Re: A Prayer Before Dying

1

another clear vindication of the second amendment.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:04 AM
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I wouldn't worry Ogged; they were fighting over a woman.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:05 AM
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Besides, you know that armless dude was totally practicing his headbutt every day.

m, they don't say if he had a steel plate in his head


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:09 AM
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4

What's up with the "m," stuff, max?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:13 AM
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Noob.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:14 AM
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Sort of reminds me of that weird exchange on ObWi yesterday, about what is our boys to do with themselves in Iraq? Contrary to what was asserted there, were I armless I'd think a woman worth fighting for, for strictly practical reasons.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:16 AM
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me? still? This noob stigma takes forever to wear off.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:16 AM
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8

Maybe it stands for "meta". He doesn't trust us to understand what he's doing there on our own (and he was right, too).


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:17 AM
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9

This woman must be a real prize. Her suitors are an armless dude and a guy who can't defend himself from an armless dude.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:17 AM
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10

9: I apologize to my followers for my involvement in this story. It is left to the reader to determine whether I was slumming or whether this is representative of my true high quality.


Posted by: Jacqueline Parker Posey Paisley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:20 AM
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11

The armless guy is Armsmasher's krytonite.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:20 AM
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11: Yeah, he has no arms for Armsmasher to mash, but Armsmasher still has a chest for The Head to butt. No contest.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:25 AM
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13

Also, 10 made me laugh out loud silently to myself.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:26 AM
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14

13--
i would have liked to hear that inaudible noise.


Posted by: kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:29 AM
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15

13: That's because you are a bad person.


Posted by: imposter syndrome | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:30 AM
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So awesome. My brother is a cop in a town only 15 miles or so from Snellville. Hopefully he'll hear some details.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:38 AM
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17

Zidane y va marquer.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:43 AM
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15: a low-quality person.


Posted by: Jacqueline Parker Posey Paisley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:43 AM
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11-12: No, see, he had huge arms before.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:43 AM
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20

9, 10: Damn, I nearly dropped the baby.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:44 AM
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21

Dear Lord,

Please grant me the good fortune to have this fight show up on YouTube.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 9:52 AM
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22

9: armless dudes can be pretty tough.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 10:02 AM
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21: It doesn't sound like much of a fight. A headbutt to the chest, a guy falls down, the other one runs away.

He did get a running start for the headbutt. I can see Hollywood making a funny scene out if it, with the armless man bending over and running forward, then cut to a POV from the armless man as he barrels into the guys chest like a smart bomb making and "aarrrg" noise.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 10:17 AM
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And the sister of the deceased described it as a "fist fight." She'll make a great witness at trial.

"Ma'am, you are aware that the defendant does not actually have any fists, right?"


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 10:19 AM
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22: As our friends from the islands might say: The armless are not 'armless.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 10:27 AM
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26

Proverb learned in junior high school:

"I thought I was poor because I had no woman. Then I met a man who had no hands."


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 10:40 AM
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27

ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.


Posted by: Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:14 AM
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28

I wonder if You Tube has the bar scene form Bad Day at Black Rock. Either Lee Marvin or Robert Ryan...no it was Borgnine got his ass kicked, Spencer had one arm but I don't think he used it, and in fact taunted his opponent with:"I'll take you with one arm behind my back." Tho I may have made that up. I think Spencer Tracy got instructions from Harry...the guy who won the Oscar for Best Days of Our Lives.
Or not.

Fucking great tough guy movie.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:17 AM
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29

I'm shocked that neither Ogged, Becks, or LB has posted this story:

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/09/18/shrinking_breasts/


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:18 AM
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@28: Love Cold War movies where everybody's complicit. And the crime was murdering a Japanese guy during the war, too.

@29: I'm sure it's been referred to here several times.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:22 AM
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31

From a different subdivision:

laundry squabble


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:27 AM
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32

Noob.

It never fails! It might even be a good convo starter, except... it isn't.

Maybe it stands for "meta". He doesn't trust us to understand what he's doing there on our own (and he was right, too).

Murder Most Fowl! Madcap Mastication! Many Mad Mutterings! Morph and Morph Again! They Shoot M's, Don't They? Multitude of Mendacious Midgets! My So-Called Economy!

What's up with the "m," stuff, max?

I was going for understatement suave mystery toning it down LESS LOUD, but obviously that didn't work. Back to the brackets.

Unless you're asking the other question ... and the short answer IS! I always sign my posts. So I can get away with handles like 'OPINIONATED MECHA-GOJIRA VERSUS GOLDBERG' and 'Death, Be Not Irritating and Annoying and Shit' and 'HMS Royal Oak' and people will still know who it is.

max
['Even if I go for the minor style shifts.']


Posted by: My Name Is Cecil S. Horndecker | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:39 AM
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I sometimes see twenty comments in a row, by as many people, not one of which would need to be signed.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 11:48 AM
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34

It's because we're all sock puppets for ogged. It's part of a radical new therapy to cure self-cockblocking.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:06 PM
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35

I don't know about "unimaginative" as a handle. Uni Mage?

Hugs,
LB


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:09 PM
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Hrmph. "Unimaginative" is a fine, fine name -- I don't mix it up with anything else. I have such few, minor requests, and yet I'm mocked for them.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:14 PM
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So the "m" took the place of "max"? Huh. I was thinking it indicated a sound, kind of like a short "hmmm" or "um" or "ahem" or something. Which was confusing since I didn't know which sound max was going for.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:30 PM
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38

36: You can't hug a child with nuclearno arms.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:30 PM
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I'm wondering if the armless guy has prosthetics. I've mentioned before that my dad wears a prosthetic hook, somethig like this one. The one and only time he walloped someone with it (in the first grade; the kid was making fun of his hook; dad got grounded afterwards; don't hit people!), it proved itself to be a rather formidable weapon.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:49 PM
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40

Did you see the recent New Yorker article about prosthetic arms, Stanley?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:53 PM
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41

No, link?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:55 PM
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42

Grrr motherfuckers die. The District just lost its voting rights bill on a fucking filibuster, those cryptoracist fascists.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:58 PM
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Doesn't look like it's online, but here's the abstract. It was pretty interesting.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 12:58 PM
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43: Thanks, teo. I'll track down the hardcopy. My dad would be interested, too.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:01 PM
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45

I've always thought they should design prosthetic arms with extra features that meat arms don't have. Pliers, screwdrivers, ratchets, I'm not sure. I don't have an engineering mind, but why stick with a mediocre imitation of a finger and thumb? Someone told me that in Germany they do a little of that.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:02 PM
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46

45: shotguns, chainsaws.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:03 PM
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I'm wondering why the armless guy is referred to throughout that article as "armless." Um. A faithful description, no doubt, but don't we say "double amputee" or something? Unless he was born that way. Just, uh, I dunno.

"Armless man." "Police question armless man." "the armless man attacked her brother."

Sounds a bit like a joke. Then again, the website ogged links to looks like a tabloid.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:04 PM
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45: My dad's has a removable hook, and he puts on a "grippier" hook attachment when working on cars. And, of course, many of my friends have speculated on the existence of a "bedroom attachment."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:05 PM
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49

A cook wouldn't need hot pads, and wouldn't have to worry about cutting his hand, and he could have a knife built right in.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:10 PM
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50

This is not an entirely new idea.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:16 PM
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My dad's has a removable hook, and he puts on a "grippier" hook attachment when working on cars. And, of course, many of my friends have speculated on the existence of a "bedroom attachment."

This is just wrong, young Stanley. Wrong.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:19 PM
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looks like a tabloid

That's what local news sites look like.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:19 PM
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53

This is not an entirely new idea.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:20 PM
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54

This is just wrong, young Stanley. Wrong.

It was my friends, will. I can't be held accountable for their prurient speculations.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:23 PM
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That's what local news sites look like.

Oh. Well, they need a damn web designer or something.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:25 PM
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54:

Didnt you explain to them that since your parents were in their 40's (or older), they clearly werent doing any of that sex stuff?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:26 PM
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Stanley:

Have you announced the Unfogged Amherst meet yet?

Oct 13 & 14th


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:27 PM
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45, 49, 53: In an effort to burnish my geek credentials, I will point out that Heinlein anticipated this possibility in "Moon is a Harsh Mistress."


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:29 PM
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Have you announced the Unfogged Amherst meet yet?

I have not, but will do so now. "Hey, will. See you there."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 1:30 PM
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Omigod, Unfogged has ascended to amputee sex jokes? And at less than 100 comments?

Can't remember, tried looking it up, wasn't it in a Bunuel film that Fernando Rey tells Deneuve:"Don't worry darling, some men will prefer you that way."


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 2:08 PM
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I would have predicted the thread would go to women choking men with their thighs:Blade Runner, at least two Bonds...


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 2:10 PM
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Omigod

Please, bob, it's "OMG". This be the internet.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 3:02 PM
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62:Yah, but I be sociopath.

;)


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 3:24 PM
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Since this thread got swamped by genital shaving, I'd like to congratulate you, Ogged. The text of the post itself is funnier than hell.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 5:15 PM
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Thanks, apo. I'm especially gratified since you didn't like my last letter.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 5:19 PM
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You can't hug a child with no arms.

Sure you can. He just can't hug back.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 5:26 PM
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For that matter, you can hug a child with nuclear arms. You just want to avoid pissing him off.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 6:39 PM
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I have not, but will do so now. "Hey, will. See you there."

Anyone else coming?



Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 6:58 PM
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66: Obligatory.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:03 PM
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70

Jesus Christ, why do I click?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:04 PM
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71

Apo strikes again.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:04 PM
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72

More detail on the original story. Heart attack, not head butt, to blame.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:49 PM
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73

Heart butt!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:53 PM
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74

Police suspicion fell onto the artist with no arms, William "Rusty" Redfern, who had dialed 911 and driven to the police station to report the altercation.

Wow.

Not only can he beat people to death and paint pointillist art, he can drive? This guy's the armless MacGyver.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:54 PM
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75

It says he has a stump, Tweeters.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:56 PM
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76

It still seems like it'd be complicated.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 7:59 PM
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This guy's the armless MacGyver.

Imagine a remake of The Fugitive, with an armless MacGyver by turns chasing and being chased by the one-armed man.

Barry Morse: dead or Canadian?


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:03 PM
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78

It still seems like it'd be complicated.

Stumpist.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:05 PM
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79

The guy is also an artist.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:06 PM
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80

He's not just 'the armless man' any more, which is good. That was bugging me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:16 PM
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81

He is not, on the other hand, an amputee, so it would have been pretty foolish to call him that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:17 PM
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82

Leave the implied pun in 81 alone, people. You don't want that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:18 PM
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83

Canadian or dead?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:25 PM
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84
"Police said they don't think it's intentional, and I said neither do I," the elder Elliot said, "but it doesn't matter because he killed my brother."

Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:32 PM
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85

Reverse intentional fallacy!


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-18-07 8:41 PM
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86

21, 27: Behold.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 09-19-07 7:53 AM
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Is the point of "Dead or Canadian?" that many stars and celebraties, living in Canada again after having been big for awhile, essentially disappear from the American scene? Or is it a version of the Algonquin Round Table about Coolidge's death?


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 09-19-07 8:03 AM
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I think the idea is that two possible reasons for a celebrity name to be vaguely familiar, but not in a way where you can actually remember anything about them, is that they're either from Canada or they've been dead for a decade.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-19-07 8:13 AM
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