er.. my "penis is a utilitarian!" to preserve symmetry on rewatch. and suddenly not funny.
go away. :)
"I'm gonna pretend I'm smokin' this. And you can pretend you're a nice person."
dave chapelle: fucking hilarious. thanks ogged!
didn't he say that his penis is _humanitarian_?
Comedy Central took him from us and replaced him with Carlos Mencia
because we were bad
sounds like he's around doing these manic, marathon sessions at clubs:
wikipedia says:
On April 15, 2007, Chappelle shattered the Laugh Factory's endurance record by performing on the comedy club's stage for six hours and seven minutes. Also, on October 7, 2007, because of a missed flight to London, he made a surprise visit to the Comedy Village, home of his first New York City performance. He performed for four hours and twenty minutes, a record in New York.
Chappelle has such an odd (in a good way) spirit. He has a mainstream temperament wedded to some not-so-mainstream politics. He seems like the exact opposite of a young Chris Rock, whom I remember as pretty standard in his outlook, but fairly openly angry.
8 is insane. I can't imagine doing stand-up for forty-five minutes, much less seven hours. That's fucking nuts.
Amphetaminesm, obviously.
I was very sorry when Robin Williams rehabbed.
8- Seems sadly odd. His humor isn't my favorite, but he's technically excellent. The Blind Black White-Supremacist was genius. My worst (or best?) guilty laugh. Which demographic would find that funniest?
He's clearly overrated. Like Blade Runner. Obviously.
Mind of Mencia is the worst thing ever. Chappelle does need to come back, if only so that frat boys will feel like they have an excuse to make fun of black people.
Comedy Central took him from us and replaced him with Carlos Mencia because we were bad
There's nothing we could have done to deserve that.
The only comedians who have made a laugh-out-loud impression on me lately are Patton Oswalt and Dave Attell.
Now I feel racist. Damn it.
You've all seen the vids of Mencia being attacked on stage for stealing material, right? What a low-life.
I found out recently I'm related to Dave Attell. He's like a 2nd or 3rd cousin. I dunno, I was proud.
Patton Oswalt has made me hurt. I saw him open for White Trash Wins Lotto, a cabaret musical based on the life of W. Axl Rose. He told two jokes in the space of twenty minutes. One was "No one ever goes into Yoshinoya Beef Bowl." The second one was "Richard Dawson was always drunk." I have never laughed so painfully hard.
For me it's Sarah Silverman. I think I have Jesus is Magic memorized. "Can I steal you?"
It's too bad that Sarah Silverman's show on Comedy Central sucks so much -- I love the stand-up DVD, too.
always found him a little uncomfortably racist, but he's so genial at the same time you can't help but like him.
That last line -- "pussy is what keeps this family together" -- is a classic male-perspective line of the sort that would be shouted down at Unfogged.
"pussy is what keeps this family together"
New mouseover text.
And it looks like he knows different Jamaicans to the ones we get here. A shame the US drew up the drawbridge in 1952.
It's too bad that Sarah Silverman's show on Comedy Central sucks so much
No way, jose, you've been huffing scotch-guard. Her show is the best.
I find Sarah Silverman's show to be really ham-fisted.
ham-fisted is the new delightfully dexterous.
All the good female comedians I've seen were obscure stand-up comics whose names I don't remember, so I can't really establish my bonafides here.
Sarah Silverman's bit on The Aristocrats was the highlight of the movie for me.
Stay-at-home-moms are preventing me from being my funniest.
We have to do *something* when Oprah's not on.
Stay-at-home-moms want to sex mutumbo when Oprah's not on.
Yeah, but when Mutombo's not around, second best is messing with Heebie.
Anti-Semites. It's kosher-roast-fisted.
to be really ham-fisted.
Oh, it's totally kosher with me.
(Get it... "ham-fisted"... "kosher"... 'cause she's all, like, Jewish and stuff... ah, never mind.)
The five comedians worth listening to are of course David Cross, Louis CK, Patton Oswalt, Sarah Silverman, and Chappelle (nobody else could have pulled off this classic sketch).
Anti-Semites Nazis. It's kosher-roast-fisted.
We regret the error.
Is it just me, or does everyone else sort of feel like we've had the Serious Relationship Talk and are now ready to move on to the loooooovemaking portion of our evening?
And the correct dose of scotch-guard makes you smarter, not dumber. Some can't handle it, of course.
I spent most of the Talk surreptitiously watching hockey over my date's left shoulder, so I'd feel a little guilty.
40: It does seem unusually slow around here, even for a weekend.
I'd really just like to be held now.
People with lives have to set priorities and ration their time. Relatively speaking, at least, DS probably has a life.
Right now, all I have is hangover.
Pretending to be interested in hockey is a well-honed Canadian survival skill. I'm just a few points off first place in my hockey pool, and I don't even know what teams half my players are on.
You know what pisses me off about hockey? I love the musician Don Cherry, but he's hard to find on Google because of the hockey announcer (who I've been told is a jerk too.) I also have been disappointed by Satan, who never became a superstar.
I don't even know what teams half my players are on.
Can't you get arrested for that?
I had my museum date today. It did not last three hours.
I love the musician Don Cherry, but he's hard to find on Google because of the hockey announcer
Isn't there a WikiPedia article on him in the first two hits? WikiPedia's pretty useful, right?
"Don Cherry" the Coach's Corner icon is mostly a stage persona. The guy himself has a reputation for being personally warm, if a bit blue-collar reactionary. Apparently the tenor of his public persona has grown a lot more brittle since his wife died, which is understandable.
Satan. Damn. I forgot all about that guy.
Can't you get arrested for that?
Not if nobody finds out. Sssshhh...
I had my museum date today. It did not last three hours
But positive?
Actually, it might be Youtube which was swamped with hockey Don Cherry.
Heebie, you can't be held without due cause. We've been trying to get the warrant, but the Senate Judiciary Committee is blocking us.
But positive?
It was okay, but there won't be any more.
54: Weirdly, I just went looking for a Coach's Corner clip and found this. I've never really listened to Don Cherry the jazz trumpeter that much; he's pretty good.
The stuff he did in Scandinavia was great. It was like World Music, but funny. He did a sort of avant-garde version of Tikki-tikki-tembo. Jan Garbarek's early stuff was good too.
52: I'm reporting you to the Mounties right now.
Ah, well. Maybe they'll have me in France. Seems like an interesting country.
Dude, that is some crazy fucked-up shit.
Well, that's the last comment we'll have from John for a few hours, I bet.
If only someone had forseen the horrors CGI would eventually visit on the human race.
I saw you in that clip, B. You were the wholesome one.
B, it's just you, me, and Ds now, all alone together.
Damn. B and DS have run off. Won't hear from them for awhile.
Oh, good. This must be the relationfree meeting. AWB might drop by.
Never, ever huff Scotch-Gard. Just don't do it.
feel free to huff scotch, though.
Sorry, I wasn't gone. Just being sweet-talked by my boyfriend.
DS? I lost my chance though, all these other people are here now.
Sifu must be one of the people who can't handle their Scotch-Gard. Wimp.
I was being sweet-talked by the hair of the dog. And quite effectively.
I'll be running off shortly, but since we're talking about Scotchgard, here's an anecdote for you: when I was buying furniture for my current place, the salesman sold me on Scotchgarding the couch by listing off all the substances it would protect against. He start off with "blood, vomit, [segued into a bunch of irrelevant crap," and I enjoyed the look on his face when I shushed him, saying, "No, no, no... you had me at blood and vomit."
Later everyone.
No, the guy you met. I think DS is off watching a hockey game or something.
I enjoyed the look on his face when I shushed him, saying, "No, no, no... you had me at blood and vomit."
So unCanadian of you.
B is an essentialist about nationality.
DS is a hyphenated Canadian.
I'd just love to see the paperwork on B's expulsion.
a hyphenated Canadian
My people are known as "shitshow-Canadians."
It was a series of very boring emails, John. Shall I forward them to you?
I imagine that they just say "Subject is an insupportable begins-with-B-and-rhymes-with-ditch, if you know what I mean, and will never be able to adapt to our way of life.
Boring emails are sweettalking? I could be Smoove B then.
No, they say "please tell us as soon as possible if you're coming back next year because we need to plan" / "okay, well, I'm not" / "okay, I figured, please send an official letter to the Dean" / "all right, done."
There was an exchange in which the chair wanted me to pin down what days I'd be back to clean out my office, so he could have a going away party (what with being very polite and all), and I was difficult about it, and the party never happened.
Really, I do have lousy manners.
and the party never happened.
How un-American of you.
Okay, now I really am going.
Were you handcuffed? Probably not, the Canadians are weenies. They let a lot of terrorist into the U.S., you know, though in your case they really had no choice.
I know, it was really crappy of me not to give people a chance to say goodbye, but I would have been mortified, frankly.
36: Louis CK
I don't know why I clicked through on that, but damn I think he was my best friend for a couple years in elementary school. His name was pronounced CK but it was written out in a rather difficult polish fashion.
Thanks DS!
I would have been mortified, frankly.
Are you some secret introvert who hates being the center of attention, or could you not keep the shit-eating grin off your face about how happy you were to be gone?
I felt guilty about quitting, and I find formal, final goodbyes extremely awkward.
91: that rules, spaz! He has a TV show! He's so successful now, by comparison! That must be neat!
I'd like to introduce y'all to someone. Anybody around?
DESTROY ALL STRANGER!
Oh wait!
Knecht are you showing your wife unfogged?
Just don't tell her about the savage tryst we had while smuggling that drug money.
I totally am, too.
Really, we're all very nice!
My son, who has just been watching the Addams Family, is singing a song that contains the line "the PK is the nookie."
He's so successful now, by comparison!
Sigh, how true. Now tell his dad.
Mrs. R., we're really not usually this damn boring. I bet Knecht introduced you today just so you'd think there's no drug running going on here.
Good evening, folks. Nice to finally hear about y'all...
How long has Mr. Ruprecht been doing this any way?????
I don't think I'd be very good at this, I just don't have the skirt for it.
By the way, Tweety, have sweet dreams tonight!
who has just been watching the Addams Family 1999-vintage MTV
I don't think I'd be very good at this, I just don't have the skirt for it.
Patently self-refuting.
Hey, just popping back in to check about the dru--
uhhh--
uuums. Drum circle. The Unfogged drumming circle, which we are putting together, for improvement of our various communities.
Hello, Mrs. Ruprecht. Are you fond of drumming? African-Canadians are fond of drumming.
I'll just be off. spaz, that's awesome about Louis C.K., small world.
God, I actually *am* chairing an event that has a goddamn drum circle this week.
Perhaps, some other quiet Saturday evening when he wants to reach out to me and include me in his world, Mr. Ruprecht will bring me along again.
I've been wondering about all that money lying around- good to know he's not alone. I worry about him sometimes....
B. I plan on continuing to read your wonderful blog-
Thanks for the memories,
Mrs. R
Yeah, Mrs. R., come back. We can talk KR's foibles and idiocyncracies.
Thanks Mrs. R., but the sad secret is that this place is more fun. And way more profitable.
Dear lord that's embarrassing, B.
117: The drum circle is not my idea. Nor the beading. Nor the "(generic) Native American cooperative games." Goddamn hippies.
"(generic) Native American cooperative games."
BORING. Bring someone in to show people how to throw tomahawks. You'll get better turnout.
lacrosse.
better than beads.
maybe still behind tomahawk throwing
I lobbied for, you know, actual content. Like getting an actual real Chumash educator to give a talk about actual real Chumash Indians, instead of a bunch of feel-good white guilt nonsense about "Indian symbols" and "cooperation." But alas.
Luckily PK's teacher, who it turns out is part Blackfoot, is as horrified as I am, and is going to start teaching the kids actual real things after Thanksgiving.
Hello Mrs R! Nice to see Knecht finally manned up and told you - bet this is all a massive anticlimax though. Does this mean you're both coming on the Unfogged drug-smuggling mission cruise next year?
I do so want to know the story of how he told her about this place.
124--
'manned up' s/b 'skirted up'.
You don't "skirt up." You "zip up your skirt."
If KR's not tough enough to tell his wife about his secret Unfogged life, he's not tough enough to wear a skirt.
I'm awake (it's 2.20am) because my 5 year old has been horribly sick, and I know that if I go back to sleep she'll throw up again. If I can stay awake all night, she'll probably be ok ....
Maybe you should throw up? As reverse psychology, you see.
129: BZZZZT. NO. Tweety doesn't have the skirt for this game.
Oh man, Asilon, I feel for you. We had that problem Wednesday night. I think PK threw up like seven or eight times. So, so awful.
"upskirted"
You're such an innocent Sifu, that I hesitate to say this, but that term could be misconstrued.
128--
what's odd is that i have the distinct sense that this family of idioms already exists in the u.k.
is that right, or am i imagining it?
"(generic) Native American cooperative games."
What a coincidence, I happen to have just had this article recommended to me, which could prove useful in lobying against that idea.
It was entirely without melodrama. She was sitting at her computer and I asked her if she wanted to see my guilty internet pleasure. Presumably she was relieved it wasn't Japanese anime porn.
yeah, much vomiting of late in the bitzer nursery.
one got it, then the next, then after a few days recovery the first one relapsed into geyser mode.
clearly something hella contagious in the schools.
oy.
Thanks NickS. I've loaned PK's teacher the Anti-Bias Curriculum handbook, hoping he can use it to argue with the white guilt hippie head teacher. I'll offer both of them this article, but I kinda suspect it's over white guilt hippie head teacher's head....
137: so now you'll be at Unfoggidycon: The Year We Make Contact?
138: Yeah, it seems to be going the rounds of PK's school. Thank god Mr. B. (!!) and I managed not to get it. Knock wood.
140: Let's take this one step at a time, shall we?
Mrs. Ruprecht finally showed up? Ever other thread, KR boasts about how hot she is.
It's not boasting if it's true.
Marcus, we've already let the drug thing slip out. Can we try to keep the prostitution ring quiet for a little while? Jeez.
132, 138 - huh, now I know where she got it from ... I hate wondering whether the other 5 of of us are going to catch it.
137 - so, that wasn't painful was it? Are you going to tell her your other secrets now?
136--
why should native americans feel uncomfortable with classroom recreations of their ceremonies performed by anglos?
i'm sure if a group of non-believers were to start dressing up as priests and bishops and acting out roman masses in a classroom with bread and wine, with plenty of incense and chanting latin, the catholic church would think that was totally fine and respectful and all.
and a wonderful way to share understanding of other cultures, too!
It's not boasting if it's true.
Not so. It's still boasting.
pwned by Sifu. And that big dick Apo.
148: well, geez, pedant, you'd obviously want to kill off the Roman Catholics first.
Nobody complains when German elementary schools do coöperative Bris games on special holidays.
Not so. It's still boasting.
So it is. I've got a smokin' hot wife. Suck it.
153 was for Mrs. R.'s benefit.
152--
hey, c'mon, we'll give them their own places to live!
acres & acres! maybe even some groundwater!
ven ze germans do anysing: no von complains!
153 was for Mrs. R.'s benefit.
Don't worry Knecht. I'm sure she'll suck it someday.
I'm pretty sure the Ruprechts are swingers.
"Pretty sure" my ass. Ogged knows that as well as he knows anything.
And they say chivalry is dead??
Mr. Ruprecht has digressed.
Let's talk about children vomiting- the key is hydration, hydration, hydration. Giving them a dropper full of gatoraid or sugar water every 15 minutes can work miracles.
Good luck! Such a bummer.
we've had good luck with the syrup from canned peaches.
just a spoonful, as you say, at intervals.
Mrs. Ruprecht just asked me to bookmark unfogged on her computer, so I'm going to have to be on my best behavior from now on.
People decide to be a little more open to sexist male commentary, and look where we are just a day later. A lady can't even hang out here any more. Feminists are right not to trust men.
159: In these parts, chivalry is largely decomposed. Except (of course!) for your Knecht in Shining Armor, who is gracious as can be.
Actually, how could I overlook this...for kids vomiting, popsicles are the best. It naturally gives a slow gradual dosage of sugar water.
I threw up all the time when I was little, and popsicles always worked.
I'm going to have to be on my best behavior from now on.
This oughta be good.
Popsicles are contraindicated in the middle of the night when the kid is alternately sleeping and puking. PK had a glass of ginger ale (with actual ginger in it, which to his surprise he reported liking "even though I hate it when I'm not sick") by his my bedside. That and a bucket.
'Course mostly he drank a little ginger ale, dozed off, woke up, puked it back up, drank a little more, dozed off, etc.
167--
and ginger ale aside, haven't we all had friday nights like that?
It's pretty awful when they're puking and saying "help me" at the same time.
Of course, it's also pretty awful to be dragging yourself and a sick kid into the shower at midnight to wash off the vomit. And his hair, my god.
166: sheesh, B, he didn't mean they were applied orally.
Tweety, I know you're trying to get out of babysitting, but I'm still going to stick you with PK as soon as you get back to the proper coast.
Ugh. You know, puking really sucks. I hated it. When I was 11 and had the flu for the umpteenth time, I decided I was never going to vomit ever again. And I didn't for the next 27 years.
172: get out of it, hell. There's nothing I enjoy more than applying the anal popsicle cure.
You know what's worse than puking? Puking in a club that's so crowded there's no place to discreetly pursue your emesis such that it doesn't go all over somebody and so instead you are forced to skirt up and swallow your own vomit.
Consider this a purely theoretical comment.
Ah well, she's still asleep, I'm going to risk going to bed.
175 - a friend of mine puked very neatly into an empty glass in a similar situation. We took the piss for years, but I was secretly impressed.
hope she's past the worst of it, asilon.
178: it wasn't the kind of party where you'd find glassware, and I would bet her money she couldn't puke into the top of a little plastic water bottle.
This thread is making me nauseated. I so hate puking and everything to do with puking. It may be impossible for me ever to have kids.
181: I wonder if we could make you puke sympathetically over the internet? That might be a first!
BLEEAUAUAHUHUH!!!
Did it work?
First-time late night lurk. Isn't this the time when the dirty hippies with puppets are around?
I have iron self-control. The only puking incident since my resolution occurred after five straight hours of expensive wines and a massive ten-course gourmet meal. I was under the mistaken impression that classy food and alcohol could not make you puke.
183: this is my giant puppet, its name is Pukey. Pukey, don't you have anything to say to the nice people?
184: clearly you are not a student of the Roman Empire.
I wonder if we could make you puke sympathetically over the internet?
But you know, I bet Apo could dig up a video that would work for this.
184- It's not that you won't puke. It's that your puke won't smell as bad.
I am but a poor substitute for apo.
So. Is this what the old Unfogged was like?
after five straight hours of expensive wines and a massive ten-course gourmet meal.
There must have been something else wrong. This should not make you puke.
189- yep. puke jokes right now to be followed by fart and cock jokes.
So, that was less painful than I envisioned. Mrs. Ruprecht is off to bed. Thanks to all those who made her feel welcome.
I once attended a New Year's Eve party at a beach resort on the Red Sea even though I was in the throes of salmonella (contracted from eating hors place, of course). About three bites into the first course, I had to tear the conical cardboard party hat off my head that had been conveniently supplied by the management and puke into it on my way out the door. I was kind of a buzz kill for my table, I think.
Knecht you wuss!
Glad that's over with.
Sifu's purely theoretical comment at 175 (swallow??) puts me in mind of a friend whose greatest embarrassment, as he reported with honest-to-god embarrassment, was nearly passing out at a Residents halloween gig at the Fillmore. Something to do with a substance or two.
"Come on now," he told himself, almost falling over onto the people in front of him, "how embarrassing, you can't do this, you can't pass out at a Residents gig at the Fillmore."
It worked.
Parents whose kids get sick are bad parents. My kid never got sick but once, and I immediately stopped being bad.
i am depressed by the news that clear channel is redecorating many of their venues in other cities in the same style as the fillmore, and changing their names to "the fillmore" as well.
182: You fucker, I'm starting to not feel so well.
181: I hate puking too, and was really worried about dealing with it when I had a kid. Mr. B. and I had a deal: he'd do puke, I'd do poop. And yet, somehow, I end up doing both. Bastard.
On the up side, well, somehow you deal.
I can't believe I clicked on the link. Not helping.
Mr. B. and I had a deal: he'd do puke, I'd do poop.
And then you came to the similarly equitable arrangement that you'd do snot, he'd do appendicitis.
Appendicitis hasn't come up yet, and I do do snot. Now that you point it out, I am beginning to feel hard done by.
tear the conical cardboard party hat off my head
my daughter's third birthday party was kind of like this. she was sick, but was desperate to still have a party. we gave her a dixie cup, and she carried it around with her and once or twice during the party emptied her guts into it. in our defense, we at least told the handful of guests they were coming to a party with a sick kid.
200, and we've gone from puke to do do.
and I do do snot.
Do do snot! Gross!
Step away, bitzer, I need room for my genius to expand.
Do do snot! Gross!
Not as gross as kids with snotty upper lips. Shudder.
It may be impossible for me ever to have kids.
I'm no great fan of bodily fluids, but your kids' just feel like an extension of your own body. Gross, but not off-putting.
I remember watching a friend before I had kids. His son spit out a piece of apple into his hand. He looked around, saw no where to dispose of it, and popped it in his mouth.
I thought that was really disgusting. But I wouldn't think twice about it now with my own.
B, you understand that I'm inviting you to imagine poop boogers?
You think that's puke but it's snot.
You are?!? That's so gross. And mean. You suck. You suck slug slime.
A dixie cup???
yeah, that could have been ugly if she'd filled it. but she had a really little tummy.
I thought you meant boogery poop, SB. Maybe it's time for a little clarification.
Dear bitchphd,
Please imagine poop boogers. The favor of a reply is requested.
I stand corrected. SB, maybe you don't suck. Would you please clarify what you meant?
Maybe it's time for a little clarification.
Ghee boogers?
popsicles are good, but even better is popsicles made of oral rehydration salts--I get them from the pharmacy. it's like a plastic envelope of ORS constituted with water that you stick in the freezer.
for those who think they can't have kids on account of the puking, the vomit of your own child is magically a million times less gross than the puke of, say, your drunk friend. because back in caveman days, the parents who were too grossed out to wash barf out of their kids' hair did not go on to have surviving offspring. I am 100% serious about this morsel of ev-psych.
doing drugs also gives you a pretty blasé attitude towards puking. I probably threw up once a day on average for a number of years, sometimes a lot worse if I accidentally overdid things. my teeth are fine, thought, which seems like evidence for a malign demiurge, who was focused on strengthening the lovely white tooth enamel of some idiot rich kid junkie when he should have been arranging for widespread distribution of ORS to impoverished children, saving thousands of children's lives at $.50 a pop. fucker.
I know my friend's 18-month-old daughter is my friend because last week anything she chewed for a while and got tired of she handed to me.
Dear Standpipe,
Oddly, poop boogers continue to bother me less than kids with snotty upper lips.
Yours,
Alright, I'm making out little stickies for every one in the conversation. Yellow ones are for talking about puke. Red for poop. And green for snot.
Standpipe just used all of his on that one idea. You're done SB.
doing drugs also gives you a pretty blasé attitude towards puking.
Damn, I wish someone had told me that when I was younger. Maybe I'd have done drugs.
You can deal with puke if you have to. I was in a locker room a couple of years ago and some guy had overdone his workout and puked right next to me. I asked him if he wanted some water and he said yes and handed me his puked-covered water bottle. I just took it and rinsed it off. This contextual adjustment must be part of why some people like "roughing it."
218 is horrifyingly cute. Did you fold it up and put it in your pocket?
...back in caveman days...
The phrase is "back on the veldt", newbie.
You're very welcome.
Ogged, are you trying for sainthood, or what?
Bye!
Hmmm, these stickies aren't working they way I'd hoped.
I didn't know his water bottle was covered in puke until he handed it to me. Too late!
At least you were in the locker room, with access to a shower.
228: Just making the best of a bad situation, eh? I think you could have done a lot more to transform that into a better situation, by, say, telling him to get his own water. Dirty puker.
Come back, SB! You can have some of my stickies. Uh huh.
We need a sticker for fart....or is that covered by poop?
No, no, fart jokes on this blog are unmetered.
I've got these nice purple ones here for farts. You can have two.
fart jokes on this blog are unmetered
I believe that would be cock jokes. This site has a rather strong stance on farts in general.
I heard they found him naked.
He was masturbating to images of himself naked. When he stopped, he died.
I heard they found him naked.
I heard those who found him dead were naked.
I, naked, heard they found him.
238: Don't ruin my fun, Spaz. Or I will cut you.
This has been boring. A flashback:
A man had just delivered a toad from his wife's armpit. He
held it by its legs and spanked it.
Do you love it? said his wife.
It's our child, isn't it?
Does that mean you can't love it? she said.
It's hard enough to love a toad, but when it turns out to be
your own son then revulsion is without any tender inhibition,
he said.
Do you mean you would not like to call it George Jr.?
she said.
But we've already called the other toad that, he said.
Well, perhaps we could call the other one George Sr.,
she said.
But I am George Sr., he said.
Well, perhaps if you hid in the attic, so that no one needed
to call you anything, there would be no difficulty in calling
both of them George, she said.
Yes, if no one talks to me, then what need have I for a name?
he said.
No, no one will talk to you for the rest of your life. And
when we bury you we shall put Father of Toads on your
tombstone.
Actually the thread Spaz linked suggested that SB has always already been disappearing, Ogged has always already been worrying about the decline of the blog, and at one point people were worried that there weren't enough comments.
Maybe things would improve if Ben wrote more posts in Latin.
Loosely inspired by 244, here's a joke my dad used to tell:
There was once a person named George the Toilet Seat who went to court to get a name change. The judge asked, "so why do you want to change your name?" and George answered, "well, your honor, I'm actually a woman." This seemed like a reasonable enough reason to change one's name, so the judge asked, "what name would you like instead?" and George answered, "George the Female Toilet Seat." The judge agreed that this was a perfectly reasonable new name, and approved the request. And George the Female Toilet Seat lived a long and happy life from then on.
Norman Mailer was married six times. I can never remember the names of the wives, except for Anne Boleyn.
Jokes. In case you were unable to catch the 1,000 posts on Lurkers, I am rerunning a Di Kotimy cock joke.
321: So, it was Chinese New Year, and Rory plopped down on the couch to tell me about her day at school.
"What did you learn today, sweetpea?"
"I shouldn't marry a cock," say Rory.
I wipe up the coffee I have spat all over myself. "Um, yeah. I agree, that's definitely true. But, um, well... This came up in school?!"
"Yeah, see?" She pulls a placemat from a Chinese restaurant from her bag printed with the Chinese Zodiak. "I'm a rabbit. I shouldn't marry a cock."
Norman Mailer turned me against all sexual politics forever. I have always hated him.
It's a pity that women and gays should have to suffer because of my hatred of Norman Mailer, but them's the breaks. I thought Kate Millet was somewhat on the right track, but then she went bad on me.
250: I agree he was more stabby than choppy.
I can't believe I missed the introduction of Mrs. Ruprecht. Then again, I've never seen Knecht and his wife together in the same room, so I'm not entirely convinced she exists. She could be a sock puppet.
Come to think of it, Ruprecht himself could be a sock puppet. But whose?
How is that not coöperative?
Swoon.
Oddly, poop boogers continue to bother me less than kids with snotty upper lips.
The phrase is "stiff upper lip".
Mr Cherry's daughter is pretty cool too...
I've never seen Knecht and his wife together in the same room, so I'm not entirely convinced she exists.
Silence, you fool! Do you realize how much trouble I could be in if the IRS ever figures that out?
This was not the thread to read after waking up with the taste of Miller High Life still in the back of my mouth. I'm actually in the position of envying all these sick kids. Puking and popsicles sounds like heaven now.
If nothing else, why the hell can't I taste that delicious mango vodka from last night? Why High Life? Ugh.
Solution: boycott Miller and all other clear-bottle beers.
In addition to Mailer and Miller, Emerson also dislikes Müller and Mylar.
How do you feel about Mahler, John?
I sorta like the first symphony, but not really. Put him on the list.
Dislikes Müller?! The shame!
I sentence Emerson to read my entire dissertation.
266 could provide decent motivation to finish it.
Well, they do always tell you to write with your audience in mind.
270: that's half the trouble with finishing a thesis/dissertation. Thinking about the audience of 7 people is disheartening.
"With his implied disavowal of all intimate human relationships, Müller was better able than any German playwright of his era to express the concerns and desires of small-town midwesterners of mid-20th century America -- primarily by reflecting those interests through the prism of 13th century central European history."
Seven? I was only counting on the three members of my committee (with a broad definition of 'read'). And my mom.
273: It was a generous estimate, and may include your mom (looks at the figures, title headings) and your officemate with whom you swore a blood oath to edit each others drafts.
Of course half your committee won't actually read the whole thing, either, but there is no need to be essential about this.
273/274: my committee was five, so adjust your numbers appropriately.
implied disavowal of all intimate human relationships
His adaptation of Dangerous Liasons (Quartett) would seem to support that. One of the most deliciously cynical things I have ever read.
He was married three times, though.
Perhaps he was researching relationships. I suspect Roth, Mailer, and Bellow of doing that too.
He was married three times, though
Maybe a know your enemy sort of thing?
Pwned by a veritable flock of misanthropes.
If I were serious about proselytizing the no-relationship policy, I'd be dating all the time and getting married occasionally to get more data. Data-dating, you'd call it.
It's funny -- for the cost of one of his marriages, Bellow and Mailer could have spent years in the Galapagos or Tibet or Ethiopia or somewhere researching interesting things. Morons. It's not ike the world needs to more about bad marriages between tedious people. It's like the weatherman telling you it's raining.