Re: Limit Case

1

Maybe half-again as big, I haven't checked.

Sounds like there's a fairly simple test.

Of all the things you could say to a stranger whose ass you've just clapped your hand to, I think "Madam, I'm simply trying to ascertain my possible Mauritanian ancestry" is fairly original ... might even work as a pickup line. Okay, well, maybe not.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:16 PM
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I might have some Mauritanian in me... ATM.

Labs will be jealous.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:34 PM
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Oops. 2 was me.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:34 PM
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I might have some Mauritanian in me

Fag.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:46 PM
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I hate shavetail on a man. On a woman, well, that's just not even right.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:54 PM
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You just don't read previous comments, do you, Lovecraft?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:54 PM
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5: There was a great description of goneass on King of the Hill a couple of years back. Might have been GDS: Gluteal Deficiency Syndrome.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:56 PM
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Shavetail? Goneass?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:58 PM
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goneass

Is this really a term you kids use?


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 2:59 PM
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A friend in law school figured he could get rich quick by exporting butts to Japan. Turns out that would have been much better than what he actually ended up doing.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:03 PM
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As big as your hand in which dimension?


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:05 PM
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Across.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:06 PM
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9: Doesn't everyone? Men with no perceptible buttocks suffer from goneass. I had no idea that wasn't widespread slang, if it isn't.

10: The only time I've been to Japan, I was trying to buy underwear. Very hard to find a pair that wasn't padded. Also very hard to find a pair that was big enough.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:07 PM
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12: Well, damn. That's too little.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:09 PM
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Yeah, shavetail = goneass. I never heard goneass before, but I like it. The word, I mean; the phenomenon: tragic.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:10 PM
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Wow, a woman with a tush only that wide? That sounds like a pelvic abnormality.

Actually, a trannie is what it sounds like.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:11 PM
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Men with no perceptible buttocks suffer from goneass.

Never heard it before. But again, since I am very much on the other end of the buttocks spectrum, maybe the occasion has just never arisen.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:13 PM
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A (n Asian) friend in college used to refer to the phenomenon as 'Asian no-ass syndrome'


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:14 PM
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Nah, just a small-boned person who's also thin. Not to get all Kumbaya on everyone, but there's an awful lot of normal variation out there, and plenty of people probably think she looks great.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:14 PM
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I felt 2 lacked bluntness.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:14 PM
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Unless, of course, it's the case that ogged's hand is just that big.


Posted by: hermit greg | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:15 PM
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18: That's funny, I think of it as a white-guy thing -- not all of them, but that's where you find it. My dad is a tragic sufferer from GDS -- in a bathing suit, he looks like someone shot his ass off in the war.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:15 PM
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Idealist: the Shakira of middle-aged male military veterans who comment on unfogged.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:16 PM
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It's really just a thin, small-boned person-with-no-glutes thing, generally.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:17 PM
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the other end of the buttocks spectrum

This, for some reason, is cracking me up uncontrollably. It's the picture of the buttocks spectrum arching majestically across the heavens, and supporting a really unsavory tribe of leprechauns. ("Would ye like to see me pot o'gold?")


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:17 PM
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Idealist: the Shakira of middle-aged male military veterans who comment on unfogged.

I think there ought to be a thread about this. Sum up all the body-shape discussion in one fell swoop.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:18 PM
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I should clarify: the ass has some contour; it's not a white guy butt. It's just very small.

plenty of people probably think she looks great

But we're trying to determine whether they're right or wrong, LB. Sheesh.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:18 PM
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I was distressed, upon moving to New York, to find that the fashion among The Young People was to wear pants that made it look like they had shavetail whether or not they did. I hope that trend passes quickly, as being able to check out butts is one of the many advantages of living in a walking city.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:18 PM
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the buttocks spectrum arching majestically across the heavens,

Gee, it's not that big!


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:19 PM
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26- what is it you're wanting to discuss? Marilyn obviously wins, though Cindy makes it a respectable competition.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:21 PM
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25: Oy, the crick in my neck already.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:21 PM
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27.1: Did she have pockets? Might be a combination of no ass & a handy place to store those oranges for later.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:23 PM
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Wow, there are slang words for no-assed-ness? Weird.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:23 PM
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34

Urban dictionary disagrees about the meaning of "shavetail."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:25 PM
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28: Guys wearing girl's low-rise jeans is a fashion trend that has to stop post-haste.

Girls wearing girls low-rise jeans I can deal with, but yeah, it definitely seems like some of them are rocking it so they can show off the fact that they have no ass, which strikes me ass entirely wrong-headed.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:25 PM
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"Flat ass" always seemed to do the trick just fine for people I've known.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:26 PM
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re: 34. The only context in which I have heard the word shavetail used was as a slang term for a Second Lieutenant. I have no idea what the derivation is. IDP, TLL?


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:28 PM
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And the fact that urban dictionary doesn't recognize "goneass" means it's not real slang. LB made it up.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:28 PM
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28: "Shavetail"?

30: Marilyn Monroe and Camilla Clifford are in a dead heat for me, actually. (And Louise Brooks is far more of a bombshell than the crappy photo they picked shows.) But I'm more interested in kicking around the thesis that ideal feminine body type tends to de-emphasize voluptuousness in more "liberated" eras.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:29 PM
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40

"Flat ass" it is, folks.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:30 PM
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41

Ach, pwned by 34.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:30 PM
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34: I'd never heard it before except as military slang where it identifies a lieutenant, I think, but I don't know exactly. I also don't know if it's current -- I think I've only seen it in WWII era stuff.

35: Such an unflattering look. I was on the subway this morning looking at the bare midriff of a 92lb woman wearing jeans that barely covered any pubic hair she might have happened to retain, and she just looked awful. Skinny as anything, but managed to look vaguely potbellied as well as hipless.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:30 PM
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Pwned by 37 -- I guess it is current.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:32 PM
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strikes me ass entirely wrong-headed.

Maybe you should find someone who can strike your ass properly, then.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:32 PM
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45

I also don't know if it's current -- I think I've only seen it in WWII era stuff.

Come on, I'm not that old. I have heard it used. Now admittedly, I was commissioned in 1978, when you were but a wee lass, but WWII was over more than somewhat before 1978.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:34 PM
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45 posted before seeing 43. I should have checked on preview. My bad.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:35 PM
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I didn't say I knew it wasn't current; just that I'd only seen it in old stuff. I googled, and the only derivation I saw went back to mules: that you'd shave the tails of the newly broken ones so you knew which weren't reliable yet. Which means it's a ways older than even WWII.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:35 PM
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34, 39: First of all, ack.
Second of all, that don't make no sense. The "tail" is the behind part, no? And what UD is talking about is the fronty part, yes?
Third of all, I was saying "shavetail" to mean "no ass" before Urban Dictionary was out of short pants, so don't get uppity with me.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:37 PM
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42.2: My teenage nieces, who have to share the family's four ounces of carefully-hoarded body fat with three brothers, can get away with it, but on most women it's Designers Are Not Your Friends, Part 5841.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:39 PM
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The "tail" is the behind part

Homonormative.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:39 PM
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The "tail" is the behind part, no? And what UD is talking about is the fronty part, yes?

Yet one can still "score some tail", as the kids these days say.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:39 PM
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51: But that refers to placing a tally mark on your partner's ass after sex to record your triumph. Didn't you get the memo?


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:43 PM
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Isn't the point of "chasing tail" to get a "piece of ass?"


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:45 PM
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51: They're referring to the behind parts.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:45 PM
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that you'd shave the tails of the newly broken ones so you knew which weren't reliable yet

That would explain using the term as slang for Second Lieutenant just about perfectly.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:45 PM
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I thought you put those on your own ass, like how football players mark on their helmet the number of tackles they've made.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:46 PM
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OT: Everyone, tell me to go away if you see me commenting over the next week or so (until Monday night)? I just got dumped in an ugly spot needing to write up some papers at high speed, and I have to focus. Sadly, focusing isn't a strong point.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:46 PM
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From the google results, goneass certainly seems to have some currency, at least in the south.

I vote we all work to encourage its use.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:46 PM
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56: Now THAT's homonormative.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:47 PM
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56: Nope. Also, the potato goes in front.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:48 PM
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I just got dumped

Don't worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. He didn't deserve you anyway.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:48 PM
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LB just emailed me to say that she was totally wrong about force feeding kids, and that unions suck. Anyway, she can explain it all when she gets back.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:48 PM
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I call shenanigans!

(And what about that sanctity of off blog communication, Ogged? Do you really want me to tell the story about your innocent teenage curiosity about the sheep, and the tragic results?)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:50 PM
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Go away, LB.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:52 PM
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Guys wearing girl's low-rise jeans is a fashion trend that has to stop post-haste.

I kinda like the skinny punk look, so shut up.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:54 PM
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tell me to go away if you see me commenting over the next week or so

re: 63

Go away (but come back next week).


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:54 PM
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I don't know what this look is. Pictures? Links?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:54 PM
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65: You and Hedi Slimane, enforcing unrealistic standards of beauty for men again.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:57 PM
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Whatever sheep have, it's not tragedies, ever. "A sheep's life consists of standing around in a field waiting to be eaten".

I have never heard of the Python prohibition, BTW.

I doubt that Ogged has tragedies either.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 3:57 PM
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69: I have never heard of the Python prohibition

This is like curb-stomping somebody and then saying "you didn't tell me about any curb-stomping prohibition."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:01 PM
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LB announcing her departure seems to have totally broken the blog.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:12 PM
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67: Well, here's one.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:18 PM
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You know discussing her half-ass is JUST LIKE?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:18 PM
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That's what you like, B?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:21 PM
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74: I like a lot of things. And yeah, Iggy's hot in his hard, crazy kinda way.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:24 PM
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I don't grant even the theoretical possibility of any curb-stomping prohibition. The curb-stomping "exception" is the very essence of government, as Schmitt (per Agamben, Kotsko, and Craig) has pointed out.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:28 PM
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So seriously, you have to be like 5'6" and 100 lbs to rock that look, which has basically taken over men's fashion. Yay, gender equality!

Things are so bad in LA that I can't even shop at the thrift stores because the clothes are too small.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:29 PM
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67: I don't think Iggy really counts. The look is punk-inspired but has to be executed in such a way as to get you beaten up at an actual punk show. Like this.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:29 PM
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The curb-stomping "exception" is the very essence of government

Too true.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:30 PM
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78 nails it.

So lame.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:31 PM
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"My style is rock. Tight jeans and suit jacket are from The Clash, my hair is Skidrow style and my make-up is Hanoi Rocks. I shop at girls' departments because I like tight and skinny clothes. I get jeans from my friends and then I take in them. I would never wear baggy clothes. My grandmother made this mitten for me."

Let's see, you wear make-up and shop in the girls' departments? Sorry, that means your style is transvestite.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:32 PM
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Not that there's anything wrong with that!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:33 PM
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You all suck for not playing along with 73. I was going to (try to) be funny. Maybe not successfully, but you all still suck.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:35 PM
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77: Oh, quit bitching.

78: I'm pretty sure that's more emo than punk.

81, 82: Don't be such frat boys.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:36 PM
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73 didn't make sense, heebie.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:36 PM
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I'll say this about the nation's capital: The guys I know, even the hip ones, all have happy little guts. Washington, DC--Home of the Whoppster.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:37 PM
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Probably because you're all hoping to be Newt Gingrich someday.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:40 PM
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85 - you're just supposed to say, "What is it just like?"

I really wanted to write,

"It's just like a Mini-Mall! It's just like, it's just like, a Mini-Mall!
You can find it at the market,
I'm talking bout flea market,
It's just like, it's just like, a Mini-Mall!"

It doesn't make any sense but - sigh...


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:43 PM
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89

84: Sexist


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:44 PM
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90

Sorry 84.1


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:44 PM
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84.2: Well, yes, but I think Sifu's original remark was about emo/screamo fashioncore. You were Deviating.

88: Ah, the road not taken.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:45 PM
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Can 88 be redacted somehow? I like heebie, and don't want that to be on her permanent record.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:51 PM
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90: whipped.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:52 PM
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92 - Hey! I resemble that remark!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 4:54 PM
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Home of the Whoppster.
Bwahahahaha. Totally using that.

78: Ack, my neighborhood is full of these. I try to refrain from hipster-bashing, but when one of these gets on the subway with me, I often feel left with a choice of feeling old or feeling self-righteous, and we know which one feels better.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:14 PM
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Original post:

The ass of one of the Pilates instructors at the place where I swim is about as big as my hand. Maybe half-again as big, I haven't checked. Verdict: too small!

Too small for what?

Shit, mang. Assuming the ass belongs to a female, it's too small for what?

Write back when you pen a similar post on the relative merits of some randomly encountered guy's merits.

Fucking sexist. Man, sorry, but really, the idea that I (female) walk around subject to assessment as a sexual object every fucking day is really off-putting, and you should cut it out.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:16 PM
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62 to 96 with a detour at 84.1

Happens to the best of us.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:19 PM
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98

Parsimon, are you new around here?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:21 PM
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walk around subject to assessment as a sexual object every fucking day

To be fair, it's on fucking days that someone assessing you as a sexual object is most natural.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:22 PM
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subject to assessment as a sexual object every fucking day... you should cut it out.

Maybe it would be for the best if I were the one to mention that that's not going to happen, ever.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:23 PM
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98: You know perfectly well I'm not. Pissed me off, that's all.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:25 PM
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You're fairly new, aren't you? I mean, my ass posts have almost become a running joke on the blog, which is why none of the ardent feminists said anything about this one, I think.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:29 PM
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ogged, perhaps if you weighed in on the package of the guy in 78, it would make this better.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:32 PM
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That never seems to help. What do you think all the swimming posts are about?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:32 PM
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102: Speaking of being new here, have I mentioned how glad I am that you've paved the way for us n00bs to bait the feminists in a spirit of mutual good fun? Because I am.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:35 PM
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102: Okay. Got it. I forgot, or something. This one got to me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:35 PM
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Anyway, the answer to your question is, "Too small for my massive cock."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:36 PM
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105: Be warned, it doesn't work for newbies. Think Don Imus's "but rappers do it too" defense.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:36 PM
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There is no baiting, Sifu, and no good fun, either.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:37 PM
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What I meant to say is, I'm so glad you've paved the way for us n00bs to engage the humorless feminists in the spirit of mutual edification and outrage.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:38 PM
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89: It's not sexist to tell you to quit bitching. It would be sexist if I told you to quit being so shrill.

On the other hand, 105 is sexist.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:39 PM
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111: But I am shrill.

Why is 105 sexist? I'm a gender-neutral baiter, I just tread lightly sometimes/on some blogs.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:42 PM
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Aren't there other places where they do that?


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:43 PM
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112: Hey, as long as you bait the frat boys equally with the chicks, it's cool with me. I'm just saying, "baiting the feminists" is a pretty well-worn path.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:45 PM
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"baiting the feminists" is a pretty well-worn path.

Maybe the urgency would become more apparent if you realized that so-called "feminists" are actually femiNAZIs.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:50 PM
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107: For reasons I still can't comprehend, I understand this and it makes me smile. Can't quite figure that out.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:50 PM
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115: That's not funny.

No, really. It just wasn't funny.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:52 PM
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Dare I even press the issue of the inescapibility of sexual assessment?


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:54 PM
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If they were carp, baiting might be worthwhile.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:54 PM
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answer: only if I can spell "inescapability."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:55 PM
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118: Yeah, yeah, people check other people out. News at 11.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:55 PM
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121: Exactly my point.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:56 PM
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123

If we can go back to making fun of hipsters, I'd just like to mention that I was at a party on Saturday night with a bunch of them where we drank an entire keg of Yuengling despite having nowhere near as many people as a typical kegger. Pros: I can now finally recognize "Sixteen Military Wives," "Holland 1945" and a few other songs that the young people these days listen to all the time. Cons: The raging hangover the next day. Still unsure about: The fact that hipsters have been facebook-friending me ever since.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:56 PM
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Will 123 actually lead to Teo getting laid? Stay tuned!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:57 PM
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Unfortunately, the party in question involved approximately no girls. I realize this is not necessarily a problem given the proclivities of hipsters, but I don't think I'm quite there yet.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:58 PM
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112: Oh, next you're going to tell us you're gender-blind. "When I look at someone, I don't see a woman, I see a person!"


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 5:59 PM
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The fact that hipsters have been facebook-friending me ever since.

Awww, that's sweet. It's okay to be friends with hipsters, just don't dress like them.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:00 PM
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127: It is kind of sweet. I will definitely not assimilate to their ways, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:01 PM
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Wait, they have proclivities? Perhaps I should seek some hipster companionship.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:02 PM
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I apologize for 115, I always want to satirize white men who think they are under attack by the forces of PC, since it's an attitude that held me in its sway between the ages of 12 and 14, but failing to do so doesn't help.

"Holland 1945"...these days

Get with the times, grandpa. That album came out 9 years ago.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:02 PM
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129: I've heard rumors.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:05 PM
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Get with the times, grandpa. That album came out 9 years ago.

Remember how I don't listen to music? If it weren't for hipster parties* I wouldn't recognize any songs at all.

*This was not actually a hipster party, despite the large hipster contingent. It was thrown by a bunch of fratboys who live in a big house off campus with a good (non-fratboy) friend of mine, who invited me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:08 PM
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129: I think hipster boys are kinda like the LUGs of the 90s.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:10 PM
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126: You monosexuals make me laugh.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:10 PM
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130.1: I apologize for 115

... you know the so-called "BitchPhd" is really Queen Azura, right?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:10 PM
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"Yuengling" is one of the few German words that seems Chinese at first sight. The Norwegian surname "Ing" is also a Chinese name, a regional variant of the name "Wu".

You're all quite welcome.



Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:11 PM
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Some of us are less than monosexual.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:12 PM
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134: Are you saying you're bi because you can't tell the difference?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:13 PM
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But at least you aren't whipping out your Male Gaze all the time.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:14 PM
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Eelful people are always sexually ambiguous.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:14 PM
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137:

less than monosexual

nihilosexual?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:14 PM
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138: No, but I do love it when I can't tell the difference.


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:14 PM
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136: Thanks, Mr. Claven.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:15 PM
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I just got a spam explaining that Dubya is bisexual and was caught in flagrante in 1984 with the Mayor of Nashville, now Ambassador to Poland. Not that there is anything wrong with that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:16 PM
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133: Really?! Why didn't they have those when *I* was in college?


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:16 PM
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114: I am a master baiter. Seems like a shame to let it go to waste.

Also "the feminists" is a little reductive. Mostly I meant you.

126: Certainly not. When I look at a woman I see a terrifying, unknowable enigma.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:17 PM
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Possibly because the boys always develop more slowly than the girls.

Or, y'know, maybe it's just you.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:18 PM
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129: I think hipster boys are kinda like the LUGs of the 90s.

LUGS?


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:19 PM
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Ah, I see, the "experimenters".


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:20 PM
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86: It shouldn't surprise me, but whenever I go to Portland, ME, I have to get used to seeing all of the chubby hipsters (as hipster as Maine gets, I guess.)


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:21 PM
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Oh, so in re: 114: the other day at the campus pub, this big ol' frat boy dude kept screaming when he lost points in foosball. I asked him, in the most sympathetic tone I could muster, if it was 'roid rage, causing everybody else to flash their best "dude, don't go there, not cool" expressions at me.

So THERE.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:24 PM
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A little defensive, are we?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:26 PM
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152: More than a little.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:30 PM
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Are you saying you're bi because you can't tell the difference?

No, he says he's bi because when he has sex, he has to buy it.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:38 PM
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153: Didn't read the whole thread, but you done messed up. The shrug and "look, it sucks, but shit happens" really isn't sufficient. The proper response to assholery is condemnation first and loudest, handwringing over the inability to stop it second. Not 'tother way around.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:40 PM
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If we're still making fun of the hipsters, then I have to refer you all to today's Cat and Girl.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:41 PM
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Are you saying you're bi because you can't tell the difference?

No, he says he's bi because when he has sex, he is neither around, about, aboard, above, beside, beneath or between it.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:46 PM
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(1) Fontana Labs
(2) Multiple posts featuring full-frontal male nudity. No equivalent female nudity.
(3) Solicitation of explicit photographs of the genitalia of male commenters. At first we thought this was a joke, but then a special email account was created just for their receipt. Fairly certain I recall that ogged saved the results on his computer.
(4) Near-daily nearly-naked videos of Phelps, the only plausible interest of which is prurient.

I think it's fair to say this is the gayest blog I read. Probably fair to say it's a "gay blog", full stop.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:49 PM
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this is the gayest blog I read

You need more Ladybunny in your diet.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:55 PM
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155: We reached that consensus about thirty comments in. Didn't stop people from saying I was advocating all women wear Burqas.

In any case, I mostly meant to point out that yes, I am extremely defensive when talking about feminism and related issues. Lots of offline and/or privileged reasons for that, but really, I just enjoy giving you shit in a way I'm not sure I could on e.g. your blog or SG because of the pissed-off/misogynist (respectively) proles about.

Hope that makes sense.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 6:56 PM
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160: Perfectly, and it's one of the reasons I hang out here as much as I do. I do get the Burqa thing, though--it's much like the recent flap over Kos implying that Sierra could have made it all up. Yeah, there are assholes out there who harass women. It would be nice if the guys who aren't assholes would focus on condemning the jerks, rather than telling us there's nothing we can really do about it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:00 PM
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That sounds bitchier than I intended it to, btw. I'm not trying to scold, just explain.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:02 PM
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he says he's bi because when he has sex, he is neither around, about, aboard, above, beside, beneath or between it.

H.G.-Wells-o-sexual.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:03 PM
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161: I get it, too, but really, I was working pretty hard to learn why my knee-jerk reaction wasn't the correct one, and where I could find common ground with Ilyka, and that still didn't stop people from (a) bitching me out and (b) refusing to believe this was a conversation that could be carried out in a substantive way.

In a way, I'm trying to rebuild (the tearing down tying into the privileged/offline mentioned above) my lifelong relationship with feminists/feminism, and this site helps with that, if that isn't too pretentious.

Probably is too pretentious. I've got a couple beers in me.

Back to the cock jokes?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:12 PM
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143: Clavin, I think you mean. Mr. Claven is an Australian Socialist. I was willing to be him, but it made your post completely pointless.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:17 PM
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163: Help! I google "H.G. Wells" and "prepositions" but I still don't get it.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:17 PM
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No cock jokes yet!

You realize, of course, that the problem is that (1) Ilkya isn't responsible for what other women write; not even other feminists. We really don't have meetings where we come up with coordinated plans make liberal guys feel guilty. (2) See, the ladies tend to lose their tempers because when we try to have substantive conversations, it doesn't keep the boys, whether arrant assholes or well-meaning doofuses, from continuing to derail *our* substantive conversations. Being expected to be patient with every Tom, Dick, and Beefo Meaty does wear one down a little, and can lead to crankiness.

My less condescending response is what I used to try to tell the guys here before everyone except Ogged learned not to be such a dick. Of course you're sexist, what with not having been raised under a rock and all. It's not really worth being defensive about. If you fuck up and realize it, you offer the apology. If you're accused of fucking up and don't get why, you just ask. And if you don't agree with the explanation, then all you gotta do is say so as politely as you want us to.

God, that was humorless.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:20 PM
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"A frightful queerness has come into life ... there is no way out or around or through the impasse. It is the end."
--Mind at the end of its tether. H.G. Wells. 1945.

"Frightful Queerness" would be a great name for ... something.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:27 PM
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167: Very few things in my life are worth being defensive about. Hasn't stopped me so far.

167.2(1) I didn't say you or Ilyka or anyone were making me feel guilty. I handle that all on my own. As far as (2) goes, well, right, that's why I largely stay out of the comments on feminist blogs. Doesn't mean I don't ever want to subject my opinions about the things being said on those blogs to substantive criticism without being advised to rtfm every 2 seconds.

Also 167.3 is pretty much the kind of thing I was referring to in 164.2. Not the way things have ever been expressed to me previously, and welcome.

I'm sure you get tired of repeating these points. I get tired of saying New Orleans is doomed, but here we are, swimming against the tide.

Cock jokes now?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:39 PM
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Now the cock jokes.

A mad scientist with a tiny penis devotes his entire career to finding a remedy for his problem. Finally, one day, he downs his latest concoction and feels a tingling in his pants. Quickly, he unzips and out pops his new enormous cock.

Delighted, he goes to the phone and dials of the only girl he ever dated, many years ago. Of course, he's never forgotten her phone number. After half an hour or so of explaining who he is, and a lame excuse for why he's suddenly calling her out of the blue, she agrees to meet him for dinner that evening.

Somehow, perhaps because of his newfound confidence, the dinner goes well, and she agrees to return with him to his place. Eager to show off his professional accomplishments, he no sooner pours and hands her a drink than he unzips and boinnnggg! all is revealed.

"So, what do you think?" he asks.

"You know," she says, "there's a lot more to sex than the size of your cock."

So then they sit around and talk about politics for a while.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:41 PM
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170: I will contact the 12" pianist to accompany, then.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:43 PM
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So this is a joke in two or more parts, I take it?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:43 PM
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"mad scientist" s/b "red-headed pathologist"


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:43 PM
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172: Indeed.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:44 PM
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172: Are you saying it wasn't funny?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:47 PM
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174: Dude, I fucking just ate. You could at least append an NSFW.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:48 PM
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It would've been funnier if she said that after they had sex.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:48 PM
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176: NSFE?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:49 PM
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117 to 170.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:50 PM
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But she didn't, see. Because it's true. That's what the scientist never got, and it was only once he had the confidence that he was able to get her back to his place.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:50 PM
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I fucking just ate

That's weird, it didn't make me hungry at all.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:50 PM
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Dude, I fucking just ate. You could at least append an NSFW.

yeah, I've learned to at least hover and look at the URL while at work.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:50 PM
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I thought it was funny.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:52 PM
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183 to 174


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:54 PM
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The second picture, in which the scrotum and testes are removed, makes it look like two white-topped mushrooms leaning against one another.

And I liked your joke, B.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:55 PM
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We men prefer jokes that end with unexpected slapstick rather than petering out ambiguously. The last line should be "and then she slapped him upside the head with her enormous cock".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:55 PM
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"Petering out". Yuk, yuk, yuk.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:58 PM
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174 to 186 re: petering out ambiguously.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:58 PM
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I'm, I'm . . . sorry, boys. My jokes have always worked before. I swear. It's just . . . I find you all so sexy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 7:58 PM
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The joke was funny, but ST ruined my laughter. Forever.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:01 PM
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Don't worry, b, it happens to everyone sometimes.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:04 PM
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189 is funny.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:07 PM
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192: You just don't understand women, Ben.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:08 PM
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The joke was funny. B. has my newly found admiration, actually not for the joke, but for 167.2. or .3.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:09 PM
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170 was funny.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:20 PM
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157 reveals that Wrongshore was raised Catholic.

I was in a bar once, and Beefo Meaty shows up, drunk, advocating that all women wear burqas. He made a good case, actually.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:24 PM
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Jesus, President Bush was just on TV comforting the Virginia Tech people. I don't know how they could stand it. The last person I'd want to hear. The TV people gave him some air time.

My late mother, God bless her, had to leave the room whenever Bush came on. I hardly ever watch TV but hearing his voice once can ruin my day.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:29 PM
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165: Well played, sir.

Likewise to 174.

Speaking of Bush, here's Lee Iacocca.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 8:53 PM
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167 was humorless but necessary.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:36 PM
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Actually, I've seen B make the "sexism isn't worth being defensive" point in 167 many times before, and I don't know that I've ever been entirely sold on it. It sounds awfully similar to "everyone's a little bit racist" to me. Maybe so, but the level of racism (or sexism) one is prepared to single out and condemn should be the kind of thing that's worth getting defensive about.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:48 PM
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200: I'm happier not being defensive than I am not being sexist.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 9:53 PM
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170: Funny right up til the last line. It should have been:
You know," she says, "there's a lot more to sex than the size of your cock."

He stands, face turning red with rage, and yells "FUCK YOU, CLOWN!"


Posted by: Hamilton Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:29 PM
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200: Disagreed. Depends on who you're talking to. In a group where you assume that garden variety silly racist bullshit isn't tolerated, subtler racism can be addressed. I consider this such a group w/r/t race, class, and sex.

202: Bi you may be, but you're definitely a guy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:33 PM
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203.1: You can pry the last vestiges of classism from my cold, dead hands, PhD.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:45 PM
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BitchPhD is just caught up in our penis power.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:53 PM
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Can we have the class discussion tomorrow? I'm all teached out tonight.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:54 PM
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206: Sure, I mean, who provides the counterargument? Should we go hunt around the streets? Or maybe a craigslist ad?

205: Dude, you got my back man. You and me, we're the type of guys who share our Foxy.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:56 PM
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205: Dear god, I love that woman! It's the definitive "why do women like assholes" answer? Duh, because some of them are good in bed, and we like orgasms. Awesome.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:57 PM
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Can I just mention, if the way teachable moments are distributed is (a) telling well-meaning dudes the same three things about feminism over and over again vs. (b) telling ignorant big-city lawyers the difference between Foxy and 2-CI, well, score one for the patriarchy!

Go, team!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-17-07 11:58 PM
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I don't quite understand 209b, I'm afraid.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:01 AM
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I totally bow to her PhD in being mastered and used by men. She sounds like a woman who knows what she's talking about.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:05 AM
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b: this-alll


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:05 AM
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all has two l's in it.

I admit that, now.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:06 AM
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211: Her website, VaginaPower.info.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:08 AM
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Oh wait did you mean how is it that I define the patriarchy as my team?

It is my ethnic heritage. I have no choice.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:09 AM
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Can we have the class discussion tomorrow?

Just as long as you all realize you are bourgeois snobs ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 12:21 AM
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216: Dude, I'm the one who was arguing that 16yos having babies isn't the end of the world, remember?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 1:04 AM
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214 gives me a headache.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 1:06 AM
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re: 217

You may be allowed to do some of the typing and clerical work come the revolution.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 1:11 AM
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I'm just wondering, do most Unfoggeders read and type comments in the little window that pops up when you click the "comments" link beneath a post, or the full-browser view you get when you click on the "X comments on Y" links in the sidebar?

I'm a full-browser guy, myself.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 1:16 AM
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219: That's cool. As long as you don't ask me to get coffee.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 1:23 AM
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Actually B, now you mention it, a coffee would be nice.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 4:38 AM
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220: Both, without any real pattern, though I expand the browser window to full-screen either way.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 6:33 AM
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I use what comes up. Under the post is the small screen, most recent comment navigates to the large.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-18-07 6:47 AM
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