(Not that I would ever wear one; they're way way beyond what my splash propulsion could justify.)
It's sad that you had to include this.
There's nothing sadder than a tongueless pirate.
I have a friend who has hilarious stories about this suits and how the early versions in particular had not-particularly-sturdy seams. Apparently it was rather crucial to check the integrity of one's suit before getting out of the water after a race...
You should make these suits your new uniform, to spread the cost. Buy 3 and wear them everywhere - people will get out of your way at Whole Foods!
I was hoping for an explanation of why it was sad that I had to include the parenthetical.
It's sad from an Objectivist point of view. NEVER RESIGN YOURSELF TO YOUR INFERIORITY. NEVER TRUMPET IT. THE REST OF US WILL WALK ALL OVER YOU.
I was thinking of the "yupped up" incident.
Ohhh, you saw the specter of the nefarious mind of B as the motivation for the proviso. You should have known better than to think that I'd do something to keep B from getting riled up.
Quite right. I am ashamed.
I thought you'd let the bitchphds grind you down.
I still think you're cute.
I confess, those were someone else's tits in the picture I sent you.
They'd have to be "someone else's bust" on the radio. Like, you wanted Beethoven as a piano hood ornament, but you had to make do with David Helfgott.
In this hipster age, perhaps "make do" understates the desirability of a Helfgott bust.
That's either a stupid band name, or you like stupid bands.
Elsie's Bust?
I can't think of anything more uptight than referring to a cow's "bust". f/k/a The Queen Victoria School of Agribusiness Rock Band.
FOR SALE: Twelve kine each with most maidenly figures
Standpipe, I really wish you'd make up your mind if you're pro or anti the shrill feminists.
You are one, but not all, shrill feminist(s), B.
Oh, so now you're trying to marginalize me among the sistren?
Sexist.
Seriously, though, I'm surprised you're skeptical about the fancy suits. Skin + water creates a lot of friction; even the difference between washing your hands with and without soap ought to be enough to demonstrate that.
"Shrill" are the good kind. Especially when there's already been lots of high-frequency hearing loss.
What about some firm silicone implants where flow analysis shows rippling? That should speed the swimming up without adding material to where it's not needed.
How would that not be adding material?
I figured the suits were marginally slicker, but I was skeptical about this turbulence business.
Also, how would it do anything about the flexibility and drag of skin itself? Which is the actual problem.
You should go ahead and buy yourself a fancy suit, ogged. Maybe you'll only wear it a couple of times, early in the morning, in nasty weather, when the pool is empty, but until you try one out you're just going to wonder.
31: Ah. The advertising copy that gets me in the link was the "mimics the rough shark denticles." Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's some serious high-tech fabric: shark denticles, my ripply ass.
I'm not even wondering. It's not as if I'm at the limits of human streamlining, and would even notice a marked difference. And I'm not sure about this, but I think the things fall apart after a few wearings anyway, so "a couple of times" is the intended life of the product.
some firm silicone implants
I vote for this solution. Just make sure to read the fine print. If they sucker you into silicon implants, you'll sink to the bottom straightaway.
Wearing a Fastskin suit to train is the equivilent of showing up with $15,000 of video equipment to your 6 yr old child's soccer practice.
I have nothing against those suits, but I wouldn't consider wearing one unless I was really training a lot.
30: The whole skin surface might not need firming up and smoothing. That would depend on some good flow analysis. Anyway, if full body implants were found to be necessary, swimmers might look like seals, the trend would catch on, and the perpetual body-image debates would at shift a bit. Some collateral damage is good collateral damage.
Alternatively, one might surround the entire body with a smoothly formed, hydrodynamic shell in order to decrease turbulence. One might refer to such a shell as a 'boat', or depending on the design, a 'submarine'.
Get yourself one for Christmas. Just for fun!
JM, sometimes I think you don't have my best interest at heart.
It will make you stronger, ogged.
37: SEE??? SEE???
I'm confused. Your ripply ass?
friction/drag make a huge difference in swimming. But, with such a suit comes expectations. Everyone enjoys kicking the ass of someone who has spent a bunch of money and still is slow. (see casual rich guy/girl triathlete)
37 gets it exactly right. Sharksuit:ogged::rear spoiler:station wagon.
"37 gets it exactly right. Sharksuit:ogged::rear spoiler:station wagon."
But it would help Cala learn to swim more than arm floaties.
44: No. See that I am totally right about the offensiveness of yupped up false professionalization, and I wasn't the one to say it, either.
the offensiveness of yupped up false professionalization
Sure, but let us not spoil a person's joy in the few pleasures allowed in this grim modern world. Silly sleek swimsuits are harmless and funny.
But no one disagreed with you about that, B; they only disagreed that it had anything to do with swimming a lot.
44: Just because everyone enjoys it (and oh, do they ever - at least in the sports I'm familiar with) doesn't mean that he shouldn't do it anyway. Maybe he just wants to contribute to the enjoyment of his fellow man. Or to signal to lifeguards "I'm rich, and have more important things to do than swim."
Not arm floaties. Kickboards! and noodles!
Apparently, the suit also gives you gills. That's worth $400.
I wasn't saying anything about swimming a lot. I was just saying that the obsessive studying of videos of professional swimmers was worrying--and see, now we're starting to talk about high-end fancy suits. Slippery slope, my friend; I'm glad that your feet are, for now at least, on terra firma.
What I meant was, that chain of "reasoning" is so shoddy that PhDs everywhere should be wanting to stone you for discrediting the degree. But I thought that was implicit in my 54.
Oh, now we're required to produce peer-reviewed work in our blog comments, are we?
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm on record somewhere saying that the PhD is mostly an endurance contest rather than a measure of brilliance.
B's position on this rather surprises me; ordinarily the implicit puritanism, the "don't get too big for your britches" feeling has no appeal for her.
I remember an interview with Beryl Burton, one of the great cyclists, and for a time in the sixties holder of the world record for distance traveled in 12 hours. That's not the woman's record, the world record. She said she always resisted pulling out all the stops concerning equipment, often training very hard with fenders and a pump, just like a tourist. She claimed it was psychological with her, that she could make an extra effort when she really stripped down the bike for competition, and she didn't want to cheapen the effect.
But she also said she was saddened to see neophytes show up with equipment as good as her own, because as she said, where can they go? What can they hold back? What can they reward themselves with?
She was very working class and worked as a farm worker. It may be that this view of hers, just like Gladwell's portrait of Roger Bannister, belongs to the past, and that not only do top athletes now live in a totally different world, but that enthusiastic amateurs inevitably do too.
Let's have an actual citation, please, and not just "I'm pretty sure I'm on record somewhere".
enthusiastic amateurs inevitably do too
Maybe so, generally speaking, but seriously, no one wears a racing suit unless they're a serious competitor at a national or international level.
Things change though. The price of a good quality guitar or camera (to take two things I know a bit about) is way lower relative to average income than it was in the past.
A pro quality bike for someone in Burton's day was probably many many multiples of a month's salary. These days it is not.
It's not as though if I deny myself that nice sable brush until I get really really good at painting, I'm going to become---by dint of self-denial and sheer will!---Picasso.
No, it's an extreme case, but less extreme but still expensive equipment does filter down all the time. I think Burton's attitude really belongs to the past, even thought I share it. But I belong to the past.
For the record, I think Ogged and anyone interested in improving their swimming should look at videos of swimmers and images such as the ones linked. (At least, this is my rationale for looking at porn.)
I didn't think that he was considering buying a suit. (Fastskin jammers are probably just as good for him anyway.)
Isn't it more the point that if that extra .o8 is the difference between winning and losing by all means, buy the suit. If you will get beat by 10 seconds, save the money.
And if you're not competing at all…
deny myself that nice sable brush
There's also a difference between indulgent out-of-your-league purchases that you enjoy in private use, and crazy-ass things that you wear out in public.
Ogged, buy the suit and wear it to the opera. That'll show her.
crazy-ass things that you wear out in public
It would be good for your character.
At the next Unfogged meetup, I want everyone in a Fastskin.
A gold lamé Fastskin, to be precise. If we can find the little ankle wings, we can all get work as a synchronized flower-delivery team.
"At the next Unfogged meetup, I want everyone in a Fastskin."
Apparently, they make them in gold lame. (add accent)
My brain keeps dropping the first s in Fastskin when I look at the word, making me think, "I already have one more of those than I'd like, thanks."
Seeing the sentence "John Emerson comments on Cheerfulness" in the sidebar is making me cheerful.
However, my comment is in the wrong thread.
I think that suit makes you look like an X-Man.
Ogged - you should buy it and go out and fight crime.
61: On top of that, no one wears a racing suit unless they are actually racing. You train in just a generic swim suit.
Did you call up and make an appointment for lessons, or just google her?
you should buy it and go out and fight crime.
"Do anything hot last night?" I ask.
"Nada. Watched Godzilla videos in slow motion. Fought some crime." Fighting crime is Daisy and Murray's expression for getting it on.
(Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet.)
will.i.am
Do you like green eggs & ham?
Did you call up and make an appointment for lessons, or just google her?
Not yet. For one thing, I want to be in a bit better shape and feel like I'll be able to do what she instructs me to do, for another, I think she might actually be coaching Nat/alie Cough/lin now, which means they'll be in Australia for a while.
But I do plan to.