He didn't say "masturbated to orgasm," he said "play with their dogs penis." Those are two different things.
I just have more confidence in the youth of today that they wouldn't be a bunch of teases.
So their business plan presumes that people are going to pay $40 a month to become dog-walkers? Don't expand worldwide all at once, Flexpetz.
I wouldn't pay for the privilege but I did consider offering to walk my neighbor's dog in my old building every now and then.
$40 a month
Haven't read the link yet and may not; but I am envisioning a kind of Netflix deal, where you pay your monthly premium and have dogs shipped to you with a prepaid return envelope -- you can keep say 3 of them but will not get the next one on your queue until you return one of them.
Hey, what happened to the formatting?
I just take my novelty leash out for a walk. Everyone thinks I'm walking my invisible dog.
Girls love it, at least the invisible ones.
3: Fair enough. I guess if you're going to engage in beastiality you might as well go whole hog.
Am I hallucinating, or did the image stored at http://www.unfogged.com/mt-static/images/ruleblack.jpg just change from a black line to a white line?
Aha! Seems to be some weirdness on the part of the Firefox ImageZoom add-on's new version.
An old roommate used to be pathologically into dudes who look really happy cuddling a baby. I am pathologically into dudes who look really happy cuddling a dog. On the other hand, if I found out it was a rental, I'd be horrified.
On the other hand, if I found out it was a rental, I'd be horrified.
Easy: rent a dog for a couple of hours, get a girl's number, call her up and plan a date, call to cancel all emotional "because your dog died", call her in a couple of days saying you'd like to see her but are still too bummed about your dog to go out and would she rather come over and watch movies instead?, sleep with her, never call again. I don't think you understand this segment of the market.
pathologically into dudes who look really happy cuddling a baby
This is not uncommon, says a guy who loves cuddling babies.
I'm not advocating 13. I'm just saying it could totally be done.
13: Actually, that happened the other way around once. I got Friendstered back in 2003 by a cute dachshund whose "daddy" thought I was attractive. I went out with the dachshund's daddy. He was nice, some rock star from the late 80's I found out later was pretty famous. We had a great time. He wanted me to meet his dachshund.
He didn't call. I was surprised. I checked his dachshund's Friendster site to find that the little critter had died in an apartment fire while his dad was on tour with a band. All his friends were there, leaving really sad messages about the last time they'd seen him.
For a moment I was like, Jesus, dude, we didn't have to have a second date if you didn't want to. But he didn't seem like the type who would pull such an elaborate hoax about his best buddy.
Apo, did you know that Abraham Lincoln used to borrow babies to cuddle under his coat while he thought? They calmed him while he was writing speeches.
There's been rent-a-pet businesses in Japan for a while now, I think. However, I don' t see the point of getting involved with two biological organisms just sleep with one.
My coblogger was just telling me that pet fads in Japan are really scary-intense and short. Chihuahuas went out and all these chihuahuas got put down. Before that, it was huskies. Ship 'em in, kill 'em off, buy another.
Is 16 a true story about something that actually happened to you? Or a funny thing you made up spinning off of 13?
I get all gushy and happy at the sight of men cuddling babies, and I often beam at them. However, I do not expect these men to try to pick me up.
Expect the unexpected! I did not know that about Abraham Lincoln, AWB.
But he didn't seem like the type who would pull such an elaborate hoax about his best buddy.
What an unusual fellow he must have been. But rock stars tend to be a little outre, accent acute, if you know what I mean.
14: That's because your kid is abnormally cute.
17: I'm trying to make that a likeable trait about Lincoln, but I keep ending up at creepy.
OK, who's up for writing the screenplay About A Dog? Guaranteed audience. It's a parable about a cynic who finds himself more than a little attached to his rented animal friend, and eventually leashes for 12 months instead of renting. In the end he saves Tiny Tim from polio and marries the dog. Actually I'm still working on the ending.
"Oh, what a lovely little dog! What's his name"
"Er, I dunno"
"You don't know??!!"
"No, like a rented him - or is it a her?" [Kicks dog over to take a look]
To be continued
You're all familiar with Joe Frank's "Rent a Family", right?
I get all gushy and happy at the sight of men cuddling babies, and I often beam at them. However, I do not expect these men to try to pick me up.
Not without setting the baby down first, anyway.
16b gets it exactly right. Also, 31.
Further to 6: if the dog arrives damaged or unwalkable, you can notify the company through their web site and they will send a replacement without waiting for the damaged dog to be returned.
I was going to ask what happens if you can't get the same dog twice and so you take Second Stringer down to the dog park the next week and everyone is like, "Weren't you here with a Retriever last week? What's up with the Pug?" But then Becks explained it and I learned to hate people just a little bit more.
27: during hard times he lets his dog lease expire, and the dog is repossessed and rented out to an apparent sailor from a foreign ship who turns out to be have been using fake ID. The dog is not returned on time. Crazed with loss, the ex-cynic rages through the waterfront until he bursts into a room where a pot of Fido stew is almost ready to serve. He returns to cynicism, but this time with more of a Dirty Harry streak.
Psychopaths who love dogs -- man, what a profile. You gotta write your singles ad.
Am I the only person who kind of likes this idea? Granted, it's hard on the animals. I would probably avoid such a thing, but I do heartily love dogs and have always wanted one. I've just traveled too much for my entire life, and probably will start traveling too often again in a dog's lifetime. If I could take care of a dog for a month or so, knowing that it would find another good home after I had to give it up, that'd be awfully tempting.
Some kind of breed rescue group? I have the unformed belief that groups like that are always looking for people to foster dogs until they can find them real homes.
Such things definitely exist for kittens and puppies that are too young to be adopted - you can foster parent and give them bottle-feedings. You can't really take them to the park to catch a frisbee, but maybe you could put them in an old fashioned pram and wheel them around your apartment.
39, 40: Yeah, I don't know if those places allow you to take dogs out or bring them home. I used to volunteer at my local animal shelter to help walk and socialize the dogs until they could find homes, but I fell out of the habit after moving into the city.
Be careful with the pet-fostering, though. My friend took a dog in "for a while, before he gets adopted" and now he's the center of her life. A pit bull! but a real sweetheart.
You can definitely foster. Look into independent rescue groups in your area (the vast majority of what we think of as dog pounds do not foster). Odds are high that they're in desperate need of short-term foster homes. The dog would for all intents and purposes be yours for the duration of fostering but (a) you would be expected to be OK with giving it up when it finds a permanent home and (b) you'd have to be available to potential adoptive people who want to meet a foster dog and you might be expected to help judge their suitability as a permanent home depending on the standards of the group for which you foster. If you're willing to take older dogs who are less likely to get adopted quickly they'll probably fall at your feet in thanks; adult rescues are the last ones adopted out because everyone wants the adorable puppy.
43 is genius, it shows why this FlexPup business is doomed to failure. Having an adult dog is even better for subterfugingly meeting women, because you can say "Yep...yep...I pretty much grew up with this dog...we're pretty loyal to each other..."
Somehow I think that rescuing cats is not a way to score the chicks. "Alone? I wouldn't call it living alone when I enjoy the company of my 27 beloved cats! Wanna come by meet them?"
45: Only if you take them out for walks.
Or take them for a stroll in your pram.
Heebie, you're going to be an awesome eccentric in about 40 years.
Not so eccentric that the internet doesn't have your back.
If you live near a veterinary school, you might be able to walk lots of different, nice, lonely dogs for free. They often keep dogs on as blood donors, and they need to be walked.
my cousin, who is the mackingest person of all time, pulled this stunt once getting a dog at animal rescue to pick up girls in the park, but after he found he had to pay neutering costs, buy x amount food etc. he decided he would just keep the dog, who became lifelong loyal pet/chick magnet.
I quit picking up girls at the park when I found out about the cost of food and neutering and the possibility of vermin infestation. The movies make picking up girls make it seem easy and fun, but they're all shills for the relationship racket.
I once had a bulky Tibetan sweater that was a chick magnet even when I was wearing it. Not only was it too warm for Portland 335 days of the year, it also didn't break the wind at all and made you smell like a sheep.
it also didn't break the wind at all and made you smell like a sheep
So it didn't really need to break wind.