"... set her upon the altar for the feast of my Lord and Master Bumblebee Man."
Wingnut lifeguard: objectively pro-bearbaiting.
"Abandon her on an anthill"
Isn't "throw her to the lesbians" nigh-canonical here?
"...sprinkle pistachios on her and encase her in phyllo."
Encased in phyllo
My love did glare at me.
Remembered smile, oh
Honey, come to me.
Baklava dreams
And rose water perfume sweet
Forget the screams,
Come on babe, let's eat.
"...mayonnaise, sprinkled with grapes and diced apple. I'd have killed for a Waldorf salad. Literally."
Any chance at all he was speaking metaphorically?
He could also have been using "honey" to refer to his other gf.
" . . . see what that does for the bee population."
But then I wonder why he didn't say "Cover her in Suzie" or whoever.
Anyway, honey? I could see some delicious olive oil, maybe, but honey seems awfully messy.
16 gets it. Although even better for these purposes than olive oil is cod liver oil. Assuming we're talking about the same purposes. IYKWIMAIKYD.
I've never had any, but I thought the distinguishing characteristic of cod liver oil was that it tasted foul.
Plus, lots of B vitamins.
Hm, I spoke too soon. Wikipaedia sez, vitamins A and D are the big draw, plus Omega-3 fatty acids.
But yeah, I only know it as something that the children of old fictions (like Tom Sawyer, maybe?) were forced by their mothers or guardians to drink foul spoonfuls of. But I remember it being mentioned in a positive light at some point during my chef training program at Natural Gourmet.
My mother was cod-liver-oiled as a child -- I think it was just a pre-vitamin tablets way of supplementing one's diet.
And LB, I actually like the taste, but I'm sort of bizarre in that way But I get the impression that you're trying to interject some sensible meaning into my comment, which is surely futile. It had no deep meaning. I'm mostly just here trying to help fill up cyberspace, one meaningless comment at a time.
So, back to the honey. A camping trip? She'd be all covered in dirt and pine needles and lichen and everything. It makes no sense, I tells ya.
Obviously, it was a comparative experiment in flycatching. Next week, vinegar!
pre-vitamin tablets way of supplementing one's diet
This would speak to its being mentioned in a positive context at the Natural Gourmet, where the dominant paradigm was a sort of incoherent Luddism.
4 wins. No wait, 10 wins. Fuck it, everybody wins.
The "cover her in honey" thing is one of those ideas that sounds terribly romantic and titillating until you actually try it IRL. Same thing with chocolate syrup.
Very few edible fluids taste all that good in combination with sweat.
The third sentence of 31 should contain the acronym, DAMHIKT.
I know that smirk so well. It's the one that makes me think, "STOP DOING THAT DURING THE COLLOQUIUM, ASSHOLE. YOU AREN'T FOOLING ME."
I'm reminded of The Parent Trap.
(The superior Hayley Mills version, not the "before she became a coke head" Lindsay Lohan version.)
As a kid I was given a tablespoon of cod liver oil in the mornings before going to school. Made me the strong, intelligent, smelling slightly of fish man I am today.
My mother gave me regular spoonfuls of cod-liver oil - probably something she inherited from her mother. I quite liked it, but then I had weird tastes as a child. I never knew liver was supposed to be disgusting either.
No matter how frequently I am reminded of Gonerill's masculinity I continue to identify him as a woman when I read his comments.
(Perhaps I will change the pattern identified in 38 through the mere identification thereof.)
The sentence was "I just wanted to cover her in honey and feed her to the bears."
I may be competitive, but I'm the least competitive of anyone here.
I'm beginning to think he's not in this for the camping.
The easy answer to the smile word question is "snirk," a smirk about snark, but the fact that this seemed so obvious makes it a bad answer.
The "cover her in honey" thing is one of those ideas that sounds terribly romantic and titillating until you actually try it IRL.
"until you actually try it IRL" s/b "unless you have ever encountered honey IRL".
Back when I was 19 and still thought things like honey-sex might be cool, I remember encountering Kama Sutra's honey dust and thinking it solved the problem of sticky awfulness very well. It's also not too sweet and a little spicy.
I did read this thread, I swear. Stupidity-pwned!
"until you actually try it IRL" s/b "unless you have ever encountered honey IRL" or alternatively, "if you're really stoned and horny." At least, so I've heard.
"I just wanted to cover her in honey and feed her to the bears."
Bad times. About a week ago an 11 year old boy got dragged out of his tent and killed by a black bear up the same canyon where I take my girls flyfishing.
Was Basil Valentine a US President? Around the Fillmore period maybe? I don't remember him.
The kid was presumably ridiculing a blad-headed old preacher.
59: "Go away, bladhead, go away bladhead" is what they said unto him.
Cod liver oil is fine. You can buy it in softgels too so that you don't have to taste it. I prefer fish oil made from anchovies and sardines, because the balance of fats is better.
Cod liver was nasty, because it was rancid. They now put antioxidants in it--mainly vitamin E, but sometimes rosemary extract--to protect it and advise refrigeration of opened bottles. You can also buy lemon, orange and peach-flavored cod liver oil.
The cod liver suppository is nutritious and versatile.
I probably don't want to know, but what else can you do with a suppository?
The bear was still about 10 kids short for the day.
I knew you were old, Emerson, but I didn't know you were that old.
I've forgotten you, Basil. Did you build the Erie Canal or something? Double the herring tariff? Commission a fleet of frigates? You're a pretty obscure President.
But you must have been a mere child in the 1840s. Of course you don't remember the details.
64: Anti-nausea medication; fast and effective. Kinda embarrassing to ask your dad to go pick up the scrip, though.
Organic lubricant producing relatively healthful Santorum.
"We congratulate you on your decision to quit smoking with Nicolaxx, Nicotine Anal Suppositories."
Weak Discouraged Men! Now Bubble Over with Joyous Vitality Through the Use of Glands and Radium."
There's also the option of using suppositories to show the power of addiction (while riffing on Pynchon) . . .
we need a name for the goofy self-satisfied smile people have on their face when they're typing something that amuses them
Shit-eating grin. Or seg, if you prefer.