Re: Me 'n Otto gotta get blotto in the grotto, pronto.

1

Let's make this story the hallmark of the 2008 Democratic campaign. Kind of the inverse of the welfare queen; "here's why incomes over a million bucks a year should be taxed at 75%."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:02 AM
horizontal rule
2

Oh sure, just go and alienate the vital subterranean harem and narcotics demographic.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:03 AM
horizontal rule
3

That wouldn't work. Every red-blooded American man believes that a secret sex-grotto is his due. And if he could make manager at Wal-Mart, he'd be one step closer.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:05 AM
horizontal rule
4

this reminds me a LOT of what my best friend said in jr high when we had a sleep over and started talking about what our sex fantasies were.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:07 AM
horizontal rule
5

Of course, if I had a secret grotto, I'd fill it with evil plans and their accoutrements. Once your evil plan succeeds, the prostitutes come to you.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:13 AM
horizontal rule
6

It's late, and I'm probably taking a joke too seriously, but I hope that no Democratic candidate makes any argument which resembles that. Can't make the tax-loving stereotype true: while of course Democrats will be tarred as tax-loving no matter what they do, it's also the case that arguments like that are substantively wrong, taxes are, ceteris paribus, evils.* Instead, the argument is, "government needs to provide all these good things in order for each of us to treat our fellow citizens with human dignity they deserve, and do so responsibly must pay for them. This unfortunately means taxes, and given that we have to tax, here's the most efficient and fair way to structure our tax system."

*There's an exception for taxes passed with the primary goal of disincentivizing a particular activity, rather than revenue raising, but that's not what's being discussed here.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:13 AM
horizontal rule
7

Who wants their secret sex grotto under a Wal-Mart?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:14 AM
horizontal rule
8

6 so you wouldn't oppose a 50% tax on sex-grottos?


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:15 AM
horizontal rule
9

7:
You think they work for shit wages and zero benefits because there's nothing better? Well, you're right: there's nothing better than sex grottoes!


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:19 AM
horizontal rule
10

If you outlaw sex grottos, only outlaws will have sex in grottos.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:19 AM
horizontal rule
11

6: What are you trying to do, undermine my role as lead DNC campaign strategist?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:19 AM
horizontal rule
12

I'll bet John Edwards is building a grotto under that gigantic-ass house.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:20 AM
horizontal rule
13

I think I'd be for it, if it were structured to target copying Hugh Hefner's lifestyle instead of pursuing more creative perversions.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
14

Mr. President, we cannot allow a sex-grotto gap!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
15

"At least one of you had thought about an underground sex grotto too."

Not the underground part.


Posted by: Gary Farber | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
16

10 made me laugh, which is rare enough.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:22 AM
horizontal rule
17

12: Under every gigantic-ass house there is a gigantic ass-house.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:23 AM
horizontal rule
18

An aggressive legal theory being examined by prosecutors is whether Broadcom failed to disclose to investors that Mr. Nicholas' purported drug use hindered his ability to be CEO, the people close to the situation said.


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:24 AM
horizontal rule
19

17: Nice and subtle. In a good way.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:24 AM
horizontal rule
20

19: Thanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:27 AM
horizontal rule
21

Totally geeky, but that's what I get paid to be; it's weird to think of hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment that I've purchased, much of which supported a sex-grotto. (a little bit from nearly everything I've authorized for purchase over the last few years)


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:28 AM
horizontal rule
22

The next Portland is meetup at Roamsedge's place.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:32 AM
horizontal rule
23

God damn it. meetup is.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:33 AM
horizontal rule
24

I've fantasized about owning a leather club, does that count?


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:37 AM
horizontal rule
25

Crap man, I don't even have a front porch right now.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:38 AM
horizontal rule
26

25 to 23 & 22.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:39 AM
horizontal rule
27

Only if it's in a grotto. We could fudge on the underground part but there have to be some standards or else this entire exercise becomes a farce.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:39 AM
horizontal rule
28

There's a perfectly good grotto not far from here. The Church only uses it on weekends.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:42 AM
horizontal rule
29

28: perfectly good grotto


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:44 AM
horizontal rule
30

Sorrowful Mother ≠ teh sexxxy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:48 AM
horizontal rule
31

We could fudge on the underground part

ATM.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:49 AM
horizontal rule
32

Bat cave < sex grotto. This dude was lame.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:58 AM
horizontal rule
33

... worst typo ever.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:59 AM
horizontal rule
34

32-3: Bat sex > Dolphin sex?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:01 AM
horizontal rule
35

That was supposed to be a >, I take it?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:02 AM
horizontal rule
36

35 to 33/32.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:03 AM
horizontal rule
37

Yup, sure was.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:04 AM
horizontal rule
38

33: I dunno.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:04 AM
horizontal rule
39

33: Depends on your kink.

Bats are cool, but do they ever stink. Best bat experience was sleeping under the stars in Southern Oregon (Abert Lake) and having bats fly 6 inches from my face. It was twilight and they were heading out to feed; I had picked a spot in their normal flight path.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:05 AM
horizontal rule
40

They all have them. C'mon... Why do you think Al Gore's power bill is so high?


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:05 AM
horizontal rule
41

Al Gore eats coal for breakfast.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:07 AM
horizontal rule
42

That's pretty kinky.


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:08 AM
horizontal rule
43

Hell, don't they all out yonder Appalachia?


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:08 AM
horizontal rule
44

Only the rich.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:09 AM
horizontal rule
45

I want a solar powered sex grotto.


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:10 AM
horizontal rule
46

45: Tidal power; with all the sliding up and down.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:14 AM
horizontal rule
47

Tidal powered sex grotto? Puh-leeze. That's so 90s.


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:15 AM
horizontal rule
48

Now an underwater sex grotto would show imagination.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:16 AM
horizontal rule
49

And physical prowess.


Posted by: froz gobo | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 1:18 AM
horizontal rule
50

You know, I never invested that much energy into imagining the *setting* for my "what if I were filthy rich" exploits. Above ground or below ground? Grotto or pleasure dome? I mean, sure, I generally imagine a water feature and a few nice throw pillows, but after that my focus is elsewhere.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 2:42 AM
horizontal rule
51

Frankly, I'm amazed that I'm the first to suggest a geothermal sex grotto. Hello, hot springs? It's hardly a sex grotto with no hot tubs in the first place, neh?


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 2:51 AM
horizontal rule
52

Fuck this hidden underground crap - I want an above-ground sex mansion in the middle of, say, 300 acres. No neighbours. And NBarmes can be dungeon master for being better than Lou Reed.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 3:26 AM
horizontal rule
53

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
Where Alf my next-door neighbour ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 3:45 AM
horizontal rule
54

Yeah, I don't think I'd like to be underground - I'd rather have windows (without curtains, to walk around naked in front of, of course). Actually I'd like to be high up I think - can I have a grotto on top of a tower?

I'd also like to complain about the fucking weather whilst I'm here, it's bloody pissing it down again. Just dropped my 10 year old off at sailing, where they were debating which way the lightning was going to decide whether they could actually go out on the water. It's fucking JULY!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 4:18 AM
horizontal rule
55

re: 54

Yes, it's all a bit diluvial here. I drove into work this morning and some of the puddles on the road were deep enough they worried me.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 4:20 AM
horizontal rule
56

This guy sounds like he should have been a Republican senator from the Deep South. He missed his calling in life.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 4:48 AM
horizontal rule
57

I've had sex in a grotty basement, that should count for something, right?

Also: nitrous oxide? Rock star sex orgies feature expensive, out-of-town prostitutes with giant balloons hanging out with their mouths? I knew it.

You have to wonder why he named it Broadcom.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 5:16 AM
horizontal rule
58

this whole thing just sounds really grotty.


Posted by: bryan | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 5:31 AM
horizontal rule
59

57: out of. Giant balloons and prostitutes seldom have the kind of relationship that involves hanging out, at least not outside of "The Prisoner" slash fiction.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 5:35 AM
horizontal rule
60

55 - worse here now, although the rain is stopping. Lots of floodwater on roads, some closed. Hope it's dried out for your journey home.

Wasn't windy earlier, then suddenly a strong wind came up - ended up with four boats capsized and abandoned on the sailing lake! Quite exciting. But still - JULY???


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 6:51 AM
horizontal rule
61

If the underground sex grotto is anything like the London Underground (which I imagine it is), it would be flooded now.


Posted by: Nakku | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:06 AM
horizontal rule
62

re: 60

Yeah, seems to have stopped here too and the wind's picked up.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:07 AM
horizontal rule
63

I like the word "grotto".


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:07 AM
horizontal rule
64

Because it's close to "grotty" and conveys how sleazy this thing probably was.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:10 AM
horizontal rule
65

I wondering what kind of ventilation this grotto had.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:16 AM
horizontal rule
66

Now I am singing "In the grottooooo" to myself.

On a balmy Orange County night
Another little speedball rolls outta sight
In the grottooo


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:21 AM
horizontal rule
67

54/55: You anti-diluvians - would you rather live in drought-ridden southern California and watch the hills burn and burn and burn? [Did I mention "burn"? Massive conflagration? Air black with soot? Burn?]

I'm expecting to see the old Save Water - Shower With A Friend bumper stickers anytime now.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:44 AM
horizontal rule
68

Grotto, schmotto.
Why don't we go
To my sex gazebo?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:47 AM
horizontal rule
69

Rather:

Who wants to sex gazebo?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:48 AM
horizontal rule
70

sex gazebo

The B-52's much-anticipated follow-up to "Love Shack," right?


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:57 AM
horizontal rule
71

Who wants to sex Rather?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 7:59 AM
horizontal rule
72

70: With bonus B-sides "Resentment Hut" and "Divorce Pagoda".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:00 AM
horizontal rule
73

Depends on what the frequency is, doesn't it?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:00 AM
horizontal rule
74

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in water.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to choose a motter,
I'd totally pick:
"Come sex my grotter!"


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:02 AM
horizontal rule
75

64: Because it's close to "grotty" and conveys how sleazy this thing probably was.

Kind of close to "frottage", too, no?


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:12 AM
horizontal rule
76

Telecoms: we're slow and steady types, but when we get going....


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:12 AM
horizontal rule
77

72: A pagoda? That's all that's left is a stinking pagoda? Where's Will -- someone's gotta renegotiate this deal!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
78

Hey all, If Sifu shows up, will somebody ask him to e-mail either SP or me. I can forward an e-mail from Sifu to SP easily enough. Thanks.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:20 AM
horizontal rule
79

Mind you, Broadcom doesn't seem to be doing any the worse for it.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:28 AM
horizontal rule
80

Um, is the site loading unbearably slowly for anyone else?


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:34 AM
horizontal rule
81

I'm getting a couple seconds' delay on comment windows, but nothing too egregious.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:38 AM
horizontal rule
82

Gods, the delay is brutal over here.


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 8:49 AM
horizontal rule
83

Very bad here too. And wouldn't let me comment just now either.

67 - No, burning is not good. And everyone needs drinking water. But both wreck homes and kill people, so neither are nice.

Don't think today's are going to have serious results though, but there's a lot of water around for July.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 9:45 AM
horizontal rule
84

With bonus B-sides "Resentment Hut" and "Divorce Pagoda".

*snorgles apostropher*


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:16 AM
horizontal rule
85

Can you imagine what kind of horrible mushroom trip you'd have in this sex grotto? What a terrible idea.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:22 AM
horizontal rule
86

This post's title quotes the lyrics incorrectly.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:40 AM
horizontal rule
87

The sex grotto itself is a positively capital idea. It's the Rod Stewart that really indicts him.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:42 AM
horizontal rule
88

It would be cool if you had a potto in your grotto.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:53 AM
horizontal rule
89

"Come on. Admit it. At least one of you had thought about an underground sex grotto too."

Hell, no.

Underground sex grottos are so new money.

A rooftop brothel would be significantly more refined.


Posted by: Petey | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:54 AM
horizontal rule
90

Would a multi-million-dollar sex grotto containing pottos and other lemur-like creatures rather than human prostitutes be more or less creepy than the one in the story?

I guess it depends on whether Rod Stewart was still involved.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:55 AM
horizontal rule
91

It would be cool if you had a potto in your grotto.

And you fed it natto.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:56 AM
horizontal rule
92

If I won the lotto I could get blotto on sake and natto in my grotto with Otto the potto and Henry Cotto. It would be decorated with a Watteau.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 10:58 AM
horizontal rule
93

And blazoned with a motto.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:00 AM
horizontal rule
94

Someone could recite the motto, sotto voce.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:01 AM
horizontal rule
95

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:02 AM
horizontal rule
96

Ditto.


Posted by: Watto | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:03 AM
horizontal rule
97

In my grotto, we'd listen to fado.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:05 AM
horizontal rule
98

Savvis and Level 3 are apparently having "issues" between the West Coast and Dallas/Fort Worth area, which happens to be where your hosts are located..

fortunately tracert works just as well from the grotto!


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:06 AM
horizontal rule
99

97: I think I'd prefer something a little more staccato.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:07 AM
horizontal rule
100

Sung with vibrato?


Posted by: Watto | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:07 AM
horizontal rule
101

In JM's sex grotto, everybody wears one of these. In mine, however...


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:08 AM
horizontal rule
102

Though there's something to be said for a legato ostinato about winning the lotto.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:08 AM
horizontal rule
103

101.---Oh my god.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:10 AM
horizontal rule
104

I clicked on "this guy loves the cock" just as I was answering the phone. Apo, you bastard.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:14 AM
horizontal rule
105

Clicking on an Apo link while answering the phone is just asking for trouble.


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
106

104: I am so totally wearing that shirt to the next meet-up I attend.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
107

These places tend to be poorly ventilated. You need to watch out for grottoerotic asphyxiation.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:19 AM
horizontal rule
108

Steady your sexcam with a Manfrotto.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 11:24 AM
horizontal rule
109

Cryptic Ned is banned.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
110

This may be one of the worst threads in the history of the intertubes. Completely without redeeming value.

Also, DominEditrix, I'm not worthy to shine the boots of St. Reed.


Posted by: Nbarnes | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 2:51 PM
horizontal rule
111

110: "threads" s/b "comments"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-07 5:55 PM
horizontal rule