved!"
"Nope, just the Indian food delivery guy. Too bad for you, tiny adorable child bones! You are sexxxy!"
"Waah! We want our moms!"
A hideous silence ensues. Sorry, guys. I went, as they say, TOO FAR.
I thought it was hilarious. But I just got here, and I prepare my jokes very slowly and methodically.
38: Nah, I think the dc meetup just pushed it off the recent comments.
i hope you gave the bones some gulab jamin, at least.
Not at all. I, at least, was just awestruck by the brilliance of 37.
Especially "Waaahhh! We want our moms!"
the trouble is, if you waited a few years until the bones were 18 years old, they'd have lost the freshness of youth.
43: So am I better or worse than Humbert Humbert, in this scenario? As far as the fictional pedonecrophilic me is concerned, they are eternally 11 years old.
44: You, at least, had the good sense to call out for Indian. Humbert has nothing on you, AWB.
The bones are asking for it. Look at 'em. Go on. They want it.
see how they're rubbing themselves against each other? they're all worked up now. stop now and you're a bone-tease. it'd be wrong not to finish what you started. c'mon, baby.
pfffft! aaah. Kay, I'm going out for Indian food!
They're so young and soft and still cartilaginous, a bit! I will wait ANOTHER YEAR.
(I'll beseriously embarrassed if that killed the comment thread. Maybe I would really just go get Indian food.)
Your approval touches me deeply, Ben.
53: but not as deeply as the bones.
Just flogging a dead deer: this time I killed the thread.
I guess that means it's time for someone to fuck it. Someone not in Wisconsin.
No wonder your reputation is in tatters, AWB.
