Re: Sketch

1

I'm shocked that that guy doesn't know the difference between boat shoes and loafers. No wonder people are talking.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:17 PM
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The author is the daughter of a friend of mine crazier than me. I talked to her once a few years ago and was very impressed. She did journalism in Portland for awhile, though Jesus hasn't met her.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:35 PM
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I'm disturbed by how much Late Night Shots sounds like Unfogged. I suspect this is less because of what it says about us, though, than because of what it might say about LNS, who I would like to keep hating without the suspicion that maybe they're not as hateful as they pretend to be.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:39 PM
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On closer inspection, these are loafers.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:45 PM
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At unfogged we're being ironic. Also, at LNS they don't joke about baby-raping pitbulls.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:46 PM
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Also, no one at Unfogged ever has sex, reflecting the success of my proselytizing.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:46 PM
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I think it's more that you found an audience for which your proselytizing would be unnecessary.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:49 PM
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It's fun to make fun of these folks on Unfogged, yeah, but seriously, what a bunch of dorks!

"Oooh, I'm ready to fight, I am. I fight all the time! I think we should all carry guns!" Uh-huh. Right. "We've all done target practice, unlike the great unwashed." Yep, I believe you, sure...

It's like college-age punks, except stupider--everyone's all concerned with proving to each other how tough and cool and connected they are while really being generic white middle/upper-middle class people.

Just because their politics are bad doesn't make them the Hitler Youth, even if they'd like to be taken for a Very Terrible, Very Ruthless Political Fighting Force.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:50 PM
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ITYM a Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Political Fighting Force.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:52 PM
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10

I dunno, reading the article yesterday made me very skeptical that anyone in LNS actually had sex.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:52 PM
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Sex is an urban legend.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:53 PM
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12

Some of my best friends of friends have had sex.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:54 PM
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13

I think the comments to that story are where the action is.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:56 PM
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14

I ran into this guy in a bar once whose cousin's best friend claimed to have had sex.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:56 PM
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The most hilarious thing about the article, to us, is that everywhere we live and hang out, according to LNS, is so dangerous you'll get murdered in 5 minutes.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:58 PM
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16

13 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 3:58 PM
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If a release was signed, that is one thing, but journalism, where you name specific names or quote specific people without their knowledge, it is illegal.

Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:01 PM
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The comments are great. Just as you wonder "is it really like that? could they be such assholes?" you read the comments and think: heh-indeedy.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:03 PM
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I think the comments to that story are where the action is.

Perhaps so for purposes of hilarity--even reading 1000+ comments Unfogged threads didn't make me ready to go through less than 300 hundred poorly formatted indignant replies from LNS kids. But nothing that I did see convinced me they ever had sex.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:04 PM
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15 is right, I think. It's hilarious, but also kind of horrifying, to realize that the supposed Up and Coming Ruling Class is that afraid of normal people.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:05 PM
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21

I so loved the fact that she printed the name, age, and alma mater of the ass-fucking guy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:06 PM
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Best line in the comments: And he NEVER told you that you were cute.

Take that, bitch!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:09 PM
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This is irresponsible journalism at best. The media is intended to be a "watch dog" and report without bias. You knew the intentions of this story from the start.

This person should be shot.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:09 PM
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13 is right. It's delightful how all of the indignant, angry, insulting comments all basically say, 'This is a true story.'


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:10 PM
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At the end of the day, they hate because they are jealous. Jealous of our priviledge, jealous of our economic success, jealous of our fun. I hate to say it but they hate us for the same reasons the terrorists do. Perhaps that's why they all want us to withdraw from Iraq and hand victory to al Qaeda on a silver platter? Ok, I better stop before I go off on a major tangent/rant here.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:12 PM
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The construction of that sentence means that the author thinks the terrorists hate LNS users specifically, which is just a wee bit self-important.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:13 PM
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Note that "Action" wanted to go to a party and was not invited.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:16 PM
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This is giving me flashbacks to grading freshman comp:

I am very surprised this article has been published by Washington City Paper, strictly based off the amount of vulgarities and the lack of professionalism with regards to basic ethics of literature.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:18 PM
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ZOMG, and now I see why (from the same wordy comment):

such an offensive and generalizing statement is preposterous, especially in the headline of an article. I learned in my first introduction to literature class during my freshman year of college years ago that such a statement is wildly inappropriate.

AAHHHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE THIS STUDENT GOT A D.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:19 PM
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"Every happy family is alike..." Preposterous!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:20 PM
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I was also struck by the fashion. I went to high school in Vermont in the 80s, so polo shirts and topsiders were basically the garb of my people. But the uniform is unchanged more than 20 years later?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:20 PM
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The anal-sex proposition came from John Tabacco, a 25-year-old graduate of Georgetown Prep and Denison University. His friends were both graduates of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

I blame Apo.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:21 PM
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Webster's defines happy families as being similar to each other and unhappy families as being different.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:22 PM
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20: I'd be surprised if it hasn't always been that way.

In college, I remember being struck at the number of kids who viewed the middle-class, ethnically-diverse neighborhood one subway stop away from campus as "sketchy." I think if your adolescence is spent never having to socialize with normal people because you went to private school or just because you grew up in a white flight exurb somewhere, anything that doesn't approximate those environments is seen as sketchy.


Posted by: transplant | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 4:26 PM
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Is every human that tells an off color joke a dirtball?

Man! I hate people who say "that" rather than "who"!

Just sayin'.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 5:35 PM
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Is every human that what tells an off color joke a dirtball?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 5:36 PM
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Man! I hate people who say "that" rather than "who"!

All evidence to the contrary, I blame Duke.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:06 PM
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38

Or possibly Duke Ellington. Or the Thin White Duke. Or John Wayne.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:08 PM
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39

It's a good thing none of us get laid or some enterprising reporter might get interested in the things we say.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:14 PM
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40

Losers Who Talk About Sex All the Time But Never Get Any: The Shocking Truth!

"Perhaps the only sexually-fulfilled person at Unfogged.com is John Emerson, who aggressively disdains personal relationships of any kind........."


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:18 PM
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41

I'm not posting another comment in this thread until I get a hand-job.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:19 PM
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42

I sense a certain lack of dedication to this line of conversation. Peopoe, peopoe, if you can't get it up for outrage with respect to LNS, I can only assume that polo shirts and boat shoes (or whatever they're called) strike you as the MOST FUCKING UNSEXY GARB imaginable.

Sniff.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:33 PM
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I can only assume that polo shirts and boat shoes (or whatever they're called) strike you as the MOST FUCKING UNSEXY GARB imaginable.

Pretty much.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:38 PM
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44

In college, I remember being struck at the number of kids who viewed the middle-class, ethnically-diverse neighborhood one subway stop away from campus as "sketchy."

I remember going drinking with some people in Oxford and one of the (U.S.) grad students going on about how some bar we were going to was 'like, really blue collar' and the whole time we were in there was agitating to move to somewhere less dodgy. This was a perfectly normal city-centre bar, albeit one with a not particularly studenty crowd. Some people do live very sheltered lives.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 6:54 PM
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45

41: Kotsko, ever wondered how the thumb evolved?

Back on the veldt, often the women were too busy using their sexual wiles to entice antelopes into the snares to pay much attention to the guys. Men were thrown back on their own resources.

Self-reliance! Captain of your ship!


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:24 PM
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45: Funny story -- the person who first gave me the idea to masturbate was not John Emerson, but Dr. Dobson. Hence my constant habit of calling him by the honorific "Dr.," because no matter how despicable the man is, he made a difference in my life.

I'm already predicting a series of jokes that will be made in response. Don't let me down.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:27 PM
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47

"People who dress like they just got off a Cancun party boat," he tells me, referring to the dreaded turbo, "are not the type of people I want to associate with, especially as I transition into full adulthood."

Maybe ogged is LNS material?

Posted By: buyer on 07-05-2007 9:20 am advice? RE: BMW or Mercedes? Posted By: Easy on 07-05-2007 9:22 am A nice black Mercedes for sure. BMWs is very new money.

Oh, ogged is not LNS material.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:34 PM
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Wonkette has picked up the Minnesota Republican Legislator's marital Bible assault case, thank God -- no thanks to Unfogged, who sat on the story when they had a chance for a scoop.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:37 PM
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Yes, Kotsko, it is totally true that the anti-sex warriors of the early nineties gave unto me like 9/10s of the mental images I got off to. All those descriptions of vile lesbian sex? Made me bi. The lickspittle spent on anal? Probably the main reason I like it. Charts showing the slippery slope from hand-holding to genital fondling and beyond? Thank, you, Baptist Youth Group, for making me not look like a fool the night I lost my virginity.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:37 PM
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50

BTW, AWB, I think that a reasonable case can be made that Nilsson's "Dance into the Fire" and Iron Butterfly's "Inna-gadda-da-vida" were, in fact, Satanic. I'd add Zep's "Dazed and Confused" and "Trampled Under Foot" and Sly Stone's "LetMe Take You Higher".


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:41 PM
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After all, rock n roll is a spinoff of Gospel. Often the same people. The cosmic oneness cycles between its two poles.

If you guys had been raised Lutheran you'd be normal like me. Johann Sebastian Bach was in no respect or manner one of the forerunners of rock n roll.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:45 PM
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49: No, no -- in one of his books, he literally recommends masturbating, saying that virtually all boys and "some girls" do it. The idea had not previously occurred to me.

I was never really exposed to the really purient erotophobic literature as a teenager, nor to pornography, and for a long time was resigned to the idea that Victoria's Secret was as good as it got.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:45 PM
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53

Totally agree, Emerson. They are Satanic songs, and I suspect my parents of being Satanists for playing them so often when I was a kid.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:46 PM
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54

The reality of your hipster lifestyle is that most of you will live poor lives in cramped basements, have unattractive wives/husbands/partners, bitch about Republicans while benefiting from the tax burden we shoulder, and in general, not be able to experience much at all because you are very unsuccessful professionally and personally. We are better athletes, smarter in business, more attractive, tougher, and, in general, winners of the genetic lottery. Angela Valdez was treated well by almost everyone she encountered until she wrote this hyper-sexualized caricature of the 20-something Georgetown set. She is a known embellisher and clearly a loser in her personal life. Everyone who supports her on this thread is intellectually dishonest and probably a loser as well. Have fun being poor and insignificant, hipsters.


Posted by: TAKE THAT, UNFOGGED! | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:50 PM
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I think that the "captain of your ship" metaphor for women is about canoes.

So Dobson and Jocelyn Elders were of one mind about self-help?

Now that we've unveiled AWB's ritual Satanic abuse, the deprogramming can begin.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:50 PM
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Poor Angela. An ungrateful loser rocketed to fame by an inaccurate story about her long-suffering benefactors. She will certainly end badly.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:52 PM
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Dobson specifies that you shouldn't use porn.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:52 PM
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Why not?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:54 PM
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Because he's not finished with it yet.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:55 PM
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Eve, Deborah, Ruth, Esther, Mary Magdalene, Moses' sister, the immaculate Mary: who needs porn if you have the Bible?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:56 PM
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Because then you're committing adultery in your heart.

No, seriously. Nothing about how porn is produced, nothing about the potential abuse of women, nothing about the specific degrading nature of certain types of porn -- just that porn causes lust. It's the same kind of nuanced, fine-grained analysis that we've come to expect from the religious right.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 7:57 PM
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I was never really exposed to the really purient erotophobic literature as a teenager, nor to pornography, and for a long time was resigned to the idea that Victoria's Secret was as good as it got.

This is why atheists make better parents.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:00 PM
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I know for a fact that at least one person got in trouble from this article and had to have a talk with her parents. This is just not cool....

Hey I hang out with a wide range of people and I know the type. I have friends of all walks. In fact I have two friends that work RETAIL so don't tell me I'm insensitive.

In the end, whatever, just know that anyone who isn't on LNS is not going to be on either of my yachts (Wet Fantasea, one also in Mass.) and that's for a REASON


Posted by: UNFOGGED HIPSTERS ARE MEAN AND NOT SENSITIVE AND NOT INVITED ON MY YACHT | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:01 PM
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Wait, you're supposed to masturbate without lust? What the hell are you supposed to think about?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:02 PM
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You're not supposed to seek to create lust because lust is temptation from the Devil that will arise from time to time. The Devil, he's real, and he's present, and you don't need to go seeking him out.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:04 PM
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Damn. Italics, a double edged sword. The comment about the friends working retail was completely ruined.

But really...Georgetown frat boy assholes are assholes. Stop the presses! It did sort of seem like shooting fish in a barrel, and overkill to include peoples' real names. Okay, except maybe for the anal sex guy.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:04 PM
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Spiritual masturbation.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:05 PM
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Although I realize we've moved on to the question of what passages of the Bible James Dobson wants you to masturbate to now.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:05 PM
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Wasn't there once a sort of house style here where italics were for quotations from previous comments in the thread and blockquotes were for material quoted from outside sources?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:06 PM
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That is, I think you're supposed to masturbate joylessly to kill the itch, not wipe yourself with poison ivy because you love scratching so much.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:06 PM
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69: No, but it sounds good.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:08 PM
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Wasn't there once a sort of house style here

Yes. Fucking fallen world.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:09 PM
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Wait, what? Are you serious? I thought the style rule was that we were supposed to quote the previous comments in italics rather than refer to them by number. I never heard anything about block quotes.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:11 PM
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I think you're supposed to masturbate joylessly to kill the itch, not wipe yourself with poison ivy because you love scratching so much.


awesome analogy. You should write for right-wing anti-porn sites.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:12 PM
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Note my 17, Witt, you noob.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:13 PM
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74: I suckled from the teat, d00d.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:14 PM
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eb is just trying to curry favor with Ogged. Everyone knows he stays up late fuming about the house style violations.


Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:14 PM
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Fucking fallen world.

Word.

People, quit making me scroll way the fuck up the page to see what you're referencing.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:16 PM
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House style.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:18 PM
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70: God, I haven't read anything that arousing since I was a teenager.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:22 PM
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Oh noes! I am the Devil!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:24 PM
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Kotsko may be lost to us.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 8:36 PM
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Kotsko may be lost to us.

The Emersonian creed is a harsh one, and many weak-minded persons may be tempted to stray from the True Path...


Posted by: pt | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:08 PM
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I think we've established Emerson's allowance for wankery in 45.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:17 PM
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Wow, okay, I'm back. Does anyone have any calamine lotion?


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:18 PM
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86

To be is to copulate.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:21 PM
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So, are you, Ben?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:24 PM
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I am Ben.

You see?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:25 PM
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To see is to copulate.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:28 PM
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Afraid not, Sifu.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:28 PM
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Tom seen ugly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:31 PM
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w-lfs-n has lust in his grammar.

Not surprising, I suppose.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:35 PM
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My next essay: "Grammatical Jouissance: A Lacanian Reading of the Blog Comments of Ben w-lfs-n."


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:48 PM
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Great Onan's Hammer, Kotsko, can't ALB have any fun anymore?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 9:53 PM
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Hook 'em City Paper! While you're there, be sure to read the thrilling visual art coverage.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-14-07 10:56 PM
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No such thing as a toned size 10. Wow. I must be asleep. This must all be a terrible nightmare. Too bad, too, because 70 is a thing of beauty.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-15-07 1:04 AM
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Also, the whole bit about how he's quit his job to live off Google Ads causes me to wonder if all the pretty crackers have forgotten to buy a new calendar every year since 1999.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-15-07 1:10 AM
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Something makes me think he's got a substantial safety net in case it doesn't work out.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-15-07 1:16 AM
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Along with the red polos (the signature color of the LNS set), they wear blue blazers, madras shorts, loafers, and boat shoes.

Blazers...with madras shorts? Still, at least they're readily identifiable.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07-15-07 5:25 AM
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I just wish the article's author had brought along a military recruiter with her. I guarantee that hilarity woould have ensued.


Posted by: ed | Link to this comment | 07-15-07 12:27 PM
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