Re: I bring you glad tidings

1

The power of Anna Nicole compels you to post the picture of Birkhead pumping his fist like he made a strike.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:00 PM
horizontal rule
2

The sound you hear is Rupert Murdoch crying. Time for Brittany to appear without panties, yet again.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:00 PM
horizontal rule
3

Neil, that picture of the fist-pump is even worse than the two-thumbs-way-up picture in my link. Yeah! I totally scored, dude!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:03 PM
horizontal rule
4

Oh, hurrah about Joe Francis going to jail. Get this: even the SG commenters think he's a dick.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:06 PM
horizontal rule
5

Time for Brittany to appear without panties, yet again.

HOORAY!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:10 PM
horizontal rule
6

It's awesome that Francis is going to jail for criminal contempt.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:18 PM
horizontal rule
7

6: you mean because he's shown criminal level of contempt for various people, and it just so happens that there's an unrelated legal infraction called "criminal contempt"?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:20 PM
horizontal rule
8

Yes.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:21 PM
horizontal rule
9

So wait, if contempt is criminal, and Joe Francis is beneath it, does that make him contempt's jailhouse wife?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:21 PM
horizontal rule
10

There's just not a thread anywhere on the internet that can't be improved by a jovial reference to prisoner-on-prisoner rape in America's prisons, is there?

Because prison is funny, and rape is funny!


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:24 PM
horizontal rule
11

He said "wife," Anderson.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:26 PM
horizontal rule
12

10: You're right.

Sorry.

Not funny, and I should know better.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:27 PM
horizontal rule
13

rape is funny!

If you rape a clown.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:28 PM
horizontal rule
14

11: All sex is rape, ogged.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:28 PM
horizontal rule
15

I'm just here to class up the place a little.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:29 PM
horizontal rule
16

I'm still laughing at that, unfortunately.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:29 PM
horizontal rule
17

Goddamit you two, I'm trying to feel appropriately chastened over here.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:35 PM
horizontal rule
18

As you should. That's a difficult one -- I work on snarling at prison-rape jokes because it should be taken seriously, but it's still very artificial of me. They're so common, and so broadly accepted, that I have a hell of a time remembering that they're ghastly and wrong.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:38 PM
horizontal rule
19

It's only funny if you rape a clown; you can still feel chastened. Unless by "wife," you meant "clown," and I know there are feminist theorists who define things that way.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:38 PM
horizontal rule
20

For punishment Beefo Meaty should be stripped, humiliated, and abused in some non-sexual, no penetrative way.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:43 PM
horizontal rule
21

I'm trying to feel appropriately chastened over here.

Well, you know, there are jokes that are actually making light of prison rape, and there are jokes that are just plays on words. Yours was the latter. But if you really feel the need for atonement, then turn around and I'll fuck you, clown.

Hey, Unfogged is now the #2 google hit for "fuck you clown"!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:46 PM
horizontal rule
22

This (NSFW) might be right.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:46 PM
horizontal rule
23

Hm, I meant my comment to sound a bit less chastening than it evidently came out.

Rather than stifling Sifu, let's say I was just calling attention to the weird phenomenon of the Socially Acceptable Rape Joke. And somebody tell me to fuck off, okay?


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:49 PM
horizontal rule
24

20. JM came up with this in the other thread. Be sure to scroll down
http://www.petticoated.com/PDQ.october.05.html


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:51 PM
horizontal rule
25

Hey, Unfogged is now the #2 google hit for "fuck you clown"!

I recommend making "fuck you, clown" the "Carthago delenda est" of every post until the golden # 1 trophy is secure. Provided that no clowns are raped in the making of these posts.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:52 PM
horizontal rule
26

21: I'm thinking the "stupid pun" portion of my neocortex is poorly monitored by my internal moral authority. They just don't usually have that much to do with each other.

Also I love the metamorphosis of "fuck you, clown!" I hadn't heard that joke in probably a decade when I was pointed towards the unfogged connection the other day.

22: Rollerblading? At long last, have you no sense of decency?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:52 PM
horizontal rule
27

23: It is weird, isn't it, and being chastening about it is right. But I'm still as likely to think of a prison rape joke as anyone else.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 3:52 PM
horizontal rule
28

You know, on balance, I don't think I implied that I approved of prisoners being raped by abstract legal concepts, which is usually what's bothersome about prison rape jokes. I simply acknowledged the existence of abstract legal concept-perpetrated prisoner rape in the service of a bad pun.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 4:09 PM
horizontal rule
29

Joe Francis *is* a clown.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 4:45 PM
horizontal rule
30

That's a *horrible* thing to say about clowns!


Posted by: mealworm | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 4:58 PM
horizontal rule
31

Yeah he's rather more sinister than that.

Joe Francis is a clown in the same sense that Eichmann in Jerusalem is about the banality of paperwork.

Whoops. Analogy. I'm so banned.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 5:01 PM
horizontal rule
32

I hate clowns.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 5:01 PM
horizontal rule
33

Fuck off, Mr. Anderson. (You asked.)


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 5:56 PM
horizontal rule
34

Because they taste funny?


Posted by: micah | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 5:57 PM
horizontal rule
35

See a satirical tongue-in-cheek visual titled, "Anna Nicole's Sugar Baby Has A Daddy"...here:

www.thoughttheater.com


Posted by: Daniel DiRito | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 6:45 PM
horizontal rule
36

They could do a Solomon-style ruling to decide who actually wants the baby and who wants the money. Tell them that Stern can keep Danielynn, but that Birkhead gets control of the trust fund (or however the money is arranged), and see who looks pleased or pissed off with that.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 6:57 PM
horizontal rule
37

It's spelled _Britney_.


Posted by: Counterfly | Link to this comment | 04-10-07 8:43 PM
horizontal rule
38

Do any of the lawyers (or clients) here find it disturbing that Joe Francis is aparently in jail for walking out of a settlement conference in a civil case? It's not my favorite tactic, but walking out of settlement conferences is pretty common behavior, and it never occurred to me that it could get my clients arrested.

Obligatory disclaimer: Joe Francis is a scummy character, and I would not be disturbed if he were in jail on charges of aggravated scummery.


Posted by: an irregular | Link to this comment | 04-11-07 9:11 AM
horizontal rule
39

Do any of the lawyers (or clients) here ...

The article is unclear, as usual where legal topics are concerned, but if it was a court-ordered mediation, then a contempt order was proper. Otherwise, I would think not.

A judge can order you to hop on one foot, and until you get that order reversed, you are well advised to hop.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-11-07 9:42 AM
horizontal rule
40

Isn't it for swearing/yelling at the women who were suing him, walking out, and refusing to show up for some further thing (related to an initial contempt charge having to do with the swearing/yelling, I thought)?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-11-07 9:58 AM
horizontal rule
41

Isn't it for swearing/yelling at the women who were suing him, walking out, and refusing to show up for some further thing (related to an initial contempt charge having to do with the swearing/yelling, I thought)?

Well, you *can* do all that in a mediation, but not if the court has *ordered* you to mediate. The CNN item I found suggests that the order came after the initial bad conduct:

Lawyers for the women told U.S. District Judge Richard Smoak that Francis became enraged during the settlement talks, shouting obscenities at the lawyers and threatening to "bury them." Smoak ordered Francis to settle the case or go to jail for his behavior.

Now, I confess to being stuck as to how a judge can *order* someone to settle a case; perhaps the news item is unclear. (N.b. he was supposedly cursing the lawyers, not the plaintiffs.)


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-11-07 12:38 PM
horizontal rule