Re: Footballer

1

That photo would be a lot better if his head weren't turned to the camera.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:23 AM
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2

Whoa, closing the window with the softcore gay porn while I'm at work.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:23 AM
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3

Arms aren't so bad, either.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:25 AM
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4

That photo would be a lot better if his head weren't turned to the camera.

I quite agree.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:25 AM
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5

What does the tatoo across his lower back say?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:25 AM
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6

What does the tatoo across his lower back say?

w-lfs-n


Posted by: Peter | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:27 AM
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7

Looks to me like it says "IRS".

They brand people on HB-1 visas now?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:27 AM
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8

Hotttt. Swoon.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:28 AM
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9

It's "Brooklyn," which is his son's name.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:28 AM
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10

That's sick. Incest. Jesus.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:29 AM
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11

So how many five year-olds would it take to beat him up?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:30 AM
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12

Factoring in the fact that he's a soccer player, I'd say...three.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:31 AM
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13

No, to actually injure him, not to get him to act like he's been injured.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:34 AM
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14

How many NBA officials would it take to bet on his games?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:36 AM
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15

HOW MANY CHIMPERORS WOULD IT TAKE TO LIBERATE AND OCCUPY HIM?


Posted by: OPINIONATED GRANDMA | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:38 AM
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16

It's those weird bulgy hip muscles that make him stand out. I wonder if all soccer players develop those.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:39 AM
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17

Nice try, Bitterplate.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:40 AM
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18

Oh well.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:40 AM
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19

I'm not so bitter these days, though. It's true. For instance, I just hugged a puppy.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:41 AM
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20

Me, at work the other day, having a conversation with some developers who work for me, all men:

Dev1: I heard a funny question the other day. How many five year olds do you think you could take in a fight?

Dev2: Infinite. I mean, you hit them and they start to cry, right?

Dev1: That's what I figured. The most they could do is bruise your legs a bit.

Me: The way I heard it, it was to the death. It's you or them. How many could you hold off to the death. That surely wouldn't be infinite.

Dev1: You have to kill the five year olds?

(general looks of horror in my direction)


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:41 AM
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21

It was a lie! I scolded the puppy!


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:43 AM
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22

I wonder if all soccer players develop those.

Yes, they do. Those muscles are totally hott.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:44 AM
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23

Ew, scalded puppy.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:44 AM
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24

i maked you a puppy!

but i ated it.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:45 AM
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25

It's like two golf balls on the outside of each hip. The next big implant?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:47 AM
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26

Thank you, Ogged.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:47 AM
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27

I'm under the impression that most men so posed would expose at least a flash of dangly bits. Have Beckham's been photoshopped away, or are they just obscured by his unusually enormous thighs?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:47 AM
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28

Oh, that is pretty. Mmm.

On the dangly bits, I'd guess that the pose was deliberately made discreet by keeping the legs together and scooping the junk forward, rather than allowin free danglage.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:54 AM
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29

the medical term is "civil war trick"


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:55 AM
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30

28: Yes, he is purposely denying us a fruit basket, and after all America has done to welcome him.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:55 AM
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31

And what about his other leg (his other other leg)? He looks like a sciapod.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:57 AM
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32

31: There is no other leg. His one-leggedness is what makes his mad soccer skillz so impressive. Duh.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 10:58 AM
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33

Or rather, the second one isn't really a leg. Which is what makes him so impressive off the field.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:00 AM
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34

And you know, enormous thighs and all, but other than that this supports my thesis that soccer players are your best option for evenly well built, rather than freakishly specialized, male athletes.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:00 AM
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35

Why do you hate basketball players, LB? Is it' coz theyz black?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:02 AM
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36

It's "Brooklyn," which is his son's name.

The last couple of times I've been in dive bars (and a laundromat), I've noticed guys who have realistic portrait tattoos of kids. The guy I talked to went on about his kid, said he had it done when she was 3.
I never noticed this in the 90s, and was in dives more often. Is it a country thing, a regional thing, a jail thing-- anyone know or noticed?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:06 AM
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37

#32. True. That's what Pliny says. Also that they lie on their backs and shade themselves with their feet enormous wangs.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:07 AM
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38

I have finally found some evidence for my thesis that male dancers also develop these freakish hip muscles.

(Hey, costumers! Put the menfolks in less clothes!)


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:08 AM
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35: Absolutely.

No, it's that they're too tall, which tends to make them awkwardly elongated looking. While there are many attractive b-ball players out there, they do have to overcome the basic weirdness of a body optimized for basketball.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:09 AM
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40

34: what about baseball?

Or even football if you think QB or RB, not LB.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:10 AM
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41

soccer players are your best option for evenly well built, rather than freakishly specialized, male athletes

Rank absurdity, LB. Soccer players have huge legs and scrawny arms. What's evenly built about that?

(And yes, Gaybot's contention notwithstanding, Beckham has scrawny arms.)


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:12 AM
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42

I suspect that Beckham stole some of those thigh muscles from his wife.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:14 AM
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43

Baseball doesn't interfere with being attractive, but it doesn't make it significantly more likely -- there's a lot of beer guts out there. Football -- again, not impossible to find a pretty football player, but there are a lot of giant rectangular slabs of meat out there.

And if those arms look scrawny to you, Ogged, you have high, and peculiar, standards.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:16 AM
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44

Ogged, I have scrawny arms. Beckham does not.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:17 AM
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45

Didn't it turn out that those Posh pics were maliciously photoshopped?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:17 AM
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46

Scrawny arms, people. But since Labsy isn't here to back me, I won't press the point. If you like 'em, you like 'em.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:19 AM
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47

LB has weird pro-Euro biases.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:19 AM
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48

45: I'll admit I haven't followed up on the story.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:24 AM
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49

45: I'll admit I haven't followed up on the story.

Again, I have to do the background research for you, apo. What's the matter, can't keep up with three kids and the whole internet?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:27 AM
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50

Your daughter looks exactly like Noah in the lemon-eating video -- the same big-eyed alert stare.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:29 AM
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51

soccer players are your best option for evenly well built, rather than freakishly specialized, male athletes.

Dear god please forgive me for what I am about to say, but.

No, it's swimmers.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:31 AM
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52

Swimmers are good too; I like the swimmers. I was thinking of 'athletes' as meaning 'famous professional athletes', and that's not so much a description of swimmers.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:33 AM
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53

Swimmers lack necks.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:37 AM
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54

can't keep up with three kids and the whole internet?

Turns out I can't. At least not while holding down a full-time job. Stupid sperm.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:39 AM
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55

51: Is your house clean yet, B?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:40 AM
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56

55: The kitchen and the main room are clean. I'll tackle the living room and PK's room probably today. Then I'll do the bedroom, which Mr. B. promised (and failed) to clean the *last* time I did a whole-house clean.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:41 AM
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57

soccer players are your best option for evenly well built, rather than freakishly specialized, male athletes.

FWIW, this is what soccer greatness looks like without a shirt.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:41 AM
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58

And you know, enormous thighs and all, but other than that this supports my thesis that soccer players are your best option for evenly well built, rather than freakishly specialized, male athletes.

No, it's swimmers.

Australian Rules Football players also rank highly, if you count "famous" as including "famous in Australia." PS I am not gay, NTTAWWT.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:41 AM
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59

Own your place on the economic food chain and hire someone, B.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:43 AM
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60

I'm pretty sure most human swimmers have necks. Though will says they shouldn't turn them.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:43 AM
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61

59: I think B might feel degraded by having to pay someone to give her a t-t job.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:49 AM
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62

From the OP: David Beckham has, as the physiologists might say, lots of leg muscles.

Probably they'd say he has about the regular number.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 11:50 AM
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63

It's the European carryall that does it for me.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:00 PM
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64

Own your place on the economic food chain and hire someone, B.

That's part of "get my shit together." Before I can hire someone, we really need a coherent budget. I also need a nanny.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:11 PM
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65

Christiano Ronaldo is handsome, yes, but such a little bitch.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:16 PM
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66

65: so's Beckham, though. Football is rife with them.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:18 PM
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67

Stig Tøfting - not a little bitch.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:21 PM
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68

I'm the only woman here who finds the photograph kind of annoying, in a faux-artsy gimme-a-break kind of way, aren't I?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:22 PM
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69

68: No.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:24 PM
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70

Oh, good.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:24 PM
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71

PK liked it, though.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:24 PM
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72

I mean, Beckham's still hot, but the photo's a little trite.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:25 PM
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73

And just like that one image sends me scurrying back to lynx.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:26 PM
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74

68: is that restricted to women? I agree it would be much less cheesy if he were looking forward, though.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:27 PM
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75

Stig Tofting looks like he's been hitting the human growth hormones a little hard.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:27 PM
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76

72: Agreed. I find that the annoyingness of the photo swamps my ability to enjoy the subject.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:27 PM
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77

Even if he were looking forward, this is still a photo we've all seen before. Not with Beckham's bare ass in it, granted, but still.


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:28 PM
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78

See, I think the fact that he's turning towards the camera is the only thing that makes it even partly interesting. Because *of course* the standard thing would be a full profile. Yawn.

Plus he has a cute face.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:28 PM
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79

The pose reminded me of the illustration in Wripley's Believe it Or Not of the armless man famous for his beautiful penmanship, pen held between the toes.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:29 PM
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80

I think the looking forward version would be even more seen-it-before, myself.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:30 PM
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81

78: so have him look away from camera to break the symmetry.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:30 PM
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82

So, in Europe a man can really dress and look like Cristiano Ronaldo does in that street scene, and not be thought to be gay? Really? Because he looks literally more gay than the most stereotypical gay man I have ever seen in real life. Astonishing. I'm tired of our constrictive gender roles here.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:30 PM
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83

82: Yes, really.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:31 PM
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84

Hop on board the anti-macho train, Ned. Glad to have you.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:31 PM
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85

Even wearing a tight, unbuttoned, nearly see-through lavender shirt, carefully tucked in behind the belt buckle but not tucked in otherwise? And with the purse? Seriously, not even children would think he looks a little gay?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:35 PM
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86

82: He needs to decide whether he's tucking in his shirt or not.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:35 PM
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87

You guys, he's Italian (right?). He looks like a hot young Italian guy. If anything, his sexuality is going to be more about the mirror than about men *or* women.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:41 PM
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88

Portuguese, I think.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:43 PM
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89

Portuguese.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:44 PM
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90

You guys, he's Italian (right?)

No, he's Portuguese. Do not say "Same difference, right?"


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:45 PM
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91

Obeying house style gets you pwned.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:45 PM
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92

Obeying house style gets you pwned.

Same difference, right?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:56 PM
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93

I do believe the footballer in question is Portuguese.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 12:57 PM
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94

I think he's Portuguese, B, but same difference.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:04 PM
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95

I just got Christiano Ronaldo's agent on the phone, and he (CR) is either Portugese or Spanish - the agent said he wasn't sure.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:05 PM
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96

I do believe the footballer in question is Portuguese.

Right, he's Spanish.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:09 PM
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97

I was proud that everybody had spelled Portuguese correctly, until 95.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:09 PM
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98

Strange, Beckham looks a little like Kevin Federline in this picture.

But if you put a bag over his head, I'd hit it.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:09 PM
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99

His head?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:09 PM
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100

96: Same difference.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:10 PM
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101

right?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:11 PM
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102

98: What, you can't bear to see his face while you're pummeling his head?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:11 PM
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103

A) He's Portuguese
B) LOL You said you would hit his head
C) LOL


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:12 PM
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104

My sociopath brother-in-law was Portuguese-American. A tiny niche minority in the US. I have to remind myself that he's just one guy and they can't all be sociopaths.

Are Portuguese Latinos? Given the way the word has developed, I'd say not.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:13 PM
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105

104: They're sort of Latinos the way Romanian is technically a Romance language. Too much atlantic exposure has diluted the influence of the mediterreanean.

Wasn't Mystic Pizza all about the horrible oppression of Portuguese-Americans?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:16 PM
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106

I'm the only woman here who finds the photograph kind of annoying, in a faux-artsy gimme-a-break kind of way, aren't I?

Yes?

Y'all are too cynical by half. The man, or perhaps the photo, is gorgeous. Disagree about the head-turning; it humanizes, and actually, sexualizes.

Then again, I'm also a fan of well-done black and white photography.

You know, sometimes you have to stop with the self-conscious parody and just smile. It's okay, no one will hurt you for it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:16 PM
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107

The extra butt-musles are weird as shit.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:17 PM
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108

Oh, come on. Post a pic of a pretty naked chick and some guy saying "I'd hit it" would garner exactly 0 "huh?" comments. When I say it, you think I'm talking about hitting his bagged head.

Translation: I'd have sex with him, if you covered his Federline-ish face. That better? If the phrase "butterface" didn't contain "her" I would have used that one.

I really just wanted to use same sexist language that I see all the time online, directed at women. I wondered what the response would be.


Posted by: wrenae | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:18 PM
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109

He does sort of look like K-Fed here.

He's yummy, but the overall effect would be better if his arms weren't back there but huddled around his chest; like he was both a little vomit-y and unafraid to stare you down while fighting back puke. I'd prefer that, I think.


Posted by: rachel | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:18 PM
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110

I'm pretty sure everyone understood what you were getting at, wrenae.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:19 PM
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111

108: I think this is just the kind of place where people are always going to enjoy leaping on nominally ambiguous anaphora.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:21 PM
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112

I don't like the pic or anything, but sure, I'd hit it too.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:22 PM
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113

112: you'd hit the picture? Or his head?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:23 PM
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114

If the phrase "butterface" didn't contain "her"

um.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:23 PM
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115

106: I'm a big fan of well done black & white photography too ... this one is meh (for me).


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:25 PM
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116

108: First, until now I didn't know whether you were female or male.

Second, it was the phrasing (the "it" is ambiguous), that lead to the (sure, lame and obvious) jokes, not the fact that it was a male image you were talking about.

So take that, you humorless feministperson!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:27 PM
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117

What I'm saying is, when it comes to nominally ambiguous anaphora, I'll pretty much hit anything.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:29 PM
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118

108: more telling was 2; namely that a nude photo of a guy is automagically considered borderline `gay porn'.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:30 PM
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119

117:

What I'm saying is, when it comes to nominally ambiguous anaphora, I'll pretty much hit anything.

fixed that for you


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:31 PM
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120

I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god!
I'd hit that like it owed me money!
I'd hit that like BAM!
I'd hit that like a pinata!
I'd hit that like pressing return on a google search for the phrase "I'd hit that like"!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:32 PM
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121

When I say it, you think I'm talking about hitting his bagged head.

Not really, it's just funnier that way.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:32 PM
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122

119: Okay, soub. You won't be offended if I ask you to wear a bag over your head though, will you?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:33 PM
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123

Heebie, how's the Tower of Hanoi going?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:33 PM
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124

I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god!

I'd never heard this before, but Google tells me it's possibly the most common usage.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:35 PM
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125

121: You misspelled "funner". We haven't yet discussed which implements would be best to use to beat Beckham about his bagged head with though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:35 PM
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126

Obviously, one would hit it. That's nearly universal, isn't it?


Posted by: rachel | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:36 PM
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127

The second sentence of 125 is my verbal tribute to the Towers of Hanoi.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:36 PM
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128

Not following the subtext here. A nude photo of a guy is dubbed gay porn only as a joke, I would have assumed.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:37 PM
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129

I started on the Tower, with a girl from Hanoi. She has a hibiscus flower in her hair and a club foot and we're inventing our own dialect so that we can speak in code around the adults.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:37 PM
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122: well, if you're certain you're up for it.... It'll be hard to be accurate with the whip though. And you know how you have trouble articulating your safe words through the ball gag, so if I can't see, it might get a little rough on you, is my only concern.


Posted by: soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:38 PM
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131

"...a metaphor," she'd say.

"I'd hit that like she was a plate glass window and I was a rioting proletariat with a baseball bat," I'd say.

"That's certainly a... colorful metaphor," she'd say. And there were colors - they had just risen to her cheeks.

"Isn't that a simile?" Some undereducated fool would query.

"A simile is a type of metaphor," I'd snap, childishly upset that my track had been broken.

"That's not what we learned in English," they'd reply, and look to her to settle it.

"I dunno," she'd say. "English was never my forte." And it was true - she'd mispronounced forte.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:38 PM
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132

129: But would you hit her?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:38 PM
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which implements would be best to use to beat Beckham about his bagged head

Obviously, best would be to pick up Victoria Beckham by her ankles and swing her at his bagged noggin.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:39 PM
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trouble articulating your safe words through the ball gag

You should pick "mmmmfff!" as the word.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:40 PM
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135

132: Like it was going out of style.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:40 PM
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130: Oh, we'll cut eyeholes in the bag, so no worries.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:40 PM
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Now, now, ladies, don't get to excited--as we gentlemen are unfailingly reminded when viewing various celebrities and noting our willingness to "hit it", you ought to be cognizant of the fact that "it" might not "hit" you.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:41 PM
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135: I've heard that hitting people is going out of style.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:41 PM
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139

So much for my man-crush.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:42 PM
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138: Kicking someone in the shins is the new hitting them.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:42 PM
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she is far less metaphorically hit-able. I would hazard this is objectively true.


Posted by: rachel | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:44 PM
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141: Who?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:47 PM
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You had a man-crush on Figo?! Ew.

Of the Portuguese team, my favorite was Deco, in a Dennis Kucinich-y, put-him-in-my-pocket-and-take-him-home-to-set-loose-in-the-backyard kind of way.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:49 PM
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a nude photo of a guy is automagically considered borderline `gay porn'.

Sure. The photo is of a man, and porn is for men. It's all so very logical, you see.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:49 PM
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140: Beckham wears shin-guards.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:53 PM
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I want to be a footballer, shot-caller, with twenty-inch rims on my impala. (Why an impala? What's up with the impalas?)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:53 PM
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142: Posh


Posted by: rachel | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:55 PM
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Beckham wears shin-guards.

Heh-heh, for protection. IFKWIM. AITYD. What I mean is, for protection against STDs and pregnancy. Like a condom. Like a vest for your jimmy in the city of sex.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:55 PM
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I'd hit that like pressing return on a google search for the phrase "I'd hit that like"!

Awesome.

Also, of *course* the boys want to talk about beating up the pretty boy that has all the girl attention.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:57 PM
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I miss Zidane. Zidane would never pose like Burt Reynolds.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:58 PM
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146: "Impala" rhymes with "footballer" better than "Gremlin" does. Duh. You math people just dont' understand art.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:58 PM
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137: "too," for god's sake. If you're going to be prim, do it properly.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 1:59 PM
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149: Would you really describe Beckham as "pretty"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:02 PM
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I wanna be a goblin, named Franklin
Twenty-inch rims on my new Gremlin.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:03 PM
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Also, of *course* the boys want to talk about beating up the pretty boy that has all the girl attention.

But it was wrenae's idea!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:03 PM
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156

You know who's hot? Lilian Thuram, that's who.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:03 PM
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157

Taking penicillian, in the Kremlin.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:04 PM
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Zidane would never pose like Burt Reynolds.

You have no idea how long I spent trying to find a semi-naked Zidane picture.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:04 PM
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Are you going to share that link or what, J-Mo?


Posted by: Magpie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:05 PM
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156: Anyone says different, they're dissemblin'.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:06 PM
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Zidane y va marquer.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:06 PM
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No shit, really B? "Too"? Thanks. I'll be sure to start doing a better job proofreading my BLOG COMMENTS. Or not.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:07 PM
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153: Yes.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:07 PM
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158: If you ever do, please keep it to yourself.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:07 PM
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Kakutami (M.) limns him in her . . .


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:07 PM
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Belay 164.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:08 PM
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163: Just asking, but are you also prone to describing ferrets as "pretty"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:09 PM
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No such luck. There was this one archived image of him shirtless with a jacket on, but he still had his hair back then, so, not as hot.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:09 PM
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Brock, honey, if you're going to be a schoolmarm, ya gotta do it right.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:09 PM
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165: That doesn't rhyme with "Gremlin" at all, honky.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:10 PM
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No, ferrets are cute.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:10 PM
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171: So what about humans with ferrety faces?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:11 PM
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There's another picture of Beckham from the same shoot.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:11 PM
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146: (Why an impala? What's up with the impalas?) Have we moved on or would you like an answer?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:12 PM
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And hipknobs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:12 PM
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It's good to know one's idol can retire without having disgraced himself in front of the camera.


Posted by: Michael Vanderwheel, B.A. | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:12 PM
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so the N is silent. do better.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:12 PM
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You don't have permission to access /images/photos/david_beckham_02@.jpg on this server.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:13 PM
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I want to be a footballer, shot-caller, with twenty-inch rims on my impala. (Why an impala? What's up with the impalas?)

Not always

Drivin' in my Puegeot
20 inch rims with the chrome now
Blazin' out Yo La Tengo
Drivin' round poppin' with the top down

Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:13 PM
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in other words, I challenge thee to a slapfight.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:14 PM
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You don't have permission to access /images/photos/david_beckham_02@.jpg on this server.

Sucks for you, eh?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:14 PM
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180: And not a rap-off?

I claim victory!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:16 PM
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The Beckham pic.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:16 PM
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Have we moved on or would you like an answer?

Well, 151 took a stab at it. But if you want explain more, I'll play along.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:17 PM
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183: Are you just fucking with us? I get, "Page Not Found."


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:17 PM
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You don't have permission to access /images/photos/david_beckham_02@.jpg on this server.

Most of the time (including this one), if you just click in the URL field and hit return, the image will appear. It's just blocking hotlinks in to it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:18 PM
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173:

There's another picture of Beckham from the same shoot.

Forbidden. You do not have permission to access ...


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:19 PM
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claiming victory is the new totally getting bested in a slap-fight.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:19 PM
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183: Nice fix, cheater.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:20 PM
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183 works; I'd just mistyped it the first time around.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:20 PM
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Oh. God it's tiring to be on turtle-speed.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:21 PM
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188: I'm just worried that an innocent bystander might get slapped.

And of what might happen to you in prison because of that.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:21 PM
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I like Beckham emerging from his chrysallis.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:22 PM
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Actually this second pic is too stagey by far.

Oh well. Once is enough.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:25 PM
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I'd go further than that. The Impala was the "Sportier" version of the full size Chevrolet from the introduction of the small-block V8 in 1955, an iconic year, until the last rear-drive full-size sedans were made in the mid-nineties. They've always had cache, and older ones were the basis of lowriders, and can be seen in many of the gangsta rap videos. The huge chrome rims have been the style for customized cars for the last dozen years; there are a number in my neighborhood. Very highly prized, particularly in gang culture.

Chevrolet has recycled the name for a sedan, now often used for taxis in Chicago, but Impala here refers only to the rear-drive V8.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:26 PM
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195: I've got gangster cred coming out my ears. I was just seeing if you knew.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:30 PM
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And of what might happen to you in prison because of that.

More free time to formulate mad Kakutami beats?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:30 PM
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gangster cred coming out my ears

they have drops for that.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:32 PM
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I put drops in my eyes to make me wise, and to reduce the amount I despise my thighs.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:36 PM
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they have drops for that.

The pain lets me know that I'm alive.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:40 PM
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I put drops in my nose to make me doze and, while I sleep, it grows in repose.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:41 PM
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actually the drops help the gangster cred come out.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:43 PM
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I put drops in my beat, like it's hot. I drop beats a lot, with little thought, pausing only for Cat- and Capp Bots. Did you know I'm a polyglot?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:45 PM
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Isn't the second picture a yoga pose?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 2:59 PM
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"I dunno," she'd say. "English was never my forte." And it was true - she'd mispronounced forte.

You all know that "forte", as in "English was never my forte", should be pronounced "fort" not "for-tay", right? Because it's from the French for the wider part of a rapier blade, not from the Italian musical term.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:37 PM
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You all know that "forte", as in "English was never my forte", should be pronounced "fort" not "for-tay", right?

True! But there's a certain cachet in making it sashay.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:39 PM
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On the other hand, speakers of English should pronounce it "for-tay" for the same reason that they shouldn't say "Paree" when they're talking about Paris.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:41 PM
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And also "eee-ow de toilety".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:43 PM
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I'll eee-ow your toilety, young man.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:44 PM
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I can't wait—but we should make the arrangements in private; I think your husband knows about this site.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 4:46 PM
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You all know that "forte", as in "English was never my forte", should be pronounced "fort" not "for-tay", right?

Upon looking this up I see that this is unclear. It is clear that the French term fort should be pronounced "fort", but it appears that "forte" is somewhat in limbo.

The pronunciation of forte 'strong point' is a subject of much debate. The most common pronunciation--by far--in America is FOR-tay, the same as the Italian musical term. Conservative usage writers usually insist that this pronunciation is wrong, and only the pronunciation FORT (identical to the word fort 'defensive military location') is acceptable. The rationale is that the French word forte should be pronounced like fort in English; people who pronounce is FOR-tay are either confusing it with the Italian musical term or are assuming that it's spelled forté, which would be pronounced FOR-tay. (In fact, the word is occasionally found in print in the forté spelling, confirming that people do make that mistake.)
There are several problems with this argument. First, the French word is simply not forte, it is fort, so the forte spelling is wrong from the start. Second, the correct French word fort is pronounced FOR, without a "t." Thus, anyone claiming that the FORT pronunciation is correct because of any connection with French is simply wrong. Another factor is that French words can be Anglicized however we see fit--Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of English Usage points out that the punctuation mark (') is pronounced uh-PAHS-tro-fee in English, even though it "should" be pronounced ah-pahs-TROPH, since it's from French. Finally, there's the point that the FOR-tay pronunciation is so common that most people now have never heard of the FORT pronunciation and will think it's wrong.
None of this, of course, makes FOR-tay a correct pronunciation; it comes from a mistake of one kind or another. But there is no pronunciation of forte 'strong point' that is etymologically acceptable, so it comes down to a question of choosing which error you want to go with. FORT is favored by the more conservative, but is much less familiar; FOR-tay is far more common but is thought to be wrong by people who bother expressing opinions on such matters. The choice is yours.

(I think I managed to conform to house style appropriately there. If you forgive the lengthy quotation.)


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 5:06 PM
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204:

Isn't the second picture a yoga pose?

Actually, yeah, it is. Or a facsimile thereof.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 5:16 PM
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211: To confuse the manner, we always pronounced it "fort" when speaking of the corresponding position in fencing.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 7:09 PM
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You fence, Chopper?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 7:34 PM
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Hey, did you guys know about the Ulysses S. Grant doll?

OK, I'ma go drink now.


Posted by: Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 7:43 PM
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Can we buy one for Lopez?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 7:46 PM
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the corresponding position in fencing

I didn't know that trafficking in stolen goods was so formalized.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 8:04 PM
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217: it's important for criminals to have a code of conduct.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-27-07 9:11 PM
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More than that, profits are maximized by specialization. You don't run into many Renaissance Thieves- the old ways are disappearing.


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 07-28-07 1:46 PM
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