If you think that being over-the-top gay is going to make us think that your gayness is ironic, you've got another dick coming.

Surely at your height you can just peek over the top of the dividers.

Ogged, sexualizing same-sex appreciation is just the sort of mistake you used to rage against when you defended our folkways from the gay modernity that has since overcome you.

The dividers go all the way up, B. The next question: will I be man enough to bring my shower scrunchie?

you've got another dick coming.

At least you didn't say "thing."

It's a sad sign of how far you've fallen away from the manly virtues that you don't realize, Labs, that the gay part wasn't the same-sex appreciation, but the "luxurious cleansing."

I appear to have simultaneously scored metro points and macho points by both having a shower 'scrunchie' and (when confronted by a visitor) not knowing what to call it.

3 - I'm sure you won't be the only guy at your bathhouse to have one.

Scrunchie? Is that one of those cloth covered rubberbands for hair, for, like making a ponytail? Or am I confused by the brand name I seem to remember from my ponytailed days, "scrunchi", or some such ikeaesque branding? If it is one of those cloth covered rubberbands for hair, what use is it in a gym's shower other than some type of cock and balls ring thingy for that extended period of "luxurious post workout" whatever?

Some men find a hot shower after lifting to be one of the great pleasures, Ogged; I'd invite you to try it but I know how you treasure your delicate physique.

Since Labs doesn't have enough hair for a scrunchie, I'm assuming he's talking about one of those loofah-type things made out of netting? The better to work himself up into a lather.

I can't tell whether you're willfully obtuse or hopelessly gay. We all enjoy a "good scrub" or a "hearty wash," but this "luxurious cleansing" reeks of product and feathered hair.

you've got another dick coming.

You moron. It's "dicg".

reeks of product

If your product reeks, you're not spending enough.

Labs's gym.

I think the original term was 'loofah' but it's evolved. They resemble big scrunchies now, and are manly. I remain clueless as to how to purchase shower goo, though. Twenty years of the white (not yellow) Dial bar is tough to break.

The reeking you sense comes only from you, Ogged, since you see product and feathering as luxuries rather than perversions. Do I look coiffed to you? I thought you described the look as "homeless."

Mr B had a ponytail phase? This surprises me.

I heart becks.

M/tch is among the many, many people funnier than I am.

a "hearty wash,"

Who are you, Baden-Powell?

Yeah, "a hearty wash" was a bit much, I admit.

Just so you know, I'm not drunk right now.

16: More than one, even. Think big, bushy, stoner hair.

they are called falafels.

I don't care how gay it makes me (well, I really don't care because I'm bi and my hair has gotten down past the small of my back in the last eight years of growing it out), you can have my bath puff when you pry it from my cold dead hands. I am never going back to facecloths. Never.

And my preferred bar soap smells like oatmeal cookies and cinnamon.

I don't get all this bath puff nonsense. Bath puffs just remind me of cheap "gift packages" at Wal-Mart and junior high trendiness.

Not all of us were trendy in junior high, and some of us would like a second chance.

*I* wasn't trendy in junior high, which is why I look down my nose at these things.

What do you Americans do with these scrunchies and facecloths?

I think they're supposed to serve the same purpose as a back brush, i.e., scrubby.

Where is everybody, sunbathing?

I appear to have simultaneously scored metro points and macho points by both having a shower 'scrunchie' and (when confronted by a visitor) not knowing what to call it.

If its purpose is to exfoliate the skin like a piece of pumice, it's a "loofah". If it is just a bunch of cloth designed to take up "shower gel" so that you can soap your body with liquid rather than solid soap, it's a "poof" (perhaps spelleded "pouf" if you want to be roughly 0.001% less gay).

I use bar soap with my bath puff 'cause it gets about 15,296 times foamier than I could achieve with a facecloth and does a better job of scrubbing all my various parts. I've long loathed facecloths for self-cleaning purposes. What do you haters use?

Soap and hands.

Whose hands?

My hands.

Hands are insufficently scrubby, in my experience.

Maybe yours are.

Nbarnes, obviously making a play for JM to join him in the shower.

No man (or woman) can replace my bath puff.

I mean, seriously. When I'm being touched by a man, I'm really looking for a very... different tactile experience than I am when I'm scrubbing myself clean with my bath puff.

....

Aren't you?

JM is a woman, barnes.

But how do we know Nbarnes is not also a woman?

In all likelihood, Ned, s/he's probably just one or the other.

There's a decent chance that in all likelihood etc.

It's a reasonable inference from comment 24 in this very thread.

I've lost track of NBarnes's gender, but given their stated sexual preference they could have been making a play for JackM regardless. Simplifies matters.

I don't know what the hell you people are talking about with your various and sundry bath puffs and scrunchies and loofas. Me, I like soap and hands.

And btw, it's a WASHcloth, not a facecloth. And it's for your ass, not your face, anyway.

And it's for your ass, not your face, anyway.

I hope you inform people of this policy, you know, before.

It's still a gender fumble and 5 yards penalty, no matter any ambiguities on my own part. Whoops.

The Body Shop calls it a "body glosser". Others call it a pouf mesh sponge. Me, I use the bath gloves.

A loofah is the freakin' dried fibrous part of the fruit of a plant of the genus Luffa and has nothing to do with those fluffy body glossers. Until it's been thoroughly soaked, it'll exfoliate you down to your subcutaneous fat.

Until tonight I thought bath puffs/loofahs/whatever fell into the same category as strawberry hullers: Useless gadgets invented just to test whether anybody would actually spend money on them.

you can have my bath puff when you pry it from my cold dead hands

You can have mine for $5, and I'll buy a new one.