Re: 900-foot Jesus wants you to have a 16-year-old boyfriend.

1

So tawdry. They billed their kids' vandalism to the University? That'll make people more angry than the underage boyfriend. And there's a curfew in Tulsa? Weird.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:30 PM
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I hate you for not telling me that the complaint was a pdf. I don't need that icky crap on my hard drive, you bastard.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:30 PM
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2: Um, okay.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:33 PM
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4

Quite a bit less oblique. How is this institution likely to be reorganized? Anybody up on this kind of thing? I remember when PTL was taken over by Falwell in the '80s, but ORU is a much more established institution than that.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:33 PM
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Smoking! She was *smoking* with her underage boyfriend!

I have to admit, the smoking thing actually sort of shocked me. Not on Mormon grounds, but just because jeez, he's only a *kid*.

I realize that's insane. But you have to admit it's funny.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:34 PM
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3: I take it back, this is some good reading. Thanks, apo!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:36 PM
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Man, I hope someone sent that to the IRS.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:38 PM
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8

Mrs. Roberts is my idol. If I am ever vested with a tiny bit of authority, I hope to abuse it in exactly that manner.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:40 PM
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9

Comical allegations alternate with abuse of privilege that should make their hair stand on end, without distinguishing which are the serious, and which not.

I presume the Trustees are Roberts family loyalists, but this threatens the institution, possibly already fatally wounded, and they've got to act or go down.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:42 PM
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Comical allegations alternate with abuse of privilege

That's the formula for a wingnut scandal.

These people are living in some kind of Christian fundie theme park. And in terms of religious wackiness, they really are at the far end of the spectrum. Oral Roberts claimed to have raised people from the dead.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:47 PM
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I thought it was pretty much born fatally wounded. Schools that want to be taken seriously should choose names that suggest something more august than Tulsa Cunnilingus Academy for Guys Named Bob.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:48 PM
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Lindsay Roberts denies any wrongdoing. In a statement, she insists that she lives in "a morally upright manner."

When evening comes she feels so upright,
She needs a boy to calm her down by moonlight.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:50 PM
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"a morally upright manner."

The first space was inserted by ORU's damage control flack.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:56 PM
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11: It's had a long run then.

Always absurd to me, but clearly not to others. There are serious books about Roberts, but I can't say I've read them. Oral Roberts is the tent-meeting-to-landmark-status story par excellence, and it doesn't seem it'll survive the founder for long.

But so much money...


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:56 PM
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I am sorry, it is impossible to be morally upright with a 2,000 square foot walk in closet. Period.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 6:57 PM
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it is impossible to be morally upright with a 2,000 square foot walk in closet.

And apparently that closet is full of clothing from Chico's.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:00 PM
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15: That's the Revised New Standard International King James for Young Readers translation of the camel passing through the eye of the needle bit, right?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:00 PM
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16: I mean, seriously. Chico's???


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:02 PM
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B, don't your .pdfs open in your browser, then go away unless you so choose?


Posted by: Counterfly | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:04 PM
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20

Can one of you unpack the semiotics of Chico's, please?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:05 PM
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I'm guessing the Chico's clothing was a demand of the 16-year-old blond boy. He must have had one of those catalogs lying around the house when he was learning about ladies, rather than a proper secular home, where he'd have had a Victoria's Secret wankrag.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:08 PM
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http://www.chicos.com/store/home.aspChicos.

Like a downmarket wannabe Ann Taylor. Poorly tailored, unlined, poly blend fabrics. Ick.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:08 PM
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It's very very flowy old-lady clothing. Like Eileen Fisher, but with lots of bright colors and prints.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:08 PM
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24

Nevermind 23. They seem to have discovered since the mid-90's that women have something called a "waist."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:09 PM
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17: A couple of years ago, there was this bestselling book, the Book of [J____?, or perhaps the Prayer of J____?]. I'm pretty sure it starts with a J, and anyway, it's all about praying for worldly success and material largesse as outward signs of inner worthiness or something. The most extreme corruption of Calvinism that I can imagine...unless I'm making this up? But no, I'm almost certain it was a trend...


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:10 PM
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All three of my cousins on my mom's side went to ORU, two with big discounts as 'legacies.' One even turned down a full athletic scholarship to Urbana-Champaign. I was distraught.

They all live in Tulsa now. I feel kind of bad for them.


Posted by: Counterfly | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:10 PM
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27

24 made me laugh.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:11 PM
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It's way crappier quality than Eileen Fisher. When you are an old woman, you will wear purple Chicos. (In actual fact, plenty of middle-aged people shop there, I think, but it's a very dowdy/"arty"/flowy/hideous look that I totally associate with the kind of people who have that bumper sticker. Wild women don't get the blues, either, did you know?)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:12 PM
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29

The thing is, you can do flowy arty *if you do it right*. Like, you know, perhaps natural fabrics might help.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:12 PM
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25: Jabez, I think?


Posted by: TJ | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:13 PM
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29: Indeed! I consider my scare quotes absolutely crucial there. Also, Ogged needs to know that the clothing is uglier in person than you can even imagine from the website.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:15 PM
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30: Thank you. Yes, Jabez it is. It's Tony Robbins meets the Handmaid's Tale.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:16 PM
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22 and 29: I'm amused by your contempt for the poly blends. Not that I disagree, mind you.


Posted by: Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:17 PM
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28, 29: Exactly. My ex's mom wore Eileen Fisher, and she looked sharp, even at 80. There are clothes for women who don't want to look like slutty 20-somethings, but it seems you have to pay big bucks for them to hang right.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:17 PM
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31: So true. ::Shudder::


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:17 PM
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33: They wear terribly. And at those prices!


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:19 PM
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36: Chico's clothing always has that cheap, cheap applied ornament that says "child labor."


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:38 PM
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38

Also awful colors.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:39 PM
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39

Jabez was big with Derrida too.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-17-07 7:42 PM
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I still think she was, in a manner of speaking, doing the Lord's work; think of all the bullshit this joint was designed to shovel into 16 year old boys, and tell me she wasn't a healthy countervailing influence.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 3:43 AM
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41

What's with that PDF? Crude preparatory notes stuck in at the end?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 5:54 AM
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42

I agree with Alex. The Lord was helping those boys through her.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 5:58 AM
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43

Weird shit in that PDF. Her husband was apparently involved in getting the 16-year-old moved into their house. That ought to raise some eyebrows. (And the daughter asked for a deadbolt on her bedroom door? Creepy!)


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 6:34 AM
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And the daughter asked for a deadbolt on her bedroom door? Creepy!

Agreed! The daughter sounds totally creepy.


Posted by: feldspar | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 7:13 AM
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45

Theological ramifications whatever-- this is hot. I love it.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 7:29 AM
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46

While searching for the student blogs referred to in the complaint I found myself searching for Mrs. Robinson instead of Mrs. Roberts.

Just sayin'.


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 7:33 AM
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47

Um. This detail escaped me on the first scan-through, but the Scandal Assessment Report which we were all giggling over was prepared by one Stephanie Cantees, who is Lindsay Roberts' sister.

Woah.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 7:50 AM
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So is this another sign of the imminent demise of the entire religious right because of the corruption and hypocrisy of their leadership?

I take it the collapse will be complete when there are simply no leaders left with any credibility amongst rank and file Christians for Republican candidates to court.

I've been looking forward to news analysis pieces like "After the fifth CEO of Focus on the Family was brought down in the transsexual Furry scandal in less than a month, leadership of the group fell to a 18 year old with no political experience who wanted to use the group to promote his Christian metal band."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:00 AM
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I toured ORU when applying to colleges (more out of courtesy to a good friend who went there than out of any real interest). That place is wacky. And: much less serious scholarship than you might expect at a university (though perhaps not less serious scholarship than you might expect at a university whose founder claimed to raise the dead).


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:07 AM
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And, most importantly, that .pdf isn't working for me. I'm guessing the tulsaworld.com servers can't handle the load unfogged is throwing at them. This makes me sad, because I love scandal.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:09 AM
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I'm struck by how many accusations of vandalism, threats of retaliation, and petty abuses of power are in the "Scandal Vulnerability Assessment." Real Junior High stuff. Isn't it enough to be rich and powerful--why you gotta be so mean?

#48. Yeah, it's getting so that a wingnut scandal without buttplugs or fetish gear, just isn't scandalous enough.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:16 AM
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52

Brock, you can download the good part here.

(47 was me)


Posted by: neil | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:19 AM
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From the administrivia after the main blog post linked in 0:

By posting a comment, you affirm that you are 13 years of age or older

...but no older than 17, single, interested in advanced instruction in esoteric, spiritual techniques and willing to be contacted by Mrs. Roberts.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:29 AM
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54

What must it be like growing up in such an environment? Are the children taught openly that the whole thing is a scam, to publicly display piety and privately demand whatever they want? What would happen to such a child if she is pushed into the real world?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 8:42 AM
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Mrs. Robinson instead of Mrs. Roberts

More Mrs. Wormer, really.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 11:22 AM
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#54, said child when pushed into the real world then becomes President of the United States. Duh.


Posted by: Badtux | Link to this comment | 10-18-07 5:38 PM
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Re: Chico's.

Last night, me and Mrs. NCP went to Big Local Museum for an artsy event. Earlier, I'd told her about the Chico's reference on this thread (her mom is a big consumer of the Chico's). Anyway, at the event, Mrs. NCP reveled in pointing out the Chico's wear on display:

"That top."

"That dress."

"Right there, Chico's head to toe."

It was omnipresent!


Posted by: NCProsecutor | Link to this comment | 10-19-07 9:10 AM
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