Re: Swarth Ascendent

1

So did you get either of their numbers?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:40 PM
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I think it's cool that Wingnut Lifeguard knows your name. I'm good at getting to the friendly chit-chat phase with people I see every day but am very bad about introducing myself and getting to the calling each other by our first names phase. Mark does that effortlessly, which I admire.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:49 PM
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Who's Mark?

Does he know your first name?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:51 PM
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Noob.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:52 PM
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I'm good at getting to the friendly chit-chat phase with people I see every day but am very bad about introducing myself and getting to the calling each other by our first names phase.

Me too. One problem is that once you've been talking to someone for a while, it's mighty awkward to ask "so, what's your name?"


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:53 PM
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it's mighty awkward to ask "so, what's your name?"

Nah, you just say "I'm Teo, by the way" one day when you're talking.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:54 PM
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Teo, you're getting to the age where I realized "Okay, even if I have no reason to believe the person I'm talking to wants to know my name, I should introduce myself anyway."

It's easier for me though, because my name is only three syllables first and last.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:55 PM
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Nah, you just say "I'm Teo, by the way" one day when you're talking.

Still awkward.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:55 PM
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Still awkward.

Only if you're neurotic.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:56 PM
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In 7 what I was trying to say was that I realized that I should just introduce myself as soon as possible. Even before I develop (or do not develop) a rapport with the person I'm talking to. It's the socially lubricating thing to do.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:56 PM
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Only if you're neurotic.

Well, yeah.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:57 PM
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Ditto 2 and 5. Part of it is a slightly private/standoffish/whatever nature, but I think Teofilo makes a good point: getting to the names sooner rather than later makes things much easier.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 4:59 PM
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in my neck of the woods, at the end of a conversation people will often smile at you, look you in the eye, stick out a hand, and say, "George" (or whatever their name is), and you respond. Not awkward. Ritual. In fact, ritual for getting over the awkward.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:00 PM
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in other words, what Ned sed.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:00 PM
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sort of. you get to wait to the end of the conversation to decide if you really want to bother to introduce self or not.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:02 PM
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15: But what if one person does and the other one doesn't? My way is better.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:03 PM
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Only if you're neurotic.

I'll say. Personally, I forget people's names at least three times before I learn them, so I'm constantly reintroducing myself to people I've talked to before. It makes me seem brain damaged, but it's kind of social.

Was I wrong to accept these favors? One could argue that I was, although I believe that the particulars, of which I self-servingly keep you ignorant, absolve me in each case.

People shouldn't be blowing their grandkids in the pool anyhow.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:06 PM
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People shouldn't be blowing their grandkids in the pool anyhow.

Or so the mullahs would have you believe.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:07 PM
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16: uh, most times people can sense these things.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:10 PM
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19: Unless they're neurotic.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:11 PM
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mrmf, mmf!, and mcmc should have a fight.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:15 PM
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With mrh as referee.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:17 PM
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mmf! and i would probably prefer a love-in.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:17 PM
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Let's get ready to rumrmfmmfmcmcble!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:18 PM
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I imagine "mrmf", "mmf!", and "mrh" as monosyllables, but "mcmc" would have to be two syllables.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:18 PM
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Don't tell me that you and mmf! know each other, and therefore probably a third commenter as well?

Which is not to say that the love-in sounds a worse option. Heavens no.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:20 PM
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but we still haven't discussed how much it sucks that ogged took advantage of his male privilege in the grocery store and cut in line in front of that poor woman.

also i want to know what 'rich-looking' means.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:21 PM
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Would the love-in still require a refereee?


Posted by: CrypticNed | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:22 PM
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Options for "mrmf":

(A) it stands for "mister mmf!" and should be pronounced accordingly
(B) it should be pronounced "murmph"
(C) it should pronounced "em are em eff"

also i want to know what 'rich-looking' means.

It means she looked rich.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:22 PM
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i want to know what 'rich-looking' means.

The guy asked her several times to stop burning hundreds in the store; she was totally asking for it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:23 PM
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I'm in the introducing yourself camp. Why wouldnt you? People are so afraid to talk with others.

The only reason not to introduce yourself is:

1. you are a clingy stalker
2.they are a clingy stalker.

If they are the clingy stalker, then you need to learn how to firmly and politely walk away from a clingy person.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:24 PM
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I go with "murmph". If you want something to be pronounced as initials, then capitalize them, put periods between them, or both.

Likewise, eb, rm, and bitchphd (also one syllable).


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:25 PM
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oooh. "mr. mf" is almost as good as mr. lady. a moniker i have always wanted to steal.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:26 PM
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Also, the lifeguard clearly knew that Ogged needed the practice. Lifguard is thinking "Poor thing...he works so hard at it. You have to give him credit for effort."


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:26 PM
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32: wait, you pronounce it like "bitchfud"? You are a strange person.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:26 PM
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35, my eyes tell me I should do so.

"Mr. Lady" is not as good a moniker as "Uncle Grandma".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:28 PM
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Bitchfud is spread by Machosoft.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:28 PM
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How I mentally pronounce your pseudonyms:

E.B.
M.R.H.
Bitch, P.H.D.
M.C.M.C.
M.M.F
Mr. Mif.
DS I pronounce "Slack."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:30 PM
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"Mr. Lady" is not as good a moniker as "Uncle Grandma".

YOU TELL EM


Posted by: UNCLE GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:32 PM
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40

E.B.
M.R.H.
Bitch, P.H.D.
M.C.M.C.
M.M.F
Mr. Mif.
DS I pronounce "Slack."

But "L." you pronounce "llllulllll, period". Right?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:33 PM
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But do you imagine the accents of various commenters?

For some reason, I think of FL as having a Princeton accent and LB as being very New Englandy.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:36 PM
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Lifguard is thinking "Poor thing...he works so hard at it. You have to give him credit for effort."

Or, "No way I'm letting the Persian Paddler share a lane with these white people. What's next? Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together -- mass hysteria..."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:45 PM
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43

Ayup. Just came from havin' a dish of chowdah.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 5:46 PM
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"Ayuh" would be canonical. Also I'm thinking the chowdah would be in a bowl.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 6:10 PM
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45

Wow. As of 12, I pronounce "teofilo":

tee-off-fill-o


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 6:11 PM
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46

I mentally pronounced Ogged "Ahmedinejad," until 42.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 6:24 PM
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47

I bow to Jesus.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 7:43 PM
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48

Speaking of NE, the pronunciation in 32/35 sounds the name of a particularly opinionated town in suburban Mass.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:32 PM
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49

48: it's next to Athol.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:36 PM
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I awkwardly find that I am surrounded by friends who are bad with names. So I follow what seem to be the names my friends say for people, like, during softball games, and then, later, realize that I have everyone's name wrong. This has been humiliating, especially in the context of flirting.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:44 PM
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AWB:

Just use "Babe" or "Dude." Nobody realize that you don't actually know their name.

Oh, and don't forget to wink at them and point your finger at them like a mock gun when you do.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:50 PM
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52

Or "scout", or "coach".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:51 PM
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53

And make sure there's a cigarette dangling from your lips, and that your finger is pointing at their genitals.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:53 PM
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54

53 is pretty much the AWB MO. I am so smooth.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:56 PM
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Many people here posting under pseuds are abreviated to acronyms in references. This is true of me, for instance, and when I see it, I mentally pronounce the acronym—ellbee, aydeepee, ehdoubleyoubee. I think it would seem odd to use the full name in a reference, although visitors sometimes do this, but no regulars. Probably how we think of each other much of the time,


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:57 PM
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I've know guys who constantly referred to other guys as:
- "ace"
- "champ"
- "big guy"
- "big fella"
- "B"
- "playa"

Any of those would be great for making the guys on the softball team treat you as less of a ladylike lady.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 8:58 PM
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48, 49:

Fitchburg? I'm, like, from right near there. wtf. Athol is aka radio-free Athol.

huh.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:00 PM
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58

56: Eh, I've moved past all that now toward playful horsing around.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:00 PM
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I know a guy who constantly refers to everyone, male and female, as "babe". Could be worth a shot!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:02 PM
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Ned is in a frat?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:03 PM
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Taking your cues from the rugby video, one presumes.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:03 PM
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57: I didn't think he was actually talking about a real town. It would have to be "Bitchford," wouldn't it?

Secondhand college hi-jinks: visit a coffee shop in Athol, ask the waitress where you are, when she says "you're in Athol," say "well you're a fucking bitch," and storm out.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:04 PM
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61 to 58.

The person who calls everyone "B" is actually a woman, now that I think more clearly.

"champ" is another one.

"scout" sounds more like what the pediatrician calls the kids. Mine called me and my sister both "tiger".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:05 PM
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62 gets it wrong. You need to respond to the waitress with something that makes use of a lisp, to make it clear what you're doing.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:05 PM
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I use the word "playa" in court every time I forget the judge's name:

Judge: "Please draft that Order."
Me: "Fo Sho, Playa!"


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:06 PM
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"Slugger" works with the context.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:07 PM
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67

I suck at remembering names, but oh well.

It's helpful when someone, like Ogged, simply has their name tattooed across their chest.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:07 PM
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68

I call little boys "buddy" and little girls "sweetheart." I blame the patriarchy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:08 PM
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60, I did play intramural soccer.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:08 PM
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Mine called me and my sister both "tiger".

Did you roar your terrible roars and show your terrible claws?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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I call all women 5 years older than me or younger "kiddo."

It's affectionate, you see.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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72

"Sarge".

Guys only. Sorry, bitches.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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B, if you slept with any post-pubescent males you'd realize that a tattoo on a real man's chest would not be helpful, because it would be covered with ultra-manly hair.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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Er, what am I talking about, I said "champ" twice. One of them was supposed to be "chief".

The guy who said "champ" was REALLY AN ASSHOLE. Don't go that route unless it's really sarcasm time.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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68: See, this is the advantage of long-haired boys. They get called "sweetheart" as well as "buddy."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:09 PM
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"advantage" s/b "shame"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:10 PM
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73: Keep telling yourself that, fuzzy.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:11 PM
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74: "big guy" is the real sign of an asshole.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:11 PM
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Ogged:

When you decide to be a swimmer, you are going to have to rid yourself of significant amounts of hair.

Start with the shears.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:12 PM
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Btw, Ogged, how *was* the sex with redbull guy?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:12 PM
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81

"big guy" is the real sign of an asshole.

Nah, "big guy" is pretty common and doesn't necessarily indicate an asshole. "Playa" I'm having trouble even imagining used unironically, however.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:13 PM
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"Playa" I'm having trouble even imagining used unironically, however.

Imagine the tour guide from Everything is Illuminated, but much shorter and Albanian instead of Ukrainian.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:13 PM
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When you decide to be a swimmer

You can't bait me, playa.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:14 PM
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84

Is playa used in a non-mocking way?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:14 PM
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81: when used to refer to adults? Pretty good indicator, I've found.

I like "T-Bone," but it tends to confuse people.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:14 PM
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Nah, "big guy" is pretty common and doesn't necessarily indicate an asshole

Okay, now you're trolling.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:16 PM
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87

T-bone was an excellent Seinfield episode.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:16 PM
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88

I'm planning to start using "son" as soon as I turn 40. I may also phase in "toots".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:16 PM
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I tend to call a certain kind of woman friend (LeBlanc's a good example of the type) "woman." As in, "hey, woman."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:17 PM
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Ned, that just isnt nice. Take it back now!!! 40 isnt old.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:17 PM
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Homies, I can think of at least one friend who greets people with "Hey, big guy." Wasn't in a frat, suburban doctor, two kids, nice guy.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:17 PM
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I like "T-Bone," but it tends to confuse people.

Then try "Sir Loin."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:17 PM
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93

My grandpa used to call all women younger than himself "darlin," and I always found it charming. SUE ME.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:17 PM
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At a certain age (NOT 40!@!@!@@!@!!!!!), you can use darlin' or honey or other terms of endearment.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:19 PM
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95

Is the claim that all nicknames not tied to a person's identity are wrong?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:19 PM
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It's revolting that I very occasionally call younger men friends--even the ones I'm not sleeping with--"sweetie," isn't it?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:20 PM
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97

but you will be sleeping with them, right?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:22 PM
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40 isnt old.

40 is the new 17!



Posted by: marcus | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:22 PM
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"Baby g" is another personal favorite, although obviously not in all circumstances.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:22 PM
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Don't use that tone with ME, Marcus [Fill in middle and last name]!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:24 PM
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97: Shockingly, probably not. The current crop seem to have settled into actual friendship.

Horrifying, I know.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:25 PM
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102

Shameful, in fact!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:33 PM
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103

What can I say? Young men are all prudish and shit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:34 PM
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Back when I was a young man, we had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to have sex with Bitch Phd.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:37 PM
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Patently false. Bitch Phd hates snow.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:38 PM
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That is why I had to do the walking.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:38 PM
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103: everybody shits, B. You can't expect us men to be perfectly clean, angelic creatures all the time.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:38 PM
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Look, it's shitting or it's fucking me. Priorities, babe.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:44 PM
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108: one's just not fun without the other.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:46 PM
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A co-worker and I were chatting w/a friendly patron recently. She said that she found people around these parts (northern NJ/NY area) used others' names in conversation more than where she came from (Seattle). E.g., 'Liz, I saw that book and thought of you.' Thing is, she thinks interjecting names makes the conversation seem more formal and standoffish. Liz (my co-worker) and I thought the opposite, that it makes the conversation chummier and more intimate.

What do people here think?


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:46 PM
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111

I think it sounds fake and salesmanish.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:47 PM
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I'm no-name like the woman from Seattle. And I have encountered people who want to insert names in speech more, though I don't associate with an area, or anything else systematic.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:49 PM
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111: it works, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:50 PM
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110: It's sounds smarmy unless it's sold with enough warmth and conviction, in which case it's charming.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:52 PM
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Huh. I like names in conversation. Friendly patron Cassie says there's no need for names: she knows me, I know her. She does often begin sentences with 'Hey', which I find off-putting.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 9:55 PM
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One time I used my friend's name when addressing him and he stopped and said "What the fuck was that about?" It does seem to me alienating among close friends, but I'm sure styles differ.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:00 PM
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I use it as a specifically affectionate thing, although I don't know how that comes off. It's enough of a challenge for me to learn somebody's name, I might as well use it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:03 PM
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Occasionally, when affecting a Cheesy Strate Guy persona, I refer to other dudes/blokes/chaps as "sport," "beef," and my favorite, "Honus" (as in, the dead baseball player). "Big slugger" is also a favorite, but we covered that territory already.

54: I think you meant "smoove," right?

68: I take a completely unironic and probably somehow Southern pleasure in calling little girls "Sweetheart."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:04 PM
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When a dude uses my name, pointedly, in conversation, I assume it means we're going to do it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:06 PM
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Cassie is about 25 yo and tends toward the snarky side. I wonder if there's any age/generational correlation to preferring not to use names.

When she comes in to the library, she might greet me with, 'Hey. How's it going?' I'd much prefer to lose the 'Hey.' and have my name used or even not used.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:07 PM
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Cerebrocrat, you homo, don't make me scroll.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:07 PM
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When a dude uses my name, pointedly, in conversation, I assume it means we're going to do it.

There was more to this question than I thought.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:08 PM
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I've always had a hard time remembering names, mostly because when I meet people I'm so focused on reading their faces I tune out what they're saying. So especially since my daughters inflicted brain damage on me in their infancy, I pretty much don't bother anymore, and just hope I won't have to do introductions at some point.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:13 PM
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hope I won't have to do introductions at some point.

That's easy. You just say, "oh, have you two met?" and then they usually step in and introduce their own damn selves.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:16 PM
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when I meet people I'm so focused on reading their faces I tune out what they're saying

Yeah, I can't remember names when people tell them to me, but have no trouble if I hear them tell someone else. I'm sure the cognitive psych people have a name for this.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:18 PM
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124: I always pick up on this as a dodge.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:18 PM
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126: I'm sure people realize it's a dodge, but it's a graceful way of handling the situation.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:19 PM
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Cerebrocrat, you homo, don't make me scroll.

Damn, Honus, I didn't know you were serious about that shit.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:20 PM
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I just revert to my roots and call all people, of all genders, of all ages, 'hon'. Unless they're close personal friends, then they're my bitches.

Cassie is about 25 yo and tends toward the snarky side. I wonder if there's any age/generational correlation to preferring not to use names.

28, snarky, and yeah, people name-dropping me in conversation weirds me out, possibly because I've never really liked mine.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:21 PM
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possibly because I've never really liked mine.

?!?!? "Rockette" is an awesome name.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:22 PM
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124: That's the basic strategy. Gets tricky sometimes, but most people know what to do. I doubt I could pull it off as well in a less casual part of the country.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:23 PM
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Damn, Honus, I didn't know you were serious about that shit.

Sweetheart, I'm always serious.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:25 PM
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When a dude uses my name, pointedly, in conversation, I assume it means we're going to do it.

Exactly.

I'm sure the cognitive psych people have a name for this.

Not that they covered in my brain disorders class, but maybe it doesn't rise to that level. Language processing is so f'in' weird.

127: I can't even play like I'm dodging. I just try to tell people as clearly and forthrightly as possible that I forget everyone's names all the time, and they should do their best not to take it personally.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:26 PM
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130: Hurr. See, my actual first name is just very unsuited to me, and the standard diminuzation everyone goes with is pornstar-tacular and contrived, to the point of making me cringe. So when people use it they think they're being friendly or whatever, but no, they just seem like douchebags.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:28 PM
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28, snarky, and yeah, people name-dropping me in conversation weirds me out

When I think of name-dropping, I think of using a name to impress someone. When I use someone's name in conversation, I'm not doing it to impress anyone. Although I'd agree that I use a person's name to give the impression that I like the person, to reaffirm chumminess, etc. (among other reasons), but that's a different kind of impression.

If there is an age/generation/snark/nameless policy correlation, I now wonder if it's bc there's no room in snarkitude for expressing chumminess, likeability, etc.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:32 PM
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I suffer from the name problem. My dodge is to find somebody whose name no one could possibly forget (professor, boss, ridiculously hot girl), and pretend to forget their name. That way, when I forget someone else's name, they figure I'm autistic and don't feel so bad.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:32 PM
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Aw, see, I don't feel so bad if it's someone whose name I have no obvious reason to remember, but if I'm flirting with a dude, have a rapport, etc., and it turns out our mutual friend had the wrong name for him, it sucks to pointedly say his name and get a funny look, like, "Oh, I thought you liked me, but obviously, you don't."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:34 PM
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there's no room in snarkitude for expressing chumminess, likeability, etc.

What? Of course there is. People do it here all the time.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:34 PM
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134: I hadn't thought of "fun bags" as a dimunization, per se, but yeah, it's kind of porny.

Also who else is playing the "guess Rockette's real name by looking up porn stars" game right now?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:35 PM
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Rockette, your real name is Candee?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:35 PM
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Is the class really called brain "disorders?"


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:36 PM
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137: I see your point, Moon Unit Zappa.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:37 PM
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135: When I think of name-dropping, I think of using a name to impress someone.

Yeah, I was just abusing the phrase to sum up "using my name in conversation in a casual but pointed way", basically because I suck at words.

What? Of course there is. People do it here all the time.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a good four friendships of mine where the entire relationship is based around giving each other good-natured cheap shit.

140: [Redacta].


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:37 PM
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141: yup. Why?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:38 PM
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What? Of course there is. People do it here all the time.

Maybe you're not all as snarky as you think you are.

But, yes, ogged, I expressed myself badly. I think what I'm trying to get at is if there's any kind of link between the harshness of snark/very pointed conversation/etc. and avoidance of using others' names.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:38 PM
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Lunar Rockette is just a font of great new (to me) words. First there was "endonged," and now, "pornstartacular."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:39 PM
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[Redacta], for real? That's totally awesome. You should play it up, woman.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:39 PM
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134: Easy solution: insist everyone use your "street name." I recommend "shadow" or "fade", but really you can choose anything if you're pushy enough about it.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:40 PM
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'Endonged' is great. For some reason I saw this and thought to modify it to 'overly endonged'.


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:40 PM
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Should 143 be redacted, or is Rockette either (a) lying or (b) not as paranoid as the rest of us? Awesome, either way.

If (b) is the case, Rockette, I promise to only call you "Arla."

Following from that, I also promise to keep bugging you to sing that song about Al's Restaurant, but that's neither here nor there.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:41 PM
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When I think of name-dropping, I think of using a name to impress someone.

Yeah. People name-dropping me in conversation weirds me out.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:43 PM
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is Rockette either (a) lying

I hope so. It would be depressing if someone with a 'nym that clever turned out also to have cool name.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:44 PM
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144: It just seems like a funny expression to me. "Brain diseases," "brain damage," or "cognitive disorders" I get, but a "brain disorder," I don't know what that's supposed to mean, exactly. Eh, not important. It just struck me as weird.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:45 PM
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Uh, yeah that's really my name, and, uhhh... I guess probably redacting would be good? But really, I'm pretty sure I never ever would have been able to have my clearance renewed anyway and at this point I'm also damn certain I never want to work in an industry that requires it again, so whatever.

146: This is because I am like autistic or brain-damaged or something, and am actually really horrible at words, and often end up going off the description deep-end when trying to come up with a perfectly normal word or phrase that would be readily apparent to anyone whose brain actually worked properly. But, um, woo!


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:46 PM
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Lunar in 129: people name-dropping me in conversation weirds me out

DS in 151: People name-dropping me in conversation weirds me out.

Lunar = DS!


Posted by: Clueless | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:46 PM
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153: Brain Disorders and Cognition was the full name of the class. Maybe because it mostly dealt with lesion-induced conditions?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:46 PM
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Hmm. The name, [excised to allow easier redaction], is tough to dimune. Starrie works, I guess. You could go the russian route and come up with a nickname completely unrelated to the actual name. Or you could go with Estrella, which sounds nice. FWIW I do not associate [excised to allow easier redaction] with porn. I myself have an awkward name, but it is one that I like. I will not give it, but suffice to say it connotes a degree of wealth/social status which I do not have. Still like it though.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:51 PM
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Well, it could be worse. "Star" could be short for "Starfucker."

A non-exhaustive search turns up one pornstar named "Star," one named "[Redacta]," and one named "Starr." Still, they're outnumbered by variants of "Sierra," so I think you're okay.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:52 PM
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I think it's an awesome name.

I had a student once named a version of that, and she was such an ass-kicker that no way in hell I ever even *thought* "porn star" when talking to her.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:54 PM
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It would be different if it was "Misty" or "Chrystal."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:54 PM
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156: yeah, see, I'd call lesioned-induced conditions either brain damage, or cognitive disorders, depending on what I was talking about. But only a developmental thing like Williams Syndrome seems to qualify as a "brain disorder." But, it kind of doesn't matter, and is also boring to everyone else in the thread, so maybe I'll be shutting up now.

Did I mention that while I like to call little girls "sweetheart," I call little boys "sweetback?" It doesn't go over as well with the parents.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:57 PM
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160: or "Candy." Lots of Candys in the porn biz.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:58 PM
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I guess I'm just pissed because many of my female relatives have awesome, ethnically-appropriate names like Agnieszka and Julianna, and I get... something my mom picked out from a Georgette Heyer novel or something, seriously, wtf?


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 10:58 PM
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161: I call little boys "sweetback?"

Can't imagine why anyone would object to that.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:01 PM
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I like the name "[LR's real name]." I have a friend named "Sunshine," and occasionally when I mention this I get some dumbass eyerolling or comments about hippy parents. But I frankly love the name "Sunshine" in a completely unironic way, and I don't see how a name that brings to mind an unambiguously good referent can be bad. I kinda feel the same about "[LR's real name]."


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:02 PM
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Rockette, Redacta is a friggin' awesome name.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:03 PM
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And by "Redacta" I mean your real name; I'm not making a joke. I love it.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:04 PM
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Although "Redacta" would actually be a pretty cool name.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:05 PM
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161: some random .edu calls you busted.

163: eh, that lamb of God stuff gets old. C'mon, you got a Latin name, what're you complaining about? At least it's not Madyson.

One of my favorite things about my name is that not only do I have an accidental namesake (parents didn't know about him, picked same combo of family names coincidentally), I'm related to him on both my mother's and father's sides.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:06 PM
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Man, now if I ever have kids and wind up with a girl, I'm actually going to name her Redacta, in proper perpetuating-the-cycle-of-abuse fashion, and use the same ridiculous excuse my mom used on me at one point when I was bemoaning my name teenagerially: "well, there's a Saint Redacta, so it's fine". Which is not only untrue, but extra retarded considering our household was pretty pointedly agnostic.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:07 PM
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You're inbred, Sifu?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:08 PM
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Yup!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:09 PM
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That's what happens with us WASPs.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:09 PM
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159:
Let's not go overboard here. It's above-average, definitely, maybe even good. It's a damn sight better than "Mary" or "Samantha." But awesome must be reserved for the truly awesome, like Gwyneth or Genevieve. For guys, awesome is Adrian or Simon.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:11 PM
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If I ever have kids I will name my firstborn null character. This is why no one should have sex with me.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:14 PM
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170: Alternatively, you could explain to her that she was named after a sophisticated automation tool for easy interfacing.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:14 PM
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One of the kids at the daycare where my sister works is named Loricious. There are some other kids with interesting names, but I can't think of any right now.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:15 PM
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Dude, Gwyneth? Take your pug and your artisanal wallpaper and get out of here, hipster.

Also Adrian, while okay, is hardly the be-all-end-all of male names. That is reserved for names like "Truck" or "Maimonides."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:15 PM
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the truly awesome, like Gwyneth or Genevieve. For guys, awesome is Adrian or Simon

???


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:15 PM
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well, there's a Saint Redacta, so it's fine

See, I got so irked when my CCD teacher said that there had to be a Saint B., because every child was named after a saint. I've always liked my name because no one else (not literally, but almost) has it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:15 PM
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"Adrian" is in the same register as "Nigel."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:16 PM
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I tried to convince my friend to name his kid Menelaus, but he had a girl. I don't think he was going to do it anyway, to be honest.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:16 PM
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I have a very close friend who was insistent on naming her son "B/axter B/arnabus." We managed to talk her out of it, but our pleasure was short-lived, as her plan B turned out to be "M/erlin K/ermit." Kid seems to be doing okay, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:18 PM
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I've kind of realized that all the names I like for kids have the same consonant sounds as PK's name. It's kinda weird.

Anyhoo, Rockette has those same sounds, so I'll put it on the "possible girls names" list unless Rockette feels all possessive about it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:19 PM
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183: She should name her second son "Thurman Merman."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:19 PM
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167: Heh, thanks. If my mom wasn't back at her hotel and probably asleep by now, I would convey your approval to her. And then she'd use it for the rest of time as proof against me, "see, what are you complaining about? Even that internet person liked it! And he was Iranian! Even Iranians like your name! You complain too much!"


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:20 PM
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Oh, I totally love the friend in 183. Merlin and Kermit are both pretty cool boys names, despite lacking my preferred consonant sounds.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:20 PM
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"B/xter B/rnabus" is a great name combo, Tweety, what's your problem?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:20 PM
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If I have a son I'd give serious thought to naming him Hanuman.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:20 PM
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187: I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'd say that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:21 PM
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Hanuman is awful. Obviously you should never have children, Tweety.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:21 PM
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Merlin and Kermit are both pretty cool boys names tantamount to child abuse

Fixed.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:22 PM
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190: That's because they are. And I'm always right.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:22 PM
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184: Not at all, especially since I've discharged my duty and warned you of the potential pitfalls ahead of time. Also, on the Saint. B thing: I've heard this happening to other people. Seriously, people, the Church was kind of bad before they put in all the processes for this stuff, but they weren't pre-cognitive or anything.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:22 PM
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DS is also not allowed to have children.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:22 PM
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191: Hanuman rules. Is it my fault more Americans don't name their children for mischevious Hindu deities? Plus, if Star Wars was still cool his friends could call him "Han."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:24 PM
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Look, seriously. The problem with Kermit is that we all associate it with the green frog.

But Jim Henson is dead, people, and there are tons of kids shows out there. These days, the window for Sesame Street exposure ends when they turn like three or something. Kids aren't going to have that association, the way we do, so fuck it.

And anyway, having a cool name that no one else has is, um, cool.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:25 PM
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I'm trying to puzzle out what PK's name is. So far I've come up with "Ralston."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:26 PM
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197: Elmo it is, then.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:26 PM
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198: If you email me, I'll tell you.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:27 PM
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"Listeria" would work, but I guess that's a girl's name.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:27 PM
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And no, it is not "Loser."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:27 PM
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200: that's no fun.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:27 PM
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I'm pretty sure that PK's name starts with the first syllable of a famous shrubbery, and ends with the abbreviation for a famous state. But maybe I am on crack.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:28 PM
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Perhaps "Luster?"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:28 PM
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Er, famous state s/b Southern state.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:28 PM
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204: Rhodestralny?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:29 PM
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Kermit is okay. This Kermit is definitely okay. Kermit and Merlin together? I think not, especially if the family name is something like Sherman. Kermit McDermott? Maybe.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:29 PM
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Oh, Rhodestralno.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:29 PM
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204: Nope.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:30 PM
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208: I just worry they're setting him up for a life in Mime.

I joke, he's a great kid. Very smart, as you might hope.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:30 PM
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I'm trying to puzzle out what PK's name is. So far I've come up with "Ralston."

It could also be "Lester". Or "Törless".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:31 PM
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I should admit that I have misled you somewhat--PK's name has two of the three consonants in Rockette. The one that's the easiest to slur, it lacks.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:31 PM
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I've mentioned before that my great-grandfather's name was Orange.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:31 PM
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Oh, okay, then: I was thinking "Mulva", which is a seriously awesome-ass Southern name, aside from the "rhymes-with-vulva" part.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:32 PM
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I know PK's name and "Rockette has those same sounds" makes no sense to me.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:32 PM
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Okay, you like "Mulva" and you reject "Rockette."

Clearly you are insane.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:32 PM
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214: did he have a William?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:32 PM
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To all the Gwyneth/Adrian haters: aesthetics are personal. I tried, in naming my hypothetical children, to a)give them cool names, and b)protect them from humiliation. I even considered nicknames for them, though, now that I think about it, only for the girls (gwyneth= gwen, genevieve = jenny). I'm sure the proper authorities will be along shortly to explain my misogyny. What young adrian's going to do I don't know, but I expect he'll learn to fight like I did, only, in a boy named sue type of way. Like I said, aesthetics are personal, and if you think it's a good idea to name your son "Rainbow" I will not interfere.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:34 PM
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216: Does "Redacta has those same sounds" make any more sense?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:34 PM
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216: I think she means Rockette's real name.

218: Nope, only daughters. They had cool names too, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:34 PM
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PK's name has two of the three consonants in Rockette

Three?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:34 PM
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I think she means Rockette's real name.

Then it makes even less sense.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:35 PM
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The trouble with "kermit" is that it rhymes with "hermit" and sounds vaguely like "erma." You might as well name a kid "target."

The trouble with "merlin" should need no explaining. (And "hanuman" too, for that matter.)


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:35 PM
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I note that she hasn't said no to 212 yet.

Törless is an awesome name for a child.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:35 PM
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217: Clearly you are insane are a language-retardo and have no idea how to process what blocks of letters make which sounds and are signifi WORDS WORDS LOL.

Fixed.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:35 PM
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I tried, in naming my hypothetical children, to a)give them cool names, and b)protect them from humiliation.

In my experience, your (b) tends to be hugely overrated by most people.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:36 PM
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Aha! PK is named "Tork."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:36 PM
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BTW, OT: Magpie and I made it out to meet Heebie and her boyfriend today... where the fuck were the rest of you slackers?

(If we ever do another meetup at the Exploratorium, we have to plan a bit better; sadly the Tactile Dome was sold out by the time we got there.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:37 PM
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There's a K now? In that case it must be "Kratos".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:37 PM
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aesthetics are personal

This is a common misconception. Actually, aesthetics are either objectively good (mine) or objectively bad (to the degree they deviate from mine).

That said, I didn't mean to suggest that "Adrian" is "boy named Sue" territory. For that, you need M/rlin K/rmit.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:37 PM
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223: She seems to be miscounting the number of consonants in Rockette.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:37 PM
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In a perfect world (and I mean literally perfect, in every possible way), PK would be named "Telstar."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:38 PM
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229: Magpie and I made it out to meet Heebie and her boyfriend today... where the fuck were the rest of you slackers?

Chillin' with my homies mommy (and dad and significant others).


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:38 PM
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169: Cognitive disorders are necessarily brain disorders, and these are increasingly common after middle age. Perhaps the most important of these illnesses is Alzheimer's disease

See, that's all I'm sayin'. And you know all they mean by that first bit is "if you can't think right it's 'cuz your brain is fucked up." So don't be starting shit between me and the random .edu.

That's what happens with us WASPs.
And see, here I thought it was the boxing. I may have to rethink.

170: If you have a boy, I should think that "Redactor" or "Redactus" would work.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:38 PM
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Adrian is a fine name. Especially since, I shit you not, the number one boys' name in the US right now is Aidan, to which Adrian is very similar and therefore not tease-worthy at all.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:38 PM
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I'm reasonably sure B's last name is not "Logistics".


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:39 PM
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237 to 233.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:39 PM
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I was thinking "Mulva"

With good reason.

which is a seriously awesome-ass Southern name

Mulva is not a Southern name, it's a Seinfeld punchline.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:40 PM
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235: Or Redacticus!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:40 PM
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Oh, right, I can't count. One fucking glass of wine.

PK's name lacks the T and the R, all right? Fuckers.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:40 PM
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I named a boy in Reno just to watch him sigh.

(Later on in life, that is.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:40 PM
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PK's name lacks the T and the R, all right? Fuckers.

Solon? Nils? Lisa?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:41 PM
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Oh, right, I can't count. One fucking glass of wine.

So by "one", you mean "four"?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:41 PM
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Mulva is not a Southern name, it's a Seinfeld punchline.

I know a Southerner who had it as his middle name, though, is the thing. Also an Alva! But woo, that must have been where I got it.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:42 PM
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In my experience, your (b) tends to be hugely overrated by most people.

Perhaps, but parents should at least subject potential names to some basic tests, such as the switch-the-initials test, which a name such as 'Shiloh Pitt' clearly fails.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:42 PM
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Oh, right, I can't count. One fucking glass of wine.

How many glasses did you think you'd had?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:42 PM
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Stanley?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:43 PM
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I think by way of that crazy maternal-family's-last-names-as-middle-name tradition? Or something similar.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:43 PM
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247 pwned by 244.

245: Seriously? That is all kinds of fucked up. I've known an Alva or two, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:44 PM
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How many glasses did you think you'd had?

Not enough, dammit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:45 PM
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At least one filthy rich Mulva.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:46 PM
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Aha! PK is named Slim.

249: my parents did that, and my middle name is a language. Go figure.

246 is completely awesome.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:46 PM
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Oh, dude, "Slim" would be such an awesome name. Sadly, I never had a man friend call me that, although both Mr. B. and the boyfriend have pretty awesome nicknames for me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:48 PM
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My great-grandfather was named Van Ev/rie. That was his first name, and it's my grandmother's middle name. He was named after John Van Ev/rie, whose historical importance becomes clear when you Google his name.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:48 PM
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Sadly, I never had a man friend call me that

Is that because you're fat?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:48 PM
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250: Yeah, and altogether he had a grand total of three truly awesome personal names, none of which would normally parse as actual names. [Redacted] Mulva [Redacted] [Redacted]. He was known as "Beck", which was a diminutive of [Redacted] no3, which was, um... his grandmother's maiden name, I think?


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:49 PM
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256: No, it's because I'm a broad.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:51 PM
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255: Holy shit.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:52 PM
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You could go the russian route and come up with a nickname completely unrelated to the actual name.

Go by Sonechka.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:54 PM
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Ooh, yeah, I like "Redacticus." And also "Hanuman."

Also: 214: did he have a William?
I feel like this could belong in so many other threads besides this one. Of course HE had william.

197: True story - Jim Henson bought the house next door to my parents, and disappointed the neighborhood by dying before the Christmas party.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:54 PM
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255: well that's fun. You should change your name to that, too!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:54 PM
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dying before the Christmas party

What an inconsiderate asshole.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-07 11:56 PM
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What an inconsiderate asshole.

I know, right? All of a sudden, "viral infection."

Pussy.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:02 AM
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I know, right? All of a sudden, "viral infection."

Shoulda ate dirt viruses.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:03 AM
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Obligatory link to highly affecting Jim Henson discussion from the golden age of Unfogged.

And the strip being discussed is available.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:03 AM
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All snark aside, I actually know the perfect name for a newly born man-child. Unfortunately, I cannot reveal it, because it happens to be my own, and my enemies are just waiting for me to slip up. I will however offer the pregnant a few choice names: 1)"Justin": He built the Hagia Sophia and was a shrewd son of a bitch.2) the aforementioned "Simon": What washington did for a few coastal colonies, mr. bolivar did for a continent. He was a political badasss without equal.3)"Jeremy" Not only did Mr. Bentham define utilitarianism, but he predicted the existence of the hedon, upom which unfogged is based.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:06 AM
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267: You realize those are all fairly common names, right?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:07 AM
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If Jim Henson had tongued his mother's ass, he would still be here today.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:08 AM
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266: you know, I was just thinking that the pedophilic analingus discussion was okay by me, but the levity about Jim Henson dying was, like, a little much. Still bums me out.

Probably for the best he didn't live to see Frank Oz fall in with Al Qaeda, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:11 AM
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Wait, is someone actually pregnant?

Anyway, I am enough of a pathetic nerd I would totally name a girl Samus, but most people would think I meant 'Seamus' and/or was functionally retarded.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:13 AM
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I am pregnant … with possibility.

The question, LR, is if you would give your hypothetical daughter the middle name "Aran".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:14 AM
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I would totally name a girl Samus

Okay, that's dorktastic.

On the other hand, it would completely absolve your mother.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:16 AM
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Fuck yes!

Except that I realize, you know, it's the same as all the pre-LORT-movies Arwens, and I'm not that cruel.

But still. Tempting. "Zelda" is too easy.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:16 AM
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"absolve" s/b "perform analingus on"


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:16 AM
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271.1: like half my friends in LA, but nobody currently commenting here as far as I know.

271.2 oh geez. I'd go with Zelda, even though she was a bit of a wilting lilly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:17 AM
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Correct, "Zelda" is too obvious. "Gwaelin" is a cool name, though.

And for a boy, "Magidrakee".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:17 AM
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274: pre-LORT-movies

I should just give up correcting my own typos in subsequent comments, and start posting under'WORDS WORDS LOL'.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:18 AM
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Further pathetic videogame nerdery: I actually really like the name 'Rinoa', and am slightly aggreived that some Japanese dude working for Square had to come up with it first.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:19 AM
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Ouch. Cruelly pwned.

I admit there's not a whole lot of options. Trillian?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:20 AM
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Dear god, and just a little while ago there were people objecting to "Kermit."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:21 AM
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There are plenty of Katamari Damacy characters to name kids after, too. "Kuro"..."Opeo"..."Lalala"..."Beyond"..."Afro-mania"..."Loud Momma"...


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:21 AM
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I'm not actually insane enough to ever inflict any of these on my hypothetical children, I should point out. Probably the farthest I'd go would be Maxwell, which has dual utility but would probably be assumed to be yet another "Mackenzie" variant.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:26 AM
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Except that I realize, you know, it's the same as all the pre-LORT-movies Arwens, and I'm not that cruel.

There's a Metroid movie?

Further pathetic videogame nerdery: I actually really like the name 'Rinoa'

Pronounced like "quinoa"?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:26 AM
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227 makes a point: [protecting children from humiliation] tends to be hugely overrated by most people.

Has anyone or anyone's child really been made fun of for their name such that the parent thought, "Wish I'd gone with 'Steven'"?


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:27 AM
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There's a Metroid movie?

John Woo optioned it. Sounds pretty awful, but you never know.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:27 AM
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285: This story involves a surname, but I think it illustrates the concern isn't totally unwarranted.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:29 AM
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285: there are certainly plenty of people who change their names to be something more normal.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:30 AM
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288: For example, Sifu Tweety used to be named Pilot Inspektor Tweety.

Okay, I'm going to bed.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:32 AM
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284: Not really, but I don't know IPA so I can't really reproduce it. I think it's basically a really bad romanization of a bad katakana attempt at "Lenore". Which is also pretty cool.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:33 AM
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I know a K/ermit (R/oosevelt). but someone email me LR's [redacted] name, because I'm all curious and shit now.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:34 AM
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The trailer for the Get Smart movie was paired with Harry Potter, which struck me as a bad idea because the trailer trades pretty heavily on familiarity with Get Smart, obviously little kids have no nostalgia for Get Smart, and I'm not even sure how many parents of young children do. Me, my dad really liked it when he was a kid so I saw it on Nick at Nite.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:34 AM
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Oh, yeah, totally, I changed my name to Sifu Tweety Fish so it would be less humiliating.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:34 AM
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Since 291 didn't actually leave a name, you can email [Redacta] to me. I read the whole damn thread, after all.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:36 AM
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291: good point! Kermit brought down Mossadeq. I totally forgot about that. It's not easy being green and/or the democratically elected leader of an oil-rich nation.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:37 AM
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It's pretty easy to figure out. I think 158 gives it away pretty well. (And right about now I'd make a comment on the partial origin of my whole handle as it relates to my full name, but I don't want to give the poor redactors any more work.)


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:39 AM
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Okay okay, email the above if you want to know.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:41 AM
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Ah, I was working off 150. 158 narrows it considerably. Cool! First star I see to-na.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:43 AM
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Oh god no. You have no idea how much I was tormented with that song as a kid.


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:44 AM
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Oh. sorry. I'll go to bed now. 300!, sigh.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:46 AM
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299: I can imagine the concept of a star bra weighed heavily on the mind of a certain kind of kid.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 12:48 AM
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289: Sifu Tweety used to be named Pilot Inspektor Tweety

This suprised me. Given 253, I was expecting Sifu Esperanto Tweety (or, noting his mathleticism, Sifu Fortran Tweety).


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 2:15 AM
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re: names

I've mentioned before, a childhood friend of mine went to a progressive private school, he had classmates called C/loudberry and L/eofwin, among other things. I suspect the only reason they even lived into adulthood* is that they lived in some bourgeois hippy bubble.

* they had that infuriating type of bad behaviour that comes from being set no boundaries while simultaneously being isolated from all consequences of their behaviour, so, names aside, they were in pretty dire need of a kicking ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 3:51 AM
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I have some friends who named their kid Hanuman. I'm sure my impression of the name is colored because he's an awesome kid, but, well, now I think it's an awesome name.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:14 AM
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I used up the name of a Samoan warrior goddess on my dog, explicitly so I wouldn't be tempted if I had a daughter. It's a really pretty name, and the associated myths are great, but it was too weird to inflict on a kid.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:31 AM
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Nathan, have you ever read John Nichols' New Mexico trilogy? Specifically the two volumes beyond The Milagro Beanfield War? (Which I assume everyone here has read, right?).


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:34 AM
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hmmm I'm beginning to wonder whether Adolf Buonaparte Davies was all that good a choice for my daughter.


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:43 AM
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New Mexico trilogy

I haven't read any of them. In fact, I'm not sure I've even heard of them, so I think your assumption fails...


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 6:02 AM
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C'mon d^2, we know you called her Hermione!


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 6:28 AM
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This began as a swimming post, sort of. So this isn't totally off-topic.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 7:38 AM
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At a certain age...you can use darlin' or honey or other terms of endearment

If you live in the South and are employed in the food service industry, you can call everyone darlin'.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 7:40 AM
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I thought The Milagro Beanfield War was kind of overrated; I didn't know there were more books.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 7:55 AM
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and are employed in the food service industry

I'm not sure this is even a necessary condition.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:01 AM
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Reading this thread post-reduction, nothing you people say makes any goddamn sense. Of course, that could have been true pre-redaction...


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:33 AM
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I read it post redaction, and I believe Lunar Rockette's name to be that of the heroine of Great Expectations (or some minor variant therof).

I could be wrong, but I'm certain.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:39 AM
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I was thinking of the wife and muse of Aldo Leopold, E~ Luna Leopold, daughter of an old New Mexico family, of Marrano origins. An important person to environmentalists of a certain vintage.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:44 AM
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315: I thought that first, but then I came to the conclusion that it's "giant ball of flaming gas* in outer space" + "the French word for 'the' (feminine)". If so, I didn't even know it was a name.

*but even in our world, that's just what it's made from

Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:45 AM
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317 is right!


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:50 AM
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Wow. That's neat. Presumably the other two triplets were named after the wisecracking waitress from Cheers and the female lead in the Little Rascals.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 8:51 AM
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A while back I met a guy who was originally named "Larry" or something like that. He hated the name and legally changed it to...R/ex.

Okay, then he got married and took his wife's last name. So now he is Re/x Re/d/stone.

Also Adrian, while okay, is hardly the be-all-end-all of male names. That is reserved for names like "Truck" or "Maimonides."

Balthazar.


Posted by: alif sikkiin | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:05 AM
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315, 317, 318: Thanks! I have achieved Lunar illumination.

R/ex Re/d/stone is an awesome name. Surely there is a character in Left Behind or an Ayn Rand novel with that name.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:11 AM
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I was thinking comic books. That's a 'millionaire playboy RR' or 'international fashion photographer RR' kind of name.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:13 AM
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I believe technically they are all the same genre.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:22 AM
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313 - the northern equivalent of "darlin'" being "hon".

At one place around here the woman calls everyone "dear heart". It sounds really strange.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:26 AM
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Notoriously, in the rock-hard Yorkshire town of Sheffield, they all call each other "love", including hairy-arsed welders talking to one another[1] in the pub. It got edited out of the film "The Full Monty" apparently because it just sound so fucking weird.

[1]I suppose they work in sunrise industries these days and may have shaved their arses accordingly.


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:41 AM
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speaking of wingnuts, I did enjoy this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFGit_tZDqs


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:49 AM
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It sounds pretty odd to hear men call each other "mate", too, dsquared.

"Big guy" and "champ" are homoerotic in a more manly, celebratory way.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 9:53 AM
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We have a winner in "Balthazar Truck Maimonidies".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 10:18 AM
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In Glasgow the epithet of choice is usually 'ya [anatomical and/or pejorative noun]'.

'Awright Billy, how's it gaun, ya cunt?'
'Shug, ya fat fenian basturt, no seen ye for ages. How's yer ma?'


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 10:21 AM
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I was thinking of the wife and muse of Aldo Leopold, E~ Luna Leopold, daughter of an old New Mexico family, of Marrano origins. An important person to environmentalists of a certain vintage.

Interesting. The restaurant from which I took my moniker is in Los Lunas, NM, which is named after that family (hence the masculine pronoun).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 10:23 AM
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"pronoun"s/b "article"


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 10:24 AM
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258: Slim Keith begs to differ.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 1:47 PM
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I thought The Milagro Beanfield War was kind of overrated.

I guess that depends on what you were looking for. I found it laugh out loud funny.

I didn't have time to check earlier, but it's in the last of the trilogy The Nirvana Blues that we find hordes of people in what seems to be Taos having gone over to Hanuman worship.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:00 PM
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It was funny, but I felt it was pretty dated (some parts were just so seventies) and not really a very accurate picture of NM (e.g., the way he keeps using the word "Chicano" as if it's the standard term for NM Hispanics). It's a good book with some memorable characters, to be sure, but I didn't think it really lived up to its reputation.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:37 PM
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And yes, Chamisaville is a very lightly fictionalized Taos.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 5:39 PM
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If you want dated, try the other two volumes. They are absolutely 'of their time.' And they're very different stories -- you can read any one completely independent of the others.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 7:43 PM
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Charley:
I am thrilled to hear that they made a book out of the movie. I hope they didnt dumb the book down.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 07-23-07 7:46 PM
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325 is quite true, although occasionally a hairy arsed web 2.0 designer will condescend to call you "Flower".


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 07-24-07 11:15 AM
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