Re: Words Are For Sissies

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If you want to hear that kind of talk regularly, get on the email list for www.vcdl.org.

It is quite entertaining.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 3:27 PM
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I wish these guys would abandon their Turner Diaries fantasies and admit that shooting guns is fun and interesting.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 3:35 PM
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Cold steel dead hand

Would be a good handle.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 3:40 PM
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There's a funny thing about that Charlton Heston line. From what I understand about California, mental incapacity is sufficient cause to revoke a firearm permit. His Alzheimer's will, at some point, lead to the state having cause to take away his guns...

"From my cold dead hands...say, is that pudding?"


Posted by: 3pointshooter | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 3:59 PM
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Aren't the Turner Diary fantasties kinda the point?


Posted by: Lunar Rockette | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 4:04 PM
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Charlton Heston

I found it really surprising that Ben-Hur contained miracles not present in the gospels, and that these newly-minted miracles weren't seen as blasphemous.

Concerning the second amendment, I was surprised to learn how heavily armed people are in Switzerland. The people who lobby for guns here in the US seem mostly off-balance, but the constitution does weigh in on their point, and there are places where guns are harmless. I think that it's one more manifestation of the suburbs being unable to choose whether they are city or country.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:24 PM
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The explanations for gun violence in America are as various as the people wielding the guns. I, myself, prefer to note that sometimes, for example when some punkass bitches steal one's cocaine, one simply has to bust one or more caps in one or more asses, lest one's escutcheon suffer an ineradicable blot.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:32 PM
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5: "fantasties", while probably a typo, is kickass coinage numero dos for LROC today.

7: Flippanter is 50 Cent? Can I borrow ten million? Or get some free Vitamin Water?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:35 PM
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Also sometimes soda cans sitting on fences give me funny looks and need to be plugged by my six-shooter.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:35 PM
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I found it really surprising that Ben-Hur contained miracles not present in the gospels, and that these newly-minted miracles weren't seen as blasphemous.

Lew Wallace: not much of a theologian. Or a governor, for that matter.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:35 PM
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8: No, but I've played a lot of Counterstrike and Grand Theft Auto, which is almost as good.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:37 PM
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Hey, the side bar is in the wrong order. It should go Sifu, me, then Teo. Weirded OUT!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:37 PM
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Which miracles? I always figured that Ben-Hur was all of the offstage story, sort of like Sauron battling the elves in Lothlorien.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:37 PM
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6: somewhat different story, says McPhee. Switzerland is also incredibly militarized, yet... not really.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:38 PM
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Miracles like in 12!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:38 PM
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12: That happens from time to time. Comments don't always post to the thread and the sidebar with the same speed.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:39 PM
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13: Sauron battling the elves in Lothlorien isn't blasphemous? I certainly have a lot to learn about Christianity.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:39 PM
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16: Why are you so uncomfortable admitting God performs tiny, sidebar miracles?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:40 PM
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Because I'm a wicked secular humanist.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:41 PM
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Has anyone read that McPhee book? Just finished The Control of Nature, which I have to say makes one think about environmentalism in an unusual manner.

And yeah, it seems like the odds of getting shot in the US if one does not sell drugs are incredibly low. Certainly in San Francisco.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:41 PM
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The god of small WordPress features, by Heebundhati Geebroy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:42 PM
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Because I'm a wicked secular humanist.

Someone needs to see Kirk Cameron explain about the bananas and the hand, and how well it fits again. Someone's faith needs a kirk in the seat of the pants.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:44 PM
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20: no. I've never even heard of it, which is why I linked to it and discussed its contents.

Less bitchily, I love pretty much everything I've ever read by McPhee. The Control of Nature was certainly the origin of my New Orleans contrarianism. For an apocalyptic thrillride, check out The Curve of Binding Energy, in which McPhee learns about (a) the incredible vulnerability of America's nuclear stockpile and (b) the unique vulnerability of the WTC to terrorist attack. In 1982.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:44 PM
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The god of small WordPress features, by Heebundhati Geebroy.

I can type the word "spoons" in bendy font and levitate titles in midpage.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:45 PM
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I don't understand 22, but I like it better that way.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:47 PM
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Tell me with a straight face that you would never link to a book and make a seemingly profound but actually contentless statement about its contents without having read it. Never. Unreasonable to even suspect such a thing. Certainly not our Sifu.

The vulnerability of the nuclear stockpile is an interesting one. It seems like there are lots of people who would very much like to steal a nuclear weapon. If it was as easy to do so as it seems and as these Red Team sort of studies seem to show, you'd think it would have been done by now, no? Must be an erroneous assumption somewhere in there...


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:48 PM
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If my calculations are correct, then Apo should have heard the cry for help in 25, wherever he may be.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:48 PM
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it seems like the odds of getting shot in the US if one does not sell drugs are incredibly low. Certainly in San Francisco.

Not necessarily. Just this weekend the brother of a good friend was stabbed, in San Francisco, and he was just out there buying drugs for personal consumption. He doesn't sell at all.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:50 PM
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The athiest's nightmare.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:50 PM
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17: It's right before the part where Saul is struck down by a flash of lightning on the way to Isengard and is told to preach to the hobbits.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:51 PM
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Yikes. That sucks. Is he OK, or at least OK for someone who just got stabbed?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:51 PM
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12: Hi there, Teen Girl Squad.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:53 PM
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I have a crush on every foxtail shrub.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:54 PM
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28: Stabbed, sure. But not shot. For that you need to sell.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:54 PM
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26.1: just because I never say anything with a straight face doesn't mean I'm always lying. Anyhow, I think if I were to expound thoughtfully on a subject I was completely uninformed about (not admitting anything) I think I'd avoid linking to actual authoritative reference sources. Too easy to be found out.

Just to enhance my ever-growing reputation as the blogosphere's equivalent of Cliff from Cheers: whenever I'm around my mom in a social environment, and someboody mentions something I (think I) know something about, and I attempt to offer whatever relevant factoid, she'll turn to them and say, sotto voce, "he doesn't really know that."

And now I guess I won't expound on the nature of our nuclear vulnerability, after all.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:55 PM
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29: Yeah, see, now that I've watched that video I'm not as happy about my life as I was before.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:55 PM
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Just this weekend the brother of a good friend was stabbed, in San Francisco, and he was just out there buying drugs for personal consumption.

That is so Adventures In Babysitting.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:55 PM
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He's okay for someone who just got stabbed--out of the hospital, but its sort of an uncomfortable situation because his wedding was supposed to be this weekend, and now they've had to postpone it. And it was a big wedding, with lots of invitations mailed and plane tickets purchased and deposits paid. Honestly I think right now he's half-wishing the knife had struck a vital organ and taken him out.


Posted by: Borck Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:56 PM
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39

I don't think Heebie understands how much she hurts us by not posting more often. But that's OK.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:56 PM
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40

Actual promo for the local news a year or so ago: "An Albuquerque stabbing turns deadly."


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:57 PM
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Someone's faith needs a kirk in the seat of the pants.

a kirk full of stern presbyterians.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:57 PM
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38: Oh my. I'm imagining my mother's reaction.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:58 PM
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I don't think Heebie understands how much she hurts us by not posting more often. But that's OK.

Heebie is a sad clown on the inside, John. Do you want to see me cry?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:58 PM
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Posted by: Borck Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:56 PM

Please, please, please keep it this way.

Also, your friend shouldn't feel bad. Somebody has to buy the drugs for the wedding.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:58 PM
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Fter all, as a mathematician she has to add up long columns of very important figures. Without her, our economy might collapse, because math is what keeps the system running.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 5:59 PM
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Just to enhance my ever-growing reputation as the blogosphere's equivalent of Cliff from Cheers: whenever I'm around my mom in a social environment, and someboody mentions something I (think I) know something about, and I attempt to offer whatever relevant factoid, she'll turn to them and say, sotto voce, "he doesn't really know that."

For similar reasons, when my sister first introduced me to Buck, she said "There's something you have to remember. She lies."


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:00 PM
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34: fair enough.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:00 PM
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math is what keeps the system running.

Adrenaline is what keeps the system running, man. Sheer uncut adrenaline.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:00 PM
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Now I feel that I've hurt her, and wrongly so. She's Shakes the Clown, except not played by Bobcat Goldthwaite.

I'd kill myself, except that I'm be too busy posting here.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:01 PM
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38: That may be the funniest stabbing story I ever heard: "Dude, getting stabbed buying drugs was nothing. Cancelling the florist sucked." It'd be tempting to go ahead and get married on a gurney if necessary.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:01 PM
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but its sort of an uncomfortable situation because his wedding was supposed to be this weekend

Oh man. Did he get stabbed while in the TL? Poor guy, and poor wife. I hope it works out.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:01 PM
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Really, I don't lie. I just exude certitude.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:01 PM
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except not played by Bobcat Goldthwaite

Now how do you know that?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:02 PM
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54

I only use organic belladonna.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:02 PM
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Unfortunately, I have an appointment to see what Keith Olbermann has to say about Rove. Could someone else explain to Heebie that she's really, in some sense, all right, more or less? Because after all, everything's relative.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:04 PM
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I don't understand the question in 51.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:05 PM
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36 - Would it cheer you to imagine Kirk Cameron and Australian Mustachioed Jesus Man explaining how, you know, "bananas" are perfectly designed to fit the human hand?


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:06 PM
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52: The thing is, if you've got the certitude down, it's hard not to play with people a little. It's amazing what they'll believe if you tell them with a straight face. "Did you know that researchers in Roanoke Virginia have trained oysters to do simple household tasks?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:07 PM
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56: TL means "Tenderloin." It's the stabby neighborhood.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:07 PM
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Could someone else explain to Heebie that she's really, in some sense, all right, more or less?

I'm right here; there's no need to shout. Plus my self-esteem is made of industrial grade steel. Laced with kryptonite and wearing a necklace of garlic cloves.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:07 PM
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the funniest stabbing story I ever heard

Is there a long list of contenders?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:07 PM
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59: Oh, I have no idea. I've never been to SF and don't know the neighborhoods.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:09 PM
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58: oh, believe me, I know. This weekend my friends and I accidentally convinced otherwise rational people that we were suing Wendys from the future.

On the other hand, they completely refused to believe my opinions on nominally uncontroversial topics: "you should go to the beach, it's fun, the water is nice" was a total non-starter.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:10 PM
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Really, I don't lie. I just exude certitude.

You know lots of things, so if you aren't sure if you're right or not, the odds are that you are in fact right, so you may as well go on that assumption? Sound logic. I commend you.

And it was the bit about New Orleans that was most thought-provoking. What are you going to do? Let New Orleans be inundated and relocate everything to Houston? You can't keep the Mississippi where it is forever, and wouldn't want to, but...


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:11 PM
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Yeah, it's the traditionally stabby part of town. Was wondering if crime was spreading.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:13 PM
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"Did you know that researchers in Roanoke Virginia have trained oysters to do simple household tasks?"

Did you know that Philippe Starck has an oyster farm that grows square oysters by enclosing them in little steel molds? Totally true.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:14 PM
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64: but, were that city to be almost totally destroyed, would it really make sense to rebuild it exactly where, and how, it was before? This is the question I found myself pondering.

66: hey, I'm reading that right now. You going to the reading next Monday?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:17 PM
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ooh, where?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:25 PM
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Coolidge Corner Theatre.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:27 PM
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Ima get my ticket tomorrow.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:29 PM
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71

In fact I just reserved it. Yay!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:31 PM
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72

Yikes. I wonder if it'll sell out. Wait, that theater seats like 560 people. Less worried now.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:31 PM
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73

URL to reservations?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:32 PM
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74

Call up the bookstore--they don't make you pay or anything, they just put one aside for you.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:34 PM
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I meant to include the phone:617-566-6660. or email events@brooklinebooksmith.com


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:35 PM
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76

67: You probably wouldn't. You might rebuild the touristy parts of the city, and maybe some of the big industrial facilities, but decide that large amounts of housing for the poor and unemployed could just as usefully be somewhere else. This involves the poor getting shafted, but...

I also wonder how much the disconnect between the educated classes and "industry" affects things. I certainly don't work in a field that would benefit from my office being located on the Mississippi River, and I'd imagine none of the other commenters here do either.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:37 PM
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Yeah, it's the traditionally stabby part of town.

True enough. Up the hill on Nob Hill they prefer to use the edge.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:42 PM
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78

76.1: mm hmm. Not a commonly held opinion on the left, as it turns out.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:42 PM
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78: No? I know there was tension between rebuilding the homes of the downtrodden residents of the Ninth Ward and doubling down on the inevitably losing battle against Mother Nature, but wasn't sure which course of action ended up with the official lefty seal of approval.

Naturally, the course of action in 76.1 could be presented as "in order to come up with a means of existence in closer cooperation with the environment of the Lower Mississippi, especially now that global warming is making hurricanes stronger and what we're doing now is causing the delta swampland to recede by x thousands of feet a year, New Orleans must rebuild smaller and smarter", rather than "screw the poor."


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:54 PM
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79.1: rebuilding, by hook or by crook, wherever people wanted to, pretty much won out. At least in my experience.

In my experience, 79.2 is not an argument many of the people involved (at least, the people who read the poor man) found all that compelling. Or at least it's not an argument they generally believed to have been offered in good faith.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 6:58 PM
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81

What, no love for hunter's point? Or is that the shooty neighborhood?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:11 PM
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82

It is apparently impossible for me to encounter the phrase "by hook or by crook" without thinking of The Prisoner. You're all fascinated to learn this, I'm sure.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:17 PM
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80.2:
Well, when a natural event turns a blue state red overnight, and after a while it stays that way, people are going to question motives. Of course, the idea that that particular location might not be ideal for a major city seems reasonable, but I moved away from the pacific rim.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:18 PM
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You know, I've talked this out plenty on my own blog, and shouldn't get into it here, but: I'm all for Democratic states staying Democratic, but do we really have to encourage the near-certain deaths of large numbers of poor people in order to accomplish that? Price seems a bit high.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:21 PM
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81: Exactly. And the Western Addition.

80: Hmm. I wonder how much of that, if any, was a tactical political response to some of the arguably tactical political behavior of the federal government?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:21 PM
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Sure, mock gun owners... but guys like this are the ones who are actively protecting our rights and making sure police don't overstep their bounds.

That video is awe-inspiring; it makes you think about how much the police depend on intimidation and bluster and people's ignorance of their rights at the grass roots level. Sure, those guys are focused on gun rights, but their principles apply equally to other activities you might like more — like, say, demonstrating against the Bush administration.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:25 PM
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85.2: well, right. But the end result was that people rebuilt where they were as best they could, or left, haphazardly, leaving nearly as many people at risk with way less services around to help them. The combination of a federal government that wanted to punt with local government (and activists) that had no real will to make (very) hard decisions is going to cost lives, I'm absolutely certain. And next time this happens, the city will become that much less of a going concern.

It just made me really sad to see these people saying "we need Cat 5 levees!" when that (a) might not even be possible, and (b) was always the least likely possible outcome. If there instead been a strong move to build higher density housing, and convert large swaths of the city (rich and poor) to flood-absorbing parkland, then maybe you'd have a New Orleans that could weather another hurricane without (pretty much literally) dying. Now? Not so much.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:26 PM
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84: I wasn't advocating the repopulation of NO, just speculating about others' suspicions of bad faith. Also, in case I was too subtle: you moved from one of the only spots on earth free from natural disasters to an area susceptible to drought, tsunami, wildfires and earthquakes. Do you have any hints for the rest of us on urban planning?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:28 PM
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Hmm... I'd have thought that there wasn't nearly enough space for meaningful flood absorption within the city limits, and that the parkland was going to be there to make the quality of life in the rest of the city better and not mind getting flooded.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:34 PM
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88: I did? I'm pretty sure I've never lived anyplace that's not prone to natural disasters of one kind or another.

Also, California's a big place. To call it uniformly susceptible to drought, tsunami, wildfires, and earthquakes is painting with a pretty darn massive brush.

In any case, to call the risk of earthquake in (say) San Francisco equivalent to the risk of a major Hurricane in New Orleans is to elide some rather dramatic differences between the two events, such as, oh I dunno, potential frequency of occurence.

New Orleans is the most pressing example of an issue that's going to come up again and again, and we can either set a precedent of fighting against the tide well past the point that it makes any logical sense to do so, losing lives in the process, or we can start to think about how we're going to deal with a sea that will increasingly encroach upon our treasured places. Option B seems better to me, but hey, what do I know.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:41 PM
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89: well, much of the city isn't below sea level; the parkland would have just been something to put on the parts of the city that will inevitably flood (Lakeview, the lower 9th, NO East) that nobody would much mind seeing destroyed again and again.

The whole process is just so insane. I was hearing on the radio about how the State of Florida basically took over the home insurance business in that state, because no private insurers will take on the risk. It's a huge, huge gamble on the idea that Florida will not, in fact, be flattened by another hurricane, an eventuality that is, like, certain.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:44 PM
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we can either set a precedent of fighting against the tide well past the point that it makes any logical sense to do so, losing lives in the process, or we can start to think about how we're going to deal with a sea that will increasingly encroach upon our treasured places.

Can't we also sacrifice young virgins to the sea-gods, to see if we can appease their fury?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:44 PM
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93

I'm not going to broach the subject, Brock, but you're welcome to.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:46 PM
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I'm not going to broach the subject

See, it's this very distrust of religion that keeps us losing elections.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:48 PM
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90: Sure, we oughta move NO upriver a few miles. The Mississippi's navigable, no big deal. That said, the earthquake will hit the bay area within the next 30 years (I thought you lived in SoCal anyway), most likely sooner. Once it does, we won't have to worry about another big one for a while, but until then it is not a matter of if, but when. Try taking out some earthquake insurance in CA.

Also, maybe I'm living in a fools paradise, but what major disasters is Somerville subject to? We get the ass end of a hurricane every few years, but that's about it AFAIK.

Anyway, I was just giving you shit. If I disagreed w/ your NO assessment I'd let you know.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:53 PM
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The whole process is just so insane. I was hearing on the radio about how the State of Florida basically took over the home insurance business in that state, because no private insurers will take on the risk. It's a huge, huge gamble on the idea that Florida will not, in fact, be flattened by another hurricane, an eventuality that is, like, certain.

I thought that there was also a big shift toward hurricane-resistant/proof construction in Florida, expressly to mitigate the damage from future hurricanes. The government is in a better position to institute building code changes and just jack up property taxes if it comes to that. Risk spreading and redistribution.

But if it's a democracy, and people want to keep on living the way they are (which they seem to very much want to do so), what can you do?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 7:54 PM
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95.2 I take it you didn't live there in '78? Also, just because people in Boston are used to 3 day deluges and crippling ice storms doesn't mean they don't count. Also also, you don't remember the floods last year? Also also also, let's hope the Atlantic doesn't get too much warmer, or those Hurricane asses are going get a lot beefier.

Which is not to mention the network of faults under the eastern US.

Oh, and heat waves! How could I forget heat waves? They always kill a few people.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:01 PM
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98

96.3: not subsidize them, is all I can think of.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:02 PM
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99

96.3: shoot them into space.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:09 PM
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Oh, well, sure. You can always play the space card.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:12 PM
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98 is correct, of course, but 97 is clearly insane. Sure, ice storms suck, but they're predictable, and they keep the homeless in check. Floods happen all over the damn place. Natural disaster, to me, means some big fuck off force of nature that requires the national guard. I've been through two (or three) major ones when I was living in the BA, and so far, anything in MA that can be solved by calling in sick doesn't count.

btw, I seem to have got my discourse switch set on mode:ARGUE today, so ignore me if necessary.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:13 PM
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101: National Guard, eh?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:16 PM
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Point taken.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:22 PM
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Bostonians have to watch out for molasses floods. Though of course they aren't natural disasters.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:23 PM
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This was pretty insane, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:26 PM
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104: best disaster ever.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:27 PM
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My grandmother kept gallon cartons of molasses around the house: West Indian influence. Half her family moved to Boston, where my nearest cousins, whom I haven't spoken with in nearly forty years live. She would butter two slices of bread, and just pour it on thick as pancake syrup for lunch nearly every day. Family recipes, like Baked Beans and Brown Bread, call for copious amounts of it. The odor takes me back to childhood, but I hardly ever encounter it today. Is it still big in Boston?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 8:59 PM
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Not as far as I know. I had baked beans and brown bread as a kid, of course, but putting it on bread... that's pretty weird.

I thought Molasses kind of went out with the triangular trade route?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:05 PM
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Baked beans? Really? I thought that was an ugly stereotype.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:08 PM
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Molasses, codfish, rum, and slaves. Mmmmmmmmm.

There's a molasses flood in one of W.C. Fields' movies. Bratty kids do that.

Also, indigo and ginseng.

Also, furs.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:09 PM
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Although, to be fair, re: ugly stereotypes, I'm still traumatized by the week in third grade when my mom replaced my PB&J w/ pesto because she had extra she had to get rid of.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:11 PM
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Are baked beans made with molasses an unusual food? In our family it was a standard treat.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:14 PM
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I would certainly not have imagined baked beans were unusual. I used to eat 'em all the time. Mmm, chunk of pork fat.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:23 PM
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Mmmm, baked beans.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:30 PM
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You fuckers made me hungry. But do they have baked beans in the vending machine? No they do not. The closest thing to baked beans they had was Fritos. So now I'm eating Fritos, which I don't even really like. Blah.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:34 PM
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You could cover them in Molasses.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:39 PM
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Mmm, I like Fritos.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:41 PM
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We had baked beans every time we had hamburgers or lamb chops, when I was a kid. Everyone found the little pieces of pork fat disgusting and nobody ate them.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:44 PM
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Meanwhile, when I was a kid, I ate salt pork on pasta as a snack. (This was a dish of my own invention.)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:46 PM
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The vending machine might have Baked Beans candy. Who thought that Baked Beans would be a great model for confectionery? Probably a NE thing.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:47 PM
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117: damn things are surprisingly addictive--I just bought myself a second bag.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:50 PM
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One of the appealing things about Fritos is that they are made of nothing but corn, corn oil, and salt.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:50 PM
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I accidentally convinced otherwise rational people that we were suing Wendys from the future.

Will you be getting food poisoning? Slipping and falling? finding body parts in the chili?

That video is awe-inspiring; it makes you think about how much the police depend on intimidation and bluster and people's ignorance of their rights at the grass roots level.

It does make you think, what am I required to provide if the police decide to gratuitously stop me. One of you people who just took the bar must know this answer!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:52 PM
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I was the guy who'd eat the pork fat.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:53 PM
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Who thought that Baked Beans would be a great model for confectionery? Probably a NE thing.

The Chicago Eye-talians of Ferrara Pan. They're made by the "panning" process, the same technique used to make jelly beans or Lemonheads, only instead of starting out with sugar, the Boston Baked Beans start with a delicious cheap peanut.

Speaking of Lemonheads, I understand why they retired Cherry Chan and Peppermint Coolies, but "Grapeheads" is a vastly worse name than "http://www.candywrappermuseum.com/alex.html">Alexander the Grape and makes me think of Evan Dando and Julianna Hatfield. Do I want to eat tiny grape-flavored Evan Dando and Julianna Hatfields? Well, yes, but only on rare occasions. Poorly selected, Ferrara Pan!


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 9:56 PM
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123: they stole the name of my time machine for their new sandwich.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:01 PM
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I had no idea baked beans had such a constituency. To me, they are a canned good to be found in remote outposts, preferable to spam but inferior to soup.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:10 PM
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Not that the household of my youth was high-class. The highlight of our menu was the mystery enchilada: the meat might be suspect, but if sufficient chilis were deployed no one was the wiser.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:13 PM
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Molasses can be dangerous.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:13 PM
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Fritos and Doritos burn readily -- handy information in an emergency, but knowing how much combustible fuel they contain may put you off eating them.

Amusing Tenderloin story: I needed to find a room in SF for a night, and my wife said she knew just the place, a Pensione Somethingorother. This was early in our marriage, before I learned the delightful quirks of her memory. So I get to town late at night and wander in search of Pensione S., which turns out to be a filthy dive in the Tenderloin. Fun. We later stayed at the Pension S. she had been thinking of, a charming little European-style place on Market with the same (or at least a very similar) name. At the Market St. Pensione S., we didn't get a call from the prostitute upstairs offering her services as I had at the other place, so if you're looking for really attentive customer service, I'd recommend the Tenderloin location, even if the neighborhood is stabby.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:25 PM
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126: Bastards!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:36 PM
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Ferrara Pan. Yeah, I vaguely recall the name on the boxes. Chicago. That's a surprise

As I got older I've gone from thinking that everywhere had the items unique to my part of the country (Charleston Chews, Skybars, Necco Wafers, Mallo Cups, Wood-framed 3-decker houses, &c.) to thinking that all the items from my youth must have been local to {Boston, Mass., New England, or the North East}.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:37 PM
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Fritos + Beans + Cheese = Frito Pie. Delicious.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:46 PM
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Hmmm, it looks like the story that frito pie was invented at the Woolworth's on the Santa Fe plaza is unlikely to be true. Still a good story, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:48 PM
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Because I keep company with such a high-brow set, we were earlier tonight trying to come up with new names for suggestive phrases, the kind one might find on Urbandictionary.com. The phrases were based on place names, so the Santa Fe Frito Pie would've been a good one. My own personal favorite: The Missouri Compromise.

(This is the classiest thing I've ever said here; you're welcome.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:55 PM
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What about the "Bleeding Kansas"?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:58 PM
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The Kansas-Nebraska Act.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 10:59 PM
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I can't tell you how many tims I've had a "Whiskey Rebellion"


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:00 PM
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The Chattanooga Choo-Choo.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:01 PM
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The Connecticut Compromise (like the Missouri Compromise, but WASPier).


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:02 PM
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The Tucumcari Tonight.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:02 PM
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The Clovis Point.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:03 PM
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Now, you're stretching.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:04 PM
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The Elephant Butte Lake.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:04 PM
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Are these supposed to be actual phrases associated with place names that can be made to sound dirty with the right intonation?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:05 PM
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The Roswell Incident.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:05 PM
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The Taos Hum.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:05 PM
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You're clearly having too much fun with this, teo.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:06 PM
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I get my kicks where I can.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:07 PM
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Are these supposed to be actual phrases associated with place names that can be made to sound dirty with the right intonation?

I think the funniest ones are like that. There other ones (e.g., The Alaskan Cold Hold) that are just plain prurient. Also good: The Iranian Sausage Crisis


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:08 PM
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The Albany Ham Scam.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:09 PM
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Better: The Albany Plan of Union.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:09 PM
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The California Proposition was under-appreciated in my estimation.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:09 PM
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The Louisville Slugger.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:09 PM
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The Louisiana Refund: also proposed. And funny.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:10 PM
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The Cumberland Gap.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:10 PM
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The Erie Canal.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:11 PM
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Teabag Dome?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:11 PM
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The Texas Manhandle.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:12 PM
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The Jism Trail.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:13 PM
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Where's apo when you need him?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:14 PM
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The Las Vegas Strip.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:20 PM
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The Brooklyn Bridge.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:20 PM
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The Bronx Bomber.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:20 PM
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The Houston Rocket.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:22 PM
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The Mississippi Burning.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:22 PM
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The Natchez Trace.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:23 PM
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Apparently teo should be hanging out in my backyard more often than he currently is.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:23 PM
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As if there were ever any doubt.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:24 PM
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The Miami Heat.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:25 PM
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The Orlando Magic.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:25 PM
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The Dearborn Independent.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:26 PM
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The San Francisco Treat.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:26 PM
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The Sacramento Bee.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:27 PM
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The Ithaca Gun.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:27 PM
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Teo goes insane about this time every night, If one is to take seriously every one of teo's phrases as the sexual euphemism it as presented as we all would be constantly fucking. we would be engaged in:
Continental Congress

/rimshot/


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:27 PM
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132: doesn't every city have a "skybar" or skyebar"?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:28 PM
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Teo goes insane about this time every night

Yep.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:33 PM
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"The Sacramento Bee." s/b "The Sacramento B."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:36 PM
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B doesn't live in Sacramento, silly.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:37 PM
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That's why it's special.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:38 PM
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Teo, you're undergrad right?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:38 PM
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FM: if you'd been reading, you'd know that teo hasn't been under anyone, let alone a grad. [/zing!]

(He's been graduated.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:43 PM
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Stanley is correct. I have been graduated but have never been under (or over) anyone.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:46 PM
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Teo, you are in a good position. You need not spam anybody.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:50 PM
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The Necco SkyBar was a wonder: 4 candy bars in one. A choolate bar with fillings of Caramel, Vanilla, Peanut, and Fudge. You could break them into separate pieces and extend the pleasure. Wiki.

How could a kid pass it up?


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:51 PM
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You need not spam anybody.

Come again?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-13-07 11:56 PM
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The Continental Divide.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:17 AM
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You were kinda posting frequently. You are in a good position because you are a young male college graduate. I would recommend following the advice of everyone else: hang out with grads of your kind. If, for whatever reason, that doesn't work, I'd then recommend fucking off to South America. There's a certain dynamic among travelers that a)doesn't promise anything and b)doesn't fuck anybody over.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:24 AM
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If teo gets laid the blog might die. Hang back, FM.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:34 AM
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It's like the Grail legend.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:37 AM
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The Grail Legend.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:39 AM
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The Houston Oiler.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:47 AM
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The Chicago Bares.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:48 AM
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Oh, sorry. Teo: obsess about how you look naked. Also, obsess about the size of your cock. Obsess about rejection. Better to bitch than face humiliation, my man, (there, is the blog safe now?)


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:49 AM
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The Alabama Crimson Tide?
The Ypres Salient?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 3:21 AM
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Where's apo when you need him?

Sleeping, strangely enough.

The Mariana Trench.
The Love Canal.
And the less said about Apo Island, the better.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:00 AM
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The Seattle Space Needle.
The Arkansas Razorback.
The Baked Alaska.
The Maine Lobster.
The Montreal Expo.

Carl's bad cavern.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:15 AM
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The Nevada State Line.
The Greek Salad.
The Russian Bear.
The Nevsky Prospekt.
The Trans-Siberian Railroad.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:19 AM
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The Texas Longhorn.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:33 AM
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The Carolina Tarheel.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:38 AM
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The Brasilia Massif


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:40 AM
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The Santa Cruz Mystery Spot


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:42 AM
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It does make you think, what am I required to provide if the police decide to gratuitously stop me. One of you people who just took the bar must know this answer!

Nothing. But, almost every person consents to a search of their car. Most people confess. It is really amazing.

Will: "Why did you admit that you murdered him?!?!?!!"

Client: "because they said they would go easier on me."

Will: "Dumbass. Didnt you listen to the advice I gave your mother, brother, uncle, cousin?!?!!??!"


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 6:44 AM
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The Mason Dicks Online.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:02 AM
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The Big Easy
The Big Muddy


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:03 AM
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A Prarie Home Companion


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:03 AM
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The Boston Pop


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:08 AM
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The West Coast Swing


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:08 AM
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The Bay of Pigs


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:10 AM
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The Old Faithful


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:11 AM
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The Snake River Canyon


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:12 AM
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The Grand Tetons
The Appalachian Spring
The Appalachian Trail
The Dismal Swamp


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:12 AM
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The Lincoln Tunnel
The A-Train, the F-Train, etc.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:14 AM
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The Donner Party


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:15 AM
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There's a feeling of Harry-Potteresque déjà vu ...


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:29 AM
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The Inner City Project
The Ghetto Blaster
The Urban Sprawl
The Urban Blight
The Strip Mall
The Tender Loin


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:31 AM
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216: Eh?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:34 AM
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Is there any phrase associated with a place name that does not satisfy 145?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:35 AM
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The Brooklyn Botanical Garden. If you can make that sound dirty with the right delivery, you're a better man than I am.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:38 AM
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re: 218

I'm bad-temper'dly alluding to conversations that carry on too long on a single topic. Not enough or too much coffee for me today, or something.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:39 AM
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221: Oh good. I thought maybe I'd missed some "Harry Potter as Porn" thread or something.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:41 AM
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These were thought up on a long-ago Unfogged thread, but:

Huddled masses
Lifting my lamp beside the golden door


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:44 AM
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The Brooklyn Botanical Garden? Really, LB? Come on, that more suggestive than 3/4 of what's in this thread. That's actually a pretty good one.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:47 AM
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I missed the "Geographic places that sound like sexual euphemisms" discussion? Damn it, and I'm the only one here who grew up within 15 miles of Sugar Notch, PA.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:48 AM
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Is there any phrase associated with a place name that does not satisfy 145?

The Königsberg Bridge Problem


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:50 AM
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226: you people just lack imagination. I'm getting a little turned on just thinking about the "Königsberg Bridge Problem", IYKWIM, AIKYD.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:52 AM
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204: I am pretty sure there was a recent supreme court case that basically said you did have to give ID to the police if they ask.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:54 AM
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227: How about Salt Lake City? That turn you on?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:55 AM
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229: okay, you win.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:57 AM
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It does make you think, what am I required to provide if the police decide to gratuitously stop me.

This site has very sensible advice on how to survive (figuratively and literally) an encounter with the police. Particularly recommended for tokers.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 7:59 AM
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230: Bigot.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:07 AM
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The Shanghai Surprise
The London Stock Exchange
The Paris Meat Row
The Hong Kong Phooie
The Bang Cock
The Singa Pour
The Koala Lumper
The Dublin Down
The Leaning Tower


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:15 AM
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An old government teacher of mine said that, if you refuse to consent to a search, that is grounds for a search.

I don't know if it's true, but if it isn't, I'm surprised the police haven't thought of that yet. Catch-22s rule!


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:17 AM
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Actually it might have been grounds to impound your car and go to a judge for a search warrant. Which is even more inconvenient.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:18 AM
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I'm a little late to this game, but this tourist attraction in Greenbrier County, West Virginia, surely fits the bill.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:20 AM
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Lake Titticaca


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:34 AM
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Blueball, Intercourse, and Paradise, all in Pennsylvania.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:36 AM
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Spanish Tapass


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:37 AM
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on 231 and police searches:
IME the police seem to often respect these boundaries. As an undergrad, I was once writing a paper with concentration and only slowly noticed vaguely that some man in a suit was yelling loud obscenities under my window. About 2 minutes later, there was a knock at the door. A policeman, in a very loud voice. "Have you been urinating out that window??"
I stare at him.
"Do you have any men in there? Are you SURE?"
And then he left. He had been noticeably careful to stay on his side of the threshold the whole time. It was kind of sweet. In an annoying way.


Posted by: mrmf | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:43 AM
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The Swedish Meatball


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:43 AM
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The Philadelphia Mint
The Fremont Street Experience
The Rhodesian Ridgeback


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:44 AM
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The Hungarian Goo Lash


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 8:45 AM
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The German Auto Bond
The 'Course I Can, Brothers
The Nice Try
The Manila Fold Her
The Coat D'Ivoire
The Czech Please


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 9:39 AM
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The Lille Sumpin' Sumpin'


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 9:41 AM
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The Shanghai Foreign Concession


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 9:42 AM
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Norwegian Wood
Ukranian Ball Corral
The Finnish Line
The Holland Daze
The Bologna Sandwich
The Belgian Waffle
The Dutch Treat
The French Connection
The Paris Commune
The Piece of Westphalia


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 11:03 AM
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Nice work, people. M/tch: you get the golden star, obviously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 11:41 AM
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The Golden Star.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 11:42 AM
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Yeah, I don't know why you were hankering after apo up there in 161.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 12:58 PM
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Yeah, this is really M/tch's specialty. Historically, I have mostly just provided the performance space.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 1:06 PM
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Maybe he thought you were my agent.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 1:25 PM
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And then he left. He had been noticeably careful to stay on his side of the threshold the whole time. It was kind of sweet. In an annoying way.

Maybe he was not really a police officer, but a vampire!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-14-07 1:27 PM
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An old government teacher of mine said that, if you refuse to consent to a search, that is grounds for a search.

"I consent to this search. I'm just not going to let you do it."
That'll puzzle 'em...


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-15-07 6:56 AM
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An old government teacher of mine said that, if you refuse to consent to a search, that is grounds for a search.

I don't know if it's true, but if it isn't, I'm surprised the police haven't thought of that yet. Catch-22s rule

That is a lie told to the citizen by the police so that the citizen will consent.

The police are allowed to lie to you in order to get you to consent.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 08-15-07 7:03 AM
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I think it's really interesting how British rights differ from American ones in this respect. (What I know about the British system derives exclusively from watching crime dramas on television.)

In the U.S., one you are in custody, you're "read your rights," i.e. given your Miranda warnings. The basic line is, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."

The UK version is more like. "You have the right to remain silent, but if you later rely on something in your defense, that's grounds for X."


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 08-15-07 9:15 AM
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An old government teacher of mine said that, if you refuse to consent to a search, that is grounds for a search.

I do know that this one is not true. You have a right to refuse consent and that refusal does not establish probable cause. There's an Illinois case called People v. Turnipseed from the mid-90's, however, which illustrates why this is irrelevant. I can't find it online however, and can't pull it up on Westlaw without charging it to some client (and, no, I will not just charge it to some client). The dissent is a must read, if anyone wants to hunt it down. Basic conclusion: whether or not you consent, there's nothing but integrity to prevent the cops from saying you did. In some cases, that means more than in others.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 08-15-07 12:34 PM
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