I forgot: here's Lovelady's column.
That article doesn't make sense to me. How come the Anti-christ says "I am calling to publicly apologize..."? A phone call seems more like a private apology to me.
Something tells me that Obama himself needs no wingman.
2: The call was being recorded and broadcast on the radio, though.
A phone call broadcast on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me isn't quite private.
I really want to go see the live taping of "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me..." I have been meaning to do that for some time now.
Obama got game. And a 'pocalypse.
Although WWDTM is the less objectionable of the two aired in DC, I still consider humorous quiz shows to be one of the banes of NPR. Other items on the list: stories about socially conscious hiphop and ironic retellings of bible stories. I'd probably rank the quiz shows right between those two.
What about impossibly urbane one featuring well-spoken british ladies and gents? Does it even exist anymore? I chanced upon it once many years ago and promptly forgot the show's name.
Obama plays a wicked purple flute.
Besides the Antichrist thing, he just seems to skinny. He should be reunning marathons or something.
He's admitted that he still smokes (cigarettes).
14: Wow. I may have to volunteer for his campaign now.
11: Is that the one where they were explicitly allowed to drink during the show?
11 -- Perhaps you're thinking of "Car Talk"?
Yeah, if there's one descriptor that springs to mind about Car Talk, it's "impossibly urbane". Or maybe "British".
But would he apologize for cockblocking w-lfs-n at UnfoggeDCon?
You know this can only end with you falling for me, and falling irrefragably, right, Sommer? If there's to be any satisfaction in this narrative at all.
Oops, sorry, w-lfs-n -- this thread is for professional commenters only.
(Says the guy in cotton slacks and comfy loafers)
I'm pretty sure the narrative would work just fine if you make Sommer realize that she'd like to realize her latent lesbianism, which results in her taking up with...YOUR SISTER, after which they'll decide to have children, with Sommer getting sperm from an anonymous donor who turns out to be...YOUR LONG LOST BROTHER. Then, you'll start a blog called Krewl Sommer, to which you will post precisely once each day at 11:59pm the precise number of tears you cried that day.
I think I'd prefer the narrative where I get to home with Sen. Obama. He's dreamy.
Something tells me that Obama himself needs no wingman.
This is somewhat common, if unsubstantiated, knowledge.
I also remember the show Ben is talking about, which required panel participants to make up shaggy dog stories culminating in a pun. The one I remember is "voles who came to scarf remained to play."
Yeah, it was Ben's kind of show all right.
Tears aren't actually discrete enough for that to be a workable plan. Anyway, the two aren't mutually exclusive; it could be that Sommer's passion for me, which I will high-handedly spurn (an action I will regret in later years), will turn to the nearest w-lfs-nian object to hand, viz, my sister, etc etc etc.
This is somewhat common, if unsubstantiated, knowledge.
Aww, don't tell me he cheats on his wife.
the nearest w-lfs-nian object to hand, viz, my sister
w-lfs-n's sister is w-lfs-n's wingman, you see.
Aww, don't tell me he cheats on his wife.
This is the implication. I hasten to add that this is entirely scurrilous and unsubstantiated gossip that I hear from completely unreliable sources who generally meet people who talk about these things whether they know them or not.
Actually, at the time I heard it, while I could recognize the awesomeness of the shaggy dog stories at the end, I'm not sure I knew what a shaggy dog story was—I probably was familiar with examples, from my dad and from Pogo, but I hadn't ever, like, theorized them, nor, perhaps, did I know the name.
Did that one furtive radio experience play a decisive role in shaping me into the ravening pun-monger you know and fear today, or is it simply an instance of retrospectively shaping the parts of the work into an (always fictive) organic unity?
Anyway, slol, do you remember the name?
Anyway, slol, do you remember the name?
I'm trying to recall but got nothin' so far.
w-lfs-n's sister is w-lfs-n's wingman, you see.
More the other way around, it would seem.
"that I hear from completely unreliable sources who generally meet people who talk about these things whether they know them or not."
Sorry, slo, I was pulling your chain.
Strictly speaking, since the stories end in puns, they aren't real shaggy dog stories.
God, I hope there's nothing to those scurrilous and unsubstantiated rumors.
I dunno, if the worst you can say about a politician is that he sleeps around...
The game show was called "Says You", wasn't it?
I dunno, if the worst you can say about a politician is that he sleeps around...
Second worst. He smokes cigarettes!!!!!!!!
if the worst you can say about a politician is that he sleeps around...
Then you can impeach him!
41- I don't think that's an image the Democrats need right now. 2008 primary showdown between an adulter and slick willy's wife = not pretty.
No, My Word!, the original of which "Says You!" is a pallid imitation.
He smokes cigarettes!
Compared to Clinton's adventures with the Human Humidor, that may no longer seem so out there.
Human Humidor
That was just something I didn't need to know about. Thanks, motherfucking Ken Starr.
Who was the last president to openly smoke cigarettes? Roosevelt?
44: The pathetic thing is that this isn't a joke.
I don't think that's an image the Democrats need right now
Google isn't even turning up rumors of this for me. Though, rest assured, that whisper campaign would get used against any young, attractive, black candidate.
Both Eisenhower and Johnson smoked. I think Johnson smoked 3 packs a day.
just in case, what we need is someone to follow him around from now on, a professional cock block.
Though, rest assured, that whisper campaign would get used against any young, attractive, black candidate.
Oh, you'll have to show some evidence if you want to make assertions like that.
On a related note, I think it's time for Obama to grow a moustache, or better yet a full beard. More Frederick Douglass, less Usher.
Scratch that, looks like Eisenhower managed to quit before he became president.
a professional cock block
Or many such, a cock-block bloc.
You're right, I forgot about Johnson. I think Eisenhower quit before becoming president? Maybe he just started doing it secretly.
The DNC should look into this. I'd sign up.
58 -- No, I think you only need one. Perhaps a British fellow, a cock-block bloke.
To answer your question, a cock-block bloc would block all the cock a cock-block bloc could block, if a cock-block bloc could block cock.
If he makes it to the white house, they could merely surround the environs near Pennsylvania Ave., designated the cock block block.
They could seal his trousers shut with cock block caulk.
How much cock could Doc Ock block, if Doc Ock could block cock?
63: And if they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, the cock block block would be chock-a-block with the cock block bloc.
Or use some sort of electric cock block shock.
Nice try apostropher, but what is a "cloc"?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Let's just organize a cock block kaffeeklatsch.
THE LAST WORD OF 66 USED TO BE "CLOC"
LOL APOSTROPHER REDACTED HISTORY AND HE'LL DO IT AGAIN ROFL
Did someone give the actual link already? Here is a link to the actual clip, which is reasonable and reasonably short.
I've got such a blog crush on opinionated grandma.
Also, while the front end of the site may be running faster, the back end has gotten much, much slower. Like, for example, when you try to get to the comments through the MT control panel for whatever reason.
Opinionated Grandma should comment on this thread.
Just when I was worried the cock joke content was getting a bit thin here
Like, for example, when you try to get to the comments through the MT control panel for whatever reason.
God obviously didn't mean for you to have those powers, apoptosis.
much, much slower...when you try to get to the comments through the MT control panel for whatever reason
That's because we now have all the (220,000+) comments loaded in the database. Screw up carefully, apostropher.
And if they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, the cock block block would be chock-a-block with the cock block bloc.
This is the worst Dr. Seuss story EVER!
Major points to Obama on this one. Truly a class act.
73, 79: I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. How do you wear your nose ring, text?
A Glock could cock-block a cock en bloc. Or a we could get him a varsity sock.
Thanks for the clip, arthegall. It's funnier than reading the exchange.
We could just pretend to interfere with the Obenis, then it would be a mock cock block on Barack.
Step 1) Chimpeach the chimperor
Step 2) Chimpeach the other chimperor
Step 3) President Pelosi!
Step 4) She gets seduced by Obama and gets impeached for no good reason
Step 5) President Obama, LOL
The step 4->step 5 transition wants explication.
The documentary film about the mock cock bloc will almost certainly be pure schlock.
I figured there was a tacit stealing of underpants.
sorry "other chimperor" s/b "Dicktator" lol
Your plan will fail if you go on the basis that there are two chimperors.
No, it could be better, Grandma. During the primary campaign, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama spend a good deal of time admiring each other, thinking about it each, and then, the night of the first debates, the give and take is furious, vicious--engaging, stimulating.... After they two collapse, exhausted, spent, naked, they realize that theirs is a passion that cannot be denied. They form a joint ticket---what the hey, with Hillary on top---and usher in the Apocalypse.
God, would a HRC/Obama ticket make some heads explode.
I want to hear more about Opinionated Grandma's Chimpeachment program. Do we really each get one? One for us each?
The problem with that plan, Jackmormon, is that it doesn't involve chimpeachment. You're just going to let the chimperor step down in 2009?
how will we pay for it? will anybody get two?
Does the OG dare to eat a Chimpeach?
Someone get him some white flannel trousers, and send him to the Chimbeach.
I think you could sell the Clinton/Obama ticket in 93 to the fundies and make it a winner. Clinton and Bama are both well known to be the antichrist. Combining two antichrists in one ticket would be like mutiplying two negative numbers: you get a positive number, which in this case means (antichrist)x(antichrist)=basically the second coming of the Messiah.
But even one antichrist would produce the second coming of the Messiah. Logically the fundies should welcome the ascension of the antichrist. It's just hard to get them to vote for him, which is why chimpeachment might be a better way of achieving Armageddon.
99: It's a Leninist gambit to hasten the End.
I'm in favor of chimpdicting the chimperor and can wait until His and Her AntiChristnesses ascend the Peacock Throne to do so.
Logically the fundies should welcome the ascension of the antichrist.
Yeah, so, do they ever say anything like "Obama's the antichrist, we have to stop him!"? Because you can't, like, stop the antichrist. It's written! Shouldn't they be creaming themselves over the antichrist, as a sign of the approaching second coming?
chimpdicting
BRILLIANT! Chimpeach the chimperor and indickt the Dicktator
102: shouldn't that be mounting the Peacock Throne?
Can I name mine Edmund?
Your antichrist?
SORRY TO HAVE SIDETRACKED THIS THREAD
SOMEONE POST A NEW ONE GOD PLEASE
OPEN THREAD
Sure he talks the cock-block talk but can he walk the cock-block walk?
Then it's ship-shape in my opinion. Next issue!
Where is OG's god now? All these threads seem to be "closed."
Do you remember the Onion article about how the Supreme Court officially declared a cock-block on a guy who had been getting more than his fair share of action?
We must stalk Barack around the clock, lest the cock block bloc find their man shocked, rocked, put in the dock or even the stocks on the boardwalk, where would flock crowds to gawk and mock, with "ahahaha, macaca with his stalk out of wedlock."
Jeezus, ogged, don't get serious. We were just funnin' around.
This happened at Sout/hern Illi/nois University. Carbon/dale + Barack Obama = nothing but trouble.
Actually it happened at SIU-Edwards/ville.
Oh well. It was a good theory. I think I'll stick with it.
Becks,
Do you know why the line-height sometimes goes haywire in posts and comments, as in the post linked in 117, though more typically in ones that contain blockquote tags?
I think it has something to do with the encoding used for the archives and whether there are explicit paragraph HTML tags or whether it just assumes them from line breaks.
"I beleive Obama to be completely posseessed,"
Wasn't that a great line?
Now if only someone can cock-block Republicans so they can't reproduce.
Zogby: Bush at an alltime low 30%. Want to get that number even lower? When he says that he talks to families that die, when wings take dream, that working parents put food on their families, that OB/GYNs ought to practice their love for women, laugh at him. Use those index fingers to point at him while you do so.
And then, for that final, delicious Scanners moment, tell him that the twins had a threesome with Hugo Chavez in Argentina.
54: LBJ also quit smoking before asuming the presidency, after a heart attack, even though, as he said, "I'd rather cut my pecker off." His method was interesting: He got a pack of his favorite brand, opened it, pulled a cigarette halfway out, and set the pack opn his bedside table. Did the same thing in his office. And as far as history records, never smoked one. The story has a happy ending though: Once he retired, he smoked as much as he liked.
(Puffing away as I type.)