The Feminists of America are officially against nut-tasering. For the record.
No, they just sent a Very Stern Letter threatening to yank my membership.
The Feminists of America are officially against nut-tasering. For the record.
In the Official Literature, sure. But at the initiation ceremony? Makes Skull and Bones look like the Garden Club Luncheon.
Humorless fuckin' bitches, I'm telling you. Jeez.
Nut-tasering clubs are very depressing places.
Which is more exploited, the taserer or taseree?
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would taser my member.
Somehow we overlooked this when we were answering Magpie's question.
Have I mentioned the couple I knew in high school who reportedly used a taser as part of their sex life?
I very much did not want to know details.
This girl at my high school used to use a taser to masturbate her dog.
4: don't skull & bones already look like a garden club luncheon?
11: I heard, like, 90% of high school girls do that.
12. Remind me not to do any gardening in your town.
If you taser someone in the nuts, be sure to tell him he earned his pay today.
I used to know a bunch of garden club ladies who liked to play a game called Taser Chicken.
and strap a taser on his head and set him loose!
This reminds me of an philosophical example of J. L. Austin's:
You have a donkey, so have I, and they graze in the same field. The day comes when I conceive a dislike for mine. I taser it in the nuts, but afterwards find to my horror that it is your donkey.
The only way to still the laughter of squirrels is to taser them. In the nuts.
I think the post is referring to my incredulity about the tinfoil-wrapped penis in the electric socket. Which was clearly fakery.
A taser to the nuts, by contrast, doesn't seem so bad. Isn't that more or less (lower voltage, I assume) how the more mechanical sperm-donation clinics work these days? A taser to the nuts 'till you fill the cup? I've heard it's fairly unpleasant (especially when compared to the low-tech, naughty-magazine-and-a-bottle-of-lube methods used in the sperm-donation clinics of your grandfather's day), but not at all unbelievable.
(And given that it's how sperm donation clinics work, I assume word has gotten around that it gets you off (perhaps the part about unpleasantly didn't get transmitted quite as well), which means it's not surprising in the least that you'd have dozens of dolts on the internets shocking their poor innocent balls in search of cheap thrills.)
There are mechanical sperm-donation clinics? My God, why?
What possible need could there be for mechanical sperm-extraction, given the general reliability of the traditional method?
Because that way they don't have to stock enough porn to float every man's boat?
No idea, really, but the concept seems very American.
I wonder if sperm clinics employed people to "help" you collect a sample, whether that would be considered prostitution.
28: No, because the donors wouldn't be paying them directly. Kinda like fluffers and porn actors.
The cool, clean lines, white coats and medical legitimacy of sperm clinics is contantly threatened by the presence of cheap porn in the booths where the donors produce the goods. It requires a lot of Goffmanian repair work to sustain the interaction setting.
Ideally, sperm clinics should just select for people who are simply turned on by the clinical setting.
26: well, I'm not having you on, but given that wikipedia doesn't mention this, it's possible I've been had. Although if so, it's come at me from several different sources over the years, so at the very least it's a broadly-distributed falsehood, which supports the main idea of 22.
(And I've actually heard the story from a close friend who used to donate sperm not uncommonly (in more "traditional" shops), and who I don't think would have had occassion to be pulling my leg about it.)
32: Thus producing a race of healthcare workers.
A taser to the nuts, by contrast, doesn't seem so bad
The video evidence indicates that Brock is either having us on, despite his assertion to the contrary, or that he is totally, totally high. Or maybe that he doesn't actually have nuts.
I had a super-hot suite-mate, my second year, who was a sperm donor at the university hospital's fertility clinic. He could only go three times a week, could have no sex within a measure of days before donating and got $40 in cash per visit. He said the worst part was when the nurse would hand him a great big potpourri of porn rather than let him pick a favored variety.
master race of horny healthcare workers
"great big potpourri of porn rather than let him pick a favored variety"
"Gay, gay, bondage, asian, gay, gay, bestiality... dang it, don't you guys have Juggs Jr.?"
He could only go three times a week, could have no sex within a measure of days before donating
Wouldn't this mean no ejaculating except at the clinic?
I tried out for sperm donation (via the traditional method) in grad school, but my stuff wasn't up to their rigorous standards.
36: Or that his baby, cute as he is, ate his brain. (Gotta watch those babies.) Seriously, you guys had a whole thread about how getting kicked in the nuts was the worst thing evah, and you're saying tasering isn't that bad?
34: Important, as the aging baby boomers require slaves talented personnel trained in geriatrics.
I tried out for sperm donation (via the traditional method)
That's one audition where you really don't want to get stage fright.
a great big potpourri of porn rather than let him pick a favored variety
I'm not sure I'm quite seeing the problem here. Is it that he had to sift through the Wrong Porn, before gettin' on dooown?
Clearly they're just trying to thicken that skin.
Brock was not lied to, by the way. Except I imagine hope it's only used when traditional methods failure.
Since we used an egg donor program, I was essentially our sperm donor. Other people have romantic stories about how their children were conceived; I have the less than romantic memory of jacking off in a cup. But now I can at least be happy that I didn't have to be tasered.
47: My Latin's a little rusty. Could you provide a translation?
Let me clarify, yet again: I doubt that which happens in, say, the link in 46, is quite like the experience of a taser to the nuts. As my original comment conceded, I'm sure there's an appreciable and all-important difference in voltages between the two. BUT, that doesn't mean some dumbass wouldn't think a taser to the nuts could get him off, on the knowledge that that's how the pros do it.
Also, at least according to my friend, there are at least some places where the method in 46 is not just for instances where "traditional methods fail". I am told that it's not only quicker and less messy, it also can produce significantly higher volume. In exchange for some discomfort, obviously, but there you go.
I haven't watched the videos.
Yet more further clarification: I hadn't actually read 46 before posting 50. Now that I have, I don't see anything about testicular-taserings. I feel like I've been lied to all over again. And that's what really hurts.
Electrical stimulation is close enough for me.
From the link in 46 (under "Sperm Banking"):
If unable to donate through sexual stimulation, sperm cells can be obtained through minor surgery or electrical stimulation.
Nonetheless, I doubt this has anything to do with whatever's going in the videos, which I have also not watched.
Eletric stimulation... must have missed that. That's indeed exactly what I'm talking about.
42: For the sake of an argument -- I think an important difference between the two is that tasering, while painful, does not have the crunch component, which I think is the key source of the "uniqueness" men fear vis a vis kicking.
significantly higher volume
Well, what I heard was that men produce a significantly greater volume of semen after an absence from their partner (even if they have been ejaculating like all get out in the interim). The ev bio people say it is to flush out potential foreign babies.
So, if the sperm banks want extra jizz, they should make men ejaculate in receptacles already full of foreign sperm.
Okay, having now watched the videos I'm quite certain those guys were not inspired by sperm-bank procedures.
56: Viewing porn with men in it accomplishes the same effect, I believe.
39: "I'm gonna need some scissors and paste if I'm supposed to collage something workable out of this."
40: Yes. In order to reap the maximum $120/week at the clinic he could do nothing but spank it in the cold, clinical confines of their office bathroom. It was to keep sperm count high, they told him, and a donor only got one strike on the sperm count before they disqualified him altogether.
44: It wasn't that he was miffed he couldn't tailor the experience to his own tastes, it was that the nurse would hand him a huge stack and he'd have to carry them all into the bathroom with a plastic cup in his other hand and everyone would be staring at The Porn King on his way into the gents'.
58: Interesting. And presumably the more men the better. So, in order to be most robustly manly in the pants, off to teh gay pr0n we must go.
59.3 Ideally he would have had to shuffle through there with his pants round his ankles.
Electrostim. Definitely more for fun than medical purposes, here.
Two questions:
Are we all complicit in the nut tasering epidemic (as opposed to only the men among us)?
Shouldn't there be a way for commenters who want to taser the nuts of bloggers to be hooked up with bloggers who want their nuts tasered, without it seeming kind of creepy?
59: In the office bathroom? The place where I tried out had a nicely furnished room for the purpose.
63: And when men get their nuts tasered on the Golden Gate Bridge, do they face the city?
Imagine if I had a decent webcam and a website devoted to having such things done to me. Half-price for the first 50 members; whoever donates a webcam gets 30 special shows!
Furthermore, having come out in defense of drinking Budweiser, will dsquared now defend nut tasering?
The two activities are really not that far apart in my book.
I'm not manly enough to watch those youtube videos. Mom tells me I cried about Bambi.
67: Linked, as they are, by causality.
67: 'nut tasering' won't do as a label in Britain. I suggest 'bollock-sparking'.
'Oi! Sparky-bollocks!'
When I was you had to produce semen with no help but your imagination and your strong right arm. No magazines, no films, no nothing. People today are spoiled.
One of the donors I knew turned out to be mentally ill. Within a few years of donating he was a mental. The other donor I knew was sane and healthy, but one of the most annoying Randians ever.
This doesn't affect you unless you were inseminated around 1978-1982 in Portland, Oregon.
71: Inseminated or born, one would imagine.
Strangely, the women seem to have left. Nice going, boys.
74: I think they're respectfully avoiding hijacking a thread about men's issues.
67: dsquared now defend nut tasering?
Far as I know, he always has.
Who can forget the classic post, "I taze the nuts of the progressives of this planet"?
I'm here too, wondering whether to admit I quite fancied the bloke in the second video.
9, isn't the nut-tasering part of a fun honeymoon rather than a fun wedding?
Depends who you want to be having the fun, I guess. Watching it happen looks like it would be entertaining for everyone - you could warn any men doing the speeches that if they got boring, they'd get nut-tasered. That'd be a fun wedding.
A surprise nut-taze would you whether a guy has a good sense of humor or not. Probably you won't know for sure until a day or two later when you bounce in and say "Ha! Was that fun or what?"
You know, it's truly a bit sad that the only time I really laugh at the majority of Unfogged comments (i.e. 99+% of them) is when I'm really toasted. I guess I just have a really big stick up my ass the rest of the time.
"I guess I just have a really big stick up my ass"
You could probably blast that sucker out with a taser.
The rest of us have been saying so for years, pdf.
86: Saying that *y'all* have the stick up your ass, or that *I* do? Cause I haven't been here that long.
:-P
87: Well, pdf, you did have that plan to set up a bank of arguments which would make actual arguing unnecessary, and it made you sound awfully robotic--and young.
74: We haven't left; we're just wondering whether any of you are strong enough to take this. [Note: Very NSFW]
88: I haven't given up on that, yet!
But I guess I've come to realize that the central problem is that people don't really respect the other positions most of the time when they dismiss them inappropriately, not that they're bad at arguing when they *do* respect the other positions. And that's not something any sort of structure can help with. Thank you, Emerson.
(Though I still think my idea would be useful, in a form, as a form of reference.)
89: I'll just go cry now. And hide. From you.
89: I'll just go cry now. And hide.
I'll second that. That was horrible. My penis is crying and hiding, too.
Was that a real penis or was it a model of some sort? Never mind, I already know which I prefer to believe.
94 almost drove me to rotten, but to be honest, I can't even really look at that stuff.
94 Ew. General gore doesn't bother me that much. It's just the damage to the nether regions that messes with me.
For me, it's the insanity on display.
Isn't it best that we know that it's out there? Ogged's conclusion is interesting, and I have to admit that I click on these things because, well, they aren't the bulk of humanity who do these things, but none of us represent the bulk of humanity. I would like to get over my vicarious horror through the magic of the internets so that when I inevitably meet one of these people, I'll be all "Oh yeah, I know all about BIID. You're not a monster to me."
AWB, you are what's wrong with liberal academia's lack of moral absolutes.
I'm cool with not treating people, in person, like monsters, but no, mutilating oneself or others to that extent is seriously fucked up.
I dunno, I think some of these things are, in fact, quite insane, and the people who do them should be regarded with deep skepticism, even as we do not condemn them.
Bad times. Those people hell bent on amputating a limb creep me out.
But is there a substantial difference between "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body" and "I'm a one legged person born with two legs"?
101: arguably being a woman is a healthier condition than being an amputee.
101.2: Yes. Being a woman is not, in better circles, considered a disability. But I think the comparison is a good one.
Yes, but there's a difference between recognizing something as a mental illness and reacting with moralism. I guess I just feel like I've met a lot of people with mental disorders that may be about harming themselves, not others, and my reaction is kind of like, get treatment. But my outrage or disgust doesn't do anything for them.
arguably being a woman is a healthier condition than being an amputee.
Well yeah. But still, the urge to hack off a major body part...ack.
Masturbate.
Masturbate.
Taser.
Masturbate.
Or, alternatively:
Taser.
Taser
Cry.
Taser.
I'm not saying that anyone here is insufficiently caring or anything, but that I used to be creeped out by things I now at least feel some familiarity with and understanding of, and, as a teacher, it's really helpful to be able to see fucked-up students as dealing with some really heavy shit and not some version of "Well, they should just stop," as if that were easy. But that's what my disgust makes me feel, that they should just stop.
Usually, with genital mutilation, I think, this is clearly a decision to make other than suicide.
109: personally, I'm not judging it morally. People should be able to do what they want to themselves. I just think it's a crazy-ass thing to do to yourself, and that people who do it, therefore, probably have some crazy-ass ideas about themselves and the world.
105--yes, agreed. But there's also a danger of normalizing self-damaging behavior (not the stuff in the links, of course, but more common things), or at least of being so afraid of stigmatizing someone that one lends support to screwed up shit, or to rationalizations for screwed up shit.
But obviously "well, just stop" is a stupid thing to say.
Some of these things are just objectively bad ideas, and I don't think it's treading on people's autonomy to point out that cutting functional pieces of your anatomy off may indicate dysfunction.
Still I do not click on apo's link. My spidey senses are developing nicely in this regard. Ignorance: a warm, fuzzy blanket in a cold, cold interweb.
You can click on my links, though. They're fine.
112: Sure, yes. I guess I'm thinking about a friend of mine, a MTF transsexual, who has arms completely covered with fresh scars. It's really disconcerting. And she has some really fucked-up ideas about the world. But that initial look of "Ick" that most people give her feeds into her depression and self-harm; it doesn't lead to getting care.
But yeah, clearly some of these BME folks are to the point where proudly showing off dismemberments passes the point of "dealing" and into exhibitionist "Isn't this bitchin'?" stuff. Like the twins who put one's arm onto the other's body? That seems to be about doing something really bitchin', at least according to the interview.
If we can recommend treatment of some variety or at least recognize it as a disorder when a person is compelled to turn the lights on and off thirty times before leaving a room I think we can safely say the same about chopping up their own bits. Maybe it's art to them, I dunno, but they've got a long row to hoe if they're going to sell me on that one. I don't want to shun them, I don't want to alienate them so it becomes their only refuge, but I don't want to deny they mightn't benefit from help.
Shit, there's an ever-enlarging shadow around me as though the words ANALOGY BAN were about to land on my head from a great height. I do believe it is time for the sleeping.
118: I am extraordinarily gullible.
120: perhaps you can get somebody's incredulity transplanted.
120: And don't read to the end of comment threads.
Can you really expect me to stay up that late? GAH!
Oh, nevermind. It was like 8pm my time. No excuses.
I had never noticed unfogged was on Mountain time. Good thinking. Here I was believing AWB lived in the ocean.
Global warming = more for me, suckahs!
As far as the people in this article, of course, that's rad.
Makes me wonder if the transhumanists aren't the wannabes of the recreational amputation scene.
89, 94: Surely, this is a variant of gay chicken?
114: For the last word on trepanation, you want this. (scroll down to item 20)
128: Eunuch chicken? Good lord, man, what kind of hellish frat did you belong to?
Reading that link in 128 is giving me a dull ache in the side of my head.
130: Not enough Jack Daniels, sounds like.
At times, ogged displays of flashes of apostrophical link-finding.
