Re: On The Other Hand, Clams Are Nice

1

Pacing!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:33 PM
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Also, this post is better when read in the voice of Thurston Howell III.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:34 PM
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This post is better when added by the dollop to Bloody Marys.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:35 PM
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The clams themselves, being filter feeders, may be what cleared the water up. See zebra mussels.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:36 PM
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I was trying to think of something less depressing than politics, and clams was it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:37 PM
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Environmental devestation is less depressing than politics? Sicko.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:38 PM
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But I can't spell, so don't take me seriously.

LB is clam_dip on Late Night Shots you?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:38 PM
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Wait until the Long Island Sound runs red with blood!


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:38 PM
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Wait until the Long Island Sound runs red with bloody mary mix!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:40 PM
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But this is small scale environmental recovery! From clamless murk to clamfilled crystalline waters! The difference is really impressive -- it was just algae, but when I was a kid it was always sort of surprising to come out of the water clean, because the water itself was so brown.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:40 PM
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Or polo shirt dye.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:40 PM
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12

Fine. I'll just sulk over my martini.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:41 PM
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Clam martini?

Actually I bet that'd be delicious, in its way.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:42 PM
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It's actually kind of hard to ruin a martini, if you like martinis. And if you don't put all that weird fruity stuff in them.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:43 PM
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I dunno about the gin. Vodka and clam broth would be very tasty.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:43 PM
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Now I want a martini. If I were a real WASP, I'd have hard liquor in my office.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:44 PM
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Dirty filter-feeding martini?


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:44 PM
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18

A friend from Canada once related being forced to go on field trips to lakes killed by acid rain. All the kids were impressed by how the polluted water left the lake much prettier, since it had killed everything in it.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:44 PM
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16: Advantage, telecommuting!


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:45 PM
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16: For a long time I had a bottle of whiskey in a desk drawer. Never actually drank any until I brought it home, but it did give the office that Mickey Spillane feel.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:47 PM
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20: couldn't you have achieved the same effect by closing the blinds and not dusting for thirty years?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:48 PM
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Slower. And I would have had to (A) had a glass panel installed in the door; (B) had my name lettered on it in gold, and; (C) waited untill the letters wore partially off. Just giving some drawer space to a bottle of Bushmills was much easier.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:49 PM
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22: Someday, I will achieve A-C. Optimally while working at a high-tech startup or research lab or someplace equally inappropriate.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:52 PM
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If you can work on your ventriloquism skills at the same time, so when people walk into your office you can do the voiceover, you're golden.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:53 PM
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I'll just pay Lorenzo Music to hide behind my desk.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:55 PM
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And just think - all that brown muck? In the clams! Pollutalicious!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:57 PM
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On the 20 note, my last office had Beer Fridays, but I don't drink beer, so I always had an in-use bottle of bourbon in my desk. When the boss was in town, the bottle opened between 4 and 5. When he was out of town, it was closer to noon.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:59 PM
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Shellfish are your one-stop pollution shop. Buy a lobster, get the PCBs free!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 2:59 PM
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I figure that anything with a total body weight of about an ounce can't have accumulated all that much of anything unpleasant.

(I have to admit I wouldn't eat these clams raw. But I'm not huge on raw shellfish anyway.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:02 PM
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Raw cherrystones are one of my favorite things in the world. Pollution is in the mind, anyhow.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:03 PM
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20: My wife got started on good Scotch because the partner she was working for kept a bottle or two in the office and would bring it out along in the evening. Now there's a fairly direct correlation between how busy/stressful work is and how often the Macallan bottle has to be replaced.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:04 PM
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32

Are you going to share the clams, or are you being shellfish?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:04 PM
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Heebie is banned!


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:07 PM
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anything with a total body weight of about an ounce can't have accumulated all that much of anything unpleasant

Just how much do you think a few million hepatitis organisms weigh?


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:07 PM
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34: yup. you're worst bets are either top of the food chain (e.g. salmon) or bottom of the ocean/scavengers. Even without considering red tide.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:10 PM
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DaveL is jealous!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:11 PM
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34: Once I've boiled them, they're just extra protein.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:12 PM
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FTR, I play culinary roulette all the time; I like me an oyster, dammit.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:19 PM
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I'm somewhat embarrassed that I need a couple of drinks to warm up to oysters. Cold sober, the "Hmm. This is an ashtray filled with something that looks like mucus," reaction hits. But midway through an evening, they're very tasty.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:23 PM
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40

In fairness to the oysters, they're tasty earlier. You're just not ready yet.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:25 PM
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In fairness to the oysters, I think they'd prefer I stayed sober, and you stayed away entirely. The interests of the oysters really aren't being considered here.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:27 PM
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42

In fairness to the oysters, they're tasty earlier. You're just not ready yet.

Does this concept also apply to beer goggles?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:27 PM
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43

The mucus really mellows the sooty notes.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:28 PM
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44

40/41: They're best straight off the rocks.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:28 PM
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45

OT, did you guys see that Reid is going to force an actual, physical filibuster over the ltest Iraq amendment? Tomorrow night - don't miss all the action!

Actually, his press release contains one of the best phrases I've heard from an elected Dem in years - "The Republicans are more interested in protecting the President than they are in protecting the troops."


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:30 PM
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46

I call it "Cigarettes Phlegmbé".


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:30 PM
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47

Also: how could we possibly have missed this story, especially with the oh-so-perfect denouement?


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:31 PM
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48

45: Dude! I could give him a big wet kiss.

I want those fuckers reading recipes into the record. I want the South Carolina phonebook through the letter S.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:31 PM
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49

The word "troops" is dead to me. Troppus the spoort.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:32 PM
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50

In fairness to the oysters

They want to be eaten. On the veldt, this was the only way for them to reproduce.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:36 PM
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In fairness to the oysters

They want to be eaten. On the veldt, this was the only way for them to reproduce.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:36 PM
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50 was the walrus, 51 the carpenter.


Posted by: slolernr | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:37 PM
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I'd be interested to know whether she of the carp hatred feels the same way about bottom feeding shellfish?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:42 PM
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She'd tell us if she weren't so busy trying to be punny.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:43 PM
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Trying, ha! If I weren't so busy being successfully punny.

If I weren't, I'd let you know that I'm very fond of clams, in fact. I've never had to deal with huge rotting clams while hungover.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:46 PM
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55 -- And you'd hate the clams if you did? Sometimes, dear Heebie, the fault lies not in our Cyprinidae, but in ourselves.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:53 PM
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Out of curiosity, which town is it in? That's where my in-laws live. (Of course, being year-round residents, they hate the "summer people".)


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:54 PM
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Oh so now I'm supposed to be all more-self-actualized-than-thou?? Well excuse me, but the carp started it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:55 PM
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Mattituck; our street is mostly summer people.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:55 PM
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55: Eh, at least the clams come up easily.

I missed the drunkenness thread over the weekend, but it was a major shock when I started law school and suddenly started having hangovers instead of just getting sick before going to bed and then waking up feeling fine. And the all-time worst pre-hangover meal was stew. Partially-digested celery, carrot, and potato chunks are not meant to return to daylight, particularly through one's nose.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:55 PM
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Oh dear me, Dave, I hadn't eaten the carp. I had a summer job which entailed getting the dead, rotting carp out of the retention pond, from time to time.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:57 PM
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59: That's where my in-laws live.


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 3:58 PM
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And if you see an ultralight flying overhead in Mattituck, in all likelihood it's my brother-in-law.


Posted by: zadfrack | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:00 PM
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64

Oy. This would be why you decided to stay in school?


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:01 PM
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I felt my talents were better used elsewhere, yes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:02 PM
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He's that guy? Small world.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:03 PM
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And when I think about it, what's scary is not so much the rotting carp as what else must have been in that pond to kill them off. It ain't easy.

You are, of course, familiar with the difference between carp and lawyers? (One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder; the other's just a fish.)


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:05 PM
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There were a lot of carp in the pond. I think they died from old age. This was at a trout farm.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:09 PM
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52: I buried Paul.


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:14 PM
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Izaak Walton on carp.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:21 PM
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Chapter IX, if you scroll down.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:22 PM
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Izaak Walton didn't get all bent out of shape over invasive species, but then, he didn't jet-ski.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 4:56 PM
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62 to 60


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 9:17 PM
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I would like a Firefox plug-in that reads all web pages in the voice of Thurston Howell III. See to it, my Imaginary Internet Friends.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 9:18 PM
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This thread was better before heebie clammed up.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-16-07 9:39 PM
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Meanwhile, "Isaak Walton on a jetski" has to be worked into something, and I hardly care what.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 07-17-07 1:41 AM
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I think it's best used as a simple exclamation of surprise. "Great Izaak Walton on a jetski!"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-17-07 5:53 AM
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Either that, or as a direction to the Cathedral architect when discussing stained glass windows.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 07-17-07 7:04 AM
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Here's his window--the irony (irony?).


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07-17-07 8:26 AM
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