Reconsidering what it means that my feature fell through the "news hole" this week.

You're really enjoying this whole "work from home" scam, aren't you.

Is this violating the sanctity of offblog communication?

When's the last time an important story was broken by an alternative weekly?

4: Actually, the Salt Lake Weekly did some of the better in-depth reporting on a polygamous community in southern Utah. That's a rather big deal here.

4 - What? This isn't important?

Gabriel is objectively pro–burning sensation.

4: this very week my good man!

Thanks Becks, I'll definitely do that!

When's the last time an important story was broken by an alternative weekly?

A former colleague of mine broke a story that the Pulitzer committee thought was important. (I won't link to the paper for personal reasons, but NJ deserved the award.)

So the next time you patronize your friendly neighborhood transsexual prostitute just remember that you're doing it...FOR AMERICA.

(Sotto voce: 'You axed for it')

America (My Country, 'Tits of Thee)
Text: Samuel F. Smith, 1808-1895
Music: Thesaurus Musicus
Butchery: yers truly

My country's gift to me,
products of industry, of tits I sing;
land where my penis died,
to free my female side,
from every mountainside, let freedom ring!

My native gender, thee,
May now like to date me, thy cock I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
thy dicks and hairy hills;
my heart with rapture thrills, like that above.

Let my curves swell your schlong,
and ring from all tight tees sweet freedom's song;
let mortal tongues awake;
let all that breathe partake;
let your rocks ejaculate, prolonged.

Our doctor's scalpel to me,
author of liberty, to thee I sing;
how our long nails gleam,
with freedom's holy light;
protect us by thy might, great flaming Queen.

Well. That was tasteless.

m, look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair

DO alt-weeklies actually rake muck anymore? People in other cities must be lucky! Here, the alt weeklies consist of pretty much nothing but escort ads. (Does the Voice have a single full-time writer left anymore aside from the increasingly wingnutty Nat Hentoff?)

You know, I really think that patronizing people--even, perhaps especially, transexual hookers--is a little impolite. Really, we should defer to them. And perhaps give them bouquets.

I support several transsexuals by taking their suicidal phone calls at all hours of the night and responding, "Hon, you've been through worse than this."

DO alt-weeklies actually rake muck anymore?

The 'alt' in alt-weekly has become largely meaningless, ime, except in that dailies generally don't run escort ads.

You know, I think we all need a White Bear in our lives.

"a" s/b "an A"

Don't get all Randian on us, CA.

I typed what I meant and I meant what I typed.

I simply don't believe that either a) gender reassignment surgery is so widespread or b) such a high proportion of transexuals work in the prostitution industry, and thus tentatively advance the theory that many of the prostitutes currently marketing themselves as "transexual" are simply cashing in on the latest trend. Much in the way that so many "Vietnamese" restaurants in London are actually run by Chinese families.

In the US, many Thai restaurants are actually Vietnamese.

Alternatively, Dsquared, they are moving up the value chain to specialise, as a response to the increased supply of cheap labour provided by globalisation.

Eddie Murphy is a true patriot.

A shout-out to my local alt-weekly, the N.C. Independent. It throws fewer bombs than it used to but it does rake some muck and provides some welcome commentary on local issues from a progressive angle.