In consultation with doctors? I'm outraged. Straightforward buying her way out is one thing, but pretending that being too sick to be imprisoned is a method the little people can use to get out jail is quite another.
The decision was made as a result of a medical problem, but officials refused to give details of the condition.
Holy shit, she really is a tranny.
It's like a game of real-life Monopoly. First she owned all the hotels, and now she's raiding the Community Chest. What's next, her own custom house rules for the Luxury Tax?
He said she would not be allowed out for parties or social functions.
Oh you guyz!!! This is sooo unfare!!!1! I'm rilly sKared!!!
"A medical problem"? Isn't this the prison where 10% of inmates contract incurable staph infections?
I don't want to hijack the thread, I just want to borrow it long enough to say I have to design a t-shirt for Quality Month and my first thought was that it should just say, "I'm with Jackie Parker Paisley." Only I would know what it meant.
In all seriousness, this does make the justice system seem like a joke.
The only way this is permissible is if she contracted staph from a cut in her hand and they eventually have to amputate the arm with the elbow she always juts out in her signature "Paris Hilton pose" when she's getting her picture taken. Anything short of that, and I don't want to hear it.
Yes, I'm a horrible person.
7: Almost as funny a joke as Scooter's pardon is going to be.
Clients occasionally think that being pregnant will get them out of jail. hahahhahahahahaha Should have asked me first!!!
Now her great work in the tradition of Gramsci will go unrealized.
Bets on how long until she breaks house arrest?
7: Now, see, I would have said that going to jail for driving while one's license was suspended is what made the justice system seem like a joke.
Color me suspicious about whether or not all such violations result in jail time. We jail too much. A massive fine plus house arrest seems fine to me.
Bets on how long until the courts agree one of her Mexican servants can wear the ankle bracelet on her behalf while she goes out to just a few parties? For health reasons, of course.
"Now, see, I would have said that going to jail for driving while one's license was suspended is what made the justice system seem like a joke."
What is even more of a joke is that many people lose their license bc of fines or costs.
Then, they drive to go to work to make money to pay of the fines and costs, get caught and go to jail and get fined some more.
AP:
The star of "The Simple Life" reality TV show pleaded no contest to a reckless-driving charge in January and was sentenced to 36 months' probation. When she was later pulled over by the California Highway Patrol, Hilton was told that she was driving on a suspended license and signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive. She was then pulled over by sheriff's deputies on Feb. 27 and charged with violating probation.
The issue here isn't whether we jail too much, but whether someone who wasn't Paris Hilton would have been dealt with differently.
"Bets on how long until the courts agree one of her Mexican servants can wear the ankle bracelet on her behalf while she goes out to just a few parties? For health reasons, of course."
You dont have a problem with that, do you?!?!?
It is the free market system at work. Much like polution credits, people should be able to purchase jail credits. Drug dealers often utilize this free market approach by having underlings do the dangerous work.
Likewise, celebrities should have someone in their posse carry their guns and drugs.
I think there is at least some evidence of that heiress and porn stars are treated differently.
The thing that annoys me is how much this entire escapade seems constructed to generate as much publicity as possible.
Being shockingly sent to jail, and then being shockingly released after only three days, seems choreographed in Paris's favor.
Perhaps we can't make America into a just and humane society, but at least we can hope to put Paris Hilton in jail for 45 days. Tim is a Utopian; he needs to set his goals more realistically. Progress is only made incrementally.
Yeah, what 22 said: Let's send Paris to the humane society!
Unlike the normal person driving on a suspended license, Paris Hilton can't plead that she needed to drive to get to work. She had the money to hire a chauffeur, so the only explanation for her repeated violations of probation and court order has to be that she thought the law didn't apply to her. If I were a judge, I wouldn't be inclined to be especially lenient.
19: And the aristocracy should be allowed to pay for minor infractions, such as running over peasant children with their carriages, by tossing a handful of coins out the window.
Wouldn't it be funny (in an "these aren't real people, this is all entertainment" kind of way) if she kept on violating probation and so on until she ended up in jail for a genuinely long time?
25:
Or, in your case, throwing out fishing lessons.
21: no way. i loathe her with every fiber of my being, but her having served out her weak ass sentence quietly would have made me have a tiny bit more respect for her. this whole thing only makes me think even less of her. i think she comes off looking way more terrible and pathetic than before.
gah. i can't stand her.
I wonder if they had to let her out because she chipped her teeth on the bars of her jail cell. You know, the ones that were painted to look like penises.
it was a joke when I went on a killing spree and everybody laughed because I killed in clumsy, slapstick fashion.
I quite fancy her so I'm glad she's out of jail. Also if she managed to fool the parole board, she can't be as stupid as everyone says she is. In general I like it when Paris Hilton is in the news as it gives an excellent opportunity to check up how many people genuinely believe that it's misogynistic to use "slut" as an insult and how many are just being self-righteous for the fun of it. Good old Paris, that's what I say.
29: I agree with that. I gained more respect for Martha Stewart for serving time, even though I think it was bullshit that she's the lone investor who got sent to jail for insider trading.
With Paris, though, I just think she got splashed in the headlines in so many ways over this stupid thing that she'll smirk even harder now.
I'm gonna assume 32 is being sarcastic?
Perhaps she'll be the second person in the world to be cured of Alzheimer's?
Who came first with the smirk, Renee Zellweger or Paris? I've asked this before. No one seems to care about the big questions.
I know it's pretty cliche, but the idea of Martha Stewart redecorating her jail cell still tickles me. Or revolutionizing the jailhouse tattoo.
I don't think Renee Zellwegger smirks. I think she buttons her smile like she's keeping a secret. She's dying to say, "No, I musn't tell," but no one's prompting her.
Renee's been through some hard times recently. Apparently her husband lied when he said he wanted kids.
she can't be as stupid as everyone says she is
I suspect it has less to do with her intelligence than with an army of legal Furies acting on behalf of the Hilton family to persuade the LA sheriff's office that consequences would be dire if the slightest harm befell precious Paris.
A good friend who met her at a party has confirmed that she is as stupendously stupid as she seems.
Catherine gets it exactly right. This makes her look way pathetic.
Kenny Chesney's been through some hard times, too. He's very untalented. Plus he didn't want kids.
This makes her look way pathetic.
Still gets everyone talking about her.
34: there's no telling the difference with sociopaths.
I'd like to hear someone either tell us that calling Paris stupid is misogynistic, or that defending her is. I'm not picky.
No, I like Paris. I really don't see what harm she's ever done anyone commensurate with the amount of hatred people have for her - compare for example, Hillary Clinton. It just amazes me how people whose entire premise is that they can't stand her because of her undeserved media profile, base their opinion of her character and personality on the premise that every single media story about her is the literal truth. I'd also hazard the opinion that on the basis of the couple of episodes of her TV show I've seen, she's a rather good an subtle natural comedienne in the Kim Cattrall mode. I hope she finds the right acting roles.
I also greatly admire Ernest Saunders for weaselling his way out of a charge that was complete bullshit from start to finish.
I can't believe they're giving her house arrest after she repeatedly violated probation.
I bet it's about the food.
Kenny Chesney's been through some hard times, too. He's very untalented. Plus he didn't want kids.
Not to mention being born with a giant cowboy-hat-shaped growth on his head. He's just lucky that everyone thinks he's trying to be stylish or hide a bald spot these days.
calling Paris stupid is misogynistic
not specifically misogynistic, but surely at least a little bit uncritical in its approach to consumption of media stories. The way in which the master narrative of stupid slutty Paris has been put together is exactly the same toolkit that they used on boring dishonest Al Gore, you know?
I base my low opinion of Paris mainly on her videotaped use of the word "nigger" and on Tina Fey's testimony.
39: I think it's probably because Lee wants a BJ.
I really don't see what harm she's ever done anyone commensurate with the amount of hatred people have for her - compare for example, Hillary Clinton.
Is this an argument for hating Hillary Clinton more? Because I can think of quite a few things both of the Clintons have done to earn more hatred than they actually get.
One problem is that Paris's positive publicity and her negative publicity are of about equal intellectual heft and dignity. It's not like her great accomplishments are being obscured by malicious gossip. It's more like a live by the sword / die by the sword situation.
Also, I don't recall them photographing Gore getting out of a cab with his goodies hanging out, or remember any Gore sex tapes.
And finally, what's wrong with a little tastefully-applied misogyny? Do I now have to affirm and endorse every single ovaricious human on the face of he earth?
And in the link in 49, Ogged unwittingly reveals the last line of the last Harry Potter novel.
48: Can we have some links to the stories about Paris curing cancer, genital warts, or at least gluing sparkles on ponies to delight little kids with only a few days to live?
54: What, you mean you missed Paris's congressional testimony on global warming?
Is this an argument for hating Hillary Clinton more?
yes, absolutely. She's voted for some absolutely disgusting things and carried a small but significant amount of water for that bloody war.
54: No, but I can probably dig up some stories about her having given yeomanlike assistance to a few dozen jolly good teenage wanks, and that's a contribution too.
See, 56b is misogynistic. Everybody wins?
I'm willing to hate on Hillary quite a lot, though frankly since 9/11 I've come to understand that all of my political convictions are effectively null. I was militant and ultra-left until 1983 or so, but I'm on about the third precession of supporting the lesser evil by now.
I'm not quite where dsquared is, but I find the seeming fury behind the Hilton hatred strange. She's not a good person, but that shouldn't be enough to consign someone to jail. And I just don't believe that the fact that she's "Paris Hilton" didn't play some part in her sentence for parole violation.
The whole thing seems particularly weird because the matter happened to come up at the same time we're being exposed to the Libby letters.
misogynistic, moi? I bet you thought that Hannibal Lecter was misogynistic.
45:drauqsed is right. I am like, so fucking bored with Paris-bashing. Why don't y'all pick on somebody bigger that you, and someone everyone around thinks is the shit, or just pick on each other.
Paris is a cheap and easy target.
In all seriousness, this does make the justice system seem like a joke.
This is the last straw for you, camel?
Surprisingly, I think dsquared is right about the hatred -- she's a media construction of a fun person to hate. I do think a lot of it is based on her face: she looks like an annoying person. And it's all pretty harmless: she's got the money to disappear from the hatred if she wanted to. But not recognizing it as this year's Two Minutes Hate is silly.
31 is funny.
And the aristocracy should be allowed to pay for minor infractions, such as running over peasant children with their carriages, by tossing a handful of coins out the window.
I agree. Our justice system isn't moving fast enough toward the one depicted in The Charterhouse of Parma.
This thread feels like the strong and healthy members of a wolf pack attacking and killing the three legged-puppy. And enjoying it.
Sane & secure people pity Paris, or ignore her.
Notice I am practicing what I preach in 61. But this is what in the blogosphere is called a troll. One who disrupts the sadistic games of a local clique.
I don't know if the fact that she's "Paris Hilton" is why she got a tough sentence -- the LA courts are not typically in the business of picking on celebrities, and a brief sentence for reckless endangerment while on probation seems quite reasonable to me -- but it's undeniably true that the fact that she's "Paris Hilton" got her out of jail. And this is not reasonable, is not OK.
Being lenient towards celebrities is one thing, because the judge never says "If you were poor it'd be another thing, but since you're Tim Allen, you're free to go." Changing the rules for celebrities, in plain sight, is entirely another thing.
63: See, I actually don't think hating-on-Paris it's the media's doing. I think its a product of her relentless, intentional drive to be in the public eye, while simultaneously showing contempt for the public.
I don't harbor such intense dislike for her sister Nicky, (who doesn't seem to seek attention) or Britney (who seeks attention but isn't contemptuous of her fans).
Given that she's a symbol -- and now living proof -- of celebrity/aristocracy privilege in an eroding justice system, Paris hatred seems pretty rational to me. Hate on, haters! To the barricades!
I think its a product of her relentless, intentional drive to be in the public eye
but ... where does your evidence come from that she has such a drive?
while simultaneously showing contempt for the public
but ... what is your source of information here either? We don't have any sources of information about Paris Hilton other than the media. Therefore, it's a media creation.
She's much more fun than her UK equivalent, the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
67: It's not in plain sight:
The socialite was in a special unit reserved for high-profile inmates. No details of the medical problem could be given for "privacy reasons", he said, but insisted she had received no special treatment.
Also, I don't recall them photographing Gore getting out of a cab with his goodies hanging out
Because Gore goes with the lockbox.
Let me show you my lockbox. My Lockbox. Let me show you it.
59: I find the seeming fury behind the Hilton hatred strange.
It's just fury re-directed and displaced from "the system". It's not really fooling anyone.
Hatred of Paris Hilton is wildly disproportionate, but it's not purely irrational. She has more or less everything we've been conditioned to crave (money, fame, a shamelessly hedonistic lifestyle), but at the same time has done absolutely nothing, and displays absolutely no character traits, that would earn or make her worthy of the fantastic wealth she enjoys. She's a grotesque caricature of privilege and aristocracy. Since Americans still want to believe the comforting fiction that our society will reward virtue and hard work, Paris Hilton's continued existence is an unbearable insult.
That's silly, Bob. Paris is not a victim and never would have been even if she served her 23 days. She's highly privileged and could but and sell all of us. Call us envious, if you want.
She reminds me of the time when I was a member of a cultural organization which was having internal disputes. At one point the leaders of my faction -- MDs and lawyers and PhDs -- had a meeting with the board of directors -- people who could write $10,000 checks. It was like watching the peasants petitioning the Czar.
So anyway, Paris is someone who could write $10,000 checks to cultural groups, but I doubt that she does.
One of the founding premises of Unfogged is that frivolityin moderate amounts is OK, and malice too. Some disagree.
I think its a product of her relentless, intentional drive to be in the public eye, while simultaneously showing contempt for the public.
What does that mean? She wants to be in the public eye, and is willing to play the heel to do so--is it the willingness to take on that role (which may well match her personality) that shows the contempt?
her UK equivalent, the late Diana, Princess of Wales
So very apt. I don't get the hating or loving on [insert Hollywood celebrity here] either.
We don't have any sources of information about Paris Hilton other than the media. Therefore, it's a media creation.
Jeez! Most people could say the same thing about Iraq, and all of WW2, and most of the rest of our sense of the entire fucking universe.
I assume you're kidding about it not being in the public eye, or else you haven't looked at any news sites today. And by the way, Paris Hilton is international news.
D^2, do you have any idea how hard it is to get publicity of any kind? Portland OR is full of musicians and actors who would just die to get that kind of ink. My son's band spend many thousand dollars trying to get a small upward nudge in their name recognition. PR isn't accidental.
70, 78:
I just mean, she comes off as a horrible person on the Simple Life. She comes off as a horrible person on Tina Fey's comments. She comes off as a horrible person in tons of offhand comments she makes.
I don't think promoting the sex video makes her a horrible person, but it does show a drive to be in the public eye.
e the comforting fiction that our society will reward virtue and hard work
I'm not sure that the fiction is about what is rewarded. I think the fiction is that if you are wealthy you are a good and decent person--not so much that the virtuous succeed, but that only the virtuous succeed. (And that success and the characteristics that lead to it, rather than the fruits of success, is what matters to us.)
Holy shit, she really is a tranny.
My thoughts exactly. Actually, I really wish it was revealed that Paris was born a boy named "Ralph." That's the only thing that could make this story any better.
or just pick on each other.
Don't we do that enough already?
I am not defending Lady Di. Hatred all around, I say. I hate lots of non-ovaricious human units, too, but there are streaks when I prefer the ladies. Is that a crime? I even tried to promote hatred of Julia Louis-Dreyfus, but the response was tepid.
To add to 76: there are obviously much more deserving targets for muddled populist rage than Paris Hilton (Ken Lay, Lee Raymond, Bill Kristol, George fucking Bush) but the media presents us with Paris (or Britney or Anna Nicole or what have you) to raise up and tear down precisely because they're fluff, and because obsessing on/hating on them is relatively harmless. If we were scrutinizing the lives and decisions of people who actually matter, well, we might start asking more complex questions than "should she be wearing panties with that?"
86: Generally, I'm in favor of petty hatred. I don't think Hilton should be lionized. I just don't think she should get extra punishment--and, again, I'm not sure how you would clarify whether or not this is happening, or what the appropriate baseline measurement would be--that includes a jail sentence just because she's a harpy. Or at least not for a traffic violation.
It's not like I slack on my Kristol-hating duties.
As I understand, it's three violations.
I wonder somewhat whether her mother's vivid courtroom demeanor hurt Paris's chances.
Jeez! Most people could say the same thing about Iraq, and all of WW2, and most of the rest of our sense of the entire fucking universe.
well yes; what do we think of people who took a completely uncritical view of what they were told about the Iraq War? I mean really:
she comes off as a horrible person on the Simple Life.
which is a program constructed in an edit suite, in which half of what she does is scriptwritten and she is clearly palying a character (and doing so rather well; I honestly rate her comic timing)
She comes off as a horrible person on Tina Fey's comments.
on the Howard Stern show, in a context where she was being invited to slag off Paris Hilton, and in any case one in which it is clear between the lines that the SNL staff were not exactly acting all that nicely themselves.
She comes off as a horrible person in tons of offhand comments she makes
... assuming that all of these offhand comments are actual quotes, reported accurately in context and representative of the kind of thing she says.
face it; we don't know anything about her at all, except that she's blonde and pretty and quite entertaining. Hurray for that I say.
90: Yeah, fair point. I dunno. I'm not convinced that anyone with access to the money she has couldn't have swung a similar deal. And it's not clear to me that it's money distorts the system rather than lack of money that distorts system.
True, jailing Paris for a traffic violation is unequal punishment. If she were poor and black, she might just have been shot on the spot.
(and in any case, if we are going to form assessments of people's personality and character based on offhand comments, I know this blog full of people that you are absolutely going to hate)
Hilton was arrested and charged with driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of 0.08%, the minimum at which it is illegal to drive in California, in September 2006. Hilton's drivers license was subsequently suspended in November 2006, and in January 2007 she pled no contest to the alcohol-related reckless driving charge. Her punishment was a 36 month probation sentence and fines of about $1,500.
On February 27, 2007 Hilton was caught driving 70 MPH in a 35 MPH zone with a suspended license. She also did not have her headlights on while it was after dark. Prosecutors in the office of the Los Angeles City Attorney charged that those actions, along with the failure to enroll in a court-ordered alcohol education program constituted a violation of the terms of her probation. On May 4, 2007 Hilton was sentenced by Judge Michael T. Sauer to 45 days in jail for violating her probation...
77:"One of the founding premises of Unfogged is that frivolity in moderate amounts is OK, and malice too. Some disagree."
I certainly don't. I am also in the line-dance, kicking out the leg-opposite, and watching what gets taken seriously and what is unacceptable. Would I have everyone in the line do their own thing? On alternate weekdays, I am a fucking anarcho-syndicalist, remember.
Apparently, she got out by refusing to eat the food in jail. No matter what you think of Paris, that is ridiculous.
For some reason my mind just snapped to the hunger strikers in Gitmo. Surely they can find someone to administer a feeding tube if it's that dangerous.
Just thinking over my own circle of friends over the last 10 years, I can think of four people who did jail time on charges most would regard as bogus: 2x marijuana in some quantity, 1x child support (charges dropped, probablt paperwork error ), 1x domestic abuse (almost certainly not guilty).
Wear the bottoms of your trousers rolled, HG.
100: Which is a bad thing, right?
That's how I roll: trousers, weary.
91: What percentage of what we "know" of the modern world comes from direct experience? Almost none, it's almost all filtered through other people AKA the media. As far as the real truth about events beyond the trees are concerned we're no better off than some dirt-grubber in 2007 BC.
91: we don't know anything about her at all
Except that she's from a class of walking lightning rods for what passes for class consciousness in the USA. stras has it just right in 87.
Paris isn't alone in this, actually, she's just the leading edge of a wave of increasingly famous socialites; happens to be better at publicizing herself than, say, Tinsley Mortimer. Hard to pity any of them; bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first up against the wall when the Revolution comes (as someone or other wrote in a different context).
Like I said, if we can't end injustice, we can even it out at least. I was speaking to the idea that Paris has been treated unusually badly.
Her offenses are four: drunk driving, first driving suspended-violation, second driving-suspended violation, and 70 in a 35 zone. There's a perception that she's a scofflaw.
Two of her offenses are potentially life-threatening (my friends' offenses weren't). It's an issue in DUI cases that some drunks ignore their suspensions until they kill someone. Perhaps California has responded to that.
in my case I'd say it was about 30% media, 20% direct experience, 35% categorical logic and 15% direct revelation from god.
A carp scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
102: Is it your position that the way to end this sort of injustice is to ensure that no individual celebrity has to face the same sort of punishment? Do you think this is a good way to build support towards changing the laws? Do you think that this episode hasn't left the people who've paid attention to it with the feeling that the legal system is too lenient instead of too harsh or too inequitable?
107: Judging from the various comments I've heard in L.A. injustice will even itself out when Baca tries for re-election. He's gone.
107: I'm not sure I disagree with all of what you've said. I'm fine with hard punishment for DUI. If it's her fourth violation, and second "driving suspended" violaion, I"m fine with being punished in a way that includes jail time, I suppose. It's not clear to me that the change in her sentence happened because of her celebrity or because of undue pressure. It strikes me as strange to argue that there is something wrong with someone getting treated properly because other people can't afford to be treated properly.
OTOH, I'm not very consistent about this, so make of it what you will. If people want to stone her to death, I probably won't go along, but that's about the extent of my probably objection.
I think there is at least some evidence of that heiress and porn stars are treated differently.
Yeah. Porn stars get better reviews.
109 does sound pretty bad, even for jail food.
Carp just has to be fixed right. Carp is a staple of Chinese cuisine.
I actually have no strong, serious opinion about Paris, but I enjoy malice and frivolity at times. I'm not registering this thread on my socially-aware budget.
Al Sharpton says it pretty well: "Though I have nothing but empathy for Ms. Hilton whom I have met and appeared with on Saturday Night Live the night I hosted in 2003, this early release gives all of the appearances of economic and racial favoritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of color. There are any number of cases of people who handle being incarcerated badly and even have health conditions that are not released. I have served several sentences for civil rights and civil disobedience actions and I even fasted which caused health concerns to prison authorities who paid for a doctor to come see me daily rather than release me. This act smacks of the double standards that many of us raise..."
I'm with dsquared. She's certainly not an admirable person, but she doesn't deserve the level of hate she gets.
"I gained more respect for Martha Stewart for serving time, even though I think it was bullshit that she's the lone investor who got sent to jail for insider trading."
Just for the record, she didn't go to jail for insider trading; she was convicted of obstruction and false statements.
I'm with whoever believes that every time we hate on Paris, another angel gets its wings.
116 is making my head explode. The first is so violently untrue, while the second could have been uttered by my very self.
I don't get the "gaining respect for Martha Stewart" thing at all. She is--if media reports are to be believed--a horrible person who is at least an order of magnitude worse than Hilton.
59: Not weird at all. Bread and circuses. The Paris Hilton story is much easier, and safer, for the media to push. Or, what 87 said.
70: Did you see the ParisExposed videos? Plenty of good reasons to hate there.
100: One of my friends just got 75 days of work-release for accidental child abuse by playing bouncy with his daughter. The worst part is that he was doing it because she liked it (and because he loves her), she was completely uninjured and he only got "caught" because he made the mistake of mentioning it to her pediatrician.
120 gets it exactly wrong. Steamed carp with a little soy sauce, fresh ginger and spring onions is the food of the gods. Make sure you get the cheek and, if you're feeling adventurous, the eyeball.
Steamed carp with a little soy sauce, fresh ginger and spring onions is the food of the gods
The food of evil, heathen, anti-heebie gods.
We had a big war the other day, in the netherworlds. It was touch and go for awhile. But eventually I bested the carp-army, (the "carmy") and cooked their leader. But the ginger was old and powdered and the onions had sprouted, and the flame was too high and he stuck to the pan.
There's actually something very 19th century and dated about the Paris Hilton media coverage (or at least, 19th century as depicted in bad romance novels): did you hear about that heiress's scandalous ways? Tsk, tsk. How will Society respond at the next ball? Will they shun her?
126: "The url contained a malformed video id."
What a frightful error message. The poor url will be in therapy for years.
Awwwwww.
My Alter Video Id feels better already.
Rumors here:
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2007/06/paris_hilton_rash_herpes.php#more
"Paris was released due to a severe, "stress-induced" herpes outbreak. He also said that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention."
Pictures of Paris' blistered anus appearing on the Internet in 5, 4, 3...
Thank you, Populuxe, for pre-providing the baby duck antidote to the mental images conjured by 132.
Great Paris's blistered anus, I do believe we've a new exclamation!
33
"... even though I think it was bullshit that she's the lone investor who got sent to jail for insider trading. "
This will be news to Sam Waksal .
I hope she finds the right acting roles
I want somebody to direct a version of the Iliad set in modern America and featuring Paris Hilton as Paris. Maybe Lucy Liu could play Hector.
This will be news to Sam Waksal .
I didn't mean ever. I meant that particular day. In that particular courtroom. With that particular defendant. Sheesh, I hadn't finished talking yet.
137: Who plays Helen of Troy? Ben Stiller?
Great Paris's blistered anus, Heebie. Don't you use preview?
I swear on Great Paris's blistered anus, I thought everything was spelled correctly.
Heebie, you should read Monkey. There's a magical carp who escapes from Kuan Yin's koi pod and becomes a god/monster, stealing the turtle king's palace and forcing the local villagers sacrifice a boy and a girl to him every year, whom he then eats. He's a very bad, that is, typical, carp.
I like a story that puts carp in its place. Thanks for the tip!
Is it possible that I failed to mention Paris Hilton Autopsy here? Jesus, I'm off my game.
I am serious about the acting thing. I kind of see her in a sort of light-comedy role, basically playing herself with a couple of acidic lines as a foil to someone like Euan MacGregor. Kind of like a Doris Day figure but mucky. And now that I have come up with the idea of a mucky Doris Day, I will have to nip off for a while and resume this conversation a few minutes hence.
She did some acting in Veronica Mars, where she played the bitchiest high-school girl among bitchy high school girls. Totally convincing.
121
Personally I find Martha Stewart more sympathetic than Paris Hilton. Much of the animosity towards Stewart appears plainly sexist of the sort any powerful successful woman attracts.
"I like a story that puts carp in its place."
Why doesnt heebie like Charley???!??
Despite 10, I'm putting my money on pregnancy.
The hateful TMZ.com says it was mental, not a rash. I don't hate her, but I certainly enjoy seeing her getting taken down a few pegs, and I think this is fucking insulting to everybody else who is jailed in LA and can't afford a fancy psychiatrist to come find something wrong with them.
Yeah, that's disgusting if it's true. While I don't see any reason for the general hating (not that I know anything good about her, either), the idea that you can get let out of jail if you're really really upset about it, if you're rich and famous, is horrible.
But if she got really nervous then the stress might cause her herpes to get worse!!!
151: I read a biography of her a while ago, and, in accord with some of the other things about her I'd read, she came off, at a personal level, as a monster. That doesn't make her very different than many powerful and unscrupulous men; but, then, I'm not carrying water for those guys, either.
I think the Martha Stewart stuff really is sexist -- the supposedly abhorrent personal qualities are all things that would be tolerated and maybe even celebrated in a male CEO. She's cold, businesslike, berates her underlings, doesn't have time for her family. Wow, she'll never win Mother of the Year!
Seriously--unless I'm badly misremembering the biography--if you read the biography of her treatment of people and think that it's OK if men treat people, particularly family members and spouses, in that same way, you're a pretty bad guy. If you celebrate it, you're a really bad guy.
I'm really crushed. It's as if people I called friends had viciously attacked me because of my harmless birdwatching hobby. For decades I've been quietly hating on random, unscientifically chosen famous people. Suddenly it's wrong and I'm a bad person, and my whole life is as nothing.
Right, I'm back now. What was decided in my absence? A mucky Doris Day. I can heartily recommend it.
Beats me if Hilton is hate-worthy. I agree with Sharpton on this being another case where the rich get favored. Then again, the last two paragraphs of the Washington Post's article about her release show how people learn to hate Hilton.
If Hilton leaves/flees her home, her ankle bracelet should alert authorities, though it is common for offenders serving home incarceration to be allowed to leave their mansions for necessities such as medical appointments.
It could not be immediately determined if personalizing the bracelet with Swarovski crystals would interfere with its transmission capabilities.
I'd really been looking forward to the Paris media blackout (or at least, as close to one as we can ever get), but within 24 hours there will be a blown-up telephoto picture of her gazing out of her window, attempting to arrange her face into a semblance of winsomeness. It will be all over the Internets, and even if I manage to avoid it for the next several days, it will be spoiling my quality bathroom reading time within a week. Bah.
Paris had a publicist when she was fourteen. Don't tell me she's not going to milk this for all it's worth.
161: You have got to be fucking kidding. It's escaped the good sheriff's notice that a largish percentage of the less fortunate inhabitants of his Crossbars Hilton have a few mental health issues of their own?
A steady diet of hating only on important political figures, analytic philosophers, and The Eagles becomes monotonous. I think of Paris a tasty piece of fruit to complement off the meat and potatoes.
Oh, wait. Sexist. I think of Paris as a nice slab of carp to set off the unhealthful red meat.
I think of her as a slab of liver warmed up for 40 seconds in the microwave.
166: hating on the Eagles is always exciting. Don't oppress yourself.
Also, nobody hates Nicky Hilton, at least not anymore. Every time Paris' picture is in the picture, it's because she wants it there, more-or-less.
(I profoundly hope that none of you lot will get that joke)
I think everyone got it, Portnoy.
hahaha. Jesus christ my missus will kill me if she ever reads this. I feel like Andy Capp.
My son did a survey of his friends' most hated music groups, and the Eagles were on so many lists that he gave them a Lifetime Achievement Award and stopped counting them.
Okay, now I'm mad.
Compare 161 to this story.
Though, the contrast doesn't make me hate Paris Hilton so much as it makes me hate America.
One of my proudest moments growing up was when my mom got into a nationally publicized battle with Don Henley over [ REDACTED ], and won!
Ick. Disliking her in a "billionaire publicity-hound with no obvious redeeming features" kind of way is one thing, but this conversation is getting really creepy. Also, I just watched that Sarah Silverman thing, and likewise. No one deserves that.
it makes me hate America
Proof! Comment to be linked by Re/d/stat/e in 5, 4, 3....
But you're right, of course.
"[ REDACTED ]" s/b "Tweety's paternity"
Hating on The Eagles is creepy, LB?
171: I feel like Andy Capp.
If it's any consolation, I've always thought of you that way.
177: No one deserves that.
The crowd reaction, the initial joke, or both? If the former, I got the sense that Silverman might almost agree with you.
178: actually, I don't hate America, I just hate the way it's acting.
I think of Don Henley as a slab of liver.
I figured The Eagles must have something I wasn't getting, since I hated their music. Was it that the quality, which I thought elusive, was in front of me all the time, and might as well be called something like "suckitude?"
Both. Silverman made the joke because she knew the audience would think it was the funniest thing ever. "Look, she's a stupid slut, and she's right here in the room as we're laughing at her for it." I'll hate her all you like for being a useless rich person who doesn't ever seem to have done anything worthwhile -- hating her for being a stupid slut turns my stomach.
I don't hate America,
Actually, the Simon and Garfunkel song I really like.
Every time Paris' picture is in the [paper], it's because she wants it there, more-or-less.
I think this is what bugs me the most about her. It's like the whole damn planet is feeding a troll.
So really your objection is aimed at dsquared and Sarah Silverman. Beefo Meaty: on the side of the angels once again!
There wasn't really much of a joke to that joke, was there? It seemed to depend on the entire audience believing that Paris Hilton sleeps at home in a room that has penis-themed bars on the windows (padded, biteable penis-shaped bars) and I bet she doesn't. There's all the difference in the world between performing the occasional act of fellatio and living in a somewhat macabre, Hannibal Lecterish, world of disembodied penises.
185: I don't think there's much serious hating or any other emotion directly aimed at her. It's that the situation is close to being the perfect American (im)morality play for right now. It's got all the evil characters, it has wealth, power, and inequality, it's easy to understand, and people are more than a little pissed-off anyway.
I am always cautious in hating anyone for being a useless rich person who's never done anything worthwhile, because I am conscious of the fact that from the point of view of a little kid in Darfur, I might have a problem explaining why that description didn't fit me.
191: well, sure, but by hating on those richer and more useless than yourself, you can feel a small bit of solidarity with that kid in Darfur. Paris can't hate on anybody but Donald Trump and possibly Jesus.
188: I've got you beat, Tweety. LB's move has made my original positions into the Official Position of the Most Radical Feminists.
Uniquely, each of the components (Frey, Henley, and Walsh) was equally hateful on his own. The whole was about the same as the sum of the parts.
The fourth guy, Schmit, pales by comparison.
193: Personally, I think Paris Hilton was jailed on trumped up charges because the morality police couldn't stand to see a woman achieving sexual pleasure.
Pwned!
Paris can't hate on anybody but Donald Trump and possibly Jesus.
I could snap that useless little twit like a twig.
I'm sure that the Hilton / Davies comparison has occured to more than just that one kid and Darfur.
157
Do you think the biography gave a fair and balanced picture of her?
I like my position at present, because by pretending to like Paris Hilton, I can temporarily forget the fact that I actually hate the entire human race and sort of affect this Dalai-Lama-like[1] universalised benevolence, saying "why do you hate Paris? What is it that twists your soul with hate for Paris? What is missing in your heart that makes you hate Paris?" in the most wonderfully condescending and hypocritical way. By being all virtuous and Christ-like, I can torture all the earnest types like LB.
I'm currently drinking a can of caffeine-free Diet Coke, with an espresso coffee on the side, and eating some fudge. That doesn't make much sense either.
[1] don't get me started on that speccy little cunt (c) Christopher Hitchens
195: god, that's clever. I wish I'd thought of that.
185
"... hating her for being a stupid slut turns my stomach."
How about hating her for seeking out and glorying in the role of stupid slut?
Nope, still turns my stomach. I realize the argument from nausea is a weak one, but it's what I have to work with here.
Do you think the biography gave a fair and balanced picture of her?
It accorded with some other things I had read. I don't have access to more direct information, so, in the absence of obvious tells and b/c of the accord with prior reading, I took the author as relatively fair. It really is a story you could see being told about an awful lot of successful men.
good luck finding a definition of "stupid slut" on which the implicit argument in 202 works without repugnant consequences elsewhere (many of the problems will spring from consideration of the question "who is it who gets to decide what behaviour counts as seeking out the role of a stupid slut?")
To me the intersection of power, wealth, and fame is interesting. Why do people like Trump and Hilton want to be famous so bad, even at the cost of being the butt of jokes? Ordinary celebrities make their living at it somehow, or at least it's a side effect of the way they make their living (sports, films, TV or music). But for Trump and Hilton it's an apparent goal.
Is Trump's celebrity stuff a real moneymaker for him, comparable to real estate development? Does it contribute to his other projects in some way? I find that hard to believe.
SCMTim, you read a biography of Paris Hilton? How did that happen?
Thousands of mothers are in jail, separated from their children, but their pain (and the pain of their children) does not matter, not like Paris Hilton's pain matters.
Party at Paris's tonight! Holla!
If true, how fucking ungrateful.
207: Martha Stewart. I can't remember why, exactly.
185: Generally speaking, slut-shaming on Paris is too easy (about the only thing to be said in its favour is the readiness with which she attempts to do it to others), and Silverman's joke was lame on that front. But I was glad she had the grace to look a bit embarrassed at what it provoked, which was actually pretty weird.
209: Surprise: nil. May it lead to her getting thrown back in jail for drug possession.
If she does throw a party, I really hope the judge or sherriff or whoever has the only logical reaction: "Oh? So you're too fragile to be in jail but you're well enough to throw a party? I don't think so! Back to jail for you!"
210.---Ah, sorry, wasn't paying enough attention.
Don't blame the judge. It had nothing to do with him.
On the other hand, if the police come to break up the party? Oh, hell yeah.
Actually damn. Somebody could effect that pretty easy.
The judge has already expressed his opposition to changing her sentence.
Did I mention that this is highly international news?
I certainly feel united in a general molestation, and I'm not even fiscally in LA.
206. Trump is no longer developing- He is liscensing his name to other developers, and charging a fee. I think the fame went to his head when his first book was a best seller.
Hmm... does the South Park episode where she came to town for the opening of a new location of her chain of female clothing and accessories stores "Stupid Spoiled Whore" provoke the same reaction?
I was in Baja last weekend, and we passed the Trump Oceanview Condo Tower, or some such nonsense, currently under development. There's also a Trump Casino way the heck out in the desert on some dusty reservation that looks like something out of Reno circa 1972.
Not sure he's taking that much care with his brand, I must say.
219: Might if I saw it, but they spew venom pretty indiscriminately -- there's a point at which if you're horrible to everyone, it doesn't mean much anymore. And South Park is generally kind of funny.
Dude LB totally just called dsquared unfunny. Blogfight!
Compare 161 to this story.
Though, the contrast doesn't make me hate Paris Hilton so much as it makes me hate America.
Gaaaaah.
Oops, I keep forgetting tags don't span across line breaks here.
Trump is a lousy brand manager, but then again I think its a lousy brand. The guy had some balls in the 70s with his projects in NY, but he really had no downside risk on the projects since it was all bond financing, but he kept the upside. He bet big with other people's money and kept the winnings. He went broke on the casinos in Atlantic City, but by then he was a "brand", and he has been milking ever since.
Paris Hilton is really her mother's creation, much like Lindsay Lohan without the talent.
there's a point at which if you're horrible to everyone, it doesn't mean much anymore
I plan to have this as my epitaph.
much like Lindsay Lohan without the talent
Saying this doesn't make it true! Watch the first series (I think) of "Simple Life". Paris is a joy to watch.
Or listen to her album! Or watch her sex tape! She's a triple threat!
You elitists are trying to deprive d^2 of one of his few joys in life. ("A Simple Life", I mean, not liver.)
My view on Paris Hilton is that she certainly seems like a vicious, nasty wretch with far too much money and privilege. But what I really hate, or why I really hate "her," is what her existence says about America and humankind.
Or watch her sex tape! She's a triple threat!
Hmmm
Or listen to her album while watching her sex tape. Reputed to be a foolproof insomnia cure.
I gave Sausagely Paris Hilton perfume samples for his birthday. They really do smell awful.
Watch the first series (I think) of "Simple Life". Paris is a joy to watch.
Eh, it's dsquared's credibility. Why should I care if he squanders it.
Paris Hilton is really her mother's creation, much like Lindsay Lohan without the talent.
That sounds about right. Lohan is very good in Prairie Home Companion, although why she was cast remains unclear.
"[ REDACTED ]" s/b "anal herpies"
Confidential to P/eter L/ees: NSFW.
If she is so sick that she can't stay in jail, how come she will be just fine at home? Shouldn't she be in a hospital?
To all and sundry: Paris Hilton also played a grad student in an episode of the OC. I'm not sure that even qualifies as irony; maybe a strange new Moebius-like meta-irony that will one day power a thousand blogs.
209: I've heard of a wonderbra, but how stupidly rich do you have to be to hire a guy to hold up your boobs?
I will bet the first taker on this thread $10 that Paris Hilton is photographed violating her house arrest. We can settle up via PayPal.
I've heard of a wonderbra, but how stupidly rich do you have to be to hire a guy to hold up your boobs?
I'm guessing not very.
Anarch said, at 122, "Bread and circuses. The Paris Hilton story is much easier, and safer, for the media to push."
And much easier for Unfoggedom to latch onto as well, judging from the comparative comment count between this thread and the disappeared persons thread... Fun to blame the media, but in the end, they are just giving the people what we apparently want.
The prosecutor is asking the Judge to hold the Sheriff in contempt of court for putting Paris on home detention which the Judge precluded in his sentencing order.
Really, the reason I care is that we've now reached the point where Paris Hilton and the disgusting obsession with her celebrity has begun to have real-world consequences.
Given that Paris is headed back to court, my bet is off. Sorry, you all had your chance.
244: Yeah. Now the fuckin' sky is full of fuckin' news and paparazzi choppers looking for the bitch. I'm hoping for a mid-air collision.
Man, this could really turn into a pretty giant scandal, if the Sherriff was somehow colluding with Paris' lawyers to get her out.
243: Yes and no. A lot of us -- the whole blogosphere, not just the Unfoggedetariat -- are outraged out. A topic like that two years ago, we'd be screaming at the top of our voices; now, we're just kinda screamed out.
Not that I don't have the utmost respect for people who can still maintain their passion and focus against such abominations, like Katherine. But I've been soul-sickeningly angry with Bush and our government for six years now -- and soul-sickeningly angry with the media for nigh on sixteen, and soul-sickeningly angry with American Exceptionalism for close to twenty-six, all of which play into this sordid situation -- and I just don't have the strength any more.
DaveL: It's escaped the good sheriff's notice that a largish percentage of the less fortunate inhabitants of his Crossbars Hilton have a few mental health issues of their own?
Yeah, a few.
Last year, a record 43 inmates killed themselves in California prisons - nearly half in isolation units. California's rate of 25.5 deaths per 100,000 inmates is nearly double the nationwide prison suicide rate of 14 per 100,000, according to the federal Bureau of Justice Statistics.
Three years ago, nearly 70 percent of California's inmate suicides were in segregation units, triggering intervention by a federal judge and the new prevention efforts.
"It is incredibly overcrowded, understaffed and locked down, with inadequate mental health care," said attorney Jane Kahn, who represents inmates in a class-action lawsuit.
249: Oh, I get the outrage-fatigue, and I didn't mean that as necessarily a criticism. More an observation. At a few points in that thread, people made the point about how the incremental creep or abuses (or revelation of abuses) drained the shock right out of them. Or the energy to react. Such that it's become easier for us all to tune in to the Life and Times of Paris Hilton than to face a horrible reality that we are all, sadly, probably powerless to alter. Or feel powerless anyway.
243: In a very small way I can now influence how L.A. justice works for the rich and nauseating but can't do a thing more about GWB than I already did at the last election. Bitching about gravity won't stop it from sucking.
250.----Christ, that's awful. The most moving part about John Grisham's recent non-fiction book, An Innocent Man (about a guy sent to death row for a rape-murder he didn't commit), was the depiction of a how a mentally unstable person can simply disintegrate in prison conditions. So terrifying.
Have human rights organizations made an estimate of how often inmates in US prisons are subjected to conditions that should be considered torture?
254.---I'm fairly certain that Amnesty and MSF have issued very, very concerned reports about the conditions in American jails. One of my German colleagues had a daughter? a wife? who had spent a couple of months in the US doing research for one of these groups, but I don't know too much about what she find since as soon as he raised the topic, I became so dejected that he politely moved on.
My basic impression is that if you're seriously mentally ill and don't lots of money and/or fairly heroic family support, prison is pretty much where you end up. Maybe that's too bleak, but I don't think it's a whole lot too bleak.
Have human rights organizations made an estimate of how often inmates in US prisons are subjected to conditions that should be considered torture?
Probably. Human Rights Watch has a number of reports and op-eds here.
One of the best books I know on the subject is James Gilligan's Violence (probably mentioned it here before). He did amazing work reducing the suicide rate and improving mental health conditions in MA prisons. It's a glass-half-full thing: on the one hand, it's inspiring to see how much things can be improved; on the other, wrenching to see how often they aren't.
Paris Hilton also played a grad student in an episode of the OC.
A casting choice only matched by Tara Reid's role as an archaeologist and museum curator in Alone in the Dark.
My basic impression is that if you're seriously mentally ill and don't lots of money and/or fairly heroic family support, prison is pretty much where you end up. Maybe that's too bleak, but I don't think it's a whole lot too bleak.
That's pretty much right. Someone (one of the posters at the Volokh Conspiracy? Or I could be completely confused) had a series of posts talking about how the institutionalization rate -- prison plus mental hospitals -- was suprisingly steady over the decades. Policy changes move people back and forth between mental hospitals and prisons, but don't decrease the total number of people institutionalized.
the institutionalization rate -- prison plus mental hospitals -- was suprisingly steady over the decades
Huh, that's really interesting. If you can remember the link, I'd be obliged.
Well, looks like she may be going back to jail.
For sure I'm not above this. The media is above this still. I just counted seven very noisy choppers hovering over her little shack.
the institutionalization rate -- prison plus mental hospitals -- was suprisingly steady over the decades.
It was in the Harper's Index from April. I first saw it at Marginal Revolution.
It was someplace else, though, I remember graphs.
Here you go: I haven't reread them, so I'm not 100% sure they say what I remember.
260/261: that's certainly part of the story (prison populations increased by about as mental-institution populations decreased as a result of the deinstitutionalization movement), but not">http://npc.umich.edu/publications/u/working_paper07-10.pdf">not really all of it.
Something terrible happened in 267. I fear I am to be punished.
OK haters, now you've gone and made her cry. I hope you're happy.
http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/
Brock's link doesn't seem to square with the Harpers' claim. I don't have the energy to figure things out, though.
Here's the link.
Led out of court and off to jail screaming for her mom.
Sheesh. Al Gore was right.
