Wasn't that the Witches of Eastwick? Do you object to that? I don't have an opinion, I only vaguely remember it from long ago.
re: 1
Snoop Dogg would be a fantastic choice. He has such a great speaking voice.
Terence Stamp as God? Will he do it in that cool working-class London accent he's famous for? 'Cause God's my china.
Billy Crystal doing his Sammy Davis Jr. impersonation.
Al Pacino did a pretty good job of it already in Devil's Advocate.
Speaking of looking for a Satan, Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.
I liked Nicholson a lot as Satan.
But certainly ogged must agree that Elizabeth Hurley was also very fine as Satan.
Keanu Reeves.
This is brilliant. His not-necessarily-threatening opacity is perfect.
How about Ms. Treason-and-Godless herself: Ann Coulter
Ugh, Al Pacino. Ugh, Witches of Eastwick.
It really seems to me that Satan would be the easiest to cast; he's certainly the most interesting character.
Obviously the Righties should try to get Susan Sarandon to do Satan, but of course she's a girl. I vote George Clooney.
Keanu Reeves is one of America's great actors; it will be a hit if they use him. Although I think Pacino has already proved that he can do the role with style.
I vote George Clooney.
Another great choice!
The problem with Snoop Dogg is that he resolves one important bit of tension about whether Eve is herself drawn to sin or genuinely tricked. You don't do anything Snoop suggests without knowing it's naughty.
Alan Rickman would be a decent choice, too.
You don't do anything Don Rickles suggests without knowing it's naughty, either.
Satan was a hyperactive, rich forty-something who was always on the prowl for something "interesting."
Jeremy Piven?
I'm very sorry that George Burns is no longer among us when this role is being cast.
Morgan Freeman would be nicely confusing.
Deniro was good in what was otherwise a lousy movie Angel Heart http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0092563/
Satan would be the easiest to cast; he's certainly the most interesting character.
This isn't Paradise Lost we're talking about, here. It's not even the book of Job. It's the New Testament, in which Satan does just about nothing except for the temptation scene (kinda cool) and some stuff in Revelations.
Donald Sutherland. If he's still alive.
Or what about that aging Jewish frat-boy comedian that says "I can't get no respect" -- what's his name again?
otherwise a lousy movie
Hm. I remember liking that movie a lot. But I was much younger then. Isn't it by Alan Parker? His movies tend to generally not seem as good to me now as they did when I was a teen-ager.
30: He had many names, but Rodney Dangerfield was the most famous one. He died in 2004 at the age of 82.
Didn't feel like registering, so I didn't read the original article. How faithful a reproduction of the New Testament are they going for? Is it going to be word-for-word with no added stuff? If so, I think the only appearance Satan puts in is the bit tempting Jesus in the desert - a nice bit, but a cameo, really. I'm in favor of James Earl Jones, if he's still alive.
Sorry, the Revelation. People get on my case for my Southern Baptist lingo.
Satan was a hyperactive, rich forty-something who was always on the prowl for something "interesting."
Very astute. John Donne says that the sinner's heart is hardened by perpetual progress from sin to sin: now plotting to deceive, next dwelling on lust, then coveting, etc., etc. Of course, he also upbraids his congregation, saying that if they must ask whether they suffer from this hardness of heart, then they have it.
I saw Terence Stamp at breakfast at a hotel in Reykjavik a year or two ago. Took a bit of effort to keep from running up to him, yelling "The son of Jor-El will never kneel before Zod!" and running away laughing like an idiot.
30: He had many names, but Rodney Dangerfield was the most famous one. He died in 2004 at the age of 82.
Sorry, the Revelation. People get on my case for my Southern Baptist lingo.
Satan was a hyperactive, rich forty-something who was always on the prowl for something "interesting."
Very astute. John Donne says that the sinner's heart is hardened by perpetual progress from sin to sin: now plotting to deceive, next dwelling on lust, then coveting, etc., etc. Of course, he also upbraids his congregation, saying that if they must ask whether they suffer from this hardness of heart, then they have it.
I saw Terence Stamp at breakfast at a hotel in Reykjavik a year or two ago. Took a bit of effort to keep from running up to him, yelling "The son of Jor-El will never kneel before Zod!" and running away laughing like an idiot.
Satan was a hyperactive, rich forty-something who was always on the prowl for something "interesting."
Very astute. John Donne says that the sinner's heart is hardened by perpetual progress from sin to sin: now plotting to deceive, next dwelling on lust, then coveting, etc., etc. Of course, he also upbraids his congregation, saying that if they must ask whether they suffer from this hardness of heart, then they have it.
I saw Terence Stamp at breakfast at a hotel in Reykjavik a year or two ago. Took a bit of effort to keep from running up to him, yelling "The son of Jor-El will never kneel before Zod!" and running away laughing like an idiot.
Satan was a hyperactive, rich forty-something who was always on the prowl for something "interesting."
Very astute. John Donne says that the sinner's heart is hardened by perpetual progress from sin to sin: now plotting to deceive, next dwelling on lust, then coveting, etc., etc. Of course, he also upbraids his congregation, saying that if they must ask whether they suffer from this hardness of heart, then they have it.
I saw Terence Stamp at breakfast at a hotel in Reykjavik a year or two ago. Took a bit of effort to keep from running up to him, yelling "The son of Jor-El will never kneel before Zod!" and running away laughing like an idiot.
Sorry, the server's having some trouble.
Christ, even I don't think that Terence Stamp story's worth repeating that much.
pwned by awb. Also glad I resisted the temptation to hit "post" over and over again when the server didn't seem to be responding.
Elizabeth Shue, just for Ogged.
Elizabeth Shue, for Ogged.
Wait, no -- Scarlett Johansson, for me.
From 14: "If the Democrats take over the country, we will be dead, and we will have abortion and partial-birth abortion and the Republican Party will go into extinction," he said.
Zombie abortions. I love Utah politics.
28: Exactly, both good small parts. Easy money, dudes.
I agree that Alan Rickman would be awesome.
29: Donald Sutherland. If he's still alive.
33: James Earl Jones, if he's still alive.
Is "if he's still alive" the new "praise be upon him"? Seriously, was anyone really wondering if either of these fine actors had died?
p.s.: Abe Vigoda, if he's still alive.
46- This is a book on tape. Nothing to see here.
Have you ever read the list of character names Elizabeth Shue has played? It's like a bad baby name book. Jennifer, Kathy, Natalie, Caroline, Jenny, Molly, Linda, Lindsay, Laura, Anne, Emily, Jane.
47: Is anyone encouraging partial-birth adoption? That seems like the right note to hit, politically.
Satan should be played by Alvin and the Chipmunks. In unison. And occasional harmony.
Wrongshore, I'd like to introduce you to some friends of mine in Provo. You could really go places.
I'd like to change my entry to Wanda Sykes. Or Mickey Rooney. Or Andy Rooney. Or Cate Blanchett.
Weird, Jake Gyllenhall sprang to my mind too. Maybe that's because someone I know told me that yesterday, her daughter admitted to making out with him in high school.
"admitted to" s/b "boasted of"
"making" s/b "having made"
OT: Next time Ogged goes back to visit Iran, he'll have to lose the mullet and let his eyebrows grow out.
What's a "Western hair cut"? They may actually mean "1980s hair cuts" in practice.
"Eftekharri-Fard did not specify which hairstyles were being targeted, but conservatives in Iran have long been upset by the heavy use of styling gel, shoulder-length hair and the spiky 'big hair' styles sported by some of Tehran's young males."
Sounds like 80s hair to me.
As opposed to Eastern hair cuts?
Wait, yes, this is an audio-book? Since when does Marisa Tomei have a notable voice? (I don't really know who she is, except visually)
So, yeah, audio of Satan in teh New Testament? What role does he have there?
I go for Keanu. Utterly flat intonation. Couldn't crack a smile if it weren't ironic or about to collapse on the floor in either sexual abandon or exhaustion.
Like, this is a joke, right?
They should cast Jerry Falwell. If he isn't available, I would suggest the little girl from Little Miss Sunshine to mix it up a little.
Perhaps we should be fair and support the mullahs on this one. I think that a few strategic big-hair stonings of would have a very salutary effect.
Carrot Top.
Admit it, if he voiced Satan we'd all listen to the Revelations, at least.
Marisa Tomei as Mary Madgalene? Jesus wept.
Jesus wept
[trying to come up with a joke about Jesus (like his Italian co-Jew George Costanza) having the hots for Tomei, but failing miserably]
The Islamic Republic of Iran: against product.
William S. Burroughs would have made the best Satan. Too bad he's dead.
How about Gilbert Gottfried?
No way WSB would have been a better Satan than George Burns. No fuckin way.
A-and think about it! Then they could have type-cast John Denver as Christ!
God, that stuff is so weird.
It sounds like the mullahs are entirely in agreement with your assessments of Iranian guys' lack of style sense, actually.
How about Gilbert Gottfried?
Scratch Carrot Top, I'm changing my vote to this.
Harvey Feirstein is better suited for the narrator of the Song of Solomon. For Satan, George Takei would be ideal.
Think of the consumer, though. People want to be reassured that teh Gay is the devil, so Fierstein is your guy.
But Firesteyn doesn't sound remotely gay. What you're after is John Waters.
Takei is gay too, BTW.
Sadly, George Takei's evil gay laughter sounds neither particularly gay nor particularly evil.
Isn't Fierstein's trademark his gay gravelly voice? And holy shit is he older than I remember.
84 -- Wouldn't Nathan Lane be a better pick?
So, yeah, audio of Satan in teh New Testament? What role does he have there?
There's the temptation in the desert.
67. Mullahs vs. the Mullets. Film at 11.
90: Can't we all just get along?
"Gravelly voice" is not one of the 500 top stereotypical gay attributes, as far as I know. Firestine is unique, not some sort of archetype.
Ooh! I know -- Estelle Getty!
Gary Coleman. Or, since he's currently unemployed, Tom Delay.
Terry Gross would be great in the temptation in the desert scene. She would just stand there, all four and half feet of her, and sound sympathetic at Jesus.
David Sedaris would totally take the gig, I bet.
This thread lacks any structure whatsoever.
Emerson's mom ...lacks any structure whatsoever.
93- Gravelly should modify "gay voice." Take away the gravelly and he's got the stereotypical lisp.
I always thought that Terry Gross was a minion of Satan, so this would be a nice promotion for her.
If we're chosing from NPR, one of the Car Talk guys would be awesome.
And he would have to refer to God in the third person as "my brotha".
Maybe Satan should sound petulant, rather than charismatically, decadently corrupt. I think one of the 20th century European theologians remarked that no one ought to know better than Satan the futility of his efforts. Not much audience appeal to be found in a Satan who is nagging, thwarted, bitter and burning with envy and jealousy, though.
No, if we're choosing from NPR we must choose one or the other of the hosts of The People's Pharmacy. Gah! It burns just to think of them.
I don't think we've given any thought yet to having Samuel Jackson play Old Scratch.
"Hi, I'm Lynn Rossetto-Satan, and this is the desert. I'm here today with John the Baptist, who against my better judgment (heh, heh) has developed an entire cuisine based only on locusts and honey!"
if you're going for Teh Ghee, South Park's Satan is pretty good.
Malcolm McDowell might be good too, oh my brothers.
111. Worse, yet. Dick Estell. His voice literally makes me grind my teeth.
GODDAMMIT, Clownae! Almost to the end of the thread and I think I have a new suggestion, but noooooooooooooooooooooo! *seethes*
I guess since this is a voice-only thing, Mark Hamill. Or maybe the guy who did the voice of The Tick.
Martin Sheen. No, wait...Charlie Sheen. There we go. Sounds oilier than his dad.
118: That would be Patrick Warburton, aka Puddy from Seinfeld.
Patrick Warburton played The Tick in the live series. The voice of the Tick in the cartoons was apparently Townsend Coleman.
Please do not make me deploy more nerdy Tick knowledge. Please do not.
Didn't Alec Baldwin recently audition for this, in a roundabout way?
"Tick, I'm Jewish. Dot's Jewish. You're ... you're bluish."
C'mon folx, there's only one person who could read Satan's part in company with those other fine actors.
Emo Philips.
Thread is now over.
Johnny Depp, people, Johnny Depp.
Tho' Dakota Fanning would be a good second; the Prince of Lies presenting an innocent face...
"Not in the face! Not in the face!"
"Very good, Arthur! That can be your battle cry."
No, Johnny Depp has to play Elric of Melnibone.
Er, I mean, Brady Quinn? What the hell, Cleveland?
Hi, I'm Lynn Rossetto-Satan,
bwaahahahaha
Ira Glass would make a kind of disturbing Satan. David Sedaris, on the other hand, would have you rooting for the dark side.
121: D'oh! That's right, cartoon vs. live action. I hang my head in shame. Hang on--which of us should be ashamed for this?
131: Shame does not apply, for we love the Tick against our will.
against our will
The "white slavery" of the new century.
Does ClownA not know that George Burns did, in fact, play the devil in "Oh God, You Devil"?
Hence my suggestion. He rocked.
