Re: Weirdest Sounding Sentence I've Agreed With Today

1

Mmmm. Tillamook cheddar would make a damn good bomb.

Awhile back I saw the USPS's tips for identifying bombs. They were completely ridiculous. They assumed that bombers are cartoonish anarchists who write in crayon using all caps and crisscross tape randomly across their packages. I don't think that there was a single useful tip on the list.

One research MD-PhD asked his secretary to open all his mail during a bomb scare, letting her know why he was asking that Not all smart people are clueless, but that one was.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 2:50 PM
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Freaky.

But this is one of the things that I don't really understand about Schneier. Contrast his reaction here with his reaction to the Mooninite bomb-scare in Boston a while ago. He pretty much lambasted the BPD for reacting in the way they did -- shutting down roads and calling the bomb squad.

When that first went down, I remember thinking, "Sure, they were wrong, and it was just an advertising prank. But I want my police force to not be in the habit of deciding, on the fly, what is and is not harmless electronics attached to the undersides of bridges. Let's err on the side of simplicity here, I bet someone like Schneier would agree."

And then I went to the edition of the Cryptogram where he talked about it, and ... no, he didn't.

Weird.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 2:50 PM
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He just wants them to use their judgment, and for their judgment to be exactly like his.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:01 PM
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Maybe we should build an army of Schneierbots to staff the TSA.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:03 PM
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He just wants them to use their judgment, and for their judgment to be exactly like his.

Then they should write his judgment down on an index card and keep it in their wallet.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:09 PM
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|- The TSA is incompetent, and makes us all less safe.

|- The police should be able to recognize LED displays as not-bombs.

|- Security is hard.

|- Cryptography is cool.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:11 PM
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I think it's

React to what is suspicious, ignore what is not.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:13 PM
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"|-" s/b "⊢" of course. Should have looked up my Unicode first...


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:14 PM
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7: "God grant me the courage to react to what is suspicious, the self-control to react to what is not, and the Schneier-like prescience to tell the difference."


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:14 PM
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I still prefer my Schneierbot idea.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:15 PM
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He just wants them to use their judgment, and for their judgment to be exactly like his.

Don't we all, really.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:21 PM
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Nazi.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:23 PM
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I still prefer my Schneierbot idea.

Schneier may be a hot member of the press, but we have no time for write-in campaigns.


Posted by: Cryptic NEd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:24 PM
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There's always next year.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:25 PM
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Haters.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:26 PM
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12: No, no. My judgment is objectively anti-Nazi. If only the Nazis were more like me, there would be no evil in the world.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:31 PM
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Ogged is the real Nazi.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:34 PM
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You're forgetting that Ogged and his brethren are all lactose-intolerant, making their posession of cheese even more suspicious.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:35 PM
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Actually, Ogged was bringing that cheese to the meetup for us all to share.

Sorry about that, Ogged. We'd promise to write you in Gitmo, but, well, you understand.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:40 PM
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>> He just wants them to use their judgment, and for their judgment to be exactly like his.

> Don't we all, really.

The final unexpressed premise in 3 and 11 is "And for me to be right about everything all the time."


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:44 PM
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"Aryan" = "Iran". True fact.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:45 PM
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Wow-- why so hostile? Schneier fairly consistently argues for explicitly discussing tradeoffs between security and freedom. He posts details on how the security apparatus botches things in ways that benefit no-one but themselves. Reason, openness, serious topics-- so he's not funny. There is no shortage of occasionally insightful but ridiculous egos for mockery.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:47 PM
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I believe that lactose-intolerant people can eat cheese. But force Ogged to drink a glass of milk, and he'll swell up and turn purple like a prune.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:50 PM
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The final unexpressed premise in 3 and 11 is "And for me to be right about everything all the time."

Unexpressed by Schneier, maybe.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:51 PM
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23: Come to think of it, I think he did eat at least one chocolate chip cookie at the meetup, and they probably contained some milk.

Hope I didn't poison you, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 3:52 PM
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I was wondering what Schneier would think of this case. I mean, who doesn't think that this is people being on the stupid side of smartassery?

Tillamook is way too good to be used for bombs. Burritos, maybe, but not bombs.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:02 PM
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The real tipoff that it's a liberal terrorist is the bottle of wine accompanying the brick of cheese, especially if the bottle has a cork rather than a screw cap, and above all if the cheese is not cheddar.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:14 PM
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27: You know, a lot of good wine comes in screw cap bottles these days.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:17 PM
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Us old guys refuse to believe that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:19 PM
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29: it's true; blame the cork shortage. Of course, a lot of nasty wine still comes with a screw cap.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:21 PM
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especially if the bottle has a cork rather than a screw cap

They're not supposed to. An old winemaker told me so.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:21 PM
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28: But vinyl-lined cardboard boxes are still a clear marker of quality.


Posted by: DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:24 PM
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The old ways are fading before my eyes. If I drank wine I'm not sure that I'd want to continue to live. Thank God they still make Hamms.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:26 PM
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32: no, that's out too. Wine sits better in one of those than in a half empty bottle. I've seen some pretty decent stuff in boxes in France.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:28 PM
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33: It's the beer refreshing!


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:36 PM
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I dunno about a cork shortage one way or the other, but I'm totally convinced by Bonnie Doon's propaganda, referenced here.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:37 PM
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Soubz is right. I've met a lot of winemakers who concede that screwtops are as good if not better than corks, and one (from a reputable winery) who insists that the best closure is the crown cap. Really good corks, like the kind you pull out of a bottle of Gaja, are really expensive, and inferior ones have been tied to nasty, nasty cork taint. We still use cork, but we've been talking about switching. There are sexy glass closures now, but they require (expensive) special bottles.

Thus endeth the wine-geek lesson.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:43 PM
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It's just a matter of time before they design cork-inlaid plastic caps that you take out with a corkscrew.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:44 PM
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Come to the land of sky blue waters. Why are there so many local shit beers? Old Style in Chicago, Schaefer in St Louis, Rolling Rock in OH/PA.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:45 PM
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36: Bonny Doon is always to be trusted, IME.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 4:47 PM
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39: Why are there so many local shit beers?

Seriously? I hazard to suggest that far too many beer drinking folk like their beer thin and pallid.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:04 PM
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41: It's not about liking. It's simply about marketing. People don't bother to find out what they like; they simply take what's in front of them. Absent an incentive to make the beer good, a lot of brewers won't bother.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:09 PM
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OK, but there's no local soda to speak of, though we live in a fallen world where supersaturated sugar water is the beverage that defines America. Why do local brands persist?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:09 PM
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42: It's simply about marketing.

Mmm, I wouldn't go that far. Certainly marketing plays a role, but so does "drinking what my daddy always had" and such romanticism.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:14 PM
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But surely "drinking daddy's brand" is just marketing once removed.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:15 PM
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Is Bonnie Doon the one making the peach eau de vie? Have you had it, J. McQ?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:18 PM
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Few shit beers are really local. About 10 companies have consolidated all of the local brand names. In a few cases they may have retained the original brewery or process, but often not. Even Henry Weinhard (non-shit beer) has been consolidated.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:21 PM
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And they're all brewed with the tears of children.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:22 PM
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I'll concede that point. Is it always marketing, no matter how far removed, if you're still drinking the brew that's always been at home? Especially if you know better?

I've introduced my parents to far better beer, IMNSHO, and they continue to purchase Corona and Miller.

I'm probably not the best observer of this, given that I live in the land of fantastic beer.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:23 PM
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Some of the cases are false alarms:

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/015833.php


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:23 PM
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drinking daddy's brand
Maybe. Bars are more profitable than restaurants and last longer even with indifferent management. The underage-serving pits of my distant youth haven't changed their signs or probably their distributors' agreements last I checked. It's the simplest explanation. Weird that preference in weak beer is one of the things succesfully passed on; I'd think that it would be just as mutable as clothes or hairstyle or attitude to smoking.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:23 PM
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Is Bonnie Doon the one making the peach eau de vie?

Yes, but sadly, it's only available in California. I will have to taste it vicariously through you, BW, unless one of you Californians wants to arrange an exchange. The more I think about it, the more delicious it seems.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:28 PM
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49: If the reason for that is that Corona's cheaper and/or easier to find, then I'd call that marketing, yup.

My dad's the same way. Drives me batty.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:28 PM
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unless one of you Californians wants to arrange an exchange.

Easily done, you know. I'll give Ben first dibs, if he wants, but I'm perfectly happy to send you a bottle of wine.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:29 PM
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Few shit beers are really local.

Is right. It turns out Pabst bought Schaefer and Heileman (1999), brewing by Miller and AB bought Rolling Rock (2006). Oligopsony.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:33 PM
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53: that Corona's cheaper and/or easier to find

Partly, sure. Also, my dad, in particular, likes simple flavors. He drinks more to be social, than for any particular like of beer.

Commas!


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:37 PM
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54: Thanks -- I'm due to do the same thing with Stanley's roomate as soon as I wrap up this accursed project I've been working on. So give me a day or two, and I'll email you.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:38 PM
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55: Wow, in following the chain of ownership for RR, I learned of InBev.

Shite, that's a big company.

I've recently had the pleasure of Corsendonk (very annoying, flash-based site, BTW). Very nice.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:43 PM
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57: Okay. I'm leaving the state on Monday, though, for three weeks, so you might have to wait until late August for me to be able to follow through.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:46 PM
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Jesus, that sounds like quite a nice eau de vie. Do your tastes run to grappa? And, if so, have you tried Ransom?

A few of the OLCC stores carry it. The muscat is excellent.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:46 PM
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Few shit beers are really local.

Yeah, Iron City is a dying breed. One wonders why it hasn't died already.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:49 PM
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57: Even better. Extra time is always good for me.

60: Love grappa, and I've been wanting to try the Ransom. Perhaps we should meet for a glass, along with any lurkers who might be in Portland. I have long-ago-promised CDs for you.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:51 PM
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Just to follow up on the Mooninite thing from up above: they really didn't look like explosives at all. The difference with the devices he talks about in that article are that they all have some kind of stand-in for the actual explosive material, which is kind of the important part.


Anyhoo, beer. I like beer! People like cheap beer for the same reason they like cheap diner food, I suspect. Familiar, unpretentious, uncomplicated. What the deal is with foreigners who are fascinated by Budweiser (mm hmm) I may never know.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:53 PM
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61: Yeah, Iron City is a dying breed. One wonders why it hasn't died already.

Do you happen to know if they ever resolved the problem of being required to further treat their mash cooking water?

My wife, being a native Picksburgher, has a special place in her heart for pumping Iron.

62: Yes, that would be excellent.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:55 PM
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I've been amused lately that in some circles, Rolling Rock seems to be things that people order at bars.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 5:57 PM
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Those poor, poor people.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:02 PM
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65: It's hip!

Out here, all the hipster types drink Pabst. At least, there are a surprising number of bars that proudly advertise Pabst alongside finer beers.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:02 PM
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Ha, Rolling Rock became hip at the exact moment it was bought and homogenized by a global conglomerate. Just like Pabst. Fashions are so fraudulent.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:07 PM
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Pabst was never very local. It's still my favorite cheap beer. My son grew up on Pabst.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:08 PM
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I drank a lot of National Bohemian in college.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:17 PM
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The Beast is the college drink par excellence. The Beast, and Boone's Farm.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:22 PM
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I drank National Bohemian in college too.


Posted by: joeo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:24 PM
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There was already a cult of Rolling Rock in Columbus in the mid-seventies. Older friend of mine made a point of having half the space in his fridge given over to them. Columbus must have been just inside the region for them. I can remember the ads from when I was a teenager "From the crystal-clear waters of Pennsylvania's Laurel Mountains..."


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:50 PM
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Rolling Rock seems to be things that people order at bars.

Ah, from the urine stained tanks of Old Latrobe (although, as has been pointed out, no longer.)

I like various kinds of "good" beer, but I also enjoy decent, cheap American beer. Not that all cheap beer is decent--people who are drinking Pabst because it's cool are to be pitied--but give me a Schlitz and I'm happy. It's what made Milwaukee famous.

Narragansett is once again local, sort of--it's owned locally, by one of the Nantucket Nectars guys, and brewed in NY (I think.) They're looking into getting a brewery for it in New England, the old one unfortunately having been torn down a few years back. There was an interesting article in the Globe, I think, that I can't find now about it, how they started out marketing to old man bars and using the old slogans ("Hi, neighbor, have a 'Gansett") but were changing their approach.

When I went to Maryland years ago for one of my brother's wedding, I impressed his wife-to-be's family by picking out Natty Bo as my choice when I went to the liquor store. It was mostly the grenade-type bottle that appealed to me--always liked that shape, good for throwing.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 6:57 PM
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Schoenling, the local in Cincinnati, had a small bottle with a wide mouth, sort of like the bottles cream came in back when milk was delivered, called a "Little King" about the size of your grenade, I think. When I first lived in Columbus, there was a big old billboard for it, downtown, permanently painted, not on wallpaper, featuring Honus Wagner. But it had only been forty years then, sort of like featuring Bob Gibson or Joe Namath now. Old but not ancient.

My wife can sing the whole Hamm's song boisterously, starting with "From the land of the sky blue waters,..." She loved the bear as a girl, watching the Cubs with her dad.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 7:04 PM
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74: from the urine stained tanks of Old Latrobe (although, as has been pointed out, no longer.)

Apparently, they're brewing Sam Adams in Latrobe.

Blech.


Posted by: Roamsedge | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 7:56 PM
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I think they're also brewing Sam Adams at Schoenling. Blech.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 7:59 PM
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Sam Adams used to be good, by gum. It really did. Oh, the far-off late eighties, I miss you so. Or, wait, no.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 8:00 PM
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When my parents were in college, Coors was trendy among hip young people in the west (largely because you couldn't get it in the east). Now, of course, it's one of the giant producers of shitty American beer, and also owns Keystone, Killian's and Blue Moon.

Tangentially (since the subject of microbrews hasn't come up yet in this thread), one of the things I'm liking best about being in Albuquerque is that you can get Fat Tire everywhere.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-25-07 11:30 PM
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Few shit beers are really local.

Until Katrina, Dixie was proudly brewed in New Orleans from the effluent of the Mississippi river. But the floods pretty much destroyed the brewery and the brewing was outsourced elsewhere. I have no idea where Dixie is brewed today (or even if, really).


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 7:21 AM
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one of the things I'm liking best about being in Albuquerque is that you can get Fat Tire everywhere.

New Belgium is a brewery I want to root for, but the fact is that I just don't like most of their beers that much. They're not bad, and maybe I would like them more if they didn't announce themselves as trying for Belgian stylings, but I haven't found any of their beers compelling enough to seek them out.

I do like most of the beers that these guys put out.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 7:31 AM
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When my parents were in college, Coors was trendy among hip young people in the west (largely because you couldn't get it in the east). Now, of course, it's one of the giant producers of shitty American beer, and also owns Keystone, Killian's and Blue Moon.

Actually Coors created Blue Moon, maybe 5 years ago? to create a brand-name somewhat-high-quality line of beers.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 7:38 AM
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Leinenkugel in WS and Henry's in OR (especially Henry's Ale) are better-than-average genuinely local beers (not microbrews).

Henry's has been serially acquired, though:

This brewery was family owned until 1979, and during the last 20 years a series of ownership flips and consolidations occurred: the brewery was first sold to Pabst Brewing Company and then to G. Heileman, then became a Stroh product and finally became a brand of the Miller Brewing Company (a unit of the Philip Morris Companies).

The brewery also moved to Tumwater (Olympia) from Portland, but that's still more or less local. The downtown brewery was a landmark and when weather conditions were right you could smell it over a wide area (a good thing!). It's now been converted into a center for cultural shit of some kind, IIRC.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 7:53 AM
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there are some fine local sodas, such as cheerwine, peach nehi. frostie root beer and blue cream soda, etc. mmm, and what's that soda with the girl on the white rock in the stream, sort of a fairy or something? those people make great ginger ale.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 7:55 AM
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Yeah, there are more local sodas than you'd think, though sometimes you have to look. We have Yacht Club and Joe Wold, and I think a couple of others--I know there's one down in New Bedford, just can't remember the name. Yacht Club does a whole bunch of cool flavors, like pineapple and lemon-lime, while Wold sticks to cola, root beer, cream soda, that sort of thing. And both of them use real sugar, which is nice, though I really wish someone would make a diet pineapple soda.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:16 AM
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there are some fine local sodas, such as cheerwine

Mmmmm, Cheerwine.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:22 AM
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Huh, Cheerwine's website is strange.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:23 AM
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Well, I'm glad someone's protecting my right to drink.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:24 AM
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Will no-one speak up for Cel-Ray?

(I certainly won't.)


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:28 AM
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Frakking Yankees.


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:29 AM
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Of course there's also these fine products. Order now in time for Thanksgiving!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:34 AM
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Cranberry soda is good.


Posted by: JL | Link to this comment | 07-26-07 8:37 AM
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