That hand dryer seems kinda dumb, seeing as how people's hands will touch it and spread cooties. The one true hand dryer video is here.
But that hand dryer still operates on the old paradigm of using hot air to dry the hand. This new hand thingy transgresses the paradigm by using fast air to blow the water off. Innovative!
I've seen and used those at an airport somewhere (not Gatwick). You have to be very careful to keep your hand from touching anything, but it's possible. I prefer more conventional ones.
The old paradigm allowed this, which must be allowed to go out of the world.
I may have used another brand's version of the same kind of thing; I haven't been in the UK for a while.
which must be allowed to go out of the world.
Agreed.
Poetry vs. hand dryers? Unfogged says...
Hand dryers, hands down!
That poetry was in translation, dear boy. A true æsthete would never deem oneself capable of appreciating poetry in translation.
Cogg old bean,
I see your laudanum dependency has started to affect your ability to write comprehensible English. Confining ourselves initially to the more mechanical confusion into which you've gotten yourself, I suspect you meant "A true æsthete would never deem himself capable of appreciating poetry in translation". Conceptually, of course, you're off your rocker, because the manifest suggestion of what you've written is that poetry in translation is capable of being appreciated by some, just not by æsthetes. But I suspect that what you really want to say is that one can't really properly "appreciate" poetry in translation at all.
Yours,
Seriously, the poetry was awesome. Want more. Vaguely reminded me of this awesome book. (Out of print, sadly, but I'll bet parsimon could track it down for you.) Daniil Kharms' work can be found here, but the translations in the book read more smoothly.
Also, trailing off into ever more tenuous links to the original post, I'd forgotten in some recent poetry thread to mention the absurdist works of Kurt Schwitters and Hugo Ball. One of Schwitters' poems is featured in the great short film Primiti Too Taa. One of Ball's was the basis of Talking Heads' 'I Zimbra'; you can hear recordings of his poetry recited by Ball himself, as well as others including Marie Osmond, here.
12: Can be found through bookfinder.com for about $20.
13: order a used book on the internet? Are you insane?
Emerson, you Walmartian, I'm trying to drum up business for parsimon.
Having brought together Kurt Schwitters and Opinionated Grandma, I can now say, recalling Simeon, Ich habe genug.
Mr Hat has spoken highly of Kharms in the past.
We've had airblade-style dryers in Japan for years. I like a good paper towel dispenser myself.
I'm trying to drum up business for parsimon
Oh fuck. I see I'm going to have to shut up for a week in order to live that down.
Otherwise, don't need any help, thanks.
The awesomeness of Kharms has come up on this blog before, I think.
The decline of Ben's mental powers has come up on this blog before, I think.
The brain of a grammarian is fragile; to witness it's decline terrible.
Okay, this thread is nothing special, so:
Yuppie foodies, there is a Japanese store near my house selling fresh leaves of this organism for very low prices. Should I take advantage of it? Is this leaf a useful ingredient in any way? Is it used in banh mi, which I was thinking about making?
Those Dyson dryers are also in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul airport bathrooms. They're transcendent. My hands have never felt so airy.
Okay, this thread is nothing special, so:
Cryptic Ned is banned!
My good Mr. w-lfs-n, an æsthete cannot speak for non-æsthetes. Somehow I overlooked the shocking lack of refinement among today's youth.
Has anyone mentioned that this weekend is the 1-year anniversary of the Greatest Unfogged Poetry Thread Evar?
I once had a free yuzu-shiso mojito at a restaurant in NYC whose name I can't recall. It was pretty good.
I once had a free yuzu-shiso mojito
Ben is not just banned, but exiled to Late Night Shots for one year.
The restaurant itself was pretty good too, and had, IIRC, just opened, run by a guy who'd just come from Le Bernadin; they had a long sake list, and a monkfish dish that wasn't placed well in the sequence of dishes in the tasting menu.
Of course Sifu meant to italicize the French expression, "decline terrible."
Mr. w-lfs-n, I had misjudged you; you may be an even greater fop than I.
Ned, you have to understand, this was before I knew anything about anything. Also, I was there with my sister, and free cocktails were one of the kitchen's ways of being nice to her, since the chef was a former colleague of hers. They just brought them to us; we didn't order.
The awesomeness of Kharms has come up on this blog before, I think.
How it pleases me to have tapped unconsciously into the archives.
Shiso is terrific for wrapping, along with lettuce, around egg rolls.
Hmmm...I don't plan to be making any egg rolls.
So it is basically a garnish, yes?
Now parsley mon, she's a garnish.
Poetry is made up solely of anti-hedons.
Why would there be germs on someone's *just washed* hands?
Some people dry their hands without washing them.
They may not have washed them fully. They may have gotten them dirty again on the faucet handle.
49: for the same reason that towels occasionally need to be washed?
You're still going to open the fucking door. People are too germophobic; the likelihood of someone who used the bathroom just before you having antibiotic-resistant tb is fairly low.
B is absolutely right, but I just couldn't stand to say that right off.
antibiotic-resistant tb
Why do people worry about such rare diseases? I thought the concern was with not catching cooties.
I thought the concern was with not catching cooties.
Exactly. Which is stupid.
Shit, I haven't washed my hands since the Carter Administration. Keep 'em nice and dry, though.
But yeah, people are silly about germs.
You just wait; this country isn't prepared for a cooties epidemic.
Why would there be germs on someone's *just washed* hands?
Not so young, still so naive.
The only reason there's gonna be an epidemic is because all those germphobic freaks are busy buying antibacterial soap and the like.
61: Look, *of course* you guys should wash your fucking hands. What I'm saying is that once washed, they're as clean as they're gonna get, and hence the dryer is probably less germ-laden than (say) the door, the table you're sitting at, etc.
Plus, you guys expect us women to put our mouths on your dicks, so getting all prissy about a few germs is really a bit much.
On the other hand, the chances that any given planet would ever have evolved life is very small. Yet here we are, on a planet with life on it. Our very existence depends on that unlikely possibility.
Yet we go into unknown bathrooms and ask "What is the probability that a recent user of this bathroom had antibiotic resistant TB? Very small indeed! Therefore, I will lick the floor with my tongue."
But we are wrong to think that way, because if the law of averages were correct, we would not exist at all.
Conclusion: do not lick the floor of public bathrooms, at least not with your tongue.
Plus, you guys expect us women to put our mouths on your dicks
Not before dinner and movie.
Therefore, I will lick the floor with my tongue.
Um, not so much, no.
But if I dropped a cookie on the floor, I'd totally pick it up and eat it.
I can't remember the last time a man took me to a movie.
expect us women to put our mouths on your dicks
Again, with the pretending that the women are the agents of action.
Plus, you guys expect us women to put our mouths on your dicks, so getting all prissy about a few germs is really a bit much.
True. Your mouths are filthy.
It becomes clearer and clearer why Ogged can't get dates.
Ogged can get a date. Just not with women.
67: Ziegfield Follies down at the Bijou to celebrate the first anniversary of V-E Day?
I have a line for germ-phobes, should they do something annoying: Mankind lived 10 million years on the African savannah. Eating carrion. You think that's going to harm you?
Thereafter, germphobic behavior is concealed from me.
Back on the veldt, no one washed their hands.
I don't recommend use of the line in 74 in connection with oral sex.
74: with an average lifespan of 35, no less! That's nothing to sneeze on.
Charley, maybe you should hang out with people smart enough to note that not growing up with certain germs is what makes them dangerous.
If I dropped a cookie on the floor of a public bathroom, I would not pick it up and eat it. But in most other places I would and do.
Standard classroom example to go with 71: consider the many people who would be disgusted at the prospect of touching a stranger's feet, yet have no trouble shaking a strangers hand. Then consider where the average hand has been in the previous 12 hours.
(This gets a reliably "eewwww" reaction from undergrads.)
The anthropic principle is apparently all that stands between us and a society of compulsive bathroom-lickers, and bitch won't let even that stop her.
I had a high school bio teacher who loved to tell us that fecal matter is EVERYWHERE!
79: Who eats cookies in the bathroom?!?
82: Was this the same teacher that propositioned you for analingus?
80: buried deep within an elephant's rectum, no doubt.
I have no irrational taboo against eating cookies in public bathrooms. Perhaps I was raised by parents less oppressive than yours.
77 -- The extreme phobes might say something like that, and the obvious response is to ask about infant mortality and deaths in childbirth. I'll go to some lengths to get people to stop annoying me.
78 -- I've never said this to anyone who's condition amounts to virgin soil.
87: I can't help it that I didn't start licking ass as early as you did.
86: sometimes people will forget their cookies in the booth and you can snag 'em for free!
88: yes, okay, infectious disease isn't bad for you. Point taken.
88: "who's".
Shouldn't Sifu be banned?
In my household, we've been working hard at building up our resistance. My daughter is not afraid to help the family out by sticking her hands down her pants and them trying to hug people.
Maybe I could get people to pay to increase their germ resistance by spending a week at my house.
Booth s/b stall. Where the hell have I been going to the bathroom?
Note to self: smile politely, but do not under any circumstances shake hands at Unfogged meetups.
But seriously, germophobia is pretty out of control in the US, and it does seem to have some long-term consequences. I have an aunt in Iran who, when confronted by my neurotically clean and germophobic mother, says "Kids should eat dirt!" My mom realizes that her sister is right, but it's too late for us now.
And look what happened to you. Cancer.
Booth s/b stall. Where the hell have I been going to the bathroom?
Fuck -- what did I do with my ballot?
Let's talk about the germs in pools. Jeez, you dont even want to know......
You know, maybe if we did get kids started on ass-licking a little earlier, we wouldn't have such problems with fecal bacteria.
"Lick mama's butthole, sweetie, you don't want to get sick."
93: Carnivals, maybe? Or perhaps the graves of famous assassins?
Escessive cleanliness actualy may cause autoimmune disease. Link at my URL.
104: just so long as those people in the corner definitely ordered the chocolate mousse.
Look, I'm all for developing immunities through earthy living, but there are sinks in bathrooms for a reason, people.
Surely 105 should read "Lick my URL."
No one here has said that they don't wash their hands, Jesus. Chill out.
Jesus is refusing to "go with the flow" in this conversation. I say screw him.
88: "who's".
Shouldn't Sifu be banned?
Someone should.
Do you wash your hands after going to the bathroom, B?
Of course I fucking wash my hands. And I've raised a kid who does so as well.
Jesus this won't be a problem for us, since you've already committed to staying several feet away from the tropical rainstorm of sweat pouring off my body at all times. Maybe we could bow.
In other news, I hate to say it, but Emerson might on to something with his link. I never get colds.
111: We accept Sifu's illiteracy because he can't help it; he's a 30-something undergrad.
113: he washes your hands after you use the bathroom? That's sweet.
Oppressor!
Let him make up his own mind!
He knows the rules: if you don't wash your hands, you don't get to lick mama's butt hole.
Oh for crying out loud. I'm not a germ freak. I just don't want to touch you filthy fuckers, that's all.
I'm kind of horrified that I said that.
Jesus still has not fully accepted his corporeal status -- and ours.
He knows the rules: if you don't wash your hands, you don't get to lick mama's butt hole.
OMG! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. B's clearly going to hell. And not the good one.
This thread has slowed down because you're all calling CPS, aren't you?
Is that why I can't get through? 122, seconded. Unfogged clearly has far too much class.
Tim, you're calling my mom? THANK YOU. Feel free to sleep with her, too--the woman could use a damn orgasm, I'm sure.
you don't get to lick mama's butt hole.
How can you have any pudding if you won't eat your meat?
Oh, and bitch, you do realize that an adult PK is someday going to wonder what Mom was like during her bloggy years, and he will have google?
Jesus Christ, TOO FAR, people.
Ogged stops at the perineum.
Look, analingus jokes I can handle; "your mom" jokes I can handle. But you can't cross the streams.
Ogged stops at the perineum.
Well of course, his mom's all germphobic.
135: There is a history, though.
135: but we must if we are to defeat the Stay-Puft Analingus Germ Man!
135: There is a history, though.
Even the utterly classless B-dub thought that was going too far.
On the veldt, analingus is how children bonded with their mother. It's like grooming for chimps.
140: I'm pretty sure we all know that I go farther than Ben does.
#34: Those yuzu-shiso mojitos are good to drink in a grotto.
I wash my hands after I pee, but always grudgingly. Reading ogged's link may just have made me more enthusiastic about the habit.
But reading Emerson's link makes me wonder if I ought perhaps to be washing them with my urine.
After 119 I may never experience happiness again.
Why? Do you have some policy against washing your hands?
I was never properly incentivized to wash my hands.
Who eats cookies in the bathroom?!?
The big boss at a job I had several years ago. When he wasn't busy running off copies of church flyers on the state-owned Xerox machines, he would reportedly take his bag lunch into a stall and settle in for the duration. No word on whether this was with or without pants.
Wait, you mean that was a rhetorical question?
A friend had a co-worker who sat on the crapper munching hard-boiled eggs. The guy suffered from late-stage alcoholism (colloquially "water brain".) This incentivized my friend to go into recovery.
Searching for "water brain" gets me a lot of links on hydrocephaly. Did the man have an enormous head, or are you talking about something different?
A friend suggested to me that the idea of flossing while shitting is even more horrible and disturbing than the idea of eating while shitting. What do you think?
152: I think, "What is wrong with you people?"
I googled too. The term may be used only within the alcoholic community. As I remember, talking to oneself, a blank stare, and shuffling around aimlessly are among the symptoms.
153: We don't do these things, we just contemplate them and shudder. But I suppose doing that might count as having something wrong with one, too.
152: I think that this is precisely the kind of thing that explains why inquiring into other people's crapping is a bad idea.
152: No, the eating/shitting combination is worse. What would make flossing gross alongside shitting is what makes it gross all on its own.
Flossing what? Flossing how? Flossing who? Flossing... why?
Eating while shitting isn't gross.
Surely this guy has been linked here before w/r/t flossing.