"Be professional. Refrain from putting on a soundtrack for the event."
"Keep in mind you are ordering a naked person to obey you: be direct, alert, and civil."
Wonderful. I now have a new windows boot wav.
Also, they check the hair but not the pubes. Something to keep in mind.
I thought it would be Shue. No such luck.
maintain a high level of sexual tension. this will allow you ensure your viewers are more uncomfortable than the strapping young frisky subject of the search.
"if he's uncircumcised, ask him to pull back the foreskin."
Okay, there's a good reason to circumcise your kids.
Also why do these guys have the yuppie-in-a-sears-ad haircut?
My. What an unexpected combination of creepy, interesting, and titillating.
What did that mean, "the larger breast?"
Could that "jail" be any whiter? I spent a few hours in a holding tank in Utah County, and even that one wasn't as white.
7: I won't mock you only because you're gay. Breasts aren't perfectly symmetrical; one's usually a little (sometimes a lot) bigger than another.
That question is nothing. It wasn't that long ago one of the resident wingnut/libertarian commenters during a foreskin discussion asked if women had an analogous structure. Awesome.
10: If memory serves, I *did* mock that one.
I'll just say that if I hadn't made a study of the issue, the idea of clit hoods would have passed me by, too. It's not inexperience, just that all the women I had the opportunity to, uh, examine in that way didn't happen to have particularly prominent ones. I keep having to find the thing based on vocal feedback rather than tactile input.
I'll just say that if I hadn't made a study of the issue
Just call it "watching porn" like the rest of us.
Clearly this was from the '80s, not just because of the clothing but because the guard was handling the inmate's tighty-whities and STUFFING HIS HANDS INTO HIS SOCKS without latex gloves. Eew.
Also, gswift needs to tell us what he was doing in Utah County lockup and whether his guard gave him the same smoldering looks we see in the video.
Okay, there's a good reason to circumcise your kids.
Also, so that they don't grow up to provide blogging material for Armsmasher.
My God, that was titillating!
Why no mention of the vaginal cavity as a place to hide stuff? The only differences in the male and female searches are the hair clips and breasts?
The only differences between the procedures for searching a woman and for a man are, (a) to ask the woman to remove jewelry; and (b) asking the woman to lift her breasts. So this means that the procedures for searching underneath the penis and testicles still apply...
Why no mention of the vaginal cavity as a place to hide stuff?
I was wondering the same thing. I was also wondering how, in the setting portrayed, with people at tables in a common room, someone can manage to stick something up his ass, but I probably just lack ingenuity.
Overheard today and too good not to share, and this seems to be as good a place as any: "See that one with the spiky hair? He's the one Hayley got fingered by when she was on her period in McDonalds."
It's the McDonalds detail that killed us.
Also, gswift needs to tell us what he was doing in Utah County lockup
Nothing exciting. A retarded godamn Provo court repeatedly scheduled a court date (minor traffic violation) for me during the summer. I'd told them ad nauseum that I was going to be back in CA all summer, and I needed a fall court date as there was no way in hell I was flying up to Utah for a traffic ticket. Naturally, they keep putting me in for dates I'll be out of state, I miss the date, bench warrant gets issued, and Murphy's law being in effect, I get pulled over for some other minor bullshit when I've been back in town for all of a day (Provo cops are the worst). So I get to spend half a day in a holding tank with several other guys, all minor drug offenders. Did have a murder arrest in the next cell. Young Samoan or Tongan guy. Shot a guy in the stomach at a party, and the guy died. Shooter knew he'd fucked his life up, was on suicide watch.
We had to bail my co-blogger Froz out of jail once because he'd forgotten about his court date for a seatbelt violation.
Does anyone believe gswift? There has to be a better story than that.
I know, pretty dull. Mostly we just sat around and shot the shit, and we got some time in the exercise area. Played volleyball with an old flat basketball.
23: One ex-boyfriend, for a similar problem; ignored the court date, nearly spent the weekend in jail as he was picked up at 3:30 on a Friday. And it was an open question for a while whether a similar violation by shivbunny back in 1996 would render him ineligible for a visa. (The answer: no, but you know how much immigration law and department of state handbooks I read to find that out? DO YOU?!?one!1)
Further investigation of gswift's story is needed. He still hasn't accounted for the dead dog, the stolen police car, the vial of sarin, the naked 13-year-old, or the late-night call from the CIA that set him free.
15 makes the point I was going to make, and also that our male guard looks like a poor man's Andrew Shue, and our female inmate looks like Allison Janney fallen on hard times.
The male guard had an extremely nasty, creepy, Bill Buckleyish look.