Re: Great Cover Letter Opening Sentences

1

Thank you for valiantly trying to draw everyone away from that Harry Potter thread. Christ.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:12 PM
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2

Cock pic attached, I assume.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:14 PM
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3

This blog is dead; only its zombie corpse survives.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:19 PM
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4

"Thank you for the opportunity to present myself to you." s/b "Thank you falettinme be mice elf agin."


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:27 PM
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5

I was on the Board of a non-profit, interviewing for a new executive director.

A lady sent in a Glamour Shot photograph of herself. The picture was very sultry.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:30 PM
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6

Better than "Thank you for the opportunity to expose myself to you."


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:32 PM
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7

"Presenting oneself" sounds so baboon in heat.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:35 PM
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8

Just think, Ogged, if you'd gone the academic route, you could assign it a grade.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:35 PM
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9

Who wants to see pictures of heebie's red ass?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:35 PM
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10

You didn't have to interview me like you did, but you did, but you did, and I thank you.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:36 PM
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11

Sounds like a non-native speaker.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:41 PM
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12

Domo arigato, Mr. Human Resources Director. Domo! Domo!


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:42 PM
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13

I don't get it.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:44 PM
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14

I had an intense auditory near-hallucination as I read 12. I swear I could hear the synthesizer echo after each Domo.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:48 PM
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15

Who wants to see pictures of heebie's red ass?

Not me if it looks like a baboon's butt when presenting.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:55 PM
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16

Ogged has come to help you with your problems, so you can be free.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:55 PM
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17

15: It's just acne. B's being mean.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:59 PM
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18

And 15 kills evo psych dead.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 12:59 PM
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19

I've done my share of reproducing.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:18 PM
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20

Not that there is anything wrong with Heebie.

My son could have used some athletic genes from the other side of the family.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:19 PM
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21

The baboon butt doesn't help me in sports.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:20 PM
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22

My son could have used some athletic genes from the other side of the family.

I love genetic blame.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:22 PM
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23

"I love genetic blame. "

Shouldnt you be kicking?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:23 PM
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24

And, for another thing, are you suggesting that Phelps isnt helped by his genetic makeup?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:24 PM
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25

I think I'm coming down with something; haven't swum the past couple of days.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:24 PM
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26

When I read 24 my immediate thought was that you were talking about Fred Phelps.


Posted by: JGO | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:26 PM
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27

25:

Must be bad genes. I never get sick.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:27 PM
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28

Must be. My mom would say they're from my dad's side of the family.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:28 PM
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29

So Heebie has a baboon butt? Or a balloon butt?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:30 PM
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30

Actually, swimming is a great way to clear your snotty nose.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:31 PM
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31

Except that other people have to use that pool!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:33 PM
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32

29: It's kind of a prosthetic.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:45 PM
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33

Chlorine. Chlorine takes care of all of that. Poop, urine, snot, etc.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:55 PM
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34

Yeah, chlorine is magic. Although the polite thing to do is to blow your nose in the gutter and then splash some water to wash it down.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 1:58 PM
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35

34:

Agreed.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:02 PM
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36

At the beach, Ficke enlightened all of us with the knowledge gained from his years as a lifeguard with exactly how much chlorine one had to add to a pool and how long one had to wait before letting people back in for various excrement/bodily discharge situations.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:04 PM
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37

0 minutes


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:11 PM
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38

And here I thought this thread would contain some advice on applying for jobs.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:20 PM
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39

36: Yep. We had a little chart.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:35 PM
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40

I don't care how toxic chlorine is, I don't want to see someone snotting in my pool.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:37 PM
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41

You don't see it, precisely because you don't want to see it. Ogged splashed some water in the gutter. The snot unhappened.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:42 PM
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42

36, did you use a proper noun that you shouldn't have? I genuinely have no idea, but thought I'd ask.


Posted by: Anderson | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:48 PM
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43

42 - No biggie, I don't think. But thanks for checking!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:53 PM
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44

I S N O T A S C A R


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:55 PM
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45

41: I'm willing to suspend my disbelief at the actual time of the occurrence, if need be, but it's a bit much to ask me to contemplate the plan to snot beforehand, if you catch my drift.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:56 PM
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46

ISNOTASCOT


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:56 PM
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47

"I can be made available to interview at your convenience"

The hits keep coming.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:57 PM
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48

You're distraught at his snot plot, wot?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:57 PM
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49

46 wins.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:58 PM
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50

I'm always kind of embarrassed about how much water sloshes into, and thus must be spit out of, my mouth when using a keyboard. I sort of expect the lifeguard to yell at me for backwashing.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 2:58 PM
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51

50: "keyboard" s/b "kickboard."

It's coffee when I'm using a keyboard.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:00 PM
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52

I'm surprised you haven't got electrocuted from swimming with a keyboard.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:00 PM
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53

50: I am really enjoying the image of cerebrocrat typing blog comments while kicking his way down the pool.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:00 PM
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54

I'm always kind of embarrassed about how much water sloshes into, and thus must be spit out of, my mouth when using a keyboard.

Teach me to type like cerebrocrat.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:00 PM
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55

Shucks.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:01 PM
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56

50: You could try one of these.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:04 PM
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57

53: The bluetooth always goes out under the diving blocks.

1: It was a nice try, anyway. I second your "Christ."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 3:30 PM
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58

OT: A president who won't pardon a decent hardworking public servant who committed felonies for him has no honor.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 4:24 PM
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59

Let us know when you get your first lolresume.

I CAN HAS JOB?!?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 4:43 PM
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60

Also unnecessary: your favorite Heinlein quote in the sig of you introductory email.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 4:55 PM
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61

Yes, Rand is ever so much more appropriate.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 4:56 PM
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62

Okay, an lolresume peppered with Rand quotes it is.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:00 PM
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63

Serious resume question: where should I put magna cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa? I do want to include them, right?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:04 PM
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64

Put things that appear on your diploma on the same line as your degree -- i.e., AB, Magna Cum Laude in Philosophy, Standard University, 2008.

Put Phi Beta Kappa under a list of honors; it doesn't normally appear on your diploma.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:10 PM
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65

I do want to include them, right?

Yes. Where you put them depends on what you're highlighting, which depends on the kind of job you're after. But you're a young lad so I assume that your education figures prominently on your resume. Usually it will look something like:

Teo U Teoville
B.A. Major (Year)
Magna Cum Laude Phi Beta Kappa


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:11 PM
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66

Thanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:11 PM
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67

A is A, and I got lots of 'em: magna cum laude, baby, and Phi Beta Kappa.

Or you could put it in the education section.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:11 PM
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68

I guess my answer was more of a c.v. answer than a resume answer. Sorry.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:12 PM
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69

I could just go back to remedial typing and learn to post faster.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:12 PM
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70

60: If you didn't want to hire me you could have told me in person.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:12 PM
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71

Listen to slol.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:12 PM
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72

Rock me, Academus.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:12 PM
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73

I do want to include them, right?

Applying to any religious organizations? If so, make sure to work that virgin angle.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:13 PM
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74

MY PARINT R GOD AN AYN RAND


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:13 PM
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75

teo, you should take it as a sign of how much everyone likes you around here, that when you asked where you should put your magna cum laude and your phi beta kappa, no one gave you the obvious obscene answers.

i think they really like you.

or standards are just slipping.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:14 PM
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76

slol's right.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:15 PM
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77

Tim agrees with me. Apocalypse a-comin'.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:17 PM
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78

I thought we tended towards agreement, no? Except for the neurosis about being"undignified" and the "I'm worried about what she'll think if I don't know her eye color" thing, I mean. (How those two fit together, I'm not sure.) I feel like I've written "I agree with slol" a lot.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:21 PM
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79

I have tended to think of slol and SCMT as being fairly similar in their opinions, yes.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:21 PM
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80

Ah, but have you written it more than "Do you hate America, slol?" That is the question.

Also, I don't think I said anything on the great eye color debate.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:23 PM
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81

Evidence.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:23 PM
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82

Slolernr demands total obedience.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:24 PM
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83

and furthermore.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 5:25 PM
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84

Slolernr demands total obedience.

BOW DOOOOOWN!

Seriously, three times -- maybe about 1.5 times a year, by my count -- is, by you, "a lot"?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 8:16 PM
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85

Comity is a rare thing.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 8:16 PM
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86

84: slol, you psychopath, is there something oppressing you? I may not have written it as many times as I thought. The larger point was that I didn't think our opinions differed dramatically that often. I may have been wrong about that as well. Even if I'm right about that, I'm willing to pretend I'm wrong about it if it'll make you feel better.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 8:22 PM
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87

85: true.

Now false!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 8:39 PM
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88

87: Tricky!


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 8:40 PM
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