Oh my god, thank you so much for that.
Check out his movie roles:
Opponent
Lawyer
Lovestruck Doofus.
Then you need to look at his fitness page. Put on a shirt!
Oh, wait! Check out his scenes!
I know. It just keeps getting better and better.
Standin for Leann Rimes. I'm impressed.
I thought "Man in green shirt" was his most powerful performance.
I kind of feel bad for the poor guy. Yes, big old lame-o, but if someone sends you a ridiculous email off a dating site, shouldn't you take their name off it before forwarding it around? (Admittedly, the email went past ridiculous to nasty, but not quite bad enough to justify real-name humiliation.)
Ya know, he's gonna be reading this. I can just see him driving to Lake Wobegon to get me. I probably should swear out a restraining order.
He put a page about himself up on Wikipedia.
I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I have no emotional I.Q.
I think that's the problem, yes.
I understand the pyschology is to be angry at me.
max
['No... no you don't.']
Or whatever you call this:
He used my 98th percentile score on the SAT & ACT
Agree with LB. Tool, yes. Deserving of aggressive, threatening public vitriol, definitely not. The long response on his home page reinforced both of these impressions for me.
But some of it is clearly written in response to this incident -- it's got the email, and a poem about what a douche he is. So if he put it up, at least other people edited it.
The Wiki looks like a hoax to me, not a self-post.
The front page of his website is a long "do I really deserve this?" Kinda no, kinda yes, dude.
"Do I really deserve this?"
No.
"Was I totally asking for it, all the same?"
Yes.
You know, those of us who really fear public humiliation should never venture out onto the internet. Yet here we are, making cock jokes.
Hey! Check it out, I just got a cease and desist letter about the image linked in this post.
To
Any individual or organisation involved in the sale, print or web publication or any other form of reproduction or promotion of the image entitled "Nat/asha, P/eter, Z/ach & I/mo by Anna Ma/ltz.
Including
Anna Ma/ltz
Bridge Art Fair
The Art Newspaper
Re the image titled: Nat/asha, P/eter, Z/ack & I/mo
The artist Anna M/altz has not requested on any occasion or in any form permission to exploit this image for commercial gain. Nor has she received permission to offer this image of myself, my husband and my children for sale or reproduction.
She does not have permission to sell or publish and other images of any of us.
It is against the law to print or publish on the web pictures of this nature with out the written permission.
Failure to comply as of now will result in litigation.
We expect The Bridge Fair to immediately withdraw the image from all their publicity.
We expect The Art Newspaper not to publish this image in any further issues including that of the Sat 13th October.
We expect The Little Tree Gallery at The Bridge Art Fair or any subsequent shows, to remove these images from display and sale including images ordered but not yet printed or delivered.
We expect any other galleries anywhere including on line galleries exhibiting and selling Anna M/altz's selling images of us to withdraw these images from sale immediately.
We will seek compensation for any expenses we incur in seeking to have this image withdrawn from sale and circulation.
We reserve the right to take further action.
Nat/asha Gom/perts and Pet/er Par/ker
[European phone numbers deleted]
What do you make of this, imaginary lawyer friends?
Crossing Spider Man seems like a bad idea. I'd do what they say.
I bet John Fitzgerald knows the answer.
How the threads do come together--this fellow can't write for beans. I bet his cover letters are a stitch.
I feel kind of sorry for him, though. He's got just enough going for him with the modelling and whatever corporate nonsense he does that he seems unlikely to develop that so-essential self-doubt.
But seriously, you just linked to the picture, or posted it?
Apo, you might as well take down the link. It looks like you might otherwise be collateral damage in a legal fight between Nat/asha Gom/perts and Pet/er Par/ker and all the other people they named.
It's a link, but the file is hosted on my server.
Does the fact that they apparently live overseas have any bearing on my potential legal jeopardy?
Is there any good reason to stand on principle here? I'd take it down because they asked.
It's a link, but the file is hosted on my server.
Oh, right. Then you should probably take it down. I am so totally not a lawyer.
Oh, I haven't come up with any principle yet; I just like to have as much info as possible before making a decision.
If you copied it and didn't pay for it, or you did pay for it and the person you got it from didn't have permission, you're vulnerable. They C&D'ed you and unless you've got a strong reason to keep it up, you should probably remove it from your server. If you linked it from another server a C&D shouldn't matter. (So, if you found someone else's version and linked that, that's on them.)
Probably oughta google the names in question and see what pops.
max
['Berne Convention fun!']
Anyone got excitingly inconspicuous formatting tips for getting a 30 page document down to 20? This brief I'm filing on Monday just got hit with an unexpected change in the page count.
Change to a condensed font? Close up the leading? Then cut, cut, cut.
Yeah, a ~20% cut in length is hideable, but 50%?
Make like Jack the Ripper.
Hey, maybe D^2 could do a "shorter LB" for you.
You'd think they'd give word limits rather than page limits to avoid this kind of perfidy.
Adjust everything a little. Move to .9" margins. Use 9.5 point font. Reformat bulleted lists as paragraphs. Replace repeated phrases with acronyms.
Decide that they aren't including endnotes in the page count, then move whole arguments to the endnotes.
a condensed font?
What's smaller than TNR but doesn't look weird?
A serious tip, from someone who does this sort of cutting down way too much -- give it to another associate who doesn't know about the case, and ask them to edit solely for length. Shouldn't take more than 3 or 4 hours tops. Nobody can edit their own work as well as fresh eyes. Offer to do the same for him or her in exchange.
Decide that they aren't including endnotes in the page count
apocryphally, this scurvy trick on the part of lawyers was responsible for that profession being about five years behind the rest of the world in changing from WordPerfect (which doesn't include notes in the word count by default) to Word (which does).
For a shrink of that size, formatting is no good. Chop the document and be ruthless.
I remember that story. This isn't so bad -- we've got the whole weekend for it.
38 is good advice.
I believe that Garamond is significantly smaller than TNR (which is hella ugly - what's wrong with you people?).
Oh, I'm chopping like mad. If they don't have jurisdiction under the NYS statute, we don't need to mention the Constitution, and so on.
Perpetua is also smaller (and designed to be legible at small sizes). If you have spaces between paragraphs, you can reduce their size.
Erm. I come here for the smut and gossip, and I'm stuck with prescriptive grammar to Word formatting. You can only give anal massage to coots for so long. I'm bored and my procrastination methodology is being threatened.
34 -- The FRAP has gone to word counts. Most jurisdictions with page counts have stricl limits on margins, font size, what can be in a footnote (which are single spaced, while text in double spaced).
I'd start be deleting extra citation. You don't need 3 cases for a proposition if the first two cover it, and for the simple and obvious propositions -- summary judgment standard, for example -- you might as well go bare. If you have to have a string cite or two, then maybe putting all cases in footnotes will get you a page or so. Obviously, any paragraph with less then 3 words in its last line needs some careful editing. That's maybe half a page, but it it moves section breaks, then you'll have accomplished something.
Just use abbreviations like LOL, WRT, IYKWIM, etc.
Yes, Garamond is smaller than Times. If you've got Garamond Condensed, better still.
Also, Emerson is right--wherever you have "Laughing Out Loud", replace with LOL. Replacing "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off" with ROTFLMAO will save a lot of space.
OTOH, BRB doesn't save all that much room, so you may as well leave those in there.
Garamond just bought me a page. Sweet!
cut all substantive arguments -- snark & personal attacks require less space, and are less boring anyway
no room for punctuation either
apocryphally, this scurvy trick on the part of lawyers was responsible for that profession being about five years behind the rest of the world in changing from WordPerfect (which doesn't include notes in the word count by default) to Word (which does).
We still haven't switched.
Nothing against Garamond, but you'd better check the rules. The Seventh Circuit rules tell you what fonts they like -- iirc, Book Antiqua is the favorite.
I know I'm late but, man, can we get back to this John FitzGerald guy?
I started in "the business" years ago modeling for Wright Models during high school. I used my 98th percentile score on the SAT & ACT to acquire a Mensa membership then combined that with my 97th percentile G.P.A. to go on to a five star collegiate program. I was educated at the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League institution founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin - the oldest university in the nation.
I can't breathe, I can't breathe.
Jesus, I'm glad I'm not a professional. Probably someone has been sent to the electric chair somewhere because his lawyer used the wrong font.
This never would have happened if Penn State hadn't been let into the ivy league.
John, you can admire a video of Katie Holmes being too inept to open her car door.
This never would have happened if Penn State hadn't been let into the ivy league.
AYPK, it's a running joke amongst ivy league undergrads that U Penn students are paranoid about not being mistaken for a state school, and pathologically say "U Penn and other Ivies" when referring to the place.
59--
you mean:
it's a running joke among ug's at the *real* ivies.
This guy really is a master of resume inflation. It's the oldest university (I didn't say college); I took classes at Wharton (I didn't say got a degree); I lunched with the Secretary of State (I didn't say spoke to).
Hey! The hockey-thug Paterno-professor French minority dude is gonna be on you guys' asses in a Philadelphia-lawyer minute!
61--
oh, is that it? i had thought it was a flat out lie, but it was really weasely parsing?
so you mean for some reason harvard, yale, william & mary, rutgers, and god only knows where else were only colleges before that, not universities? (or were only colleges up to whatever date at which penn became a college?)
57, 59: It's even worse. There's a whole line of "Not Penn State" t-shirts.
That's one hell of a cummerbund he's got. Stylin'
It was Secretary of Defense, and if it was Rumsfeld, dude deserves every ounce of scorn directed his way.
Oops, Secretary of Defense. SecDef as those of us who have read people who have lunched with him call it.
Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?
Amazing.
You have to admit, baa, that in that picture, he's the very picture of an angry alcoholic. Real Method stuff.
I still feel a little bad for the guy, but OMG, have you seen his Tiger Beer commercial?
Do ya'll think this guy is for real? I know there are oblivious people in the world, but for anyone who's been near a movie set to seriously list the celebrities he resembles as determined by some hokey online facial recognition scan...I dunno. But I choose to believe.
Nu, when are we going to set this guy up with JMPP? It's a match made in heaven!
when are we going to set this guy up with JMPP
That's exactly what I thought when I read the email apo linked. Alas, I think she recently got married.
73: She's married, I think. (Poor bastard.)
No way? Huh, well, maybe she has a sister?
76: Not one that JMPP would let live. You think she just lets people suck up resources that rightfully belong to her?
Someone just pointed out that JMPP is legitimately intelligent, whereas this guy is not. And I doubt he ever lets you forget it.
Do ya'll think this guy is for real?
Yes. And I'm usually the first one running to Snopes.
I feel bad for him. Ditto what LB and Nick said in 6 and 12.
Continuing OT narcissism: Love new secretary. She rationalized the styles in all the headings in the brief this afternoon (they'd been pasted in from three different offices in all sorts of styles), so I can move stuff around easily without having to wrestle with it. Competent people are so nice to have around.
Is she single? Does she want to date a high-quality man?
DIALECTS & ACCENTS: English, Southern, New Yorker, Aristocrat, British, Irish, Australian, French, Indian
That could've been cute and clever if it had been aristocat.
but for anyone who's been near a movie set to seriously list the celebrities he resembles as determined by some hokey online facial recognition scan
The hokey facial scan is fun! I got Alessandra Ambrosia (or whatever the hell her name is) once!
Anyways, it's like Personality Disorder month. This guy is a classic narcissist...
An overnight internet pariah for sending a girl a personal email? Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person. Before you cast the next stone - would you like your life ruined over anything you have ever said or written? My reputation is all I have. It has been severely damaged and can never be repaired. I cannot fight an overwhelming army of bloggers.
... complete with the full-on drama queen. And narcissists lie, so half that shit is fake anyways. Which prevents me from feeling too terribly sorry for him.
max
['You cannot unsee this sorta thing.']
in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
I myself am Ms On-a-schedule, but this is insane.
Tough to have any sympathy for the guy, but...it does arise out of one my big pet peeves: the online personals "wink".
What the hell is with a "wink" - "I hereby give you permission to contact me in an attempt to impress me"?
Is it too much to ask to spend a buck to initiate a conversation?
I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!
Where I will lift 284.75 pounds a total of 42 times.
With 272-second breaks in between.
Aleksey Vay/ner, in five years, that is you.
Which I have done in 33.7 of the 50.0 states in the last 12 3/17ths years!
Aleksey Vay/ner, in five years, that is you.
Did you read the front page? He says, "I am not Alexsey Vayner."
see this is the difference between our two great nations. Me or nattarGcM would have seen that, gone "what a c-word" and saved ourselves 90 comments.
Wales & Scotland, united into one nation. The English don't know that they lost.
It's the path, not the destination, dsq.
Mr.John Fitzgerald Page did not graduate from or matriculate at the Wharton school. I checked the alumni page with my own spectacles. He may have walked through Huntsman hall, however.
BF
95: "I took my name out of the database to avoid donation solicitations."
U Penn students are paranoid about not being mistaken for a state school, and pathologically say "U Penn and other Ivies" when referring to the place.
"State school" and "Ivy" are not mutually exclusive.
Ivy State. I graduated there extra cum laude, lettering in football and soccer.
98: Do you mean Cornell? It's (in part) a statutory college rather than a state school.
Cornell is a weird hybrid. Some fo the ag stuff (and maybe the veterinary school) are state run. Cornell also happens to have a lot of programs that most Ivies would look down on, e.g., an undergraduate program in hotel management. (I think that I got that right.)
Beauty Shop - Lovestruck Doofus
He's played a doofus.
Everything I have ever worked for in my life has been sullied in one day, by one person.
Two people.
He's played a doofus.
I'll bet he nailed it.
damn. sullivan pisses me off sometimes.
he got pissy because ezra k. ripped him a new one on the hillarycare article. and so now sully is making shit up about ezra being a scarrrrry stalinist partisan enemy of free thought.
damn it. i'm canceling my subscription to that bald irish fucker's blog.
I'm sick and cold, sore cold, and fear I may be nearing the end. Who will administer extreme unction?
Who will administer extreme unction?
You might could talk Emerson into a little anal massage.
I'll mail some unction down. Hang in there for three days.
you you mean for some reason harvard, yale, william & mary, rutgers, and god only knows where else were only colleges before that, not universities?
Don't forget St. John's College, nee King Williams' School. Of course, SJC is still not a university.
111--
don't tell me you're a croquet-player.
112: Me, along with members of Lizardbreath's and Teo's family.
Isn't Cornell's hotel management program the best in the country? I thought they were proud of it.
106: I know, kid bitzer, that fucking pissed me off too. the quote he brought in to support this alleged hyper-partisan unfortunateness on ezra's part was...totally orthogonal to any such claims. weirdly so, like, did he think that in addition to not clicking through to read the post, we might well not read the stuff he quoted on his own blog? just because it hurts to get pwned by a whippersnapper.
Isn't Cornell's hotel management program the best in the country?
Yes.
115: Yes, but within Cornell Hotelies are mainly reputed for their light workload. I don't know what the program is really like though; maybe that's just freshmen.
Deserving of aggressive, threatening public vitriol, definitely not.
I'm sorry. His email to that woman was aggressive and assholish, and you know, all she did was reprint the man's own words. Tough titty.