Re: Last big push

1

This series of posts on Althouse deserves a Pulitzer.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:13 PM
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s/cumbaya/comebaya/g;


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:17 PM
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She can't spell "Kumbayah"?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:17 PM
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That was a commenter, B.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:19 PM
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...if they gave out a Pulitzer for gay.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:19 PM
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Okay, fine. She also can't spell "presumed," I point out in a pathetic attempt to save face.

FWIW, I object to the easy equation you're making, Labs, between "the granola set" and "liberals." Some libs are annoying as shit, but a lot of the folks I think of as being pretty granola are not, in fact, annoying, and not all libs are granola, anyway.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:19 PM
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Ok, commenter then. My bad. And I realize that 6 kind of proves your point, what with its annoying earnest pedantry. Bite me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:20 PM
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B, have you been to Madison? My impression was that it's a bit like Ithaca, which made me want to vote for Barry Goldwater.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:20 PM
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Also, B, when you call them "libs" it reminds me of Rush Limbaugh. Hot!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:22 PM
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That is a beautiful comment. It is like fortified whine.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:22 PM
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Does anybody here know how to Madison?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:22 PM
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Asshole!


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:30 PM
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I accidentally voted for Althouse! I think this is probably my guilty conscience speaking.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:30 PM
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Can Madison really be any worse than Berkeley? Except for the many commonly known ways in which places in the middle of the country are worse than places on the coasts, that is.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:33 PM
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"They are arrogant caricatures of themselves as the prsumed leaders of the unwashed illiterati that exist outside the hallowed halls of academe like the farmers markets of old set up outside the gates of the castle."

Does this sentence have any meaning?



Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:35 PM
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14: stereotypically nice people, actual seasons, farmland?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:37 PM
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The problem with a concept like "arrogant caricatures of themselves" is that it opens up the possibility of infinite regress. They are caricatures of something, that something being themselves, such that one ends up with caricatures of caricatures of caricatures..... It's not clear exactly where the second half of the cited sentence falls in this cascading caricature -- it seems itself to be a caricature, but on a certain level, that would make it a straight description.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:41 PM
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17: Thanks, Adam! Now, I understand!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:44 PM
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Farmland!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:44 PM
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14 -- My brother, who grew up in Modesto and went to college in Madison, described it as very similar to Berkeley. Note that Madison's big asset is The Onion.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:49 PM
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20 -- Not any more, it ain't.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:51 PM
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I thought Madison's biggest asset was that one deli/restaurant/store.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:54 PM
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Um. First off, Madison is where the New Left decided that what the city really needed was a better bond rating.

Second, most of the Madison crew of the Onion left for Brooklyn years and years ago, when the editorial offices moved to across the street from the Kingdom Hall in far, far west Chelsea.

Third, more people in Madison know who Pinkus McBride is than they do Althouse. And she knows it.


Posted by: Halfway Down | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:54 PM
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Or maybe I'm thinking of Ann Arbor.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:55 PM
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24: You are probably thinking of Zingermans in Ann Arbor.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 2:59 PM
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25: I sure am now, which doesn't do me much good 600 miles away. Thanks a lot.


Posted by: Ubu Imperator | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 3:05 PM
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Isn't the saddest thing about Althouse's post that it's a transparent effort to push her "Best Centrist Blog" cred, when she's down 2:1 and has No.Plausible.Hope. of winning her silly contest?

Or was that being taken as read? I have a headache today, I'm not doing unspoken assumptions very well.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 3:23 PM
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Has anyone seen the new entry? About going to a conservaitve conference:

"I am struck -- you may think it is absurd for me to be suddenly struck by this -- but I am struck by how deeply and seriously libertarians and conservatives believe in their ideas. I'm used to the way lefties and liberals take themselves seriously and how deeply they believe. Me, I find true believers strange and -- if they have power -- frightening. And my first reaction is to doubt that they really do truly believe.

One of the reasons 9/11 had such a big impact on me is that it was such a profound demonstration of the fact that these people are serious. They really believe.

I need to be more vigilant."

Althouse compares conservatives to terrorists? She needs to be more vigilant about taking them seriously? Has there been some kind of intervention?


Posted by: Trevor | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 4:04 PM
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If we had been more vigilant against conservatives on 9/11...

Althouse is striking me as someone who wants to be a big-time conservative blogger, but not only lacks the chops, but lacks some of the starry-eyed true believer mentality. The problem is, the only way she knows how to blog is by assaulting the opposition like she is a true believer, because that's what the Big Boys do.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:00 PM
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Actually, that entry Trevor cites gives me some hope. If Althouse spends more time in real life surrounded by RedState cultural warriors, maybe she'll start to read her comments section differently.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:12 PM
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30: Unless the comments section has changed a ton since I stopped visiting, the RedStaters tendency to preface anything with "I love Althouse, Atrios is teh Sux0r" seems to make that unlikely.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:15 PM
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I voted for Ann, thus canceling out my prior vote from yesterday and leaving me neutral and feeling clean. I can't hate the crazy.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:22 PM
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33

I don't know when you stopped reading, Pooh, but pretty much only the stubborn and the crazy are still posting at RedState now: the kind of people who would see "Project Runway" or "American Idol" as symptions of our civilizational decline and leftist propaganda for promiscuous use of birth control. Not amusing!

(I don't think I've ever notice Althouse's name pop up there, though I don't read very deeply.)


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:30 PM
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Tim, would you feel better or worse if I told you that was flat ridiculous?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:30 PM
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33: Sorry for the confusion JM, I was speaking of Althouse's redstater-like commentariat rather than the actual denizens of Bizzaro World.


Posted by: Pooh | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:32 PM
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36

Oh. Well, yes, I'm also hoping she might learn to read past her commenters' flattery to take their reactionary views more seriously, but, as you note, flattery can be very persuasive.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:37 PM
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Off-topic: I am miserably depressed. Can we have a new fun thread for the express purpose of fomenting fun?


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:37 PM
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Depends, slol. "That" being which?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:41 PM
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Can we have a new fun thread for the express purpose of fomenting fun?

I was going to search Match.com for our semi-regular Friday night ridiculous profile party, but 1) they now require a sign-up before you can browse and 2) you humorless me-hater, you would have complained about that anyway.

That said, I'm sorry you're depressed, you humorless etc., and I'll look for something that might lead to fun.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:45 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that you're depressed, Jones. I'm also sorry to have to say that I fear we lack critical mass for fun-generating threads.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:45 PM
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You people are just addicted to silly contrarianism. Berkeley's a nice place.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:50 PM
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37: No, not miserable depression! Miserable depression sucks ass. If no one here will be fun, I recommend an old Marilyn Monroe movie and a box of chocolate and a big pot of chai or something that isn't booze (though fuck it, if you want booze, have booze), and just fucking sit in bed and veg out. That kind of thing usually gets me through the really bad days okay.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 5:53 PM
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Berkeley will always be home to me, B. It's just that living there for thirty years has done very silly things to my parents' voting patterns. In Berkeley, they're stodgy conservatives, but if they were plunked down in any other part of the country, they'd instantly become frothing radicals. They're aware of this, however, which distinguishes them from La Althouse.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:01 PM
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I'm sorry, but anyone who calls Madison a remote outpost cannot possibly be taken seriously. Ever been to, say, the Amazon or Congo Basin, Ms. Althouse?


Posted by: Invigilator | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:01 PM
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I recommend an old Marilyn Monroe movie and a box of chocolate and a big pot of chai or something that isn't booze (though fuck it, if you want booze, have booze), and just fucking sit in bed and veg out.

B, if I did that every time I felt miserably depressed I'd end up like Mr. Creosote.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:03 PM
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43: Oh, well, yeah. But whatever, being moderate in Berkely or another liberal haven is nothing to be ashamed of.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:03 PM
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45: Not *every* time. Just on the really black days.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:04 PM
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Or hey, popcorn! Not fattening, and you can chomp it down for *hours*.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:05 PM
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49

44: It's one of those 'flyover country'-type jokes that are so emblematic of intolerance when liberals tell them.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:07 PM
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My prescription for miserable depression is to learn a new physical activity that is sufficiently difficult and demanding that you won't be able to think about anything but the task at hand for a few hours. So lately I've taken up ice skating. On weekdays, it's cheap!

Of course, on really miserably depressed days it's hard to make myself get out of the house and take part in any activity at all. Hence, sitting at home, surfing the net, &c.


Posted by: Junior Mint | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:09 PM
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What I mean is, I'm sorry, strasmangelo jones. Feel better.


Posted by: Junior Mint | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:09 PM
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52

Here is a joke of sorts.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:10 PM
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This cracked me up.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:11 PM
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54

53 is sad. You're a bad person, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:13 PM
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55

This is an excellent thread full of jokes.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:14 PM
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Booty Licious, B.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:14 PM
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50 actually strikes me as pretty good advice. It doesn't quite help for the times I tend to be most depressed (dead of night, torrential rainstorms, other events which blot out the sky and prevent or discourage outdoor activity) but it's a decent start nonetheless.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:14 PM
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What do *your* sweatpants say on the ass, Ogged?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:18 PM
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Also, I would laugh at 53 had the cold, cruel horror of life not already choked the last vestige of humor from my withered soul.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:19 PM
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57: What about this? Santa is thinking of getting PK one.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:21 PM
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60: Are you sure that's fun? Because it looks suspiciously like boringness cleverly disguised in a plastic fun costume.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:25 PM
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The balance board part is more fun than the maze part, I bet.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:28 PM
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Something about little hard round balls sitting on an unbalanced surface on the floor just doesn't seem right to me, too.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:29 PM
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Well, balance boards alone are cheaper, so I'm tempted to go that route. But PK likes mazes, and it's not like we're not used to little hard round balls rolling under the couch all the time *anyway*.

Plus, dudes. Balance board --> skateboarding and surfing prowess.

And Ogged thinks my kid's long hair is gonna keep him from getting laid. HA!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:34 PM
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I would have to think that a pogo stick would be more fun than the ball-maze-balance-board. Do they even sell pogo sticks any more?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:34 PM
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I can't believe I didn't tell the Irish construction worker joke in that thread.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:35 PM
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(And actually balance boards *are* fun. Boyfriend's friend-with-a-kid has one, and I once took PK over there for daddies' night. He and I ended up fighting over the thing.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:35 PM
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Pogo sticks are OUTSIDE toys. Balance boards are more flexible. Plus, again, surfing. Skateboarding. People, you're not seeing the vision here.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:36 PM
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I know, my surfer friend's balance board was huge fun. It's over a cylinder rather than a sphere -- this kind. Wish I'd had one when I was a kid.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:36 PM
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Yeah, I've looked at the roller ones. From what I've read, the sphere type actually force you to learn to balance 360, which seems like it would be a better idea, no?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:38 PM
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Hm, that Indo training package isn't much more expensive than the maze thing. And you just know I can find it locally and not have to pay shipping.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:39 PM
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If your vision is training your son to be a surfing, skateboarding tombeur, no, I'm not seeing your vision. I went to college in Southern California and mostly avoided the surfers and skaters. That said, a balance board could be fun for a kid.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:42 PM
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I've never used one like that, but my impression is that that one with the maze is much easier because it's low to the ground, while the Indo's pivot-drum-thing is about a foot in diameter. And it isn't attached to the board, if you couldn't tell, which makes it a lot more athletic. (Watch the videos.)


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:42 PM
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66: I'll bite. What Irish construction worker joke?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:44 PM
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Hm. Well, I'll stop by the local surf shop and see what they say.

PK already has a skateboard, and he can't really ride it very well. I think he'll get a blast out of it, and there's no way I'm not getting him (and me) surf lessons at some point. Plus, JM, he's a little young for you anyway.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:45 PM
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29 is a fine, fine observation.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:47 PM
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Qu'est-que c'est tombour?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:48 PM
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78

Er, I mean, "eur."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:49 PM
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Ah, n/m. Google works just fine if you can spell.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:50 PM
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A tombeur is a guy who makes the girls tomber. It's old-fashioned slang by this point.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:51 PM
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What Irish construction worker joke?

An Irish construction worker—or rather construction worker in spe, for, you see, he's currently out of work—is going around London looking for a job, talking to various foremen who tend to give him a hard time, but no employment. He finally meets one who, though skeptical, is willing to entertain his application; after several questions as to his work history (copious) and qualifications (irrefragable), the foreman tells him, ok, I'll hire you if you can answer this questions: what's the difference between a joist and a girder? And the Irishman replies, oh, it's too easy: the one wrote Ulysses and the other wrote Faust.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:52 PM
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I think the best part was "irrefragable."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 6:56 PM
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83

See, w-lfs-n is willing to supply me with fun.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:03 PM
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"See 83 makes me think I should make a pun on fun and fungible" think I, and then I'm like oh shit, I have similar thoughts to that a lot don't I, and what it is exactly like is the character of the Gnat (not Lileks' daughter) in the third chapter of Through the Looking Glass, which chapter I was just reading with Sylvia for her bedtime story. What to make of this I am not sure.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:10 PM
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85

Also: "Give Me Back My Name" by the Talking Heads fits in with Alice's experience in the following chapter.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:12 PM
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86

I like balance boards, but the maze on it would piss me off.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:26 PM
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Can we invite Althouse to be a commenter here? I don't mean that she should be able to post anything. But a formal invitation to comment, I think that would be nice. Perhaps I will send her one.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:31 PM
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Who gave text unfogged stationary?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:31 PM
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it's too late for the blame game, b-wo.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:33 PM
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anyway, with all these posts, it's clearly what labs is after. ok, off to compose.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:44 PM
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I NEED YOuR HELP, UNFOGGED!!!


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:48 PM
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92

What with, Kotskorpse?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:50 PM
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93

NOT YOU, WOLFSON


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:51 PM
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Thanks a bunch, ben. Here I am, a bottle of vodka in one hand, a joint in the other and a keyboard at the ready, and you say "irrefragable" which just happens to be every other word in Jack London's diaries/letters/essays.

See y'all later, I'm off to work on my dissertation...


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:52 PM
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Aww, widdle Adam.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:57 PM
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Thank god I looked up the pronunciation of that word just now, or I might have seriously embarrassed myself later. I blame Doom and its ilk, for heightening the salience of 'frag'.


Posted by: X. Trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 7:59 PM
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97

How can I cause a divorce without being overt about it?


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:00 PM
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98

Have a threesome with the partners in marriage, and satisfy the wife far more than the husband thinks he ever could. The gnawing interior self-doubt will turn into exterior hostility, and within at most a decade they'll be a divorce.

Your role will of course be obvious, but the important thing is that your role qua homewrecker will be well hidden, since everyone involved will think you were just after a threesome.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:03 PM
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Knock someone up?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:03 PM
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100

You could also lace one of the happy couple's coffee with divorceweed.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:04 PM
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It's obvious why Adam doesn't want your advice, Ben.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:05 PM
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Ben is totally ignoring 93.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:06 PM
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You're right ... it so obviously bears the mark of my genius that everyone would know where he got it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:06 PM
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No, no adultery. That would be overt.

I mean, OF COURSE I'd satisfy her more than this douchebag. Obviously. But that's too obvious.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:06 PM
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Meantime I am listening to "Steel Guitar Rag" and feeling happy about it, and wondering if Adam will fill us in a little on the story behind his request.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:07 PM
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106

Get someone *else* to knock her up!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:08 PM
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107

Adam has only now, spurted on by the distance that now separates them, that he's in love with Anthony.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:08 PM
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108

realized.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:08 PM
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106: Unacceptable.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:10 PM
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110

you could frame the husband for possession of teh kiddie pron.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:10 PM
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111

Oh wow man. I need new HTML tags to express the groovitude of this video. And contrast with this. Let the beautiful music fill your tattered psyche Adam and quit wishing your friends' relationships ended.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:11 PM
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or you could draw the husband inexorably into romance. Soon he realizes he can no longer live without you, at which time, you spring upon him that, in fact, you do not love him. this will draw him into a tizzy, and he will cease to be a satisfactory husband. THEN you frame him for teh kiddie pron.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:13 PM
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113

Ooh, seduce the husband, then somehow arrange to have the wife find out he's gay!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:13 PM
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114

OR you could introduce his wife to Ben.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:14 PM
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115

Fuck you, Text.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:14 PM
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116

114 to 112 *and* 114.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:14 PM
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117

112 **and** 114?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:16 PM
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118

115 to 112 and 114. Sue me, I'm drinking.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:17 PM
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Ben, I trust, would entreat this wife on Kotsko's behalf. Being especially skilled in the arts of wordistry, Ben would, no doubt, engender sweet bliss for Kotsko.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:20 PM
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120

As he so often manages to do on his own behalf, yes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:22 PM
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121

Nothing could engender sweet bliss for me. God wants me to suffer, and he ultimately gets what he wants.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:23 PM
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122

Adam, newsflash: he doesn't really exist.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:23 PM
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123

He does for the bad stuff.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:24 PM
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122: God or charming ben?


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:24 PM
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No, no, that's Satan. Who's punishing you for lusting after married women.

Oh no wait, that doesn't work either.

Damn.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:25 PM
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126

124: Both. How's that dissertation coming along?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:25 PM
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Weird how on Friday nights this SEK character comes out of the woodwork.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:26 PM
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Well, he's married.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:27 PM
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charming ben?

Some of the seductive wordistry I'd deploy (ever on adam's behalf):

Let me get my hands
on your mammary glands
and let me get your head
on the conjugal bed
I say, I say, I say

This comment brought to you by my inability to tell two different songs apart.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:27 PM
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129: Yeah, that's gonnna work.

Speaking of married women, I gotta jet or I'm going to be late picking up my man at LAX.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:28 PM
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This is the stupidest thing ever. I should never initiate conversations.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:28 PM
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No no! See how well it worked for teo? My advice is golden.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:31 PM
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Hey did you guys know that tonight, thanks to a solar storm, the aurora borealis is supposed to be visible from the northern US? And not even that far north either, like my latitude. It is unfortunately cloudy here so instead I am sitting indoors and drinking rum and listening to John Fahey and contemplating Kotsko's problems. But if any of you live as far north as I do and it's clear out, you should totally go outside and check it out.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:35 PM
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Also.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:44 PM
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A-and not to mention.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:46 PM
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Hm. There seems to be a limit to how much hell you can raise by yourself, when everybody else is living in clearer climes and has gone out to look at the northern lights.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:49 PM
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See how well it worked for teo?

Jury's still out on that one, I'm afraid.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:53 PM
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oh, but that's just your modesty.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:54 PM
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136: I live in a clearer but more southerly clime, and would be happy to assist you in hell-raising.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:54 PM
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138: That and the academic calendar.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:55 PM
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Academic calendar is overrated. What's the worst that can happen?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 8:58 PM
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139: well then.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:03 PM
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I should just never talk to people. Life would be easier.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:04 PM
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143: did you take my advice and take a walk on the sunny side of the street?


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:05 PM
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Dude, just take your fucking ligature and go home. We've had enough of your Christmas cheer.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:09 PM
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"Christmas" s/b "Hannukah"


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:10 PM
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Hell, it could be leftover Thanksgiving cheer for all I care. The point remains!


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:11 PM
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(That is to say: I prefer to think of myself as a non-observant Jew rather than as a non-observant Xtian, even though both describe me.)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:11 PM
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Cheer up, dude.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:12 PM
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I don't understand 141 at all.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:12 PM
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What's not to understand?


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:12 PM
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The academic calendar is compelling you to do something. Or so you believe. But what is the worst that the academic calendar can bring to bear on you as a means of compulsion?

That, and Chandon straight from the bottle.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:14 PM
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The words, and how they are organized into sentences.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:14 PM
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152: It's more that the academic calendar is preventing me from doing something.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:16 PM
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Actually, after trying to parse out the reference (safer than writing code!) I stand by my statement.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:16 PM
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The words, and how they are organized into sentences.

New hover-text.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:17 PM
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Isn't the semester almost over? Even if you have papers to write or finals to take, requests for company to make such things more bearable are usually positively received. In my experience.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:18 PM
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safer than writing code

Ooh! can we talk about programming languages?
(Ducks)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:18 PM
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The semester is, in fact, entirely over. That's the problem.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:19 PM
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Not that it's a huge problem. Just suboptimal.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:20 PM
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Can we argue about whether "partially clothed genital region, displayed with intent to arouse" should be considered inappropriate? You'd think the answer is obvious, but yet people disagree.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:20 PM
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inappropriate in what context?


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:21 PM
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(It's all about context.)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:21 PM
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Optimality, like the academic calendar, is overrated. You talk to women with the schedule that you have, not the schedule that you wish you had.

Although, one of my co-workers went to Teo U (as I understand it), and from his descriptions of the townies, if the semester being over means that most of the students are leaving, that could be a problem.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:22 PM
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This video.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:23 PM
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Does that video have any intent other than to arouse? I would say it's appropriateness has to be judged by whether it meets its goal. It did not arouse me; but I am fairly liquored up so it's hard to know whether it would have done in my more normal head.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:28 PM
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Right. But the terms of service of that web site prohibits the posting of "inappropriate content", and when alerted to such content, they take it down. Hence the question about the "partially clothed genital region" standard.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:30 PM
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(It occurs to me suddenly that this video might have more immediate application to Adam's situation.)


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:31 PM
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Wow. I kept waiting for her boobs to rupture and ooze some horrible mixture of blood, fat, and silicone down her chest, convinced it was some weird new trend in video manipulated psuedo-snuff.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:31 PM
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167 -- well like I say, I don't think you could consider that inappropriate if the video is intended as wank fodder -- it would be totally appropriate to that context.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:32 PM
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But in situations out of wank-fodder, it should be considered inappropriate?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:33 PM
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Definitely.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:34 PM
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Curses. I feel like it's this kind of video that got that website where it is today, and that by removing it, they are betraying their roots. They need Gene Hackman from Hoosiers to tell them to concentrate on basics - shooting, passing, rebounding. Or in their case, boob shots, Naruto, and Family Guy.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:36 PM
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Most of the students at Teo U do leave for winter break. I am among them, as is she (although she's actually only leaving for a little while). Therein lies the problem.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:37 PM
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Kotsko, are you hoping that this woman will initiative divorce proceeding so you can sleep with her? Or is your interest altruistic?

If the former is the case, you're in for a weird world of pain, and that's presuming you lure her out of her marriage.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:37 PM
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Do either of you plan on returning after winter break? And how soon are the imminent departures? I presume they are to the opposite sides of the country...


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:38 PM
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We'll both be back after winter break. I left about a week ago, and I think she's leaving tomorrow (although she'll only be gone a few days). Like I said, this isn't a huge deal, it's just irritating.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:40 PM
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And yes, opposite sides of the country.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:41 PM
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175: I'm hoping that she'd get a divorce so that I'd be absolutely stuck with her.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:42 PM
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It's a scam if you e-mail someone on Craigslist and she asks you to buy some kind of gift card and send her the pin number, right? Because if not, I've got some backtracking to do!


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:43 PM
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That is irritating. But it's sort of why they invented IM. Is the winter break over in early January, or mid-late January?

180: hard to see how that can be a scam. If she asked you to buy yourself a gift card and send her the PIN number, maybe.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:45 PM
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I trust you're joking, Kotsko, but I found myself at one point in a very similiar position to the woman you're describing here. It was pretty horrible, and for a long time.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:48 PM
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Funny thing -- the ad promised a married woman who's looking to get revenge on her cheating husband. The scenario grabbed me. The whole gift card thing didn't. She claims that it's so that she can get gas to come meet me. I don't want to be even more of an idiot than I already have been (viz., pretty much totally drunk by 8pm on Friday, sitting in my apartment by myself, asking the Internet At Large how I can manage to wreck my own life).


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:48 PM
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Jackmormon, You're too kind.

This is the kind of thing where I need to come up with a fucking pseudonym. (Or a fucking pseudonym: "Call me the Unfogged Kid!")


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:49 PM
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Mid-late January (the 22nd, I think). I'll be back somewhat before then, though. And yeah, we've been e-mailing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:50 PM
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Is it a gift card to Chevron? Google Jessica Wolcott before following through off something on Craigslist personals.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:51 PM
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Given that I've been a significant percentage below the poverty level my entire adult life, I doubt I have much to lose in a scam. Let's say she empties out my bank account -- oh no! $200, gone forever!!!


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:53 PM
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Only your chains. And your dignity. And, if the husband is a vengeful/armed type, your life.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:56 PM
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really really really don't do this Adam. Have a wank, get up tomorrow morning, order pancakes and coffee.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:56 PM
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My e-mail conversation with this Craigslist woman is already over -- no need to worry.

(My longest ever Craigslist conversation was with a woman who was majoring in something called "fashion design." We didn't have a lot in common, as it turned out. She had very cool glasses, though.)


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:59 PM
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more videos here


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 9:59 PM
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Have a wank is solid advice, though.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:05 PM
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Who steals my chains steals trash. 'Tis locked, unlocked; bound me, binds him, and has held slaves in thousands.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:06 PM
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If this is not the reason YouTube exists, I don't know what is.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:07 PM
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This and this must surely be in a close second and third.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:10 PM
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191: See, normally that last one would have me reaching for the nearest sharp object and muttering "down, not across", but Bob Ross's voice makes it aaalaaalllll go away.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:13 PM
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133: I saw it from a plane last night. Just looked like a vague glow--wouldn't have guessed it was that unless the pilot said so.

It was a cool flight. We left out of Laguardia, and it was foggy, so it looked like you were seeing the skyline from above the clouds.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:41 PM
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With #4 being this.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:50 PM
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Assuming everything checks out in the cold light of tomorrow morning, I do believe I just finished my last paper of the quarter.

Huzzah!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:51 PM
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Congrats, ben. That's always a good feeling.

Where is B? I am feeling shabby and dowdy because my roommate has a friend visiting whose shoes cost more than my wardrobe. B could provide pictures of shoes to cheer me up.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:53 PM
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Created!


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:54 PM
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shabby and dowdy

Great name for my new folk-rock duo.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:54 PM
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Doubtless this is the case and I am being presumptuous, but just to be sure: Cala, you do know about The Manolo, right?

And, to wit, this.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 10:57 PM
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The Manolo is fun! Not that I could wear those shoes, but delightful.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 11:03 PM
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YouTube: the most powerful source for http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR9YmWk_X-ggood in the world today?

Also, look! Ogged's long-lost Brazilian twin!


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 11:25 PM
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Wow, I totally fail at HTML.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 12-15-06 11:25 PM
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198: Wow, I totally forgot about Teeny Little Super Guy. Thanks, Ned.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:06 AM
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Someone please blog this. Click on the powerpoint presentation!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:47 AM
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Ack! Mad PDF errors trying to get past the first page of that. But, oh my, does it sounds interesting.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:55 AM
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It's pretty great. I have no idea if it's good strategy (though it couldn't be worse than whatever the strategy is now), but it sure is entertaining. Too bad the guy got killed.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:59 AM
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I thought 210 was about Teeny Little Super Guy until I realized that the word "strategy" didn't fit in.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:03 AM
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I learned a good life lesson from Teeny Little Super Guy tonight: it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. That's good strategy.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:05 AM
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TLSG taught me that if you're nervous about approaching people and asking to be included, just ask them. The worst they can say is no.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:08 AM
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Thanks, TLSG!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:09 AM
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Oh, and no more PDF troubles. Working fine now.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:18 AM
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I think we're long past the point where we could win in Anbar, but I wish there had been more PowerPoints like that and fewer like this.


Posted by: Katherine | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 1:32 AM
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It's hard to argue with the point that men with mustaches are more virile trustworthy all-around-better than men without.

More seriously, one can readily see why an Army captain would put security over anything else, and it's too bad that the people in charge of this thing were more interested in their creative destruction magical thinking transformation agenda. Idiots.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 7:31 AM
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That is a wonderful presentation.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 9:21 AM
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I think my favorite part is when he introduces the sheikh: "In spite of many, many conquering armies trying to remove him, this man and his family have been involved in the local politics here since recorded time began."


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 9:54 AM
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The "shoes" thing on You Tube is teh awesome.

Cala, sorry about last night--I was driving to and from LAX. Which is kind of a haul, although oddly pleasant to take the 405 late at night and be able to go the speed limit and everything!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:00 PM
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Ah, Albuquerque.

(Alert readers may recall this.)


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-16-06 12:58 PM
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