Monday's a holiday? I guess the office will be nice and quiet, then.
Yeah, ogged, you bastard. Some of us have to work anyway. "Labor Day" my foot.
finding money in an old jacket pocket
I like finding ticket stubs in jacket pockets. Ticket stubs from the opera are always in my cummerbund pocket, of course, but for less formal events I might wear a suit, and then when I do again later I find reminders of entertainments past.
You must like your job more than I do. I've been counting down the days all month.
You must like your job more than I do. I've been counting down the days all month.
I like double-posting more.
I actually like my new job, as it gives me more free time, which I often would like to use on work.
Ticket stubs from the opera are always in my cummerbund pocket
Ridiculous. Ticket stubs from the opera should be in your ticket stubs from the opera pocket. Nothing should be in your cummerbund pocket except your cummerbund.
Yeah, I'm psyched. But holidays for me are always more like "thank god, I can sleep in" than "we should go somewhere." Of course I feel guilty about this because everyone else always seems to be going somewhere, but I'm starting to think that everyone else is somehow living in an alternate universe.
The flip side to this is the feeling when you discover that Monday is a holiday for your school-aged children, but not for you, and have to scramble desperately for a place to bring them for the day.
Of course I feel guilty about this because everyone else always seems to be going somewhere,
There's a lot more of them than there is of you.
Even better when you live in a state with a bunch of extra holidays. My office observes 13 this year and 14 next year (election day is a holiday in election years).
"thank god, I can sleep in"
I remember sleeping in. I miss it.
Summer's over. I'm sad. I won't get another month-and-a-half off for another three whole months. I'll have to make do with Labor day, fall break, and Thanksgiving break.
I won't get another month-and-a-half off for another three whole months.
Please quit feeding the beast, heebie.
You people talking about not sleeping in are not helping me with this theory I have about how maybe it would be nice to have another kid, you know.
It's lovely to have another kid. (Obligatory twitticism: "They're delicious!") Only, not because of the sleeping in.
B, sleep in if you want to. Let the overachieving fuckers give themselves heart attacks trying to rush off somewhere so they can relax if they want but it's a fool's game they're playing.
You can sleep in with a baby. Just not with a 2-year-old.
21: RMcMP, please come beat some sense into Roberta.
If you don't give PK a sibling, he won't have anyone to commiserate with about how crazy you are.
For a second, I thought 21 was to 19. That woulda been awfully harsh.
Let the overachieving fuckers give themselves heart attacks trying to rush off somewhere
In this case, the overachievers rushing off somewhere are the under 6 y.o. set, dude.
You can sleep in with a baby. Just not with a 2-year-old.
Oh, PK was always a night person; it's the fucking school schedule that kills me. Which isn't going anywhere for TEN MORE YEARS.
TEN MORE YEARS
Eighteen more here. But that doesn't really bother me; it's the getting up and going to work five days a week for the next 30 years that seems Kafkaesque.
27: Dude, I meant those people whom B referenced when she said, "I feel guilty about this because everyone else always seems to be going somewhere." I took her to mean people over the age of 6 who are planning independent activities of the structured, recreational variety.
26 is quite right, that would have been very harsh. I am not harsh. I am supple and pliant.
23: Are we talking payment in wine, here, or what? We can make this happen. I wouldn't beat her up, obviously, but I could argue drunkenly. I'll bring my own big-ass plastic cup, even, as you well know.
Oh, and the effort of getting multiple children ready in the morning increases exponentially, not linearly. On the other hand, holding babies makes me go all teary with happiness.
28: It's funny, at thirtysix I've already hit the "Hey, where did the last decade go?" feeling. Mine will be in college in another dozen years, and I'm already worrying about that. (and looking forward to the sleeping in bit. Forty-eight is still youthful and ready to enjoy the empty nest, right?)
31: Mmm. Babies are good. And they do hit a point where it gets easier. At eight and six, someone has to shout occasionally to keep the process moving, but dressing and so forth happens without a lot of management.
30: You entitled gay men and your childfree lives. I hate you.
31: Exponentially??? Do you have to get up at 3 am or something? Because I cannot imagine it being more of a pain in the butt than it is. Sometimes it's like the only way to get clothes on that kid is to talk him through it the entire way.
True, babies are awesome. So obviously the proper course of action is to send them off to boarding school so that you can think wistfully about them and then enjoy them over the summer until you get sick of dealing with them and send them away again in the fall.
I cannot imagine it being more of a pain in the butt than it is
It's like the proverbial frog in the slowly heating water. You don't notice how bad it's getting until the bubbles are bursting all around you.
Dude, I meant those people whom B referenced
Sorry, I'd lost the, er, thread.
32: Mom's 52 and just shuttled off the youngest to college and is alternately happy ('we did it! I survived!') and at sixes and sevens trying to figure out what to do with herself ('do you think I need to call her at school? maybe I'll text her so her friends won't laugh.')
3: "Labor Day" my foot.
Stanley said "my foot"!
I haven't heard that phrase in ages.
It's so delightfully nostalgic that I don't even care to wonder what the hell it's supposed to mean.
And yet somehow people manage to get themselves dressed in suits and ties and arrive at work looking all polished and shit. Whereas if I can find a clean bra, I'm doing well.
32, 38: My parents became empty nesters in their 50s, and they seem to be enjoying it pretty well.
40 to 36, since the parents in this thread seem to be having a hard time keeping up with what all's being said.
My father got a triple bypass a few years ago and suddenly, at slightly past 60, both he and my mother turned as spry as teenagers. I suspect they started having sex again. They now take long, romantic vacations several times a year.
I doubt it was the bypass. I bet it was just that they're finally getting enough sleep.
Well, probably the bypass helped. McManly, you *almost killed your father*.
I have to say that I love the feeling I had this morning of coming in to work and finding out that Monday is a holiday
This used to happen to me all the time in France, especially in the month of May. "What? Tomorrow's a holiday? Didn't we just have one last week? Oh, the festival of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary! Of course! How could I have forgotten?"
More than once I actually started to go to work before realizing that the streets were empty because it was a holiday.
Pffffft, one time among dozens. He has been thrown from or smacked around by a number of vehicles while I had the wheel. One time I managed to pop a wheelie with a tractors while he was (stupidly) standing on the back and he flew a little ways. I'm not dangerous, B, I'm just a new evolutionary pressure.
And with that fond reminiscence of rural life I bid you all a fond adieu for three delightful days.
holidays for me are always more like "thank god, I can sleep in" than "we should go somewhere." Of course I feel guilty about this because everyone else always seems to be going somewhere, but I'm starting to think that everyone else is somehow living in an alternate universe.
That's why God gave us hobbies like fly fishing, which are properly done in the evening.
Also, my youngest just turned 8. I'm 31. Empty nest when I'm just past 40. Bwahahaha.
the parents in this thread seem to be having a hard time keeping up
In my defense, one of the evolutionary pressures got us up at 5 AM.
Just for saying that, Mrs. Swift is going to get herself knocked up at 39. Watch.
I suspect they started having sex again.
Robusto! Watch your dirty mouth! What a thing to say about your own mother!!!1!!11!
Just for saying that, Mrs. Swift is going to get herself knocked up at 39.
God I need get a vasectomy.
Just for saying that, Mrs. Swift is going to get herself knocked up at 39. Watch.
Ha, we can but hope.
My youngest turns 18 a couple of months before I hit 50. Which is also the year the mortgage is paid off. It's the only thing that keeps me going some days.
I can has vasectomy?
I keep telling my husband he needs one, but apparently he's too scared. My response of "Man up!" didn't go down very well.
"[Chronic Post-Vasectomy Pain] is similar to the sensation of being mildly struck in the testicles and can last from a few months to many years."
58 was to nothing in particular, but it should have been to 57.
58: Pregnancy is similar to the sensation of having a medicine ball up your jumper and all your joints being slowly pulled apart and the effects will hopefully last for many years and cost you a fucking fortune and ruin those looked-forward-to years of freedom in your middle age.
But B, if you want another one, then it's a great idea!
60: You win. Cut off his balls while he's sleeping.
I keep telling my husband he needs one, but apparently he's too scared. My response of "Man up!" didn't go down very well.
My wife keeps getting cold feet on that front. "What if we want to have one more?" "But I'm tired of using condoms with my girlfriend" similarly did not go well.
One of my unmarried friends had his a couple years ago. Decided that if for some reason he wanted kids he could always date single moms.
60: My wife had natural childbirth, and while in labor she made a mental note to herself to tell her sister that it really, really, really hurt. But after the fact she had no regrets, and the next day she felt great and had lots of energy.
_________________ is similar to the sensation of being mildly struck in the testicles and can last from a few months to many years.
The birth bit was fine, and mostly I liked being pregnant too. But we've got 4 of the fuckers already! He can't even have any more with his next wife because he won't be able to afford it. But ignore me, I'm bitter this week because I just got a Mirena fitted and it was the most unpleasant experience of my life.
Stepfathers who actually want to be stepfathers are in very high demand.
I just got a Mirena fitted
Roberta got one of those about a month ago. She found the experience pretty unpleasant as well, but it's all good now. Hooray for IUDs!
So you're a big wuss as well then apo?
Right, I'm going to bed to berate the man I'm actually pissed off at.
She could have gotten her tubes tied when they had her open for the C-section, but was unwilling to get it done. As for me, I make such pretty children that it would be a crime against man and god to burn that bridge completely.
There's not enough pudding in the world for all of apo's adorable progeny. For the sake of pudding, apo: snip it.
At least strike yourself mildly in the testicles periodically for several years.
74: I have children to do that for me.
Holidays depress me, since I don't get them. You mean, I don't get to see my shrink on Monday, because it's Labor Day? That thought was what was keeping me together.
Crazy boss has moved one step closer to firing me. I'll have difficulty transferrign to a new store because of company policy even though one team leader I spoke with knew to discount the warnigns, becasue they came from S.
Oh, BG, I'm sorry. That sucks.
Also, my youngest just turned 8. I'm 31. Empty nest when I'm just past 40. Bwahahaha.
God I'm envious. I've been a good girl my whole life and done everything the way people say you're supposed to, and I'm only now realizing that I shouldn't have been listening to them.
60 gets it right. I want another kid, but I'm not really looking forward to that being-knocked-up thing.
I can has vasectomy?
I've been meaning to get one for a while.
Two kids is enough for me.
77: Yeah, I get wistful about a gswift-like lifecycle sometimes -- a couple of kids in your early twenties, out of the house in your early forties, grandchildren when you're still young enough to take them sailing and so on (although my parents do spectacularly on that front, so just staying healthy into your sixties and seventies is an alternative there). Organizing it is just awfully complicated.
I should have married my high school best friend; we could have lived in his parents' palatial apartment on the Upper West Side, and had kids and gone to grad school at the same time. OTOH, the kids wouldn't have been as pretty as the ones I have now.
not really looking forward to that being-knocked-up thing
I'm telling you, both of my wives loved being pregnant. I'm increasingly convinced that pregnancies I cause are better than all the rest. Call me, B.
Kids born while you are young. Or kids born while you are old. Or no kids at all.
Each has benefits.
Killing innocent water buffalo is too great a price to pay for good health.
Samuel Johnson has a depressing essay from the Rambler about how it's understandable that women might want to avoid getting married, enjoy life as a single woman, wait to have kids, and so forth, but that it always ends in misery. He also thinks getting married young and having kids immediately also always ends in misery. Likewise remaining single forever: misery.
But, since misery loves company, it all works out.
apropos 84
"Marry, and you will regret it.
Do not marry, and you will also regret it.
Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way.
Whether you marry or you do not marry, you will regret it either way.
Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it;
weep over them, and you will also regret it.
Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way.
Whether you laugh at the stupidities of the world or you weep over them, you will regret it either way.
Trust a girl, and you will regret it.
Do not trust her, and you will also regret it.
Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way.
Whether you trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way.
Hang yourself, and you will regret it.
Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it.
Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way.
Whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
Soren Kierkegaard