This just makes the NSFW above-the-fold situation worse, dude.
I want to know if you hid your laughter with these guys like you did with the little kid.
Shouldn't your pool be closed on Labor Day to allow those lifeguards a day off? Unionize now, lifeguards!
"Shh! I'm peeing."
"Shh! I have an unwanted erection."
Some people are so incurious. He's had most of a century to figure out how to pee on the go.
I was going to muse about how an unwanted erection might effect one's swimming form, but I guess it would act much like a centerboard.
Or, depending on the depth of the pool and the length of the tool, an anchor.
The angle of the dangle is proportional to the heat of the meat coefficient of drag.
Actually, that'd depend on the Reynolds number.
Burt's mustache would also generate a lot of drag. Looks like Osborne's would, too. Though the baldness might be an advantage.