But can I put amniotic fluid on my pancakes?
The Screen Actors Guild is part of the state?
From what I understand, it's good that they have these kinds of rules or they'd be coating babies in peanut butter and honey and rubbing shellfish in their hair if it looked good on camera.
Why would they need to be part of the state, in order to make rules about working conditions in the industry? That is what unions do.
Dude, I was just trying to make a joke. Babies, nannies, etc.
Sigh.
Wasn't there a scandal when the producers of Goldfinger painted a baby to simulate the birth scene, and the baby suffocated?
3, 7: D'oh! missed the post's title.
Yet again we see the power of the currant lobby.
I truly loathe the currant administration.
2 -- the image to take away from this thread is one of Heebie putting amniotic fluid on her pancakes.
But can I put amniotic fluid on my pancakes?
I'm guessing you've never been in a room with amniotic fluid.
It don't smell like maple, is all I'm sayin'.
I'm guessing you've never been in a room with amniotic fluid.
Are you kidding? I lived in one for nine months.
Wouldn't actual birth-related fluids be most realistic? Those Hollywood types might have thought of that if they were more into recycling.
Wouldn't actual birth-related fluids be most realistic?
Depends on the shelflife. Perhaps they brown, like an avocado.
"Yeah, when we need to film amniotic fluid we go and get horse amniotic fluid. Human amniotic fluid doesn't look right on camera."
What happens, to amniotic fluid stored?
Does it brown,
like an avocado in the sun?
Or fester like a sore...
etc.
Perhaps they brown, like an avocado.
Or explode, like a raisin in the sun.
I assume that a lot of stuff comes off on the way out the birth canal; ours, delivered by c-section, looked as though they were smeared with oatmeal. And red stuff.
Were you in Portland, ME a couple weeks ago, Apo?
Considering where I've put K-Y jelly before, the thought that it provokes allergic reactions is unsettling.
"Studies show that K-Y in some women's rectums may make them allergic to a continued relationship. Results vary, however."
Considering where I've put K-Y jelly before, the thought that it provokes allergic reactions is unsettling.
Anderson lubed up a baby! Freaky-deaky!
Heebie owns this thread. Bow to heebie.
You have to lube up babies. Otherwise, they just tumble down the slide and all the other parents look at you funny.
"Studies show that K-Y in some women's rectums may make them allergic to a continued relationship."
No kidding.
Can someone please explain the attraction of anal sex? It's utterly ubiquitous in porn, and I don't get it. Am I the only person out there who is completely grossed out by the thought, let alone the act?
I hate it when the baby starts to dry and gets all gummy.
That's only because you've never had anal sex with me, ACM.
Can someone please explain the attraction of anal sex?
It's how good girls preserve their virginity.
Apo's anus is special. It goes to the Anal Special Olympics every year -- and wins!
Women don't have maidenheads in their butts? Damn.
No, but I'm sure someone can accomodate you if that's your thing.
Can I have somebody else's maidenhead put into my butt? Like, with science?
Women don't have maidenheads in their butts? Damn.
Go ahead and keep searching, John.
I have been told that sonogram gel has the best texture for fake blood.
Chilled, peeled grapes make excellent fake eye-balls. And I have a headband that makes it look like an arrow is passing through my head.
I've been told that almost all professional pictures of ice cream are actually of Crisco, which doesn't immediately start melting under lights. I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the claim.
Considering where I've put K-Y jelly before, the thought that it provokes allergic reactions is unsettling.
Oil-based and silicone-based lubes can sometimes cause skin irritation and allergic reactions, although any decent sex shop should stock water-based lubes, too.
Babies can legally only simulate sex scenes, so the point is moot.
This must be new. The Coen brothers said that there were few restrictions on the use of babies when they made "Raising Arizona". They had a room full of moms with a bunch of almost-identical babies in a pit, and whenever a baby was needed they grabbed whichever one was cleanest and happiest.
By contrast, filming a lizard jumping off a perch was hemmed in by regulations and required a hired observer from the SPCA.
Can I have somebody else's maidenhead put into my butt? Like, with science?
There are already procedures to reconstruct hymina, aren't there? Surely an enterprising plastic surgeon could put one in a butt.
Happy babies don't look like babies on film. You have to use unhappy fake babies.
All happy babies are more or less the same. Unhappy babies are unique in their own screamy way.
I would just like to note that raisins in the sun do not explode, neither in real life nor in poetry.
So, despite the fact that he is teh hero, apo's pwnage was just and meet.
They do when you're in luuuuvvvvv.
Love was never mentioned, and it's too late for apo to bring it up now, heebie. You know the rules.
Also, given my fondness for intact raisins, remind me never to woo you.
I've got just the meat for you to pwn, M/tch.
Goodbye Heebie G.
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to send your ass
While those around you stalled
They stalled out at the Mineshaft
And they whispered in your brain
They peppered you with comments
And they made you capitalize your name
And it seems to me you've lived your life
Like a raisin in the sun
Never knowing who to
When the rain set in
I hope you don't explode
Even when you're in luuuuuuuvvvvvvv;
The raisin dried up long before
The stains there on your glove...
First, that's hilarious.
Second, raisins like being exploded. They think it's fun. That's how they know you care.
But who cares what the raisins want?
raisins like being exploded
Some do, perhaps; many are just too timid to speak out when they feel pressured into exploding. I think we should ban all handling of raisins, at least in the teenage years.
However, raisins are good surrogates for nipples if you just have to tweak something.
It's been a long time since you've tweaked something, huh John?
62: See, you've never been in luuuuvvvvvvvv. If you gotta ask, you ain't never gonna know.
John Emerson is french-kissing a gingerbread lady with raisin nipples.
She's in between his mattress and his box spring, IYKWIM.
I've been instructed that nipple-tweaking is unromantic and sexist, even though for me nipple-tweaking is the ultimate expression of true luuuuuuuuuuuuuv. My life has been tragic.
She's got gumdrop bazongas and buttocks like hostess snowballs.
47: Here's the California Labor Code for babies in movies. The SAG rules are the SAG rules.
Wouldn't actual birth-related fluids be most realistic?
Dude, disease risk much?
B. still thinks childbirth is dirty because good Catholic girls are all virgin nuns.
No, I think it has more to do with crapping while you push.
76: They never show or mention that on TV and in the movies.
Good Catholic girls don't crap when they push. That's God speaking directly to the doctor.
Dude, disease risk much?
It's all about building up immunities, like when kitty backs into baby's face.
Was that the beginning of the end? (maritally and scatalogically!)
raisins in the sun do not explode
They do in Iraq.
Wouldn't that be more of a 'birth-related semi-solid'?
Can someone please explain the attraction of anal sex?
There is an utterly unacceptable sexist punchline to this question which is only available to subscribers to my newsletter.
Can someone please explain the attraction of anal sex?
I was going to try to respond to this, but all I end up wanting to say is that, if you're not into it, don't worry about why it's attractive to others, because if the concept grosses you out, the act will be lost on you, and furthermore attended by inconveniences which it is useless to explain.
"which it is useless to explain" s/b "which Beefo Meaty will now enumerate"
Anal sex is usually a big production. You have to stop everything because you can't remember where you put the lube.
A lot of things are a big production in the old folks home, marcus.
89: A simple reminder to help with that: you put it on the penis and the anus.
Apo hit that softball out of the park.
Feeling overly cheery this morning? Low on outrage? Here's something that will help that.
William Burroughs described it as "doing that which is inconvenient to [someone's] ass." (This is a deliberate mistranslation of inconvenant "unseemly".)
"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ass..." actually refers to something quite different, but the continuation "....nor his maidservant, nor his manservant" probably more or less covers what we're talking about.
Not to mention his maidservant's ass. Or his manservant's, for that matter.
I find it's helpful to think of anal sex like spinach. If you have it forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.
I think I am a counterexample to 96.
31: The only attempt I've heard to reason it out was by a straight guy who'd never gotten fucked in the ass and his theory was not terribly informed. I'd say what AWB said but she beat me to it. Suffice to say, if you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't. Even among gay men there are plenty who don't. From what I've read and been told, whereas internally gay men usually identify themselves now as tops and bottoms the social divide used to be ('50s and '60s here) between fuckers and suckers.
between fuckers and suckers.
So awesome. And what great constituent parts for a musical.
And with 98 I have successfully gayed up the baby thread. Ha!
99: Yes, the Suckers and their not-terribly-subtle crypto-faghag token woman wage a constant battle in song and dance against the more recently arrived, more aggressive, rival Fuckers even as their former leader falls for the brother of the leader of their bitter foes. Somewhere along the way there's a short number set in a bridal shop as a way to keep straight people from feeling excluded. At the end the cops bust up a huge orgy in a public restroom.
Some book I once read in college analyzing correspondence among Americans in the early 19th century, had a letter from a young man describing the possible outlets for sexual release as "fuck, suck, shuck [masturbate], or buck [homosexual anal sex]." Nicely pithy, I thought.
I think I am a counterexample to 96.
What kids were you forced on, and how do you know they enjoy you now?
I'll try!
Any, some, or all of these could be operating at one moment:
1) (only relevant for het men) often a tighter, more grasping space than a vagina. For gay men, a tighter, more grasping space than a mouth.
2) a little taboo
3) the feeling that no part of your lover's body is inadmissible to you
4) Intimacy arising from the trust necessary to perform an act whose potential to feel painful/invasive is so great. Relatedly, a mouth can open willfully and a vagina, depending on the person, sometimes moistens and dilates even in the absence of a lot of enthusiasm, but a lot of people are only in a position to receive anal sex if they feel comfortable and happy and relaxed. Ergo, your partner's ability to receive you without pain is an indication they're not just putting up with you
5) a pleasant association with the visual and tactile erotic stimulation of ass cheeks.
6) Finding assholes themselves attractive (maybe more likely when very clean and shaved).
7) your partner likes receiving it, and/or you get sympathetic pleasure from thinking about how it feels to you to have asshole stimulation.
8) you have some sexual interest in shit (not true for most anal sex givers, but for some). Somewhat less extreme, the idea of being inside entrails feels hot, like you're really deep in your partner. Related to (3).
9) it symbolizes violation or degradation to you (obviously not relevant to all people, but it's one reason to be into it). Even in happy, loving relationships, this can be hot, in the s/he wants me so bad s/he'll take cum on her face, take it in the ass, mm-hm, kind of way. A subcategory, really, of (3).
102 -- title, Guys and Guys
102: You can't end with a bust--downer, dude--but otherwise, that's right where my head was.
Those were all the reasons to be into giving, naturally, which is how I understood the question.
Re Nineteenth Century: Huckleberry Finn talks about sucking eggs a lot. Mark Twain was always under a lot of pressure to clean up his language and become sivilized.
Posted by: Margaret Thatcher
Maggie, we hardly knew ye ...
"Factoid of the day"
I realize no one will read this, but you're linking to a fact, not a factoid ("something which becomes accepted as fact, although it may not be true").
