Re: More home-life ephemera

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Rah got one of those MHOA Fusions and says it's fantastic but has zero desire to buy the replacement blades so it's a temporary luxury. Me, I use the self-cleaning electric because I'm a tech-whore that faints at the sight of blood.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:13 AM
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I use an electric razor. I don't know what kind, my dad gave it to me about nine years ago. Maybe I should get a new one.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:15 AM
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I have found electric razors to be grossly overmatched against my beard.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:15 AM
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The problem is that electrics just don't shave as close as a blade, regardless of what that Remington dude says. With electrics I really have to shave every day, and that sucks. I also like the exfoliating effect of a blade.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:16 AM
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I got pissed off at the whole marketing game for a while and went the straight razor route. It's actually not much slower, even trimming around a beard (which I haven't had for years). Lost it in a move though.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:16 AM
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The Fusion is the way and the life. I have true manly Islamohair, shave every other day, and haven't changed the blade in at least a couple of months without any noticeable drop in quality of shave, or nicks, or any of that crap.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:16 AM
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For the most part, I use an electric razor. A good razor is worth the money. Young yet-to-be shavers spend the money and get a good razor. This is not a time to be cheap.

Also, there is nothing quite like a professional shaving your face.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:16 AM
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Ogged, are you serious? You can push the blades that far? I've been changing every two weeks or so, just out of habit, but I'll leave this one on for a while to see what happens.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:17 AM
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I have true manly Islamohair, shave every other day,

These seem contradictory. Or are you a fan of the stubble?


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:18 AM
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I have true manly Islamohair, shave every other day, and haven't changed the blade in at least a couple of months without any noticeable drop in quality of shave, or nicks, or any of that crap.

You disprove yourself. Shave every other day? Do you walk around with stubble?

FL is correct. The exfoliating aspect of a razor is really nice.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:18 AM
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pwned by soup b


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:18 AM
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Ogged, are you serious?

I am serious as a motherfukcing a heart-attack, soldier. Don't change that sucker until it starts to drag; fight the power.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:19 AM
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Strangely, I didn't really like the Fusion, although right now I can't for the life of me remember why. I'm still stuck back on the Quattro, which appears to be the sweet spot for me. Hmm. Maybe I'll give the Fusion another try.

As for electric razors, bah. I remember feeling exceptionally unclean after trying one.


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:20 AM
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I've a beard, and use an electric trimmer as a shaver on the neck and cheek parts I want clear. If needing or wanting closeness I use my dad's old razor, as I blogged about last year, but shaving so rarely means I have irritation, big red blotches of skin, when I do.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:20 AM
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I have true manly Islamohair, shave every other day, and haven't changed the blade in at least a couple of months without any noticeable drop in quality of shave, or nicks, or any of that crap.

Wow, for serious? Even Labs' claim that he only changes his blade every two weeks blows my mind. I realize that shaving one's legs involves shaving several faces' worth of surface area, but still, this is incomprehensible to me.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:20 AM
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Look, Ogged shows up for work in north face and laughs at the suits. This is not a guy who fears the stubble.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:21 AM
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Do you walk around with stubble?

You make it sound so dangerous. Yes, stubble. Shaving every day is rough on my boyish skin, sometimes I don't shave for two days.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:21 AM
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You make it sound so dangerous. Yes, stubble. Shaving every day is rough on my boyish skin, sometimes I don't shave for two days.

Ok, but did you do this when you were spending time around women?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:22 AM
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I had to replace the Mach 3 blade pretty regularly, and I keep expecting this one to stop working, but it hasn't yet, so I soldier on.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:22 AM
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Ok, but did you do this when you were spending time around women?

What's the matter, Will, exfoliation for thee, but not for she?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:23 AM
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I use an old-fashioned single-bladed razor. Badger-hair brush, the full monty. Far superior to the multi-blade jobs. Cheaper too.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:25 AM
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I've found that the Braun doesn't quite shave as close as a blade but it shaves close enough if I press down. There are only a couple of problem areas in my beard that require special effort with the electric; mostly it shaves just as well as I could possibly ask. Also, whereas a blade exfoliates a good electric feels a bit like a miniature face massage and I find that very nice.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:25 AM
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4 gets it exactly right, as does the post. I was all, four blades? Break me a give.

Then I got the mail freebie and I'm totally on board. Plus, yay, free handle so I don't have to buy the expensive stupid metal one.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:25 AM
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My significant other is a ginger with delicate, fair skin.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:25 AM
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Ok, but did you do this when you were spending time around women?

Maybe I run in the wrong sorts of crowds, but isn't stubble, or scruffiness in general, frequently seen as a good thing?


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:25 AM
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Ok, but did you do this when you were spending time around women?

Lots of women like stubble. IME.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:26 AM
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16/17: Oh, nothing wrong with it. Just that `manly islamohair' implied to me a serious 5 oclock shadow, so actually staying smooth would be 2/day not 1/2days ... or, you know, stubbly.

I can't say that these multiblades actually shaved closer than a (straight) razor ime, but on the other hand, I don't worry about being sleepy, either. I should probably toss the razors once a week, but I'm lazy so I don't.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:26 AM
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I've thought about the straight razor, too. But good ones seem expensive and I worry about investing in one and then never using it.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:27 AM
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I think I honestly could not make myself put a straight razor to my own flesh. Yeeks.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:28 AM
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I just downgraded from Gillette to Schick - an inferior razor overall, but more durable and much, much, much cheaper. I can scrape it over my face a few more times and get the same results.

I have resolved not to try these new-fangled razors for the same reason I won't try heroin: I might like it.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:29 AM
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I have also been tempted by the straight razor, but I am never sure how much upkeep it would be. Any wisdom soup?


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:29 AM
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15: Ogged's right; I realized yesterday I need to change my Fusion blade, which I haven't done since mid August, only because it's just not doing as good a job. No nicks.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:31 AM
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http://www.gentlemans-shop.com/acatalog/merkur-34-razor.html#a45

Is what I have. Not quite as hardcore as a straight razor.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:31 AM
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33: wow, that's what my dad used. Sweet.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:32 AM
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Lots of women like stubble. IME.

I'm not sure I would say "lots", at least not once skin-to-skin contact gets involved, but they're certainly out there.

Good thing, too, since I can go weeks at a time without shaving.

And I'll try the Fusion when they send me one for free. Until then, I'll continue with the Mach3 on those occasions when I deign to touch razor to skin, thank you very much.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:32 AM
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I'm still trying to figure out expectations at my current office, including whether I can "get away with" shaving every other day.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:32 AM
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Seriously? It's that much better than the Mach 3? They lost me on the electrified version which was basically worthless. On a scale of 1-10, how much better is fusion?


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:32 AM
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34: Mine, too.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:33 AM
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Lots of women like stubble.

The boyfriend deliberately keeps about a week or two of growth because it's softer than end-of-day stubble on the sensitive lady skin. Which I have to say, I've decided he's right about.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:33 AM
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It's that much better than the Mach 3?

It's not that much better of a shave, and in fact takes a few days to get used to, but the blades seem to last a hell of a lot longer.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:34 AM
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re: 39

Yeah, my wife doesn't like really short stubble. But longer stubble, yeah. More because of the way it looks, I think.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:35 AM
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Yes, score me another MHOA convert - except that I had just bought like a 10-pack of the ultra-primitive 3-blade heads. I'm on a similar shaving schedule to ogged, but I'll occasionally go all the way to 4-5 days (with fine, northern European whiskers), at which point the Fusion was no longer cutting (ha!) the mustard after a month.

But I was happily surprised by the longevity of the Fusion, and plan to use the coupons that came with it when the time comes.

Most importantly, I always got at least a bit of throat irritation when shaving; not with the Fusion. In fact, the Fusion was better on that score after a month than a brand-new triple-blade.

Somewhere, the guy who came up with the MHOA plan can't even leave his desk, so large is his erection at this discussion here.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:37 AM
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33: wow, that's what my dad used. Sweet.

sometimes literally


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:37 AM
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I actually find the fusion to be a better shave. Less painful-- it's like wiping the beard off. And I cut myself less frequently.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:37 AM
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Generic old double-edge cartridge system;change about once a month. I think the beard gets tougher as you grow older.

Just the neck and thinning.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:38 AM
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My honey leaves his ultra-manly Islamohair for four or five days. By then he has to clip it before taking the razor to it. Every time he shaves I sort of mourn a bit.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:42 AM
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My whiskers have to get over the 2 week mark before they start to soften up. But my wife's skin is so sensistive that even a brief nape-nuzzle leaves red skin unless I'm pretty freshly shaven. So I've never gone more than a week since I've known her.

baa - I don't know that the shave is any closer, but it's more comfortable during (there's hardly any drag at all), and, as I said, no skin irritation. I also dig the fifth-blade for trimming, although it's not all it's cracked up to be.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:42 AM
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safety razor yo. Hobby: find the discount store that sells a 10-pack of blades cheapest. For years, Chicago Walgreens beat DC drugstores, but no more. Now seeking dollar stores that carry the things.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:42 AM
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31: You have to strop them regularly, but if they start off sharp (get it done by a pro unless you have the right gear and know what you're doing.) it's fairly easy to keep them really sharp. You really want proper soap too, but proper soap and a bristle brush is much nicer than the stuff from a can or whatever. It does take a little longer, and if you don't keep the edge up you'll feel it.

I've never tried a safety razor (the straight was given to me by a grandfather) but it's probably a similar shave without the need to be as careful...


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:42 AM
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My honey leaves his ultra-manly Islamohair for four or five days. By then he has to clip it before taking the razor to it. Every time he shaves I sort of mourn a bit.

Why doesn't he just do what B's BF does? He already has the clippers.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:43 AM
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re: 48

I bought a pack of 100 Israeli 'personna' blades about a year ago. For about 10 quid [20 dollars] including shipping.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:44 AM
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49: Do you keep the blade perpendicular to the skin? Seems like even a slight angle would tend to exfoliate rather aggressively.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:45 AM
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28: I thought you were frae Glesgae? Get yourself a good straight razor and you've got a second source of income.


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:45 AM
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39: For some of us, a week or two is well past `stubble'. I've had people tell me that 4 days is fine, 0 days is fine, but in between is sharp.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:46 AM
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I generally prefer to keep longer stubble, but I've found that I can't grow my stubble out in the summer. My facial hair always teeters in a delicate blend of dark brown, vaguely reddish and outright blond. In the summer, way too much of it grows in blond, making it too patchy-looking.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:48 AM
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Every time he shaves I sort of mourn a bit.

Other than thick-skinned Jackmormon, clean-shaved is best, unless you are simply looking from a distance.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:48 AM
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my wife's skin is so sensistive that even a brief nape-nuzzle leaves red skin unless I'm pretty freshly shaven. So I've never gone more than a week since I've known her.

Serious question: why don't guys with this problem/habit just do the laser hair removal thing?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:49 AM
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re: 53

Yeah, my dad is from the Gorbals too, and went to school with Jimmy Boyle, so, arguably, slashing people with a straight razor is my cultural heritage.

[I'm not actually from Glasgow, though. I went to school in Stenhousemuir.]


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:49 AM
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28: I looked at replacing mine, seems a decent one would be about $100, maybe a bit less (nothing fancy on the handles, etc.). I sort of miss the ritual, actually. And never having to buy blades was nice. I used to shave around a beard without any trouble, which people told me I'd not be able to do easily. I didn't cut myself any worse than a disposable, in years of using it.

They are high carbon steel for sharpness, so you do need to look after the blade or it will rust.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:49 AM
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Why doesn't he just do what B's BF does?

He regards clipping back to stubble an affectation, I'm afraid. I'm probably more invested in his beard's appearence than he is, which is unfortunate, as he is stubborn.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:49 AM
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Hobby: find the discount store that sells a 10-pack of blades cheapest. For years, Chicago Walgreens beat DC drugstores

For now, I get mine at Dominick's


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:50 AM
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On a scale of 1-10, how much better is fusion?

Neither one holds a candle to chemotherapy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:52 AM
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Serious question: why don't guys with this problem/habit just do the laser hair removal thing?

At the moment, mostly expense. Once I leave school and get the sort of job where you can't show up unshaven everyday, laser hair removal is a priority.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:53 AM
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Serious question: why don't guys with this problem/habit just do the laser hair removal thing?

What if you have to go on the lam? Don't do anything you can't undo, I say.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:55 AM
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60: you should point out that shaving is an affectation.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:56 AM
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Yeah, laser treatment on facial hair is a bit like having a tubal ligation, or something.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:56 AM
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What if you have to go on the lam? Don't do anything you can't undo, I say.

Men of Iranian descent with beards are practically invincible!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:57 AM
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I'm confused. What does MHOA mean?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:58 AM
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I think the beard gets tougher as you grow older.

This is a good point, not that it worries any of you chabbies. I used a safety from age 12, but switched to an electric when I started taking anti-coagulants. Lately the electric doesn't cut it any more, literally. But the safety doesn't cut me as much as of yore either.

Change the blade about once a week. They're as near free as fuck it, so why martyr yourself.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:59 AM
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68: From the post, "mail him one anyway."


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:59 AM
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68: Mean Hair Over Average.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 9:59 AM
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A friend of a friend used to have thick facial hair, which he hated shaving. He tried to have electrolysis on his face using a home electrolysis kit.

His face looked like he'd been attacked by a blender. I'm tempted to link to photos of the guy [he's in a minor Scottish band that none of you will have heard of] but that'd be cruel.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:00 AM
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They're as near free as fuck it

This is poetry.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:01 AM
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They're as near free as fuck it, so why martyr yourself.

This probably isn't true for whatever 16-blade wonder they're pushing this week.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:01 AM
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Make Hairy Ogged the Ayatollah.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:02 AM
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using a home electrolysis kit

I suspect this part was the problem


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:02 AM
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Holy shit. "Home electrolyis" noses out "home perm" in the bad idea sweepstakes.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:03 AM
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68 gets it right.

I shave every three days or so. I should shave every two days because on the third day it feels really, really uncomfortable, my face feels really hot and I can't press anything up to it. But I just can't bring myself to waste time by shaving every other day. Sometimes I even wait like 5 days, by which point it feels so uncomfortable and hot that the discomfort literally distracts me from whatever I'm doing all day. I've never gotten to the point where the beard is of sufficient length to be not unbelievably uncomfortable. I tried 10 days once and it wasn't getting any better, and I didn't want to suffer for who knows how long just for some experiment to see if it would eventually get better.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:03 AM
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Also, I was distressed by no longer looking like I used to look.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:05 AM
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I shave about once a week, mostly. But no-one where I work cares if I have stubble. That said, I do sometimes trim it with an electric trimmer in between shaves.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:06 AM
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78: Like all other stubble, facial stubble gets easier the more you have it. The first few times I tried to grow out an inchoate beard, the rubbing against my pillow drove me mad by the second week. It's a lot easier these days.

Also, conditioner and a decent moisturizer help soften and soothe the stubble a lot.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:08 AM
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Like all other stubble, facial stubble gets easier the more you have it.

I have plenty of experience having stubble, I have stubble just about every day. It's not annoying unless it's three days' worth or more.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:09 AM
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I do not believe there has been any significant advance in shaving technology since the original Sensor. In fact, one of my own tin-foil, crackpot theories is that Gillette sucks consumers in with good razors--the Sensor in new colors, essentially--and then, after a few years, starts crippling the razors so that it can offer a new, better experience in a new, better razor--the Sensor in yet another color.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:12 AM
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The Fusion cartridges do last much longer than the Mach 3. If I shaved like I had a dayjob, I'd be shaving every day or every other day, because MANDOM. But I'm bound by no office, so I'll let it go and wind up with half a beard before I shave. I'm putting the Fusion to through real wear and tear. The razors still last me about six weeks before I start feeling any discomfort.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:12 AM
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Yeah, home electrolysis is insane.

64: Yeah, I get that it would be a big thing. But women apply permanent fucking *eyeliner*, for god's sake, and a bunch of other insane things. I'm just really surprised that more men, given that most of the men I know hate shaving, don't just decide "fuck it, I'm taking it off." I thought we had kind of a general consensus here that guys were pro-body-modification if it was convenient, and anti-fussing about the Social Implications of same.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:14 AM
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I wound up with a full beard last year. It's true that after a while it's not uncomfortable. Then there was the big day when I felt up to standing long enough to shave. Turned out that I only felt up to standing long enough to shave one side of my face. Good thing I wasn't going out anywhere.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:15 AM
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I didn't know it was possible to do permanent electrolysis hair removal of an entire face. I've never heard of that before. I thought the combination of A) sensitive skin B) very coarse hair C) extreme expense made it virtually impossible.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:15 AM
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Holy shit, 83 is the only SCMT crackpot theory that's ever made any sense at all.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:16 AM
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87: It's possible. It isn't fun, or cheap, or quick. MTF trans get this done pretty routinely, I believe. I'm not sure how much (if any) difference hormone treatments would make there, though.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:17 AM
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84: "I'll let it go and wind up with half a beard before I shave"
86: "I only felt up to standing long enough to shave one side of my face"

You two should coordinate your efforts.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:17 AM
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It's not annoying unless it's three days' worth or more.

That's exactly the sort of stubble that got easier with experience. For me, at least. I know other people with more sensitive skin who never could grow their facial hair out.


I thought we had kind of a general consensus here that guys were pro-body-modification if it was convenient, and anti-fussing about the Social Implications of same.

Sure we do. I'm that general consensus.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:18 AM
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That's exactly the sort of stubble that got easier with experience. For me, at least.

No, every 3 or 4 days I feel the need to shave, not because of social pressure or attractiveness to women, just because it gets uncomfortable and I need it to go away. I thought this was true for most people and the only time you get used to it is once it becomes a soft beardlike entity rather than a collection of bristles.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:20 AM
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85: If it pissed me off, I'd probably do something about it. But it doesn't.

I suspect most men are socialized to believe there is something effeminate about lack of facial hair *potential* and it may relate to that. You never know when you're going to have to turn into grizzly adams, after all.



Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:21 AM
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I've used a Mach 3 ever since they mailed my dad one around the time I started shaving. They mailed me another one on my eighteenth birthday (I was a little perturbed by the thought that Gillette knows exactly how old I am), but I've never used it because I already have one.

It's a pretty good shave, but I have to replace the blades every couple weeks and I do tend to nick my neck a lot. If the Fusion really is better in those respects, I might give it a shot. I think they mailed me one a while back.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:21 AM
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I suspect most men are socialized to believe there is something effeminate about lack of facial hair *potential* and it may relate to that. You never know when you're going to have to turn into grizzly adams, after all.

Nobody wants to be mistaken for a Chinaman, either.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:22 AM
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I suspect most men are socialized to believe there is something effeminate about lack of facial hair *potential* and it may relate to that.

Or, you know, not nutters. As ogged said, don't do anything you can't undo unless you have to.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:23 AM
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95: Especially not this one.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:24 AM
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Wow, I've been using the Mach3, just assuming that the Fusion couldn't be that much better, but I might just try it now. I also should shave every day, but that's too irritating, so I shave every other day and alternate the clean-shaven look with the sexy stubble. I've also grown a beard and found that conditioner really reduces the itchiness. I learned that from my dad.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:26 AM
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I'm that general consensus.

Yeah, my impression was that Po-Mo was the main proponent of the pro-body-modification view here.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:26 AM
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I've grown a beard a couple times. I found that the itchiness went away pretty quickly, but I don't much care for the way I look with a beard.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:29 AM
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No, every 3 or 4 days I feel the need to shave, not because of social pressure or attractiveness to women, just because it gets uncomfortable and I need it to go away.

And I'm saying that I used to feel exactly the same way. Then I stupidly decided to grow a beard back in college, so I toughed it through that period of severe itchiness a few times in the attempt. Now I really don't have that period of severe itchiness with 3-4 days growth anymore.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:29 AM
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96: `nutters' doesn't really hold. If it's actually painful and annoying and taking up time every day, there is a pretty rational argument for doing something about it (its safe, probably much cheaper in the long run).

don't do anything you can't undo unless...

would discount laser eye surgery, but lots of people do that.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:30 AM
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The itchiness doesn't really bother me that much. When my dad died I stopped shaving during shivah, and while it itched a little, I mostly didn't notice it. You're really supposed to not shave during sheloshim, but for me that would mean growing an actual beard, so no.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:31 AM
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If it's actually painful and annoying and taking up time every day, there is a pretty rational argument for doing something about it (its safe, probably much cheaper in the long run).

Possibly this suggests that it's less painful and annoying than people are suggesting. After all, Po-Mo apparently went with laser removal.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:33 AM
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I kind of understand the laser/electrolysis reluctance. I get hair removed from certain parts of my body regularly but I don't really fancy having it permanently removed in case I change my mind.

I only shave my underarms so 5 blade technology would be wasted on those few square inches. (TMI: To hark back to some thread from a while ago, I am getting them waxed about 90 minutes from now. I let them grow out for 10 days beforehand and after the first couple of days, where extra washing was required, they stopped being any whiffier than when shaven.)


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:49 AM
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I suspect most men are socialized to believe there is something effeminate about lack of facial hair *potential* and it may relate to that.

I agree entirely. But I thought there was also a consensus that worrying about how one is "socialized" into gender norms was something only pussies cared about.

Okay, now I really am trolling.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 10:57 AM
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I get hair removed from certain parts of my body regularly but I don't really fancy having it permanently removed in case I change my mind.

There's no telling when you'll want a luxurious coat of back hair.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:01 AM
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after the first couple of days, where extra washing was required, they stopped being any whiffier than when shaven

Seriously. People vastly overstate the ickiness of unshaven armpits.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:01 AM
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I think it's the initial shock -- there really is a noticeable sweat/stink increase when the hair gets longer than half an inch or so, and people react to that without realizing that it's not all that big a deal.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:06 AM
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These are people who use neither deodorant nor perfume?

I got the awesomest deodorant recently: Dr. Hauschka's rose-scented! It's pricey, but soooo nice.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:10 AM
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After all, Po-Mo apparently went with laser removal.

Just to clarify, I have not done so yet, and am in fact rocking a 2-3 day growth that I'll probably grow into full-on face fuzz over the next few weeks. Still, I'll hit the age when professionalism takes precedence over feats of follicular derring-do, when looking young is a good thing, and when the cash flow is more flow-y; at that point, the facial irriation of daily shaving will not be worth it and I will certainly go under the laser.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:15 AM
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But what if you want to grow a moustache at some point?!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:18 AM
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He can get hair plugs from his armpits.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:22 AM
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Oh man I want to shave my goatee and just have a blond surfer moustache so bad. All that's stopping me is that it would look incredibly stupid.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:22 AM
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But what if you want to grow a moustache at some point?!

Are you familiar with the term "molestache"? It works among my hipster peers when paired with a cocked eyebrow, but probably will not stand up well in my late 20s and early 30s.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:23 AM
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Seriously. People vastly overstate the ickiness of unshaven armpits.

Which is odd, consider how few men shave theirs.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:27 AM
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But what if you want to grow a moustache at some point?!

You'd have to fall back on the ignominious fingerstache


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:28 AM
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You know, Po-Mo, there was a time when the beard was considered de rigeur around the officeplace, so if you're looking to electrolyze your face for reasons of professional appearance, you may consider that standards change. Also: that's your face, dog.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:28 AM
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Are you familiar with the term "molestache"?

No.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:31 AM
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Which is odd, consider how few men shave theirs.

But men tend to smell bad.

I'm not really understanding the women's pit-hair discussion. How does it stink while growing out, then stop? And are hairless pits really that much less smelly? I suppose it makes sense, but I never gave it much thought.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:33 AM
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At college, it was a tradition among some young men to refrain from shaving during finals week, as an outward sign of how devoted/stressed/hardworking they were. This was always amusing when someone announced he was doing this, and his friends remarked that they couldn't tell.

shivbunny has fast-growing hair and were he to grow a full beard, it would have that Viking-like two-eyes-peeping-out-of-a-haystack look. He needs to shave every day or max every other day; he often doesn't until it annoys him or until I point out that since he's shaving his head these days, it looks like he's put his face on upside down if he has too much stubble.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:35 AM
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I'm not really understanding the women's pit-hair discussion.

Neither am I. I smell bad if I've been exercising in too-warm clothes and if I haven't bathed in a couple of days. I don't think shaving would help, and I do think that ingrown armpit hairs are disgusting.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:36 AM
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Also, B may have her trolling backwards. My irrational male impulses push me away from any kind of body modification. And while shaving is obviously body mod of a sort, it is SO much less impactful than electrolysis. [that said, it had literally never occurred to me to do that. plus, I added sideburns for the first time ever just 2 years ago; I like them, and would be sad if I'd blown my chance to grow them]

OTOH, I have a mole/skin tag on top of my head that is starting to emerge from the ever-retreating hairline, and that fucker's going down when the time comes.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:37 AM
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impactful

Oh no you di'n't.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:39 AM
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I smell bad if I've been exercising in too-warm clothes and if I haven't bathed in a couple of days.

Such is the human condition in this fallen world. I don't think shaving makes a lot of difference either way.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:40 AM
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I don't think shaving would help

Hair holds odors just like carpets and drapes do. You can smell a person's shampoo long after the scent of their bath soap wears off.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:45 AM
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I'm not really understanding the women's pit-hair discussion. How does it stink while growing out, then stop? And are hairless pits really that much less smelly? I suppose it makes sense, but I never gave it much thought.

Hair holds sweat, stinky bacteria breed, stinky bacteria poop, armpits smell. I think. Theoretically more hair would lead to more smell, but I don't think it makes all that much of a difference in a world where antiperspirants and deodorants exist.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:46 AM
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I smell bad if I've been exercising in too-warm clothes and if I haven't bathed in a couple of days. I don't think shaving would help

You exercise and then don't bath for several days?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:47 AM
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just like carpets and drapes

So great.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:47 AM
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Lots of women like stubble*. IME.

I was told early on that for cunnilingus, never ever. Is that true?

* As distinguished from fuller growth.


Posted by: terpbball | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:49 AM
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Lasers and electricity are not my friends. That is crazy talk.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:50 AM
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Lasers and electricity are not my friends.

They allow you to listen to CDs, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:51 AM
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Hair holds odors just like carpets and drapes do.

So if you want your perfume to linger at the end of day, you shouldn't shave your armpits!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:51 AM
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I was told early on that for cunnilingus, never ever. Is that true?

As with everything else in life, some mind more than others.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:53 AM
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you shouldn't shave your armpits!

Armpits should be plucked.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:53 AM
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Hair holds odors just like carpets and drapes do.

So if you want your perfume to linger at the end of day, you should spray it on the carpet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:55 AM
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They allow you to listen to CDs, though.

They are still not my friends. They are the help. One must have some standards.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:55 AM
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Theoretically more hair would lead to more smell, but I don't think it makes all that much of a difference in a world where antiperspirants and deodorants exist.

After I started shaving my armpits, I though I could occasionally go without deodorant. I was real surprised to find that there was no big difference in odor than before I shaved.


Posted by: terpbball | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:57 AM
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I don't usually let my friends sear hair off my body, but maybe you do things differently, RMMP.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:57 AM
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136: Same holds true for marinara.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:58 AM
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Crap. marinara.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 11:58 AM
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so if you're looking to electrolyze your face for reasons of professional appearance, you may consider that standards change. Also: that's your face, dog.

Not electrolyze, Laserize! And, as we all know, lasers are THE FUTURE!

Plus, beards also irritate my face in their own less-annoying-than-shaving way. Since I'm still somewhat acne-prone, having something that covers my neck and cheeks 24/7 is not highly advised.


At college, it was a tradition among some young men to refrain from shaving during finals week, as an outward sign of how devoted/stressed/hardworking they were.

We called that the "beard of knowledge". It helped that we had about 4-5 weeks for studying and beard growth, and presumably were more hirsute than your friends who attempted such. This beard also made the post-exams bender all the more dramatic in its 2nd or 3rd day, so it was brilliantly multi-functional. I highly recommend it to all college students.


Posted by: Po-Mo Polymath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 12:00 PM
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130: empirically not true. Wouldn't want to guess at how common that is, though.


Posted by: soup biscuit | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 12:02 PM
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I didn't realize that I was so far from the norm. I'm a daily shaver, in the shower with bar soap, with (I believe) a Sensor. Change the blade every week and a half/two weeks or so.

Occasionally I'll skip shaving on a Saturday or Sunday morning, but I usually regret it the following day. Not horribly-- especially if I'm in the first half of the razor's life-- but it does snag more.

I also tend to shave quickly and carelessly, leading to bleeding and lectures about slowing down from J on an every few weeks basis.


Posted by: OfTheVeg | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 12:28 PM
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OMG, this has reminded me that I bought my then boyfriend a gold-plated Sensor for his 21st. He was such a flash git.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 12:32 PM
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The thing with five blades is you get a higher coefficient of friction. And the vibrato was just gratuitous. Forget the Fusion. I went right back to the Sensor/Excel/Mach/Turbo/whatever.


Posted by: Ross Boffo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 12:49 PM
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I used a safety from age 12

OFE started shaving at 12? Isn't that rather early?

Kevin got disgusted w/the expense of refills for the Sensor Whatever he was using and kept saying he wanted to try a safety razor. I gave him one and he's totally digging it. I think part of its attraction is the old fashioned feel of it.

He goes to an Olde Tyme barbershop where the old Italian guys will do the warm shave w/a straight razor thing. He hasn't done that; I would so do that if I were him.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:07 PM
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I'm right with Labs. I mocked the 5 blade razor, but got one in the mail from those wily bastards. It works.

Yes, hair traps odor. "Odor trap" makes for a bad combo when paired with things like "nutsack" and "asscrack."


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:19 PM
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old Italian guys will do the warm shave w/a straight razor thing.

Buck loves the shave/hot towels/old Italian guy routine -- he's got a goatee but shaves his cheeks, and goes to a barber shop every couple of weeks to luxuriate. He makes it sound very spa treatment-ish, but manly.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:25 PM
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Kevin's got a goatee; I'm not crazy about it. He's had it for several years now; I'd thought he would've changed by now.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:27 PM
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One more thing: what's a 'surfer moustache'? Google images gives me nothing.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:30 PM
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I wish I could convince my honey to grow a goatee, or a fine, skinny moustache! but he's got this thing about his face being his. So annoying.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:30 PM
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Given that Buck's is the only above-the-neck hair he's got going for him, he's keeping his. Ten years of marriage and I've never seen his chin. If this were a myth, I'd shave him in his sleep and discover his terrible secret, concealed beneath the goatee.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:31 PM
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151: Blonde walrus mustache, I think. And Tweety should totally do it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:31 PM
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I think Kevin would look awesome with a Mennonite beard, a la C. Everett Koop, just less bushy at the chin.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:32 PM
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I think arpit hair is icky. Sometimes i realize i have trouble keeping separate the ideal i find bonerific, and the one i personaly aspire too. The result is a a feminized angularity of my abstract.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:35 PM
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Since my beard is a response to my wife's preferences to start with, I've always consulted about it. I was experimenting with a very close-trimmed House look last year. It got more extreme after the meetup LB was at. I've gone back to one with longer hairs around the mouth, a sort of goatee except that I don't shave the sides, so it blends. The longer hairs are because of prickliness complaints, alluded to above in this thread.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:36 PM
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yoyo, I think you would enjoy Baudelaire.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:39 PM
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Now I think IDP looks like Hugh Laurie. Yay!

shivbunny had a goatee at the wedding because I think he looks better with one and he didn't care as long as he got to shave it afterwards.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:41 PM
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his terrible secret, concealed beneath the goatee


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:42 PM
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Now I think IDP looks like Hugh Laurie

Not remotely.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:42 PM
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Hey, it's the internet. You all can look like whatever I want!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:43 PM
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shivbunny had a goatee at the wedding

Shivbunny had a Van Dyke at the wedding.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:44 PM
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My BIL and his wife agreed that if he would not wear his earring at their wedding she would make his favorite dinner 1x/month for the rest of their lives. A bit overkill, but it's worked out for them.

I've never said anything to Kevin about his facial hair or lack thereof since, as JM points out above, it's his face. I have said that I think he looks younger w/o a beard, hoping that would appeal to vanity, but no.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:44 PM
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What's the difference? I think of a Van Dyke as a kind of pointy, piratical looking goatee, but a sort of goatee nonetheless.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:45 PM
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I think of a VanDyke as just the bit on the chin.

The shelter named my cat VanDyke bc he has a black spot there.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:47 PM
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A goatee does not connect to the moustache. What most people call a goatee is actually a Van Dyke. Note.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:49 PM
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Huh. Buck's had a Van Dyke all these years and I never knew.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:50 PM
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That's not a goat it's a unicorn.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:51 PM
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OFE, did you really start shaving at 12?


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:51 PM
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Beards.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:52 PM
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Goatee.

Van Dyke.

Neither.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:53 PM
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Annie, occasionally, like once a week or so. Otherwise I grew what my father described as bum fluff and my school thought looked untidy.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:54 PM
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171. Growing a hulihee would be a good way to reinforce vows of chastity.


Posted by: OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:56 PM
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Wow, 12 seems so young.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 1:56 PM
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Hm. My facial hair is apparently a Holywoodian. Figures.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:14 PM
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171: I had a Franz-Josef for a while, back before I realized that women were incapable of realizing how awesome that look is.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:14 PM
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The Hollywoodian is certainly weird. So, everything is pretty much let to grow, but then the sideburns are shaved?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:20 PM
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The only kind of beard I really, really dislike is the "chin curtain" (or what I think of as "the Brigham Young"). Just unattractive.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:20 PM
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I started shaving when I was 12.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:26 PM
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I just remembered that somebody whom I met at UnfoggeDCon has a Brigham Young beard. I did not mean to offend, oh commenter! offend you personally, that is.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:27 PM
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171 and 172 do not agree.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:28 PM
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somebody whom I met at UnfoggeDCon has a Brigham Young beard

Stanley, I think.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:29 PM
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Oh wow, the 'friendly' mutton chops is a great beard name. Are the regular mutton chops somehow intimidating?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:29 PM
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what my father described as bum fluff

Also known as the 'scrotee.'


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:29 PM
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179: I like the Brigham Young beard! That's the one I mean by 'Mennonite beard'. That and glasses makes the man look very intelligent.

184: I was thinking that I'd rather not meet the unfriendly mutton chops in a dark alley.


Posted by: Annie | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:31 PM
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Stanley *had* a Brigham Young beard. Unless he has regrown it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:32 PM
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I remembered who it was, but I was trying to be discreet.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:35 PM
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It was Stanley!!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:36 PM
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I've often heard the friendly mutton chops called a Chester A. Arthur.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:36 PM
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172: The Grizzly Adams is not listed.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:36 PM
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Are the regular mutton chops somehow intimidating?

Top row of the link in 171.

I had a gay prof who had mutton chops and I suggested to my girlfriend at the time that they were supposed to make the face resemble a vagina, but she said that was stupid.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:37 PM
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178: in my case, the sideburns don't grow. Neither do the sides, really. So it ends up being the-thing-apo-says-isn't-a-goatee-but-totally-is plus enhanced stubble on the sides.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:37 PM
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Top row of the link in 171.

Oh, maybe you were asking about attitudes toward the mutton chop. In which case I refer you back to 192.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:38 PM
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The picture of the Van Dyke indicates that it has a full beard, not just hair in the chin area.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:42 PM
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The picture of the Van Dyke indicates

Ogged's chart is from, like, a hundred years ago.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:44 PM
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Isn't there a Fu Manchu beard, and hasn't it been either appropriated or erased by the (otherwise excellent) image in #171?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:44 PM
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A hundred years ago is about when these styles in facial hair were last popular.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:45 PM
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I thought a Fu Manchu was an Imperial on that chart -- skinny moustache waxed into points, and a narrow pointy chin beard.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:46 PM
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Ogged's chart

Wikipedia, man; stop oppressing me.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:46 PM
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Kobe-chu!

I thought the same, LB.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:47 PM
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An obsolete beard chart gives us all the more reason to believe that Unfogged has no real future. Attention to detail is the key to blogosphere domination. The alleged success of the alleged Smasher-Catherine bots went to Ogged's head.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:48 PM
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Fu Manchu was an Imperial on that chart

Really? Isn't the Fu Manchu the "n"-shaped mustache?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:49 PM
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And then it all came crashing down. Next, on Behind the Blog.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:49 PM
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Yes, the Fu Manchu is a moustache.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:51 PM
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It's hardly news that you hate Asians, ogged, so it's unsurprising that you would choose a chart that appropriated their culture without attribution. Also, I wasn't sure if it was solely a mustache, which is why I phrased the thing so hesitantly.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:51 PM
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The lurid, overcontrasty handheld camera lurches through a traveling carnival to the funnel cake stand as the "where are they now" music fades to the imbecile prattling of our host, and we se the wizened vendor's face register alarm.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:53 PM
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I think my honey could pull off one of these.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:54 PM
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He should just shave it off instead.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:56 PM
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Hrm. I apparently don't know from facial hair terminology.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:56 PM
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A more modern chart.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 2:58 PM
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Yet more info.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:00 PM
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211: The Hollywood should be the Hipster; the Hipster shouldn't be grown at all.


Posted by: destroyer | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:02 PM
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DEAR GOD, THEY'VE ELIMINATED THE VAN DYKE!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:02 PM
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Fairly comprehensive.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:03 PM
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"Van Dyck
A goatee accompanied by a mustache; usually the two are not connected."

bite me.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:05 PM
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215: Anything you want to tell us, ogged? We support you, whatever you decide.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:06 PM
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bite me.

Careful, you'll piss off your husband.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:08 PM
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211, 212, 215: Ogged struggles to save his dying blog.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:08 PM
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Ha! I didn't even notice the site.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:09 PM
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The word 'balbo' is completely new to me, and yet it shows up on all of these charts. Has everyone else been describing beards as balbos for all these years?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:11 PM
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Oh wow, the 'friendly' mutton chops is a great beard name. Are the regular mutton chops somehow intimidating?

I think they're friendly because they meet in the middle of the wearer's lip. Muttonchops in lurve!


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:12 PM
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The word 'balbo' is completely new to me, and yet it shows up on all of these charts. Has everyone else been describing beards as balbos for all these years?

Well, no, but we haven't been describing beards much at all. Have you?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:16 PM
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The usual session of beard-description is Wednesdays, 8:30-9:15, but I don't get in much the rest of the week.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:19 PM
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No wonder; you don't get to the balbo until you've been at it at least an hour.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:21 PM
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I hope never to see the Old Dutch in real life.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:22 PM
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220: Swimming tips.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:22 PM
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Balbo would be for the Italian Air Force General Italo Balbo, who had one of those, was a bon vivant, member of the Fascist Council, veteran of The March on Rome, and who created a sensation by flying with a fleet of seaplanes to the World's Fair in Chicago in 1933. A friend of mine remembers looking down from an office window while he buzzed the Loop. They named a downtown street after him, and it's still called that.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:25 PM
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'balbo' is completely new to me

Yes, everyone says this. Separately, I was surprised to learn that "fade" means different things to black, white, and hispanic barbers. I began to wonder about the cosmetic aids publishing industry-- those charts and hairstyle magazines. Where do the just-hired kids who are responsible for attaching text to the pictures get their info? It's a case where pointing and grunting obviate the need for labels, but labels multiply anyway.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:25 PM
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220: Swimming tips.

Funny stuff. I was telling my poor mother last night that not only was I not trying to date, nor anticipating marriage/children, but that because I'm a single thirty-something guy living in San Francisco, soon she's going to start hearing speculation that I'm gay. Now she's trying to think of a cover story.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:28 PM
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I was telling my poor mother last night that not only was I not trying to date, nor anticipating marriage/children, but that because I'm a single thirty-something guy living in San Francisco, soon she's going to start hearing speculation that I'm gay. Now she's trying to think of a cover story.

Surely this deserves a post.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:30 PM
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Or a beard.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:31 PM
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Balbo would be for the Italian Air Force General Italo Balbo, who had one of those, was a bon vivant, member of the Fascist Council, veteran of The March on Rome, and who created a sensation by flying with a fleet of seaplanes to the World's Fair in Chicago in 1933.

What we need nowadays is fewer celebrities and more bon vivants.

I can't name a single prominent bon vivant nowadays.

I was telling my poor mother last night that not only was I not trying to date, nor anticipating marriage/children, but that because I'm a single thirty-something guy living in San Francisco, soon she's going to start hearing speculation that I'm gay.

Even more suspicious is that you left Iran, and now there are officially no homosexuals there.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:31 PM
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Now she's trying to think of a cover story.

You're doing missionary work.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:31 PM
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The cancer left you impotent.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:32 PM
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You have a girlfriend in, umm, Canada.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:33 PM
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I can't name a single prominent bon vivant nowadays.

Richard Branson.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:33 PM
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236: No foreigners! Check passport!


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:34 PM
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You have a girlfriend in, umm, Canada.

And she's totally hot. Legal, too.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:34 PM
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235: Surgical error.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:35 PM
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The person you're in love with used to be a woman. That's got to count for something, right?


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:36 PM
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My poor mother.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:37 PM
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Richard Branson is the only surviving bon vivant. All others who could claim to be such have died in ballooning accidents.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:39 PM
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You only need to meet a girl from the right sort of family? Maybe she or her friends know someone?


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:40 PM
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It's been covered, LW. Ogged doesn't want to marry his hott cousin.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:40 PM
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244.---I was thinking that a lot of the cover stories would go in that direction ("Poor ogged-joon just needs a woman who understands!"), but I have this dim memory that among the many disqualifiers, ogged will not date Iranian women.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:42 PM
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All others who could claim to be such have died in ballooning accidents.

Hey, if they didn't want to die in ballooning accidents, they shouldn't have come here in the first place.

(Seriously, wtf is up with all the ballooning accidents this year? It's absurd.)


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:43 PM
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"Poor ogged-joon just needs a woman who understands!"

On the contrary, my mom seems to have no conception whatsoever of "like-mindedness." Is she pretty, educated, and from a good family? Then what's the hang up???


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:45 PM
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Chicagoan Steve Fawcett, associated in the mind with ballooning and perhaps with bon vivantry, disappeared flying an ordinary, if experimental airplane.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:48 PM
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Fossett.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:49 PM
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yeah, him


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:50 PM
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Everyone should read the novel "Arabian Jazz" which includes an Arab-American matchmaking subplot. It turns out that the eligible male cousin is actually a lot of fun and doesn't want to get married either, so the two decide to let people think whatever they want to think for awhile, thus taking the pressure off both of them. IIRC he's an anthropologist, possibly specializing in kinship systems.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:50 PM
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Soffit.

I thought of a couple more - the owners of the Dallas Mavericks and Sacramento Kings.

Do you have to be a self-made business tycoon to be a bon vivant nowadays? It used to be associated with those who inherited wealth and then squandered it. Now everyone who has inherited wealth is the extremely boring director of a philanthropic foundation, or keeps his name out of the news and only socializes at Bilderberg events. Or is famous for partying at age 24 and is then never heard from again.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:51 PM
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"He's only professionally gay. It's completely safe because he's got all the training."

Is she pretty, educated, and from a good family?

Mom's setting her standards too high.

max
['Is she alive? Please tell me you're not dating the undead again!']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:52 PM
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Ogged seems resistant to the idea of having a normally miserable marriage. Who does he think he is? Everyone else has done it at least once. A childish refusal to face adult life.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:52 PM
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253: what about soffits? Lotta soffits in my life, lately. Lotta soffits.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:52 PM
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Aren't the Kings owned by the Maloof family? They're not really bon vivants.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:53 PM
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Ogged, put your mom in contact with Emerson. You will get a mom with a new outlook on these things, and/or a new stepfather.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:53 PM
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re: 192

There's a reason why sideburns are referred to as "bugger's grips" in old fashioned English slang.

re: beards, mine is an 'anchor' only I have no moustache. I've had all of the beard options in http://images.amazon.com/images/G/01/electronics/detail-page/cruzer1.gif, though. Except the 'Hollywood'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:53 PM
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no conception of "like-mindedness."

Maybe she's right. How much honesty and sharing can a healthy relationship really sustain? Pretty may not be good to include, though.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:53 PM
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I think this might be the modern equivalent of bon vivantery. Elegance is too much to ask for, of course.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:55 PM
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I'm surprised there's not a "Brazilian" by now.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:55 PM
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262, that's nothing new.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:57 PM
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ok, 263 isnot what I thought it would be.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:57 PM
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248: Your mom's right, and you're a little long in the tooth to be still in the thrall of Disney.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:57 PM
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I'm surprised there's not a "Brazilian" by now

I know what that refers to, but refusing to imagine it mapped onto a face, I'll choose to believe it means a beard resembling the Emperor Dom Pedro's.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:58 PM
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There's a reason why sideburns are referred to as "bugger's grips" in old fashioned English slang.

I knew it!!!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:59 PM
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The Brazilian could also just be what we have always known as "the humanities professor".


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 3:59 PM
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ok, 263 isnot what I thought it would be.

It's surprisingly easy to find a picture of a man with no facial hair.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:00 PM
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261: That just sounds like douchebaggery to me. Their grandfather made his money distributing Coors, you know.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:01 PM
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269: I thought we agreed the Brazilian wax did, in fact, involve hair?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:02 PM
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It involves the removal of hair, yes.

And the picture in 263 isn't of someone with his face waxed anyway. Never mind.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:03 PM
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But not all hair! Hair remains! Le ticket, oui? You must remember?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:04 PM
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And the man in the linked picture has in fact not shaved his head. Therefore, a Brazilian.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:07 PM
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So anyway, it's time this comment section followed the lead of other organizations and laid down some ground rules.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:08 PM
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Brazilian.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:09 PM
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I have satan's own beard (thick, wiry, growing in whorls out of skin that gets irritated by a stern look) and thus naturally hate shaving, but also hate the way I look with stubble, particularly now that some if it is coming in grey. As a result, I shave every day with one of those vibrating gilettes, whatever they call it, and buy expensive blades, and change them often. So I also hate Gillette, and my salary. I have a safety razor that I tried thinking it'd be cheaper so I could replace the blades more often, but the shave wasn't that great and the blades weren't that cheap. But I don't know why it never occured to me until now that I could order crazy-sharp tissue-prep blades out of a microscopy catalog, charge it to the taxpayers, and change the blade every single day. Hot damn!


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:10 PM
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Have you tried using gene therapy to give yourself congenital alopecia?


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:11 PM
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A kid in an activity Sally participates in appears to have that, and I have a hell of a time not referring to him as 'Lex'.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:13 PM
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congenital alopecia

Couldn't abide the bald privates, though. I'd have to come up with a method for targeted expression.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:13 PM
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I have a friend who had alopecia areata for a while, which basically meant that random clumps of his hair fell out. That sucked. He's all better now.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:14 PM
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279: Great. Oh please, do not let me come into contact with any bald children until I forget about this.


Posted by: cerebrocrat | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:15 PM
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And then, of course, there's the full bush approach to facial hair.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:15 PM
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279 to 277.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:16 PM
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New Yorkers: ovbs. I emailed some of you, but does anyone want to go see Kiri Te Kanawa tonight for free at Carnegie Hall? Esp. if you have binoculars or glasses that correct for moderate nearsightedness you could lend me? I have free tix, and they're supposed to be good seats.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:18 PM
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283: Yes.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:18 PM
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OT: Dear partner-

Given that I emailed you a couple of hours ago to find out when I should come by to talk about next steps on the brief, the fact that walking by your office found you: (a) putting on your coat to go home without getting back to me but (b) willing to inform me on my inquiry about what's going on that there will be a conference call with cocounsel tomorrow morning that I need to be on to figure out how we're going to get this done over the weekend that (c) you weren't planning to tell me about because you won't be in tomorrow morning, does this suggest that we've got some communication issues going on that we should look into?

Argh.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 4:55 PM
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Your partners don't sound very collegial. I love the casual assumption that the work will be done on the weekend.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:09 PM
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No can do, Tia. Good luck!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:14 PM
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I had a gay prof who had mutton chops and I suggested to my girlfriend at the time that they were supposed to make the face resemble a vagina, but she said that was stupid.

It is. Also way heteronormative.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:16 PM
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287: Your partner needs to be killed *way* more than a teacher assigning parental homework.

Just sayin'.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:18 PM
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Lore Sjoberg seems to read Unfogged.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:20 PM
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Huh.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:25 PM
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288: Oh, the weekend work before filing something big on a Monday is absolutely normal -- that's not a problem.

291: But yes, he needs to be killed.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:26 PM
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The Pudding Stabber.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:26 PM
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293: Indeed. That's odd behavior.


Posted by: Jake | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:27 PM
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Well, he has me pegged.

OK people, fess up. Who's Lore Sjöberg?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:31 PM
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292 gave me the giggles so bad I couldn't read the labels to Mr. B.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:38 PM
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Lore is a former co-proprietor of the Brunching Shuttlecocks who's since moved into solo ventures.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:40 PM
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299: thanks, Ben, really.

Who here is Lore Sjöberg?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:45 PM
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Shearer.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:50 PM
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301 is way funnier than the "Who isn't?" I was working on.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:52 PM
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Sjöberg's "Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks" are also nicely done.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

There was an old father of Dylan
Who was seriously, mortally illin'
"I want," Dylan said
"You to bitch till you're dead.
"I'll be cheesed if you kick it while chillin'."


Posted by: Brodysattva | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 5:57 PM
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That's very good.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 6:02 PM
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does this suggest that we've got some communication asshole issues going on that we should look into?

Yes.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 6:16 PM
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Alanis Morisette lyric generator:


"Will to Live"

I feel miserable
Sandals make me ill
I feel miserable
Nails tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Lambs are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because of Jesus that I feel this way?
With the red rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Poe, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Barbara Broke My Will to Live
Barbara Broke My Will to Live
Barbara Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Barbara Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable
Lilies rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Haloes defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Disciples are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because of Jesus that I feel this way?
With the red rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Poe, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Barbara Broke My Will to Live
Barbara Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, Barbara Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Barbara Broke My Will to Live


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-11-07 6:29 PM
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Having read this thread, I finally opened the Fusion razor that had been mailed to me and had languished in the bathroom drawer. Verdict: gives good shave!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 7:59 AM
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I must say that I'm finding it highly entertaining to eavesdrop on the male Unfoggedariat obsess in such detail about personal grooming. (Laydeez, you wanna go somewhere and talk heel callouses?)

You're all* clearly a bunch of flaming metrosexuals, though.

*Except those of you who are wholesomely homosecksual.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 8:58 AM
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Hey, lady, I've only been shaved once since 1969, for bout 16 months when I was overseas. And my trimming is erratic. So there.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 9:00 AM
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Emerson prefers the full body wax. Because he's a feminist.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 9:01 AM
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My beard wasn't even on any of the beard pages Ogged put up.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 9:02 AM
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I think 286 was an ex-boyfriend of mine ...


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 10-12-07 9:49 AM
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