Christ, some retard libertarian type was making the WWII analogies at work recently. Other insights included "it's tough to get things under control over there because Arabs love to fight".
because Arabs love to fight
Wait a minute. I thought they were cowards who shied away from a real fight, but were happy to wreak mayem among the innocent and then slip away to hide among civilians.
I can't even keep my stereotypes straight anymore.
Man, we're so lucky that Communism lacks the power to attract fanatical loyalists willing to sacrifice themselves for the cause.
Let me be the umpteenth gazillionth person who's made the observation that Norman Podhoretz is so insanely vain he bases his bed-wetting on imagining an Islamofascist him.
You're all going to be pretty embarrassed if it turns out that modern day Iranians--in "Boys from Brazil" fashion--are Hitler.
So crazy! So Hitler!
It would be a crime if you didn't remix this into a personals ad.
3: Yeah, that book The God That Failed -- and many like it -- what ideology was that about again? I guess that stuff is no longer operative.
Clearly Podhoretz is undetterable. We should probably nuke his apartment.
If it's any consolation, it's probably better for us all that the Podhoretzes of the world are obsessively betwetting about Iran instead of China, which seemed to have pole position for the role of Nation's Mortal Enemy back during the early months of 2001.
Because one war was at one point believed to be unnecessary, we should err on the side of caution and act as if all wars are necessary. I agree with this logic, since we can fight wars at no expense to ourselves and without harming innocent people.
If it's any consolation, it's probably better for us all that the Podhoretzes of the world are obsessively betwetting about Iran instead of China, which seemed to have pole position for the role of Nation's Mortal Enemy back during the early months of 2001.
I don't know, it seems like it would show a little more maturity to start World War III strictly on economic/imperialist grounds rather than out of fear of Islam.
I don't know, it seems like it would show a little more maturity to start World War III strictly on economic/imperialist grounds rather than out of fear of Islam.
I'm just saying, if we're going to let these fuckers go around escalating tensions willy-nilly, I'd prefer they do it to a country that is neither nuclear armed nor holding our economy by metaphorical testicles (though we may find that the latter assumption is a bit optimistic if we push the Iranians hard enough).
God, Podhoretz. Now there's somebody I'd like to see dive into a too-shallow pool.
Man, he is Blinky McBlinkerson, isn't he?
Now there's somebody I'd like to see dive into a too-shallow pool.
Good times.
Why does Fareed Zakaria love Hitler?
God, Podhoretz. Now there's somebody I'd like to see dive into a too-shallow pool.
Are you kidding? And have to endure the encomia that would inevitably ensue?
Now I know why ogged is so mean to me. So Hitler!
Podhoretz thinks we should bomb anyone who makes claims that they want to bomb another country. Who's going to bomb us, I ask you? I think somebody said "Jehovah."
The second sentence of this post needs some work.
21: Go back to ruining cakes, w-lfs-n.
"So Hitler" is the new "So very."
Podhoretz thinks we should bomb anyone who makes claims that they want to bomb another country. Who's going to bomb us, I ask you?
Ooh, ooh, I know this one! The answer is "terrorists"! Terrorists will bomb us. And then we'll react in a responsible fashion by killing lots of people in random third-world countries, whose survivors will form terrorist cells to bomb us again.
Times like this, I become very grateful to Sausagely for accompanying every post about Iran with a quotidien snapshot of Iranians just kicking it out and about, not looking very Hitler.
But I wish Zakaria would've just said at some point "Know who else wanted a war as badly as you do, Norman? That's right. Hitler! Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!" When more of these people are mocked instead of debated with, we'll all be better for it.
Hitler was nice to dogs, but I'm not. Don't bomb me, bro.
21: I misread this as "the second sentence of this comment [i.e., 21] needs some work" and thought it was very clever. Well done, w-lfs-n.
Hitler was nice to dogs
Well then, he's safe from Jack London, at least.
26: Oh man, how I wish that had happened.
As long as Yglesias doesn't use this one.
Right before Zakaria pushed him into the shallow pool, that is.
26: Oh man, how I wish that had happened.
Nah, that's exactly the kind of response the Podians want: he mocks us for worrying about Hitler, etc., Zakaria is an anti-semite, doesn't care if Jews die, etc. A Jew needs to be the one to say that they're making a mockery of the Holocaust.
Sean Penn showing up in your troubled area does seem to be a harbringer of doom.
God, Podhoretz. Now there's somebody I'd like to see dive into a too-shallow pool. found bound and asphyxiated in double layered wetsuits, rubber underwear , and dildos.
35: I am become Spicoli, destroyer of worlds.
I am become Spicoli, destroyer of worlds.
Hey, if any of y'all aren't feeling old enough, Fast Times at Ridgemont High came out a mere 25 years ago in August 1982.
This blog is boring today. Come on, people!
All men are rapists, Linda Hirshman is the next Hitler, and Hillary Clinton's cackling all the way to bombing Tehran.
Discuss!
10: I don't know, it seems like it would show a little more maturity to start World War III strictly on economic/imperialist grounds rather than out of fear of Islam.
I dunno about that. It would definitely show more honor, sure. Picking on someone your own size and all that. But if mature = "prudent and guided by long-term self-interest," then the most mature option of all is not to seek out and antagonize a mortal enemy at all, followed closely by seeking out one who isn't very threatening. That describes Iran much better than China.
There really isn't any way to associate `honorable' with aggressive war, whether xenophobic or imperialist in nature.
40: Thanks a lot, Ruprecht. Christ.
I never hear Iranian-Americans asked about this situation. Granted, my news sources these days are limited basically to NPR, the NYT, the NYRB and a few others (including, of course, Unfogged), but if I didn't know better, I'd think that there's not a substantial Iranian community in the US.
#34. Maybe. But most of what passes for a discussion of politics on TV is a mockery already. I wish there were more people willing to point that out.
41: Excellent, excellent points! Do you think these things re the result of too much or of too little cussing out of snotty 12-year old boys?
Hey, if any of y'all aren't feeling old enough, Fast Times at Ridgemont High came out a mere 25 years ago in August 1982.
I finally saw that movie for the first time about two years ago, I think it was. I really liked it. Perhaps that's because I was born in August 1982.
This blog is boring today.
Britney Spears' mother is writing a book on parenting for a Christian publishing house.
41: You forgot "men suck."
Times change and the Winchells disappear. But Podhoretz has had a much longer run than I would have thought possible. The sheer number of undead opinionators still around from the sixties, gone rancid generations ago, is very disturbing. The culture's been stuck in a loop for a very long time, at least on certain subjects.
48: Thus proving both the existence of God and the crudeness of His sense of humor.
I never hear Iranian-Americans asked about this situation.
Isn't the general position basically the same as ogged's? ("Yes, the government there sucks, but Jesus Fuck, don't bomb it, and no, I won't tell you my name because I don't want to get rendered.") There are always a few freakish exile-types who believe that bombing will lead to democracy or a restoration of the Shah, but I get the sense that this is a secretive minority, who knows better than to voice such things in public.
Oh, you are very good Apo. Themes of bad mothering leading to the desparate descent of a prematurely sexualized starlet all intersecting with the redemptive power of faith! Will God and the love of her mother be enought to rescue poor Brit?
I'm more curious to find out whether Britney's mom is going to flash her cooter in order to generate publicity for the book.
And who, oh who, will save me from my typo affliction today? I did manage to catch the inadvertent typing of "lover" in place of "love" before posting 52, but in retrospect the mistypoed version was probably more interesting.
Will God and the love of her mother be enough to rescue poor Brit?
Jesus, Di, you really did drink deeply from that well back in the day, didn't you? Your command of its idiom is impressive.
51: See, that's exactly it. It doesn't take much reading to know that many Iranians are sympathetic to the US; merely mentioning the spontaneous 9/11 candlelight vigils in Tehran should clue people in, really. From that, it's not difficult to understand that bombing the place would likely alienate all those people in a profound and lasting way, and there's any number of Iranians now living in the US who could make that point.
I suspect, disheartened, that I've answered my own question.
55: It was a short-lived phase, but I do have a tendency to latch onto speech patterns pretty quickly. You should hear how I talk since I started hanging out here.
Po-Mo Polymath has some novel childrearing insights for Britney's mom's book.
Might be hard to shoehorn into the evangelical framework, though.
You should hear how I talk since I started hanging out here.
Was this before or after the divorce?
56: There were lots of normal, ordinary, human people in Iraq under Saddam, too, and it didn't stop America from slaughtering the place. And there was an active campaign by anti-war people to show pictures of smiling Iraqi families, Iraqi children at play, etc. with messages like "we just want to live, please don't bomb our country." But if you're born outside the borders of the United States - particularly with dark skin - your life's worth shit. No one who matters cared back then about those people's lives, and they still don't now. The only hope of avoiding a further bloodbath is that the soulless fucks who run the world have decided that this time, killing innocent people is bad for business.
The only hope of avoiding a further bloodbath is that the soulless fucks who run the world have decided that this time, killing innocent people is bad for business.
I don't often find myself in agreement with stras, but there is wisdom in this remark. Actually, I think there are two obstacles (speedbumps?) on the road to war. One is the leadership of the Army, which has to be worried about US forces next door on both sides of Iran. The second is the risk that disruptions in the supply of oil could drive gasoline prices through the roof and throw the economy into recession in an election year.
My guess is that the most likely outcome is some kind of "limited" bombing action--large enough to polarize the electorate around a foreign enemy, but small enough to minimize the risk of escalation into full scale conflict.
Was this before or after the divorce?
Well, if by "divorce" you mean "the final judgment entered by a court of competent jurisdiction formally dissolving a marriage," I'm going to have to go with "before." I'm sure I will still be stuck with this potty mouth, though, after it is final, too. (What? You ask? But haven't you been whining about the divorce for, like, forever? Why yes! Apparently the legal system is slow and inefficient. Fucking lawyers.)
I wonder if Mama Spears' has any good advice to offer about parenting in a broken home.
In case anyone cares, I'm looking out the window at the Red Sox parade going past. The crowd is going crazy. Yay, Sox!
62: Oh yeah, and it's almost taco time for all of America, isn't it? Thanks to Jacoby Ellsbury, whose Navajo name means 'Brings Tacos Stealing.'
61: Man, is that length of time a Massachusetts thing, or is there some specific holdup?
62: They ought to be wearing laurel wreaths, for they came, saw, conquered. Hail Francona! Hail Papelbon!
Alternative allusion, for those who don't appreciate the Roman thing: And when they thought that the suffering of Christ had been sufficiently revenged with the blood of the infidels and Tim McCarver, they went in tears to pray at the Tomb of Ted Williams.
Seriously, that victory was full of inspiration.
Except that you don't live in Massachusetts, which I know, but am unable to remember. For some reason, I have you firmly placed in the Boston area in my head.
66 -- If Di had Papelbon handling her divorce, it'd be done by now. Maybe a dramatic pick-off in there too.
re: 64
Takes a couple of years in the UK. Isn't the US the same?
It's state-by-state, like so many other things. Totally unopposed in New Jersey, I've seen it take well less than a year, from unexpected announcement that the marriage was at an end to final decree. New York is formally slower, because you need grounds for divorce, and the only one that doesn't require proving that someone did something bad is a year's abandonment. But most states have no-fault.
Six month minimum in CA. Arguing about the division of assets or child custody can take as long as you have money.
arguing about assets for as long as you have money contains its own solution.
Nonetheless, as my father says, divorces cost more than weddings, but they're worth it.
And as I say, whatever you say about funerals, unlike weddings they almost always work.
As long as you take the necessary precautions. Garlic, crossroads, etc.
Uncontested, for people who have already lived separate and apart, and just need for it to be formally over, can be quite quick. The time from your filing to the prove-up, a few weeks, used to be when I did them.
Uncontested is the operative word.
And of course there's a huge difference if there are assets to divide, and kids.
Didn't Solomon propose a way to deal with that?
76: Easy: Just split them right down the middle. Helps if you have even numbers of offspring, though.
Quotes from the Great Bloggers: we've had a wave of Dsquared adulation today, now it's time for In the future, everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes.
The old "husband gets the assets, wife gets the kids" principle was so simple and elegant. Shame about that.
AWB, kids aren't fungible. That's why you have to award 1/2 of each one to each parent. A laser cutter should be able to do this quite accurately.
In North Carolina, you're supposed to be separated for a year before you can get a divorce, but there is no legal process to initiate a separation. You just sign an affidavit confirming you've been separated for a year when you file for divorce.
80: That'll be $8.00, please. These sophomoric references ain't free.
82: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"
And as I say, whatever you say about funerals, unlike weddings they almost always work.
They're just as expensive, though. The only thing stranger than the wedding-industrial complex is the funeral-industrial complex.
For my father's funeral we incurred an unnecessary, unwanted extra $1000 cost, even though my father had given very detailed instructions. For my mother's funeral we were fully prepared, and the mortician didn't even offer any of the bells and whistles.
79: I'm cutting edge on this one. Blume and DS have been awarded that title this very day.
86: Yeah, it's horrendously predatory. If someone dies unexpectedly, you're stuck arranging a process that you can't legally postpone or do yourself and that you know nothing about, at a time you're probably quite upset. It's very tempting to just do exactly what you're told, which runs into a great deal of money.
Basically, no-fault requires two-years' separation in Illinois, though that can be waived by agreement of the parties in which case it's six months minimum. TLL gets it in 70 -- you can fight forever over money, particularly if you have at least one lawyer willing to keep feeding her client silly hopes that he'll be getting piles and piles of cash that are somehow going to blossom miraculously from my ass.
The system favors trying to resolve things "amicably," so you can spend an eternity "negotiating" before the judge and/or lawyers will recognize that you just need to set a trial date already. Which has, actually, been set. So the end is indeed near. Perhaps on that bright and shining day when finally my house is freed of the dread scourge I will invite all of you to come join me in celebration.
It's really quite similar to the wedding industry, except that they're targeting different emotional responses and the time frame is so much shorter. If you've prepared in advance, as we had, it's pretty easy to avoid most of the pitfalls, but you can just tell from the way the funeral home people treat you (a lot of smarm and attempts to establish trust) that people who are unprepared mostly just get guided through it step by step, and probably end up paying dearly for it.
And Jessica Mitford wrote The American Way of Death many years ago.
Planning helps; so do such workarounds as burial societies, not available to Teo's family because they are so isolated from concentrations of Jews.
The only thing stranger than the wedding-industrial complex is the funeral-industrial complex.
The latter is far worse, and not only because it preys on people in their most vulnerable moments. There are still a lot of small local caterers and wedding planners plying their trade, while the "death care" business been in large part rolled up by national corporations like Service Corporation International. The Wikipedia entry looks like it is closely monitored by management, because the really bad stuff is soft-pedaled.
That all said, John's advice in 73 would seem to work, too.
Yeah, I did the preliminary steps on behalf of the widow of the friend that died last year, and it was a lot of soothing talk and reluctance to discuss specifics or prices in a cost-conscious way.
Planning helps; so do such workarounds as burial societies, not available to Teo's family because they are so isolated from concentrations of Jews.
There is actually a chevrah kadishah here, but we couldn't use it for my dad because he wasn't Jewish.
We found that following Jewish tradition as far as it was applicable was a good way to go, because it meant we had ready answers for a lot of the questions we faced.
91: Perhaps one difference is that you can opt out --- most places you can get married for the price of a licence and a J.P. (under $100, probably). It's harder to opt out of the funeral industry, isn't it?
If I could just figure out a way to ritualize and charge money for singleness, I'd be home free. Hmm..... a lay religious order would do it. Moderate entry fee, singleness ritual in graded degrees of elaborateness, singleness renewal ceremonies and fines for backsliders, group health insurance, singleness tours (? people ignoring one another together ?), singleness advocacy.....
Probably I'll just tack this on when LaRouche kicks off and I take over his cult.
I think there are very low cost crematoria - no service, just take the body and give you a box of ashes.
a lot of soothing talk and reluctance to discuss specifics or prices
And if you press the point, you get something like: "Well, our most economical casket is $450. It's made of fiberboard. We typically use it for indigents, wards of the state, that sort of thing. For $800 we offer our basic wooden casket..."
The business model of SCI was incredibly simple. They bought out existing funeral homes for about a 10% premium over the discounted cash flow value, then promptly raised the prices by 15% when they took over.
98: Did you forget the possibility of Covenant Singleness?
In Oregon, at least, DIY funerals are allowed, and there's a guy who does cheapo $500 funerals. There are rules to prevent scandal and nuisance, of course. One guy actually wanted to be dumped in a national forest for the carrion eaters, but no go.
Probably I'll just tack this on when LaRouche kicks off and I take over his cult.
I linked to this article yesterday and no one seemed to notice, but it really is worth a read.
I think there are very low cost crematoria - no service, just take the body and give you a box of ashes.
A friend's family took this approach when her grandfather died -- low-cost cremation, ashes placed in a mason jar from his cupboard and buried out back beneath his favorite tree. And truly, the most fitting tribute for the simple, no-frills decedent in question.
The death care industry is as good an example of regulatory capture as you'll ever find. Licensing is regulated at a state level, and the producer cartel has managed to capture the licensing procedure to suppress competition while avoiding any real oversight (as the occasional horror stories illustrate).
In some states, the funeral home lobby has even gotten the legislature to forbid the sale of caskets by anyone other than a funeral home. Costco has done the Lord's work in fighting those laws in court.
102: Now, a truly sagacious homme d'affaires would take this example, tie it in a knot with the onrushing future of dead and dying Boomers, and start a business offering sky-burial funeral trips to the Himalayan states.
Don't thank me; just remember me in your incentive compensation plan.
They bought out existing funeral homes
And don't forget, kept the name of the local who had built the business over generations so as to keep the goodwill of the community.
A mortician was found in Oregon with a 13-stiff backlog in his garage, together with evidence that no one ever got the actual ashes of their deceased unit.
105: Yeah, we were told "No cremations without a casket". That's where the $1000 went. He may have had a cheaper casket, but he rightly assumed that we wouldn't ask.
Best veteran's benefit- free funeral and decent headstone in a national cemetary.
106: I'm sure it's being done.
109: out of curiosity will they do cremations by choice?
Donating a body to science is free.
Yeah, if I have trouble selling one I donate it to science and get the tax deduction.
112: Yeah, graduate students will eat anything and like it.
112: Not really what I had in mind when I've fantasized about having a handsome med student explore every inch of my body, but I guess it's an option.
piles of cash that are somehow going to blossom miraculously from my ass
You don't own Xerxes, do you?
Occasionally even Dave Barry gets it right: "Have you ever wondered why it takes a bride months and months to plan a wedding, but a good funeral can be pulled together in two days? The elements are all the same -- church, minister, music, flowers, guests, food."
When my friend M.'s father died, he braced himself for the terrible process of arranging the funeral but, when he got to the funeral home, found out that his father had pre-arranged everything years ago. He was so relieved and grateful that he instead planned his own funeral that day so nobody would have to go through that for him.
The elements are all the same -- church, minister, music, flowers, guests, food.
Brings to mind the old saw about "What's the difference between an Irish wedding and and Irish wake?"
(Answer: one drunk fewer)
Also, since cremation pollutes, some people are now offering something similar where they dip the corpse in liquid nitrogen and then shatter it with sound waves.
why it takes a bride months and months to plan a wedding, but a good funeral can be pulled together in two days
The answer is obvious, if the deceased is the bride's mother.
they dip the corpse in liquid nitrogen and then shatter it with sound waves.
Theoretically you could do this with a hammer as well.
120: Is there any room left for, "From ashes to ashes, dust to dust," in freeze-dried burial methods.
If you click through, the remains are powdery, so 'dust'.
123: According to the article, the virtue of the freeze-drying procedure is that it returns your body to compost that much more quickly. So, yes.
Pwned again! God, I missed LB those couple of days when she decided to get serious about her job.
why not diamonds?
http://www.lifegem.com/
127: The tribes of the Upper East Side say the man who slays his enemy, has his enemy cremated, and has his enemy's ashes converted into a fake gem for his third wife, gains that enemy's spirit.
128. There is something very appealing in that visual. Perhaps there is a script in it.
Could you just it into a gem for yourself?
On second thought, I don't really want that stupid fucker's spirit anywhere near me. Current offer, just freshly arrived. His lawyer, in what I struck me as the funniest Freudian slip ever, erroneously refers to the proposed payout from me to him as "his child support." Yeah, uh, the whole point of this process is that I only want to be responsible for supporting one child, and I picked the smart and charming 8 year old for that!
It seems more like a cod-Borges short to me: something one of the Brooklyn-cum-Berkeley writers (Chabolethanzenaustallaceggers) would come up with, with the dull, yellowish stone knocking against some avaricious trollop's sternum while the protagonist -- a hardworking, expensively-educated but impoverished, unemployed, part Jewish if you can work it into the plot, young woman disinherited by her mother's secret murder and replacement -- looks on.
cremation pollutes
See, this is what I don't get about burial. Embalming? Big-ass fucking casket made of some kind of rare tropical wood? Which you *put into the ground*??? Setting aside a ton of land for cemeteries, which ends up being poisoned land with all those fucking embalming chemicals in it?
It's just gross. Cremation, thank you, or donation to science, yes. And if there are laws that says you must be in a casket they're frankly disgusting and should be repealed on environmental grounds alone. Have cemeteries that consist of memorial markers and, if you want, buried ashes. Much more space-sensitive and a lot less ridiculous.
You know, B I wonder if modern tech will help with this. I think that 3/4 of the need of cemetaries is for the rememberance of the dearly departed. Well, you can post there life on youtube, if you want, so now we just need to get rid of the body, which as you say, we have several options.
I'm pretty sure my father wants to be cremated and to have his ashes scattered someplace in the Sierras. Sounds good to me. I think it's part of a last-ditch attempt to get my sister and me interested in backpacking.
I want my body sold to science. Even if it's just like $10 or something, I'd like to know my remains have a dollar amount attached to them. Donation is Romantic.
Broken glass everywhere, people pissing on the stairs, you know they just don't care.
I actually would like to have my body dumped in a national forest for the carrion eaters. Being buried at sea is the closest you can legally come.
We did put my father's ashes partly on his vegetable garden. Cosmic, eh?
133: Eh, I get the desire of people to have some kind of actually *dignified* memorial. So fine, a stone the size of a coffee table book or something with your name, dates, and a nice statement about you or something. But the idea that your loved one's death should also involve the death of several mahogany trees and 72 cubic feet of land--while emotionally understandable at the time, when you might think the entire world should end--is really not something we ought, as a society, to condone.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17933669/
Was this dignified enough for you, B?
From an agricultural point of view cemetery land is lost, but from the green space point of view they can be good things.
"I was No. 1 on the 'who's likely to die' list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list," Richards said.
137: Someone was setting up a burial park; they put you in a hole with no nasty chems, no non-biodegradable liners/coffins/whatever, and no permanent marker. YOu'll biodegrade completely in a few years, that way. I forget where it was.
The cemetary where we buried my father-in law had an old and new section. New plots could only have flat markers, as opposed to the traditional headstone that we see in everyone's yard at this time of year. This is so that the giant spiderlike lawnmower can be used, much like a zamboni. In the older part of the cemetary the groundskeeper has to use a push mower.
144: I'd like that. Maybe keep a list of where everyone is based on the identifiable trees nearby.
(Chabolethanzenaustallaceggers)
I hope Jonathan Lethem's name hasn't been incorporated into the above chimaera?
147: No, "-leth-" just came to me out of nowhere.
144: There's one in Marin. "Bodies are buried in either a simple wooden box, a biodegradable box, or in just a shroud, and bodies are not preserved with embalming fluid."
but from the green space point of view they can be good things.
Only if they actually get used as green space, too. Otherwise, put in a park.
149: That's probably the one I was remembering.
I'd like to see cemetaries as green spaces, but no headstones. Have all the names and dates engraved on big stone walls like the Vietnam memorial. Have some nice big trees, picnic benches, etc. Best of all worlds.
I'd like to see cemetaries as green spaces, but no headstones.
Yeah, I don't know. There's something compelling about marking and visiting a very specific plot of ground. I like the tree idea.
