And then, a Great White ate Ogged. The end.
I for one welcome ogged to the New Meatpuppet World.
2: I for one welcome ogged to the New Meatpuppet World our new shark-people overlords.
I built a Skinner Box and trained a rat to puck a lever to get a pellet of food for my 9th grade science project. No electric shocks, though.
Don't insane positions have to be plausible before you can effectively troll with them?
(We now know what Ogged really does for fun -- sneaks around in the dead of night blowing up Emerson's warehouses full of orgasmic mice.)
I have no idea what you're talking about. Seriously.
"Murderers like this very often start out by killing and torturing animals as kids," said Robert K. Ressler, who developed profiles of serial killers while an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation
Speaking of the FBI, how exactly can Fredo weasel out of this?
Who needs to weasel if the DOJ won't enforce contempt of Congress. So he lied -- whaddaya going to do about it?
Although there's all sorts of stuff happening on that front that I'm waiting a couple of days to figure out.
What a great day for science! Another study has uncovered complex emotions in Iraqis. Will wonders never cease?
Ogged is a psychopath. News at 11.
12: I read "contradicted" in that video as rhyming with "indicted", and wondered what sort of new variation they had come up with. Then I realized that I don't actually speak English.
Ogged is a psychopath.
No more than most. Surely you're willing to concede, w-lfs-n, that knowledge of power over others can be pleasant or comforting. Is it such a long jump from that position to ogged's?
rats display evidence of metacognition: they know what they know and what they don't know.
Well, I mean Rumsfeld gave that whole speech about his metacognition skills. I don't know why the researchers would be surprised by it.
Stupid rats can't even speak English. Wah, cry me a river, rats.
When I read that article, I was terribly curious about just what study told us that rats distinguish between good sex and bad sex. What kind of unsatisfying Katie Roiphe scenarios were they engineering for the poor little rodents?
knowledge of power over others can be pleasant or comforting
You mean like having a well-trained dog? I view that as more of a love/respect situation, rather than "Let them hate me, so long as they squeal hypersonically at the thought of me."
They bred a strain of hair-trigger males, then a strain of last-all-night males. The lady rats knew what was up.
21: Conversely, how do you arrange good rat sex? Little rat silk dressing gowns, the finest of food pellets, Barry White on the rat stereo...
22: knowledge of power over others can be pleasant or comforting
You mean like having a well-trained dog?
I think he means like blatantly trolling.
Alternately, Tim was just cruising Ben w-lfs-n for kinky gay sex.
I can't be the only one who feels this strange resistance to being humane to animals
I think you may in fact be.
Brock, note that the a couple of lines above that he writes:
I can't be the only psychopath who feels this...
So: no. Most psychopaths do.
I can't be the only psychopath who feels this...
New rollover text?
Conversely, how do you arrange good rat sex?
If you gotta ask...
You mean like having a well-trained dog? I view that as more of a love/respect situation, rather than "Let them hate me, so long as they squeal hypersonically at the thought of me."
You don't enjoy the idea that Larry Flynt might ruin some Red lives? And don't you think you might like to be in the position to do the same? (Whether you actually would enjoy it is another question.)
This isn't some new trope in the culture, is it? It's pretty much a basic plot point in any teen male action movie, isn't it? Crush my enemies, and let their blood run in the streets, etc.
It would be pretty easy to start prioritizing among rat studies and really raise the bar for what kind of hypothesis you would have to confirm to justify inflicting suffering on rats.
For starters, no experiments that inflict suffering in order to find out about rat suffering, since such experiments logically depend on the assumption that rat suffering is like human suffering.
I would also like to see an end to studies that just amount to filling in a box on a table of established knowledge, the sort of hypothesis that amounts to: "Well, we know this signaling pathway works in everything from drosophila to zebra fish, so verifying that it exists in rats would be a quick publication on my CV."
the thought that they have personalities and inner lives is really troubling
Okay, first, if you'd ever had a fucking pet, this would not be news.
It seem right and necessary that we have dominion over the animals
We are currently the dominant species on the planet, yes. Or were you drawing on some Adam and Eve argument here?
part of me thinks my life is richer because my species is making some other species somewhere suffer
This is a joke. Right?
30: But there's enemies, and then there's rats that just happen to be rats. When I was living in a house with rats, I was cheering for Harley the Terror Kitten as she drove them before her and heard the lamentations of their little rat women, because they were eating my food and making my life difficult. And if I had a cat that would do the same thing to members of the Bush administration, I'd be all for that too. But that's not getting something out of being inhumane to rats that aren't bothering you, just for it's own sake.
32: There you go, perfect example. Rhode Barbar says that he's sure that everyone in the NFL knows at least one person who has attended a dog fighting event. Maybe they just all hang out with psychopaths.
But that's not getting something out of being inhumane to rats that aren't bothering you, just for it's own sake.
I don't think ogged's position is that well fleshed out. Maybe it's closer to the belief that it's preferable to have power over others, and the point of power is to use it.
I swear part of me thinks my life is richer because my species is making some other species somewhere suffer. Not that this is a defensible position, but like I say, I can't be the only one who feels this strange resistance to being humane to animals
This sounds like suffering for the sake of suffering, doesn't it? Hey, we can argue about torture again now!
everyone in the NFL knows at least one person who has attended a dog fighting event. Maybe they just all hang out with psychopaths.
Kind of a special sample, wouldn't you say?
You don't enjoy the idea that Larry Flynt might ruin some Red lives? And don't you think you might like to be in the position to do the same?
But I don't think O's position requires that the disempowered be deserving. I mean, sure, I'd love to have a remote control activating a car battery connected to Cheney's balls (I call it "Enhanced Voting Methods"), but I wouldn't like to have that for everyone, just so that I HAVE THE POWER.
Like, I think a lot of us feel a certain warmth inside knowing that we have astronauts in space. Just a sort of, look what we did. But I don't feel that way about being able to keep tigers in zoos, or Muslims in Guantanamo.
Just for the record, I'd like to point out that the NYT Science section is every bit as awful as the Style section. Maybe worse, depending on your ideological bent.
where's gswift been, anyway?
The Internet Auction Company Who Shall Not Be Named gives a 4 week sabbatical after you've been with the company for five years. I started Monday, and I haven't been on the internet much for the last several days.
No work for a month bitches!
38: I think dog fighting might be mildly common in communities that are poor, African-American, rural, and Southern. I don't know where I get that sense, though.
People thrill to violence. Boxing, NFL, the various mixed martial arts that people here have discussed. Movies, songs, etc. I'm not sure how much beyond that it goes till you arrive at dog fighting (though clearly it's a ways: my position is NFL OK, dog fighting v., v. bad).
Oh, and when we had a mouse problem, I had elaborate imaginings about the mousey response to traps:
"Hey, where'd Joey go?"
"Oh, I think he went out for some pean-" SNAP!
But these fuckers were shitting all over my pantry like Republicans on the Constitution. They had to die.
my position is NFL OK, dog fighting v., v. bad
Just for the record, I'm with Timbot on this.
Anyone else?
42: Sweet. Four weeks of free time to establish man's dominion over the lesser creatures!
Or you could catch up on your reading.
Swift's already lorded it over sponges and earthworms, but the lobsters are proving surprisingly effective at defense....
And yes, it is right and necessary that we have dominion over the animals. No way am I going to worry about animals having personalities and awareness and shit. Barbecue and experimentation forever!
Four weeks of free time to establish man's dominion over the lesser creatures!
10 days or so of it will be in Grand Teton and Yellowstone, where I will establish my dominion over trout with a fly rod.
Where do the trout get the fly rods?
But these fuckers were shitting all over my pantry like Republicans on the Constitution. They had to die.
They crossed the line. They knew the consequences.
And yes, it is right and necessary that we have dominion over the other animals.
I would also like to see an end to studies that just amount to filling in a box
There is lore that the inbred strains of rats used to test
for toxicity are more susceptible to various cancers and autoimmune problems than rats which are not inbred. Here's one study. Looking for this also turned up a paper on strain variation in susceptibility to depression. No mention was made of whether the gloomier rats were given to impulses like rigging the contests devised for them by superior beings.
There's no life so evil that it can't be redeemed with the proper number of rat orgasm tradeoffs.
However, for utilitarian accounting purposes I'm afraid that good rat sex, bad rat sex, and rat jerkoffs all count as one rat util each. It's just too much of a pain in the butt to factor in the foreplay, sweet talk, rat chocolates, rat flowers, etc.
Haven't read the thread, in case someone's already explained this.
53: You don't want to know what I would have done if PK had been eating my food and shitting in my pantry.
Haven't read the thread, in case someone's already explained this.
Surprisingly, not.
What's the rat util of a nice little house in Elgin, ND?
rat chocolates
Chocolate isn't good for rats. They like red wine, though, and will lick it off a fingertip. Cute!
57: You know I have never seen a rat in ND. I have seen mice, but no rats.
56: He eats my food and yells for me to come wipe his ass. And yet, I do not kill him.
60: you still wipe his ass?? I thought that ended a long fucking time ago. Isn't he like nine now? Jesus Christ what have I signed up for with this parenting gig?
You know I have never seen a rat in ND
North Dakota also lacks an NFL team. Not a coincidence.
In Minnesota I've seen barn rats but never a house rat. Also, never a cockroach.
Gophers and squirrels probably fill some of the rat niches.
NYT Science section is every bit as awful
Yes. Gina K should change topic, if she won't just go away. Science News is pretty good, though.
ND is rich in lacks, but it also has wonderful stats on things like education, life expectancy, crime, unemployment, etc.
61: He's six. He does it on his own, but he takes FOREVER because his father taught him to be totally poop phobic, and sometimes he loses his patience and yells for me to come do it so he can stop sitting in the bathroom and get on with making a fucking mess in the rest of the house.
Hmm apparently the Norway Rat's habitat does cover the state. The only other rat is the wood rat which only lives in the badlands.
45, I agree except for the part about the NFL.
Ronde Barber phrased that in an odd way. "knows someone"? That's not a very strong statement. It would be stronger to say that every team has at least one guy who's been to a dog-fighting event. Actually I would have assumed that to be the case, but his statement was more limited.
ND is rich in lacks, but it also has wonderful stats on things like education, life expectancy, crime, unemployment, etc.
You should try and get a job at our tourist bureau.
The Barn Rats would be Rattus N. Rattus R if occuring at all would be in Fargo, maybe Bismarck, mostly because that's where the older multi-floor buildings would be. I think grain elevators are too isolated but I don't know.
Squirrels do indeed contest the Rattus R.'s niche in the roofs and attics, and are just as pestilent in some places.
CJB: You've probably missed my extended ND schtick. Brief version: ND is the America conservatives pretend to want. Las Vegas / Nashville is the America conservatives actually want.
Double B action:
33: We are currently the dominant species on the planet, yes.
The cockroaches beg to differ.
66: and get on with making a fucking mess in the rest of the house.
71: That is why it is tourism. You aren't trying to get people to live here just make them want to visit.
55: It finally occurred to me how similar this concept is to medieval barons endowing a monastery with a sum sufficient to get the monks to sing masses in their honor for a century, or all eternity, or whatever.
71: What a nice and concise explanation.
It is like eco-tourism, but for social cons.
71 ....Las Vegas/Nashville is the America conservatives actually want.
And I assume a faux-roots horror like Gaylord's Opryland Resort represents the pinnacle of their desire.
"See hard-working, frugal, churchgoing Americans in their native habitat! Watch them actually go to church on Sunday! Watch them continue to be married to the same person for decades! Watch them avoid fun stuff with sex and drugs! Watch an 82-year-old-man reroofing his house!"
I'll take a try at it.
"Count the fingers on the farmhands in the bar!"
You aren't trying to get people to live here just make them want to visit.
Oh, but they do want people to move there. Certain people, that is. You can take a quiz to find out if you are northwest ND material. Note that "[t]hose who answered 'no' to any of the questions are taking a very big risk relocating to Northwest North Dakota."
I trust many of you saw this article last year.
Let's all make jokes about Democ-rats, aristoc-rats, and beauroc-rats. It'll be hilarity. Oodles of hilarity.
Wow, is that Emerson in the photo on the side of 80? Bottom photo?
Apparently the Buffalo Commons is continuing to get some notice. A rather different vision of what could become of NW North Dakota (and a lot of the Great Plains.) As I recall quite aggressively ridiculed by those in te areas and states included.
recent breakthroughs in manipulating the rat genome may soon allow the rat to displace the mouse as the geneticist's darling, too.
God, that would be fabulous. Rats are much better behavioral models than mice, and also don't stink or bite nearly as much. Hurry, genome sequencers!
Here's a little rat-sex tidbit that's perfect for this crowd: When rats fuck make love make whoopee, they don't just do it once and go to sleep; they do it several times in short succession and the whole series constitutes a mating session date. Turns out, if you give the rats a hotel suite where the door between the rooms is big enough for the girl to get through but not the boy, the two have different opinions about how soon they should get on with each session. Given the option, the girl will go off into her own room for a while, groom a little, have a breath mint, etc., while otherwise, the oafish dude rat will press himself upon her as frequently as possible until it's all over. And what do you know; the female has a better chance of conceiving a litter of rat pups if SHE gets to set the pace.
Let the men-are-like-this-women-are-like-that generalizations fly!
Oh, and to answer LB's question on how to arrange a successful rat-date: low lights, a comforting odor of familiar urine in the air, and no meowing.
As for the rat study - are they sure they didn't grab some of thiose eco-terrorist Rats of NIMH?
82: No, can't be. There's a woman standing above him in a manner suggestive of a relationship.
Emerson. Not my favorite picture.
Emerson, that's a great picture!
Though I will tell you what people tell me about my own photos when I wore glasses much like that: too big, man, too big, the glasses, they are. Get with the program!
Next you'll be cutting your hair into bangs.
Oh my goodness, JE, you're adorable! That picture makes me want to give you lots of hugs. Possibly because you kinda look like my dad.
"I swear part of me thinks my life is richer because my species is making some other species somewhere suffer."
Ya know, I have read some shit in my day, even this week venturing into Francis Parker Yockey and quasi-Nazi ground. But this is new.
Nietzsche has some descriptive things to say about power and sadism, but not so much prescriptive. De Sade keeps everything on a personal level. He would not approve of the socialization involved in an
epicureanism of xenocide as culture.
Let us play, let us refine. Would it be the number of sufferers, or would we make qualitative decisions on what sort of suffering & sufferers would provide the more exquisite thrill?
This is just so fucking Roman.
The link in 79 actually made me want to think about moving to N. Dakota, a very odd feeling that hopefully will soon pass. The link in 80 is very sad.
90: My new glasses are narrow. The guy at the glasses store refused to sell me big glasses. made me look fat, he said.
89: WTF, Emerson?!!? I pictured you about 40 years older than that. Please tell me that's a photo from the 60s.
I wore glasses much like that: too big, man, too big, the glasses, they are
I have a friend in his late 20's who wears glasses bigger then those. Last time he went to get them updated the person behind the counter asked him if he had a girlfriend. When he said no she asked him if he ever wondered why?
It takes a lot of rat orgasms to offset setting one rat on fire, Ogged. You'll get tendonititis jerking off the little bitches.
93: We did have positive population growth last year. I don't know if NW North Dakota did or not, but the state as a whole did. Believe me you don't want to move to NW ND.
JE's eyes remind me of my brother-in-law's.
98: Believe me you don't want to move to NW ND.
Wait, why? It said I could be a pioneer!
Evil brother in law?
The eyes are the part I don't like. They're not always that tired-looking.
JE's eyes remind me of my brother-in-law's.
What, you can see his eyes behind those damn glasses?
I'm deeply reassured, yet dubious, to hear that glasses salespeople actually offer opinions. Hell of a job, that.
er, Should my eyebrows be above the upper line of the lenses? Even? er, Do these glasses make me look like I have rat-eyes? I don't, I swear to fucking god! er, and these ones are stupid-looking, I don't care what you say, what do you take me for?
Wait, why? It said I could be a pioneer!
Most of the pioneers were smarter than to stop there.
Really, you don't like them?
No, my brother-in-law is very attractive, actually. A veritable hottie. He's totally anal about housekeeping, though, and has trained my sister to fear his wrath.
Surely, John, in the intervening twenty years, you've had the chance to take another picture?
I once bought glasses somewhere where the guy told me how to do it, and the advice has led to many years of being complimented on my glasses.
You want the top of the frame to echo the curve of your eyebrows, and the bottom/side to follow the curve of your cheekbone.
The picture is 3-4 years old.
Relationships and sobriety are the main causes of aging.
3-4 dog years? Isn't your hair white, or did I just imagine that it was at the meetup?
Just the white strip in the middle of my beard.
Shoot, John, I'm greyer than you.
In your case relationships is presumably the cause.
I once bought glasses somewhere where the guy told me how to do it, and the advice has led to many years of being complimented on my glasses.
And you are keeping this advice a secret?
104:
Really, you don't like them?
Are you talking to me?
You mean the glasses, or the eyes? John looks tired, as he said. The glasses, too big.
I like his nose.
(I am talking about John in front of his back; it's the polite thing to do. And I think he secretly likes it.)
103: seriously, is there something wrong with it? (Besides the cold, flat emptiness.)
The picture is 3-4 years old.
Emerson, don't you have a kid who's in his thirties?
You want the top of the frame to echo the curve of your eyebrows, and the bottom/side to follow the curve of your cheekbone.
This makes for a pretty cartoonish image. My cheekbones are angled pretty sharply upward, eyebrows kind of straight, so now I'm wearing triangular glasses.
Heh.
You make shit up, you do.
I second 115. You look like you're about 40 in that picture.
114 -- Other than having the mosquito as the state bird, and the telephone pole as the state tree? Not really.
Is John Emerson really Libertarian Girl? My world is crumbling here, Crazy Not-So-Old Man.
You make shit up, you do.
Strewth. Try it sometime.
seriously, is there something wrong with it? (Besides the cold, flat emptiness.)
Really the cold flat emptiness is probably enough of a reason for most people. Also don't forget windy.
If you want to be a hermit I guess it would be fine.
My son is 33.
20 mph wind at 30 below bothers some people.
What does it mean for the bottom of your glasses to follow the curve of your cheekbone?
How old were you when you had him, eight?
Your cheekbones have an angle. You want to reflect that angle in your glasses.
They don't go in for this sort of thing>/a> in ND, though, and that's something.
You look like a younger version of PZ Myers. Which means his kids are what...near 40.
Show me a picture and tell me angle of the cheekbones. This doesn't make sense to me.
Crap. The thing Nodaks don't do.
Do all the old men in ND look at young as you, Emerson? Is it the fresh air?
131: Emerson actually lives in MN not ND.
123: that wouldn't preclude all the old men in ND looking as young as him, though, now would it?
130: OMFG. Somehow, if possible, it seems even more disugsting because she had been dead and buried for a week.
Wouldn't B's instructions basically describe a parabola?
Show me a picture and tell me angle of the cheekbones.
Ogged? Press your fingers along the sides of your face and feel the angle of your cheekbones.
No?
133: No it wouldn't, but I didn't want to have you working under a false impression.
If you touch your face under your eyes and feel for the top of your cheekbones, you will find them. Then you can run your fingers along the top of your cheekbones. I'm guessing that line is the one B is talking about.
(And the sides of your cheekbones for the sides, obviously.)
133: He would look even younger if he lived in ND. There's a kind of Dorian Gray effect at work there, which apparently has to do with house prices. I've experienced it myself here; when I bought my house very cheaply, I looked much more youthful than I do now that it's worth much more.
135: Well, everyone has different angles.
Ogged, check your email. And don't say I never did anything for you.
(And the sides of your cheekbones for the sides, obviously.)
Now I must protest: there is no side of the cheekbones. They just go into the ears.
Freaks.
Wait, B, did you develop some kind of glasses-fitting diagram? If so, I want in!
Done. You owe me a drink. As does Ogged, but he'll never pay up.
140: I would say the yearly cryogenic sessions would have more to do with it.
I less-than-three you, B. Also, if you do not already have multiple pairs of cats-eyes that basically contain the same curve as the ones you're wearing but extend it, I'll buy you a drink and try and find you a pair, because you totally would look fabulous in them.
I really like the ones you're wearing actually, they're very hip without being obnoxious about it.
I like them too, thanks. The problem with most cats-eyes is that the upward curve on the bottom is too sharp for me, alas. But if I could find the right kind, it would be totally awesome!
147 seems like a truly bad idea. God forbid those get knocked off your face somehow.
Won't someone share these pictures with me? It's coming on new visual aid time, and I could use some glasses that don't look like they belong on a 70-year-old man.
And how does this theory apply to sunglasses, if at all?
Also, obvs, you don't want your glasses to be wider than your temples nor narrower than the outside of your eyebrows.
150: That was my immediate thought. Ow! Fuck!
I think the whole aesthetic point of sunglasses is to make you look like as big of a douche as possible, so it's hard to go wrong on that one.
Huh, the one picture I've seen of B., yeah, cat's-eye glasses, and you know, the thing is, according to the formula, I should wear them too, but I just can't bring myself to it. My cheekbones will have to stand for themselves.
Interesting in some vague, hand-wavy sort of way.
Have we mentioned that glasses are expensive.
151: Okay, but you're the *last*.
152: With sunglasses, obvs, you can go bigger but you still want them to work with the basic bone structure of your face.
(Also, Ogged wears glasses? Surely only in the same way Clark Kent wears them.)
I want new glasses AND new contacts, time to make an eye appointment.
Surely only in the same way Clark Kent wears them.
Yeah, I'm constantly stumbling over stuff and making awkward chit-chat.
157.1: Aw, darn. It sounds like I have the basic idea, anyway, if only I could be counted upon to recognize when I had it right in practice.
Well, rfts, I don't even have your email addy. So.
obvs
addy
The fact that you're providing a service to the nerd community doesn't mean that you're off the hook for IMifiying the comments, B.
I thought you didn't have any cheekbones anyway. Therefore any glasses would be equally good.
First Emerson turns out to be forty, now ogged wears glasses. Anything else, kids? B--are you a man pretending to be a woman?
I like my retro hat to echo the shape of my nonexistent cheekbones.
163, "obvs" is more taken from Bridget Jones's Diary than from anything else.
Oh, B! Me too! Email activated. Please!
160: <supderdickery reference goes here>
I think the whole aesthetic point of sunglasses is to make you look like as big of a douche as possible, so it's hard to go wrong on that one.
This is silly. I look great in my sunglasses. Can I wear them all the time?
I might refresh the thread.
I like my retro hat to echo the shape of my nonexistent cheekbones.
Just staple together a big blob of taffeta then.
On another note, check out the hottest male contest results. It looks like somebody has been evening the playing field.
It looks like somebody has been evening the playing field.
Whoa! That must have just happened in the last hour. Either that's a monster bot, or the site admins decided to bump everyone up.
Jeez. It would be easier just to post naked pictures of myself or something.
174: Actually, I'm getting some kind of 404 when I try and vote manually just to pull up the results. That happening to anyone else?
173: You say that as if I didn't wear giant amorphous blobs of netting every day.
Thanks B!
I don't wear glasses often, but the pair that I have for those times when I do wear them is atrocious.
Nevermind, it sorted itself out, apparently. Also, Michael Crittenden = Slytherin???
Ok, I'll bite. Will someone please give me a general idea of Bitch's general appearance?
I'll admit to being curious. Does she look like an academic? Bookwormishly vixenish? Jane Doe?
Inquiring minds want to know.
In the pictures in question, I look bespectacled and just showered and completely blah.
She's Mexican, will. So that's how she looks.
part of me thinks my life is richer because my species is making some other species somewhere suffer.
Ogged would be perfectly happy in Omelas. He would never walk away from it.
I guessed dark hair, slightly pale, brown eyes. Medium length hair. 5'5"
185: Well, they're too poor to afford more than one, so you shouldn't make fun, dickhead.
Not knowing is really almost better. That is one of the nice things about the internet.
5'5", B? Wow. I'd have guessed you were much taller than that from those pictures. Like 6'3" or so.
190:
The beehive hairdoo adds amost a foot.
190:
The beehive hairdoo adds amost a foot.
That's b/c I took them by holding my camera phone just below my face, so I could rest my arm on the arm of the chair and not jiggle, doofus.
B. is blonde and pleasant looking.
blonde?!??! Really? But, she is a natural brunette, right?
And John blames me for the downfall of America as we know it.
193: I figured, but you still look like a giant. Sort of relieving to hear you're 5'5".
I am, in fact, a natural blonde. Sorry, Will.
Actually, B, it's hard to tell because of the crap lighting in those pics (sorry), but isn't your hair sort of a strawberry blonde, almost?
Will likes to collect facts about people. If he weren't a divorce lawyer, it would be creepy.
Well, in the pics its' still half wet. *I* don't think it's really a strawberry blond (unless I've been dying it red and letting the color fade), but some people say it is. Your call.
YOU COULD TELL IN PERSON IF YOU'D DRIVE DOWN HERE AND GO BRA SHOPPING WITH ME.
Next, someone is going to tell me that redtail is actually more brown than red.
Even with the crap lighting, you have a nice eye-color.
147 is a sleek and modern update on the classic pince-nez. I'm down.
Well, it is auburn, not carrot.
B, your hair color is sort of like mine, which means everyone will call it strawberry blonde except for those who insist you have red hair or those who insist your hair is blonde.
Ogged,
Collection does do any good without recollection. Once you get my age, you forget stuff.
I'm just hoping I remember to hook with with Stanley at the Garlic Fest.
5'5" and blonde, B? I imagined you more like this.
My gf was carrot as a child, and now is more strawberry blonde. But, she takes great offense if you point out that she isnt actually a red head anymore.
I'm almost positive that there's no way our schedules are compatible until well into September, B. ... But when they are, fuck yes!!! And I will buy you the promised drink(s).
If you're serious, w-lfs-n, you should totally go to Braintree, they rock.
FYI: Unfogged meet at the Boston airport tomorrow from 2:30 pm until 2:50 p.m.
I'll be the one with the former redhead and the cute 11 year old boy desperately seeking a Brady Jersey.
If you're serious, w-lfs-n, you should totally go to Braintree, they rock.
Braintree, MA? Or what?
Exactly like 208, only 5'5" and blond.
210: It's a date.
You say that as if I didn't wear giant amorphous blobs of netting every day.
Sure, but how often do you wear them as a hat?
i was surprised that Ogged hadnt linked to the article about the Cheerleader competition fight.
Ogged, I'd talk Rocky into taking tit pics with me and sending them to you, but only if someone could be there to record your reaction.
Will, you might enjoy Bring It On, which is actually a pretty good movie.
B, now that I'm old and wise, whenever I see titties, I just shake my head sadly and say, "So decadent."
Like I said, I want someone to record your reaction. I'm not buying it.
Now I'm shaking my head sadly and saying "So cynical."
I like breasts as much as the next guy, but by the time you are 40, you've seen a couple.
I just don't react like i've won the lottery.
224: Don't forget stroking your long mullah beard.
bring it on is a complete and total classic. i find it weird that you like it though, ogged.
225: That's cool. We won't cc you then.
No offense. I assume that they are spectacular. Lunar's, I mean.
Not, in all honesty, that I'm likely to get pierced any time soon just so I can have pince-nez-like glasses. I'd rather just have an honest to god pince-nez, really.
just popping in to give my regards to the best kirsten dunst movie of all time. and to say how much i love cheating.
I'd rather just have an honest to god pince-nez
Hang on, I think I know the answer to this one.
BARF.
Cheating loves you too, Catherine! So hot! The hottest!
Unrelated:
ogged, do you speak Farsi?
My dad went to Iran a couple of years back. He really enjoyed it.
230: None taken.
232: You forgot to tsk, disapprovingly, and call for me to be beaten.
ogged, do you speak Farsi?
Damn noobs.
No pince-nez for me before I replace my broken pocket watch, as would go without saying in any crowd but this one.
232: You forgot to tsk, disapprovingly, and call for me to be
beaten.
He'll do that after he gets finished with his long mullah.
Most people call them moobs. But I am working on them.
Our gains are being threatened both on th M and the F sides of the poll. The M bot seems to be a radical egalitarian, trying to even everyone out. The F boy favors the Libertarian and A. Bruce.
79: via a variety of links from that site I have learned from the city's official website that Des Lacs, ND, is "a good place to find men." If Rah ever kicks me to the curb I guess I'll fuel up the motorhome and check it out.
I think both the Howleybot and the AndreaBrucebot are misguided members of our own unfoggetariat.
The Holzerbot is our real competition. That and Pickler's minions.
I don't think that it's fair for other people to cheat after we decided to quit cheating while ahead, supposing that we ever had cheated, which we hadn't -- and where's the proof? And what is "cheating" anyway?
238: ogged, do you speak Farsi?
Damn noobs.
Hey, Ogged, where are you from, anyway?
I expect everyone to read the archives in full before commenting.
The blog is basically just the textual equivalent of you lying on a bed, staring up into a mirror on the ceiling and crying crying masturbating crying, isn't it?
Forgive me if I state what has already been said before.
I believe that characterization to be inaccurate. A comprehensive reading of the archives might aid your understanding.
It's not as it hard, LRock. The first 4000 or so threads only have 0 to 10 comments each. The hard part will be getting a sense of the personalities of people who don't comment here anymore, like "Matt Weiner" and "Tia".
Ned, do you know what a straight man is?
A guy who likes women who wear makeup?
LR, I think that MMCM is the more likely formula.
Or "2900" in the street lingo the kids use.
Enough with these accusations of cheating. As we've previously established, Barry Bonds is a cheater. Catherine and 'smasher are not cheaters. End of discussion.
I think that we should collect our cookies from Catherine immediately. Her reign may be unexpectedly aborted soon, thus ruining her life. She'll be in no mood to deliver cookies then.
254: A guy who likes women who wear makeup?
I see. Is there any supplementary blog material that might help me reach a better understanding?
(You fucker, that was genius. I snorted grapefruit juice onto my keyboard. I concede my utter pwnage.)
Speaking of nature and stuff, Planet Earth AND The Blue Planet just arrived from Amazon... my weekend is set!
Now you should know what comes next, L-rock.
Speaking of nature and stuff, Planet Earth AND The Blue Planet just arrived from Amazon... my weekend is set!
I highly recommend the deep sea episode on Blue Planet. So freaking amazing!
LR, what's even funnier is that ogged doesn't like women who wear makeup.
Ha, I'm watching Planet Earth right now.
I don't know O-dog what does come next?
263: LR, what's even funnier is that ogged doesn't like women who wear makeup.
Yes. Sorry for making fun of your coming out, Ogged.
Ogged, one day you and I have to kick back with some David Attenborough DVD's and then go leer at women down by the pool.
Dammit Ogged, you weren't supposed to ban her until after the beauty contest. Now she will hawk her bots to the Howley and Gorman contingents. Abdul Qadeer Khan is the model for what I am imagining here.
Look, I admit that my initial reaction to your confession was cruel, but really, Ogged, you don't have to go that far. I mean it, man, I'm here for you.
Hey, Ogged, where are you from, anyway?
He's from China. Ask M/lls or Emerson (who will probably just tell you about mayonnaise).
Not to put to fine a point on it, Rockette, but Unfogged is Ogged's coming out.
God fucking damn it. Too fine a point.
Wait. So what do you call guys who like to wear women's makeup?
273: Labs, I think. Or w-lfs-n. I don't know, I'm new around here.
275: Ugh, please ignore my comments in that thread. By "women" I meant "female college students".
275: Wow, I've hereby been around here long enough to actually remember that thread. I don't see why Ned would apologize.
Meanwhile, B. and Lunar Rockette and Ogged can get a room, have it out, and render themselves sane again.
At the risk of topic necromancy occuring in this thread, has there been a similar thread where Ogged has expressed his opinion on body hair on women?
Meanwhile, B. and Lunar Rockette and Ogged can get a room, have it out, and render themselves sane again.
Jealousy! So flattering!
Of course, as befits the customs of my homeland, the men and women would have separate rooms.
278: I think he dated a chick once who didn't shave.
279: Baby, you're in America now. Rocky and I get the bed. You can have the rollaway cot.
has there been a similar thread where Ogged has expressed his opinion on body hair on women?
I know it's come up, but I haven't offered an opinion because I don't much care.
278: I think he dated a chick once who didn't shave.
Right. Of the three long-term girlfriends, one shaved her legs and armpits (god I hate that word), one shaved just her armpits, and one didn't shave.
Do you hate the word "armpits" more, or less, than the word "fart," Prudie?
279: Of course, as befits the customs of my homeland, the men and women would have separate rooms, with the traditional sheet with a hole cut in it to maintain propriety.
Um, put more words on 284 so it makes more sense.
Why is your email address in the URL field, Lunar?
On what basis do you object to 'armpits', O-dog? I hate it too, but mostly because, damnit, not pits!!!
Random and likely ineffectual paranoia about spam bots. And also about dumb people emailing me.
Um, what shows when you mouseover names here is their url. So if you're putting your email in that box, your email is showing up for all the world to use, baby.
I do find it funny that, prudery aside, he's come out about a zillion times and once propositioned the commentariat at large to penetrate him anally.
Now, now. Straight boys like that kind of thing too, Rocky. We'll have none of your homoessentialism here.
I know, but it's surrounded by urlish bits. Also: I pasted it into the URL field by accident once, and it amuses me. I'm easily amused.
Actually, hey Ogged, can I violate the sanctity of off-blog communications to make fun of me you me?
Dude, don't ask the man's permission. Spill.
Nah. I'm not that much of a jerk.
Ok, back. Since I think I know what you're going to say, go ahead, Lunar. You do realize that now the story will be totally underwhelming?
ogged, can I violate the sanctity of the off-blog communications too?
You just do whatever you want and the good lord will provide, text hon.
ogged and I have never had a conversation. There.
and in return, the good lord has provided me with a small chocolate bar. we're all winners.
Ogged is mean to me in email, too. It's time you all knew.
I love Bring It On. Total guilty pleasure. My favorite scene is that one where they're brushing their teeth next to each other in the bathroom. It's adorable.
Ogged is mean to me in Farsi.
How would you know?
I don't consider it to have been a conversation because it was all cursing on his end, not an exchange of ideas.
309: So wrong. The single best thing about Bring It On is the idea of a cheerocracy. Now that would have been greeted with candy and flowers.
I don't consider it to have been a conversation because it was all cursing on his end, not an exchange of ideas.
SORRY THAT WAS ME, I LED YOU TO BELIEVE IT WAS OGGED
THE ENDS JUSTIFY THE MEANS. THe STAKES ARE HUGE.
I can't believe Ogged doesn't have an opinion on women's body hair. He has an opinion on everything else. Is it just a self-preserving "I won't say anything about yours if you won't say anything about mine" instinct?
I don't think I love Opinionated Grandma anymore.
When I was in high school I went with some friends of mine to try to sneak into The Cell by buying tickets to Bring It On, but we got caught and ended up actually watching Bring It On instead. It was okay, but my experience of it was kind of marred by the way one of my friends kept going on about how unattractive Kirsten Dunst was. We also made fun of the toothbrushing scene, which is really ridiculously long.
I don't think I love Opinionated Grandma anymore.
Would a free chimp change your mind?
We also made fun of the toothbrushing scene, which is really ridiculously long.
I agree. I can see the point the director was trying to get across, but I thought the means employed was entirely too obvious and dententious.
by the way one of my friends kept going on about how unattractive Kirsten Dunst was.
ogged goes to movies with high school kids. indiscretion 1, sanctimony 0.
You are both totally wrong about the toothbrushing scene.
It might. Just so long as the chimp doesn't curse at me too much. What was at stake? I would have given her the ice cream sandwich without all that.
Seriously, it's like five minutes of absolutely nothing but the two of them brushing their teeth.
I've never seen the movie, I was just making a joke and an in-reference (in on which I am the only one present) to a conversation I had about The Melancholy of Resistance, which involves a ten-plus page description of hammering a nail.
It's cute! It totally captures that awkwardness of when you're around someone you have a crush on in an unexpectedly intimate situation.
It's like, what if Last Year at Marienbad took place before a sink?
Lunar is never going to tell us her story, is she?
Ben may not have seen the movie, but he totally understands the scene.
I'm not the only one who thinks so:
During a football match, Torrance, the cheerleader squad captain, makes eyes at a boy in the stadium. Two of her girls scoff: "You're having cheersex with him." ... This example is particularly revealing, as it analogizes cheering with sex, even though the action is devoid of any physical contact. By this measure, the temptress may be considered a whore by her peers, her unintimate gesture implicated for some obscenity. This is exemplified in what I consider to be the film's best scene: Torrance is spending the night with Missy, a fellow cheerleader whose brother, Cliff, she has a crush on. She is brushing her teeth; Cliff enters and proceeds to brush his. During the minute that this lasts, no dialogue is exchanged, only hesitant glances between rounds of spitting toothpaste into the running sink between them. Cliff finishes first, smiles big, and exits. This scene is absolutely restrained, and yet so steeped in sexual tension that it may be considered profoundly erotic.
Opinionated Grandma once came to my house and we had ice cream sandwiches. She pretended to be ogged, but I knew it wasn't true. There.
I once brushed Opinionated Grandma's dentures.
I once brushed up against OG's dentures.
"Her unintimate gesture implicated for some obscenity"? No wonder they liked that scene.
327: I realized I couldn't actually make it funny.
That isn't really stopping us tonight.
Or ever, to tell the truth.
Don't make Standpipe mad.
A bit downblog, but I (would) like to wear makeup. I look a good deal sexier with a little bit of lip liner. But I can't and this pisses me off. I blame the patriarchy.
Actually, nevermind that last bit. The patriarchy isn't the problem; the problem is that I don't have the balls to wear makeup in face of stupid gendered norms.
Sack up and paint your face like the tart you are, foolishmortal.
Lovecraft's got it right. Don't be a pussy, FM.
Yeah, I'm leaning that way. The only thing is I don't actually know anything about the purchasing or application of the substance. It's always been, "Do you have any of that lip stuff that's not lipstick? Could you do me up but just a little? I'm feeling pretty tonight."
You could pick up a few women's mags or go to the library and read up. Is what you want lip liner (which is a pencil-like thing) or lip gloss (which is shiny)? If the former, presumably you want one in a fairly neutral tone; Clinique, ime, is good about that and their stuff is pretty inexpensive as department store brands go. The nice thing about dept. store brands being the fact that you can try it on first and return it if you don't like it. If what you want is a gloss, presumably you just want one that's not too shiny. Again (god, I sound like an ad), Clinique's got a good product--it's a lipstick that's somehow only half-infused with color, or something, and again if you get a neutralish shade it really isn't terribly obvious.
Sephora's a good place to buy makeup too; tons of different brands to try, the staff will leave you alone if you like, and you can browse to your heart's content. Or buy online, if you're too shy.
Oh, and for god's sake, if you're gonna use liner, smudge it a little so you don't get the hard edge Tammy Faye Bakker (may she rest in peace) look.
Quit sitting around glowing and offer some men's makeup tips, you.
I think lip liner is what I want, but I'm not sure. Wikipedia doesn't have an entry for that or something else called "lip pencil", so I couldn't say for sure. But it's not lipstick and it's not lipgloss. In any case, the die is cast: I've decided to wear (limited) makeup for a bit, and damn and fuck those who oppose me.
I got nothin'. I'm even worse at femme than I am at butch.
Oh -- remember to discreetly slip into the bathroom to wipe off the lip goo with a tissue before performing fellatio. Avoid unsightly lipstick stains on the unit.
Lipstick stains on the unit = teh sexy in my opinion. Esp. if drunk and pissing, they are an unfortunately necessary reminder of past glory. Disclaimer: Yes, I was a bad person 7-8 years ago. I only wish I had been a bad person more recently.
Oh fuck I forgot. HL is an oppressor and obviously an agent of the patriarchy, and should be denounced. Anyway, it's useful: it serves as kind of a high water mark.
In that case, discreetly slip into the bathroom to apply extra.
Liner and pencil are the same thing.
A)Oppressor. B)Agent of the patriarchy. I thought I was pretty clear. Oh, and c)should be denounced. Though after my past couple of comments I'm not sure I shouldn't be as well. Anyway, because of your mocking of my sexiness-enhancing activities you're part of the rape culture now. Sucks I suppose, but the good news is you get to advocate rape without additional opprobrium. Anyway, if you want to come back into the fold, I'd recommend minimal eyeliner, but a shitload of foundation, and a little bit of rouge wouldn't hurt.
the good news is you get to advocate rape without additional opprobrium
I'll save that one for a rainy day.
Ahem, I'll be the judge of whether or not HL deserves additional opprobrium, when that day comes.
#24: Conversely, how do you arrange good rat sex? Little rat silk dressing gowns, the finest of food pellets, Barry White on the rat stereo...
Barry White works better on snakes.
You know, to some degree, Lr's initial assessment of me was correct. I am in poor form tonight, but even so, 351.2 is not particularly justifiable. Lunar Rockette accused me of trolling, a charge of which I am both guilty and innocent. I am innocent insofar as I do not post to piss people off or get attention. I am guilty insofar as I exaggerate my feelings and positions to a)argumentative effect and b) highlight the contradictions, as they say, of my character. The reason I feel justified in doing this online is that this is the way I talk to my friends offline. Predictably, perhaps, these friendships either don't last long, or they last very long indeed. Please don't take any of the bullshit I spew too personal, and sorry about all that patriarchy.
Around 1967 the captain opf my sister's cheerleader squad continued to cheer until about the sixth month of pregnancy. The father was the point guard on the best basketball team our town has ever had. She had the baby during Xmas break and went back to school. Then they got married and lived happily ever after. The end. (The father's brother was the guy who kept stealing the town police car).
Conversely, how do you arrange good rat sex?
Traditionally, this involves duct tape.
