Re: A Rare NBA Post

1

Racist.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:06 PM
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I was just thinking about this earlier today. He is ugly. Or maybe a better way to put it is that he's attractive in the same way that Rothlesberger (sp) is: he's thick, he has a great body, and the requisite number of eyes, ears and noses.

Not a real problem though: MJ was special because he was attractive, but the league existed and even (sort of) thrived before that. Also, there is no aphrodesiac like success, which LeBron will have.

(I'm wavering back and forth on LeBron v. Kobe. The decider for me, at the moment, +is that I'm pretty sure I want LeBron in the last four minutes.)


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:11 PM
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Larry Bird? Not attractive.

Didn't seem to cause problems.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:14 PM
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Different media era. The NBA wants marketable stars now, and LeBron is the natural heir, but he's ugly. Kobe could have had it, but he doesn't seem likable and might be a rapist, so....


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:17 PM
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Also, Larry Bird is white.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:18 PM
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Racist.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:19 PM
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What you're saying, then, is that Kevin Durant is getting the best blowjob Stern has ever given?

Seriously though, everybody loves LeBron. I don't get what the problem is. I would put pretty good money on Game 1 Thursday getting better ratings than any finals game in a long time.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:20 PM
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I'm wavering back and forth on LeBron v. Kobe.

I'm pretty much with Ogged and Al from the Saiselgy thread. Kobe's a better defender, and is a scoring machine.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:23 PM
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From the article:

James, in contrast, is a brawny 6-foot-8 player who can sometimes score like Jordan or Kobe Bryant but who can also pass like the former N.B.A. star Magic Johnson

Beck you retard, go watch some old clips of Magic Johnson before you type.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:24 PM
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Which thread?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:25 PM
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On Yglesias's site.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:25 PM
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Sadly, James used to be a better passer than he is now. He was genuinely fun to watch that first year in the league.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:26 PM
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OK, as a non-sports-fan, I had no idea what LeBron looks like. So I did a GIS, expecting to see some hideous deformed soul. People, the guy looks fine. Maybe not movie-star looks, but you don't look at him and go, "Wow, that guy is UGLY!"


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:28 PM
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Another pro-:LeBron point: he gives you what you need. I can bring myself to expect 10-11 rebounds per game from LeBron if--because of player injury or whatever--needed. Not so with Kobe, who might have a could of such games in him, but not a season's worth.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:31 PM
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11: Oh, there's only one?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:32 PM
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Crap, I agree with GB. But I'll go further just for the sake of maintaining our animosity and say that in the few pics I looked at (which maybe were chosen because they were unusually flattering), LeBron was actually kinda cute.

Or do you mean that he doesn't move beautifully on the court?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:34 PM
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11: Oh, there's only one?

He's no longer the enfant terrible, you know.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:35 PM
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The chewing his nails thing I'll grant you. People shouldn't do that.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:36 PM
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I can bring myself to expect 10-11 rebounds per game from LeBron

Guys who can step up and pull a few extra rebounds a game a bit easier to come by then Kobe's scoring and defensive abilities.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:38 PM
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17: Yes, I found it (and though I do remember all the url changes, it's amusing to see so many different ones show up when you google him). I actually thought there were multiple Lebron threads, anyway; I haven't been reading there for a while.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:38 PM
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Here's the heart of the Kobe vs. LeBron matter: by whom would you rather be cuckolded so that you could better claim their genetic prowess was yours? There attractiveness becomes much more important, but I think I still say LeBron.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:39 PM
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Admittedly, Lebron still very young, so who knows. But also, he's already 255 pounds, and still very young. Let's see if he can avoid injury.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:39 PM
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I'm barely on the pro-Kobe side; like I said over there, only in a right-now comparison. And I was surprised to find that LeBron had more steals and more blocks this past season.

Now I'm going to bed, you racists.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:41 PM
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You're talking about a league whose superstars include Nash, Nowitzki, and Yao Ming, right? Lebron looks positively handsome by comparison.


Posted by: Andrew Myers | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:43 PM
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I was just thinking about this earlier today.

You guys are some kind of bees, aren't you?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:46 PM
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I don't know what that means, but it's funny.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:51 PM
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I've heard Lebron is rather sensitive about the size of his ears.

A lot of people resent Lebron and refuse to give him his due for no good reason except the amount of hype that accompanied him into the league. There's not a team in the NBA that wouldn't choose to have Lebron over Kobe.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 06- 5-07 11:57 PM
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I actually thought this NBA post was very well done, ogged.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:04 AM
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I'm barely on the pro-Kobe side

Ogged: objectively pro-rapist.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:06 AM
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#16: Heh heh heh...


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:12 AM
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If Ben and B both comment, that means it's technically not a sports thread anymore, right?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:17 AM
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No, it just means ogged gets pissy.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:21 AM
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And nothing's funner than irritating Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:38 AM
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A lot of people resent Lebron and refuse to give him his due for no good reason except the amount of hype that accompanied him into the league. There's not a team in the NBA that wouldn't choose to have Lebron over Kobe.

Bah. People like to see a guyactually prove themselves in the pros for a few years before they declare him the second coming lest they end up looking like one of those hosers who touted Danny Manning or Larry Johnson.

Lebron is looking like he might end up a better all around player than Kobe. Might. Kobe's put up better numbers for a longer time, has been to the finals 4 times, and has three rings.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:49 AM
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So if LeBron gets to play with someone as good as Shaq, you'll think he's as good as Kobe?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:56 AM
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The chewing his nails thing I'll grant you. People shouldn't do that.

The only way I stopped was by buying a dozen sets of nail clippers (good ones, not cheap ineffective ones) and nail files and leaving them everywhere I'd ever get the urge to bite my nails.


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 1:46 AM
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So if LeBron gets to play with someone as good as Shaq, you'll think he's as good as Kobe?

Did you get all depressed after Bush got re-elected and stop watching or something? Shaq left the Lakers three seasons ago.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 1:53 AM
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And not coincidentally, the Lakers stopped going anywhere in the playoffs three seasons ago. Kobe never singlehandedly carried a team as far as Lebron has this year.

Lebron *is* the second coming. Well before his arrival in the NBA -- in fact, from the moment of his birth to a poor single mother in the dismal ghetto of Akron, Ohio -- he was the Chosen One. Just relax and accept it. You'll feel better.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 1:56 AM
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Kobe never singlehandedly carried a team as far as Lebron has this year.

Neighbor please. If Lebron carries them to a ring then you'll have a point. For now all this demonstrates is that the eastern conference is so pathetic that a single man can carry a team.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 2:05 AM
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Kobe be OK but LeBron is nobler.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 2:21 AM
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Yeah, I had to go and look too, and I'm with GB and B. He's not ugly. Not gorgeous (to me) but I can't see anything wrong with him.

OT - I saw a show on Sunday (a Horrible Histories thing with the kids) and there was a guy in it playing a pharaoh, mostly naked, with a completely smooth chest. Then I looked in the programme and turns out he's Iranian. By the second half his chest stubble was visible.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 3:26 AM
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For ugly (which he isn't) to be an explanation, he'd have to be noticeably uglier than other superstars who were golden marketing boys. I don't know anything about basketball, but if the NYT article is even close, then the reason it's hard to market LeBron is that it's hard to market someone who is a teammate more than he is a superstar.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 6:55 AM
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Cala, duped by the MSM again.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:21 AM
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Persian shoe.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:24 AM
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As the great Omar Khayyam has written,

O, with such wet tears in my eyes
Do I prepare my bowl for commenter stew
The bees dance gaily about the flowers
But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:32 AM
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the reason it's hard to market LeBron is that it's hard to market someone who is a teammate more than he is a superstar.

In what sense of the word is Lebron not a superstar (or at least well on his way to getting there)?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:32 AM
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But how marketable will he be when Cleveland gets swept by the Spurs? Also, even though Kobe is almost certainly a sociopath, he's a much, much, much better scorer at this stage.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:34 AM
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LeBron isn't ugly, but he's got some ugly-ass shoes he'd like you to buy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:36 AM
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In the sense where I meant to type "self-glorifying" instead of "superstar." Any more and I'm going into football analogies, but you're easier to market if you're known for doing things that drawn attention to yourself. Better stats & photographs to get excited about.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:36 AM
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Of course Kobe's a better scorer at this stage. He's a hellava lot more experienced. The whole point with Lebron is that scoring's not his main game, and that "better scorer" doesn't necessarily mean "better player". How many assists and rebounds does Kobe rack up?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:42 AM
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Also, Kobe rapes people.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:43 AM
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The article is basically bunk: Lebron is a high-flying dunk machine. He also passes well, etc., but you don't need more than one or two dunks a game to be a "highlight reel" guy. There's absolutely nothing in LeBron's game keeping him from being marketable. He's just ugly.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:44 AM
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Ogged, what the hell are you talking about with all this "keeping him from being marketable" crap? James sells everything. He's a marketing machine. He's selling fruity-pebbles sneakers, ffs.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:50 AM
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He has a lot of endorsements, but people don't love him.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 7:53 AM
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Except for the ones that do.

Maybe it's just that there's a superstar glut. How many guys can be the face of the NBA at once?


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:00 AM
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54: People in Cleveland love him, and he hasn't yet won anything. And his jersey was the third best-selling in the league, and that was in January -- win or lose the finals, he's sure to rise past Wade and I bet even Kobe in the next update of the numbers. Let him win a few rings, and everyone in the world will love him. He's only 22. This is the worst argument you've ever made.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:01 AM
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Of course people in Cleveland love him. They're the one who invented the Cleveland Steamer, after all. And now we know that you're a big gay gay.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:14 AM
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That Jersey list is fascinating. Tim Duncan really is a boring dude.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:22 AM
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Of course Kobe's a better scorer at this stage. He's a hellava lot more experienced.

4 straight 50+ games and an 81 point game this season. And not against a bunch of guys 6-12'' shorter like Wilt did. At this stage he's the best scorer of all time.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:28 AM
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That Jersey list is fascinating

I'm surprised to see Marbury break the Top 10.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:31 AM
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59: Agreed. But what's the point?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:31 AM
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But what's the point?

Arguments of the "he's more experienced" type make it sound like Lebron will be doing the same with a few more seasons under his belt. Not likely.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:38 AM
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The NBA is fixed.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:40 AM
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I'm surprised to see Marbury break the Top 10.

Only because the list counts only online and NY store sales.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:51 AM
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Arguments of the "he's more experienced" type make it sound like Lebron will be doing the same with a few more seasons under his belt. Not likely.

Why not? Aren't his stats actually better than Kobe's were at 22?


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:52 AM
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LeBron is a good-looking young man who plays in a small-market city with teammates who are mediocre. Put Kobe on the Cavs in place of James and ogged would think Kobe wasn't such a cutie, either.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:01 AM
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All those Marbury shirts are bought ironically by Boston fans. We also buy 90% of all Steve Francis Jerseys and have them delivered to Spike Lee.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:28 AM
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Does Boston still have an NBA team?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:34 AM
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68: Sort of.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:40 AM
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I just saw some pictures of James, and he's attractive. What are you smoking, Ogged?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:43 AM
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Gawddamnit, women are useless when it comes to objectifying people. James is a fit, average-looking person. Nothing more.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:45 AM
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He's very fit, and he has an attractive smile, and a nice profile. Larry Bird was fit and hideous; Lebron James wouldn't have any trouble getting a date even if he weren't famous.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:46 AM
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I don't even know what to say to the people who don't think he's ugly. He might be appealing in a goofy-looking kid kind of way.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:49 AM
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What about Dennis Rodham? He wasn't any better-looking than LeBron. And he's still sorta my favorite player ever.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:53 AM
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What about this guy? He certainly looks ugly in motion, but not in these still photos. Possibly because they don't show the back of his head.

People used to say Ilgauskas was ugly, but that was mostly because of his beard, which made people confuse him with Vlade Divac. Now that he's clean-shaven he looks like a nie friendly chap.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:53 AM
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Ugly means unpleasant to look at. He's not a pretty-boy, but he's got an attractive face. Don't I get any credibility for being a straight woman, who should know whether a man's attractive (and I note Cala, also a straight woman, said the same thing upthread)? Where's Pants or Cerebrocrat when you need them for backup?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:54 AM
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Larry Bird didn't even look fit -- although he must have been in good shape, he spent his career draped in subcutaneous fat. Additionally, Lebron isn't ugly, he just isn't incredibly hot. And it goes without saying that ogged's a racist.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:55 AM
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Look, I'm just going to take anyone saying that he's good-looking as further evidence of liberal mushiness and lack of standards, not to mention the decline of civilization. And we're talking about "the face" of the NBA here, not Drew Gooden, or Ilgauskus or Rodman, or any other bit player. He's much worse-looking than Dwyane Wade, or Kobe, and not even in the same universe as Michael, who all the women wanted to sleep with, while all their husbands thought, "Yeah, I'd totally let Michael sleep with my wife."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:58 AM
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My claim isn't that he's handsome, but that he isn't less handsome than other NBA marketing darlings. Average-looking, and fit, which makes him better looking than most Americans.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:58 AM
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Dennis Rodman


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:58 AM
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B's such a fan that she almost spelled his name right.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:59 AM
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I don't even know what to say to the people who don't think he's ugly.

For comparison.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 9:59 AM
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I think Lebron James falls squarely into the category of "perfectly OK looking."

Larry Bird, indeed, is a funny-looking guy. Since Snarkout and I watched Get Carter just this week, I am reminded of the immortal line: "I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:00 AM
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The great Michael Caine version, or the much lesser Stallone?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:04 AM
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80, 81: If the NBA is counting on my fandom, they're fucked.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:05 AM
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You know ugly? Greg Oden. Brother be rough. On the other hand he gets it done so more power to him.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:13 AM
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We're in the CBA now.

Ogged, as much as it pains me to side with the forces of mushiness and social decay, I must confess that LeBron never struck me as particularly unattractive. Of course, he does appear frequently with Ilguaskas and Varejao and Donyell Marshall, so we have all sorts of framing problems.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:16 AM
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Don't any of our commenters work on Madison Avenue? I'm like, objectively right.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:19 AM
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You people are weird. That Greg Oden guy isn't ugly; he's totally got the craggy good looking thing going on. If Labs and Ogged weren't so damn gay, maybe they'd be able to appreciate men who look like men, rather than like teenage girls.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:20 AM
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This is not an "ugly" man.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:21 AM
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Craggy good looking? I'm starting to feel bad that you flirt with me, B.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:22 AM
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89: I'd buy ugly for Oden, but not in a way that's going to hold him back. I hate to keep dumping on Bird, but it's not just that Bird was uglier than someone like Oden, he was ugly different. Oden, while a harsh looking guy, isn't unpleasant to have in your field of view, while Bird you wanted to throw a tarp over so you wouldn't have to look at him.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:25 AM
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The ugliness of LeBron (and Oden, for god's sake) is pretty like the principle of non-contradiction: you have to assent to it before you can have an opinion about people's looks. You people are cracking me up. I smell a conspiracy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:26 AM
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I can't believe you monsters are disrespecting Larry Bird.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:26 AM
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is pretty like

I blame the matriarchy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:27 AM
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Oden's look could be appealing in the "weathered and tough" way if he were, say, 40, instead of being a college freshman.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:27 AM
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You know how you we know Brock is straight: he has no taste in men.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:27 AM
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Clearly, there's no black man that the good liberal women of Unfogged are willing to call ugly. Black Republicans don't count.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:28 AM
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Patrick Ewing was unfortunate looking.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:29 AM
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ogged's strategy: when soundly defeated, start a fight about race and or gender. One--- and a bonus! if the fight includes both.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:31 AM
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No discussion of ugly NBA players can be complete without mention of Tyrone Hill.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:32 AM
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You know how you we know

I am the eggman. I am the walrus.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:33 AM
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Cala, I'm so right about this that I'm just trying to make it as much fun for y'all as it is for me. Seriously, I think you're all out of your minds; you might as well be trying to convince me that the earth is flat.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:33 AM
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Forrest Whitaker's pretty odd too.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:36 AM
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That guy linked in 101? Ugly.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:39 AM
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105 - very true. I grimaced.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:40 AM
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Racists.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:40 AM
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Greg Oden looks like Moses must have looked.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:40 AM
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84: Michael Caine, definitely. I'm not going anywhere near the Stallone version.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:40 AM
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108: what, when he dunked on Pharoah?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:42 AM
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Has nobody mentioned Chris Kaman? You guys aren't even trying.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:43 AM
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Maybe the problem is that we just can't measure looks against some ill-defined theoretical standard. LB at least copped to the fact that Ewing is ugly. LeBron isn't hideous, he's just average looking. Jordan was really good looking, someone like Sean Elliot is attractive, LeBron doesn't offend us, Ewing is ugly, and Sam Cassell is some other category known only to Martians.

LeBron is, therefore, not the godsend Jordan was because he's not extremely good looking.

Comity!


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:44 AM
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That was plague number eleven. Rain of frogs, river of blood, cloud of darkness, dunked on Pharaoh. Then he lets his people go, so the moral of the Bible is to let the Wookiee win.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:45 AM
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Look, there are a lot of ugly guys in the NBA, but none who are being set up as the next icon, excep LeBron.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:45 AM
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Also, baa's from Boston, and can't be credible on issues of attractiveness. As I've said before, people who are otherwise (or otherwhere) attractive somehow magically become unattractive in Boston. Bizarre and unexplained, but there it is.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:46 AM
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113: cala, I'm finding it surprisingly hard to think of Exodus jokes in this context.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:47 AM
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But he's not ugly -- I'd say better than average, although admittedly not in Jordan's class, which was 'pretty enough to make a profession of his looks, even without the basketball'.

And 113 pwns.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:47 AM
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118

If you want to criticize black men for being ugly, look among the ranks of baseball players.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:48 AM
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119

Moses beat the Red Sea with his cross-over. There's a Michaelangelo statue of him somewhere in Europe that makes him look like he spent a great deal of time in the weight room.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:48 AM
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120

Kobe is a great scorer all right, just like Dominique Wilkins and Vince Carter. He's just as good a choice to build your team around too.

Men have many ways to be handsome. In Lebron's case, the nobility of his carriage and bearing (except when he's picking his nose), his warmth and magnanimity with teammates and fans (Aristotle named this as a characteristic of the great-souled man), his godlike body (250+ pounds and not an ounce of fat), and his divine status as the Chosen One make up for the size of his ears.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:50 AM
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Fucker keeps cheating, though. Other teams have to wait until a pause to get some Gatorade. Moses just strikes the floor and up gushes the water.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:50 AM
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122

118: Daryle Ward appears to be better looking than LeBron


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:52 AM
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123

Nope. Ward's the best looking of the guys linked in 118 (the rest of them, 'ugly' worked for me; for Ward, I wanted to soften it to 'not really attractive'). But he doesn't make it to actively attractive, while James does.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:57 AM
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he doesn't make it to actively attractive, while James does

Stop needling me, LB.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:58 AM
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Needle you? James, now there's someone I'd like to needle.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 10:59 AM
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126

125: LeBron or Shearer?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:00 AM
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127

So Liz, I noticed that for the last few days, in your Google search bar you've had the names of various professional athletes combined with various synonyms for "attractive". Let's rethink this idea of giving you access to the Internet from your desk.


Posted by: LizardBreath's boss | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:01 AM
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128

That Oden dude is a college freshman? Whoa.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:04 AM
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129

126: Ambiguity is a terrible thing.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:04 AM
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Damn, that guy in 101 really IS ugly, poor bastard.

As for 120, it should go without saying that "attractive" and "objectively pretty" are only partially overlapping sets. We've all met objectively homely people who became attractive once they started talking. And of course "doable" is something else again.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:05 AM
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123: I think the word for Ward is "goofy-lookin'."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:06 AM
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132

What do the people think about Eric Snow? He looks kind of weird, but also very friendly. Kind of like Pogo the Possum.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:17 AM
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I can't believe an ugly-in-the-NBA conversation has gone on this long without mention of Popeye Jones.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:41 AM
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Oden's look could be appealing in the "weathered and tough" way if he were, say, 40, instead of being a college freshman.

First you complain that I've insulted you, then you agree with me.

That said, I had no idea he was a college freshman. That does kinda create a problem.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:43 AM
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Okay, yes. Popeye Jones is not by any stretch of the imagination a good-looking man. Poor guy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:46 AM
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136

Mmm. His ears have that Shrek thing going on.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:47 AM
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I refuse to believe that nobody shares my opinion of Eric Snow.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:48 AM
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Greg Oden was born in 1988. His face apparently came pre-weathered for your viewing enjoyment.

B, I wasn't exactly agreeing with you; I was thinking that unattractive can be appealing.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:51 AM
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She we expect LeBron! to become a self-explaining blog comment? When?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:55 AM
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140

Should


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:56 AM
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I'm thinking that Greg Oden must have some pituitary problems---like that poor Iranian dude apo linked in 82.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:56 AM
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142

As proof of the idea that all standards of attractiveness are relative I offer the following anecdote: My Brother's GF, who doesn't watch basketball, recently saw Sam Cassell doing a studio show and commented, unprompted, on how attractive he was.

I could see it, he doesn't look as strange when he's not playing basketball.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:57 AM
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I was thinking that unattractive can be appealing.

Sure, if you yourself are approaching your forties and can't reasonably expect to do better.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 11:59 AM
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One more for the chorus of "Oden's a college freshman? Damn." I wonder if he's going to get craggier as he gets older, or just stay that way.

I also wonder if he spent the last couple of years getting sent to buy beer for all of his buddies, possibly with a fake ID showing that he was 38.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:04 PM
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From a recent SI:

The Top Three Reasons Greg Oden Isn't 19

If Greg Oden is still trying to look his "age," he's not doing a very good job. In his Sunday Conversation interview with ESPN's LZ Granderson, Oden didn't do anything to prove that he's 19 years old. Here are the top three reasons why it appears Oden was born closer to 1973 then 1988.

3) What 19-year-old wears turtlenecks? Oden was dressed in a cozy-looking brown turtleneck that no college-aged kid would be caught dead in.

2) During footage shown of his much younger playing days, Oden was shown wearing something to protect his eyes. But the style was eerily similar to goggles that a certain Kareem Abdul-Jabbar used to sport. There's just no way that a kid like Oden would wear those unless his idol happened to wear them. Greg must have asked his Mom to get the goggles for him, back when they were popular in Kareem's playing days. Seeing as how Kareem retired in 1989, Oden must be at least 30 years old.

1) "I've had a mustache ever since I can remember." Most college students can recall the approximate time they started growing facial hair, but for those individuals who have been growing it for over 30 years, there's a smaller chance that a specific time can be pinpointed. Therefore, Oden has to have a few decades under his belt.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:08 PM
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Also, he always wanted to be a dentist and watches CBS. The man has an old soul, and the face to match.


Posted by: SEK | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:10 PM
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142: Sam Cassell is a well-known space alien. You might want to make sure your brother's gf isn't as well.


Posted by: dsmint/ex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:24 PM
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Sam Cassell is a well-known space alien. You might want to make sure your brother's gf isn't as well.

I am aware of that fact, but I can't think of any way to check my brother's GF's alien status that wouldn't be akward for all involved.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 12:30 PM
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147: So true. And so is Nick Van Exel.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 2:09 PM
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I wil always remember Van Exel. Wow.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 2:14 PM
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Athletes don't need to be traditionally nice looking. Having a distinctive and expressive face is more important.

Take Dwyane Wade. He's cute, but he's just so dull. The only good commercials he's in are the ones where he's being ragged on by noted fat man Charles Barkley.


Posted by: Evan | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 2:36 PM
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The fact that they're young, fit, tall, multi-millionaires protects ugly athletes from the heartache suffered by us run-of-the-mill unattractive types. You can snark on them without feeling bad.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 3:21 PM
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Don Mossi.


Posted by: Stopped Clock | Link to this comment | 06- 6-07 8:44 PM
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I'm barely even aware of the existence of NBA, and even I know that LeBron's visage can be pretty frightening. He cleans up good for photoshoots, but he doesn't always look so pretty on the court.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 06- 7-07 8:54 PM
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I believe now is the proper time to tell all you Lebron boosters to suck it.

14 points?

BWAHAHAHAHA.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 06- 7-07 10:29 PM
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Just watched the post-game interview. LeBron: still horrendously ugly. It's the nose, mostly.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-07 10:31 PM
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