Re: The State Of The Male Stripper

1

I was surprised to see Becks as the author of this post.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 8:50 AM
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2

It does have a certain Labsosity about it, doesn't it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 8:52 AM
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3

Penis antlers?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 8:57 AM
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4

^ I can has?


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 8:57 AM
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5

God I love Vegas.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 8:59 AM
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6

M/tch feigns innocence.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:03 AM
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7

Not a single pic from this trip in the Flickr group. Come on.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:11 AM
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8

2 - I can think of two authors here whose names I'd expect to see on this before Becks'. You are not one of them.


Posted by: mike d | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:18 AM
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9

7 - Working on it!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:21 AM
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10

The last time I was there our various travels involved walking past the place on the Strip, whatever it's called, and some of the performers were out on the street trying to drum up interest. My immediate first thought was, Queens! All of them! I'm so glad I wasn't wrong. Sort of.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:22 AM
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11

Penis antlers?

I know what these are, but my very brief search didn't turn up an image. It did, however, lead me to this picture.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:34 AM
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12

11 -- I thought that guy was Japanese.


Posted by: Clownaesthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:40 AM
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13

11 - Picture these or these or these, only in the shape of penises.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:49 AM
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14

Or this. Or this. Or this. Or.

[NSFW]


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:53 AM
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15

This stuff is just so terrible.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 9:57 AM
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16

Those links are so fucking weird in how they smush together "penises" and "toys for little girls."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:00 AM
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17

Thanks, Becks. You have enlarged my sense of life's possibilities. Especially the drinking straws. I would not have thought of the drinking straws.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:08 AM
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18

Okay, the dick-through-the-head is officially disturbing.


Posted by: m. leblanc | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:31 AM
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19

There is something weird going on that I don't quite get with the male-stripper thing. (I haven't been to any male-strippers-for-women shows, ever, though in my dragged-to-gay-bars days, I saw a lot of male-strippers-for-gay-dudes shows.) Remember that cheesecakey video of the cowboy ice skaters? That was "for the women out there"? And a bunch of dudes doing the YMCA is for the women?

As far as I can tell, the difference between male stripping for gay dudes and male stripping for women is strippers for women come in large groups, whereas strippers for men tend to be solos, and strippers for women are more likely to be openly gay, coy, and playful, while strippers for men are trying to act straight and get right to the part where they swing their cocks around.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:36 AM
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20

Overgeneralization corner, please take with a lot of salt:

I maintain that gay men and straight men are more similar in what they desire than gay men and women are.

Likewise, gay women and straight women are more similar than gay women and men are.

In other words, just because a gay person and a straight person are attracted to the same plumbing doesn't mean that they're attracted to the same thing.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:40 AM
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21

the dick-through-the-head is officially disturbing

She gives great head.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:43 AM
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22

Becks, you left out the most important part: where, exactly, can one go to see a Tribute to American Heroes switch to YMCA?

I need to know this for, um, research purposes.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:54 AM
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Those links are so fucking weird in how they smush together "penises" and "toys for little girls."

Would it be terrible to say that concept is sort of hot?

I think the whole concept of strippers is more comical and entertaining than rawly sexual to women anyway, hence they are fine with camp. I mean, a lot of male viewers *really do* want to sleep with the stripper, while I think women view it as an entertaining lark.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:57 AM
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24

Also, strippers for gay men are not chosen for their faces.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 10:59 AM
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25

22 - Las Vegas: two shows a night, seven days a week.

This is the boyfriend. We were told to drop our friend's name "for a peek". (To answer your inevitable question, he didn't work our side of the room.)


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:01 AM
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26

A friend of mine did a couple years of stripping, mostly for bachelorette parties, and he really seemed to enjoy trying to get all the ladies turned on, didn't understand the unerotic campiness of it. He was very handsome, and had a whole routine, but wasn't very successful in the end.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:01 AM
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27

If stories I have heard from an ex-g/friend about some hen-night type events are to be believed, it's not always about unerotic campness.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:05 AM
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28

Would it be terrible to say that concept is sort of hot?

Kinda a little. Unless you're very careful about your context.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:06 AM
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29

Oh, and I forgot - the most amusing part of the whole thing was a contest they ran during a "please go buy more overpriced drinks" break where they brought three girls on stage to see who could do the best fake orgasm. The second girl (a bride-to-be wearing a veil and with a penis straw) made the most disturbing noises I've ever heard. There were crickets afterwards, the audience was so stunned. The host recoiled with a look of horror. I don't know which is a more amusing thought -- that it was a "bag of sand" moment or if she actually does sound like that. If so, god help her future husband.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:10 AM
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30

26: maybe he would have done better in the front?


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:10 AM
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31

25: the sound you hear is me weeping out of shame and inadequacy. [cue ogged: "and repressed desire!" me: "put your gag back in!"]


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:11 AM
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32

29: becks, could you, like, describe these noises?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:15 AM
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33

Anyone tempted to click the first link in 25 might appreciate being warned that it launches a sound file that you probably don't want your boss to overhear.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:18 AM
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34

made the most disturbing noises I've ever heard

Choop-choop-choop-choop-choop-choop-choop, NONNY!


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:19 AM
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35

I guess I always took the propositions in 20 to be self-evident. Are they controversial?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:19 AM
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36

32 - So hard to describe. Maybe like a crow cawing crossed with a dog barking while being strangled underwater?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:23 AM
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37

30: Eh, I think some people are too comfortable with their sexuality and imagine everyone else is too. The skill of a great stripper is being able to recognize that while you're basically a sex worker and do this stuff every day, your clients, especially if they're women, are not. Negotiating that boundary seems hard.

I remember when my friend got really happy at a party, he'd grab someone, throw him/her over his shoulder (very strong dude), and carry them off to a bed, where he'd kiss them and walk out smiling. It wasn't malevolent, and was surprisingly hot, but it freaked quite a few observers out. You have to follow a script of "what is hot" as a stripper-for-ladies, and I think surprise, though hot to an individual, isn't the kind of hot bachelorette parties are looking for.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:24 AM
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38

35: I always feel extremely nervous making blanket statements about any group that I'm not a member of. (and whose respect I desire. So I'll generalize about Republicans but not gay people or fat people or minorities.) So, meek qualifiers.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:24 AM
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39

I remember when my friend got really happy at a party, he'd grab someone, throw him/her over his shoulder (very strong dude), and carry them off to a bed, where he'd kiss them and walk out smiling. It wasn't malevolent, and was surprisingly hot, but it freaked quite a few observers out.

This would freak me out.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:27 AM
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40

Me too. That's distinctly creepy, it seems to me.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:28 AM
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41

But, I should not, no one would describe me as too comfortable with my sexuality, so mileage may vary.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:29 AM
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42

Aw, he was sweet. We already had a making-out relationship when he did it the first time, so it was pretty charming, and I felt only the comic analog of fear.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:30 AM
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43

well, sure, if it's always you, AWB, but you made it sound like some random party-goer was being physically coerced.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:33 AM
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44

Maybe like a crow cawing crossed with a dog barking while being strangled underwater

sounds like you owe me a drunken voicemail.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:34 AM
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45

43: He only did it to close friends, but other random partygoers observing were disturbed. This is what I mean--things that might be comfortable and sexy to two people are often uncomfortable for observers. When I see couples getting all erotic with each other in museums, I get annoyed. It would be hard to figure out how to do sexy things such that they are hot to observers, and then they wouldn't really be hot to you. This is why I suspect good porn actors aren't really getting that much out of it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:38 AM
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46

45 made about ten leaps of non-comparability and started a whole new argument.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:41 AM
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47

It would be hard to figure out how to do sexy things such that they are hot to observers, and then they wouldn't really be hot to you. This is why I suspect good porn actors aren't really getting that much out of it.

Unless you get your kicks out of turning observers on. I think there's a "VALIDATE ME! VALIDATE ME!" personality (that I kinda recognize in myself) who can stray down that path.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:42 AM
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48

And yet the ass shots have yet to appear on the front page.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:43 AM
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49

I have a friend who made a very abrupt transition between dancer and bartender at the club where he worked but I now can't recall whether he was told to get down off the bar and serve drinks or whether he was told to drop his pants and get up on the bar to dance. Natch.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:44 AM
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I suspect that we all have "VALIDATE ME!" instincts w/r/t sex, but with different objects. I require the validation of my partner being violently aroused to get my kicks, but I feel extremely squicky about trying to turn on strangers, who I imagine are just annoyed. (I guess there are people in the world who get mostly turned on by feeling personally aroused, and God bless 'em.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:47 AM
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51

And yet the ass shots have yet to appear on the front page.

Then everyone would stop paying attention to me.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 11:52 AM
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52

I don't care if it's sexist, I'm going to say that this post proves that women are better than men.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:31 PM
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53

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
BAIT ALERT BAIT ALERT DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:37 PM
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54

52: Care to flesh that out a little bit?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:38 PM
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55

OH IDP YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:39 PM
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56

My brother who used to know nude dancers said that narcissism was a big motive for many of them. They liked attention and they liked teasing men.

Mostly it was the money though. It was easier and far better-paid than waitressing or secretarial work, both of which can also be extremely unpleasant and somewhat degrading.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:49 PM
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57

I think I'll just let the statement sit, out of respect for OG.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:53 PM
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58

If you want to maximize your degradation and minimize your tips, you could strip while wearing the penis-arrow headband.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:54 PM
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58: technically that would increase the number of tips by one.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 12:55 PM
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60

True, true!

Somehow, the image that lodged in my head as horribly, horribly degrading was a Playboy cover from probably five years ago. It was the November issue, and this girl was dressed up like a turkey: naked on her back, on a silver platter. Her legs were bent so that her knees were together under her chin. Little sprigs of parsley, and those white turkey-footie hats on her hands, (the most humiliating detail). Photographed from above, so that she was staring straight into the camera.

That made me feel humiliated just to look at it. It's not like it was hardcore porn or anything, but it was so dehumanizing for the sake of a joke.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:06 PM
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61

What's true, true, Heebie?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:11 PM
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That if you wear a penis on your head, you've increased the number of tips by one.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:13 PM
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63

Oh yeah, and she had an apple in her mouth. (Of course.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:13 PM
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64

Heebie, thanks *so much* for sharing the memory of that image with us all. Yuck.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:17 PM
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65

I'm practically Queen Elizabeth with my uncanny knack for decorum over here.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:28 PM
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Gawddamnit. Now I want a turkey sandwich. With gravy, for some reason, which is weird, as I don't like gravy that much, really.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 1:59 PM
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67

I heard you like gravy just fine, Tim.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:01 PM
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68

Well, your gravy, sure.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:09 PM
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69

If you want wholesome, healthy, vitamin-rich decorum, google "cucumber sex" images.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:16 PM
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70

Heebie, I see no such Playboy cover.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:21 PM
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71

Are you going to go claiming that images and stories like that need to be true?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:26 PM
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72

I'm guessing it was Penthouse. That sounds much more like a Penthouse thing to do.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:28 PM
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73

Not as far as I can see. Maybe Hustler. Maybe some other niche mag. Maybe Heebie's fevered imagination!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:33 PM
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74

Not Hustler either.

Heebie-Geebie is banned!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:35 PM
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75

No, if it were Hustler, there'd have been stuffing.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:36 PM
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76

I'm sure Heebie was actually thinking of one of these, particularly Butt.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:40 PM
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77

Yeah, I was actually thinking Hustler. Like the meat-grinder thing.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:41 PM
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78

I love that Ogged read Heebie's description and thought, "hawt! Must find cover!"


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:41 PM
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79

How did a thread about gay strippers turn into something about symbolically stuffed she-turkeys? You people's breeder hegemony knows no limits.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:42 PM
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80

It's because women are better than men at nitpicking, RMcMP.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:47 PM
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81

It's just the awkward transition from sex thread to food thread, McManlyPants.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:47 PM
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82

Eventually someone will use the phrase "eat me" and it'll all come full circle.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:49 PM
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83

Surely we can all agree on deliciousness.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 2:54 PM
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84

79 - I know. I'm disappointed, too. I'm just going to assume that everyone is boycotting this thread because they're so jealous of my awesome vacation.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:03 PM
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85

Wasn't there a lot of gay stripping at UnfoggeDCon?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:04 PM
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86

We're obsessively refreshing the goddamn Flickr group.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:05 PM
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85 - Actually, there was one point during the act when there were a bunch of the guys on stage shirtless and I laughed to myself and thought "Just like UnfoggeDCon!"


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:07 PM
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88

"But hotter less hot!"


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:08 PM
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89

where is photos?


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:11 PM
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90

89 - I'm having laptop problems. You really don't want to hear them. (Just ask poor 'Smasher.) Once those are sorted out, photos will be uploaded.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:14 PM
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91

Such a tease.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:17 PM
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92

Who do I mail to get in on the photo group action again?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:17 PM
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93

92 - I think Ogged or Armsmasher.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:19 PM
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80 - That's because on the veldt, paleoguy was out spearing a mastodon while paleochick was tediously critiquing paleoguy's behavior. I read it in David Brooks.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 3:30 PM
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95

It was real. I swear it was. Circa 2000-2001.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:11 PM
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96

I'm sure it was real, but it wasn't Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:20 PM
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97

Memory's a weird thing -- it may have been an interior page that your mind moved to the cover. Unless, I suppose, you saw this on a newsstand, in which case you wouldn't have seen the inside.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:20 PM
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98

Heebie's expert testimony on pornography questions is always reliable. Don't doubt Doctor Heebie.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:21 PM
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99

Lizardbreath's recent distasteful job duties have included defending Scooter Libby.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:21 PM
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100

At the same time, Ogged's porn research skills are formidable. This puts the rest of us in a real quandary.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:23 PM
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101

Emerson has been cowed ever since I found his family reunion pics.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:23 PM
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102

Maybe it was a form of projection which came to her in a dream.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:23 PM
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103

I'm sorry I sullied the names of those fine publications.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:24 PM
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104

Also this picture is hilarious.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:26 PM
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105

Except for one niece and a few years during one brother's youth, my family is totally G-rated.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:27 PM
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106

104 is brilliant.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:29 PM
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107

Maybe it was a form of projection which came to her in a dream.

Ew!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 4:39 PM
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60: Thinking of this, Heebie?

(NSFW)

http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0550,gates,70911,24.html/full

It's what I thought of when I read your comment, anyway--a Village Voice sex-column piece from a few weeks after Thanksgiving, 2005 about suburban "cannibalism" fetishists.


Posted by: DrLivingstoneIPresume | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 5:54 PM
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109

I saw an academic talk whose thesis was precisely the claim made in (20). The speaker (who was incredibly buff) framed the argument as a reply to both popular stereotypes of gays as feminized men and to sloppy academic work that perpetuated the same images.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07- 3-07 6:18 PM
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